On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads

Enigmaris

Chapter 23: Becoming an Acolyte in One Easy Step

Summary:

The twins meet their idol.

Notes:

School has begun and so has my suffering! Woo! Please send me some good vibes. Thanks for the brilliant comments last week!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The twins apparated down from Ron's room directly in front of Harry and his dad. Harry only jumped a little, far too used to the twins antics to be even a little bit shocked. Of course he was shocked a second later when Fred pulled him from his dad's side and into a hug while George bodily moved between them and pulled his wand on his dad.

"Harry, stay back. We got this." George said, eyes narrow. His dad had lifted up both hands in a show of peace and surrender but Harry knew better than to be fooled. His dad was still just as armed as he had been a moment before.

"I don't know who you are but you've got a lot of nerve coming here." Fred said.

"Guys?" Harry said. "He's with me."

Both twins froze for a moment and then immediately the tension eased. Harry was no longer being shoved into Fred's chest and George immediately pocketed his wand.

"Well why didn't you say so?"

"Yeah it's almost like you wanted us to make idiots of ourselves?"

"Oh cruelty thy name is Harry."

"I've never been so embarrassed."

Harry rolled his eyes and walked back over to his dad's side. His dad quirked an eyebrow at him and Harry just nodded a little to promise that this was normal.

"And who is he then?" George asked.

"Honestly Harry don't you have any manners?"

"I'm sure our mum taught you better than that."

"Or perhaps not."

"This." Harry interrupted the twins, he had been planning on saying it was his dad but the look on the twins' faces made him abruptly reconsider. "is Prongs."

"Did he just say?"

"I think he must have."

"It couldn't be."

The twins looked up at his dad with awe in their faces. His dad, thankfully caught on, and he spoke in a very regal and serious tone.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Fred fell to his knees while George gasped and reached out. Both of them, of course they did, had tear in their eyes.

"We are not worthy."

"Sir, we are but humble acolytes."

Harry grinned as the twins continued to practically prostrate themselves at his dad's feet.

"They found the Marauder's Map when they were first years. Stole it out of Filch's office and everything."

"Ah. Two boys after my own heart I see." His dad said. "I do hope you put it to good use?"

The twins nodded and started talking over each other to explain exactly how good a use they put that map too. The door to the backyard burst open and out came Ron, red faced. He stopped when he saw there wasn't any fighting going on and leaned forward to catch his breathe. He then made his way over to their group at a more sedate place. He stopped right in front of his dad and held out his hand.

"Nice to finally meet you, Loki." He said before faltering. "Or did you want to be called…"

"Mr. Potter is just fine, Ron." His dad said taking Ron's hand. "And it is an honor to meet you."

"Wait, did you say Loki?" George said.

"Did you say Potter?" Fred said, at the same time.

Loki grinned and straightened himself out.

"I am Loki, god of mischief." He said. "I am also James Potter, Harry's dad."

Needless to say the twins needed a few moments to get their heads on straight after that reveal. Harry and Ron both laughed at their shocked faces, he didn't think he'd ever seen the twins at a loss for words but here they were. Gaping like fish and staring at Loki like they couldn't believe it.

"What" Fred eventually began.

"The fuck?" George finished.

"It's a long story." Harry started.

"I'll tell you later." Ron said. "Mate you can't be here."

"Why?"

"Dumbledore knows." Ron said gravely. "He noticed that the Blood Wards were failing and went to your relatives. The Entire Order is searching for you now to get you back to Surrey before the wards break all the way."

Harry's stomach dropped and he clenched his jaw just a little. Before he could say anything his dad placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and spoke seriously.

"They are not taking my son from me." Loki said. "Not again. But you are right, Ron. Remaining here is not in our best interest. Your parents are still in the Order right?"

"Yeah."

"Then we should leave, at least for now."

"We can go to the shop." George offered.

"Yeah! It's where we live now, it's not open yet so it should be safe." Fred added.

"It's going to be a joke shop." Harry told his dad. "The twins are brilliant with pranking supplies and stuff. You'll love it."

"Well then how could I possibly refuse?"

"It's 93 Diagon Alley." Fred said. "We'll take Ron and meet you there, yeah?"

"Do we need to get anything else?" Ron asked. Is there going to be a fight?

"Just your wand." Harry said shaking his head. "And your broom if you want. It's good news. Well at least our stuff is."

"But we need to know what's been going on here."

"I'll tell you everything I know." Ron promised.

Ten minutes later they were all inside the not yet open joke shop. Products lined the walls and shelves and Fred and George were admirably showing off all their wonderful inventions to a delighted Loki. Harry didn't think he'd ever seen his dad this childishly delighted by anything in his life before. The three pranksters were now talking about the various uses of the Insta-swamp balls and Harry decided to leave them to it for a while.

"Ron. What's been happening? You haven't called me in a few days and I don't want to call you when your parents are around unless I have to."

"Dumbledore came by. He knows I know where you are." Ron said. "I didn't tell him! Didn't give him a single clue, but he's not stupid. There's no way you'd go someplace without telling me."

"Skiving Snack Boxes! That's brilliant!"

Harry rolled his eyes at his dad's interjection and then looked back at his friend. Ron looked stressed, sort of like he did before their OWLs but worse somehow.

"What did Dumbledore do?"

And Ron told him. Harry listened as his friend revealed what the last few days had been like and the full details of his one on one confrontation with Dumbledore. The description of the chess match and Dumbledore's attempted manipulation with the Head Boy promise chilled Harry to the bone.

"He was there."

"What?"

"That night when I showed you the mirror. He had to have been there." Harry hissed. "How else would he have known to bring you being Head Boy up?"

Ron grimaced and looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry about that."

"About what?"

"About wanting to be Quidditch Captain and Head Boy."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Harry you were standing there wanting to not be an orphan and all I wanted was some stupid titles that don't mean anything. It was stupid."

"It wasn't!" Harry denied. "You don't need to feel bad for wanting that Ron. I only wanted my parents because I didn't want to be with my relatives anymore. When I found out my dad was alive, the first thing I did was punch him. Neither of us really knew what we wanted."

Ron huffed a laugh and then sniffed, rubbing his nose on the sleeve of his shirt.

"I just realized talking to Dumbledore that I don't want to be Head Boy anymore. It's not…what I thought it was. And I've made a lot of…I've said things and done things to you and 'Mione cause of what I thought I wanted. And I'm sorry. I don't really deserve being…I promise I'm not going to do that again."

Harry thought back to their fight in his fourth year and the other small tiffs they'd had over the years due to Harry's fame and fluctuating popularity. Harry also thought about how he'd also lashed out at times, especially in the last year.

"Ron. Have you forgiven me for all the stupid stuff I said to you in the last year?"

"Course I have." Ron said. "You were under a lot of pressure with your scar and Umbridge."

"So if you can forgive me for being stupid and not trusting you as much as I should have, then why can't I forgive you for being a little jealous sometimes?"

That made Ron crack a grin.

"We were both pretty dumb huh?"

"Yeah. I don't know what Hermione sees in either of us."

They both giggled. In front of them his dad and the twins were looking at the various pranked candies that the twins had invented and discussing new iterations that could be made on the existing recipes.

"Why do I have a feeling introducing them was a mistake?"

"He's already got Remus and Sirius." Harry said. "It was already too late, unfair to keep the twins from the party."

"Sort of sad I'm not going to be your dad's favorite Weasley." Ron said in a joking wistful tone. Harry elbowed him lightly in the side and grinned.

"You're my favorite though."

"Well that's something at least."

"Dad!" Harry called out. "We need to start talking business. Dumbledore's bothering Ron."

"What? What's the old fool done now?"

Ron explained what he'd told Harry, although in slightly less detail, and Harry's dad listened seriously.

"Alright then. I suppose that means moving up the time table some. I had planned on waiting a few more weeks before revealing myself to Dumbledore but I won't have you suffer any longer Ron."

"Can you explain why we don't like Dumbledore anymore?"

"I'm all for it but having a reason is nice."

Harry was the one to explain, telling them that Dumbledore had known his dad was alive and had lied to the world about it while also lying to his dad about Harry, Sirius, and Remus being alive. The twins took it with all the dramatics expected. They switched between cursing out Dumbledore and promising revenge on the old man and listening to Harry raptly as he told them that Sirius was alive and back on earth.

"Dumbledore wanted to make sure I stayed on earth and under his control because of the prophecy. Ron's been covering for me, I'm not going to go back to the Dursleys and I'm not going to let Dumbledore control me anymore." Harry finished.

"I, or should I say the Marauders, have a plan." His dad said. "I need to return to The Order. If we reveal immediately the truth, then Dumbledore will be disgraced and what few forces we do have on earth will scatter. Until we have all the information Dumbledore's been hiding, I can't remove him from our lives."

"We're in." Fred said.

"Oh definitely. What do you need from us?"

"I'm going to return to the Order soon, within the week. I'd like you to help me drum up support. People are bound to be suspicious of me, of the story I'll concoct. The more people I have on my side the less Dumbledore can do against me." Loki said. "I already have Remus on my side of course, Sirius too once he reveals he's alive, but there are more and more Order members and they've been following Dumbledore for a long time." Loki said. "I'm sure you two can handle that though."

Fred and George immediately both saluted to their god and swore to do exactly that. Harry had no doubt in his mind that's what they saw his dad as. He was their god, the representation of what they valued most. Harry grinned and stepped forward.

"So dad. What do you think of the shop?"

"It's absolutely lovely."

"It is pretty great." Harry agreed. "It's been a long time since you've had a temple yeah?"

His dad rolled his eyes while the twins both lit up in unholy glee.

"Forge!"

"Gred!"

"We need a shrine!"

"A shrine to our god!"

"A sacrificial fire to burn rubber chickens in!"

"Oh Your Grace, please forgive us for not preparing for your arrival."

"Your highness! We meant no disrespect! We have built this humble store in thy name!"

"Silence!" His dad commanded, his voice solemn and serious. "I have seen thine works and I am pleased by thine sacrifice. This place shall be my temple and you two my prophets. Ye shall preach my gospel of mischief and trouble making with your moderately priced wares, this I so command."

"We solemnly swear on all things no good that we will follow your word."

"We will speak of you and we will teach of you."

Harry and Ron were both holding their hands over their mouths trying not to laugh as Fred and George swore their undying service and devotion to the god of mischief. Ron's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. Unsurprisingly the three tricksters were taking the entire thing as seriously as if it were a funeral. His dad even went so far as to place his hands on the twins' foreheads and bless them. His hands glowed a bright green and the magic settled itself into the twins. Harry had no idea what magic his dad had just done but he looked pleased with himself.

Once the prostrating and praying and blessing was done, Harry mentioned the fact that he had a party to get to.

"That's why we came to The Burrow, to invite you to my First Flame Party. It's like an Asgardian coming of age thing I guess."

"Yes. Today is a day for celebration." His dad declared. "We knew we couldn't celebrate anything for Harry without you there Ron."

"I don't know if I can go. Mum isn't going to let me sneak out, especially not with the whole Dumbledore thing."

"We'll cover for you."

"Yeah Ickle Ronnikins, go have fun. As far as mummy knows."

"You'll be here with us!"

"Spilling your guts."

Ron beamed and punched one of the twins in the arm as thanks. Harry grinned at the scene. He felt clear headed as he stood in the joke shop. Not only had he and Ron had a good talk (those were rare enough) but he'd had some time to think about what Hermione had been trying to tell him before she'd almost chopped him in half. Some of the guilt that had taken hold of his heart since Cedric's death had lessened.

It wasn't his fault.

But it was your idea to both take the cup.

Peter Pettigrew killed Cedric, he is the one to blame.

Cedric is only the beginning. Who will be killed next because of your ideas?

Harry hadn't made Cedric take the cup and he wasn't making his friends follow his ideas.

It wasn't his fault.

He knew that tomorrow this argument might not be so easy to make. Merlin even a few hours from now he might fall back into blaming himself and trying to pull away from his friends to protect them. But thankfully his friends wouldn't let him get away with it and Hermione was obviously more than willing to lecture him on it repeatedly until it stuck in his head.

This war was not his fault. The people who had died, who were going to die in fact, were not his burden to bear. Voldemort had begun this war, he was the one who had chosen to start it again. None of this was on Harry. His chest felt as if it were expanding as he thought those words a few more times. His shoulders straightened just a tad and he lifted himself to his full height.

"What are you smiling about?" His dad asked.

"I…I'm just happy."

Of course the moment he admitted that, a searing pain ripped through his scar. Harry's face spasmed and his knees buckled. Ron recognized the attack for what it was immediately and jumped forward helping lower him to the ground.

"Harry!"

His mind filled with flashes of rage and he held back the scream that was gurgling in his throat. He felt hands slowly lowering him to the floor as his limbs started twitching wildly. Even though he knew his eyes were screwed shut he still saw things. A bone white hand, a flashing wand, a mass of dark robed figures. His ears filled with a cacophony of noises, his dad and Ron telling him to calm down were mixing with snarled orders and plans.

Then, just as quickly as it started, it stopped.

"Harry?"

Harry opened his eyes to see that his dad had a hand on his scar, green magic sandwiched between his hand and Harry's forehead.

"Mate, you okay?"

"The…did you stop the vision?"

"I believe so." His dad said. "I modified a spell designed to cease divination magic. Your situation is not at all the same but it muted your connection at the very least."

"What did you see?" Ron asked.

"Tom…He's ordering an attack on…" Harry blinked a few times trying to make sense of the swirling unclear vision. It was clear that Voldemort's rage had opened up a small connection between them, one that was highly accidental and unplanned. The whole thing had been disjointed but eventually Harry seized upon the memory of a particularly silvery modern building. "On New York!"

"What?" His dad asked. "Why?"

"In my last vision…He'd found out I'd been spotted in New York? Remember those Death Eaters you took down for me?" Harry said. "He…he thought I was there to contact the American Ministry."

"Oh Odin." His dad said. "We need to move, now. Fred, George. Contact the Order. Tell them that New York is about to be attacked by Death Eaters and perhaps You-Know-Who himself."

"Tell them I told you." Harry said. "They'll believe you and besides… It's time to stop hiding."

He'd had a few weeks of calm. Well not necessarily calm but he'd had time to recover. His magic was at full strength and he'd been doing some training. More than that he had his dad. Everyone scrambled to get ready to go. Ron made it clear he would be going with them to New York and Harry didn't argue. It was his friend's choice. Of course the twins also volunteered to go.

"Here." His dad said producing a portkey made out of a ribbon for the twins. "Once you've sent out the message use this. It'll take you to Avengers Tower and you can join us. Harry how long do you think we have?"

"He's in New York. So not long." Harry said.

"Then there's no time to waste. Ron, come here. I'll take us back now and get both of you suited up."

"Suited up?" Ron asked as he took his place on his dad's other side.

"I ordered some armor for Hermione and you." His dad said. "I knew both of you would be fighting alongside my son and it's best to be safe about these things."

"I'm getting armor?"

"And a sword."

And with that his dad teleported the three of them away from the joke shop and to New York in a pillar of green flame. They were in his dad's bedroom Harry knew, Ron was looking at the room in awe.

"Jarvis! Sound the alarm! There's going to be an attack from Tom Riddle! Here in New York!"

Immediately the room was filled with flashing red lights and an alarm noise. Harry and Ron both winced at the shrill tone.

"Harry." His dad said. "Do you know where he's going to attack?"

Harry shook his head. The vision hadn't been that clear. His dad cursed but nodded anyway. He waved his hand producing three sets of armor, one set that Harry knew because he'd already worn it.

"Get into that and help Ron into his. It's enchanted to size to him once it's on so don't worry about the fit." He ordered. "I'll send Hermione in here and tell the others what's going on. Hurry."

Harry nodded and tugged his friend over. Ron was ogling the armor sets. Each set was a light forest green, the same color as his dad's. They looked fearsome and serious enough that Ron didn't wrinkle his nose at the slightly Slytherin color scheme.

"Come on let's get into this."

"I thought you only said I'd need my wand."

"Well it's a good thing you brought it right?" Harry joked.

"Yeah. Good thing." Ron said. The door then burst open and Hermione rushed in.

"Oh! Ron you're here!"

"Course I am. Wouldn't miss it." He said. "Come on, let's suit up."

With Harry's help and instruction they were all able to get into the armor. True to his dad's word the armor on his two friends changed shape to fight them properly. Once their boots were on and their swords were sheathed, they rushed out of the room. The alarms were still blaring painfully. Harry led them out of the room and up to the elevator. He knew the Avengers would be in the penthouse.

The three teens ran in, wands drawn to see that everyone else was ready too. Iron Man's armor gleamed, Captain America's shield shined, and Bruce Banner's eyes were much greener than normal.

"Good." His dad said. "You're here. Anything new from the scar?"

Harry focused for a moment and closed his eyes. His scar was twinging with a bit of pain.

"He's close." Harry said. "Coming closer I think. It hurts whenever we get near each other."

"We think he's going to attack the Ministry building here." Sirius said. "The magical president works there so it'll make a big statement especially since they're not prepared for a full scale attack."

"I'm going to go warn them." Remus said. "Hopefully they'll listen to me despite my… condition."

"I can't go and neither can Sirius for obvious reasons. While Remus warns them the rest of us are going to get into position to stand guard for the arrival."

"Let me go." Harry said. "Warn the ministry."

"Harry." Remus said.

"No. I can do that. They'll listen to me. You know they will." Harry said before turning to his friends. "Guys stick together, once I've given them warning I'll find you and we'll fight together."

"Why will they listen to you?" Thor asked. Harry stood tall and looked his uncle dead in the eye.

"Cause I'm Harry Potter."

Notes:

Fight! Fight! Fight!