Chapter 9 – I'm Sorry

When Daryl stops yelling, I break my attention from the hand and turn it to him.

Sure, as shit, like the original, he breathes heavy for a second before the next and he'd spun around to shoot T-Dog with his crossbow with a yell.

Rick hot on the draw immediately has his gun to his head.

Like Shane those reflexes were something else. God damn.

"I won't hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it." Rick warns, cocking the gun while holding a hand out to me to stay put.

Daryl flicks his eyes to me then back at T-Dog so fast that I had to have imagined it before he slowly lowers the crossbow.

"You got a do-rag or something?" Daryl asks T-Dog then as Rick lowers both his gun and hand.

T-Dog hands one to Daryl so Daryl puts his crossbow down and goes over to it.

Daryl released a sigh as he crouches down before laying the rag on the ground saying "I guess the saw blade was too dull of the handcuffs."

"It was in Saw too." I can't help but mutter then earning a warning "Cat." from Rick.

"Rick." I counter keeping my attention on Daryl as he grumbles "Ain't that a bitch." While wrapping the hand up.

Daryl then stands with it adding "He must have used a tourniquet, maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't'." while going over behind Glenn and shoving it in his bag with Glenn instantly getting an 'aw man' look on his face.

Sorry Glenn but I don't want it either.

Daryl then looks back over at the handcuffs before he grabs his crossbow and starts heading to the door to the other building. Probably just now noticing the blood trail.

Rick, Glenn, and I follow after him as T-Dog stays behind a moment to collect the tools.

"Merle! You in here?" Daryl calls out when he opens the door to the stairwell.

Getting no response, we start heading down, Daryl quickly getting a few feet ahead of us.

Shit I didn't think of how to keep them from noticing what I did yet. I'm screwed.

"You came through here didn't you." Glenn whispers to me then as we leave the stairwell and get into the offices area; T-Dog rejoining us and Daryl still ahead and already checking the offices for any sign of Merle.

"Yeah." I answer in a whisper, glancing at Rick to see if he heard or noticed.

Luckily Rick was just watching Daryl so I turn my attention back to Daryl in time to see him get to the walker office and stop in front of it, just looking inside with a face that clearly said 'Merle didn't do this'.

"What did you do?" Glenn whispers then when Rick goes over and stops when he looks inside too; the same look coming over his face.

"You'll see." I breathe out resigning to my fate as I join the two, the other two following.

"What in the world?" T-Dog whispers when we get there and look inside.

The scene in front of me still looked ridiculous if not more so. The gutted walker was still on the ground with a trash can over its head but the scissors were gone and there were now some blood spots on the trash can almost like eyes and some leading to it. Merle probably came and took the scissors with him when he came by. Thus, it was now just a gutted walker with a trash can, that seemed to have dot eyes, over its head. It didn't look like Merle'd taken anything that was left from the walker guts though. Guess it didn't cross his survival mode brain to do that.

"It's like something from a video game." Glenn whispers then.

"Huh." I breathe out before quietly muttering "It is."

Being reminded of a few instances in some zombie games that didn't exist in this world where a bucket was on, over, or was something's head. Guess that's where I got the idea even if a trash can wasn't a bucket. Wait…I just said that out loud. Shit.

"Cat." Rick quietly sighs out then so I look at him and hum, tilting my head to the side trying to seem as innocent as possible.

Maybe he hasn't figured it out yet?

"You're lucky your convoluted plan to take one down safely worked." Rick says while looking at me after a moment with no other response from me, his face now like that of a tired dad.

Never mind he got to the conclusion that it was me pretty fast. Damn cop brain. Hold on…that is not the reaction of just finding out that your friend, practically sister, snuck off on her own in the middle of all this shit and in danger city.

"Hold up. You're saying she did this? Not Merle?" T-Dog says then, tone obviously saying he thought Rick was crazy, as I narrow my eyes at Rick.

"Merle was here but this wasn't him." Daryl grumbles in response to that as Rick just gives me a look that said 'Did you really think I wouldn't find out?'

I huff and look away from him and back at the walker, he wasn't going to ring me out right now but I was so screwed when we get back. Wait…if he knew…Shane probably already knew too. Man, I was so not going to have any time out of his sight when we got back. But why didn't either of them say anything about it yet? They both also let me come on this mission knowing I snuck off on my own the last time. What's up with that?

That's when Daryl goes over to the walker, crouches down, and feels the spot the scissors had been in with a grumbled "Judging by the trail, he probably just took whatever she used to actually kill it." Before looking at me with a questioned "Right?" while motioning to the gutted body of the walker.

I nod in response while sliding my eyes over to Rick who just releases a tired dad sigh.

I'd left behind a weapon. Even if it was just scissors. More for him to yell at me about when he does.

"So, Merle didn't use any of the guts?" Glenn asks then.

"No. That part of it is still the same. Guess it didn't cross his survival mode brain to do that." I answer with my thoughts flicking my eyes back over to the walker and subsequently Daryl.

With that Daryl was up and storming past us to keep going without another word.

We all quickly follow him and soon come up to the two walkers that I'd just walked past both on the ground, re-killed, with one with their head bashed in with a bloody wrench on the ground next to it and the other with the scissors stuck in one of its eyes.

Merle still took them both down like in the original but this time didn't have to bash both their heads in. I hope that didn't screw up anything. But he did still abandon his weapons, the blood loss was probably starting to get to him here too like in the original.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sumbitches. One handed. Toughest asshole I've ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer, he'd crap out nails." Daryl says then.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is." Rick tells him, bursting his bubble.

"So, we find him before that happens." I mutter before I can stop myself causing Daryl to keep going without another word again, though this time quicker.

We all quickly follow after him.

We probably won't find Merle like the original. He was probably already long gone. Maybe even already with the Woodbury group. Though I don't remember if it said when he joined them exactly. Woodbury was in season three and on. Unlike season one and two that I watched a good number of times, so much that I could remember some side characters names, I'd only seen a few episodes from season three either a few times or just once. After that I only know some major plot points afterwards. Glenn's brutal death being one of them.

"Merle!" Daryl yells as soon as we were in the doorway to the kitchen breaking me from that thought.

"We're not alone here. Remember?" Rick whispers harshly.

"Screw that." Daryl scoffs walking into the kitchen continuing "He could be bleeding out. You said so yourself."

"Shh." T-Dog shushes then, almost louder than Daryl's yell, like an idiot as we turn the corner then to see that scene causing us all to freeze.

The travel stoves still burning, Merle's belt, bloody rag, that metal thing with burnt flesh and blood stuck to it, and blood over almost everything. Again, with the disturbing in person shit. Maybe I found these scenes disturbing because when they happen, they become real…not just something that happened on a screen. But the whole incident with the walker wasn't like that. Maybe because the ridiculousness of it trumped the disturbing.

"What's that burned stuff?" Glenn asks when Rick goes over and picks up the metal thing.

"Skin." Rick answers looking at it before at Glenn continuing "He cauterized the stump."

"Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle." Daryl says then.

Who is Merle? Aomine?

"Don't take that on faith. He's lost a lot of blood." Rick tells him then while looking at him.

"Yeah?" Daryl questions while looking away heading over to the broken window, leaning over, and sticking his head out it adding "Didn't stop him from busting out of this death trap."

"He left the building?" Glenn asks as we go over as well before adding "Why the hell would he do that?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Daryl scoffs standing back up and looking right at Rick, as Rick leans over and looks out the window himself, adding "He's out there alone as far as he knows, doing what he's got to do. Surviving."

"You call that surviving? Just wandering out in the streets, maybe passing out? What are his odds out there?" T-Dog asks, his tone not nice as Rick stands back up.

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you sorry pricks." Daryl snaps before getting in Ricks face adding "You couldn't kill him. Ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard."

"What about 1000 dumb dead bastards? Different story?" Rick counters, not gently.

Just like the original Rick was not holding back.

"Why don't you take a tally? Do what you want. I'm gonna go get him." Daryl snaps then starting to walk away but just like the original Rick pushes him back saying "Daryl, wait."

"Get your hands off me! You can't stop me." Daryl yells at him getting back in his face as Glenn looks at me slightly panicked.

"I don't blame you." Rick tells Daryl as I motion with my hand for Glenn to relax.

Daryl pauses, listening, while Glenn relaxes a little himself so Rick continues "He's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine. I know exactly how you feel. But one of mine is here and Merle can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but only if we keep a level head."

Daryl swallows hard sending a quick look my way before back at Rick and calmly saying "I could do that."

Rick nods with a 'good' look on his face while Glenn looks at me surprised that that worked.

"Only if we get those guns first. I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?" T-Dog says then as I just give Glenn a shrug.

Daryl calmed down in the original so why wouldn't he now? Especially when Rick added that one of his family that he worked so hard to find was here too. Daryl may be an asshole but he wasn't a hundred percent dick.

Rick then looks at Glenn then me as he asked "Any plan you two?"
Oh so that's why he let me come. If I help with the plan maybe Glenn will be safe the whole time and not get kidnapped at all.

I look at Glenn then at the same time he was looking at me.

We grin at each other before saying "We can make one."

****Time skip****

"You're not doing this yourselves." Rick says after Glenn explained the plan with demonstration and all with the drawing of the buildings and the collection of things that represent us and the bag of guns on the ground.

After some explaining from Glenn about where everything was, since I wasn't supposed to know where the tank or bag of guns were and me saying my piece about us needing to be careful because we might not be the only one after them, we'd come up with…well, since I gave minimal input, it was more like he came up with a similar plan to the original. Only difference is that I'd go with him to get the bag. I really didn't want to sprint again today but if it kept Glenn safe, I'll deal with the consequences.

"Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't even like one of you much." Daryl says then causing me to look at him with an eyebrow raised in question to see him simply looking at the ground at the plan.

One of you? So, he did like one of us? Was he and Glenn more acquainted in this reality right now than in the original?

"It's a good idea, okay. If you just hear us out." Glenn says so I look back over at him as Rick crouches down next to him.

"If we go out there in a group, we're slow, drawing attention. If it's me and Cat only, we can move fast. Look." Glenn starts to explain again while placing the large clip in the street before adding "That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now."

I then place the wadded-up sticky note back in front of it to indicate the bag with Glenn saying "That's the bag of guns."

Glenn points to an alley he adds "Here's the ally I dragged you into when we first met. That's were Cat, Daryl, and I will go."

"Why me?" Daryl asks.

"Your crossbow is quieter than his gun." Glenn answers while pointing at Rick.

I place the sticky notes in the alley and follow the route we will go with my finger as I explain "While Daryl waits here in the alley, Glenn and I run up the street, grab the bag, and come back."

"You got us elsewhere?" Rick asks then.

Where the hell was his cop smarts now?

I nod with a sigh while Glenn puts the eraser back in the other alley and says "You and T-Dog, right. You'll be in this alley here."

"Two blocks away? Why?" Rick questions causing me to sigh before looking at him and explaining "We may not be able to come back the same way, Rick. Walkers or something else might cut us off. If that happens, we won't go back to Daryl. We'll go forward, where you are. Whichever direction we go, we have someone to cover us. Afterwards, we'll all meet back here."

"Hell, Cat or I could do it alone but it's too dangerous. Someone else could be after that bag." Glenn adds then causing Rick to nod with a 'yeah' look.

Huh. So that fact did stick. We might be just fine.

"Hey, kid, what'd you do before all this?" Daryl asks that question then.

"I delivered pizzas." Glenn answers before asking "Why?" in a clearly confused tone.

Aw, my little cinnamon roll he's asking how the hell you made such a detailed plan.

But like the original Glenn doesn't get a verbal response to his question as Rick just nods with that 'alright then' look.

****Time Skip****

Glenn's the first down the ladder into the alley followed by me then Daryl. We stop between the dumpsters as that small group of walkers pass by the entrance to the alley in the street.

"You got some balls for a Chinaman." Daryl says that line as he readies his crossbow.

"I'm Korean" Genn says annoyed looking at me with a face that screamed 'why didn't he say anything about you?'

"Whatever." Daryl scoffs at him.

"Korean?" I ask then looking at Glenn with a smirk before clapping a hand on his shoulder saying "You my friend are a cinnamon roll."

Glenn gasps in mock offense, hand on his heart and all, before grinning and saying "You my friend are a tsundere."

"I never should've taught you that word." I grumble taking my hand off from him like it was burned.

Glenn then gets a 'victory' look on his face so I roll my eyes at him and motion back to the entrance to the alley where the walkers no longer were.

He nods so the two of us go over and pause at the fence gate dividing the alley from the street.

Glenn looks out both ways into the street before back at me and nods, meaning it was all clear.

I nod back so the two of us take off down the street, leaving Daryl to wait for us alone.

Some walkers notice us as we go but don't quite follow after us just yet. We soon make it to the tank and Glenn grabs the bag just as a quiet "Ayudame!" rings through the air from the distance.

I whip my head in the direction it came from, where we just came from.

The vatos?

"What is it?" Glenn whispers then.

"Time to go." I mutter turning my attention back to him and motioning to Rick's hat.

Glenn nods and grabs that too before handing it to me and with a whispered "Which way?" as there is some more quiet yelling of "Ayudame!"

Damn it.

"They have friends if they're calling for help." I huff out.

"Well, we can't just let Daryl deal with it alone." Glenn says then before taking off.

"Damn it, Glenn!" I exclaim chasing after him.

That wasn't the plan! This sucks!

We get back to the entrance to the alley and instantly one of the two larger vatos that were in fact beating a downed Daryl exclaims "That's it. That's the bag, Vato. Take it! Take it!"

"Go! Go! Go!" I exclaim pushing Glenn to go as the two larger vatos abandon beating Daryl and run at us for the bag.

But Glenn doesn't even get a step before they're on us.

Glenn is pushed to the ground by one as the other just grabs my arm with a warned "No running, chica."

"Get off!" Glenn yells from the ground then before the Vato in front of me cries out in pain and releases me while reaching for his butt.

Meaning this one had to be Felipe, that Daryl had gotten the shot off, and it hit Felipe in the ass. Putting a new meaning into butt hurt.

"Get off me!" Glenn yells then so I snap my attention to him to see him getting pulled up to be used as a hostage by the other one.

The bag forgotten on the ground by the other Vato like the original.

That's when the car pulls up behind us on the street. One immediately gets out and smashes the head of a walker getting a little too close to our scuffle just as Felipe grabs my arm again, harsher this time, and forces me in front of him as a shield.

I hiss in pain while dropping the hat and instinctively try to get my arm free both by trying to pull it away and trying to pry his hand off with my free hand.

"Sorry, chica. You're coming with us too." Felipe whispers as he starts pulling me back to the car as Glenn yells "Daryl!" meaning he was getting taken too and probably getting shoved in the car.

I snap my attention to Daryl then seeing him in fact aiming his crossbow again like the original and exclaim "Don't you fucking make this any worse!" before getting quickly shoved into the car myself.

Felipe is in the car and it is already driving off even before the door shuts as Daryl yells "Come back here! You, sumbitches!"

That's when a bag is shoved over my head with a "Just stay quiet, chica." From Felipe as the other tells Glenn "Just stay quiet, chico."

Well shit. Not only did Glenn still get kidnapped so did I. Least it did seem that these were the original vatos.

****Time Skip****

"Hey! Let us go!" Glenn yells as we're taken out of the car and forced to start walking.

"Who're these people? Where's Miguel? And why do you have an arrow in your ass, Felipe?" a familiar male voice asks then, probably Guillermo.

"Them and their buddies attacked us." The vato that was with Felipe answers, clearly angry.

"Hey! You're the one who attacked us first!" Glenn shouts like an idiot.
"Enough." Guillermo orders before the bag is taken off my head while he says "Who attack who doesn't matter." Before repeating the question "Where's Miguel?"

"We don't want any trouble. We just came here to look for a missing member of our group and to get the bag another dropped when they got to town. That's all." Glenn tries then as I blink, my eyes hurting from the sudden change of light.

"That's what you say, but does your group feel the same way now that we have you two? I assume they have Miguel." Guillermo questions then, as I finally look at Glenn to see how he was.

"I-I uh…I don't know." Glenn hesitantly says honestly while deflating a little like the too good person he was.

"Question." I say then, my tone slightly annoyed as I looked at Guillermo, causing Guillermo to look at me, an amused look coming on his face.

"You guys come across a big guy, redneck, missing a hand?" I ask sliding my eyes around at the different faces of the guys in front of me; looking if Merle was possibly here this time.

I doubted it but who knows.

"Sorry, chica. We're fresh out of white boys." Guillermo tells me as soon as my eyes land back on him, finding no Merle in the crowd, before his face turns back to serous as he adds "Are your people going to come for you two?"

"Yes." Glenn and I answer with Glenn now stepping in front of me protectively before I have to cover my mouth with a hand as I yawn.

The events of today were starting to catch up to me and yet it wasn't even over. There was still the roof threatening, the long jog back to camp, and the walker attack when we got there. All events that will suck.

Guillermo sighs then before there's the crackle from a radio and a male voice from it saying "They're here G."

"Take them to the roof." Guillermo orders then and instantly Glenn and I are grabbed, a piece of duct tape shoved over our mouths, and the bags shoved back over our heads as they lead us away.

Soon we come to a stop just before Guillermo yells an "Oye!" and the bag is ripped off my head and I blink again, at the sudden change of the light, before realizing that they had me at the fucking edge of the building!

I try stepping back, fear flooding my system, but I'm securely kept there.

What the fuck?! Was it that close in the original?! Even if they didn't push or drop Glenn off in the original what if they dropped or pushed me?! I already had a fear of heights god damn it! This really sucks!

As Glenn whimpers beside me I tear my eyes away from the ground under my feet and turn them to were Rick, Daryl, Miguel, Guillermo, Felipe, and the other vato that took us where standing, begging Rick and Daryl not to do anything that would cause them to drop or push me, or Glenn, but mainly me off the roof.

If I was going to die, I wanted it to be on my own terms god damn it!

But that's when Guillermo motions to take us back and the bags are shoved over our heads again before getting pulled back.

I just close my eyes, trying to calm down as I obediently let them lead me somewhere.

Soon we stop again and the bag is yet again removed from my head and the tape is ripped off my mouth as one of the vatos orders "Don't try anything."

"Ow." Glenn mutters next to me before hearing an elderly, heavily accented, and familiar woman's voice say "Oh dear. You two look like something the gato dragged in."

I open my eyes then to see a familiar looking old woman, Felipe's grandmother, approaching us, worried grandmother face and all.

"What are you doing to them? Huh?" She scolds one of the vatos with us while poking him in the chest before suddenly turning, grabbing me and Glenn by the arm, and dragging us with her with a "It's okay. Come with Nina Abuela."

Before we could process what was happening, she'd led us to where the other elders were, plopped us into chairs at one of the tables, and with a "Good, good. Don't worry dears. You can stay as long as you like. I'll give a good talking to to those boys who were so rough with you. You're good kids."

She then fast shuffles back the direction we came from calling "Que verjuenza! Los asustaste casi hasta la Muerte!"

Is this how Glenn ended up here in the original too? Probably. Felipe's grandmother was a force to be reckoned with.

"What's going on? Who are all these old people?" Glenn whispers then looking around then, bewilderment on his face.

"This is a retirement home." I say looking around myself, sure as shit seeing the retirement home gymnasium from the original, three small chihuahuas and all.

****Time skip****

I just keep my head in my arms on the table just watching, too tired now to do anything but fight falling asleep, as Glenn hurried over to help Mr. Gilbert when his asthma attack started.

"Where is it?" one of the vatos, that must be Carlito, questions searching in a wheeling cart frantically while the elders huddled around them.

In the next moment Abuela is fast shuffled off to get Felipe.

Soon she returns with a limping Felipe who goes right to the cart, finds the inhaler, and is helping Mr. Gilbert the next moment.

This place so wouldn't be here if he and Guillermo hadn't stayed.

"What the hell is this?" Rick questions then as him, T-Dog, Daryl, and Guillermo join the crowd next to Glenn.

The story was in fact on track so Glenn should be showing his nature in just a moment.

"An asthma attack. Couldn't get his breath all of a sudden." Glenn answers slowly stepping back from Mr. Gilbert and Felipe.

There it is.

"I thought you two were being eaten by dogs, man." T-Dog complains causing Glenn to slowly look over to the chihuahuas causing one of them to bark.

"Could I have a world with you?" Rick asks then, cop voice on, before leading Guillermo over to where I was.

"You're the dumbest son of a bitch I ever met. We walked in there ready to kill every last one of you." Rick practically scolds Guillermo like he was talking to a kid that just stole something.

Guillermo nods and simply tells him "Well, I'm glad it didn't go down that way."

"If it had, that blood would be on my hands." Rick tells him.

"Mine too." Guillermo responds before explaining "We'd have fought back. Wouldn't be the first time we've had to. Protect the food, the medicine…what's left of it. These people, the old ones…the staff took off, just left 'em here to die."

Rick looks around then so Guillermo adds "Me and Felipe were the only ones who stayed."

"What are you, doctors?" Rick asks sending a questioning look my way.

I shake my head no as Guillermo explains "Felipe's a nurse-a special care provider. Me, I'm the custodian." Before motioning to follow him.

Rick sends another look my way so I nod while slowly getting up with a yawn.

Rick then nods at Guillermo and motions for us to follow them.

We do so and stop in an empty room.

"What about the rest of your crew?" Rick questions then as I lean against the wall, between Glenn and Daryl.

"The vatos trickle in to check on their parents, their grandparents. They see how things are and most decide to stay. It's a good thing too. We need the muscle. The people we've encountered since things fell apart, the worst kind, plunderers, the kind that take by force." Guillermo explains looking us all over.

"That's not who we are." Rick states.

"How were we to know? My people got attached and you show up with Miguel hostage…appearances." Guillermo tells him.

"Guess the world changed." T-Dog says, a slightly depressed tone in his voice.

"No. It's the same as it ever was. The weak get taken. So, we do what we can here. The Vatos work on those cars, talk about getting the old people out of the city. But most can't even get to the bathroom by themselves, still, it keeps the crew busy, and that's worth something. So, we barred all the windows, welded all the doors shut except for one entrance. The Vatos, they go out, scavenge what they can to keep us going. We watch the perimeter night and day and we wait. The people here, they all look to me now. I don't even know why." Guillermo tells us, his voice clearly saying this was the first time he was putting these feelings into words.

Just like the original this man was just a good person trying to survive while protecting his people.

"Because they can." Rick tells him before handing his shotgun over to Guillermo.

"You sure?" Guillermo questions, his tone almost like a lost child.

"Never been more sure of anything in my life." Rick tells him starting to add guns and ammo from the bag onto the desk Guillermo was sitting on the edge of.

I release a quiet, tired, sigh then, focusing on the growing pile thinking about what I should do, waiting for Rick to finish giving half the guns away.

Should I warn these people? After the CDC blows the group stops here and finds everyone killed in a deleted scene. And that even if it was a deleted scene it was confirmed to still have happened. How would I even do so if I did? I don't even know who kills them or when exactly they die between now and then. All I know is that it's not from walkers but from people. What would happen if I did? If these people survived that encounter that truly kills everyone, would it change things for the worse? What if they survive and one of the elders, die, turns, and turns everyone here? Everyone is infected. Everyone who dies turns unless the brain is destroyed. That would be that many more walkers wandering about…endangering…everyone. Would it be better to just let it go like the original? So far things have been proceeding close to the original with only minor changes, nothing major like life or death, and those I care about are safe…for now.

Guess better safe than sorry and stick to the original. Sorry vatos, your death is already written. I just can't risk it…I can't risk that you living would butterfly to kill one of mine. I'm just a normal selfish human that happens to know your fate. Not exactly who, not why, not when, just what. What which is the fate for most of those I care about. Shane, Glenn, and Carl all have written deaths in the future. Deaths that may escalate with the life of someone else or just one minor or major change to the storyline.

****Time skip****

We were almost back to where we'd left the van after leaving the vatos, checking a few alleys for Merle, and making a quick trip to retrieve Glenn's bag, that like the original was left behind when we went to get the gun bag, when Glenn says his line to Rick: "Admit it, you only came back to Atlanta for the hat."

"Don't tell anybody." Rick says adjusting it, looking at me with a smile, causing me to roll my eyes at him.

"You've given away half our guns and ammo." Daryl complains then.

"Not nearly half." Rick counters, losing the smile and looking at him.

"For what?" Daryl scoffs before continuing "Bunch of old farts who are gonna die off momentarily anyhow? Seriously, how long you think they got?"

I flinch and look at my feet at that last question even though I knew it was coming; both at the guilt of knowing the answer and staying silent and the fact that I'm in the same boat as them.

After all, how long do I have left?

"How long do any of us?" Rick counters, slight protective tone, as he places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze; signaling that he picked up on my reaction.

"Oh my god." Glenn says then causing me to snap my attention up and stop while the others stop as well.

Like the original the van was, in fact, gone. But if it was Merle or not who took it who knew. He never made it back to the camp.

"Where the hell's our van?" Daryl growls.

"We left it right there. Who would take it?" Glenn says in slight panic and disbelief.

"Merle." Rick accuses then causing Daryl to look at him and slowly say "He's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp."

Merle wasn't the cause for the walker attack on the group but I stay silent.

"Cat-" Rick starts to say then but I cut him off with a snapped "I'm fine so shut up and let's go."

"Alright." Rick says before ordering "You heard her, let's go."

With that we all take off.

****Time skip****

Right on time, just before total nightfall, we got closer to the camp and the screams and shots started.

"Oh my God." Rick breathes out.

"Go! Go!" Glenn and I shout as I draw my gun and we go faster, spurring the others to do the same.

Though the guys are quickly lengths away from me, any speed I had added used up. So much for my plan to stick by Rick when we got back.

I can just barely see them as they get to camp and immediately start firing and disperse to help.

I make it to camp and pause to quickly scan for where Shane and Carl are while also trying to catch my breath.

Taking a deep breath then letting it out in relief as I spot Shane was successfully with Lori and Carl and Carol and Sophia at the R.V. and still taking out walkers, like the original.

With that confirmed I start slowly making my way over to them, trying to catch my breath while shooting any walker that gets too close.

Least I was a decent shot even if my physical self-defense skills were lacking. Maybe I should have pushed Shane or Rick to formally teach me some physical self-defense instead of just guns.

Just as I had that thought my gun clicked, empty, allowing the large walker I was aiming at to keep reaching for me and snapping its jaw, blood dripping from it.

"Someone's not counting." I mutter stepping back from it before releasing a "Shit." As my foot connects with something, knocking me off balance, and sending me to the ground on my ass.

Unfortunately, the walker then trips over my feet as it keeps coming causing it to fall in my direction.

I manage to block it from taking a bite out of my face by an arm shoved on its neck but am forced on my back, fully to the ground, at the weight of it. But before I could try anything I had to shove my other arm at its neck and use all my strength to keep it back as it continues growling and desperately continues snaping its jaw at me. I turn my head to the side as the blood continued dripping from its jaw and now on my face, while its hands grab hold of my shoulders and tries to pull me closer.

"Stephanie!" Shane cries out in panic and desperation then, probably just now noticing my situation, causing me to dare and look in his direction as time seemed to slow down.

The look of on his face right now was heartbreaking but also reassuring. Horror, fear, panic, desperation, and conflict. It was clear he was torn between coming to my rescue or keeping Lori, Carl, Carol, and Sophia safe. This wasn't how I wanted my death to go. I didn't want him to witness it happening. But what else could I do other than make that decision for him?

When he starts to step toward me, I give him a small smile with an 'it's okay' look as my arms start to shake, my strength starting to fail.

"I'm so sorry. I…I…love…y-you." I tell him, my voice was barely above a whisper, struggling to get the words out and cracking at the end as I feel tears well up in my eyes.

I should have told him…just how much he meant to me…before. What a cliché for me to tell him for the first time when I'm about to die and when he couldn't even hear me. But even if I was able to say it louder, he wouldn't have heard it over the screams or gunshots.

He seems to stop breathing as eyes go wide and he freezes; sadness starting to flood his face.

The smile falls from my face as the tears start to fall at that so I turn head back to face the walker; my bottom lip quivering. I couldn't let him see me cry now. I wouldn't just look at him and cry as I died. I wouldn't let him witness the light leave my eyes. I'd face my death head on.

I grit my teeth as my arms start to give and the walkers teeth start getting dangerously close.

In the next moment, there's a shotgun blast louder and closer than the others and blood suddenly splatters on my face and glasses and the walker's grip is loosened, its jaw and growling stop, and it becomes pure dead weight. Through the blood splatter on my glasses, I see the walker almost a breath away from my face, the top half of its head completely gone; like it exploded. My arms fully give then but that's when the walker is ripped off me revealing Daryl standing over me, looking pissed.

My eyes go wide and my breathing stops as I could just stare at him while my heart's violent thumping filled my ears. I was saved? I was still alive? Daryl, saved me? How? He wasn't anywhere close to me when I went down.

Before I could process what was happening next, he bends down, grabs one of my arms, and harshly pulls me up and into him. In the next moment the hold on my arm is released but his hand just snakes over my back and grabs the opposite, his arm keeping me close to him, as he shoots another walker.

I'm kept there, almost bone crushingly, as he smacks another with the shotgun, knocking it over, while the shots and screams finally start to die down.

"Baby! Carl!" Rick calls out then as Daryl proceeds to bash its head in with the butt of the shotgun; meaning the attack was over.

"Hey, breathe. It's over." Daryl says then, the hold on and around me loosening as he looks down at me.

It takes another moment before my brain starts working again and I finally start breathing again; albeit heavy.

"You good?" Daryl asks then, his eyes scanning me, checking for any bites or scratches.

"Yeah. Thanks." I answer slowly before it clicks just how close we were but that's when I'm harshly pulled back, spun around and into a too tight bear hug.

"Don't you ever do that again." Shane's shaky voice sounds right in my ear, as his arms around me and his body shakes slightly.

"I'm sorry." I apologize, my own arms and body shaking as I slowly reach up and hug him back while my tears flow freely and I bury my head in his chest.

"Amy!" Andrea starts to wail then, meaning she just died, causing Shane to further tighten his hold on me; his heart thumping violently mirroring my own.

"I remember my dream now, why I dug the holes." Jim says that line then.

That's when the exhaustion starts to take hold of me; my vision starts to blur and my legs start to go weak. The only thing keeping me upright being Shane's tight hold around me.

"Hey." Shane says then his voice sounding distant and muffled despite him being not even an inch away.

In the next breath everything was gone.