Chapter 5: Distance
Atsushi stared at the girl scrubbing the dishes. She seemed to be staring off into space and that doesn't sit well with him. Being her friend, Atsushi wanted to find out what's been bothering the girl, so he turned off the stove and walked over to the dishwasher.
"Sakuno-chan, what's wrong?" he caught the girl's attention for a second, but she only shook her head.
"I'm fine, Atsushi-kun..." she said but that didn't convince the boy.
"No, you're not. Tell me what's wrong. I'm a great listener," he gave her an empathetic smile. Sakuno frowned. Her co-worker has been there for her when she's having difficulties with work and sometimes her studies. He would help her in any way he can. But Sakuno doubts that Atsushi could understand if she told him everything.
"I don't even understand it myself," she muttered under her breath. That day flashed in her mind like it was just yeasterday when in reality, it has been days ever since Ryoma turned cold to her, much colder than how he used to be. He avoided being alone with her, especially when Aunt Rinko was finally home. He would leave the house early, then go home late. His family had asked her if something happened between them since they never see Ryoma utter a single word to her. Sakuno could not tell them the truth. She had since thought deeply about what happened.
However, being a clueless girl who knew nothing about Ryoma, Sakuno never came to a conclusion.
But then she thought if she talked about it to Atsushi, maybe she can understand Ryoma from a guy's perspective. She was willing to dissect the incident if it meant Atsushi can explain the prince's attitude without a bias opinion.
"Well, Atsushi-kun. Can you give me some advice?" she asked the boy who smiled at her with confidence.
"Sure. Just tell me and I'll help you," he said. Then they occupied one of the empty tables as they began to talk about her woes. At the cashier, Mr. Arata watched the two talks with lazy eyes. He thought that they're the reason business wasn't booming.
"I think the reason he was mad at you was because of what you said, not about the rumors or about being in a fight over him," he concluded. Even though he has never met Ryoma, Atsushi can understand him better after hearing the story. So, she told him everything about Ryoma and the things that he did for her, especially the incident. Atsushi thought that it was a little harsh of Sakuno to blatantly deny her friendship with him.
"He must have been devastated to hear you deny him in front of others," he looked at the shocked Sakuno who was intently listening to his every word. "Anyway, that's my take. It's still better if you talk to him."
Sakuno sighed. So that's how it is. She did say those brutal things...
"B-But I think that I'm a bother to him for always taking care of me. How could he think of me as his friend?" she grasped her head in confusion. Is this how stupid she is? How could she not understand Ryoma?
"You know what, Sakuno-chan? That's your toxic trait. You judge him too easily. You're oblivious to the fact that you spoke carelessly in his expense. If he didn't want to do it, he won't. You told me his personality so I guess he's the kind of person who treasures his friends even though he may act the opposite. He wouldn't be like that to you if he didn't care. You have to respect his emotions and wait for him to tell you how he feels. After all, he's not a robot like how people perceive him to be. So, as his friend, you shouldn't view him as an emotionless guy because he does get hurt, too," Atsushi flashed a gentle smile.
Sakuno stared at the guy as if he was buddha. It didn't dawn on her that she was basically jumping to conclusions about Ryoma. She was to blame for the misunderstanding, and she needed to make things right with him.
"T-Thank you so much, Atsushi-kun! I understand! I will tell him everything right now!" she was about to run out, but Mr. Arata blocked her way.
"Shift's not over, Sakuno-chan," he said with a hint of annoyance.
"O-Oh, that's right. I'm so sorry, Mr. Arata!" she ran back to the kitchen and resumed washing the dishes. The old man just shook his head by the girl's clumsiness. He looked over to the smiling Atsushi and gestured for him to get back to the kitchen. The boy scrambled away.
He spotted the girl leaving the restaurant with her co-worker. For months, Ryoma sees to it that he walks the girl home in secret. Tomoka was aware of this and the two kept it between them since Sakuno didn't want anybody else to know that she's been working. And when the co-worker started to accompany her home, Ryoma felt no need to continue doing this any longer. It's a relief, right?
But somehow, his legs would move on its own and he finds himself still waiting outside for her shift to be over.
After school, Tomoka would sneak into the tennis courts and inform Ryoma of the girl's schedule. Then, the boy would go home, change, then he will head to the restaurant until nighttime.
But then, flashbacks from that incident crept into Ryoma's mind. Strangely, Sakuno's words were like daggers on his chest. He admits to himself that everyone from the tennis club, including Sakuno and her friend, has already been his friends long ago and it made him sad that he would not be seeing them after graduation. It made him ever sadder to find out that one of his 'friends' had not only denied him once, but twice behind his back. It bothered him a lot since then.
It made Ryoma feel sick in his stomach.
He looked down and walked to the opposite direction from home. December has never been despicable.
That night, knowing that Ryoma would always go home late, Sakuno made sure that she would wait for him and to finally talk to him. Her eyes almost closed due to sleepiness but she was determined to see him tonight. Just before midnight, Sakuno heard footsteps on the stairs. It was a familiar sound, she thought.
"Ryoma-kun..." she walked over to the door to listen intently. He entered his room and shut the door. Now all she needed to do was knock and ask if they could talk for a moment. Sakuno nodded to herself and took a deep breath.
Here goes...
She knocked three times, but no one answered. Maybe he fell asleep already? She tried again and this time the doorknob turned, and the door opened. Sakuno looked at Ryoma, his height covered the lights that shone from his room. Sakuno almost cried. She missed him so much that she wanted to hug him and tell him that everything's her fault.
"R-Ryoma-kun, can we t-talk?" she's having a hard time organizing her thoughts. Suddenly, the lines that she rehearsed were all scrambled her brain and she had no control of the conversation.
Ryoma held the door as his body was still blocking Sakuno. He was in no mood to talk to her, much less see her.
"What?" he finally spoke. Shiver ran down Sakuno's body when he heard him. It was colder than the snow outside and it made her legs feel stiff, she couldn't move. Realizing that Ryoma probably doesn't want her to come in, Sakuno stepped back. But it didn't faze her. She needed to talk to him.
"W-Well, I..." she stammered, and her mind suddenly blacked out. She didn't know how to go on. She was too scared of what Ryoma might say.
He sighed.
"Ryuzaki, I need to get up early. Do you mind?" he let her down easy, but he still wanted to hurt her. That was the most he could do. After all, he was getting tired of this one-sided conversation between them. It was barely even a conversation.
Sakuno stared at him. There was no budging his cold demeanor. He was as cold as ice. Sakuno had no place there. Maybe she was right. Maybe Ryoma doesn't see her as a friend. And maybe she should just give up. Any more of this would break her heart into pieces. She looked down and clenched her heart.
"I-I see... goodnight," she watched her feet as the door closed and darkness took over the empty hallway of the second floor.
It was the first time Ryoma got mad at her and it was far different than the times he got angry when Akutsu hurt him and the tennis members. It was scarier and colder, she thought.
She never knew it hurt this much to be shut out.
Returning to her bedroom, Sakuno leaned on the door until she heard it click. There was emptiness in her mind. On top of her desk rested a blue box with a card on it. Sakuno stared at it for a long time as her plans for the prince's birthday broke like pieces of glass. A tear fell down on her cheek. She slid down on the cold floor and hugged her knees as she started to sob. It was her fault, and she knows it. No matter how hurt she is, she needed to apologize to him even if he didn't want to look at her anymore.
Morning came and Sakuno didn't get a single wink of sleep. She stared at her alarm clock as it ticked. It read six in the morning.
"December twenty-four," she muttered as she tried her best to get up from her bed. She was exhausted from crying all night and her eyes looked like a panda's. Sakuno touched the present she intended to give to him today. Even if he doesn't want to spend his birthday with her, Sakuno wants him to have it as a sign of gratitude and... her love for him.
Tomoka looked over her shoulder and saw Sakuno's troubled face. She seemed to move further and further away from her seatmate, Ryoma. He, on the other hand, looked more stoic than his usual self. The two drew a great distance from each other and it caught Tomoka's attention. She has been feeling off about it for a few days now and she needs to find out why.
After class, Sakuno was tasked to bring all the math notebooks to the teacher's office, so she went out. Tomoka used that opportunity to go and confront Ryoma.
She sat on Sakuno's table and startled the boy with the creak of the wooden furniture. Ryoma abruptly looked to her direction. He thought it was Sakuno, but it was just the loud friend he would occasionally interact with.
"What is it?" he stared at the girl's intriguing eyes. She didn't seem happy today and the boy could not care less. For all he knows, she would only inform him of Sakuno's latest schedule and whatnot. So, before Tomoka could speak, Ryoma laid his head back on his folded arms and exhaled.
"I don't care anymore. I'm not going to the restaurant again," he waved his hand to Tomoka and yawned. Ever since that night, Ryoma swore to himself that it will be the last time he will watch over her since his co-worker made it a habit to walk her home every day. So, he relieved himself of the duty. It's not like he needed to do it or anything.
"That's not what I was going to say, Ryoma-sama. Did something happen with you and Sakuno? I've been observing both of you and I sense that something is up," she put her hand on her chin as if thinking hard about the possible reason of their fallout. The boy shrugged in his seat.
"Dunno," he muttered and went to sleep. Since Tomoka couldn't do anything to force an answer out of the prince, she waited for Sakuno to return. She would definitely spill the beans. She's her best friend!
After dropping the notebooks in Ms. Takahashi's office, Sakuno walked back to the room. And when she saw Tomoka standing by the door with a frown, she knew the girl knows something about the incident and she's going to sit her down for a long explanation.
Sakuno dreaded this day. Not only because she would get an earful from Tomoka for offending the boy, and also because Ryoma has been distant from her for days.
She missed him, but it would be better to stay away from him. Sakuno knew how much Ryoma loves his quiet life and if staying away from him would stop those bullies from bothering them, then she will sacrifice her own happiness.
"Tell me, what happened between you two? Why is Ryoma-sama mad at you? Don't lie to me because I know the difference between his usual smug face from his angry face," Tomoka placed her hands on her hips and towered over a sitting Sakuno. They were at the rooftop that time, and her best friend insisted on getting to the bottom of this.
"W-Well, it was my fault, Tomo-chan... it was a misunderstanding," she confessed. Sakuno nervously admitted what she had said to those fangirls and the part where Ryoma overheard all of it.
"I said all those things for them to leave me alone but, there was a part of me that thought maybe I'm right. Maybe we're not in a friendship state and it was only me who assumed we were. What's worse, I ruined Ryoma-kun's peaceful life. That's why even if he avoids me, I won't force myself to him. Consider it my atonement," she closed her eyes.
The truth is, she kind of hoped that there was more to them than classmates and housemates. She loved him, damn it. Who wouldn't dream of being with him, or maybe even be his constant in everything. But reality is harsh for Sakuno. As long as she's in Ryoma's life, there will be chaos.
"Sakuno, you don't really know Ryoma-sama. He cares about you more than you think," Tomoka contemplated if she should tell her but who cares anymore? Their relationship is a mess. Ryoma refuses to talk, and Sakuno is giving up. It's up to her to fix her ship!
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone but..." she hesitated for a moment, but continued, "he's been walking you home every night." Tomoka knew she promised Ryoma not to say anything to her, but Sakuno's well-being is more important than her fear from him.
"He knows about your part time job," Tomoka sighed. It was a great relief that she was finally able to let out such an important secret. "He doesn't want you to know that he knows. So there. Kind of romantic, right?" Tomoka giggled at the thought that her best friend was oblivious to the fact that the prince actually looked out for her all this time.
"What?" Sakuno couldn't believe her ears. Ryoma did that? How come she didn't notice? Is that why he's always going home late? To make sure she doesn't see him? He was worried about her? And he knew all along that she has been working but never told others about it.
Sakuno was confused. The feeling of happiness over finding out, and the feeling of guilt mixed in her heart.
"Tomo-chan... I didn't know..." Sakuno felt immense guilt over herself. How could she doubt Ryoma when from the start, he had treated her as a friend. She was the one who never let herself think that.
Now that she thought about it, ever since grandmother died, the family has been taking care of him. She remembered the time Ryoma would wait for her to go home together without saying anything, and that time when he got mad at her for overworking herself with housechores. The time where he brewed tea for her even though it wasn't very good, and the awful vegetable curry that he cooked.
Sakuno felt immense guilt wash over her as he realized how a good person Ryoma has matured into.
She wiped her tears then stood up.
"I need to apologize to him even if it kills me, even if he pushes me away," she said with determination.
"That's right, Sakuno-chan. Now go and make up with him," Tomoka smiled. Sakuno saw her best friend like a shining saint. If it wasn't for her, she would have lived her life being ignorant of Ryoma's feelings.
When they returned to the classroom, only a few students remained, and Ryoma's desk was empty.
"Did he go home already?" Tomoka wondered.
"I-I don't know..." Sakuno said. She wanted to find him and talk to him, even if he runs away, Sakuno would follow him if it means reconciling with him. She couldn't bear to be away from him anymore.
"T-Tomo-chan, I'll go find him," she ran out of the classroom, leaving a surprised Tomoka behind. She leaned by the window and watched Sakuno exit the school grounds.
"Yes!" she whispered excitedly. Being a cupid is not bad, not bad at all.
While Sakuno and Tomoka was nowhere in sight, Ryoma shoved his books in his bag and decided to head home first. Since he no longer intends to go to the restaurant tonight, he might as well sleep at home. Sakuno would probably be out until dinner time, he thought.
The house was empty. Nanako was still at work, and his parents might have gone on a date again, like any other day. Ryoma walked straight to his bedroom and finally got to drop his heavy bag. He rotated his aching shoulders but noticed an object by his desk that reflected the sunrays coming through his window.
Ryoma eyed the object curiously. It was a small, shiny one. He was aware that it was his birthday today but didn't expect that someone would leave him a present.
"What's this?" he arched his eyebrows.
As he picked up the box, a card fell on the floor. Ryoma looked into it and read the letter.
Happy birthday, Ryoma-kun.
-Sakuno.
PS. Listen to it when you study.
He chuckled. The girl would always give him things that never really interested him. But oddly enough, he would keep all of it as if it was some treasure.
As he inserted the CD into his player, Ryoma wore his earphones and hit play.
As relaxing music began to serenade his ears, he closed his eyes and felt the breeze that the cold December brought. Even though it was snowing outside, Ryoma imagined standing beneath a bed of leaves. It felt like autumn. As the path going to their house came into view, he saw a girl standing by the porch, smiling at him. As he began to take a step towards her, Ryoma realized that it was Sakuno. It brought a smile on his face. She was a good view from where he was standing. As he continued to come near her, she calls out to him.
"Ryoma-kun," she said.
It pulled him out of his reverie. Ryoma opened his eyes and spun his chair around to see Sakuno standing by his door, panting. She had trickles of sweat running down her face, but she didn't care to wipe them off.
He stared at her as the music continued to play in his ear. Surprisingly, he felt lighter. This was the first time he looked at her for days with nothing but gladness. It felt like he hadn't seen her for so long and it was a weird feeling. He was surprised at himself for being a little miserable without the girl's presence ever since he distanced himself from her.
"How much did you even spend on this?" he examined the blue box that the CD came with. Sakuno was taken by surprise that she couldn't remember how much it costs.
"I-Um... I don't know..." she cursed herself for being at a loss for words whenever the prince was in front of her. She knew she looked stupid right now; it even made him snicker.
"But why a CD?" he asked.
"U-Um, I just happen to see you one night when you were studying and there was music playing, so..." her voice faded out. What was she rambling about? She was about to apologize, right? That's what she came here for, to tell him how she feels, and to clear up the misunderstanding between them.
But the boy stood up and walked towards her. He placed the other earphone to her ear and let her listen to the same track.
Sakuno blushed at his sudden action, but the piano had calmed down her nerves as they both stood there, the feeling of autumn surrounding them. She couldn't help but stare up at him, and she was captivated by Ryoma's eyes who were looking back at her as well. She admired every part of his face. His eyelashes were long, a faint shade of red graced his cheeks, and his lips were slightly parted. They were in close proximity with each other that only an inch of distance remained. Strangely, she could hear her own heartbeat even though the music was loud.
As Ryoma took a long look at her face, he felt a warm, fuzzy feeling within him. He had never stood this close to any other girl except Sakuno. Her georgous eyes, as he would describe it-stared at him, slightly shaking, hesitation was evident. Her lips pursed, as if restraining words to come out of it. As usual, her cheeks were the color of tomato, increasingly redder as their staring contest went on.
Now, that he got a good look at her, Ryoma actually thought that the girl looked... attractive.
Just then, they heard the front door open, and due to panic, Ryoma suddenly pulled out the earphone from Sakuno's ear. She winced at the sudden pain but they both backed away from each other as they heard Rinko and Nanjirou laughing downstairs.
Sakuno quickly stepped out of Ryoma's room with her red face and ran away. The boy couldn't hide the red tint on his cheeks that afternoon.
To be continued.
