RIP to Ray Stevenson, a man who truly fit the role and made Baylan a great character.
Constructive criticism is welcome!
Stay safe, my friends.
- Spectre 6
Lost, confused and sad. These were the emotions running through Shin Hati as she stood by herself in the very spot that her master and friend stood earlier. Baylan Skoll said he had a different path, telling Shin hers was "in Thrawn's new Empire." When had that been decided? Is that even what she wanted? Did she care at all about Thrawn's Empire? Did she even care about the power Baylan previously mentioned? Shin didn't know. Baylan hadn't even been 100% open with her about this entire situation.
Shin had always loyally followed Baylan's lead. She may have questioned him, but she still obeyed and trusted him. Now, without him, she had no idea what to do. She could go back to Thrawn, but then what? Last time they met, Thrawn didn't seem all that pleased about Baylan's former Jedi roots, and didn't even acknowledge Shin. Would he care about her? Want her employ? Probably not. After all, it was Morgan who hired them. Thrawn probably had no use for Force users.
She could go out on her own, become either a bounty hunter or mercenary, earn money that way and start fresh. Honestly, it didn't sound appealing. Shin had the Force and a lightsaber, bounty hunting sounded boring and easy. Although, Shin was well aware how lucrative it could be. The question was, did she care more about making money or simply finding purpose? What was the fun of money if you didn't care about items? That did raise another question, what was her purpose?
Up until this point, her purpose was whatever Baylan wanted, and she was fine with this. Shin had never considered a life by herself and what that would entail. To others, Baylan and Shin were an odd pair, and most probably assumed they were your average Sith. That couldn't have been farther from the truth. While Shin could admit she was an angry, feisty young woman who let her emotions lead her, she wasn't a Sith - neither was Baylan. They were...what were they? Dark Jedi? or "People making a living in the galaxy"? Maybe both. For Baylan and Shin, they were friends, they had a bond, and in some ways, Shin looked up to him like a father. There was so much more to the duo than what people saw.
Shin obviously had the capability to kill, but again, the question was, what job would even be worthy of her talents? Private security? Or... Another thought entered her mind, one not even related to a job. Baylan had said her and Ezra Bridger were alike, having been trained outside the temple. Granted, Baylan had said Shin was "better" (which she questioned), but the point was her and Bridger were alike in a lot of ways. What if she sought him out? Maybe worked with him? It was a long shot, she knew this. but what if?
Bridger seemed reasonable, maybe he'd give her a chance - if anything out of pity. Or maybe not considering she had stabbed Sabine, and Ezra appeared to have a thing for her [Sabine]. He wouldn't hold a grudge, right? Ezra was a Jedi, they were taught not to hold grudges. Though, if Ezra was trained in even a remotely similar fashion as she had been, the "traditional" Jedi code wasn't strictly followed. Meaning Ezra Bridger could 100% want her head. Still. "What if?" She asked out loud to no one. What if he was able to become her new mentor? What if her proper place as a follower was restored?
Shin paced idly, the surrounding silence only helping her mind to cast doubts and ask more questions. Such as, what would a life as Bridger's student be like? Would he teach her more of the goody-goody things? Would his teachings focus on helping and saving people? Probably. Most likely. Was Shin that type of person? It was a serious question, and one she couldn't answer. Was she a good person? Did she want to help people? or was she bad? Would she rather hurt them? The question brought up a memory of something Baylan once said.
- Flashback -
Baylan stared at Shin with a slightly softer than normal expression. "Make no mistake, the Jedi were flawed and had many faults, however, they had good intentions. The Order was held back by rules, regulations and the notion that good guys are 100% pure with no darkness. This was a very broad darkness that included small things such as romance. Jedi were trained to be emotionless, heartless warriors. True, they avoided fighting if they could, but the fact remained they were warriors."
Baylan paused. "Meanwhile, the dark side thrives off hate, off not having a heart at all. They are also trained to be emotionless, heartless warriors, with the one exception of utilizing their anger for strength." The look of disgust was evident on Baylan's face. "There are two institutions, both of which try to criminalize normal emotions. Both that will scold and/or punish you for even having an emotion they disagree with. Jedi and Sith are alike in many ways, which is why I have formed my own path - why we are on our own path. We are not Sith. We only kill if people are interfering in our objective. We are not Jedi, we do not care about protecting others or "ridding the galaxy of evil." We only care about surviving and finding our place."
For a second, a look of calm and bliss washed over Baylan's face. "I believe I know where my place is and what I'm destined to do. But you, Shin Hati, your future is unknown, and you have yet to figure it out. but you will. It might be a struggle, and may take some time, but the answer will be clear."
- Flashback end -
"We only care about surviving and finding our place." She said, which also translated to they were lost souls trying to find their way. If Shin could talk to Ezra Bridger alone, maybe, just maybe she could plead her case. If Sabine Wren was around, which Shin was sure she would be, Sabine would want revenge. After all, Shin had been trying to kill her. "I wish you would have left me with more of an idea of what to do." Shin said. 'Or not have left me at all.' She thought bitterly. She'd forever love Baylan and be appreciative of him, but leaving her alone like this felt like a betrayal, which was a familiar feeling. Baylan had abandoned her the same way her real family had.
Shin vividly remembered the day she unknowingly used the Force. She was nine years old, and until this point, no one knew of her gift. Shin had grown up with loving parents who seemed like they would have done anything for their little girl. On the day in question, Shin was outside watching her father, who was on the roof to repair it after recent strong winds damaged several houses. Shin admired and loved her dad so much that she often paid attention to the "boring" things he did. Her father started walking to another spot on the roof and took a wrong step.
For Shin, time seemed to slow as she saw what was happening, and without any thought to it - and an instinct she still can't explain - Shin thrusted her hand towards her father. Her father stopped mid-air, just has fell off the roof. Shin remembered seeing him floating, but being so confused as to how. Again, by pure instinct, her hand moved slow to gently set her father down. Shin ran to hug her father, but the man was on his feet in an instant. For a brief second, Shin saw fear on his face, which was replaced by anger. It was that same day Shin Hati's parents took her to the outskirts of the city and told her not to come home, saying Shin's "emotional issues" were too great for them.
Her parents abandonment definitely played a part in Shin attaching herself to Baylan. In some ways, Baylan had become a father figure for her - a proper one. A man who, like Shin, had powers and understood her. Certainly a better father than her own. Yet, the most confusing part was how in the end, Baylan put himself in the same ranks as her father by abandoning her. It caused Shin to begin doubting herself. Was she unlovable? Was she too much to handle? Shin knew she had issues and could be a bit much at times, but she had thought Baylan accepted this and was trying to help her in his own way.
If in fact she was the issue, everyone would end up leaving her. Even Ezra Bridger. It didn't matter if he had good intentions or if he claimed he'd never given up on her, it would happen. If Baylan of all people left her, so would anyone else. Shin was on her own. For the past several minutes, or however long she had been standing here, anger was festering behind the scenes. Anger at Baylan, anger at her parents, anger at herself. She needed to blow off steam, she needed to unleash her anger. It was this very thing Baylan had told her she needed to control. He said that with the path they walk, it's okay to use anger to your advantage, but don't let it consume you.
At this moment in time, Shin was hurt enough that she felt like embracing the anger in all its glory. Perhaps she would. Or perhaps she'd simply go off and continue trying to find where she belongs. She didn't know, all Shin knew for certain was she couldn't stay here. With one last mournful thought to her former master, Shin Hati walked away.
