CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

No more keeping score

Now I just keep you warm

And my waves meet your shore

Ever and evermore

~ Taylor Swift, Long Story Short

BPOV

She was born at nine-thirty-two in the morning on November twelfth. She weighed six pounds thirteen ounces and measured at eighteen and a half inches tall. And was, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I had busied myself with plenty of books on childbirth and parenting, and one odd little detail that always got thrown in was how women always commented about falling in love with their husbands all over again when they saw him become a father. I had stupidly assumed that wouldn't happen, considering Edward already was a father.

Then, after the nurses and doctors finally left the room I looked over and saw him sitting bare chested on the recliner beside me, our daughter bundled up in a blanket with a cute little bow wrapped around her head as it rested on his shoulder and I actively forgot how to breathe for a good sixty seconds.

I had been scared a majority of my life. Of doing the wrong thing, of being an inconvenience to my parents, of my step-brother, of my own shadow. I had spent the last nine months scared of giving birth and while it was just as terrifying as I had imagined, I survived. But I had also spent the last nine months terrified of her which seemed so, so ridiculous now.

Because she was completely innocent. New and untouched and blissfully unaware of anything outside of this room. And it was an absolutely inconceivable future for her to ever end up like me, ever have a childhood like mine. So far out of the realm of possibility, I realized, that it was almost laughable I ever let that scare me out of ever having her.

I still had a lot to learn. Would still make a few hundred mistakes along the way. But those mistakes would never be anything like the absolute abuse and neglect my own parents riddled me with.

"Should we bring her in?" Edward asked, gently placing our daughter back in my arms.

The only baby I had ever held was Juniper. I had always kept it short and sweet, terrified of doing something unknowingly wrong. I was fairly certain I could sit here with her in my arms for hours on end and never get tired of it, though.

I nodded, smiling down at her as Edward pressed a kiss to the top of my head before he went to find Rose and Emmett.

I knew our whole family was rather impatiently waiting, but I needed a few minutes with Rose first. While I loved and adored and appreciated every member of Edward's family, Rose was the only person I brought to the table.

She practically body checked Emmett out of her way to get through the door faster.

"Oh my God," she sighed, as Edward passed her from me to Rose as she sat down on the recliner beside me. "Oh, she's… I mean, I knew you two would have pretty babies but wow."

I huffed out a breath. She wasn't asking the right question. "Don't you want to know her name?"

"Sure," she sighed, eyes still on the baby in her arms.

Edward stood at my bedside, hand squeezing my shoulder.

"Isabella Rose Cullen," I said slowly. Mostly to keep myself from bursting into tears.

I had been on the edge of sobbing for a good ten hours at this point. Had sobbed for a while right after she was born. But I was trying to hold it together.

Rose looked up with a happy smile, then her eyes widened as they darted back down to the girl in her arms. Then back up at me. "What?"

"Isabella Rose Cullen," I told her. "Izzy for short."

I saw tears well up in her eyes from my spot on the bed before they narrowed at me. "Bitch," she whispered, wiping at her tears.

"What?"

"You can't expect me to be emotionally stable enough at five months pregnant to hear that you named your daughter after me."

"Well if you didn't know you were going to get pregnant how was I supposed to know?"

Rose frowned over at me, a laughably fake frown considering the tears that were trailing down her cheeks. "She's beautiful," she sighed, carefully brushing her palm over the generous head of dark hair she had been born with.

Emmett sat down beside Rose, peeking over her shoulder at Izzy.

"Hey, get your own turn, buddy," Rosalie snipped.

I sighed, happily smiling over at the two of them. Edward's hand ended up in my lap, my own fingers fidgeting with his as I said. "Well, it's a good thing you already like her because she will be your responsibility if anything ever happens to Edward and I."

Maybe it was rude, assuming and not asking first. Rose didn't miss a beat as she nodded, eyes still on Izzy as she said, "I will protect her with my life. And Emmett's."

I grinned over at my best friend and knew she meant every word. I sighed, head falling back against my pillow and ended up grinning up at my husband. "I had a baby," I sighed happily.

Edward smiled down at me. "Did a damn good job at it, too."

Some soft but impatient knocking had us both turning toward the door. "Can we please come in now?"

Edward chuckled at the barely restrained whine in Lucy's voice, walking over to open the door as soon as I gave him a nod.

Lucy wrapped him in a quick hug before brushing past him, Masen doing the same. Rosalie reluctantly gave up her spot, handing Izzy carefully over to her sister. And that tentative hold I had on my emotions faltered.

Because my daughter already had a brother and sister that adored her, even though they were only half-siblings. I wasn't entirely sure another baby was in the cards for Edward and I, but it didn't matter. Because she wasn't an only child and by the looks of it would be thick as thieves with her older siblings despite the age difference.

"What's her name?" Lucy asked, practically vibrating with excitement as she sat down with her sister in her arms.

"Isabella Rose Cullen," Edward said, taking a seat next to both of his daughters. It was the moment that tiny little string that had been holding my tears back snapped. The way he looked at both of them, the way I knew he was feeling an indescribable rush of emotions at the sight of the little girl he held twenty-one-years ago holding another today, had my own tears streaming down my face.

"We brought presents," Masen said, stopping beside me and dropping a tote on the table beside my bed. "And I got you some food. I–oh. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I breathed out, knowing I had to look like a trainwreck with tears falling down my cheeks. "Do I not look okay?"

"Oh, well, I mean, yeah, you look great. I–"

Warm, familiar fingers grabbed my hand. He muttered something to his son, but I didn't catch it. For a quick moment it was just him and I, his fingers intertwined with mine and his lips pressed firmly to the top of my head.

Then the room, the outrageously large and luxurious hospital room that I knew the average patient didn't have any hope at getting, was packed to the brim. There were balloons and streamers that said Happy Birthday which I thought was the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

As Izzy made all of her formal introductions with her new family, I sat back in my bed and happily devoured a piece of birthday cake. Edward never left my side. Rarely dropped my hand. His eyes always, always on either me or Izzy.

Carlisle ended up beside me, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I smiled. "Although I'm pretty sure that's because all of the drugs haven't worn off yet."

"Well," he said with a grin. "I've seen quite a few babies in my day and, you can't tell anyone else, but yours is the cutest."

I beamed up at him. Didn't care that he had probably said the same thing to the mother of every baby he had ever met. "Thanks," I smiled. "I made her."

Edward cleared his throat beside me. "I do believe I helped."

I waved him off. "Only with the fun part."

He and Carlisle let out matching laughs.

.M.

I took advantage of the few minutes I had to myself as Edward put Izzy down for her morning nap. I was incredibly adept at quick showers these days, and my skill at throwing my hair up in a bun that was messy but not too messy had also improved immensely.

Izzy turned two months old yesterday. She was still, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had a fuzzy little head of dark brown hair that was turning out to be as unruly as Edward's.

The first few weeks were… rough. Everything was new for both Izzy and I. It took me a good month to be able to make it through a day without crying. Partly from the lack of sleep and partly from being entirely too overwhelmed with everything.

But I got the hang of it. Edward never faltered with anything. Whether Izzy was crying or spitting up or fussing, in those first few weeks he always had a suggestion to try and solve the problem. It would have been annoying if they hadn't usually worked. And eventually I started figuring it out myself.

It wasn't easy, but I never thought it would be. It wasn't the kind of struggle I had been worried about, though. I could handle sleepless nights and the screaming cries when she was extra fussy and the spit up and all of those things.

I had stupidly thought there had to be some other shoe to drop. Something else about being a parent that might have explained away why mine were so quick to toss me aside. Something that, God forbid, might have turned me into them, too.

There wasn't.

I loved her just as much when she was screaming her head off because she went thirty seconds too long without eating as when she was happily napping against her fathers chest.

I took a few extra moments to braid my hair back and put some mascara on simply because I was confident enough I wouldn't cry it away. I pulled on a comfortable pair of black yoga pants and a trustworthy Tonight Show sweatshirt just as Edward rounded the corner of the ensuite.

"She should be down for a while," he said, coming to stand behind me and wrap his arms around my waist.

I could hear the strain in his voice so I reached up and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "We'll be fine."

He frowned down at me, fingers tightening on my hips. "I can–"

"You already took two months. Leon will start to get fussy."

Technically, he could take more time off if he wanted. Could never work another day of his life and we'd be fine. A few of the weeks since Izzy was born the show had a hiatus anyway because of the holidays. But I also knew he loved his job and once he got there he'd be happy to be back.

"Besides," I sighed, twisting in his arms and wrapping mine around his neck. "I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm pretty great at this whole 'keeping a baby alive' thing."

Edward beamed down at me. "You are."

Being pregnant had been hard. Physically and emotionally. And my pre-existing anxiety had quadrupled throughout it. While I would always have those anxious tendencies, I was surprisingly handling the prospect of my first full day alone with Izzy better than Edward.

"It's not that I think you need me here. I just…"

I smiled up at him. "I know. I'll take copious amounts of pictures of her, I promise."

That crooked smile I love so much tugged at his lips. He leaned down, pressing a delicate kiss to the corner of my lips before he moved to whisper into my ear, "Take a few of yourself, too. Clothing is optional."

I choked on my own saliva, my cheeks heating up as Edward smirked down at me. The blush lingered even after he reluctantly left for work.

I had been cleared to resume all physical activity weeks ago. But we still hadn't… resumed physical activity. Edward would never push and I knew he was likely waiting for me to tell him when I was ready, but there was a stupid little bundle of nerves in the back of my stomach.

All things considered, I had a very easy birth. No tearing or complications and we were out of the hospital within twenty-four hours. I had started some easy exercises a few weeks after, mostly for my own mental health rather than losing weight. My body wasn't the same as it was before the pregnancy but it wasn't vastly different, not that I could tell. And while Edward had seen my body in far worse shape, covered in bruises and stitches and bandages, there was still a lingering sense of self-doubt in the back of my mind for some stupid reason.

I triple checked the baby monitor and saw her peacefully sleeping in her crib as I sat down to the muffin that had been waiting for me on the counter after Edward left. I grabbed my phone and stared at the keyboard for a few minutes before typing.

I'm not taking naked pictures of myself.

He had been gone long enough I knew he was probably already at the theater. The bubble that told me he was typing popped up immediately.

Damn.

.M.

My day went by shockingly quick. Quick enough that I never had time to doubt myself being the sole person in charge of the tiny little human I had just gotten settled in her cozy little lounger in the kitchen. We had a day full of naps and cuddles and spitting up on four different outfits, but we survived. Peacefully.

Izzy happily relaxed in her lounger while I made Edward and I dinner. It was a fairly easy dinner, because cooking was still a learning process for me, but my cooking skills were better than they used to be. And even though I hadn't worked in months, I still felt remarkably accomplished after cooking an edible filet of salmon and keeping my child alive and fed all day by myself.

With dinner cooking in the oven, I opened the front door for the dogs to get some time running in circles in the yard and took Izzy out front with a blanket and a few miscellaneous toys to keep her entertained, including the cute little rattle Edward picked out for her as one of the first baby purchases we ever made.

Right on time, the front gate clicked open and Edward's car slid slowly into the driveway. He didn't bother parking in the garage, quickly parking in the driveway and beaming over at Izzy and I.

The dogs ran in circles around him and he gave each ample attention on his way over to us. He plopped down on the blanket beside me, leaning down to press his lips to mine in a kiss I wasn't prepared for. One that had my lungs burning by the time he pulled away.

He left me in a bit of a daze for a moment and I watched through hooded eyes as he pulled Izzy into his lap and peppered her face with kisses, too.

My head fell to his shoulder as I scooted closer to his side.

"How'd today go?"

"Good," I smiled. "I even cooked. I'm kind of killing the whole mom thing."

He smiled over at me. "You are, you know. Truly."

I looked down at my hands as I fidgeted with my fingers. "It's not as utterly terrifying as I thought it'd be."

I had a whole new category of Izzy related worries in my brain. But I was used to the anxiety. Had years worth of therapy to deal with it, and still talked to Doctor Stanley every couple of weeks. A lot of our sessions were over the phone or video these days, but it was no less effective.

And somehow, even through all of those new fears for the little girl in Edward's lap, even with all of the sleepless nights and rushed showers and afternoons when nothing seemed to soothe her, I had never been happier.

I had a life that five… six years ago I never would have thought possible. Would have laughed in anybody's face who told me I would be married with a child by twenty-seven. And so blissfully happy about it that every scar, mental or physical, was shoved so far in the back of my mind they didn't bother me on a daily basis.

Warm lips brushed against my neck, breaking me out of my own tangent.

.M.

I rolled my lips together, fighting against every urge to tell Carlisle that he needed to shift his hold on Izzy by a miniscule two degrees for no reason other than it was how I knew she liked to be held.

I didn't want to be that woman, the one who micromanaged or had stupidly strict rules over inconsequential things. But I hadn't been prepared for the rush of terror that leaving Izzy with Carlisle and Esme for the night would come with.

"She, uh, well she likes to–"

I stopped myself. My only evidence that she liked to be held differently came from an afternoon attempting to get her to nap after an hour of her screaming until I got her angled just right. It was very likely she had already changed her mind on the position.

"Are you sure we brought everything?" I frowned down at the pile of bags and supplies we–Edward–had carted in from the car. "What if we–"

Esme grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "She will be fine. We have a whole nursery for her. Even if you forgot something, we'll manage."

"She just–she's still so tiny. Maybe–"

"We'll put her to bed in an hour. We have plenty of milk if she wakes up hungry. And Carlisle took an extra nap this afternoon to prepare for her," Esme chuckled. "It's okay to go out for a night with your husband, Bella."

"Okay," I sighed, eyes following said husband as he came down the stairs after taking a few things up to the nursery at his parents house. Because as much as I wanted to lock myself in a room with my daughter and know, without a doubt, she was happy and safe, I also wanted him.

My hair was clean and curled and my dress wrinkle free and one of the first actual outfits I had worn in weeks. I was wearing heels for the first time in months and had exfoliated and shaved and had spent a good twenty minutes doing my makeup.

"Okay," I repeated as Edward came to stand by me.

The way his eyes constantly drifted to where his father held Izzy made me feel less crazy for hesitating.

It took us another twenty minutes, but we did manage to actually leave. And make it to our reservation on time. It was a cozy little Italian place we had been before, and while I was still running through a dozen different scenarios of things that could go wrong, it was nice to be out in the world again. Especially without the bump getting in my way.

I loved my daughter more than life itself, but I did not love being pregnant.

I gasped, embarrassingly loud, as the waiter placed a drink menu on our table. I had done the research, knew since I wouldn't be feeding Izzy for a good twelve hours at least that I could have a drink.

I hadn't cared about it since she was born, but now that we were out it seemed incredibly vital that I choose the best drink possible.

"I don't even remember the last time I had a glass of wine. Or any kind of drink," I sighed, eyes trailing the menu. I wasn't a heavy drinker in the first place, but I had been a little disappointed at going to Hawaii and not getting to have a fun drink by the pool, and I never realized how much I enjoyed having a glass of wine with dinner until it was no longer an option.

I was distracted, still reading the menu that it took me a few extra seconds to realize Edward hadn't responded. He was looking at me with a mixture of awe and love and a hint of amusement that made my cheeks flush.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"I know it's stupid to be so excited about a single glass of wine but–"

"It's not stupid. It's… I know the last year, nearly two since we started trying to have Izzy were hard for you. You made a lot of sacrifices for her before she was even that tiny little dot on a sonogram. You made a lot of sacrifices for me and our relationship and I just…" he shook his head, emerald green eyes shining at me from across the table. "I love you. And I'm really fucking glad we're here."

I beamed over at him. "I'm glad we're here, too."

.M.

I frowned out the windshield as he pulled into a parking lot instead of onto the highway to head home. It only deepened as we pulled into the valet parking of the very fancy hotel in front of us.

"What are we doing here?"

Edward shrugged. "If we're going to have a night out, I figured we should do it right."

He didn't give me a chance to respond, opening his door and talking to the valet as he walked around for mine. Our dinner had been wonderful. We might have accidentally sat at our table for three hours, talking about everything that constantly got pushed aside when there was a baby screaming between us.

It was silly, I realized, to think when Edward asked me to go out it meant a simple dinner. The man never did anything simple.

We didn't have to stop to check in. He wrapped an arm securely around my waist and led me through the immaculate lobby straight for the elevator.

I peered up at him as the doors slid shut. "So was all of this an elaborate plan for sex?"

He coughed out a laugh. "It was an elaborate plan to have a few uninterrupted hours with my wife. I'll happily fall into bed and sleep for the next eight hours straight if you want."

I chewed on my bottom lip. "What if I want it to have been an elaborate plan for sex?"

I had been cleared weeks ago. And while I knew he would have happily fallen into bed and expected nothing from me, I wanted him. Missed him.

Edward grinned down at me. "Then I will happily spend the next eight hours reacquainting myself with every fucking inch of you."

The doors slid open and it took an embarrassing amount of willpower for me not to drag him down the hallway toward our door. I didn't bother to pay attention to the interior and didn't have much time to before he had me pressed against the door. I held back a moan at the feel of him against every inch of me.

He braced one arm above me, the other brushed my hair over my shoulder so he could press his lips to my collarbone. A very simple and delicate touch that sent a chill down my spine.

I ran my fingers through his hair, digging them into the ones at the base of his neck as I pulled him into a kiss.

My toes tried to curl, an impossible task considering the heels they were stuffed into. I slid them off, dropping a good three inches in height and accidentally kicking my left one into something that sounded fragile when it got stuck on my foot.

Edward smiled down at me as he led me through the dark hotel room. "We always have been good at trashing hotel rooms," he breathed against my shoulder. I felt his fingers find the zipper on the back of my dress at the same time my calf bumped into the edge of the bed. His fingers froze as he asked, "Are you sure? We can wait. I–"

I chuckled against his neck. "I don't think you were even this hesitant when you took my virginity."

Edward let out a loud laugh, his breath ruffling my hair. "God, I've missed you."

I smiled up at him. Being pregnant had been hard. I had finally started to feel like myself again after having Izzy, moreso the last few weeks. I pulled Edward back down for a kiss, smiling into it more as I felt his fingers finally tug the zipper of my dress down.

It only took a few well-practiced maneuvers for me to be settled in the middle of the fluffy bed with his head between my thighs. I grunted out a curse, fingers knotted in his hair as his tongue brushed against my clit.

Everything after that was a blur of firm strokes of his tongue and sharp bites of his teeth into my thighs and strokes of his fingers that had me pulling at his hair until it was in complete disarray. He didn't stop until minutes after I came down from my orgasm.

I watched through hooded eyes as he got rid of his clothing. As soon as he laid down beside me I hitched my thigh around him and had him beneath me.

My palms drifted down his torso, fingers brushing against the base of his cock as I took my time reacquainting myself with every inch of him.

His hands were firm on my hips as I sank down onto him, never more glad of my decision to get an IUD put in at my six week appointment than I was now. Nothing compared to the feel of him and only him inside of me.

I gave myself a few moments to adjust, hips gently rocking into him until I needed more. My palms braced on his shoulders as his hips met my every thrust.

He gave me no warning before I was on my back. He wasn't rough, each of his movements slow and sensual and had me muffling the sounds of my second orgasm against his neck as he came inside of me.

I only felt his weight on me for a moment before he switched us again and I was sprawled out across his chest.

"Edward," I mumbled, lips brushing against his shoulder.

"Hmm," he sighed, the tips of his fingers drawing patterns against my skin.

I used my remaining energy to lift my head so I could look into his happily satiated eyes. "I never knew I could be this happy," I admitted quietly.

He smiled up at me, fingers reaching up to brush away what I was sure was a birdsnest of hair. "Me either."

A/N: I hate to say it, but the next chapter will be the epilogue. I'm going to be brutally honest with you guys and say I'm going through a very bad time personally right now. And I love these two with my whole heart and want them to end on a high note. One that is like pulling teeth for me to get to these days.

You all know me and I'm sure I'll be back with a 'short' outtake or two or part five eventually because I'm unable to let characters go. But right now, I can't give them the happy fluffy love they deserve.

I will say the ending scene I have planned for these two makes my heart very happy and I hope you guys love it too. I'll see you next time!