Chapter 8

Lisa

I take my earbuds out and wipe sweat from my brow, having just finished stretching after a workout. There's a gym not even a block away from my apartment, and though I work crazy hours I try to make it a point to get in some exercise a few times a week. Though I haven't lately. Jennie's been too much of a distraction, in a good way of course.

It's early Tuesday morning, and I don't think Jennie is awake yet. I'm not actually sure what time she gets up and heads out for work, and I don't want to call or text and risk waking her up in case she's still asleep. I stretch my arms out once more, knowing I'm going to be sore for going back into my workout routine hard instead of easing in after a few weeks away. I'll probably stick with it this week and fall off the wagon again, but that's more than fine with me if it means I get to be with Jennie.

Bambam worked late last night and is still sleeping. I quietly move throughout the apartment and get something quick to eat and then take a shower. Jennie texted me while I was in the shower, asking if I was up yet. I text her back and she calls a few seconds later.

"You're up early," I say as soon as I answer.

"I'm going out for breakfast with Marissa. She's a friend from work. You met her, actually. That day you came to the office with my bitchy secretary."

"Oh yeah," I say with a laugh. "Funny how that all worked out."

"It really is," she says and the sound of silverware clanking together floats through the phone. And then her cats meow, and I assume she's feeding them before heading out. "When you think about it, it's weird, actually. If you hadn't gone out to lunch with someone from that convention, you wouldn't have run into my secretaries. They wouldn't have brought you back to the office party and I wouldn't have seen you."

And I wouldn't have taken her out and she wouldn't be pregnant. For years she's been right in front of me, in sight but out of reach. It took a crazy push from the universe to finally get us together. "Shit, that is weird to think about."

"Rene is jealous we went out," she tells me. "She doesn't realize all the emails she sends are on the company server."

"That's kind of funny. You know I never intended on hooking up with her, right?"

"Yes, Lisa," she says with a laugh. "You told me. And I told you, don't feel bad for the past. I've had boyfriends, you've had girlfriends. I might have even had a girlfriend or two. It's nothing to—"

"What? You had a girlfriend."

"Not in that sense."

"Darn. But thanks, Jennie." She's the most understanding person on the planet, and I'm hit again with a sense of wonder of how lucky I am that she's with me.

"Though if you did hook up with her, I'd totally judge you. Hard."

"I'd judge me too." I hear the beeping of her alarm system as she arms the house and closes the door behind her. "How's your wrist?"

"It hurts," she says honestly. "And I'm not able to wrap it as well as you did."

"You can switch to a brace if that's easier. The most important thing is to rest it as much as possible so it can heal."

"I'm trying, though I never realized how much I used it until I couldn't. I'm right-handed, but I sure do use my left hand a lot."

"Playing with your sex toys, right?"

"It is my masturbating hand."

"God, I miss you, Jennie."

"You're working this weekend, aren't you?"

"I am."

"I have to go over a week before I can see you again?" she blurts, and I can tell she immediately feels bad. "It's fine. I'll send you naughty pictures. We can FaceTime, and I found a website that does the casting to make your penis into a sparkly dildo."

"Well, now I know what to get you for your birthday."

"My birthday is too far away. I want your sparkly peen now. Oh shit. I just walked past a neighbor in the hall and she totally heard me," Jennie adds quietly. I start laughing, imagining her pretty face and the blush coming over her cheeks. "That lady is an uptight bitch too and has this nasty little Pomeranian that tries to bite anyone walking by. The thing is so old. I don't know how it's still alive."

"Living in an apartment is fun, isn't it?" I joke. "Though I can't really complain. No one here is too bad. Bambam is probably the one they can't stand."

"I heard that!" Bambam calls from the kitchen and I laugh.

"I lose service in the elevator," Jennie says. "Call me later?"

"Yeah. I will around lunchtime. I have back-to-back procedures until then."

"Save lives, Dr. Manoban."

"Bye, babe. Have a good day." I love you.

My brother is two floors down from me, and I have no desire to see him. I should have brought him to a different hospital. Fuck, I'm a terrible person, aren't I? My parents are here as well, and we're meeting for lunch. Before I go to the hospital cafeteria, which has decent food, I go outside in a staff-only courtyard and call Jennie. She doesn't answer, and I'm leaving her a message when she calls back.

"Hey, Lis," she says and my heart lurches at the sound of her voice. "Sorry. I had my music up too loud to hear my phone ring."

"Aren't you at work?"

"Yeah. I listen to music in my office and sometimes play it through the speakers so everyone else has to suffer and listen to it."

"What are you listening to today?"

"The Descendants Two soundtrack. It's a made-for-TV Disney movie that I'm a little obsessed with. And I'll just say it's because of Jackson if anyone asks."

"He doesn't like it, does he?"

"He hasn't even seen it," she laughs. "How's everything going today? Did you save any lives?"

"If it turns you on, then yes. Though everything I've done today was prescheduled, so no one was in danger. And Bobby…he's back to his old self. Bugging nurses and begging for pain pills. What about you? Did you finish the Batmobile yet?"

"You can't rush art. But I did find a flaw in the system for another part of the project that has to pair with what I'm working on, and I'll just say the people we're making this for were really impressed. It was their guys who messed up."

"That's amazing," I tell her, wishing she was at liberty to discuss her project. She hinted it was for the government and that she had to sign NDAs in order to work on it. Though even if she did explain it, I doubt I'd understand.

"You know how you like to tell everyone you're a doctor?"

"Yeah."

"Well, in my line of work, women are still in the minority for holding positions like I do, and I love when I get to show off how smart I am to a room full of arrogant men who think I'm not as good as them just because I have a vagina."

"I didn't realize you face adversity."

"Oh yeah, I still do. It's getting better, and it could be worse. Women of color have an even harder time, and it's such bullshit."

Jennie's always been one to stand up for equal rights, and I think having four older brothers just proved to her how she can do anything they can do, and most of the time do it better.

"Anyway, the head of that team is taking me out to dinner tomorrow and wants to introduce me to a professor friend. I kind of feel like Harry Potter going to a Slug Club dinner party, but I'm also at prime laziness right now and am already dreading being out past my bedtime."

I didn't think it was possible to be any more attracted to Jennie than I already am, but she wins me over more and more every time we talk. "If you're trying to get a memory from this guy so you can defeat a dark wizard, don't be so obvious."

"I'll do my best. Oh, tell your parents I said hi. My mom is even more excited knowing your mom is excited and wants to know if it's okay if I pass along her number."

"Yeah, my mom would love that actually. I'll text you her contact info. They can plan parties to their hearts' content."

"My mom sent me at least a dozen pictures today. It's kind of annoying, but I'm kind of having fun too."

"You should have fun. Don't feel like you can't enjoy this or shouldn't celebrate because of the way things came about."

"I do feel that way," she says, and I can hear relief in her voice. "I didn't even want to admit it to myself, but I do."

"I could tell. This wasn't planned, but I know for sure we're going to have an awesome kid."

"Yeah. I think so too." I can tell she's smiling as she talks. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I'm going in for that blood work next Friday, and we should get the results back within a week. And my insurance covers it completely."

"That's great. The time is going to go by slow now," I say, not realizing just how anxious I am to find out what we're having.

"I know. It is. But I did narrow down my names. Can I run them by you?"

"Of course."

"Ella and Aiden."

I consider each one, mentally pairing it with my last name. Ella Manoban sounds nice, but I'm not a fan of Aiden. I open my mouth to tell Jennie that only to snap my jaw shut. We haven't talked about last names. I want the baby to have mine, and I hope and pray one day Jennie does too.

But I'm not proposing now, and suggesting that I think we might someday maybe get married isn't a strong enough argument. Besides, Jennie wants to take things slow and I know she's worried about dating just because we're having a baby.

"I like Ella," I finally say. "Aiden…I don't dislike it, but I don't like it."

"Do you have any names picked out yet?"

"Not yet. I'll narrow it down. Or if you want to keep giving me names, I'll veto until we come to an agreement," I joke. Though that's not a bad idea. Naming a kid is a lot of pressure.

"Dammit. I have to go. A client just called."

"Okay, take care, babe."

"You too. I'll call you later." I hang up, wishing I didn't have to work this weekend. It's going to be a long week without Jennie. Turning my face up to the sun, I close my eyes and sit still for a moment. I don't get outside as much as I should. I'm also most likely dehydrated from standing in the hot OR most of the day, overtired, and I don't eat as healthy as I should. For someone who makes a living taking care of others, I take shitty care of myself.

"Dr. Manoban?" someone calls, and I open my eyes to see Somi coming out of the hospital with her lunch in hand.

"Hey, Somi."

"How's your girlfriend doing?" she asks and takes her food and sits at the opposite side of the picnic table than me.

"She's good."

Somi pulls out her salad. "That's good. Congrats again, and sorry if I seemed surprised. It doesn't seem like that long ago you were telling me you didn't want anything serious."

I didn't want anything serious with her. I didn't want anything serious with anyone I dated prior to Jennie. But I can't tell her that. "Things changed."

Somi nods. "Yeah, they do. She's really pretty. Your girlfriend, I mean."

"Thanks. And she is." I want to soak up another few seconds of sun but sitting here with Somi is awkward. Now I get why dating people from work is frowned upon.

"Congrats again."

I nod and get up. "Thanks, and thanks for taking good care of Jennie." Faking a smile, I go back inside. I can hear Bambam's voice in my head telling me it's my fault for shitting where I eat. For once I think he's right.

I'm stopped again, but this time it's by Dr. Miller, one of the attending surgeons I worked under.

"Fancy seeing you here." She raises her eyebrows and smiles.

"It's a shock, right?"

She laughs. "I've been meaning to find you all week. I went to a conference over the weekend. Dr. Crawford was there, and he asked about you."

"He did?" I ask, unable to hide my shock. Dr. Crawford is a renowned surgeon offering a highly competitive trauma fellowship. I hardly got a few words in with the guy. I'm honestly surprised he remembered me at all, let alone got an impression.

"Yes. And I told him you are one of the most promising resident surgeons I've seen in a long time. He was quite impressed to know you were performing Whipples indistinguishable from your attending."

We start moving down the hall.

"Don't tell him that mine were better," I joke, though it's true.

"I'm happy to write you a letter of recommendation," she goes on. "If you do apply for the fellowship—and I think you should—let me know. I hate to see you leave my hospital, but you're a damn good surgeon. This is the right path for you."

"Thank you, Dr. Miller."

She gives a curt nod. "Of course."

We go in opposite directions, and as I get into the elevator to go to the cafeteria, my head starts to hurt. My very first thought was to call Jennie and tell her the good news. Only…is this news good? Following my career goals has been everything to me. Surgery has been my life for the last several years, and I've been dedicated to being a doctor since I got into college.

It was my life.

Do I really want to work long, crazy hours for two or three more years? I'll have to start a job search after that, and who knows where I could end up. Though with the more schooling I get, the more I'll earn and the easier it'll be to find a place that'll want me.

Yes, all that was my life before. But now my life has something greater in it, and for the first time ever, I'm completely torn on which way to go.