"Jane," she sighed into her, snaked the hand that was pressed against Jane's heart up and around her neck, and felt her shiver.
"Please," Maura pleaded, and drew back just slightly, just enough that she could look Jane in the eyes. She'd never seem them look so dark. She begged one more time.
"Please kiss me, Jane."
Sometimes all you have to do is ask nicely.
Jane closed the distance between them so swiftly that Maura spoke the end of her plea directly into Jane's mouth. Jane swallowed up her own name, pressed her lips against Maura's, and kissed her.
Jane was all hard lines and sharp angles, but her lips were soft, and so was the kiss.
Soft, but absolutely not timid. Maura could feel Jane's restraint, the sheer physical effort it was taking to hold back, as Jane just barely brought their lips together, wanting to be absolutely fucking sure. Maura's breath hitched at the moment of contact, and she gasped into the kiss, and Jane really liked that, and Maura could tell.Jane's body released itself against Maura, pressing hard into the kiss. Maura parted her lips, and welcomed Jane in.
Maura gave up her hold on Jane's chin and that hand joined her other around Jane's neck. Her fingers tangled in Jane's hair and held tight as the kiss deepened. Maura tugged down ever so slightly, demanding more, and was rewarded with a groan from deep in Jane's chest. Jane abandoned her grip on Maura's upper arms and wrapped her long limbs around Maura's torso, one arm snaking around her waist, and the other against her upper back, her palm pressed firm between her shoulder blades.
Pressed so close together, Jane's scent surrounded and overloaded Maura's senses: her drugstore face wash, her lavender scented laundry detergent, the special shampoo and conditioner for curly hair that Maura had literally begged her to switch to. The only thing that ever changed was her deodorant, because Jane bought whatever was on sale, women's or men's. Maura was pretty sure it was Old Spice Classic this time. Her head swam at the duality of someone so intimately familiar to her in every way also being so hot and exciting and new. She felt like she could climb inside of Jane and live her life, and also like she was meeting her for the very first time.
And oh my god, she was so hot.
Over the years of their friendship, Maura occasionally had cause to wonder if Jane might just be bad at this. Jane approached men so dispassionately, so infrequently, and so awkwardly that it was difficult to imagine her uninhibited, harder still to imagine her enjoying herself. Her reticence to even discuss sex had convinced Maura that she was likely profoundly repressed and out of touch with her own pleasure.
Turns out it was a men problem, not a Jane problem.
Their kissing were desperate, and wet, and so, so good. Jane kissed in a way that was somehow both competitive and collaborative. It was not unlike her approach to working a case, and in the sexiest possible way, it also reminded Maura of their very best morning runs, when each woman took turns digging deep to find the next burst of energy that would push both of them to a faster pace.
(Had they actually been flirting through jogging this whole time? It made sense if they had. After all, the endorphins were comparable to orgasm.)
Maura released her hold on Jane's hair, her hands coming around to tenderly cradle Jane's perfect jaw. She brushed her thumbs along Jane's cheek bones, felt her masseter muscle flex against her palms, and made an absolutely indecent noise as Jane sucked Maura's lower lip into her mouth and bit down.
The dopamine dumping into her bloodstream was jarring in its strength. Maura's heart unfurled like a time-lapse of a flower blooming, and tendrils snaked out into every limb, flooding her body with warmth. Lust, yes. But also the other thing. For the briefest moment she was overwhelmed, and her knees gave out. Jane's grip around her body immediately tightened, and without much effort, she lifted Maura just barely off the ground, taking her two steps backwards and pressing her against the counter. Maura's shoes skimmed against the floor before she was settled back firmly on her heels, and she couldn't help a moan as she felt the hard edge of the marble dig into her lower back. Jane was looking for leverage. Maura's breath faltered as she felt the corner of Jane's badge dig into her hip, the reminder of her fantasies somehow grounding her so firmly in the reality of the moment.
Finally.
The slim, knee-length tweed dress that Maura was wearing was the perfect outfit for the late summer days of New England. It was amongst the worst possible choices she could have made for what was happening in her kitchen. She felt as Jane's hands scraped helplessly against her hips, desperate to touch skin. She felt how Jane's thigh was trying to find a way to wedge itself between hers. Maura would have gladly set fire to every single stupid sheath dress she'd ever bought if she could have only spread her legs for Jane right then.
The lack of easy access seemed to shock Jane back into herself, and with a shuddering breath she took a step back from the counter, pulling her body away from Maura's entirely.
Maura thought she might cry at the loss.
"Jane," she began, and realized she had no idea what she wanted to say. She searched Jane's face for clues, drawing on her knowledge of micro-expressions and other non-verbal physiological indicators.
Arousal. Indecision. Guilt.
Fear?
"I don't think…" Jane's already low register had reached new depths and Maura's heart clenched at the sound of it. Hearing Jane speak felt the same way the gravel road that made up the final quarter-mile to her parent's beach house had felt, when it rumbled beneath their car, always waking a young Maura up to the fact that they had finally arrived. It was nearly enough to make her forget that Jane was almost certainly going to deliver bad news. Maura eyes made the short trip up to Jane's, and she watched her with apprehension.
Jane licked her swollen lips. Maura resisted the urge to throw herself at her feet.
"Not yet. Not like this," Jane stated with a surprising and truly disappointing amount of conviction.
"Then when? How?" Maura was desperate for it, but she tried to keep the libidinous whine out of her voice. She couldn't just debase herself for this woman. Not yet, anyway.
"Maura…" Jane said her name like a warning. But Maura had watched Jane become withholding with others so many times. It wasn't going to happen to her. Slowly, deliberately, she stepped forward and raised her fingertips to Jane's mouth, dragging the pads of her index and middle finger across Jane's lower lip before tracing a path down her chin, and then along the long column of her neck. She felt Jane's laboured swallow directly beneath her touch.
"I want you, Jane." Her fingertips continued their decent, and she dragged them with purpose down Jane's sternum, appreciative of just how many buttons the detective had left undone that day. "I've wanted you for…" and Maura's voice caught in her throat, and she inhaled a soft oh before finishing, "…so long." She felt Jane's chest rise with her own sharp intake of breath.
"How long?" Jane's voice was hoarse again. Almost too easy. Maura had now reached the first button that was still done up on Jane's shirt. She fingered it thoughtfully, caressing the button between her thumb and forefinger, before slipping one finger beneath the front placket of Jane's shirt, in preparation for release. She deployed her breathiest voice.
"Since I met you. Since I first saw you as yourself." Maura added that last part just to clarify it definitely wasn't when Jane was undercover, and because it sounded good.
But Jane stiffened, and her hand snapped up to grab Maura's wrist just before the button could be unfastened. "What?"
Oh.
Hmm.
Maura might have miscalculated.
"Since you met me?" Jane repeated Maura's words to her. Jane's features were cycling through a whole new set of emotions, and one of them was hurt. Seduction was suddenly on hold. Maura wet her lips, hesitated a moment, then realized there was no way out but through.
"Yes."
Jane stared at her, still gripping her wrist in the space between them. Maura met her gaze evenly, and silently cursed her own foolishness. Her arousal had gotten the better of her, and she had neglected to consider the full impact of her years-long lie by omission regarding her sexuality.
Maura wasn't sure where to begin, but Jane was.
"You've been with women before." It was a realization in real time. A statement more than a question, but judging by Jane's expression, still one that was seeking confirmation. Maura nodded.
"Yes."
Jane released her wrist so suddenly, and took a step backwards.
"While…"
"No," Maura offered immediately, before Jane could finish the question. "Not in years."
This was the first piece of good news she had offered. Maura could tell by the flicker of relief that passed across Jane's stony expression. Finding out Maura had been sleeping with women during their friendship surely would have tipped things over the edge. And where things already were wasn't exactly great, either.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Maura resisted the almost instinctual urge to ask a clarifying question. She wanted to ask if Jane meant about her attraction to Jane specifically, or her capacity to be attracted to women generally, but it immediately occurred to her that to Jane, it really didn't matter which she answered.
"A lot of reasons."
Jane winced. Maura did too, as she heard herself.
"That came out wrong," Maura clarified quickly. "There was always a reason that I didn't tell you, but that reason changed over time."
"Wow, I really can't wait to hear this." Jane folded her arms across her chest and stared at Maura, who tilted her head questioningly.
"…Sarcasm?"
"Yes," Jane affirmed. "Using irony to convey contempt."
Maura figured she deserved that. She searched Jane's face. "But I should tell you anyway?"
Jane didn't answer, and Maura realized the detective wasn't sure if she wanted to know. They were both saved from deciding as Jane's phone vibrated at her belt. She answered it immediately.
"Hey Frost." She stared at Maura as she listened, but it didn't take long for her to grimace and look down. "What?"
Maura's ears perked up, but she wasn't close enough to hear anything through the speaker of Jane's phone. She had, however, clearly broadcast her desire to eavesdrop, because Jane looked up again, frowned, and walked quickly out of the kitchen. She lowered her voice as she continued the conversation in the living room.
Maura stayed in the kitchen, and looked around aimlessly. Her now-cold tea and Jane's now-warm beer were both untouched on the counter. With a sigh, she moved to dump both of them out in the sink. She had finished rinsing her teapot by the time she realized that Jane was no longer talking. Maura looked over her shoulder to find the detective standing in the living room, shoulders hunched, staring down at her phone. She started to walk over to her, but hesitated at the edge of the kitchen, and decided to just call out to her instead.
"Jane?"
Jane was unmoved for another long moment, before she turned around, looking weakly at Maura.
"They picked Amy up. And Korsak managed to find a judge who signed a search warrant for her toolshed tonight." Jane dropped her gaze back down to her phone, which lit up as a message came in. Maura didn't say anything, because she knew Jane wasn't done speaking.
"They went through her gardening supplies and found one trail camera and several pairs of garden sheers." Jane looked back up, and offered an entirely humourless smile. "And one pair with a small reddish brown stain."
Maura drew in a breath, and held it.
"She didn't kill him, Maura. I know she didn't." Jane spoke fiercely, challenging Maura to disagree.
"I believe you." And Maura really did.
"I gotta get down there." Jane was patting her pockets, making sure she had her car keys on her. "They won't let me do the investigation but Korsak said I can have five minutes to talk to her after."
Maura nodded. "I'm coming with you."
"No," Jane said firmly. Maura offered a loud tsk in immediate retort.
"Don't be ridiculous, Jane. There's forensic evidence. You want someone else examining it?" She looked sternly at the other woman, but relented a bit when she saw the turmoil in Jane's eyes. She softened her tone. "I know we have a lot to talk about. I know you might regret what happened tonight. But let's go do our jobs and do them well." Maura pulled her blazer off the back of one of the kitchen chairs, and shrugged into it.
"I don't," Jane said quietly.
"Of course you don't. I'm the best medical examiner on the entire east coast, at minimum." Maura chanced throwing a smug glance over her shoulder as she pulled her hair out from where it was captured under the collar of her jacket.
"I mean I don't regret what happened tonight."
Maura went completely still as she looked at Jane, her expression turned serious. She looked desperately for a physical clue on how best to proceed. Jane was watching her intently, but she was also in her most defensive posture and giving her absolutely nothing else, so Maura had to act on instinct instead. She crossed the room and walked right up to Jane, taking one of her hands in hers and giving it a squeeze. On little more than hope, she also deposited a very soft kiss on Jane's cheek.
"I'll answer every question you have when this is done," she murmured. Jane looked at her, still guarded, and nodded.
"Let's go."