Hey guys, I got a message from someone telling me that the last chapter was too big (it was 11k characters, so yeah, they were right) so this is chapter 18 cut in half. That way it's more chewable for everyone. If you've already read it, the next chapter will be out soon, I promise.
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"Love was never meant to be easy, people fight, people make mistakes, people walk out and then decide to run back. When it comes to real love there is no limit to what you would do for one another. To protect, to provide, to profess. It's a lot harder to stay together than to fall apart, but the outcome of love is worth every second of it." -Melissa Molomo
~Chapter 19~
You've got a Friend in Me
The murmuring voices of the company and the glow from the glassless windows have me pausing. Cautiously, I approach the doorway of the room where the company is gathered. I hear the low murmur of their voices, and the air is heavy with tension. The door stands ajar, and I carefully peek inside to see what's happening.
The room is dimly lit, illuminated only by the soft, warm glow of a large fireplace where it looks like the company has been roasting sausages. A broken table lies to the side, and I worry it was broken in anger. The company is scattered around, some standing, while others sit on simple cushions on the floor or chairs. Thorin stands at the head of the room, his arms crossed over his chest, his face etched with frustration. Balin and Gandalf are engaged in a heated discussion, their voices strained. Seeing Thorin standing there, alive and breathing, with a healthy color to his skin, completely overwhelms me. It takes all of my willpower not to rush through the door and wrap my arms around his huge chest. The image of his bloodless white face on a black stone haunts my vision, and I squeeze my arms tighter around myself to stop myself from doing just that.
Bilbo sits on a cushion, his brows furrowed as he listens to the debate. I can't help but notice that the expressions of the dwarves are filled with worry and uncertainty. This is certainly a far cry from the jovial atmosphere I've grown accustomed to during my time with them.
I take a deep breath, push the door open slightly wider, and step into the room, trying to appear as composed as possible. All eyes turn toward me, and the company falls silent for a moment.
"Hi." I smile, a give a lame wave.
"You've returned," Gandalf says, his voice filled with a mixture of hope and frustration. Thorin's eyes lock onto mine, and the intensity of his gaze makes me feel as though he's trying to read my thoughts.
I step further into the room, nodding. "Yeah, I uh, ran into Galadriel on the way here. Got a little side-tracked."
"Galadriel is here?!" Gandalf asks in shock.
"Yeah, I didn't expect to see her either." I sigh, glancing around for a place to sit.
"Who is Galadriel?" Thorin demands.
I frown at him in confusion, "You've never heard of Galadriel? She has one of the three rings of power."
At that, Thorin's eyes flash with recognition, "The elf-witch." He states simply.
I raise my eyebrows at that but don't argue. Instead, I let out a low whistle as I walk to a nearby chair that Bifur opens up for me and take a seat.
And Galadriel thought MY thoughts were unkind.
"Gandalf told us that you have something to tell us?" Thorin prompts, expectant.
Darn it, I thought I could skip that part.
I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of my revelation and the encounter with Galadriel still heavy on my shoulders. "I know what the map says. We can still go on the quest."
The room falls even quieter, the only sound being the crackling of the fire. The company members exchange glances, their expressions a mixture of anticipation. Thorin steps forward, his eyes never leaving mine, "You told us that you couldn't read Ancient Dwarvish."
"I can't read ancient dwarvish." I hold out my hands in surrender, "And, as Elrond said, the map can't be read except by a certain moon. But I still know what the invisible portion of the map says, and therefore we can still reclaim your home." I feel calm. Or maybe it's because I feel drained? But even with Thorin looking at me like that, I can't help the relief coursing through me after these crazy events. He'll still be able to go on the quest and become King Under the Mountain once more.
"We could have avoided coming to the elves if you had simply told us what the map says!" Thorin growls, but I see his brain fighting opn whether to be relieved or angry as well. His quest miraculously isn't over, when in any other circumstance it would be.
I find it tragic that he'd want to avoid a beautiful place like this. The old Peyton would have argued with him over the ridiculousness of avoiding such a place, but I'm not her anymore. I don't want to fight with him, even if it gave me an addictive thrill to go toe-to-toe with the intimidating Dwarf King. I realize now that what I truly wanted in those arguments wasn't to fight exactly...but for him to see me as an equal. I'm not as strong, or as brave as he is, but I still wanted to assert myself mentally as someone who could keep up with him. I just had gone about it the wrong way.
Instead, of engaging in a heated argument, I reply calmly, "The company was exhausted after an entire night with trolls only to be chased by wargs. That, and our food supply is running low. If the elves hadn't killed the wargs and given us food then the quest would be at an end anyway. And we have no ponies."
Unable to counter my logic, Thorin resorts to glowering menacingly. But this time, I don't meet his glare with my usual defiance. I lower my eyes briefly before looking up at him, silently pleading.
Fili's curiosity breaks the tension as he speaks up, "So, what does the map say?"
I turn to him, drinking in the sight of his very alive face, "The moon runes say that with the last light of Durin's Day, the light will shine on the keyhole and the door will be revealed. Or something like that. There's also something about a bird knocking, but that's not important."
"Something like that?" Thorin echoes in dismay, "You don't know exactly what it says?!"
I flush, embarrassed, and immediately feel my defenses rising within me. But, all it takes is for an image of Thorin's dying face to flash in my mind once more and my defensiveness disappears like mist.
I gaze at Thorin tenderly, "I know that if you are at the mountain on Durin's Day and you find the grey stone where the door is located, then you will succeed. The map shows what side of the mountain the door is located, we just have to follow that and hope we find it."
Thorin falls silent, while Balin seems to regain his spirit and is adamant, "Durin's day! That's about four months from now and Summer is already upon us." He turns to Thorin, "We have to be at the right place at the right time. Then, and only then will we be able to open the door!"
Thorin weighs everything for a moment, "Alright, prepare your things and get some sleep. We leave at dawn." Relief replaces the crushed expression he had worn earlier. Urgency now fills his eyes.
The dwarves immediately get to work, filling the room with animated chatter and bustling activity. My room is a lot farther from the others, so I take this as my cue to leave. Just as I'm about to make my escape, Thorin appears at my side. "I'd like to speak with you. Alone," he says, his tone laced with a hint of frustration.
Alone? Aw, crap…
"Alright." I reply softly and step away from the door to allow him to lead the way. Glancing around for Gandalf, I hope that he might be able to come with us, but he is nowhere to be found. Perhaps he went looking for Galadriel? His strange expression when he realized she was here lingers in my mind.
Thorin walks ahead of me through an unfamiliar passageway in a part of Rivendell I haven't explored yet. I follow him, and as we pass by a statue, I glance up at it before stopping in astonishment. It's the statue that holds Isildur's broken blade! The moonlight causes the silver metal to shine with a pure white light.
I step up to it, filled with awe at the incredible story I have somehow become a part of, brought to life. As I gaze at the sword I can't help but smile. Part of me wants to reach out and touch it, just like I had with the book that brought me here. I keep my hands to myself this time.
"Isuldur's blade." I murmur, unable to contain my awe. "The one he used to defeat Sauron with."
Thorin, who had walked a few steps ahead, turns and regards me with annoyance. "Isildur's blade," he mutters, clearly irritated by the sudden halt.
I sigh. Now's as good a time as ever. "I'm sorry about the map," I begin, stepping away from the sword, my tone regretful. "I should have told you what it meant earlier."
Thorin's frustration is etched across his face as he steps closer to me. "You knew. You knew all along how to enter the Lonely Mountain, and yet you kept it hidden from me. Why?"
I take a deep breath, fixing my gaze on Thorin. "Technically, you all knew that I knew something about the map since Gandalf asked me about the runes back at Bilbo's house. I understand your anger, but I had my reasons for not revealing it sooner."
Thorin's anger intensifies, his voice rising. "And what reasons could possibly justify keeping such vital information from me? We wasted precious time coming to Rivendell when we could have been closer to our goal!"
Our eyes lock, and my voice thankfully remains steady but I can't conceal the tinge of sadness. "Because I was trying to follow the story. The story said we go to Rivendell, so we went to Rivendell."
Thorin's anger begins to waver, replaced by a flicker of confusion. He seems taken aback by my unwillingness to banter with him. It had kinda been 'our thing' up to this point and I had never held back before. He doesn't know how to respond to a meek and lowly Peyton. "What story?" he asks, his voice calmer.
Okay, here it goes. "The story about your quest for Erebor. It is written in a book in my world. It details your adventure. That is how I know what I know, and I was trying to follow that."
Thorin falls silent, studying me intently. "That's how you knew Elrond, Gandalf, Bilbo...and me." he says, more as a statement than a question.
I nod, confirming his observation.
"And you're not a seer, are you?" Thorin continues, folding his arms across his chest.
"No, I'm not," I admit gently. I had just seen Galariel's seer-like abilities and have a better idea of what a seer might look like to a dwarf. I definitely can't 'zone out' and speak in a strange voice.
Thorin huffs, his expression triumphant. "I knew it," He says, more to himself than anything.
I raise my eyebrows, surprised by his reaction, "You're not upset?"
"Oh, I am upset, Miss Peyton. But not because you aren't a seer." Thorin states firmly.
"Why did you claim to be a seer if you weren't one?" He continues, and I'm relieved to see that he's not angry anymore.
I sigh and give a shrug, "I didn't at first. The company came up with the term 'seer' and I didn't argue. After a while I just kinda accepted it. It was easier than explaining that I'm in a fictional story and none of you exist in my world."
We both stand there for a moment, wondering what to do now before Thorin finally shakes his head, "You should have trusted me enough to share this burden, Miss Peyton. We are...allies, are we not?"
I nod before pausing as I realize the conundrum we've found ourselves in. I want Thorin to trust me, but if I want trust, I have to give it. Sure, I told him about Azog. But I haven't told him the real reason I'm here. But it's a horrible risk, and I've already changed so much! I really shouldn't.
Come to know Thorin Oakenshield as a person, not as a character...Don't shut him out...Be a true friend...
I at least have to give him the option. It is his life on the line.
"Yes. We are allies." I walk up to him, bolder than normal. He stops, eyes on my face as I come closer until I stand immediately before him. I decide to speak in a language he'll understand, "And I make you an oath, Thorin Oakenshield. From this day forward, I promise to trust you by not hiding important information if you order me to tell you. But..." I make my eyes as sincere as possible, "Try not to do that."
"Why?" He asks intensely, blue eyes flitting across my face.
"Because you need to trust me as well. And if we're are going to take back the mountain, we need to keep everything as close to the original path as possible." I give him a look, "I don't know how I caused the wargs to be here before Rivendell, but if I'm going to change things that need to be changed, I have to be more careful with what I say and do."
"You still haven't told me what you came here to change," Thorin reminds me, giving an expectant look.
Images of Azog's sword being slowly shoved through his chest, and Bilbo's face as he sat beside him during his last breaths assault me. I clench my hands at my sides to keep them from reaching out for him. His eyebrows furrow, seeming to notice my reaction.
"Is it a dire need for you to know right now?" I whisper, afraid that he's about to test my oath. If he asks...then I have to tell him. Otherwise, my oath will have meant nothing.
He eyes are riveted on my face as he studies the torment that I'm suddenly exhibiting. His shoulders relax in disappointed acceptance, and he gently rumbles, "No." At my sigh of relief though, his gaze turns insistent, "But you will tell me eventually?"
I nod, recognizing that this IS him putting a small measure of trust in me. "I promise to tell you when the time is right."
Probably before Mirkwood. Just in case I don't survive that.
"Very well. We are allies, Miss Peyton. And allies do not keep secrets from one another." Thorin extends his hand towards me, a gesture of reconciliation and I stare at his hand in surprise, the first time I've seen a 'handshake' here in Middle Earth. Are handshakes used in oaths then, instead of greetings?
"Agreed, Mister Thorin." I smile, taking his warm hand in mine. The tension between us fades away, replaced by a renewed sense of trust and friendship. Something's changed between us and it's probably me, since I feel a protectiveness for him that I hadn't before. It's different from the other times we've made up, and it feels like the turning of a new leaf.
Thorin gives me a gentle nod, "Come, it is late and we must prepare to leave tomorrow."
This time he walks beside me, rather than leading the way, as we walk back the way we had come.
"So... do you really hate it here so much?" I ask him jokingly, feeling the need to fill the silence. "I know the food has no meat, but it's safe and comfortable. Not to mention very beautiful! And you can't forget the free part! In my world, you can't stay at an all-inclusive resort like this one for free."
He glances at me and then away, his hands clasped behind his back as we walk. "The elves and the dwarves have been at odds since the beginning of our creation. There have been times of peace and mutual understanding, but they never last. We're both too different." His voice holds no emotion, as if it's simply fact.
"Hmm, tell that to Gimli and Legolas," I mutter to myself.
"What was that?" Thorin asks.
"Nothing," I give him an innocent smile. He gives me a 'Thorin look' with intimidating eyebrows and I give him a 'Peyton look' with a tiny smirk. When he doesn't order me to tell him, my smirk widens into a genuine smile, happy to see that he has taken my words to heart and will only ask if he deems it absolutely necessary.
I turn to look out over Rivendell, where the moon casts a beautiful pale glow on the valley. A sense loss fills me as I realize how little time Rivendell has left.
I stop at the ledge, deciding to give Thorin a glimpse of the future after all. "Want to hear a 'prophecy'?" I joke, though the humor falls flat as I can't seem to take my eyes off the breathtaking pathways and lanterns below, as if they might vanish at any moment.
Isn't this what friends do? Share secrets? Thorin moves closer until he's standing beside me, also looking out over the moonlit valley. I take his silent gaze on my face as a cue to continue. "All of this will be gone in about fifty-five years," I say, a tinge of sadness in my voice. The idea that Rivendell will be empty and lose its magic is truly heartbreaking.
Thorin furrows his brow and looks out over the Valley of Imladris. "Why?" he finally asks.
"Lord Elrond and his people will leave Middle Earth, crossing the sea to never return. Eventually, all elves will disappear from Middle Earth," I explain, feeling the weight of the impending loss.
Thorin falls into thoughtful silence. While he doesn't seem to rejoice in the prospect, he doesn' appear too disheartened by it either. "And what of the dwarves?" he asks, his curiosity evident.
"I don't know," I frown thinking hard. Honestly, I only know what happens to Elrond because Frodo goes with them at the ending of the movie.
We are silent for a moment.
"You will like Erebor as much as Rivendell, I think." He says out of nowhere.
I look at him, surprised, "Really? And why's that?"
"You have a natural affinity for Dwarven culture."
"I also like Elven culture too, though." I contradict, not understanding where this is coming from. In what ways do I have an affinity for it?
"Ah, that must be the human side in you." He turns to me with mock severity although something in his eyes tells me that he's trying to joke, "Noone's perfect."
I raise my eyebrows and a choked laugh bursts out of me without meaning to. He's really bad at jokes. And it had come out of nowhere too. The melancholy mood leaves me though as his small smile appears, and we continue to walk together. We've almost reached the company's quarters.
I give him a playful glare, "I'm fully human if you didn't know."
"Are you certain? You are shorter than me." He's definitely teasing now.
"Only by a couple of inches!" I huff a laugh in surprise, lightly smacking him on the shoulder. He freezes and we stand there, in the shadows of Rivendell, watching each other. I just smacked him like I would I friend. I give him a shy, tentative smile. I'm supposed to be his friend…right?
Suddenly both he and I hear voices, and we both turn to see Lord Elrond walking with Gandalf. Gandalf's very clear, very loud, voice reaches us. "I…I really was going to tell you! I was simply waiting for this very chance! And…really, I-I think you can trust what I'm doing, at any rate!"
The strangely apologetic, almost defensive, tone in Gandalf's voice has both Thorin and I glancing at one another before focusing even more intently on the two figures walking in the moonlight below us.
"Do you?" comes Elrond's skeptical voice, still annoyed it seems. "That dragon has slept for 60 years. What will happen if your plan should fail? If you should wake the beast?"
"But what if we succeed, Elrond?! I happen to know we shall, in fact. This quest will change history!"
"And your confidence comes from Miss Silva, does it not?"
"Well, yes…it does. She knows the future after all."
"I know. But the future changes all the time, Gandalf, as evidenced tonight with the map. How can we be sure that the future she knows is reliable? Her mere presence here can change all things that come in contact with her, therefore making her knowledge obsolete."
I listen intently, feeling the weight of Elrond's words. He's not wrong, but Galadriel must not have told him that she paid me a visit and restored my foreknowledge. There are thankfully some things that will not change, and other things that must.
"But if the dwarves take back the mountain then our defenses in the east will be strengthened. That is why we must do this!"
Elrond is not convinced, "It is a dangerous move, Gandalf."
"Oh come now, Elrond! The throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright! What exactly is it that you fear?"
"Have you forgotten the strain of madness that runs deep in that family?"
My lips part in shock and I'm stunned before I quickly look at Thorin to gauge his reaction. He has become very still at my side. His expression is reminiscent of when I had said something similar back in Bag-End. Pained, but trying very hard to hide it.
He looks down and away from me, not meeting my gaze as his whole demeanor retreats back into his shell from the light-hearted teasing we shared. I can sense the anger and shame that he feels as these two dunderheads loudly proclaim to all of Rivendell, not even trying to speak quietly, that he's basically not fit to be King Under the Mountain because of mental illness.
Thorin seems to shrink into himself as memories that I can only guess at play in his mind of his Father and Grandfather. Oh, how I wish I had never said that to him back in Bagend! This is obviously a very tender and raw wound inside him. He undoubtedly thinks that I agree with Lord Elrond!
"Gandalf these decisions do not rest with us alone. It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth…" Elrond's and Gandalf's voices fade as they loudly take their opinions elsewhere.
Thorin also turns, about to leave.
Be his friend…
Without thinking of anything except his pain, I reach out and gently put my hand on his arm to stop him. His head quickly turns to me, looking surprised. I watch his face as I reach down and grip his warm hand in mine and squeeze it tightly. My focus unconsciously turns to the sensation of his skin against mine. His fingers are strong, with callouses on his palms from lifting swords and striking metal with hammers as he worked with his hands to provide for his people. There's an electric current passing between us that I struggle to ignore. It's almost funny. When I first met him, I told myself that I don't date delusional people…only strong, down-to-earth, hardworking men.
You can't get much more down-to-earth than a dwarf. Especially one such as Thorin Oakenshield.
Friend, Peyton. Fren-duh!
"I was wrong back in BagEnd on two accounts." I say quietly, "Firstly, because I have since remembered an Uncle who is schizophrenic, a Grandmother who has chronic depression, as well as a Great-Grandfather who had bouts of madness that caused him to physically abuse his children."
At Thorin's wide eyes, I nod sadly, "It's easy for me to forget that that particular aspect of my family exists. My family rarely, if ever, talked about it growing up, treating it as a deep dark secret to keep hidden under the dinner table. And because we never talked about it, I had forgotten until recently. Did your father or grandfather ever physically hurt your family?"
"No." He murmurs softly before his blue eyes harden and he turns his head away with a scowl, "Unless you count the innocent lives killed by the Dragon and then again at the battle of Azanulbizar."
I notice he doesn't remove his hand from mine.
I close my eyes and shake my head. "You are ten times the King your father or Grandfather was," I murmur to him, and he looks back at me. "And I know because of these…" I lift his hand up in mine and brush a thumb over one of the calluses on his palm causing his hand to twitch. I'm pretty sure I just imagined his throat bobbing, and I continue, "A good King serves his people. And from what I've heard snd witnessed since being in the company, you have served your people your whole life. Working to sustain them with your own two hands. The greatest leaders are those who serve those around them."
He says nothing, his blue eyes focused on me.
I smile at him and my voice becomes a sincere whisper, "And secondly, is that your people love you, Thorin! I see it in the company's eyes every time they look at you. And even if I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough evidence of your capability to rule."
I squeeze his hand before finally letting go. He's probably uncomfortable with how forward and personable I'm being. I can't help myself though. Thorin has become a rock in the middle of the ocean of uncertainty that I find myself in. More than Gandalf or even Bilbo. I feel safe knowing that he's around and I want him to feel safe with me as well.
I immediately feel the loss of warmth of his palm and fight against the desire to take his hand in mine once more.
"Thank you, Peyton." He says, so softly that the only way I can even hear it is because of the low rumble in his voice he can never seem to get rid of.
He said my name without the 'miss' in front of it! I don't draw any attention to it, and instead smile and nod happily.
He says nothing as we climb up to the doorway and go inside. The dwarves all look over at us, and I don't understand their expressions. Kili and Fili seem to be beaming at me. And Nori is smirking like there's a huge secret he knows. Did I interrupt something? Oh dear, I hope they didn't see us holding hands outside and assume something!
"Oh good! You're back! We were wondering if you two got lost." Bofur says louder than normal, looking between me and Thorin with a grin. "We got all the necessary supplies from the kitchen and cellars. Gandalf left a note for you on the table, Thorin."
Thorin nods and thankfully doesn't allow anyone else to ask any questions, his gaze severe, "We leave in the morning. Let's get some sleep."
"Aww, man!" I grumble half-heartedly to myself as I dramatically walk back out the door toward the direction of my room, "My first time in a bed on this journey and I only have one night to enjoy it!"
I hear the chuckles and amused scoffs from the company, and I smile into the night as I walk back to my room alone. It's a shame this isn't more like the story. We could have stayed a whole week here!
Now that I'm alone once more, my mind races as I try to dissect the haunting images of the pool. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I know one thing for sure: I can't let Thorin, Fili, and Kili die. I won't let that happen. I will change their fate, no matter what it takes.
End of Chapter
Did ya'll like the fluff or do you prefer the banter? Lol! Seeing someone's future death would change your perspective of them, I think. I wouldn't know cause I don't see the future, lol, but it seems a reasonable conclusion based on the fact that when someone almost dies it's sometimes a wake-up call. They usually give more importance to life and the people around them. And when someone we care about almost dies, we cherish them even more because we remember that life is fleeting and they can be snatched from us at any moment.
Whether you like it or hate it, go ahead and leave me a review! I'm always open to constructive criticism. I'll try to update next week, but I'm currently house hunting and it's been a huge endeavor. If I don't post on time, please forgive me, lol.
