Read the endnotes.
AAAA
The days passed quickly. Addison resigned herself to spending the week away from the hospital and it wasn't as bad as she expected. She rested, read, had retail therapy and took the time to take care of herself.
Lots of phone calls with Savvy, Nancy and Naomi (where the subject of Derek was banned). A few visits from Callie, a great Sunday with Miranda and little Tuck... And daily nocturnal visits from Alex Karev, complete with ice cream, chips and surprisingly relaxed conversations. In the end she feels much stronger and the stress is out of her system.
It's Monday and Addison gets ready excitedly. She will have a prenatal appointment where she can see her baby and then return to work. It has everything to be a great day. That's what Addison thinks as she applies her makeup in front of the bathroom mirror, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Not expecting anyone, the redhead quickly opens the door and is surprised to find herself face to face with Derek. Standing in the doorway holding two Starbucks cups and with a soft smile, Derek speaks.
"Good morning!"
"What are you doing here?"
"We have na appointment with the obstetrician today, don't we?"
"I have na obstetrician appointment today."
"Addie, don't be like that. I brought Juju!"
Derek states raising the two glasses he holds and smiling brightly.
"Juju can come in, you can't."
"We agreed that I will be part of our son's life."
"That was when we were civilized. Not after you broadcast my personal issues to the entire hospital."
"I made a mistake, okay? I admit that I could have handled things differently, but it was a shock. Not even in my worst nightmares did I imagine you pregnant with Mark!"
Addison lowers her eyes, managing to understand his point of view. She then moves away from the door and makes room for him to enter. Derek smiles and speaks with a slightly smug tone.
"Thanks."
"Wipe that smile off your face and sit down while I finish getting ready."
"Have you had coffee yet?"
Derek asks, but Addison enters the bathroom ignoring him. He continues.
"Are you going back to work today?" Silence. "Were those days off good?" Silence. "Is the nausea very difficult?" Silence.
Derek sighs and gets up irritated. He approaches the bathroom door and asks, crossing his arms.
"Are you going to keep ignoring all my questions?"
Once again she doesn't respond, just continues to face the mirror, curling her long eyelashes. Derek sighs frustrated and irritated, then decides to be as annoying as her and stands still in the same position staring at her.
It doesn't take long for Addison to finish what she's doing, she turns to leave the room, but Derek is blocking the door, still in the same position. Outraged she asks.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Waiting for you to decide to stop ignoring me."
"Good luck! I waited for this for six months in a horrible trailer."
"You asked. I won."
Derek talks to a little boy. Addison rolls her eyes and ignores him again, indicating that she wants to leave the bathroom. Derek gives her space and then she takes the bag in order.
"Let's go."
Derek nods and follows her out of the room. Addison strides forward, her heels clicking on the floor, her loose hair bouncing, as Derek hurries to keep up. They enter the elevator together and it is at that moment that Derek approaches her, he puts her against the wall, holds her hand and asks softly.
"Can we call a truce?"
"I'm not doing anything."
"You're being passive aggressive."
Derek speaks pointedly. Addison rolls her eyes and tries to let go of her hand, but he keeps holding her and insists.
"Please, let's have peace and see our son today, then you can hate me all you want."
The way he asks it shouldn't be, but it makes her falter and so she nods with a soft smile. Derek also nods, mirroring his smile and that's when the elevator stops on the underground parking floor.
Addison is the first to get out and starts walking towards her car. With furrowed eyebrows, Derek calls her still in front of the elevator and speaks as she points to the other side of the parking lot.
"My car was left there."
"We're going in separate cars."
She says simply, before turning around again and walking again. Derek gives up on another argument and heads towards his own car.
AAAAA
They arrive at the building practically together and go in silence to the reception. The wait lasts no more than tem silent and tense minutes, until Doctor Gilbert calls Addison's name. They enter the office where they are warmly greeted by the older man. Both are friendly, trying to disguise their own strange atmosphere.
After a few words exchanged, the obstetrician asks Addison to lie down on the exam bed, he spreads the gel on her belly, making her shudder. Derek hesitates in fear of rejection, but reaches out to hold her hand, surprisingly she fits her fingers with his. Soon the incredible image of the baby fills the screen, making them smile like the first time they saw him. In moments the strong and rhythmic sound of the heartbeat takes over the room and Addison has to fight back tears, even more so when Derek bends down and kisses her temple. Doctor Gilbert takes some measurements and explains a few things, ensuring that the baby is fully healthy and that she is entering her eleventh week.
When the exam is over, Derek helps Addison clean up and off the table, moving to the chair while she adjusts her clothes.
Soon the two are in front of the doctor again and Addison hands him her blood tests. After calmly analyzing them, the man assures her that everything is fine with her. He then asks.
"Any different symptoms? Very strong nausea? Increased tiredness?"
"Anything." Addison assures. Derek snorts at that moment and receives a dirty look from the redhead. The obstetrician furrows his eyebrows and asks.
"Is there a problem, Derek?"
"She didn't have any different symptoms, she just passed out in the middle of a wash room last week."
"Pregnant women faint, Derek!"
"And they also need to be kept away from work due to dehydration and stress?"
Derek asks rhetorically. Addison retorts in a sharp tone.
"Do you want me to tell the doctor why I'm stressed?"
"You tried too hard in surgery and you know it."
"We both know it was much more than that."
Addison states with na accusatory look.
Embarrassed and confused by the scene in front of him, Gilbert lightly knocks on the table. The ex-couple turns towards him again, and he sighs before speaking.
"I'm sorry. Derek, I appreciate you keeping me informed, but Addison is right. Fainting is normal for pregnant women, plus her tests are great and there's no reason to worry."
"Thanks."
Addison states with a smug smile. The doctor nods, but continues.
"Addison, I know you know your body and its limits, but I still ask for caution. The baby needs you to take it a little easier, I'm not asking you to stop working or operating, just to gradually decrease the rhythm."
She nods. And then the doctor dismisses them, saying he's just a call away if necessary and that they shouldn't come back until the following month.
AAAAA
Addison hurriedly leaves the office, passes the reception in the same way and without saying a word is inside the elevator. Forcing his steps to reach her, Derek manages to enter before the doors close and asks irritably.
"You weren't going to wait for me?"
"So you could ambush me again?"
"I wasn't ambushing you. I'm worried about you and our baby."
"I know my limits, Derek. Besides, you know what made me sick that day."
"I know. And I told you I'm sorry."
"Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you say those words?"
Derek looks down not knowing what to say. The moment the elevator stops, he gives Addison room to get out and continues talking.
"I paid my respects to the Craines."
His words catch her by surprise and make her turn around quickly. She waits for him to explain himself and he does.
"I introduced myself as their husband and said we were sorry about the baby. They are grateful to you for trying."
"Thank you for doing this."
"You do not need to thank me."
She nods and finally reaches his car. When she goes to unlock the door, opens her bag and hands him the ultrasound photo, she smiles slightly as she says.
"You won't need to hide this one."
"I'll put it in my office. Thanks."
"See you at the hospital, Derek."
"We could have lunch together."
"No."
"To celebrate."
"I don't want to have lunch with you."
"So much for being civilized."
"We are not civilized."
Without saying anything else, she gets into the car and starts it, leaving it parked in the parking lot. Derek lets out a heavy sigh, stares at the grainy image of his son and a sad smile graces his face as he heads to his own car.
AAAAA
Sitting in front of the computer organizing some medical records, Addison is easily distracted by the presence of Alex, who just passes by her, carrying a patient. She stares at the younger man intently, thinking about the times they've had together over the past week. It's getting harder and harder to push him away and pretend like she's okay doing this.
She only stops staring at him when she notices Callie approaching. The resident leans over the counter and speaks in a humorous tone.
"You know those cartoons where a bear or other hungry animal looks at its prey and it turns into a delicious turkey with scent lines coming out of it?"
"Stop stop! I didn't look at him like that! Because he's na inmate and I'm not sleeping with na intern!"
Addison says indignantly, getting up from her chair. The moment she takes off her glasses, Callie speaks smiling.
"I married one."
"What?!"
"It was in Las Vegas. My idea, I like what's cheap."
"Look, I'm very happy for you. But why did you get married so quickly?!"
"You know those drawings where there's a hungry bear?" So it was just seeing a beautiful intern..."
"Congratulations!"
Addison says excitedly, pulling the brunette into a hug. As they walk away, the redhead begins to analyze her friend's wedding ring. Callie tries to justify that it's small, but Addison claims that it's beautiful. The two stare at each other for a few moments and then Callie asks.
"How are you? Or rather you?"
"We're fine. Spending this week at home calmed me down, put things into perspective."
"Is the staff treating you better?"
"I haven't gotten any dirty looks yet while I've been here."
"What about Shepherd?"
"We had a truce this morning because of a consultation, but it didn't last long."
"What the hell!"
"I'm tired of trying to be okay with him, you know? I just want to focus on this baby here and the incredible life we'll have together."
Addison states rubbing her belly as a soft smile graces her face. Callie smiles back before her pager beeps and she runs away.
AAAA
Addison's morning goes smoothly. She gives some consultations, schedules some procedures for the next few days and the best thing is that the atmosphere with the other hospital employees seems much lighter. She learned from Alex that the day after her breakdown, Richard violently exploded at the team and difficult truths were told to the people who had been trampling on her.
In the back of her mind, Addison can rationalize that what happened to the baby would happen with a full team, but on the day it wasn't that simple. She was deeply stressed from so many horrible days at work, from everyone treating her so badly, and the moment she lost that baby and thought about her baby and everything else, she lost control. It was too much. So part of her blames herself for the terrible conversation that Alex described, but another part is grateful that things are better, she couldn't take the cold war climate that had been created any longer.
Addison's morning tranquility diminishes when news of the toxic patient begins to spread throughout the hospital. She is a little scared, even more so when she learns that na entire surgical team has become unconscious because of the neurotoxins. Willing to stay as far away from any risk to the baby as possible, Addison will take care of her overdue medical records in the NICU.
YYYY
Derek, Mark and Preston enter the scrub room to prepare for surgery. As the plastic surgeon helps Preston into the hazmat suit, Derek watches through the glass. Suddenly, he interrupts Mark's explanation by saying:
"Anesthetic time is running out. She will wake up."
"If we go in now… Preston tries, but the neurosurgeon stops him, almost shouting.
"She's resisting intubation!"
"If we go in before the seal is in place we don't last five minutes and she dies."
"Preston won't be ready for two minutes."
"She doesn't have two minutes."
Derek states before running off. Mark calls his name, but he just runs into the room.
On the microphone Mark shouts- "Derek, get out of this place now."
"She's awake, Mark! Awake and open on the table! I have to know her weight so I can run the propofol."
Derek says everything almost at once as he moves around the operating table and picks up the syringe with the anesthetic.
"She looks like she's about 130 pounds."
Mark states, watching everything carefully.
Derek begins to feel the effects of the toxin as he anesthetizes the struggling woman.
He asks her to calm down a few times, says that everything will be fine and finishes the task with the last of his strength. Then Derek runs staggering out of the room, he almost faints when he reaches the door and Mark supports him and puts his arm around his shoulders as he supports him out of the room.
AAAAA
Her shift is almost over and Addison can't take filling out the charts anymore, deciding she can continue the next day, she puts everything away and leaves the NICU.
She finds Bailey in the lobby, the resident doesn't look very happy, but smiles when she sees her and approaches her affirming.
"It's good to see you back!"
"Thank you. How was your first day at the clinic?"
"A disaster. Just one patient and several doctors and nurses occupying the space because of the incident."
"I found out and hid in the NICU. I want this baby away from anything dangerous."
"If he's like his father, you'll have a lot of trouble with that in the future."
"What do you mean?"
"The patient woke up on the table before he and Preston were fully prepared for surgery. He went in without protection to anesthetize her again and arrived at the clinic carried by Dr. Sloan."
Addison's eyes widen at the information. Bailey touches her arm reassuringly.
"He's fine now. Just restoring oxygen."
"It wouldn't be Derek if he had done it differently."
Addison states with a soft smile, looking a little distracted. Miranda suppresses a strange look at her and apologizes.
"I need to check on some of the boss's patients. In the middle of this mess, he couldn't."
"Of course. I'm going to the hotel for some apple pie that I can't stop thinking about."
They smile at each other and then go on their way. But instead of getting her car from the parking lot, Addison crosses the street and enters the Denny Duquette clinic.
The place is practically empty. Two nurses talk in a corner. Addison walks over to the gurneys, where she finds Derek and Preston each lying on one, with their oxygen masks on. Preston is dozing off, but Derek is leaning over, one hand behind his head while the other holds the mask to his face. When he sees her, he removes the material from his face and smiles as he speaks.
"Hey Addie!"
"Hey how are you?"
"Well. I'll be able to go in a little while."
"It's him?" Addison asks waving in Preston's direction.
"He's fine too."
"Good. Miranda told me what you did for the patient. I wouldn't expect anything different."
Her smile is soft. Derek reciprocates, but adopts modesty.
"Anyone in my position would have done the same thing."
"I had to spend the whole day hiding in the NICU." Addison speaks softly.
"Because you're doing the most incredible thing anyone can do. You're carrying someone very special and that's it for nine months."
Derek says with a goofy smile. Addison smiles feeling the tears coming and he reaches out to her. Addison approaches and he touches her abdomen gently, her movement is hesitant, but when she doesn't move away, he caresses the spot where his son is.
"Did you come to see me?"
"Only because Miranda told me what happened."
"And you were worried."
"But I'm still mad at you!"
"I could have died today."
"That sentence won't lessen my anger, Derek!"
She speaks in a very Addisonian way that makes him laugh. The laugh causes him to cough and he has to put the oxygen mask back on. By instinct Addison starts stroking his curls and doesn't stop even when he calms down. At the same time, his hand never stops touching her belly. They just look into each other's eyes for long moments, until Derek breaks the silence by taking off his mask again.
"You'll be showing up soon."
"I know."
"I put the ultrasound photo in a picture frame on my desk."
Addison laughs at the unexpected phrase.
They continue the conversation about the baby for a few more minutes, speculating about what his eyes, hair, smile will be like... They don't even realize that Preston Burke is awake listening to them with a smile on his face.
"It's nice to be able to talk to you like this again, Addie. At least for a moment."
"It doesn't have to be just for a moment, Derek. You just...
"Do I get in the way?"
Meredith asks in a soft tone, appearing behind Addison and stopping her from completing her sentence. Addison moves away from Derek, almost bumping into the intern in the process and Derek has his hand suspended in the air for a few moments. Within seconds Addison pulls herself together, she smiles at Meredith and apologizes.
"Of course not. I was already leaving, I just came to check on Derek."
"No problem."
Meredith says with a tight smile. Addison then adjusts her bag, waves towards the couple and walks away at her usual pace.
Derek follows his ex-wife with his eyes. The softness of the conversation between them is still present on their faces. Still with his eyes closed, Burke no longer has a smile on his face.
AAAA
As they walk to the parking lot, Meredith asks, trying to keep her tone neutral.
"So you and Addison have na understanding?"
"I think so. I mean I don't know if she forgave me, or if I forgave her, but we managed to have a good talk today."
"And what was the theme?"
"The baby."
Derek says with bright eyes. Meredith nods and asks.
"Did she say anything about Alex?"
"What would she say about Alex?"
"He's in love with her. He hasn't told me, but Izzie's sure."
Meredith feels Derek stiffen next to her. He swallows hard and states as he stops next to the car.
"Addison won't reciprocate. He's na intern."
"And what's wrong with him being na intern?"
Meredith asks, irritation obvious in her tone. Derek lets out a long sigh and thinks about giving na answer, but gives up and just suggests.
"Let's just go to the trailer and rest. The day has been chaos."
"Would it bother you if Addison got into a relationship with Alex?"
"I would. He's not a man for her, much less someone I want around my son."
Derek admits and receives a reprimanding look from Meredith. He just gets in the car and she does the same. When they are both inside the vehicle, Meredith declares.
"Most people think I'm not the woman for you, but we're doing fine, Derek."
She then turns her gaze to the car window without waiting for a response from him. Derek doesn't disappoint her when he just starts the car without uttering a word.
Not far away, Addison and Alex eat apple pie while talking about their chaotic day at the hospital.
AAAAAA
I apologize for the long delay, but I've had a chaotic month at work, tackling two big projects.
I also apologize for any grammatical errors, remembering that my mother tongue is not English.
I can't Greys.
Your comments are always welcome here. ;)
