It was just another casual morning when two vehicles pulled up in front of the Rustler's Retreat, specifically Johnny's van and the blood-red Cadillac Shank owned, yet once the two Demons exited their respective rides, one of them couldn't help but notice that something was different about the other.
"Someone's lookin' chipper today," Shank commented with a chuckle, unable to look away from the fact that Johnny was smiling like an idiot, almost as if he'd just been given the winning lottery tickets of the next five years and a tax write-off.
"O-oh! Sorry, boss," the Snake replied bashfully. "I just can't help myself. I've been so giddy, I couldn't even sleep last night."
"Yeah, I know," Shank retorted. "The whole reason why happened right outside my office, remember?"
Johnny, of course, only gave an awkward chuckle at that. What's more, his outburst of joy yesterday had quickly become the talk of the club for a good few hours afterwards, though most of that revolved around the wins and losses of the betting pool. Either way, from this moment onward, Johnny felt as if he were on top of the world.
"Alright, come on, Romeo."
Obliging his employer's request, Johnny then followed him towards the entrance without hesitation. Once inside, they were both welcomed by the sound of incredible country music, the sight of a gorgeous waitress in revealing cowboy attire and the familiar smell of barbecue and booze.
"Alright… Where is my lovely lady!?" Shank cried out, his own grin suddenly growing tenfold and he scanned the room.
"Over here, boys!"
Hearing that familiar voice calling out to them from behind the nearby bar, Johnny and Shank turned to see Shelly, the pretty, bespectacled Squirrel Demon waving at them while making her way out. Seeing the lovely vision of his girlfriend, Shank immediately purred like a beast and adjusted his collar before suavely making his way over. Seeing his employer act in such a way, Johnny immediately couldn't help but chuckle as he felt the tables begin to turn.
"Hey, babe," Shank greeted Shelly with a small kiss on the cheek as they met in the middle of the room. "How's my best girl doing today, hmm?"
Shelly, of course, couldn't stop herself from blushing at that.
"Oh, can't complain," she said, bashfully playing with a strand of her hair. "Better now you're here though."
Hearing that, Shank once again let out a seductive purr. At that moment, Johnny's amusement quickly changed into a feeling of unease. With the way those two were looking at each other, it was almost as if they were about to start going at it right there on the bar… and needless to say, it was making the Snake Sinner quite uncomfortable.
"Oh get a room, you two!" a new voice suddenly said. "We ain't got enough bleach to clean up whatever mess y'all are planning to make."
Turning around, Johnny was met with a smiling individual who, currently unbeknownst to him, had already shared a mutual friend. A gorgeous Imp girl with long, white hair, a green flannel shirt and a pair of denim hot pants, AKA Ember from the Wrath Ring.
"Howdy, Shank," she greeted the long-clawed Demon cheerfully. "Good to see ya."
"Ah, likewise Ember," Shank greeted back with his own grin. "How're you faring?"
"Couldn't be better, boss man," Ember chuckled, her gaze suddenly shifting to Johnny. "So who's this handsome fella?"
Despite technically being already spoken for, Johnny couldn't help but blush over being complemented by such a pretty lady. An effect Ember appears to have on most during first encounters.
"This here is my associate and employee back at the Peppermint Puss, Johnny Blues," Shank introduced the Greaser to the young lady. "In fact, HE'S the one responsible for your latest coworkers."
"That so?" Ember asked curiously, giving Shank cause to nod.
"Mhm," the long-clawed Demon replied before turning back to Shelly. "Speaking of, any problems so far?"
Thankfully, Shelly appeared to only have good news for that question.
"Not one, hun," the Squirrel Demon replied, shaking her head as she gestured to one of the nearby tables, where a certain Succubus was wiping down while wearing the same tight-fitting uniform as the rest of her coworkers. "Bella is amazing. A hard worker, and some MUCH-needed eye candy around here. The customers can't get enough of her. And Clara's a top-notch barmaid if I ever saw one."
Hearing that, Johnny couldn't help but sigh with relief, given the nightmare he had to go through before bringing those two here. A small part of him was somewhat worried things might have gone south. Thankfully this was one of the many times he was glad to have trusted Mick's judgment.
"And what about the big one?" Shank spoke up, scanning the area for one particular individual. "The Hellhound?"
It was at those words that Johnny immediately froze up. If there was one Demon who could possibly cause trouble in this place, the former Hellhound lackey to a spoiled bitch who destroyed anything and anyone she commanded him to was a strong candidate. Surprisingly enough, however, Shelly appeared to give him high praises too.
"Well, put it this way, sweetie," Shelly answered with a smirk in the Snake Demon's direction. "Bruce is basically Johnny… but so much better at his job."
At those words, the two immediately shared a laugh, much to Johnny's annoyance.
"You know… I'd probably feel a little more insulted if it more than likely wasn't true," he commented with an embarrassed sigh. "Bruce CAN be quite the powerhouse. I mean he's a Titan among hounds, he's a beast who can just SCARE thugs into submission, he's… right behind me isn't he?"
However, the Greaser didn't even need a verbal answer to figure that one out. The look on everyone's faces as he spoke was more than enough.
"Hello, Johnathan."
"YIPE!"
The instant Johnny heard that familiar voice, he immediately stiffened up with fright. Slowly turning around, it was no surprise for him to see none other than Bruce, wearing almost an exact copy of his own attire towering over him.
"Hey… Bruce," the Sinner greeted the Hellhound awkwardly, hoping he didn't say anything to piss him off. "How're you doing?"
Thankfully, Bruce appeared to be in much higher spirits compared to when Johnny last saw him.
"I'm doing grand, my friend," he said with a chuckle. "Not only do I have better hours than my last job, but my coworkers are delightful and the pay FAR surpasses what I used to make."
"And we're happy to have you, big fella," Shelly spoke up with a smile. "Seriously, Brucey here's the best security guard we've ever had in this place."
"Darn tootin!" Ember added. "NOBODY causes trouble whenever he's in the room, AND he's a banging singer on karaoke night."
Needless to say, Bruce couldn't help but blush at that. Given what he had to endure with his last job, being praised in such a way was brand new territory for him. Of course, what Ember or Shelly never cared to mention was the fact that everyone was still a little unnerved and surprised that the giant Hellhound could somehow get inside without breaking the door.
"Well then, seems like everything's in order here," Shank chuckled, seemingly impressed by everything he's seeing. "I'll admit I've had my doubts, but I'm not one to deny when I'm wrong. Well done, Johnny."
This statement, of course, gave Johnny cause to sigh in relief. It would seem that for the moment, he had avoided going into the grease fire.
"Eh, I can't take all the credit, sir," he said humbly. "If anyone deserves the praise for finding these mooks, it'd be Mick."
Hearing that name, Shank couldn't help but chuckle.
"That boy sure knows how to get into trouble, huh?" he commented, sharing a laugh with his employee.
Ember, on the other hand, was quickly surprised upon hearing that particular name.
"Mick?" she repeated. "As in Mick Nikos!? You know him?"
Considering the fact that Johnny was only partially responsible for bringing Clara, Bella and Bruce to the Rustler's Retreat, it was understandable that Ember had no clue that she and Johnny had a mutual friend since she was employed much sooner than the others were. In her case, it was solely due to Mick's help after he sent that recording of her music. What's more, since Johnny had only come to this place on occasion during the last month, it wasn't as if the two found the time or a reason to start chatting. Well… no time like the present.
"Uh… yeah, I know him," Johnny answered with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"
With her suspicions confirmed, Ember's smile grew even wider.
"Damn right, I know him!" she declared with a small laugh. "Holy shit, how is the ol' wild cat? Is he still doing that blue flame thing?"
"Meh, not recently but…" Johnny began, only to quickly collect himself midway. "Wait, how do YOU know Mick?"
"Oh, we met when he got stuck down in the Wrath Ring a while back," Ember explained, smiling as memories of that time came flooding back to her. "Hell, he even spent a couple of nights staying in my Granny's saloon."
Johnny, of course, couldn't help but feel intrigued by that. True he had heard about Mick's unwilling excursion down to one of the lower Rings but in all honesty, he found it somewhat difficult to believe. If it wasn't for the fact that there was video evidence of Mick's fight in the Pain Games, he probably would have dismissed the whole story as a work of pure bullshit. Now here he was, talking to one of the Wrath Ring locals, who appeared to be close with his friend and former coworker.
"Well, bite my ass and call me 'Skippy', isn't this a small underworld?" the Snake Demon chuckled, welcoming Ember with a firm handshake.
"Couldn't have put it better, sugar," Ember replied, returning the handshake with gusto.
"So you were the one hosting Mick on his enforced vacation, huh?" Johnny asked curiously. "He did behave himself, I hope?"
Once again, Ember could help but laugh and the Sinner's joke.
"Oh, he was like a gentleman…" she answered.
"Oh, good," Johnny replied, glad to hear that Mick never lost his chivalry even in one of the toughest places in Hell.
"… Can't say the same for ME though,"
Needless to say, Johnny was immediately taken aback by that last part, even more so when Ember began to purr like a ravenous cat.
"Say what now?" the Greaser uttered, wondering what Ember meant by such a statement.
"Sorry," Ember replied, licking her lips as a particular memory of Mick's last night in Wrath came rushing back to her. "A girl never kisses and tells, sugar,"
Johnny really wished that the conversation with Ember didn't end with that, but unfortunately Shelly cleared her throat to grab their attention before either of them could say another word.
"ANYWAY," she said. "Now that we're all acquainted, perhaps we can… get back to business."
"Baby, not in front of the children!" Shank added playfully, once again sharing a chuckle with the Squirrel Demon as they both edged closer together.
Seeing this display, Johnny, Ember and Bruce couldn't help but give the two a deadpan glare.
"Seriously, boss?" Johnny uttered, wondering if this inspection was, in reality, just an excuse for a booty call that he somehow got dragged to as punishment.
Shank, of course, only scoffed in response to such a comment.
"What? A pair of grown adults can't have a little fun?" he retorted, much to Johnny's annoyance. "You have your boo, I have mine."
"Mhm," Johnny uttered irritably, rolling his eyes in frustration since he couldn't even find an argument against that statement.
"Now, if there is nothing else," Shank continued, holding out his hand to Shelly. "Shall we… get down to business, babe?"
That was the last thing Johnny would hear his employer say before he and Shelly ran off in a fit of giggles, after which they would disappear for the next hour. The moment the two left the room, Johnny instantly smacked himself in the face and groaned.
"Unbelievable," he uttered, his voice slightly muffled by his palm. "We work for a pair of horny TEENAGERS!"
Ember, on the other hand, couldn't help but giggle.
"I think it's sweet," she commented. "Given what Shelly's been through, she deserves a little fun once in a while."
"Hm? What do you mean?" Johnny asked curiously, much to Ember's horror.
Realizing she let something important slip, Ember swiftly slapped her hand over her mouth with embarrassment. Her face turning an even deeper shade of red, she desperately tried to cover up her mistake.
"I… uh, I really shouldn't say," she said. "Can we just pretend I didn't say anything?"
Alas, Johnny had his moments of stubbornness too.
"No way, girl!" he said firmly. "I'm even more curious now."
With the hole she dug herself now a fair bit deeper, Ember let out a defeated sigh. She may not have known Johnny at all, but if he was one of Mick's friends, maybe he could be trusted to keep a secret.
"Promise you won't say I blabbed?" she asked, earning herself a small nod.
"I give you my word," he said firmly, even giving a small mocking Scout's Honor salute. "Now come on, spill."
Looking up at Bruce, Ember gave the giant Hellhound a small nod. Thankfully, the large canine appeared to take the hint and chose to give the two a moment of privacy, making his way over to the stage area. Once she was sure the two of them wouldn't be overheard, she let out another sigh and spoke.
"Okay, rumour has it that Shelly ain't been in a relationship for almost 30 years," she explained in a hushed tone. "She don't like to talk about it, but I hear she lost all trust in men after her husband ran off with some skank when she was alive."
"Wait, seriously?" Johnny replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Mhm," Ember continued with a nod. "The heartless bastard left her and her youngin all alone and never came back. Worse still, she didn't have no money, no other family, nothin'! Poor gal was left with shit. Even after she got here, her opinion of men only got worse. Before she worked here, I heard she spent 10 years working for some Emporium up in the Cannibal Colony."
Now things started to make a little more sense. When Shank first bought the Rustler's Retreat, Shelly did appear to be a little hostile whenever he and any other male Demon walked into the same room. In hindsight that probably would explain the almost entirely female staff even before Shank owned the place. It was only after a couple of months that Shelly seemed to mellow out, choosing to replace hurtful comments with witty sarcasm and fawning all over Shank like a lovesick cheerleader… seems like the big guy has a lot more charm than Johnny initially gave him credit for.
"So… you're actually surprised by all of that?" Johnny asked curiously, earning himself a raised eyebrow.
"You're not?" Ember retorted, slightly taken aback by the question.
"No," Johnny answered bluntly. "Honestly, that's like the backstory for nearly a quarter of all the female Sinners in Hell."
Though somewhat irritated by the Snake Demon's bluntness, Ember nonetheless couldn't argue against his choice of words. If one were to sift through all the Sinner women in Hell who have had their hearts broken, it would have taken all day just to go through 1% of them.
"Alright, I'll give ya that one?" Ember relented before her face turned into a serious glare. "But it's still a sensitive subject for her, so I'd appreciate it if y'all could keep your trap shut."
At those words, Johnny immediately shot his hands up with unease.
"Alright, alright! I won't say a word!" he declared defensively. "I don't get into business that ain't mine anyway."
"Oh?" Ember retorted with a smirk. "That's not what Bella and Clara told me. In fact, they say you caused quite the ruckus up at the Triton."
"I swear it was all Buzz's idea!" Johnny quickly snapped, understandably wanting to avoid getting the blame for the incident as much as possible.
"The crazy little fella with the broken horn and the twitchy eye?" Ember asked curiously, hoping she got the details right.
The moment the memories of what Buzz got up to back at the Triton Resort, Johnny instantly shuddered in horror.
"There is no asylum in all of creation that can contain that lunatic," he gulped, causing Ember to giggle again.
"Mick does tend to surround himself with the most interesting people, huh?" she asked, giving Johnny cause to sigh.
"I guess you can say that," he admitted. "If by interesting, you mean completely bonkers!"
"I suppose that includes us, eh?" Ember chuckled, her face suddenly softening into an awkward expression. "So, uh… how're things going with him and his lady friend? Any progress?"
Needless to say, Johnny was immediately taken aback by that question, so much so that he couldn't really give a solid answer.
"I'm… not sure," he answered honestly, having a rough idea of who this lady friend was. "He hasn't said anything."
Hearing that, Ember immediately let out an annoyed groan.
"Ugh… seriously!?" she exclaimed. "Okay, pardon my choice of words, but how can a guy who's both a beast in a fight AND in bed be such a pussy when it comes to sharing his feelings!?"
Choosing not to question that last part, Johnny could only glance away and rub the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Uh… the fear of rejection?" he offered, only adding to Ember's irritation.
"Okay, we ain't talking about YOUR love life, Johnny," she said bluntly, giving the Snake Sinner a deadpan look.
"Hey, most guys like Mick need the right time and place to confess!" Johnny argued defensively. "Trust me, it's harder than you think."
At those words, Ember could only let out an exasperated sigh.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," she admitted. "It's always the decent guys who take their time while the assholes just like to slap and grab."
Seeing the look on Ember's face when she said that, it wasn't long before Johnny gave the Imp a knowing smile.
"You're pretty fond of that Cat, huh?" he asked, causing Ember's smile to return.
"Me and half of Wrath!" she declared proudly. "I even hear he's got a few fan clubs back home."
Once again, Johnny was instantly taken aback.
"No fucking way," he uttered in disbelief, much to Ember's amusement.
"What can I say?" she retorted with a shrug. "The guy made a big impression on us Wrathian folks."
"Yeah, but THAT big!?" Johnny exclaimed, feeling somewhat jealous of his former coworker after hearing such a thing.
"Oh, that ain't even the half of it, Johnny boy…" Ember chuckled before suddenly calling out to another Imp that was setting the equipment up on stage. "Hey, Bessie! Guitar me!"
Suddenly, the Imp onstage tossed Ember's guitar over to her, which she caught in one hand before she suddenly began plucking a few strings. Before Johnny realized it, Ember suddenly broke into an abrupt musical number that drew the attention of everyone in the room.
Ember:
He was born with a blaze in his fur,
The toughest Cat that you ever saw,
Boy, he could take down a beast with just one slash,
We call him Michael Fireclaw!
The Staff:
Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh!
We call him Michael Fireclaw!
Hearing that chorus emanate from many of the Imps in the room, along with a few Sinners, Johnny once again couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Never in his life or afterlife did he think that his friends would become so popular. Still, he couldn't hold back a smile as everyone got into the music and Bella and Bruce took up the next verse.
Bella:
He could punch out a hundred Hellhound goons,
He's mighty strong despite his size,
Bruce and Bella:
His tail's so long, it strings them up,
He'll light you up with just his eyes!
Staff:
Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh!
He'll light you up with just his eyes!
Needless to say, it wasn't long before Johnny himself got into the music, so much so that he didn't hesitate when a random Imp pulled him to a small dance.
Staff:
Michael Fireclaw!
Michael Fireclaw!
Before long, Ember was carried over to the stage, her fingers plucking the strings of her guitar like a musical magician, she laughed in delight as the house band played along with her music and the rapidly forming audience grew more ecstatic as time went on.
Ember:
And though fire burns through his veins,
And awesome plans run through his head,
He also has kindness in his soul,
And is a wild man while in… bed?
Suddenly the music stopped for a moment and an awkward silence filled the room, giving Ember cause to violently blush with embarrassment after having said more than she intended to.
"Hehe…" she uttered sheepishly, giving off another smile before quickly bringing the music back with her guitar.
The moment of awkwardness being quickly forgotten, it didn't take much motivation for everyone to get back into the rhythm.
All:
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Ember:
Michael Fireclaw!
Staff:
(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
All:
Michael Fireclaw!
(Hey! Hey!)
With that final note, the song came to a close and the entirety of the Rustler's Retreat was filled with the roaring cheers of Johnny and the rest of the staff, praising Ember as she took a graceful bow to her captive audience.
Later that night, the biggest moment of Johnny's afterlife was only minutes away as he anxiously stood outside the Peppermint Puss, awaiting his date for the evening. Needless to say, the longer he waited, the more stressed he began to feel. After so many failed attempts to ask Desiree out, it almost didn't feel real that the date he had desired for so long was finally here. Honestly though, given the circumstances, he felt so nervous that he actually started to feel a little sick. In fact, it took all of his willpower to keep himself from throwing up right there on the street.
"Hope you weren't waiting long."
Upon hearing that sweet voice, Johnny immediately stood at attention, his anxiety all but forgotten for a brief moment as he looked upon Desiree in her new attire. Though she no longer wore the skimpy getup she used for work, being a Succubus, even her casual clothes screamed the word "sexy". Standing before the Snake Demon, she wore a black leather miniskirt with a thigh-high slit in the side, a blue crop top that exposed her toned midriff that also had a heart-shaped window in the front that exposed a great deal of cleavage and this was all topped with a pair of knee-high leather boots and a short leather jacket with spikes on the shoulders. If anyone were to see her and Johnny standing next to each other, it was highly likely that they would assume they were a couple already.
"Oh, wow…" Johnny uttered, his jaw dropping so far and fast, it almost dislocated from his skull. "You look incredible."
He may not have known whether Desiree actually dressed up for the occasion or that she was just naturally this sexy, but the Snake Demon was definitely going to burn this image of her into his mind forever. Seeing Johnny's reaction to her appearance, the Succubus in question could help but giggle.
"My, you're quite the charmer, aren't you?" she said, playfully lifting the Sinner's jaw with a finger. "So where're we having dinner?"
Shaking his head and straightening himself out, Johnny gave Desiree a smile and opened the passenger door to his van, which was parked nearby.
"Well, I happen to know this nice little eatery a couple of blocks over," he said, trying to sound as confident as possible. "I… hope that's okay?"
Thankfully, Desiree seemed to smile at that.
"Sounds lovely," she said, much to Johnny's relief.
"Then… on the off chance of sounding incredibly cheesy… your chariot awaits, m'lady."
Gesturing towards the van and bowing his head, Johnny almost smacked himself upside the head for saying something so cringey. The moment he said those words, he immediately hated himself for doing so. Thankfully, Desiree only seemed to find the display amusing, even… cute.
"My, what a gentleman," she giggled, stepping into the van after giving Johnny a wink and a playful boop on the snout.
After taking a moment to recover from the sudden flush to his face, Johnny closed the door with an excited grin and proceeded to get into the driver's side. Finally, he had taken his first step towards what he hoped to be a pleasant evening.
As Johnny drove through the Pride Ring towards his chosen destination, he and Desiree chose to pass the time by trying to make small talk. Of course, during the trip, Johnny did bite his tongue once or twice.
"… I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Mick got himself a fan club in one of the other Rings," he said, getting into an intriguing conversation with Desiree about what he had heard earlier that day. "I mean Pride, I get, but Wrath? Next, we'll be hearing that he's partying with Beelzebub or getting high with Belphegor. Seriously!"
Desiree, of course, couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, you know how that old song goes. 'High school never ends.'" she replied. "Even in Hell, people are… Well, people. So if your online videos make it big, then YOU make it big."
Johnny, however, could only shrug at that.
"Meh… I wouldn't know much about that," he said indifferently. "My high school experience was WAY different."
Of course… since Johnny died in the 70s, Cell Phones weren't all that advanced back then. Hell, back in his time people were still using phones on the cord. So, obviously, such a statement didn't apply to him.
"Fair enough, I guess," Desiree uttered with an indifferent shrug. "So… different how exactly?"
Giddy that his crush didn't even hesitate to try to get to know him better, Johnny had even less hesitation when providing an answer.
"Well, let's put it this way," he said. "If you ever saw the movie Grease, I was basically one of the background characters who lurked under the bleachers."
Once again, Desiree couldn't help but smirk.
"Oh?" she replied playfully. "You weren't the one peeking up girls' skirts, were you?"
"What!? No, no, no, no, no, I wasn't, I swear!" Johnny quickly elaborated, his face instantly turning red at the insinuation. "I was just one of the outcasts, you know? The guy no other group would associate with."
Hearing that, Desiree's face softened a little, suddenly feeling sympathetic for the Sinner in the driver's seat.
"I see…" she uttered.
"But don't worry, none of that got me down," Johnny said reassuringly. "I had my crew, my ride, and my personal style and that was more than enough for me."
"Sounds like you had a good life… up until the whole drill thing at least," Desiree commented, a small genuine smile on her face as Johnny made one final turn down the street.
"Ah, here we are!" the Greaser declared, quickly parking his van in the next available spot. "M'lady Welcome of the Scarlet Serpent."
Curious, Desiree leaned over and looked out of Johnny's side window, much to the latter's excitement due to how close she was getting. Sure enough, they had arrived at a small building with a small set of steps leading downward, stopping just in front of a black door with a neon sign hanging above it, one in the shape of a ruby-red cobra. At first glance, it appeared to be no different than any other seedy bar in Hell, but if Johnny was the one recommending it, then Desiree had no choice but to trust his judgment. Stepping out of the van, the two gave each other a soft smile before Desiree offered her hand and allowed Johnny to escort her down the stairs.
However, as the two made their descent, neither of them was aware of two Hellhounds grabbing a beverage from the coffee shop across the street. What's more, one of these Hellhounds just so happened to be a certain Rottweiler still recovering from a knife wound in his shoulder, who immediately spat out his drink in shock upon seeing the familiar pompadour across the road.
"Hey Yuri!" he snarled, elbowing his friend to get his attention. "It's him! The greasy fucker from the hotel!"
Seeing the Sinner himself just before he disappeared down the stairs, the other Hellhound, a burly white Wolf, immediately growled in fury.
"Call Frank and Howard and tell them to get their asses down here," he uttered, his sharp teeth dripping with saliva as he spoke in a thick Russian accent, squeezing his coffee cup so hard it was crushed in his grip. "Ve have a Snake to skin."
Meanwhile, Johnny and Desiree had already taken their seats at a small table in the corner of the room, a young Imp waitress in a black frilly dress having just finished taking their order.
"Okay, so that's two Non-Cannibal-style Filet Steaks, cooked medium rare, one with extra onions, along with one Rum n' Coke and one Martini," she said, reading off the order on her notepad. "Will there be anything else?"
At that, both Desiree and Johnny shook their heads.
"We're good," Desiree replied, giving the waitress cause to nod. "Thank you."
"No problemo," the waitress replied. "Your food will be out momentarily."
After that, the Waitress turned and headed back towards the kitchen, leaving the two lovebirds to their business. Now that they had the table to themselves, Desiree couldn't help but scan the room.
"So how'd you find a place like this?" she couldn't help but ask. "I mean compared to most places here in Hell, this looks pretty decent, all things considered."
A simple description, but accurate as far as Johnny was concerned. Unlike some of the bigger, fancier restaurants one would think of, the Scarlet Serpent was barely more than a small eatery. A large wooden space with small square tables situated all over the main floor with a separate room on the left side for the kitchen and an island connected to the same wall for a few patrons to sit on stools. If one were able to compare this place to anything, one would say that this place seemed like a fusion of an old American diner and a log cabin. Of course, the biggest selling point was the lack of buckshot or bloodstains on the wall.
"Well, believe it or not, I found this place by accident," Johnny chuckled. "Woke up on the floor of this place after passing out drunk during a bender."
Hearing that, Desiree couldn't help but smirk as she raised a curious eyebrow.
"A bender?" she repeated "How'd that happen?"
"Well… it was when I had one of my more stressful days," Johnny sheepishly elaborated. "One of my clones went a little crazy up in my head, and I basically had to drink myself into a stupor just to shut him up."
Desiree, of course, had to stifle a laugh at that.
"You're kidding," she said in disbelief, making Johnny blush even more.
"Man, I wish I was…" he uttered, much to Desiree's further amusement.
At that moment, the waitress came back with the couple's chosen drinks, laying both glasses on the table before leaving again. Seeing his favourite beverage right in front of him, Johnny wasted no time in taking the first sip, at this rate he needed all the liquid courage he could get.
"I have to admit, this is pretty nice," the Succubus in front of him commented. "The location, the atmosphere, you certainly know how to treat a girl."
"Well… when you're asking someone out, you would need to put in SOME effort," the Greaser pointed out bashfully.
"Indeed," Desiree replied with a smile. "Kinda makes me wonder why it took you so long to ask me out to begin with."
At those words, Johnny instinctively tugged at the collar of his shirt. While he may have somewhat expected such an inquiry, it was still a difficult subject to explain for him.
"I… I guess it was the ol' nerves getting the better of me, you know?" he eventually said with an honest tone. "I mean, you prepare yourself to take the plunge then all of a sudden that voice in your head starts screaming 'You mook! What could a classy gal like her want with a loser like you?!' Then all of a sudden your nerves are shot and you end up walking away without saying anything."
Hearing those words leave Johnny's lips, Desiree suddenly found that it was her turn to blush, something that hadn't truly happened in what felt like a long time.
"That's pretty sweet of you to say, Johnny, but I'm FAR from 'classy'," she replied, once again gaining a smirk. "Plus, I think in your case, it's four voices."
Though sharing a laugh at the Succubus's joke, both Johnny and Desiree found themselves looking at each other with a fresh perspective. In Johnny's case, he now saw a vulnerable side to Desiree that she never let anyone see while at work. As for the Succubus herself, since her kind were rarely treated this well without the Demon looking for something more juicy in return, it was nice to actually go out with someone so… genuine. For the first time in years, she felt what it was like to be treated just like a real lady.
"Oh, by the way," Johnny suddenly spoke up, clearing his throat as he reached into his jacket pocket. "I wanted to give you this a long time ago, but I never was able to work up the courage to give it to you back then."
Curious, Desiree watched with bated breath as Johnny slid a small rectangular box across the table to her, one made of black material with a red ribbon wrapped around it. Unable to resist the urge, she untied the ribbon and lifted off the lid, only to suddenly find herself gasping with surprise. There, laying in a bed of custom-shaped foam, was a shimmering blue-petaled rose with a dethorned, gold-wrapped stem and preserved with natural protein resin, making it shimmer in the light. Though getting a bouquet would have been nice enough, somehow this gift felt even more special.
"Oh my…" Desiree uttered, unable to say anything else due to being in awe.
"I… might have needed to make a few adjustments since I bought it," Johnny admitted, remembering the day he went into the florist before he inevitably chickened out of a previous confession and had to take the flower to a craftsman to be preserved. "Anyways, I heard long ago that it was your favourite kind of flower… I know it's not much, but-"
Suddenly, Johnny was cut off by the riveting sensation of Desiree leaning over the table and giving him a big kiss on the cheek. Moments later, he couldn't help but grin like an idiot for the next 10 minutes.
A short while later, outside of the restaurant, the two Hellhounds who spotted Johnny walking in impatiently waited while trying desperately to resist the urge to kick the door in.
"Vhere are they!?" Yuri snapped. "The fucker von't stay in there forever!"
"They'll be here!" the Rottweiler, Dave retorted. "Just keep your skirt on!"
At that moment, a beaten-up SUV pulled up outside the restaurant, before two more Hellhounds, a Bloodhound named Frank and a Dalmatian named Howard, stepped out.
"He's inside?" Frank asked with an angry snarl.
"Da," Yuri growled back. "Luckily, he hasn't come out just yet."
Hearing that, Howard cracked his knuckles and smirked before putting on a pair of knuckle dusters.
"Then let's go make this bastard pay… in BLOOD!"
After finishing up their dessert of chocolate cheesecake, Johnny and Desiree were both feeling completely satisfied and not just with the food either.
"You know, Johnny, as far as first dates go, you didn't do half bad with this one," Desiree commented, much to Johnny's delight.
"Thanks," he said gratefully, his smile fading ever so slightly as a certain thought crossed his mind. "Though to be honest, I half expected it to end in a disaster."
Given the circumstances, no one could really blame Johnny for thinking such a thing. After all, given the lack of confidence he had shown when trying to ask Desiree out to begin with, he hardly expected that he would have that much more, if any, when actually ON the date. Plus, considering that this is HELL, there could have been all kinds of outside factors that would have ruined this date before it even began. But despite all that, both Johnny and Desiree were happy to say that this went pretty well.
"Well, I think we can agree that your worries were for nought," Desiree pointed out with a smile, "Seriously, Johnny, you don't always need to be on guard, thinking that something bad will happen."
At those words, Desiree took Johnny's hand in hers, causing the Snake Sinner to suddenly feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
"Life is a box of chocolates with a missing label," Desiree continued, her eyes never once breaking away from those of her date. "Sometimes you just gotta take a bite and see what happens."
Hearing that, Johnny's hand gently squeezed Desiree's, feeling at a complete loss for words as he looked back at the Succubus with admiration and awe. How in the actual Hell did he manage to score a date with such a perfect woman!?
"Thanks, Des," he said with a content sigh. "And sorry for sounding like such a worry wart. I guess it's just hard to imagine something good happening to me without something else coming back to bite me in the ass later."
DINGALING!
Suddenly, their attention was drawn to the sound of the doorbell ringing as four Hellhounds burst into the restaurant, each one a different breed but nonetheless looking equally pissed… unfortunately, their anger seemed to be focused on one specific individual.
"There he is!" Dave snarled. "There's the fucker!"
The moment the Rottweiler said that, Johnny immediately slammed his face against the table.
"Aaaaand there it is!" he snapped, mentally cursing his own rotten luck as the Hellhounds approached the table, glaring at Johnny like a pack of wolves ready to take down a stag.
"Who the hell are these clowns?" Desiree asked with a raised eyebrow.
Giving the pack a second glance the moment they got closer, Johnny was ashamed to admit that he couldn't place any of their faces at that time.
"I have no fucking clue," he uttered honestly, much to the Hellhounds' rage.
"You seriously don't remember us!?" Frank snarled. "You cost us our jobs, you damn lowlife!"
"You STABBED me!" Dave barked.
"AND put some of our friends in the hospital!" Howard added.
Hearing that, Johnny quickly tried to rack his brain for anything that might be related to what they were saying. Suddenly, when he set his eyes on the Rottweiler in particular, it all started coming back to him.
"The Triton Resort…"
"Oh, NOW he remembers!" Frank snapped, understandably furious over apparently being forgotten after so short a time.
"As if the humiliation wasn't enough, Gaap fired all of us for allowing you and those other bastards to escape while the hotel burned," Yuri added, cracking his knuckles in an intimidating manner. "I believe that gives us justification to make you suffer."
Not liking where this conversation was going, Johnny slowly reached for his switchblade while keeping eye contact with the Hellhounds.
"In my defence, most of what happened that night was because of some dumbass Imp…" he started, only for Howard to smash his fist against the table.
"Does it LOOK like we give a shit!?" he snarled, his teeth bared and dripping with saliva.
"Yeah, we don't accept excuses from a dead man!" Frank added.
At those words, Desiree immediately tried to rack her brain for a solution to this conundrum. If nothing was done soon, she had a feeling that this standoff was going to get messy VERY quickly.
"Gentlemen, please, there's no need to get violent," she spoke up, quickly trying to get the Hellhounds' attention.
Unfortunately, her attempt was not met with a friendly response.
"You keep your mouth shut, slut!" Yuri barked, much to Johnny's anger.
"Yeah, this doesn't concern you!" Dave added.
Needless to say, Johnny didn't appreciate the insult in the slightest.
"Who do you think you're calling a slut, needle-dick?" he snapped, rising from his chair and increasing the tension in the room. "You should consider yourself lucky that you're in the presence of such a woman. What? Feeling antsy just because someone cut off your balls?"
Desiree didn't know which she liked better, Johnny defending her honor, or him ripping into the Hellhounds while doing so. Either way, the look on Yuri's face spoke volumes.
"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this SO much!" he snarled.
Realizing that this was quickly going to escalate, Desiree narrowed her eyes in thought as Johnny tried to get between the Hellhounds and her. Suddenly the Succubus spotted something from the empty table next to theirs and an idea popped into her head.
"Johnny," she whispered into the Sinner's ear. "When I give word, duck."
Johnny may not have any clue as to what was going through the Succubus's head, but he nonetheless trusted her judgment and gave her a small nod. Before either Johnny or the Hellhounds could even have a chance to react, it happened.
SMASH!
"HEY! What the fuck!?"
It may have been impulsive, but Desiree got the result she wanted. While the Hellhounds were solely focused on Johnny, she quickly snatched an empty whiskey bottle from the table next to theirs before suddenly swinging it at the neighbouring table. What's more, said table appeared to be completely occupied by a bunch of beefy-looking Sinners who apparently chose to ignore the nearby conflict as if it were an everyday occurrence… which considering where they were, it probably was. However, the instant the bottle smashed against the head of one particular Sinner resembling a roided-up Minotaur, ignorance no longer seemed to be an option.
"Motherfucker!" he roared, standing up from his chair and rearing his giant fist for a punch.
"NOW!"
Immediately responding to Desiree's words, Johnny quickly ducked to the floor, narrowly missing the Minotaur's fist by millimetres before suddenly it collided with Howard's face.
BAM!
Before he realized what had happened, the Dalmatian Hellhound was sent flying across the room, smashing into the table of another group of diners. Then just like the first domino to be knocked down in the line, everything escalated within a matter of seconds.
"FREE FIGHT!"
With that loud declaration from one of the other diners, the entire restaurant fell into chaos. At that moment, all the Sinners and Hellborns at their respective tables started attacking each other left and right, some of whom targeted the Hellhounds before they even had a chance to react. Before he knew it, Frank suddenly had his teeth knocked out by an oncoming chair, allowing Johnny to punch Yuri and Dave in the groin while they were distracted. With all remaining Hellhounds momentarily down, Johnny and Desiree quickly tried making their escape, though not without Johnny grabbing his wallet and slapping 100 souls next to the till on the way out.
"Uh... keep the change!" he cried out.
With that final note, both Sinner and Succubus slipped out of the restaurant… Although most of the room was distracted, their departure didn't go unnoticed. Despite their pain, both Dave and Yuri did, in fact, witness Johnny's escape and proceeded to follow him out of the front door. However, with everyone beating each other senseless inside the restaurant, the two Hellhounds were delayed in their pursuit so much that by the time they burst out of the front door and climbed back up the stairs, they were barely able to catch Johnny driving off in his van with Desiree by his side.
"Daughter of a bastard!" Dave snapped, kicking a nearby trash can in frustration.
However, while it may have appeared that their prey had slipped through their fingers, Yuri's anger refused to allow him to give up just yet.
"Get the car," he growled.
Meanwhile, in Johnny's van, both the Sinner and his date were breathing hard as they tried to catch their breath.
"Well… I'd be lying if I said that this wasn't one of the craziest ways I've ever left a restaurant," Desiree joked, much to Johnny's embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry, Des," he apologized regretfully. "I promised you a pleasant evening, and it STILL turned into a massive shit storm."
Hearing that, Desiree couldn't help but look at Johnny with sympathy.
"Hey, come on, it wasn't your fault," she said reassuringly "Some idiots just don't know when to let go, that's all."
As much as he appreciated Desiree's effort, Johnny nonetheless let out a solemn sigh.
"I really wanted tonight to be special, ya know?" he said.
Before Desiree could give a reply to that, however…
BANG!
SMASH!
"What the FUCK!?"
Suddenly, a gunshot sounded in the air and Johnny's side view mirror was blasted right off the van. Daring to take a look into the mirror on her side, Desiree gasped in horror upon seeing a large SUV speeding towards them with two familiar Hellhounds at the wheel.
"We got company!" she yelled, much to Johnny's dismay.
"DAMN IT!" the Greaser snapped in frustration. "Fucking Buzz! I swear the next time I see him, I'll shove him in front of a-"
"BUS!"
Instantly reacting to Desiree's voice in time, Johnny gasped and quickly turned the steering wheel, causing the van to narrowly swerve just in the nick of time to avoid colliding with a bus coming up from the right.
"JESUS CHRIST!"
The Hellhounds behind them, however, weren't deterred in the slightest. No matter what obstacle was in the way, their speeding SUV just seemed to plough through it despite its size. As such, it was no trouble whatsoever for Yuri and Dave to swerve away from the bus as Johnny did, though not without causing some cosmetic damage to the back of it.
"Keep it steady!" Yuri shouted as he reloaded his pistol and leaned out of the passenger window. "I'm gonna blow his damn head off!"
BANG!
Suddenly, the other side mirror was blasted off Johnny's van, though not before Yuri's gun also left small dents in the bodywork. It was at times like this that Johnny actually congratulated himself for spending that little bit of extra cash for reinforced car parts now and then… though that wouldn't matter much considering he'd only managed to get enough just for the back half of the van.
"FUCK!" Johnny snapped, tilting his head ever so slightly to shout back at the Hellhounds chasing them. "WOULD YOU BOTH JUST PISS OFF ALREADY!?"
Suddenly the Hellhounds' SUV picked up speed, taking advantage of the now empty road and pulled up along the driver's side of the van. Within a matter of moments, both vehicles were neck and neck as they continued to speed down the street. Unable to contain their excitement, both Yuri and Dave chuckled in delight as the former once again loaded his pistol before reaching out of the window and pointing his weapon straight at Johnny's head.
"Do svidaniya, Zmeinyy ublyudok!" Yuri snickered, his toothy grin flashing with glee.
This was it! This was the day Johnny died AGAIN! Of all the ways to go, this was not the way the greaser had hoped… suddenly he noticed something that the Hellhounds clearly didn't, something that immediately caused him to forget his fear and smirk.
"Eyes forward, ass-sniffers!" he snickered, pointing down the road and slamming his foot down on the brake.
Had Dave kept his focus on driving rather than watching Yuri ready himself to pull the trigger, he too would have been smart enough to stop driving forward as Johnny did. Alas, confused by the Greaser's statement, both Hellhounds looked ahead and suddenly found themselves screaming as a large semi-truck filled with cigarettes came driving through the upcoming crossroad.
HONK! HONK!
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
CRASH!
BOOM!
Before anyone knew it, the SUV drove straight in front of the truck, causing it to be ploughed across the street for a few feet before both vehicles suddenly went up in flames. As the duo inside Johnny's van looked upon the scene, understandably shell-shocked at the sight of the wreck and probable homicide they helped cause, all either of them could do was just stare blankly as the flames began to rise. Despite everything though, only one question seemed to pop into the Greaser's mind.
"So… will this affect my chances of getting a second date, or…?" he asked, unable to word his question any better regardless of whether it was appropriate or not.
Desiree's answer, however, instantly took him by surprise.
"I dunno…" she replied, her face completely flushed as she answered Johnny's question with one of her own. "Is it weird that I'm kinda turned on right now?"
Needless to say, Johnny's jaw immediately dropped after hearing that.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh…" he droned out, his brain completely broken as lewd thoughts began to flash through his head.
Seeing that, Desiree couldn't help but giggle.
"Okay, then," she continued. "Here's a better question… my place or yours?"