Roman can't watch his father being carried into the mausoleum. For the second time that day, he bottles it and retreats to the back of the car, which is empty apart from the driver in the front. He leans back against the leather interior, closing his eyes, letting the humiliation sink in.
Later that day ATN will air a sanitised version of the funeral, with Ewan's speech and Roman's meltdown excised. It will look like only Ken and Shiv spoke. It doesn't matter though, all the important people were there to witness him falling apart. Gerri was there. His father was there.
He knows exactly what his dad would say in response to his number two boy blubbering all over his coffin. Oh, I wuv my daddy. Don't be such a faggot, Romulus.
The knowledge that his father would be ashamed of his emotions only serves to send more tears rolling down his cheeks. The driver clears his throat from the front seat.
Mencken had shaken Ken's hand on the way out of the church. That was perfect. He hadn't so much as looked at Roman. Matsson of all people had patted Roman on the shoulder as he walked past, whispering I get it dude. Fuck him, he's not having the company.
Even fucking Frank had looked at Roman with pity, like he was still a child having a tantrum on the floor because his daddy wouldn't let him stay up with the grown-ups and Kendall.
His hands grip the seat beneath him. He remembers the incident Shiv mentioned recently, when Roman had spilled chocolate milk all over the back seat. Kendall had quickly yelled out to his dad that Shiv had done it. Two against one. I had to say that or he would have hit Rome, he explained to her later. You could have said it was you, she pouted. He wouldn't have believed me.
Big brother, always cleaning up Roman's messes.
His thoughts are interrupted by the car door opening and Shiv climbing in beside him. He quickly wipes his face.
"You okay?" she asks, looking at him. She looks puffy and well, pregnant. How had he not noticed until today? What a self-absorbed asshole he is.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He sniffs, not meeting her eyes.
She takes his hand. "It'll be okay, Rome." She sounds sincere, although he's sure she has her own agenda.
He lets his eyes wander through the window, back to the outside of the mausoleum. His father is in there, for the rest of time. Can we get him out?
