Chapter 24. We Won't Bury You
Karol woke me up a few hours later. He claimed it wasn't because he was scared of the Atherum, but I was less than convinced. Taking a second look at who we'd sent onto the ship and who we'd left on the Fiertia, all of our scaredy cats were accounted for in the group left behind. So Karol stuck pretty close to me once I got up and moving. I didn't call him out on it. If that thing actually was haunted and out to get us, I wanted him nearby.
We tried to occupy ourselves in the meantime.
Raven tried to teach us a new card game, but Rita couldn't wrap her head around the rules, set the deck on fire, and stormed off. Raven just stared blankly at the little pile of ash as it slowly blew away on the sea breeze. He got up and silently walked off.
Karol and I just watched them go, unsure whether to be amused, concerned, annoyed, or some combination of all three. Karol pulled out his Monster Book and started sketching, and we lapsed into a comfortable silence.
The Atherum loomed over us. It seemed to beckon, whispering promises of knowledge beyond imagination and treasures of ages past. The feeling of phantom hands on my hands, pulling me toward the ship made me want to vomit.
"Where do you want your guild tattoo?" I asked suddenly, and the gossamer touch evaporated. I could almost hear the sinister laughter as it went.
Karol startled, then considered the question carefully, hand to his mouth. "Man, that's a great question. I hadn't really thought about it."
"You asked us to draw it."
"Yeah, but I forgot that it would have to go on my body!" At least he was laughing at himself because holy shit. "I've been in guilds before, but I've never earned a tattoo."
Some part of me knew that he had been in, and kicked out of, guild before we met him. The walk of shame through Dhangrest had been pushed to a shadowy corner of my mind, and I was content to leave that information there. Scared as he may be, he was a child, and he deserved some grace and care.
Those guilds didn't know what they were missing out on.
We ventured down to the cabins to grab the sketches that Judith and I had drawn up a few days ago before heading back up to lounge on the deck. It was strange; clouds and fog seemed to gather around the Atherum, but small pockets of sunlight were able to filter through. None of us knew what to make of the phenomenon, but nobody wanted to talk about it.
Rita slowly began migrating toward where Karol and I were sitting. She was trying to be sly about it, but she watched the Ghost Ship out of the corner of her eye as she crept in our direction. Scaredy Cat genius mage. I ignored her if only to preserve her
"Maybe just on my chest?" Karol tapped his left pec. "That way it's close to my heart!"
Cute. "That would work."
"Get it? Because the guild means so much to me?"
I grinned. "I've got it, Karol. Always knew you were a sap."
"Huh? Am not! "
I reached out and patted his head. "Okay, buddy."
He shoved my hand away from his hair. "You suck. But maybe not, you know? I'll have to think about it more."
Rita was right behind Karol when she chimed in. "I don't understand how anyone could want something so permanent as a tattoo."
Karol yelped and scampered away. "Don't do that."
"Idiot. Didn't you hear me coming?"
"No."
Rita scoffed and crossed her arms. "Anyway, like I was saying - guilds who get their insignias tattooed on them are just tacky."
Karol cocked his head to the side. "Do the Imperial Mages not wear their insignia?"
"I have a patch sewn onto a jacket somewhere," she said, "and paperwork bearing the seal."
"Doesn't that just make it easy to steal?" I asked, genuinely curious. I was firmly camped in the 'tattoos are great' side of the argument, but it was an interesting conversation to be involved in.
Rita considered this for a moment then just shrugged it off. "That's never happened to me before."
"Didn't you just say you left them in Aspio?" Karol asked drily. "Maybe this'll be a first."
Rita turned and punched him in the arm. Karol cried out and fell to his knees, clutching his arm to his chest. "Shut up," she said. "Don't say that."
"You didn't have to hit me for bringing up a good point," he whined. "At least my guild tattoo can't be stolen."
She huffed. "Who would want to steal something like that anyway? What do the guilds give you?"
Karol sighed and took a moment to search for the words. "It's not what they can give us. It's proof that I'm a part of something bigger than myself - bigger than even just Brave Vesperia. A guild tattoo shows that I am committed to the ideals of freedom and choice, and it's a promise to uphold the ideals that cities like Dhangrest and Nordopolica and other guild towns across the world are built on."
Khana's wind chime laughter floated through my head, and I could feel her warm smile.
"And tattoos are a form of self-expression, just like clothes or hair or jewelry," Karol said. "It's like wearing a story on your skin."
"And what if your story changes, hm? What then?" Rita's voice turned hard and biting - no longer teasing. "You think you'll be a part of this guild for forever?"
"Rita," I warned softly. If she was going to attack -
"Besides, we all know your track record with guild membership. What makes you think that Brave Vesperia is going to be any different?"
I took as big of a breath as I could and rubbed at my forehead. Twist the knife a bit harder, why don't you, Rita.
But Karol only smiled. "We're going to change the world together. I'm sure of it. And if my story does change, I'll look back and appreciate the memories."
Cute.
"Sentimental freak," Rita said, but gone was the ice in her voice. "Tattoos are still dumb."
"Then don't get one," I said. "Your body, your choice."
We went back and forth for a while longer, discussing and debating whatever came to mind. While I could tell that she was quite often on the same side as Karol, Rita liked to play devil's advocate in nearly every argument. She was great at asking the 'what if' questions and poking at holes in logic.
Eventually, she had had her fill of social and started retreating to the kitchen to find a snack.
"Oh, hey, Rita?" I called as she started walking away. When she only turned halfway, I rolled my eyes. "Judith and I were wondering about rune tattoos."
That got her attention. "Rune tattoos? I've never heard of those."
Guess that answered that. "Huh. Judith and I were talking about the possibility and thought someone for sure would have figured it out by now."
Rita came back over and plopped herself down on the deck next to me. I scooted over to make room. Her eyes were flitting back and forth, as if scanning some unseen document for answers.
"Rune tattoos. Like using ink to draw formulae circles on skin?" I shrugged. I had no idea how it would or wouldn't work. "But that wouldn't work. It would need to be infused with aer first, and that would get used up too quickly to be of any value."
"That's not how my bag works."
Her eyes sharpened. "Well, that's because that circle is written to draw in ambient aer from the atmosphere. Normal spells, like the ones I use," I rolled my eyes at her haughty look, "are not written that way. The caster has to channel the aer through a blastia."
Interesting. "Can't you just rewrite them?"
She shot me a withering look. "Do you know how hard it is to rewrite spell formulae?"
"I don't even know how to write them to begin with," I answered flatly. "But you're our resident genius mage. If anyone could figure out how to do it, it would be you."
She preened at the praise. "Maybe. It would be difficult to do and take a lot of time to test. Casters use spells and formulae for specific results at specific times. Can you imagine having a tattoo for Fireball on your arm but not being able to control when the Fireball happens?"
Considering what had happened with a miscast Champagne recently, I could. At least that one had just been water. "That is a great point. What about when I use my airbrush for drawing the distillation circles? I can choose when I want that to happen by channeling just a bit more aer into it."
RIta considered this information, rolling it around her mouth to test the way it tasted. "That could work. Have the formulae slowly gather and store aer, then have the caster channel the rest of what is necessary…" She trailed off, still scanning whatever invisible text she seemed to be consulting.
She pulled a pencil from her hair and grabbed her notebook from the carrier on her waist and started sketching. "There would have to be safeguards, so the formula wouldn't take in too much aer." Her pencil scratched across the paper in staccato strokes. "I'd have to try and simplify where I could for the sake of space."
'You've really set her down a spiral,' Khana mused as Rita continued to talk to herself.
"No kidding," I said through gritted teeth. Hopefully this would take her mind off of the Ghost Ship for a while.
"I thought you didn't want something so permanent as a tattoo," Karol teased, poking Rita's arm.
She brushed him off with a wave. "Tattoos are still stupid, but this?" She held up her sketches to him proudly. "This is science. Totally different."
"So different," I echoed drily.
She launched herself off the deck, murmuring excitedly to herself as she rocketed back to her own room. Karol and I watched her go
"I don't understand her sometimes," he said once the dust had settled.
I patted him on the sounder. "Best not to try too hard on that one. The smart ones are always the trickiest."
When the mast of the Atherum split in half with a CRRREAK and fell with a deafening CRASH onto its own deck, it was the wake up call we needed to admit that something bad was going to happen. Even in the aftermath, the stillness that followed was ill and foreboding. Its tattered sails were nothing more than ghostly shrouds rippling in the disturbed air before drifting back to stillness once more.
Karol was having none of it and decided that running in actual circles on the top deck of the Fiertia was going to solve everything.
"They can take care of themselves, Karol."
He paused, still squirming with the energy that was building up in his little body, then looked over his shoulder at the ship across the way. "I know that, Is. But I'm still worried about them."
And I was too, not that I would admit it out loud. They had been gone for hours now on that Ghost Ship. We hadn't seen anyone or anything moving on board. The only indication that something might be happening was the fact that the entire mast cracked in half and fell, and that was an ill omen if I'd ever seen one. It was really starting to freak me out. Karol being nervous wasn't anything particularly new, but if he was willing to go check on them…
"I guess," I said slowly, "if you want to, you can go."
Karol looked taken aback. "Wait, what?"
"Go check on them," I said again. "On the ship."
"On my own?"
I blinked. "What? No, are you fuckin' nuts? Go find Rita and Raven."
He scampered off belowdecks.
Khana's presence filled my mind as she rejoined me from whatever she had been doing. It's almost like I could feel her peering over my shoulder as Karol disappeared down the steps. 'You're sending them all?'
"Yeah."
There was a pause. 'Is that wise?' she asked hesitantly.
"It seems a hell of a lot dumber to let someone go alone," I reasoned. I wasn't happy about any of them going, but it had been hours, and things were starting to get a little too spooky for my liking.
'I suppose that's fair,' she allowed after a moment. 'I would feel more comfortable if none of you went aboard.'
"It's a little late for that, Khana." The others had been gone for hours and hours at this point. "Why didn't you say anything when we first ran into this thing?"
I looked up at the massive ship that still seemed to beckon us to join it. It was beautiful, in some macabre way. After what could have been decades or centuries or lifetimes on the water, the salt of the sea had leached away the finish, leaving behind the pale, pockmarked image of the wood beneath. That wood was warped, and as it gathered near the hull, I couldn't unsee the impression of a pair of skeletal hands clasped together.
Surely there were secrets somewhere inside, just waiting to be discovered. I loved sneaking around and collecting knowledge - imagine what I could learn from this ancient boat. Knowledge was power, after all. Maybe I could find answers to questions unasked, could bring light to problems before they escalated into conflicts, could -
My hip hit the railing of the boat, and I stumbled backward a step. I hadn't realized that I had been moving toward the Atherum. Shuddering, I took another step back.
Khana shifted, unsettled. That made two of us, at least.
I looked down at Delta, who had wound herself around my legs at some point. "Do you want to go on the haunted ship?"
She blinked up at me, then nuzzled the back of my knee. A low whine escaped her, and I knelt down to give her a hug and scratch at the scales on her neck.
"Keep them safe, alright? Come back if it gets to be too much."
The Fiertia would offer no shelter from whatever malevolent force was on the Atherum, but if it came down to the end, I wanted my partner by my side.
Some argument between Rita and Raven pulled my attention away. They were going on about the possibility of ghosts and other supernatural beings.
"No, because if ghosts are real, so are other undead creatures," she was saying. "Poltergeists, ghouls, vampires - they're things of story, of myth. There is no evidence that they exist at all."
"Nah, see, ghosts are just spirits, aren't they?" Raven tried to explain. "Yer saying that spirits ain't real?" He motioned toward me. "Try telling that to the Lady."
'I am the Queen of Spirits,' Khana said, coldly. 'He would do well to remember this.'
"Not a ghost, Raven," I translated.
He made a gesture that said 'see?' Rita just crossed her arms. "That proves my point more than yours, old man."
The gears turned slowly. "Wait -"
I cut in quickly before they had the chance to get trapped in another cyclical argument. "Are you guys ready to find out?"
Rita, pale as she turned, seemed resigned to her fate. Khana asked if I thought she was worried about Estelle, and I had to turn and hide my smile.
"Now hang on just a minute," Raven protested weakly. "Why do I have to go?"
"Just -" I pulled him a few steps away from the kids. "Please, Raven. Karol wants to go, and they need a capable adult."
"But you're a capable adult too, Izzy," he whined. "Why can't you go and babysit on the creepy boat?"
"Because someone still needs to stay back with the Fiertia," I explained as calmly as I could. Kaufmann would grind Brave Vesperia to sand beneath her heel if we left her shipment unsupervised. "They need a healer with them, and you've got the artes for it which means that you're the next best thing."
"You sayin' I couldn't keep President Kaufmann safe?" he huffed.
I leveled a stern look at him. "You're Altosk. This is Brave Vesperia's contract. You really wanna risk both of their names if shit goes sideways while we're gone?"
Guildsmen always took so much pride in their names. Being the middleman meant that I got to use that knowledge to my advantage.
It made me feel just a little bit better about the fact that I didn't belong.
"Fine. Ya owe me for this though," he said seriously as we rejoined the group. There was no weird undertone this time, and I nodded solemnly.
"I mean, I'm pretty nervous, but I would feel terrible if something happened to them," Karol was saying to Rita. "We have to save them."
"They may not even need to be saved," I said, trying to ease the nerves that Rita and Karol were pinging off on one another. "Safety is best in numbers, though. Checking in on them isn't a bad idea."
There was a lot of grumbling and complaining, but Delta, nose to the ground, led the rest of our group off the Fiertia just minutes later.
I was alone again. Naturally.
Galen seemed to see the dark clouds above my head and did his best to teach me how to sail in the meantime. In the event that the blastia was still malfunctioning, the ship would have to revert to the old mechanics of sailing by the wind and currents. The crew of the Fiertia was all trained for moments like this, and while using the blastia for power was optimal, there was still a way to get us to Nordopolica.
We wouldn't be fast about it, but we would still get there.
He showed me the literal ropes, and while I did my best to keep up, it quickly became clear that I didn't grow up on the water. It was a hot mess.
"Please tell me you won't actually need my help if it comes to this," I said, massaging my hands. They were red and raw and were definitely going to need some TLC.
"Probably not," he said with a good-natured laugh. "The crew is trained. Prepared might be a different question, but everyone knows the jobs in theory."
"Great," I said, voice flat. "We put all of this trust in you, and all you have is 'in theory.'"
He held up his hands. "Hey now, I know what I'm doing."
"And that's one out of how many?"
Galen just laughed. "We'll take care of it, Isadora. We always do."
"Yeah, okay," I said, poking his side, "because I'm going to believe that after you - "
A strange sense of foreboding, more hollow, more lonely than the one from the other night, came creeping in. I trailed off. Galen tried to ask me what was wrong, but I just waved him off.
Khana whined low in the back of my head, as if she felt it too. As if she didn't like it either.
I turned to face The Atherum. It swayed gently as the waves swelled and crashed around it, looking every bit as innocent as I knew it wasn't. There was something wrong with it - that much was becoming apparent. Between the blastia failing and the way it seemed to call each of us to board, it was ominous and twisted and wrong.
"Is?" Galen asked, but his voice was fuzzy.
No part of me wanted any part of that ship. But my friends were still on board still, had been all day, and what daylight could make its way through the dense fog that shrouded this cursed vessel was dwindling rapidly.
"Something is wrong," I whispered.
'They've made an attempt at something they should have left to be forgotten,' Khana hummed.
"They made - what?"
'An ancient relic. Once a proud and noble thing,' she explained, bitter, 'now dormant and empty, corrupted by the greed of the undead.'
The muscle in my jaw clenched. "Run that by me again. The undead?"
Galen's hands were on my waist, pulling me back from the edge of the boat. I hadn't realized that I had been moving toward the cursed Ghost Ship.
She at least had the decency to sound sheepish. 'It took a while to place the name of the vessel. To remember what had happened upon it.'
"Khana, I fucking swear, if you knew something about this fucking boat and someone comes back dead or dying, I am going to rip you out of my head and punch you in the face."
'Oh, yes, one of my siblings is scattered to the cosmos, lost to me, lost to our Age forever, but please! Fret not about that! Worry about your precious mortals - their petty, tiny lives are worth so much more.'
Khana was vibrating hotly at the base of my skull. I didn't know what to say to her. There was a lot in that to unpack. There was a lot that I could say to make it so much worse.
We didn't say anything. Not for a long while. We just watched the Ghost Ship and waited for the worst.
Like all bad things, it happened at dusk.
In a wild scraping of claws on wood, Delta and Repede vaulted over the side of The Atherum. My partner's eyes found me immediately, and she was pawing at my knees in an instant, mouthing at my hands. Repede was a step behind her, whining and backpedaling toward where the two ships connected at the gangplank.
Judith appeared on the dock a moment later, face pale and drawn - not at all herself. She looked scared.
My breath caught in my chest as what nerves I had left frayed and snapped.
Her head followed the wake of Delta and Repede, her eyes suddenly sharpening to pure focus. "'Dor!"
"Jude, what the hell -"
She gripped my upper arms as if I would disappear. "'Dor, it's Rita. We need your help, she - Estelle can't - We can't -"
"Judith." She stopped her floundering and stared at me, eyes wide. Judith didn't flounder. Everything was well and truly fucked if she was this shaken. "Judith, look at me. I need you to calm down."
She nodded. Closed her eyes. Took a breath. Rolled her shoulders up, back, and down. Took another breath. When her eyes opened, they were clear.
"Okay?"
She nodded and tried again. "'Dory, Rita is really hurt. Estelle is down and unconscious. The boys are bringing them back now, but it's not good."
Holy - "Fuck."
"We need your help."
I nodded furiously, already running through the materials I had ready to go for emergencies and heading below decks. "Yeah, of course. Bring her to their room when they get back."
"Rita or Estelle?" she called after me.
I hesitated. If Rita was bad enough to stir Judith into a panic like that, she was the priority to stabilize, wasn't she? But head injuries could be nasty. Taking care of Estelle first could mean access to better healing artes and less healing on the physical end for Rita later on.
"Both," I finally decided. "We'll prioritize from there."
Jude nodded sharply and turned to the crew to start barking orders. Good. We needed to get the fuck out of here.
I don't remember running to our room; I was suddenly just there, grabbing everything that might be even remotely helpful. Judith didn't tell me what to expect in terms of injuries, so I shoved my entire herbal kit under one arm and balanced my med kit on my hip before just appearing in the other room. I yelled out to whoever was listening that I needed bowls and towels and water, and hoped to everything that I did and did not believe in that I would be enough. I swung by the kitchen on my way to wash the shit out of my hands. I hissed when the water hit the raw skin, but scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed until they were a bright cherry red and stung like a bitch.
I'd just pulled the bed out from the wall and laid a clean sheet down when I heard the others in the hall. Raven and Karol helped Estelle into the room first. She was conscious, which was a good sign, but she was very clearly severely concussed. Her eyes couldn't focus, and she was disoriented and confused about where she was. I ran Raven through some of the things in my herbal kit that would help with the symptoms and all but shoved them from the room.
And that's when Yuri carried in Rita.
Rita was already tiny, but Yuri had her cradled to his chest in such a way that she almost disappeared. She seemed to curl in on herself, like that way an insect would after it had - no. No. I couldn't go down that road. I wouldn't.
Yuri didn't even look at me as he laid her face down on the bed, so, so gently, and stepped back. His hands and chest were stained red, but he didn't seem to notice. Or care. He just stared at Rita, at the steadily bleeding gash across her back.
I swallowed the curses and the molten panic swelling in my chest. It wouldn't help us right now. My eyes flicked toward Yuri, still standing in the doorway.
"Are you helping me in here or are you getting us the fuck away from The Ghost Ship," I asked flatly, grabbing a pair of shears to cut Rita's jacket away. I needed to see what I was working with.
There was a beat of stressed silence, followed by another. I carefully pulled away Rita's ruined jacket from the battlefield of her back. What the hell had happened on that ship?
"Yuri," I snapped, just to get his attention. I needed more hands than I currently had, and he was just standing there. He didn't even flinch. Didn't give any indication that he had heard me. He just stared at Rita.
Then - "I'll send Judith down," and disappeared.
And that made sense, didn't it? He wasn't the 'tend to the wounded' type. He was much more the 'fuck up whatever did it to you in the first place' type. Different ways to show you cared, I guess.
It was bold of everyone to assume that I was any different. But I set to the task that had been chosen for me, and I tried my best to piece our broken friend together again.
I was nearly finished with the wound when I pulled too hard and yanked a suture out of place. It pulled all the way through, leaving another small cut in her already mutilated skin.
I muttered a curse under my breath and braced my hands against Rita's back to steady her when she jerked against the unexpected pain.
She never moved.
Panicked, I moved to her face to make sure that she was still breathing. When I was certain that she was still alive, I couldn't help the shaky laugh that happened next. The relief I felt was short lived - My hand left a red streak across her cheek.
I stared down at those trembling, bloodied hands, and I forced down the rolling in my stomach. Breathe. She was going to be okay. She had to be.
Eventually, I pulled myself back together enough to continue my gruesome task.
"What else can I do?" I whispered to Khana.
She'd been quiet in the back of my head since her outburst earlier, but I felt her stir slightly. There was a heart beat of silence, then a pained, 'Nothing within either your current capabilities or my own.'
Blood welled up from the canyon again when I pressed the needle through the skin. I nodded dully and reached for a rag to wipe it away. I'd figured as much.
I didn't look up as the door creaked open. By the soft footfalls, I could tell who it was.
I prepared another suture as she replaced the ruined rags with fresh ones. "We need to get her out of here."
Judith hummed. "Galen says we're making a stop at one of the Myannema Twins to restock and to finish any necessary repairs to The Fiertia and our blastia."
I angrily punched the needle through the edge of the wound and tied off another stitch. "That's not good enough. We need to get to Nordopolica. She needs a real healer, and she needs it 20 minutes ago."
"We can't," Judith said simply. "It's another three days of sailing, and with The Atherum causing the blastia malfunction, it's best to be careful."
Fuck her for her logic. "Three full days?" I asked instead.
Judith hummed. "Plus however long we'll spend there."
"How is Estelle?" The sooner she was back to full strength, the better Rita's chances of making a full recovery. Or any recovery, for that matter.
"Confused, the poor thing. She tried to cast a healing arte and ended up throwing up over the side of the boat. We put her to bed. The boys are taking turns watching her."
I wracked my brain for anything I knew about concussions. Was it okay for her to fall asleep? Or had someone told me that it would be dangerous?
"I guess so long as someone is watching her, it's alright," I allowed after considering for a moment longer. Khana didn't chime in, so I assumed she wasn't in immediate danger. "Didn't anyone tell her it would be a bad idea for her to try and use magic?"
Judith sighed. "I'm sure Rita would have."
I tied off the last of the stitches and cut the ends down so they wouldn't snag. Together, we cleaned the outside of the wound, applied a salve, and carefully wrapped the injury with fresh bandages.
Without anything else to do, the silence stretched on and on as we just watched Rita's broken body rise and fall with each shallow breath.
"Fucking hell, Jude," I said quietly. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"
"You know, I'm not sure Ghost Ships were a part of Fortune's Market's contract," she said weakly.
"Fucking contract." I scoffed. "Fucking guilds. Rita isn't even a member of Brave Vesperia."
Judith just hummed. "Yet here we are."
"She didn't sign up for this."
"No, she didn't." Judith had a way of speaking simply that I loved and hated in equal measure. "I'm not sure that any of us signed up for what we saw on that ship."
I shuddered. "I'm not sure that I want to know. Khana mentioned the undead?"
She nodded. "It was exciting for a while."
Until it wasn't. Until it all got to be too much. Until one of us lay broken and bleeding. My mind flashed back to Heliord and added Rita to a growing list of falling friends.
I felt it all at once, and had to drop to my knees with a gasp because it burned, a groove gouged into my body that seared like fire and wept red water.
Eyes wide, Yuri fell to his knees. His dark lashes fluttered, briefly, then he fell, face first, to the ground. He didn't get back up.
When I spoke, my voice was hollow in my ears. "It's all fun and games until someone is dead."
"Good thing Rita isn't dead then. We can still have a bit of fun." She was trying to make light of the situation. I couldn't tell if I appreciated it or not.
"I think I've had my fill of fun for a while, Jude."
We watched Rita's back rise and fall in that shallow rhythm, letting the gentle wheeze of the air between her lips become the metronome by which we measured the passing time.
Judith moved forward to brush the hair out of our little mage's face. "We won't bury you," she promised softly.
Each inhale was a birth, its hold a Life, the exhale a Death, all in a continuous and brutal and beautiful cycle. Life and Death. Two sides of the same coin. One simply could not exist without the other. It would upset the balance of all things.
Khana started humming her song in the back of my head. Something in the familiar tune soothed the edges of my frayed nerves, and I took my first full breath since Repede and Delta had thrown themselves aboard to get away from the Ghost Ship.
Life and Death were always interesting to ponder. Khana always made them sound like actual, real beings rather than the simple truths of existence.
I looked back at Rita, who was sleep-walking the tightrope between the two.
There is more to Life than just a heart that beats and lungs that draw breath.
For now, her heartbeat would be enough. The air in her lungs would be enough.
Life, true Life, is about soul. To Live is to do what sets your soul on fire.
She could set her soul on fire tomorrow, or the day after, or two weeks from now. For now, simply being alive would be enough.
"What do we do now?" Judith asked some hundred lifecycles later.
"We wait for her to wake up."
Days twelve and thirteen passed in a blur.
She didn't wake up.
The Twin Isles were underwhelming, which was exactly what we needed.
Estelle was still sensitive to light and sound when we arrived and was wandering around like a puppy, trying to be as helpful as she could be in her state. I wasn't too concerned about her until she was ashy enough that I could see all of the veins in her arms and face.
I set her up with an herbal tea blend that Valerian had given me the recipe for to help soothe her headache, then told her to hide in my room, stay away from people, and keep the lights off for a while. Delta went with her.
President Kaufman, for what it was worth, offered no apologies, explanations, or excuses. From the cold shoulder she was getting from the rest of our ragtag little crew, I gathered that I was the only one who appreciated it.
Besides, wasn't this the business that Brave Vesperia had signed up for? Protecting the shipment for Fortune's Market? There was no promise of safety, and there was no guarantee that we would all get to our destination in one piece.
Not that Rita was Brave Vesperia. Neither was Estelle. Delta and I may walk that thin line of technicality, but those two were firmly camped on the Imperial side. But Jude had made a point when we had this discussion earlier.
We all had to live with the decision we made to get on the boat. Some of us were just paying a heftier price.
The Isles were largely untamed, but there was a small encampment on the one we had docked at. Apothecary Corner, it seems, had set up shop in the area, utilizing the wildness of the space for its natural resources. Apothecary Corner meant Fortune's Market, which meant we would have no issues with restocking for the rest of the journey to Nordopolica.
"How far are we, anyway?" I asked Karol as we followed Yuri, carrying crates of assorted fruits and vegetables aboard the Fiertia.
"Two more days, I think?" His face screwed up in thought. "Time is all wonky right now."
"Time is always wonky," I said, heaving my crate down on the floor of the kitchen. "It's nothing more than a weird soup."
Karol gave me a confused look that melted into one of concern. "Yeah. Right. Run that by me again?"
"She called it a soup," Yuri tossed over his shoulder. It was the first I'd heard him acknowledge me in days.
Karol sighed. "No, I heard it the first time."
I shrugged as best I could while carrying the crates. "Time is weird - it's always changing, always in flux. All of our experiences, actions, and choices are mixed together in a," I hummed, searching for the right words, "a non-linear, unpredictable way. Like, the past, present, and future all exist at the same time - they aren't neatly separated. They interact and influence one another. One can't exist without the others."
Karol was silent until we got all the way to the Fiertia's back stock room. Once we got there, he peered at me closely. "Did you hit your head too?"
"It's a metaphor, Karol."
"Are you alright? Do you need to talk to the AC crew?"
I rolled my eyes and heaved my crate down. "I'm fine."
"Are you though?" He handed his to Yuri, who placed the crate on top of mine. "We've been asking a lot of you."
Yuri breathed sharply out of his nose and turned back toward the door. I took the hurt that pooled in my throat and sharpened it to blades.
"What," I snapped, "like keeping Rita's heart beating? No sweat."
But Karol was unfazed by the sudden heat in my voice. "Yeah. You must be tired."
"No more tired than any of us," I muttered. While I had been on medical duty, the rest of the team had been working tirelessly to fill in the gaps left in the guard shifts. The adrenaline of escaping the undead had crashed long ago, but there had been no rest for our wicked crew. This was the first moment that we really had to breathe.
"Well, you're not a healer," Karol said simply, "and you're doing what you can without magic. The fact that she's alive is amazing."
I scoffed. "If I was amazing, she'd be awake, and Estelle would be fine, and we wouldn't have had to stop at this fucking island."
Yuri's second sharp exhale was painful in my ears. When I threw a glance his way, his back was turned. Asshole.
My jaw tightened as I strained to keep my frayed emotions in check. I wasn't mad at Yuri. I wasn't mad at Karol. I wasn't mad at having to stop for diagnostics on the blastia.
"Either way, you've done a great job, Is," Karol said softly and started pushing Yuri out of the room. He didn't even look back. "I just thought you should know."
I waited until he was gone, the echo of the closing door long faded before I let the tears fall.
When we finally arrived in Nordopolica two days later, we played a big game of divide and conquer.
Karol took Repede and headed out with Kaufmann to whatever outpost of Fortune's Market existed in the Duce's domain in order to sort out whatever payment and end-of-contract paperwork there was to sort out. Yuri stayed with the Fiertia to register the presence of Brave Vesperia with the Pallestralle dock representatives. Which was a wild thing to think about. Guild business seemed like way too much paperwork.
Judith, at least, had the foresight to ask the representative where to find the nearest healer, and asked about sixteen rapid-fire questions before the man could even answer the first. He ended up giving her a Pallestralle medallion that would help stress the urgency of the matter to whatever person he sent her to find.
I was nominated to escort Estelle off the boat and through town to secure rooms at the Inn that the representative recommended. He handed us another medallion and shooed us on our way. Delta elected to stay with Yuri and the Fiertia, which I didn't think twice about. Rita was still unconscious in her room, and Delta had become wildly protective of the little mage since her injury.
Raven came with me to help with Estelle, and we guided her carefully through the bustling streets of the heart of Nordopolica. The Inn that the Pallestralle representative had recommended was nestled into the side of the Colosseum, so we got an up close view of the famed structure as we approached.
Once we got settled in the room we'd chosen for the girls, Estelle tried to give her little encyclopedia spiel about Nordopolica. I laughed at her attempt to shoo me out of the room to go explore the famous Coliseum.
"You're recovering from a concussion. I'm not leaving you here alone." She was also the Imperial Princess, and the thought of leaving her injured, on her own on a foreign continent, and in a guild city was frightening, to say the least.
She gave a tired smile, but waved me on. "And you have been a wonderful help during this recovery. I have the tea you gave me and everything." I tried to protest, but she was adamant. "I'm capable of boiling water, Isa. I'll just rest here afterward and wait for you to return."
I rolled my eyes. "Estelle -"
"You need a little bit of space," she said, sounding wiser than she should have. "I wouldn't mind a bit of space myself."
It still didn't feel right to leave her on her own, but she had a point. And it would be a lie if I said I wasn't curious about exploring the area.
"I won't be long. Don't get kidnapped while I'm gone."
'Why would you even joke about that?'
"I'll do my best!"
"Because it's funny," I said under my breath as I headed for the door. "Plus she'll actually take it seriously."
Nordopolica was an interesting place. The Colosseum looked pretty much as I had pictured, but there was a whole little marketplace built into the first floor - that's where our Inn was for our stay. There were little stalls and shops littered around the circular path.
One of these shops was a bakery, which I absolutely stopped in and blew an absurd amount of gald on pastries for our group.
Founded long ago by Pallestralle, the Colosseum stood towering above the rest of the city like a weathered sentinel keeping watch - a titan of time and history. Its massive stone arches were carved from the marble and limestone that these hills were once flush with. Every archway a vein, every corridor an artery, pulsing with the memories of the countless souls who have dared to tread upon these sacred stones, leaving their indelible mark on this Colosseum's heart.
This ancient amphitheater was a monstrous, hallowed vessel of stories etched in stone where the echoes of long-lost gladiatorial clashes still reverberate through the annals of time - a haunting, primal symphony of courage and cruelty. The sand that lines the Pit is stained to rust as it drinks the blood of heroes and villains alike. This place is a tapestry woven with the threads of intertwined fates painting a harrowing image both of valor and despair.
Beneath this massive structure, catacombs and chambers conceal the secrets of Pallestralle and their Duce, nothing to the untrained eye but a labyrinth of shadows and
Nordopolica's Colosseum is a time machine, a portal to an era long past where the spirits of warriors seem to stir with every gust of wind - as though the stones themselves whisper their tales of triumph and tragedy to each passerby.
At least, that's what the inscription by one of the Colosseum's many entrances read.
A woman by the entrance to the Pit was handing out flyers for an upcoming Tournament of Champions that would take place in just a few day's time. I took one with a nod, then folded it and shoved it in my bag. Depending on how long it took for Rita to be back on her feet, we would need something to help kill the time. Maybe we would stay and watch some knuckleheads beat the shit out of each other.
Beyond that, I didn't travel too far. The exhaustion hit me out of nowhere, and suddenly even just carrying the weight of the snacks I'd grabbed was too much. There was a market on the other side of the docks and a whole city to explore, but those could wait for another time. It was all too much.
I ran into Raven on my way back to the rooms. There was a piece of paper in his hand one second, and the next second it was gone. His purple jacket swished as he folded his arms inside his sleeves.
"Wouldn't even let me see her," he grumbled.
I handed him one of the bags and felt just the slightest bit lighter. "See who?"
"The Duce." He peeked into the bag, and I had to smack his hand when he tried to sneak a pastry out. "They wouldn't let me see her, even after I said I had a message to pass from the Don!"
Huh. "The Duce is a female?"
Raven almost tripped over his feet. "Of course she is. Do you know anything about Pallestralle?"
"Beyond the fact that they run Nordopolica?" I shrugged. "Not really."
He looked almost disappointed as he slung an arm around my shoulder. "Izzy, darlin'. So young and naive. So much to learn."
I just rolled my eyes. "I don't see how me not knowing things about a guild that exists on a different continent than I've lived my whole life on makes me naive."
Raven just sighed, the drama queen. "Uncultured young'un. How do ya even survive?"
"Just fine, so far."
He gestured out toward some imaginary horizon. "Imagine how much better ya'd be if you had someone to teach ya the ways 'a the world."
I laughed and slipped out from under his arm. "Oh, and you're so wise?"
His eyes sparkled, but his voice was sincere when he said, "I've seen more of the world than ya know, hun."
"Yeah," I said, patting his arm gingerly. "I know, old man. Now, let's get you inside before it's past your bedtime."
"Hey! I ain't that old."
I just grinned. "Age might be just a number, but that bedtime is the real deal."
He shivered as I unlocked the door to the girls' room. "Yer cold sometimes, dear."
"Frigid bitch, that's me," I said and motioned for him to come in.
Estelle was dozing in the chair by the window, so we did our best to keep quiet until everyone else returned. We resumed a long forgotten chess match, falling into the habit we'd created while out at sea. Playing with Raven like this brought an air of calm to the room that I hadn't realized that I had been missing. It was a welcome release from the tension of the past few days.
Judith and Yuri came back first.
Rita was transferred to the medical ward of the Coliseum, where she would be treated by the Pallestralle healers. Karol arrived about an hour after that with the good news that the cost of the healers would go on a tab to be paid by Fortune's Market's gald.
Apparently there was some clause called "Occupational Hazards" in that contract that Karol and Kaufmann had drafted about 'acceptable injury while on duty.' The Pallestralle official that they had gone before to tie up the contract had a field day tearing into the fine print of the clause when he'd heard about Rita. Since the undead hadn't been written into the clause, Kaufmann's guild would have to cover the expense of the recovery.
"Either one of you," I nodded to the actual members of Brave Vesperia, "needs to switch over to a desk career, or you need to hire some great lawyers."
"Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork and fancy words, isn't it," Karol said with a sigh. "They talked circles around me the whole time."
When the wave of adrenaline of the past two weeks finally crashed, the exhaustion crept back in. This was a soul deep kind of tired, the kind that sleep might not make a dent in. The boys said their goodbyes and headed back to their room, and Estelle all but collapsed into the bed that she had claimed.
The empty space in that second bed was a cavern. Estelle acted as though she might fall for a thousand years if she got too close in the way she kept to the edge. It made her look so small.
I crawled slowly into bed, turned the light off, and tried to just not think about who was missing.
At least when we were on the FIertia and fighting for her life, Rita had been nearby. Having her just not be there was … wrong. Everything felt so wrong and twisted and -
Judith's red eyes were impossible to ignore, their gaze burning my back. I threw her a quick glance over my shoulder, and knew that she was thinking along a similar line.
I moved over and motioned Estelle into the bed with us.
Neither Judith nor I made any move to embrace her, but she didn't seem to mind. She climbed up from the foot of the bed so as not to disturb us and tucked herself into the safety of our presence.
"Thank you," she whispered in the darkness.
We allowed the darkness to answer back with a heavy silence. It wrapped around us, an extra blanket against the cold of the coastal air.
After a moment, Estelle curled up against the small of my back, making herself impossibly tiny. There was a deep, shuddering sigh, blown hot against my neck as she settled in. I waited until her breathing evened out before I allowed myself to start to drift.
It was the easiest I'd slept in weeks.
