Chapter Nine

One Week Later

"That's your third," Max reminded Georg as the two old friends visited at a Burlington steak house. "You two are still arguing? It's been a week!"

"We're not arguing," Georg replied. "I wish it were that I think I could handle it. We have had our share of battles but this…All I keep thinking about is when? When was this? Why was this? How did I miss it?"

"Did you ask her?" Max asked. "You go home smelling like that and you are going to have more trouble than you bargained for. Put the cigarette out and order a coffee. You and Maria have had problems before, you fought it out, you made up and were stronger for it. Are you sure you didn't overreact to what Maria said?"

"How would I over react to "I almost left your father" to be closely followed by "Sometimes I don't like you."

"Well, you are a peach, Georg," Max laughed. "I'm sure it was hard to hear, but you told me on the phone Maria wanted to explain and you weren't ready to listen. By the way you are behaving now, I assume that's still true."

"What is there to say?" Georg replied. "It comes down to this, and no matter how I have tossed this over in my head, I can't get to a point where this one aspect of it goes away. I never could have ever been in a place no matter where we were in the marriage that i would have ever felt that I didn't want to be married anymore. No situation ever, so I'm wondering now, does she feel about me the way I do her?"

Max shook his head, "Georg, stop it. You know Maria loves you. You know she loves you."

"Lots of different ways to love someone, Max," Georg replied as he finished his drink. "I think you're living proof of that, are you not?"

Georg had known since Navy days that Max preferred males over females, though Georg believed Max when he said he never thought of Georg in that way. Still, that didn't mean he didn't love Georg as a brother and friend.

Max nodded his acceptance of Georg's answer, "Well, I don't think that is the case here. I think Maria hurt you and now you are angry and confused, and perhaps rightly so, but you have so much invested in this marriage. Years of good and bad, children, grandchildren…all those vows, you've done them all twice over. Just break the ice, your ice, and talk to her."

"I have talked to her," Georg replied so quickly Max knew he didn't get through.

"Then listen to her," Max advised more so he could say he advised it later when it worked than because he thought there was a chance it would actually be done at this stage. Georg had his heels dug in, and when he got like this, the only person in the world that could unseat him was the very person he was angry with to begin with.

Max signaled the bartender, "I thought you said I should quit at three?"

"Oh, my old friend, you should. This one is for me…" Max did his shot and paid the tab. Now Georg knew he was in the Twilight Zone.

Maria sipped her tea as she sat across from her friend Mary Kate. They had been friends since the family settled in Stowe. She was five years older than Maria and an immigrant from Ireland. They met at the church and had become fast friends. Mary Kate had been a good sounding board for Maria and Maria for her. They were both married to men older than they were with hot tempers and stubborn streaks a mile long. They understood one another the way Georg and Max understood each other.

"I'm sorry, Maria," Mary Kate sighed as she too sipped a cup of tea. "I had thought certainly that the two of you would have worked things out by now."

"So did I," Maria replied. "I know I took him by surprise and I know I hurt him so much, but we have never not been able to fight it out. I mean we have had some explosive arguments but never did we just stop talking like this, stop relating except for…when I nearly left."

"Why did you?" Mary Kate asked. "You came to me then and we spoke then, but all you said you needed was time to think. I didn't push it, but perhaps you can talk to me now?"

Maria shut her eyes. "I had just given birth, and it took time for me to…adjust that time. With the girls it was easy, Georg was home, teaching locally, we were doing well."

"And then?" Mary Kate prompted. "We can figure this out Maria. I'll have Luca talk to him if you want."

Maria shook her head, "No, it won't matter much. When Georg gets like this, it takes time. It's only he doesn't get like this with me. The silence is…"

Mary Kate reached out and took Maria's hand. "Tell me what happened, Maria."

"It was all in my head, really," Maria replied. "I know Georg too well, but just knowing he was with…"

Mary Kate's eyebrows nearly shot into her hairline. "Are you saying that Georg…"

"No," Maria hastened to assure her friend. "Oh no, no never. He had this WAC officer that worked with him. Beautiful, worldy, intelligent and I would see them talk when he had her to the house and see them laugh…He never looked at her like he looks at me, I see that now, but then I felt…When he had to go away, some lecture thing, I don't even remember what it was for she was going too. I asked him not to go, to stay here with me and the children. I was having a hard time recovering and I was scared to be alone, scared he would leave me alone. Only he went anyway and that's when in my head I felt if I was going to be lonely I might as well do it by myself."

Tears ran down Maria's face as she spoke. She never verbalized her feelings about this before. She kept it all inside. "I didn't want to be married anymore, I didn't want to be a mother anymore, I didn't want to be me…I was lost and I needed Georg to find me like before…only he didn't. This time he didn't know, didn't see and…he had always seen. We had always seen."

December 1942

"Darling, can you help me with the strand of lights?" Georg asked Maria as she stood staring off into the firelight. They were decorating the tree for Christmas morning after they wrapped the few gifts they managed to acquire for the children.

Maria didn't answer. Georg took one look at his wife and knew what was on her mind. It was on his mind too, very much so. Georg put the string down and went to take Maria in his arms. "I know," he whispered. "I know. I've been feeling it all day. I know."

Maria cuddled into her husband's arms and inhaled his familiar, comforting scent. Friedrich was deployed to the South Pacific and would not be with the family. Maria had toyed with not celebrating the holiday, it felt empty to her, amongst the travesty of world war. Georg wanted to press on for the little ones, to make their memories of this precious time and Maria agreed he was right.

"You've been unhappy,' Georg whispered. "I'm sorry. Perhaps it was foolish of us to try this given the deployment was so recent, but our girls are so young and they deserve…Still, they can't miss too much, all they understand is the Christmas lights."

"I…Georg, I don't know. I don't know, I have never felt like this before. Why…Why did he feel he had to fight? Why couldn't he have stayed with the university?"

Georg understood, he understood Friedrich had to find himself a good place, a good footing for this new life. He also understood Maria and how confused the mixture of emotions made her.

The only thing that made Maria feel comfortable was Georg's embrace. She felt safe there and she remembered their escape from Austria. Georg had been on full alert, like a tiger, always ready to pounce if needed. She had been there for him then. She could sense the tension in his body and held him close to her to help soothe it with her kiss.

Now, he soothed her soul, they needed each other as much as they loved each other.

"That ended up being one of our best Christmases'" Maria replied. "We made love to each other for hours after we finished decorating and the children had a lovely time making cookies and popcorn balls. He grounded me and I had come to expect it. So when I didn't feel it, I…took things too far."

Mary Kate nodded in understanding. "After I had each of my girls, I had times like that, when no one or nothing seemed to make me happy, only I had a temper and it showed. Luca had to reign me in a few times for losing my patience. I think the whole thing just puts us off balance sometimes. When I had my boys, I was okay. Maybe for you it was the opposite?"

Maria nodded her agreement that could be it. "I just don't know how to fix this, Mary Kate. I can live with his anger, but not the silence. He wants to be alone, he doesn't want to try to talk it out. What do I do?"

Mary Kate stood up and started clearing off the tea table. "Well, you can't unring a bell. All you can do is wait him out or pull him out. Personally, I'm a puller. Tell him you are going to see Liesl for a couple days, give him the space. Let him miss you."

Maria bit her lip, Georg hated it when they were apart. He wanted her nearby most of the time since he got older, their newlywed period he called it. Still, perhaps giving him an entire house full if space would be what he needed to get him talking again.

Maria decided to wait three more days. If Georg hadn't opened up by then, she would indeed try to push him out.

A/N: Another one in the bag for you guys. Georg and Maria are still struggling but I hope there is more insight to what was happening.

Yes, Maria was suffering from PPD but they didn't know much about that in the 60s, even now it is often hard to diagnose and harder to treat.

No worries we will be getting back to Brigitta and her situation soon.

Don't forget to drop a review given there are STILL no traffic stats.

See ya next week. Hopefully new story coming out later this week let's see if I can control it, lol.

Georg had been sleeping in the spare room since all of this happened. The doubt he had about the fundamentals of their marriage was overwhelming. He had a lot of rough times in his life but nothing, not even losing Agathe felt quite like this. Maria was his rock. She got him through all of those problems, all of those trials. Had he leaned on her too much? Had he abused this strength?

Georg put his head in his hands and sighed. It had to be after Johnny was born, she said as much, but nothing he could think of…it just wouldn't come to him.

Sometimes Georg wished to have the old days back. When they had just settled in the house and the kids were young. There was magic then, and no fear, not like he had lately.

His biggest fear was being alone. He had been alone so much of his life. On the ship, when Agathe died, when he was traveling for work in America. He wanted this time to be special, to be the newly wedded period of their lives they never had because he had children. This was not supposed to be like this.