Vents
Sev woke up before the alarm clock rang, although it had already dawned, in the same position, with Lauren asleep hugging him. Oh, in the end she did sleep with me. Would she ever read the letter? I guess so, let's see what she tells me when she wakes up. I'm not going to move, I don't want to bother her, maybe she had a hard time sleeping with the Stimulant and if she read it, ruminating.
I should have let her read it before I fell asleep, even before the massage, so we could talk. What a waste of night. Surely we would both have been comfortable, and this way, it's going to be a very bad memory for me, I'm not going to come back here if I can help it. I have enough with what I have, I cannot afford more sterile suffering.
He continued thinking about the subject, until a good while later the alarm clock rang. She felt Lauren pull away from him and sit up to turn it off. Immediately, she hugged him again, holding him close and kissing him lightly on his head.
Yes, she did read the letter. I should have let her read it right away, like she did with me on Saturday. I got carried away by jealousy. Now we're barely going to have time to be together. He was already crying again.
He put his left hand on top of hers, holding her close, while he projected to her, "I'm awake, Lauren, I've been awake for a while."
"Forgive me, my love. Last night I behaved terrible."
Ugh… what a chagrin she has. She must have gotten very little sleep. He immediately turned to her, who was crying bitterly. The curtain is closed, so I can't see the other bed. He hugged her, she vented clinging to him, crying against his neck.
"Come on, nothing happens. We're just learning to handle a new situation, honey." He held her close, kissing her head.
She just repeated, "I don't deserve you… I don't deserve you…"
"Come on, don't say that, you know it's not like that. I didn't do it right either, I should have let you read the letter before I fell asleep so I could talk. I have given you a horrible night."
He continued trying to comfort her as he cried too, they both had a hard time recovering. What I told you, a real ruin, Sev thought. It's better that we never come in here together again. Now, besides, every time she does it with Jack, she's going to remember that she's been here with me and she's not going to enjoy it the same. How badly we have done it all. Lily already warned me.
When they finally stopped crying, she pulled away from him, looking into his eyes, caressing him tenderly. Ugh… how bad she looks. She must have slept only two or three hours out of a day of twenty-nine. We could go back again with the Time-Turner, so she gets more sleep. We'llgo to the other bed.
"Lauren, you have slept very little. Let's use the Time Turner again, so you can do it."
"No way. When we go out leave it to me, I´ll use it by myself and go to my room to sleep."
Sev thought, So that we don't have to move to the other bed, that I don't stay awake or that my new day is another twenty-nine hours. "Okay, whatever you want."
"And I don't want you to leave it to Jack. We'll get by with the sleep potions."
So I don't find out when they've met. Better. "Alright. I'll give you two bottles of each one so you'll have enough until the end of the term."
"I do not deserve you," she repeated.
"Come on, Lauren, leave it already. It is better that they go to waste."
We're both crying again. He hugged her again. "Come on, Lauren, get over yourself, we have to go out."
"It doesn't matter, there's no hurry. It's still half past six."
She doesn't care anymore that Jack finds out. What I tell you, she loves me much more. "Lauren, don't be hasty, wait for me."
"I can't, Severus. He has been waiting for me for almost a year, he has worked hard to be with me and he is looking forward to it. If I back out now I'm going to tear him apart."
Sev thought, She's right, and I don't want Jack to suffer like this either, he is totally devoted to me. We screwed up completely giving him hope before knowing the Magic of the Moon and knowing that he was not going to accept it. Maybe with time it will sink in him, she will know how to do it.
"It's okay my love," he agreed. "But I am going to wait for you and keep an eye on you, as I tell you in the letter. I'm going to conjure up another Fidelius on the fifth floor, for both of us, and we can also meet in the Room of Requirement whenever you want."
"But it would be a risk that the old man catches both of us coming or going."
"I already told you that he won't be watching your movements, Lauren. If we do it at night, he's not going to stay up watching, he's over ninety years old. And I think it's better for both of us that we don't meet here again, look how bad it made us, even though you haven't been here with Jack yet. Also, I want to teach you everything I learn from him and this space is not suitable."
"Sure."
"And as soon as I Bond as a Couple with Lily, I'll do it with you too, so you can do it with him. Do you think it's okay?"
"I don't deserve you, Severus."
"Come on, Lauren, of course you do. You've been looking out for me since you were eleven years old and I've been looking out for you for just a few months. It's my turn to give you back what you've given me. Hold me tight, come on."
They stayed in each other's arms for another half hour, saying nothing more. At seven they left, Jack and Anthony still sleeping.
Oh, Jack… If you only knew the eleven hours of drama that has been lived out just a few feet from you because of you, without you knowing anything about it…
Sev let Lauren use the Time-Turner by getting into his bed with the curtains cast down so as not to see her disappear.
A minute later he came out and the device was in the drawer of his bedside table. She left it five hours ago. Her day will also be thirty-four, sleeping less than eight. I hope she uses the Restorative Potion.
He got dressed and went down to the Common Room to study, facing the Lake window. Great, today is Wednesday. I'm going to see Lily in Potions and I'm going to sit at the same height as her, in the first row, with only the aisle in between, and the vipers are gone, we can look at each other closely. Wonderful.
Also, I'm looking forward to see the intimidated faces of the trio when they see me go in and out with my escort in the classroom. My revenge.
That's how it was, the Slys entered the dungeon classroom last, wands in hand, shortly before Slughorn did. Lauren is already here, in the Sly second row by the wall, and the eight Gryffs in full, the four girls in the first row and the boys behind them. Surely these three have arrived very early so as not to run into Slys in the dungeons corridors, hell for them. I bet what you want they haven't even had breakfast.
Remus has gone behind Lily again and he has recently arrived, surely it was the place they have left him, because they want to be as far away from the Sly benchs as possible. The rat next to him, behind Cecile, then Black, and Potter furthest away, well away from Lily. I'm going to look at him. One brief glance and his eyes immediately drop. Take that! My revenge. My enemy, terrified. And Black, the one who almost killed me last year? The same.
The rat looks at us in admiration, goofy, with his mouth open and his eyes wide, how unconscious. What a pity, I would have liked to wink at Remus, which do it proud and satisfied. I returned it.
And Lily and Cecile? The same. And Lily has a mature look in her eyes that I've never seen before. He stood right in front of her while the other three got into the bench, looking at her. "I love you, my warrior," Sev said to her.
"I hadn't told you yet, but you make an impression when you move through the school with your escort and we cross paths through the corridors. I admire you deeply, everyone does."
Sev thought, Admiration, an essential part of love, as Mum said. "I also admire you. You are very brave staying by my side with everything that comes our way and despite not being able to be with me."
"Never doubt that I will resist whatever they throw at us."
I'm so lucky. What I thought that night at Christmas. Lily has so much courage that she is able to keep both of us afloat, no matter what. Authentic Gryff. I can cling to her like a lifeline. These two hours I am going to dedicate them to her completely.
So they did. He took advantage of the two hours of class to continuously communicate with her, he only projected Lauren and told Anthony, who at the same time did it with their two classmates, the modifications in the recipes.
He told her about her night with Lauren and Lily let him get his heart out. Without reproaching me for having already warned me that something like this could happen, she comforts me and reinforces me in the decisions I have made, as a good friend does, the best friend, the one who has known me and accepted me since we were nine years old.
It was only the first of many occasions that he would do so from then on regarding the difficult relationship he had with Lauren, never betraying the trust he placed in her by telling the dark-haired girl about it.
At the end of the class, the five Slys, Cecile and Lily, were congratulated by Slughorn for their perfect potions, and the professor awarded ten points to his own House, with the excuse that all of his students had achieved excellence.
Sev thought, Look at him how proud he is, the damn bigmouth, and Lily is going to have to put up with him for three years as a mentor, luckily she doesn't know anything about horcruxes and she won't. I'm sorry for the wolf, who still has to pretend with the others.
When the four Slys left the classroom, the first, he took another look at the Gryffs. Same thing, Potter and Black dare not look and the rat would like to hang with us. His desire, if I see him in training we will beat him all together. And Lily and Cecile's classmates also look at us in admiration. Ha! Maybe we´ll admit them. No, better not, they're gossips and now the other one has Potter to herself, let her stay with him.
The four of them went to Arithmancy. It has felt good to be near Lily and talk to her for two hours straight. I'm sorry for Lauren, but she should know better than anyone, better even than Lily, how much support I need right now, and she hasn't been able to give it to me. Of course, my decision that Lily is the first for everything is totally correct, and if I had to choose, it would be her, always, always.
After Arithmancy they went to lunch and he kept talking with his girlfriend. Thanking her for what she has done for me this morning, further strengthening the bond that unite us.
Then he went to class in the afternoon and waited for Lauren to project to him. To continue talking about the subject now that I feel much more whole in that regard.
But she didn't. What Iwas telling you. Lauren breaks down very easily and she ruminates too much, she's just like me. If we were just the two of us we wouldn't get along, we need Lily. Well, they will see each other this afternoon at the Library and surely Lily will know how to support her in her own way, without betraying what I have told her.
I won't be thinking about the subject until she is better too, so I won't project to her, I'm going to concentrate on the classes. It's my day off from Time-Turning. I'm going to see Damocles Belby tomorrow and to the cave on Friday.
Lauren continued to not communicate with him the next morning. She still hasn't recovered, and she was probably with Jack last night, although I didn't know anything about it. I fell asleep at eleven and woke up at seven.
I will always do like this. When she deigns to speak to me, I'll tell her so that she knowsshe has time to leave the bedroom both before and after that time, if they want to sleep together with the Restorative or each one in their room. Making it easy for her, even if she doesn't make it easy for me, like she knew how to do so well before she knew she had me.
Better, it doesn't matter, I'll concentrate on the classes and on the important mission that I have to carry out after lunch, meeting for the first time with a person who is probably going to be very important in my life and my future apart from all the mess in that she herself has put me into. She knows that I have the interview today and she doesn't even give me an encouragement for it. It doesn't matter, I'll chat with Lily at lunch.
He did, and she advised him how he should behave. Too bad I don't have very appropriate clothes for a formal interview. I'll wear jeans and a shirt, the clothes Lily gave me for Christmas, and the uniform shoes. Last night Audrey gave me a scrunchie of hers to tie up my hair. She was very excited because I asked her and I because she gave it to me, how cute. It's like a little talisman, I don't mind having to do it anymore.
So after lunch he used the Time-Turner two hours back and headed to the Headmaster's office alone and from there by Floo to St. Mungo's. He arrived at the hospital. I haven't been here since Mum had her concussion almost a year and a half ago. What a bad memory. He headed straight for the third floor, up the stairs. Albus has recommended that I not take the elevator, so that nobody has the opportunity to notice me for more than a few seconds, when they pass me in the corridors, and the stairs are empty, nobody uses them. Perfect.
He reached the office and knocked on the door. A few seconds later a girl in a white coat opened it, about twenty-five years old. Belby's assistant.
"Good morning. I've come to see Professor Belby from Hogwarts," said Sev.
"Ah, yes, come in, we were waiting for you. The Professor is in the laboratory, you can wait for him while I go to look for him. Sit here if you would be so kind."
He sat on the visitors' side of the large desk as she left. She has barely taken a look at me, what I tell you, discretion. And she must have been stuck here at all hours waiting for me since Tuesday, without being able to carry out her usual work. How awful. Luckily I came as soon as possible.
Ten minutes later he heard the office door open. He got up and turned. Here he is, my mentor. A man in his prime, less than forty, old enough to have developed his profession but not yet hampered by infirmities. Hopefully I'll be at least as old as him and by then we'll have ridden of Voldemort, still in time to start a family.
"Good morning, Mr. Snape, nice to meet you." Professor Belby held out his hand.
Sev shook it. Firm grip. With me to death. "Nice to meet you, Professor Belby."
"Please call me Damocles. This is how all my collaborators call me, and I hope that you will be soon."
Wow... What Poppy was saying, great person.
"Then, do it with me too. My name is Severus."
"I already knew, you've become very famous."
Damocles grinned at him, Sev beamed back. How nice he is, and he's eager to talk about it, how nice.
"Let's sit down," said the mediwizard.
They did it on both sides of the table.
"I'm sorry you had to wait for me," Damocles apologized. "I didn't expect you to come at this time of the morning. You should be in class."
Ugh... So he himself must have been waiting for me in the office in the afternoon, when he knows I have time to come over before dinner, Sev thought. "Professor Dumbledore has allowed me to use a Time Turner to do this."
"Wow... I'm so glad. That means you have him totally on your side."
Surprised and satisfied at the same time. "Yes that's how it is."
"Wonderful. It was about time he took action on the matter of war. The attitude of the Ministry in this matter seems very inconsistent to me," Professor Belby opined. "How much time do you have?"
It's a quarter to twelve. I have to be back while everyone is having lunch, in an hour. "In an hour I have to be at school."
"Okay, more than enough. Then we can chat for a while. Poppy already told me about your feat. Expel the future Death Eaters from Hogwarts without resorting to violence, only with your brave attitude. You're risking your life at barely sixteen years old."
I really like him. He calls things by their name and speaks openly, so will I. To take fresh wind Lily's recommendations. "I know, I am well aware of it," Sev replied. He looks at me with admiration.
"You did well to tie your hair, you should cut it. St Mungo's is a very public place."
He has been very aware of the news and fears for me. "I have decided not to do it, it is an intrinsic part of my personality and I am not going to give it up. It would be betraying myself out of fear."
"I understand. You don't look like a Slytherin, you look like a Gryffindor," said Damocles.
He has responded immediately. He is not paternalistic at all, he respects me, equal to equal, and he admires me even more. "Yeah, a lot of people have told me lately."
"I am a Ravenclaw," said the professor smiling satisfied.
Proud to be, and rightly so. I smile back at him. "Brilliant Rave."
"And also very proud that my House joined those thirty brave women and men who showed their faces and that the next day they protected you in the Great Hall from the photographers."
"Yeah, they look like Gryffs too," said Sev. "Gryffindor House cheered when they did."
"The whole school united, how wonderful. Historical. You don't know what I would have given to see it."
They chatted for a while longer on the subject and Sev told him about the training. Damocles was in awe of the great initiative they were taking. How I wish I could talk to him about the Ancestral Magics, surely they interest him a lot. But it is something that only those who know Occlumency should know.
Then they moved on to the matter at hand. "I already have here the forms that I need to apply for your scholarship," the mediwizard said taking them out of a drawer. "Since, obviously, you can't put your address, we'll invent one, I'll put it myself."
There was no need to tell him anything, he already thought about it himself.
"A Muggle address that doesn't exist, so that the Ministry doesn't have access to check it and they don't attack anyone by mistake either," Profesor Belby continued. "What do you think?"
"Brilliant Rave. I would never have thought about it."
"Do you have a Gringotts account to collect?"
"I don't," Sev replied.
"Better. Do not open an account, they could monitor your movements. You will be paid in checks payable to you or in bearer checks, whichever you prefer, in case you don't want to risk going to Diagon to cash them. If you go, leave immediately after leaving Gringotts. Don't walk down the alley right after stopping by the bank."
This one could have been Sly perfectly, brilliant and cunning at the same time, like me. How well we will understand each other. It's something I'm going to need an escort for in the summer. Go to Diagon to collect and buy everything for next year. "If I go I won't go alone. I will be accompanied by four friends who are already seventeen."
"Wonderful."
Professor Belby filled out the form with the information that Sev told him, leaving his address blank, which he didn't ask. The little time they had left they talked about the potion, schedules and dedication.
"The scholarship is full time, eight hours a day. It's what you're going to be paid for, but you can come when you can," Damocles explained. "No one but me and my assistant are going to find out when you arrive and leave. In fact, it is better that you do not come every day or at a regular time, to avoid that they control your movements."
What a bargain, they are going to pay me more than I am going to work, wow… And they are also taking a risk collaborating with me, their name will appear next to mine in the Ministry. Lucky there's Lucius' safety valve. I wish I could tell him. "You don't know how much I appreciate what you're doing for me. You are also taking a risk."
"Don't worry about that. In the situation we are all in, we all have to take some risk if we want it to change, and I don't think they would look for your name in a Register of Scholars where only already graduated wizards appear. Our collaboration will not be known until the article is published, and that will be done when we deem it convenient, months from now, when everything has calmed down. And even then, if it doesn't seem appropriate to me, you will appear as the only author and the problem is over."
Willing to forego recognition of his own efforts to help me clear my name, Sev thought.
"Very good. Well, that's all," the mediwizard concluded. "It's half past twelve, it's time for you to leave, I'll be waiting for you from July. Better if you can let me know what day and what time you'll come. I will send you an owl to the school as soon as the scholarship is awarded to you, you don't need to answer me. Do it when you know when you will be able to come here."
Minimize contact by mail, another security measure, Sev realized.
Damocles got up, Sev too. The other came around the table.
"Thank you very much for everything, Damocles."
"Thanks to you."
They parted with another firm handshake, longer than usual as Damocles took Sev's hand with his left as well. He would want to give me a hug.
"See you soon, Damocles. It's been a pleasure meeting you."
"See you very soon, Severus."
He went back down the stairs and straight into the Floo. He arrived at Dumbledore's office when he was in the Great Hall, along with the rest of the school, and locked himself in a toilet in the bathroom of his bedroom until a quarter past one, when his two hours earlier self entered the same cubicle, used the Time Turner and disappeared.