It had taken a few days for them to prepare and pack. The ceremony would take place on their last day, where her father would renounce his title as Olo'eyktan and pass it on to Tarsem, a resilient young warrior, one he and Mo'at deemed worthy of the title and responsibility. Niri'te didn't know much about him in the beginning, the first time she really interacted with him was during her Iknimaya earlier this year, where he had clasped her shoulder firmly when they returned from the hunt, pride in his eyes as he gave her a dazzling smile. Niri'te would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little flutter in her stomach at his grin, her pale cheeks burning as she smiled back.
He had laughed, his hand clapping her shoulder, eyes shining with mirth.
And then he was off, celebrating with his friends as they gathered around the growing fire, which Niri'te steered well clear from, something about the licking flames stirring up old memories she didn't need tainting this joyous moment.
But that wasn't the last that she saw of him. Her cheeks would flush as he greeted her in passing, sometimes dropping what he was doing so he could talk to her, even if was just simple pleasantries. Still, it had made her feel warm, even if she didn't know why he was doing all of this. Maybe that's just how he is, Niri'te thought as she entered her family's marui for most likely the last time.
Packing up her belongings felt strange, like she wasn't really there, like she was watching someone else do it as she rolled up her sleeping mat, tying it off and putting it with everyone else's. there obviously were things she couldn't take, like her little collection of knickknacks that she acquired throughout her life, though she had lost most of them when the Sky People had first returned and burned their home to the ground, forcing them to move into High Camp. But despite herself, she placed a few into her pouch that she just couldn't leave behind, namely a bright river stone that she was planning to add to her song cord, a small tooth from Makita, and the first bracelet she had received from Tuk, the making of it was the joint effort of both Tuk and Lo'ak, but it was Tuk's idea, she just needed a little help.
Night had started to fall when she had considered herself finished, the pile of her family's belongings looking impossibly big, she wondered how they were going to fit everything on their ikrans. But that was tomorrow's problem.
With a sigh she turned away from the pile, exiting the marui and making her way to the communal sleeping area. It had been a while since she last slept there, often preferring the privacy of her family's tent that the large open area where most families slept together. Quickly she found her family's swaynivi, a large woven hammock that was suspended high off the ground, right in the middle surrounded by equally large hammocks.
Now getting up there was part of the reason she seldom spent the night there, it being so high off the ground and basically in the middle of the rest of the hammocks, it was a bit of a hassle to get to it. And by the time she got there, she would be out of breath and heaving so loud that it caused people to stare, which she already didn't like given the way she looked. But tonight she would just have to power through it since she couldn't sleep in the marui, with it being used as the storage space for all their things til they leave. Making her way between the other families, most were already asleep, huddled close to their loved ones.
Niri'te tiptoed past them, trying to quiet her heavy breathing from the climb up, basically holding her breath til she could get it under control. Once she finally got there, she collapsed next to Lo'ak, who grumbled in his sleep, kicking her leg as he turned around. She laughed quietly, finally able to relax, her stiff back thankful after all the packing and lifting.
She folded her hands over her stomach, her foot moving lightly from side to side as she started to doze off, her eyelids growing heavy as she stared up at the dark cavernous ceiling. It was quiet, peaceful. Still.
She sighed softly, closing her eyes, but sleep evaded her. Thoughts swarmed her mind, worrying, and racing. She missed Spider, surprisingly, even if they weren't such good friends, she feared for him, for what the Sky People could be doing to him right now. Was he okay? Was he hurt? Is he going hungry? Her brows furrowed as she worried, a sinking feeling in her chest. Anxiety started to build up, making her heart race, and her hands shake. Her tail twitched and her ears swivelled, picking up every sound as she silently panicked.
It was dark, but that was expected considering how late it was and the fact that there wasn't a lot of light coming in from the cave's openings. But wasn't like she minded it, actually preferring the dark. She had always found it comforting in a sense, when she was younger, she would revel in the inky night, when she could barely see her hand when she held it up to her face. She only really discovered this when the clan had moved to High Camp, away from the forests that glowed in the night, where it was never truly dark.
Here, in the dark, she found that it was hard to see, naturally, but that meant that others couldn't see as well. And if others couldn't see, then it would be harder for them to stop and stare at her, to point and whisper. They couldn't do that in the dark, because they couldn't see her.
And she liked that, very much. It soon got to the point where she was up all night where she would just... walk around, jump and run around, just exist in a place where she could just be. But soon her parents had started to notice, and the fear of getting caught and scolded by this cold and harsher version of her father made her stop. She stopped staying up late, stopped going out and living like it was only her. And that hurt. A lot.
But all good things must come to an end, is what she heard her father once said. One of her few good things came to an early end.
She shook her head, the anxiety that had built up in her chest was crushing her, her breaths short and quick. Eywa, why was she thinking about herself when Spider was literally taken, swept away by the Avatars and is probably being hurt by the humans? Why was she being so selfish? Spider is gone. And she might not ever see him again because her family is running away. Her heart pierced with pain, and her short breaths were making her lungs burn. Yeah, she may not have been that close to Spider, might not have been friends with him, but she liked him. He was funny and weird and so different. He didn't act like the other humans, he was wilder, freer than the rest of them. And that had drawn her to him, she was starting to see why Kiri liked him so much, and when she had the opportunity to actually be his friend, he was taken away. And now she might never see him again.
Niri'te felt like the world closing in on her, becoming smaller and smaller. Her head started to spin as she forced air into her lungs, sitting up abruptly, making the hammock shake. Distantly she heard someone grumbling, the shifting of fabric as they moved, but she wasn't paying attention to that, her mind occupied by her swirling thoughts, all the whats and hows consuming her mind.
She stood up, her legs shaking slightly as she left the hammock, carefully making her way across the woven walkways. She had tried not to rush, but her head was swimming and she needed to get down from here, needed the ground, solid and affirming.
Once her feet had touched the cold rock, her shoulders slumped as she leaned against the wall, pressing her forehead to it as she relished in the coolness. Niri'te breathed deeply through her nose, her eyes shut tight as she tried to calm her mind. She stood there for a while, she didn't know how long but she had noticed her feet start to hurt, her legs cramping from having been tensed for so long. Niri'te lifted her head, basking in the darkness of the cave, her eyes still shut as she forced her body to relax.
Turning around and opening her eyes, Niri'te tried to make out what was around her. She could see a few dying fires spotted here and there, most likely left to smoulder after the family had prepared dinner and kept alight to chase away the cold that the night brought. She could see the labs in the distance, the usual sharp lights dimmed as the humans retired for the day, the floodlights outside shut off and soft lights spilling out from the windows.
Vaguely she remembered a conversation her father and Max had, but it had sounded more like a screaming match, their words being heard loud and clear throughout parts of High Camp.
"They took him," her father had started, his voice tense and controlled. She could imagine the look on his face as he broke the news to Max, his hands on his hips as he avoided eye contact, his head bowed as he shuffled from foot to foot, something she noticed Neteyam started to do when he was nervous or thinking too much. It was endearing in a way.
"Who took him?" Max had asked, his voice hesitant yet brimming with worry. Niri'te was sure he would have that guarded look on his face, his eyebrows drawn together as he set his jaw tightly.
"The RDA—" her father had barely started to speak before Max cut him off.
"The RDA?" Max bit, hissing his words. "How did that even happen!"
"The kids went out without permission—"
"They what? Don't they know how dangerous it is?"
"I know, but they were caught by Quaritch and his team—"
"Quaritch is alive? I thought Neytiri killed him."
"And so did I! Now would you let me speak, please?" Jakesully sounded more annoyed at being interrupted than concerned at the news he was telling his friend. Niri'te could only imagine the look her father was giving the human scientist. She had begun to stalk closer to them, her curiosity getting the better of her.
She heard Max huff, imagining him crossing his arms as he stared up at Jakesully.
"Okay," he started, "Yesterday, the kids went out without permission, at first it was just to get out but then Lo'ak started to follow these tracks made by the RDA Avatars. I was told that Spider tried to stop him but Lo'ak wasn't listening."
Jakesully sighed, "They followed the tracks to the old shack, the one we used when we fled Hell's Gate. They found Quaritch there, and he was alive and an Avatar, leading his own team of Avatars."
"I thought that team died," Max said softly. There was a moment of silence where she was sure her father nodded, a look of sympathy on his face.
"That's when Lo'ak called in, telling me what was happening and who was with him. I told him to get out of there but they were caught, and held hostage. When Neytiri and I got there, his team was holding guns to their heads, there wasn't much that we could do for them. I had Neytiri cause a distraction while I picked them off.
"Then a fight broke out and the kids ran off. I took Neteyam with me to find Lo'ak and Tuk. Neytiri had gone to find the twins and Spider, but before she could get to them, Quaritch was already there, he had Spider and Ri'te, both barely conscious. She could only get one shot in before they left, she had to choose, and she chose Ri'te."
Another pause. Niri'te could hear Max breathing deeply. She could only imagine what was going on in his head, to know that there was a chance that the boy he thought of as his son could have been saved but it was decided that someone else was more important. It must be breaking his heart, to know something like that.
"Don't hold it against Ri'te, or Neytiri, she was only—"
"Stop Jake," Max said softly, "I, I don't,"
"I know," was all her father said.
"W–we have to get him back, we can't just leave him with them."
"Max, we don't have—"
"You don't get to tell me that."
"Please Max, there isn't,"
"Jake, you would be doing the same if it were your kids, so don't tell me what I can and can't do, alright?"
"I know Max, but the RDA's base is too heavily fortified for us to infiltrate."
"Then we think of something, I mean they can't have everything blocked off, right?"
"They do, everything you can think of, they got it covered and under constant surveillance."
"There's nothing for us to do," her father tried to console the frantic man.
"But we–we can't just, we can't just leave him, Jake, he's just a kid."
"He can take care of himself, I know he can, he'll just have to push through."
"You can't just pushthrough what the RDA does to you! He's being held captive and is probably being hurt because they want information from him. Who knows what they could be doing to him!"
"Max, you gotta understand that—"
"No!"
"Max,"
"He's my boy! I raised him and he's mine! You can't just tell me to leave him with them!" Max screamed, his voice cracking with emotion and conviction.
"I'm not telling you to leave him! I'm telling you to stay out of it and not try to get him back because he's as good as dead." Came her father's cold reply.
"No, I can't do that, he's my kid, I can't leave him there."
"Max, you gotta listen to me, there's no hope for Spider, for all we know the RDA's already had their shot at him and disposed of him, there's nothing we can do."
Niri'te couldn't believe the way her father was talking about Spider, like he was a stranger, like he wasn't the kid who had grown up with his children, become one of their closest friends and was basically the son of his own friends. She knew that before the war her father would not have acted like this, but she knew that the man he was back then was long gone, not to come back for even longer.
"You don't know that, you don't know anything!"
"Max please, I'm just trying to do what's best for the People."
"You would want to do the same if it were any of your kids," Max spat. Niri'te had never heard the man speak like that. Max had always been more reserved, the strong silent type that didn't need too many words to get their point across, and he rarely got mad too, no matter what anyone had done, he was forgiving like that. But now Niri'te could see that he won't be so forgiving this time.
"The need of the many outweighs the need of the few, right?" Max muttered, "I see how it is."
"Max wait," her father called out, but Max had already started to walk away, ignoring the calls of the man he once thought of as a friend.
The silence that followed after was tense, with Jakesully left standing there as his friend walked away.
Niri'te had watched as Max disappeared into the labs, the heavy door slamming shut behind him. If she had strained her ears, she could have heard him yelling, his furious words muffled by the thick metal walls.
A cold breeze drifted past her, sending a shiver down her spine. Goosebumps travelled up her arms as she wrapped her shawl closer around her, wincing as she did so, the tender flesh of her neck thrumming with a sharp pain. Niri'te had almost forgotten about it, the cut on her neck, though it wasn't very deep it had still bled so profusely that her grandmother had thought that she might not make it. The tsahìk had stuffed the wound with various herbs, to clot the blood and encourage the body to heal faster, but the blood flow was too heavy, quickly pooling under Niri'te's head as it oozed down her neck, the puddle dark and sluggishly growing bigger.
Her mother was helping too, keeping a cloth pressed tightly against the cut, trying to ignore how her daughter would hiss and wince every time she so much as moved the cloth, or even when her fingers gave the slightest twitch. Neytiri couldn't even look at her daughter, refusing to see her pale skin stained with blood, her face wrought in pain. It was a scene too close to the one she saw when Neteyam and the twins had gone to explore when they were younger, Kiri coming back to tell them Ri'te was hurt, seeing her little girl sprawled on the ground, her blood flowing like rivers through the earth.
Niri'te shook out the stiffness in her back, standing up from where she had crouched down, something she usually did when she was lost in thought. She felt weary all of a sudden, her limbs growing heavy, her eyes burning with fatigue. She felt so tired.
She looked back to the collection of swaynivis, weighing the options in her mind. She could go back, climb up the bridge in the dark, with nothing but the sparse glow of the moons to light her way, or she could stay down here, light a little fire by her family's marui, and spend the rest of the night there, warmed by the fire and as close to the ground as she could possibly be while being inside a floating rock.
The breeze blew past again, brushing through her hair and seeping into her shawl. The second option is then. Niri'te didn't want to think how colder the wind would be up by the swaynivis.
Soon she was sat by a little fire, just big enough to warm her. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, staring into the flickering flame before she noticed a figure moving towards her. She didn't react, assuming that they would just pass her by, but they didn't. Niri'te heard the sigh before the figure sat by the fire as well. She tore her eyes away, though a bit reluctant, to see who had chosen to sit with her.
It was Kiri, looking bored and tired as she put her chin in her hand, staring into the fore as Niri'te had done not just moments ago. She couldn't help but stiffen at the sight of her sister, just waiting for whatever cruelty that was sure to be unleashed upon her.
But it didn't come, and she felt herself relaxed the slightest bit.
They sat like this, in mutual silence, for a while, not one of them really finding anything to say to the other.
Then Kiri sighed. "You're worried about him too, aren't you?" she asked quietly, not looking away from the licking flames.
Niri'te turned her head to look at her sister, a silent question on her face that Kiri couldn't see.
Kiri huffed when she didn't answer, finally looking at her. Her green eyes seemed to dance in the firelight. "Spider, I mean. You're worried about him too."
Niri'te didn't say anything as she nodded, feeling a tightness in her chest. She didn't know what to feel when Kiri looked at her like that, without that glint in her eye that spoke of her dislike for her twin. This time when Kiri looked at her, it seemed like there was this warmth to it, something Niri'te wasn't used to seeing directed at her.
"Did you hear Max and Dad's conversation?" there was this tone to her voice, sad yet resigned, as she had expected it.
Niri'te nodded again. "Who hasn't?" she asked sardonically, her lip curling in silent anger. She still couldn't believe what her father had said to one of his oldest friends.
Kiri surprised her with a laugh, rolling her eyes at Niri'te's uncharacteristically sarcastic tone. She didn't expect it, and had startled huffed laughter from her.
Niri'te felt herself smile a little, glad to get a reaction from Kiri that wasn't a sneer or an insult.
But there was a question that was bubbling up inside her, she wanted to ask it so desperately, but she didn't want to disrupt this tentative moment.
"What are you doing here?" Kiri asked, seemingly taking the words from her mouth. She was still looking a her, her furred brows pulled together as her green eyes squinted at her.
Niri'te didn't say anything at once, turning her gaze back to the fire, which had grown dimmer since Kiri arrived. Silently she reached for the little pile of firewood next to her, throwing it into the fire and watching as the embers jumped and the fresh wood crackled with heat.
Finally, as she watched the flames lick at the wood, she mumbled her reply. "Couldn't sleep."
She heard Kiri huff, certain that she was rolling her eyes as well. "Yeah, I can see that, but what I'm asking is what are you doing down here?"
Niri'te glanced at her sister, feeling a little queasy as she recalled the anxiety that had built up in her chest. And she looked away just as quickly, unable to handle Kiri's searching gaze. "I don't really like heights, and it was a bit cold up there," Niri'te found herself saying, her hands unconsciously rubbing her arms.
She didn't see the way Kiri tensed, how she looked away from her with a frown and saddened eyes. If she did, she would know why without a doubt.
The silence stretched between them, suddenly awkward and stifling, far from the somewhat calm one they had earlier.
Niri'te couldn't stand it any longer, the urge to say something was burning her tongue, but she had no idea what to say. Should she try and salvage the awkward silence with a question about the weather? Or would that be stupid? Should she tell Kiri about this one thing that happened to Lo'ak a few weeks ago that she could use to blackmail him? Or would that be unfair to Lo'ak, he had sworn her to secrecy after all.
The silence was starting to get to her, fidgeting with her shawl strings as she stared into the dying flames. She would have to add some more wood to it soon, lest she allow it to die out.
"I'm sorry," Niri'te started suddenly, eyes resolutely kept in front of her.
She saw Kiri look at her from the corner of her eye, her back straightened from its slouched position, as if she were actually listening to what Niri'te had to say, confusion on her face.
"For, uh," she faltered, trying to find the words her stupid mouth had decided to say. "For, for lunging at you, um, earlier, when we were uh, you know." She shrugged one shoulder and quickly glanced at her sister, her words failing her tremendously. She was surprised to find a slight smile on Kiri's face, so small it was just a quirk of the corner of her mouth, but she knew her sister, unwilling as she was to admit it. She could tell.
Niri'te returned an unsure smile, but it felt more like a grimace as she tried to understand. Wasn't Kiri mad? She had every right to be, especially at how she reacted in the first place, all hissing and glaring, Niri'te was sure that Kiri was going to come for her in her sleep.
But Kiri only huffed, this one much different to the plenty she's prone to whenever she's annoyed or mad, no, this one seemed like she was laughing. Kiri was laughing at her. Was this her trying to cover up her seething anger about being tackled by Niri'te but she was trying not to seem mad so she could pounce at Niri'te when she least expected it?
No, you're being stupid, a voice whispered in her mind, a mixture of her voice and somebody else's.
"It's cool," Kiri said softly, laughter still in her voice. She brought up a hand and ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at a knot at the back of her head. She winced, pulling her hand away so she could pick at the knot with her fingers.
Seeing an opportunity, Niri'te carefully reached out. "You want some help?"
Niri'te has always had a strained relationship with her sister, never really getting along with each other, it was never what people expected when they found out that they were twins, because surely, if the two were born together, raised together, grown together, they would be inseparable, attached at the hip. Sometimes Niri'te wished it were like that, where she and Kiri would be like best friends, like Neteyam and Lo'ak, or herself and Lo'ak. She really just wanted even a semblance of a relationship with Kiri.
Kiri looked at her, her face unreadable, tail flicking.
"Sure,"
Tension released from Niri'te's shoulders, her lungs burning from when she had held her breath and finally exhaled in a rush of relief.
Hesitantly Niri'te stood and made her way to Kiri's side, hands trembling the slightest bit as she began to work the knot with her fingers.
Silence filled the air, the occasional crackle of the dying flames the only reprieve to the quiet.
Niri'te didn't know what to do with herself. her heart was pounding in her chest and her hands trembled as they worked out the knots in Kiri's hair. She had gotten up to dig out a comb from the pile of their packed belongings, pulling it gently through Kiri's hair as she worked. Neither of them said anything, mostly out of not knowing what to say as to not wanting to talk.
"Do you," Kiri started, cutting herself off with a huff, like she was angry at herself for wanting to ask the question. "What do you think is gonna happen tomorrow? When we leave?" She turned her head to look at Niri'te, her eyes holding a careful vulnerability, like she was unsure if she could show this part of herself to Niri'te.
And Niri'te was unsure if she could answer the question, like if she gave the wrong answer it could shatter what little relationship they had built tonight. But if she didn't, it could be even worse than answering.
And the way Kiri asked the question, her voice small and uncertain, like a child when they knew the answer was hard to explain. Niri'te didn't know what to make of it.
Niri'te opened her mouth to speak, but her words failed in her throat, sticking to the sides like fresh tree sap.
"I think," she began again after a moment. "I think... that things are going to be different and..." She stopped, looking away from Kiri's intense gaze.
Her eyes flickered over to the dying flames, hands leaving Kiri's hair to place the last few logs into the fire, dusting off her hands before she resumed brushing Kiri's hair like it was second nature to her, like she had been doing it all her life. She didn't know what to make of this new familiarity either.
"And... that might not be a bad thing, maybe,"
She felt Kiri tense a little, her head tilting away from Niri'te's hands.
It's shattering now, she thought, what little we had is breaking apart.
Kiri turned to her, face half hidden in the shadows, but it didn't draw away the intensity of her eyes, the something that was burning in them that Niri'te didn't know what to do with.
She didn't know what to do with a lot of things.
"Why?" Kiri asked, voice quiet.
Niri'te stared dumbly. "Why what?"
"Why won't it be bad?" Kiri raised her voice slightly, conscious of the others sleeping close by. "It's like mom said, we're leaving everything we have ever known."
Niri'te tried to say something, but couldn't as Kiri stood, her shadow looming over her as she stood in front of the fire. She couldn't see Kiri's face, but she could feel the heat of her stare, the burning she was used to.
It's shattered, she thought, it's gone and I don't think it's going to come back.
She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but Kiri whipped around, feet kicking dirt into the fire before she stormed away, muttering under her breath.
Niri'te was taken aback by the suddenness, eyes still glued to where Kiri was looming over her before they followed after her, watching as the darkness swallowed her.
She was breathing fast, heart pounding as she came back to herself. With a dry mouth, she looked back to the fire, mind swirling and blinked.
What?
⟪⁓º⁞⩗⩘⁞º⁓⟫⟪⁓º⁞⩗⩘⁞º⁓⟫⟪⁓º⁞⩗⩘⁞º⁓⟫
The next morning brings a flurry of activity, the air itself alive with nervous energy. In a few short hours, they would be leaving.
Niri'te sat by the long-dead fire, a numb indifference surrounding her as she stared at the sooty circle, ignorant of what was happening around her.
She felt someone sit beside her, pressing their shoulder to hers.
"Good morning," they said cheerfully, a stark opposite of what Niri'te was feeling right now.
When she didn't replay, nudged her, pulling her attention away from the dead fire.
Jakesully was giving her a strange look, one that was swirling with concern. She tried to smile at him, to ease his worries but all that she could manage was a tired grimace. She didn't really get any sleep last night.
'You alright?" her father asked, his arm coming over her shoulders to bring her to his side. He didn't comment on her icy skin, nor the tension that seeped from her.
Niri'te didn't say anything for a moment, turning her face into her father's neck. "Yeah," she said softly, pulling away slightly. "Just a little tired."
Jakesully smiled gently, but she could see the tightness in the corner of his eyes, the concern that hadn't left him yet.
He nudged her shoulder again before he stood with a sigh, twisting his neck as if to shake away stiffness. "Have you packed everything?"
Niri'te glanced up at him, then at the pile of luggage in front of her. She had spent most of the night staring at it after the fire had gone out, the outline seemed burned into her eyes. Wherever she looked, she saw it there, front and centre of her vision, looming and inescapable. She looked back at her father.
"Yeah, all the important stuff."
Jakesully nodded, his gaze set on the group gathering at one of the cave entrances. "Remember to have something to eat before we leave, alright sweetheart? It's a long trip."
Niri'te just smiled in response, watching her father walk away before she could even answer. Her heart did a funny thing, it jumped and clenched and stilled, all at the same time and left her a little breathless. Something sat heavy on her chest as her eyes began to burn, begging her to close them, just to get a little sleep before her life was turned upside down. Again.
She looked around, stubbornly ignoring the mass in front of her, which was something she should have done the night before, but what could she do about it now?
Niri'te sighed as she stood, twisting her neck in a similar fashion to her father, stretching her arms above her head as she felt the muscles in her back pull with a satisfying ache. Her arms felt lax as she lowered them, kicking her feet in front of her to get the blood flowing again. She can admit that she lost feeling in her legs some hours ago, but she didn't do much about it besides stretching one leg out before pulling it back again and repeating the action with the other.
She can also admit she only did it because she refused to stand up, as she had gotten strangely comfortable on the log.
The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, goosebumps rising over her arms. Eyes, watching her. She tried to shake it off, she was used to people watching her, from their quick glances to fully facing her as they stared. It was nothing new to her.
She tried to pretend that she didn't notice their gaze, but the weight of them unsettled her. She started to walk away when a hand brushed her arm, fingers catching in her shawl.
"Ri'te," a voice rumbled. She stiffened.
Turning she saw Tarsem staring down at her, face pinched. She said nothing as she stared up at him, a new feeling rising in her. Her face felt warm and the goosebumps spread further, up her neck, making her ears twitch with the feeling.
Tarsem tilted her head to the side slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling down in a frown. Not that Niri'te was looking at his lips. no, definitely not. She just noticed it.
"Are you all right?" he asked, voice gentler, but still that smooth rumble from his chest.
Niri'te felt the words die in her throat, she could feel the warmth radiating off him, so close he was standing to her, and his hand was now tentatively holding her arm, like he wasn't sure his touch was welcome. She didn't notice how cold she had gotten throughout the night. She had a fire, yes, but it was a feeble thing, barely enough heat to truly warm her. There was a reason she never helped with making fires in the first place, not being able to make one that would last more than an hour, no matter what she did, the other reason... she didn't want to talk about it.
The hand on her arm tightened slightly, enough to bring her wandering mind back to the present.
"Ri'te?" Tarsem sounded a little worried now. Oh Eywa, she must truly be a sight to have him acting this way. "Are you all right?" he repeated, his brow pinching.
Niri'te smiled up at him, stepping away, shivers ran across her skin as she did, no longer close enough to feel his warmth. She found that she missed it, strangely, but she wasn't surprised.
"I'm fine," she said, keeping her smile firmly in place, she didn't want to worry him further. "I just didn't sleep well."
Tarsem narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing her. His hand was still in the air from when he had been holding her arm, as if he'd forgotten about it.
"Are you sure?" he questioned, taking a small step closer.
If it were anyone else, Niri'te would have taken a step back, but she didn't. She could feel his warmth again, and she almost sighed, but instead, she wrapped her arms around her middle, something she usually does when she's uncomfortable.
Tarsem watches her closely, and she's reminded of the focused look his face would adopt when hunting, eyes trained on every small movement of the jungle. Every falling leave, every twitching branch.
Tarsem watches her closely, and he sees. His face does something strange. Niri'te almost missed the guilt and the touch of sadness that crossed his face as he took a step back, taking his warmth with him.
Did... did he feel bad for... for making her uncomfortable? He did. He did feel bad. But why?
Instead of dwelling on the thought, she buried it deep, somewhere close to the memories of visiting Grace with Kiri when they were younger. She takes it and she buries it deep.
"I'm fine, Tarsem," she said, voice coming out harder than she intended.
She looked away, she didn't want to see the look on his face. She knew that he was only checking on her because he was worried, but why? Why was he doing it?
Niri'te chanced a glance at him, telling herself it was because she wanted to check if he was mad, nothing else.
But he wasn't, not in the slightest. He was concerned, and somehow that was even worse.
"I do not believe you, though," he started, keeping his distance, but he reached for her again. Niri'te didn't know if she should pull back or not. "You can tell me, Ri'te,"
There he goes again, being all concerned for her. Why?
She allowed his hand to brush against her arm, not sure if she wanted any more contact than that, even if it made her stomach flip and heart flutter, she didn't think she could handle it.
What was he expecting her to say? That it felt like every decision she made somehow caused something bad to happen? How it felt like she was a stranger to her own sister and that she was sure that whatever relationship they could have built was shattered the night before? How it felt like her whole life was crashing down around her ears?
Could she even tell him that?
She thinks she could, Tarsem had always been willing to listen whenever they talked, and had seemed interested in whatever she had to say, even if she was just complaining about the smallest of things.
But were they close enough? Close enough that she could bear her insecurities and troubles to him and not chase him away?
She didn't know, and that scared her a little.
Tarsem felt like the only friend that she'd really made, apart from her siblings and Spider. Thinking about Spider made her heart clench in a painful way.
"Tarsem, I'd love to talk, but I-I'm really busy right now," she shook her head, stepping away, not looking at Tarsem. "I got to pack," she gestured lamely to the marui, where most of her family's belongings were still stacked.
A light sparked in Tarsem's eyes, an eagerness filling him as he stepped towards her again. "I can help you pack," he offered, not waiting for her to answer as he grabbed one of the heavier crates from the pile. "Two hands are better than one."
He turned a blinding smile her way, the corners of his eyes crinkling and the lone dimple on his right cheek appearing.
"Um," Niri'te hesitated, reaching out an awkward hand as if to stop him. "I-I'm not sure if,"
Tarsem's smile dimmed slightly. "Do you not want the help?"
Niri'te's eyes widened. "No! No, that's not what I meant," she glanced at the crate in his hands. "It's just, I don't think my mother would like you handling her... personal items."
Something on Niri'te's face must have scared him a little, as his face paled slightly and hurriedly put the crate back down. Niri'te couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips, a hand coming up to cover her mouth.
A hidden smile graced Tarsem's lips, a warmth filling his chest as he turned his burning face away. That's better, he thought to himself.
After that little incident, Niri'te suggested they start moving the bigger items to where her parents' ikrans were waiting, ready to be strapped to the great beasts. It was a bit slow going, with Tarsem being the only one of the two capable of easily handling the heavy crates, while Niri'te carried bunched-up bags and mats. It was an hour before the ceremony when the two finally finished, Niri'te tying one of her lighter bags to Makita's saddle, the ikran having come curiously poking around the growing pile of luggage as Niri'te and Tarsem ferried between there and the marui.
Niri'te laughed at the sight, Makita had her snout stuck in one of the bags, most likely sniffing around for food. She removed the bag from the creature's snout, still laughing as Tarsem came up to her, though a bit hesitant with Makita so close. He looked at her with a soft gaze, still flushed from all the moving, hair tousled slightly.
"I have to go now," he said, his voice back to that smooth rumble from earlier that morning. Niri'te felt her skin flush. "But I look forward to seeing you after the ceremony," he smiled, his hand coming to her shoulder, the warmth seeping through her shawl. He stared at her for a moment, a thoughtful look in his gaze. Before she could even realise what had happened, Tarsem's quick fingers reached up and caressed the shell of her ear, his touch scorching.
"Goodbye, Ri'te," he said, turning and quickly disappearing between the hoards of people bustling throughout High Camp.
Numbly, Niri'te reached her hand up to her ear, to feel the ghost of Tarsem's touch. Realisation dawned on her. Her breath hitched in her throat when her brain had caught up with what had just happened. He... touched her ear. He touched her ear.
Surely he must know what that meant, right? Right?
Quickly she looked around to see if anyone was staring, anyone who might have caught sight of that little moment.
One person did. She felt her face pale as her eyes met the bright green of her sister's. Kiri stared at her with an open-mouthed shock, frozen in place.
Oh no. Nonononononono.
She was one of the last people Niri'te wanted to have seen what Tarsem did. Why her?
Kiri all but dropped what she was holding and came storming over, an unexplainable rage in her eyes. Well, it was only explainable to Kiri, but it wasn't like she was going to tell anyone else why she got so mad.
"What was that," she demanded, face shoved so close to Niri'te's that she could feel her huffing breath ghosting over her cheeks.
Niri'te opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water. "I-I don't know wh-what you mean,"
Kiri's eyes flashed, the green becoming vibrant as she stared her sister down. "Don't play dumb with me, god knows you do that enough time with everybody else," she muttered the last bit under her breath, intending for Niri'te not to hear, or did she? Niri'te was sure that she noticed that Niri'te noticed everything, it being one of the few things they have in common, always being aware of whatever was around them.
"He touched your ear!" Kiri all but shouted, though not loud enough for those around them to hear. "Surely you're not that dumb to not know what it means."
Niri'te bristled at the words. "I know well what it means, I just don't see what it has to do with you."
Kiri drew back from her, not having expected Niri'te to fight back like this, having always been used to her sister rolling over and showing her belly at any sign of an altercation, but recently that hasn't been the case. She wondered what changed.
But she didn't let Niri'te's sudden gain of a backbone stop her. "But do you know what it would mean when we leave? What would happen if he announced his intentions to the rest of the clan?"
"What makes you think I'll go along with it?" Niri'te bit back, a simmering anger rising up in her chest. The frustration of a restless night and the headache that was growing behind her eyes was starting to get to her. As well as the whirlstorm of thoughts swarming her mind.
Kiri pauses for a moment, as if she was thinking over her words. Something that she doesn't usually do.
"Because you want the attention, don't you?"
Niri'te scoffed at the words, but inside she balked. That was the last thing she expected Kiri to say. Attention? She hated it, hated when eyes would follow her from a distance, the skin-crawling feeling whenever someone looked her way. That was the last thing she wanted.
"Is that what you really think?" she narrowed her eyes. "Is it so impossible for you to think that might not be the case? That I might actually want the same thing?" she didn't wait for Kiri to answer. "That's low, even for you."
Kiri sneered. "But do you know what it'll mean for the clan if he chooses you and you leave?"
"What if I stay?"
Her eyes narrowed at her sister, daring her to challenge her again.
"Mom and Dad won't let you," Kiri took her silent warning and squashed it under her foot. "Dad said it isn't safe for anyone in our family to stay in the forest."
Something ugly curled in Niri'te's chest. "Why do you even care? It's not like you've ever been concerned for my safety." As she said this, her hand unconsciously grabbed the hem of her shawl, twisting and pulling at it. The movement caused the fabric to slip off her shoulder slightly, revealing a creeping scar slashed into her skin, pale and bumpy, much like the rest.
Kiri flinched away at the sight, face taking on a twist of emotions, though there was no guilt, but it wasn't like Niri'te noticed it anyway, too caught up in her own emotions, crowding Kiri as she came closer.
"And even if you were, you would have no say in it anyway, because this could be something I won't be swayed over."
Their noses were almost touching, breath mingling together, fierce yellow eyes boring into green.
The air was tense and thick, nearly suffocating Niri'te as she stared Kiri down.
"You're not gonna do it," Kiri whispered lowly.
Niri'te narrowed her eyes, heart in her throat. "I am,"
But Kiri shook her head, a self-satisfied smirk on her face. "You won't. Wanna know why?"
She paused.
"Because you're a coward."
Niri'te had stopped breathing for quite a bit, her head getting light and vision blurry, but she heard the words clearly. And they made her burn.
Suddenly, it was as if something inside her snapped, pulled too tight or worn down enough that it ceased to exist. Then something dark and hateful latched onto her, consuming her as her face twisted. She shoved Kiri back, tight fists connecting with the other's shoulders, knocking her to the ground.
"Don't say that," she muttered. "You don't get to say that,"
Kiri only stared, eyes wide with shock. She didn't get up either, as if stuck to the floor.
Then she got mad, her face twisting into something Niri'te was sure mirrored her own. She pushed herself from the ground, mouth open as if to say, scream something back.
Then the air shook, a whistle and a deafening explosion. Then the smell of smoke.
The first missile hit the neighbouring island, tearing it almost in half with the blast that followed. They couldn't do anything but stare as the island fell to the ground, thick clouds of black smoke billowing in the wind, the fires large and roaring.
Debris from the island rocketed through the air, colliding with the wall of High Camp, shaking the ground they stood upon. Ikran were swarming, looking for their riders, screeching and hissing. The smoke from the burning island was being swept up in the wind, coiling thickly before it was blown into the many openings of High Camp, the acrid stench filling the cave.
Niri'te knew she was standing in High Camp, she knew, but the smoke, the fire, it sent her back. Back to before they made this floating island their sanctuary, before the war really started. She remembered the massive groves they used to live in, the sprawling trees and the walkways connecting them. She remembered the peace, the joy, then the attack, the fire, the smoke. The screams.
She knew that she was standing in High Camp right now, but in her mind, she was back there, on that one night that started like any other, but ended in them fleeing their home, smoke lying thick in their lungs, burns marring their skin.
Someone yelled, "Incoming!" just before a loud explosion tore through the atmosphere. People stumbled as they fled the explosion as shockwaves rattled the ground. Chunks of rock were propelled through the air, crashing onto the ground, onto buildings, onto people.
Then the screaming started, but Niri'te could barely hear it with her muffled hearing, feeling as if wads of cotton were stuffed in her ears as she pushed her aching body off the ground, dust curling in the air around her.
Stunned, she looked back to Kiri, who stared into the roaring flames quickly spreading through High Camp.