by The Pighead
I thought I would never be able to finish it.
Welcome back to DEATHFAME. Now, this is not a drill, Chapter 4 proper is finally here! Between the release of the List and this chapter, a lot happened. Me getting COVID and being slowed down, the releases of Super Mario Bros: Wonder and Sonic Superstars, the unexpected return of Homestuck: Beyond Canon (which, since I already had a plan for what happened with the characters from the comic, might not be subject to changes. Yet), me creating a Bluesky account, the death of Matthew Perry... yeah. There was a lot.
But it won't stop me from releasing the chapters of this damn story! I told y'all, I don't give up so easily! For the continuity stuff, in order to understand the chapter, I recommand y'all to read chapters 1, 3 & 10 of Tales from the Beyond. Also, it's not strictly necessary but it can help, a reading of Neon Genesis Evangelion. You'll quickly see why.
And so, with all of that being said, enjoy the chapter... and I hope the wait will be worth it for you.
Go back to the main story.
When the Administrator became aware of the fact that he wasn't alone, he and the Worldbuilder met and they quickly agreed that, despite their nature as writers, they should never try to conquer or destroy this Multiverse they chose to built and should instead dedicate themselves to its preservation.
No matter what threat they would use as an antagonist for whatever story they had in mind, none of them would be able to win. The Multiverse would ultimately stay as free as it could be.
This agreement marked the beginning of the collaboration between those who would later be known as the Monks. They were far from the first people to call themselves this name but soon enough, the infinite Earths would be witnesses to how much different they were from the previous ones.
Define an area as « safe » and use it as an anchor.
In Lab 05, there was a countertop. This was something that Pighead put on not far from her liquor supplies, in the likely case that someone wanted to have a glass or even drink an entire bottle (since her and Dr. Rattmann completely recreated their bodies and they were able to eat and drink, the animatronics were not strangers to drink some beer after work). Of course, the author would always act as the barmaid just because it was funny.
Serving drinks was cool. It was one of the multiple things that she loved to do, each day.
Also, the liquor supply behind the countertop served as a shortcut to some other parts of her headquarters. Including the ones that no one was allowed to see.
Keep the anchor safe.
As Dave Strider was slowly waking up from his stir, he was trying to ignore the little part of his brain which seemed to gave him an instruction. Thank Jegus, he still had his shades on, also. And it seemed that he could move, so he wasn't strapped onto some sort of device, that was also pretty good !
When the Knight of Time opened his eyes, all he could see was white. He could discern some vague forms, but for the rest, everything around him was as white as porcelain, almost pristine.
Dave : Turn your head around.
Doing so, Strider could notice that Dirk, Terezi & Robo-Jack (he didn't called Slick that to his face, it was in his thoughts so he would have no right to complain about it) were also laying down on the floor and waking up, becoming aware of their surroundings.
The fact that all the people present here were forming the same quartet who battled on a platform, years and years ago, looked a bit ironic to Dave. Whether it was truly that or not, it didn't matter at this exact moment. What mattered was that there was only the four of them and no one else and they needed to find the explanation why. Or, at least, trying to know what to do.
Quickly, said « what to do » manifested itself on the form of words in big white letters flashing in front of the four newcomers, once they were on their feet.
SERVE
THEM
RIGHT
The world around them (Earth-81520, for Earth-Prime readers) became more clearer after those instructions disappeared, which allowed them to realize several things. Not only they were behind a bar counter and there was several guns on said counter, there was also multiple orange, faceless humanoids in front of them.
More precisely, they seemed frozen in time, trying to run towards the newcomers but to no avail. Plus, there also was no sound, right now. They were all conscious, yes, but it was about it.
Dave : Ask something.
« yo does anyone have a plan here »
No answer. Judging by their facial expressions, it seems that Dirk & Terezi were thinking and that Slick was just grouchy, like he didn't need to have more bullshit stacking itself on top of each other.
« like i don't know what's the deal here but- »
« Dave. »
He turns his head towards Dirk, who is observing the humanoids.
« You see that ? »
« what »
« Can you just move a bit ? Just to be sure of what is happening. »
Dave : Oblige.
Strider takes a step forward and, immediately, he noticed what Dirk was noticing.
This step made him hear some sounds again, including those of footsteps. He could also see the humanoids moving a bit. When he stopped, so did they.
He was pretty sure that wasn't him who suddenly lost control of his powers and it went awry. He wasn't even able to do that during SBURB ! No, this was how this world seemed to work. Time moves, but only when someone was moving.
That was new. But hey, no one was about to complain about a new challenge !
Dave approached the counter and took one of the guns. That wasn't a weapon he was super familiar with, unlike his katanas, but if time was freezing, it would be easy to defeat them, right ?
Dave : Take your shot.
He had to fire a second bullet for it to shoot the one enemy that was the closest to him. Yep, he would have to try to use it a bit more if he wanted to use it more.
"Infinity Crisis" Reader : Point that this last sentence is redundant and ridiculous.
The scene stops immediately and The Pighead, who is coughing and wrapped in a blanket, walks on.
« I have a fever, asshole. I become dumb and can't write when I have a fever, there's no need for you to remind me of it. »
She then walks off and the scene goes back to normal.
Dirk, Terezi & SS : Join the fight.
Despite the fact that them moving allowed their enemies to move, it was easy for them to take the other weapons in the counter and start shooting. It quickly created a pretty weird situation when the quartet would shot a lot of bullets in different directions before moving their faces or arms or feet to make time follow its course and seeing them taking some of the bullets.
At one point, Terezi decided to tapdance to do so, just for the hell of it. In fact, even Spades, who you would expect to be the best to handle guns, was clearly doing a big « fuck off » to the concept of subtlety with the way he was shooting up and down and left and right. It was a proof that they weren't the guns' people. Jade, Jake & Eridan were the ones who knew how to shoot with pistols (and if they were seeing the quartet, they would probably show explicit signs of FRIENDLY DISAPPOINTMENT).
Plus, the level of the program in which they were currently into was one of the levels that wouldn't actually give katanas, at the very least.
After some time, the humanoids ended up all dead, shattered into little bits of orange glass. Silence fell again for some seconds, with the two humans, the troll and the Carapacian looking at the scene they just created.
« ok guys just before there's something unexpected that falls on our faces again i just wanted to say that if we have to stay silent like that i will probably faint or shit like that because damn i never really realized it before but the more i spend time without talking the more i feel like i'm having a heart attack or i'm tricking myself into thinking i have one because there's no sound at all »
« 1 TH1NK W3 G3T 1T, D4V3. »
« no but like rezi let's be serious a minute you never thought about how much it's scary to not talk even when other people are with you like yo is there people who are able to do it without internally freaking out »
« You're probably the only one who thinks that, Slick casually responded. M'able to do missions with the Crew where we all silent. »
The other three looked at him for some seconds without saying anything.
« man you're probably the funniest guy at the parties for sure »
« You ever played cards while drinking some alcohol after having robbed a bank, kid ? While no one can tell you shit because you hold every person in the town by the balls ? I bet ya never did, so don't lecture me on what « fun » is. »
Before Dave & Slick could start an argument, portals opened under the quartet' feet and, in one second, they were already somewhere else.
Anchor protected.
The Knight of Time, the Prince of Heart, the Seer of Mind and the mobster that became their unlikely ally, before they could even realize what was going on, started seeing time, space and universes flowing in front of them. They saw themselves running.
With them, their longtime friends but also a lot of people they didn't recognize at all. They were going in the same direction than the quartet.
Everything was blue and full of electricity and little bubbles representing fleeting moments in time, whether it was their own lives or those of others. It wasn't any place they knew, not even something that was part of any Earth.
They then looked in front of them. The only thing they could see was a silhouette but the pose was enough for them to guess that whoever it was they were running to, it wasn't someone trustworthy.
The last thing they saw was a dark-haired woman sporting an atrociously elongated, pained smile with more teeth than they could count. The last thing they heard was a shrieking, hair-rising pig squeal.
Move this along.
« Frye ? »
When the aforementionned looks up, she sees Shiver looking at something.
« Yeah ? »
« So, I know you told me to not imagine anything just because the door of the studio was closed weird but, uh… you ever saw this type of thing ? »
The yellow Inkling came closer to her partner and saw that she was holding a metallic, gray, rectangular object that looked like a very big calculator (down to the fact that there was a lot of buttons). A big « SP-404 SX » was seen in the top of the machine, with the mention « LINEAR WAVE SAMPLER » in addition.
It clearly wasn't a machine she knew about. Plus, it looked very clean so it wasn't some old remnant from the world before them who just got dug up… but it didn't made it less weird because if it was something that just got created recently, there would be at least some ads promoting it but no.
« Eeeeeeh… nope. I assume ya don't know either ? »
« Absolutely not, responded the blue Octoling. Like, I know it doesn't belong to me nor you and combined with the door being weird, that doesn't help me… y'know, not thinking that someone broke in ? »
« Eh, valid. But I'm not sure I've heard about people breaking in places, stealing nothing and leaving some weird thing here. »
The two idols laughed a little bit when imagining that.
« Anyway, if it can make you feel better, Shiv', I can check if we had any songs stolen or things like that. »
Immediately after saying that, Frye went to look at the studio' computers and started to look at it. Everything seemed normal until she saw a folder that she didn't had any memory of creating, one named « shit for later ». She clicked on it and several audio files appeared. Opening one of them, she was greeted with a sort of acoustic rap instrumental and a feminine voice rapping in a language she didn't knew at all.
The duo' only reaction to this was a stunned but brief silence before Shiver responded.
« You know what, Frye ? Next time I'm trying to make a joke, stop me before I say it and it becomes real. »
Secret shit not protected.
Bold of you to assume she wanted it to be secret forever. But anyway, let's get back to business. And by « business », I mean « a certain secret base on Earth-961 we haven't seen in a long time ».
Dr. Sydney Moist was currently extremely satisfied by what was happening, if the clapping of his hands and his tap dancing were any indication. Not only did he had all the info he needed in order to breach the BTSO' base without being stopped, but now, he also had a bunch of new prisoners who would, sooner than later, join his army ! They defended themselves quite well but this wasn't enough when his Algae Men clearly were superior when it came to numbers.
Now, here they were, at his mercy ! The expression of stern defiance on Baker's face was just the cherry on top.
« To be honest, the old man said, dear Commander, I admit that I sincerely will regret this little fight you put, hehehe… clearly, the herbs that are growing inside your brain are among the strongest I ever saw ! Maybe this position you have, you'll keep it inside my army… »
« For that, you'll have to make me surrender, maniac ! I'll fight until the very end. »
« Wait, actually, asked Moist to one of his Algae Men as if he didn't heard what Baker just said, do we have a hierarchy of command ? Just to be sure I'm not overstepping my boundaries. »
The one who got asked said nothing, just looking at his master. There was no way to guess what he was feeling, which made the sudden silence that ensued even more awkward.
« Bah ! In fact, it can wait. But, as an apology, you'll have double ration of clay-made pizza tonight ! A victory like this needs celebration ! »
Because of the power of contrived coincidences, it's at the moment Moist finished his sentence that a portal opened and four figures fell from it, landing in a surprisingly smooth way.
Looking immediately at their surroundings, Dave, Dirk, Terezi & Slick could quickly realize several things. There was no bar counter here, number one. Number two, there were a lot of green blobs and a weird, tall old man disguised as Captain Nemo, as well as military guys being apparently in distress. Number three, they couldn't even blame Skaia for what was happening, right now. And number four… why did their hands and faces and bodies suddenly looked weird ?
« dude, i don't think i should look at myself in a mirror, right now. »
« Y34H, YOU 4LL LOOK K1ND4 L1K3 YOU 4LL TURN3D 1NTO SOL1D MUD OR SH1T L1K3 TH4T ! »
« Terezi, as much as it would be a great source of information and, also, very entertaining a thing to learn, I'm pretty afraid that those fine gentlemen will not allow us to linger on that ! Or… those fine piles of green shit and gentlemen from the military ? »
Everyone looked at each other for one moment before the mad doctor pointed at the newcomers.
« Our day becomes better and better ! Capture those people, please. »
Immediately, one of the Algae Men started to run towards the quartet… before being immediately blown off by Spades' gun. The mobster threw to the old man and his minions a dark glare.
« Who's next ? »
Dave, Dirk, Terezi & SS : Skip the cool poses, because shit became REAL AGAIN.
« Capture those people more efficiently, please ! »
Asking goons politely to do something wasn't something that was usually done, but it was pleasant. At least, our heroes would remember that.
Dave, using his incredible speed, directly went for those who were restraining the prisoners. The green blobs were maybe strong but they were far from being as fast as Strider. They got immediately reduced to green puddles, allowing the BTSO' employees to stand up, free again. In response, more Algae Men started running towards the quartet.
Dirk was pretty sure that those monsters didn't have any soul he could take, like his ghost self that lived inside Jake's brain once did, but he had a katana. So, all he had to do was to swing his sword, plunging it into the chests of some of the monsters, beheading others (For once, the other Strider thought, it isn't happening to me) and cutting some more in half. All of his years as a certified renaissance philosopher ironicist ninja clearly weren't wasted, due to how easy it was to defeat them.
Terezi… just had her hands in her pockets and was looking at the green monsters who were running towards her with the most nonchalant grin she could show. Like, her and her friends fought gods who could rip apart time and space and their own traumas and psychological problems, Jegus, it wasn't a bunch of ridiculous, ugly green shits who would scare her !
She had the perfect way to neutralize them.
Terezi : Ride towards the Algae Men on Dragon Cane pretending to joust.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !
Such a shame the minions (and surely Dr. Moist himself) couldn't get the majesty of the delicate and lost art of jousting. If they did, they wouldn't have been impaled so stupidly on the swords that were on the Seer' cane, just now.
Speaking of Moist, in addition to see his minions being quickly defeated by those newcomers, he quickly saw (to his displeasure) Spades charging directly towards him, using rocket mechanisms that were a part of his butt, as he could see. He didn't had the time to ask himself what could possibly lead a man to end up with a rocket butt while being upgraded with cybernetics, as the leader of the Midnight Crew punched him in the face with strength, making the old man fall to the ground very quickly.
The mobster then proceeded to punch him again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And…
Slick, he's an old man who can't really do the action himself. I think he's already defeated. You can stop punching him.
Slick.
Slick.
Slick.
I know you can hear narrators since you met Hussie. Stop acting like you don't hear me. You can stop punching him, I said.
SS : Land the killing blow.
Spades suddenly remembers that, thanks to the power of hammerspace, he had Lord English' Assault Rifle in his pockets. He couldn't help himself but smile. At least, that green, ugly piece of shit did him one favour, even if he didn't planned for it. Grabbing the golden, heavy rifle, the Carapacian aimed it directly at Moist' skull, his pissed-off facial expression making it clear that he wasn't even amused by what he saw as a flagrant display of assclownery.
« Last words, old geezer ? »
Sydney didn't had any last words to say.
In fact, he didn't responded at all. Not because he was terrified or about to have a heart attack, mind you. More because his sole response wasn't any word, but rather his foot landing a wonderful punch directly in Slick's crotch. One of his body parts that wasn't roboticized. What luck !
Spades let his weapon fall while holding his groin and trying to breathe, which allowed Moist to get back to his feet and see that not only all his prisoners were free and armed again and that all his minions were destroyed by the two humans and the troll.
« Curses ! »
Not willing to let himself be taken so easily, the mad scientist pulled of his own pockets a jetpack and put it on his back, quickly turning it on.
« You know what ? I have all the precious time I want, hee hee hee… rest assured that this will not be our last encounter ! I'll come back. »
With that being said, he fled off at super-speed, using the same metal door the Silverwing went through to go to space and that was that.
« …yeah, we should have closed that door, actually, said Commander Baker.
« well i mean man im not sure they would have done anything about it frankly they seemed dumb enough to not even notice »
It's when they heard Dave' sarcastic comment that the BTSO employees reminded themselves of the newcomers. Turning their heads towards him, as well as Dirk, Terezi & the injured Slick, the Commander approached them.
« Generally, if people I didn't recognize came here, I would interrogate them. But I can say that, even if your arrival was very surprising, I speak for everyone when I say we're very grateful for your help. I'm Thomas Baker, the commander of this base. »
« Nice to meet you, responded the other Strider while him and the troll with the red glasses were helping Spades to walk, despite the fact that I don't even know if we were supposed to be here. It would be a total understatement to say that this day was, so far, full of surprises. Though, your base looks very rad. »
Baker, for one second, wanted to ask Dirk what « rad » meant but then, he reminded himself of something.
« Oh, right ! We need to find a way to contact Neutron and everyone on the ship, just to let them know the situation has been taken care of and, after that, maybe we can try to figure out what is happening- »
A noise interrupts him and when he turns around, he can see portals in the ground closing and the quartet having disappeared.
For some seconds, Baker and the employees near him stood here, completely dumbfounded at everything that just happened.
Yes, thought the Commander, full of surprises, you can say it.
Mission accomplished.
For all his career as a diplomat, Brian Shellback would have never thought that his life would take the path it took. Not only because of Earth-95' long and tragic history, but also because of all the work he had to do recently. In fact, the reason he was in the toilets of a bar, right now, typing a number on a cellphone, was because he had to call someone in order to report progress on his latest mission. A mission that went way more smoothly than he expected, even if because of circumstances no one could predict.
Placing the phone against his ear, Shellback waited. It didn't last long.
« Does the Black Moon howl ?, a male, elderly voice said on the other end.
« It can, the Impacts weren't enough to shoot her down, Brian responded.
« Mr. Shellback ! Very pleased to see that you managed to come out of this unscathed. »
The younger man chuckled.
« Oh, it wasn't that difficult. I admit, I wasn't sure it would work at 100%, but it turns out that when you cooperate and you also have connections to enough important people inside the British' government, it opens you a lot of possibilities. Almost all the leadership was killed or committed suicide, I just had to explain that I was working as a mole to gather evidences against them, talking about what it meant at large to show I wasn't bullshitting them, and it was bueno ! »
« But if the Avengers never arrived here, it would have took much longer. »
« Yeah. So, I'm grateful that they did what they did. Plus, if I don't have to see the face of that prick, Gendo, ever again… »
« Indeed. But, with all that being said, what you just told me about the leadership actually means they are down for the count, right ? »
« Yes. As I'm talking to you right now, SEELE is entirely gone and there's no chance they'll ever come back. »
« Excellent !, responded the old man. I'm sure the other members of the Council will be very pleased to hear this. It also means that I expect the List to update itself very soon. At last… »
Shellback put his free hand on his pockets. He felt some plastic. That's good, his mask was still here.
« Yeah, that's the thing I don't understand. Like, the Illuminati are in a point in the timeline that is way, way after the fall of the organization so why would they put them in here ? »
« Well… you know as well as the others that time is not something linear but something more akin to a big ball of yarn. There's also a lot of… holes in the narrative, due to several stories having not been completed yet and this one was among them until now. Our best bet is that, since we have evidences that the Illuminati are looking at the entire timeline instead of just the present, they are also running through those holes. And since this one just got filled, I don't doubt they managed to take notice and to change iiiiiiiiiiiiiit-well, it just did. »
Brian stood up.
« So, who is the newest threat, sir ? »
« I will tell you right now. So… interesting ! We have actually two new names : SEELE has been replaced by the Borg Collective as #61, but Mr. Burns has also been taken off the list and the new #99 is… it's the Scarlet King, now. »
When he heard this last name, the diplomat couldn't help but gulp a little. Since he was starting to update himself on what was going on, threats-wise, this one was among the first names he heard of. With him, it wasn't about if he was about to show up among the greatest threats to the Multiverse, but when. Now was the time.
« I see. What should I do, sir ? I know there's a lot going on here, but I also can't let my « normal » duties behind. »
« I need you to come back to the Citadel. At least, for some time. Don't worry about your traditional job, me and the others, we will see that with you. We have already asked a lot from you, it would be unfair to spread you too thin. »
Brian nodded on his end.
« Yes, sir. I will do so as soon as possible. »
« Good, son. I know the greater mission we have is difficult but, I promise you, all of this will be worth it. Soon, Prime' dream will be fulfilled. »
The younger man, still using his free hand, took his mask. His pig mask, more precisely.
« Even if we have to fight her to make it happen ? »
« Even if we have to fight her to make it happen, responded the Earth-1 Pighead.
...OK. Uh, is-is this thing on? Yeah? G-good.
Uh, hello, everyone! My name is Woolie, Woolie the Sheep. You probably know me as the second protagonist of famous TV show/video game series Amanda the Adventurer and since my appearance as a speaker in, uh, DreadXP' recent Indie Horror Showcase - that you can see a replay of on Horror Visuals' YouTube channel, a lot of very interesting announcements were made so check that out - Miss Pighead, uh, convinced me to take over the Author Note to do, well, more announcements!
She wants to start by apologizing, once again, for how much time it took for her to write this chapter and hopes you are satisfied with the final result, despite the big number of completely different things happening in it. Timeline-wise, she, uh, just gave me notes about that: the segment at the BTSO happens shortly after Chapter 3 of Tales of the Beyond, the one with Deep Cut happens after The Cybermen Conspiracy and the segment at the very end happens shortly after the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion and I, uh, think it's all-Jesus, I hope I'm saying all of this right, all of this is weird, even for me...
Ah, yes! For the future! I have also been entrusted to tell you that Ample Abnormal Affairs will actually resume, with a new story, a story that will use the Global Occult Coalition as its primary lore element. She, uh, struggled when it came to take main characters but she managed to actually choose them and she can guarantee you that such choice will surely surprise you! O-of course, all the projects that were teased last time, especially The Black Casebook, will come to fruition.
Though, the, uh, planned one-shot between Arrow and Doctor Who has, alas, actually been scrapped due to Jack Harkness' reappearance in Counterpart Conferences. But, uh, don't worry about it, the ideas she had about it can potentially be repurposed. You'll see! Finally, she also wants to announce that she has ideas for a potential future project. She will need to do research in order to be sure that everything is readily available but if it does, she will be able to announce it more formally. It will be, uh, an adaptation of a Walt Disney' comic-book storyline.
And that's all! So, once again, thank you for sticking here until the end and I, uh, will probably see you next time. Maybe. We'll see.
...is that everything? Yeah? Good. Anyway, like, anyone told you that you're less scary when you stop being all lanky and weird like that-
