On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads
Enigmaris
Chapter 27: Harry's First Flame Party
Summary:
They finally have that party Loki insisted they throw to celebrate Harry coming into his own.
Notes:
Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the amazing responses last week! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I can't wait to read your comments this week! 3
Chapter Text
Harry's first flame party was…understandably tense, at least at first. Plenty of the Order members had been asked to leave once everything had been explained to them. Harry's dad had promised to bring Harry and everyone else to London for a full meeting in a week's time. Dumbledore had been understandably reluctant to leave before getting a chance to get anything more out of the situation, but his dad had been firm.
Harry had been sent to bed with a promise that the party would be the next day. Tony had been kind enough to give the Weasleys and Tonks, who'd been invited to stay for the party, guest rooms for the night. The Weasleys because they were practically Harry's family, and Tonks because she was good friends with Remus and Sirius. Harry also admired her quite a bit. His dad had popped back to London with Mrs. Weasley to get Ginny from the Burrow and bring her to New York so she wouldn't be alone in Britain.
In the morning, after a tense breakfast with the magic users while Mr. and Mrs. Weasley avoided looking at Harry due to their guilt, the party began. His dad was forcibly cheerful as he showed off the purple flame that was still merrily burning in the sconce his dad had conjured. It looked to be roughly the same size it had been when his dad had first placed it there. Harry wasn't really sure what that meant but his dad certainly seemed pleased by it.
The first part of the party was more ritualistic. Thor and Loki performed the whole thing with much more gravitas than Harry expected. He was forced to stand next to his first flame while Thor offered him a sword, and his dad offered him a bit of his own green magic, symbolically representing Harry's growth into adulthood. Harry didn't feel like an adult, but this was about as close to a birthday party he'd ever gotten that wasn't tinged with some sort of drama. He was determined to enjoy it, to make this a pocket of joy.
Once the ritual was done and Loki had introduced him as tradition required, a young man beginning his journey into maturity, the party became far more familiar to him. There was a table of food and drinks, Jarvis was playing fun muggle music at an appropriate volume, and conversations flowed throughout the room.
The first people to congratulate Harry were Sirius and Remus. Sirius pulled Harry into a hug and mussed up his hair with a fist. It had taken Harry time to get used to these sorts of touches. His dad and Thor had been terribly careful with how they touched him in the beginning. Only doing it when he could see and had warning of it, always softly.
Sirius had been much the opposite. He was rough with his affection, sort of like an oversized dog who jumped on people when it got excited. Sirius had touched Harry so often, with and without warning, that he'd been rapidly desensitized to it. He'd actually sort of appreciated it because on some level it proved that Sirius was really truly alive and with him again. When Harry had started responding to Sirius in kind, most everyone else had also started to be a bit freer with their touches.
Harry was quite sure he'd been touched more often in the past few weeks alone than he had been in the last decade combined.
"I'm so proud of you pup!" Sirius said releasing Harry from the hug. "Your first flame!"
"You don't even know what that means." Harry said.
"It means that it's important enough to make James smile like that. Kid I haven't seen him look this giddy since Lily agreed to marry him." Sirius said nudging Harry in the side with an elbow. Harry giggled a little at that. "Anyway. I figured since I've got so many years of presents to catch up on I could get you something now and then something next month for your birthday!"
"You got me something?"
"Oh don't look so surprised!" Sirius said. "Trust me you're gonna love it! I had to search all over New York until I found the perfect one!"
Sirius snapped his fingers wandlessly conjuring a brightly wrapped box. Harry grabbed the box from the air and gave it an experimental shake. When nothing made a noise, he ripped at the paper and opened the box. Inside was something made of supple black leather. Harry carefully removed the item to reveal it was a leather jacket.
"Cool right?" Sirius asked. "It's just like the one I used to have! I wore that all the time at your age!"
"I know." Harry said. "I've seen the pictures."
"Put it on!" Sirius insisted. "You'll be a regular lady killer with a jacket like that, mark my words!"
Harry smiled and pulled on the brand new jacket. It fit well on him, the lines on the shoulders molding to his own body. The folds on the chest of the jacket looked crisp and clean and the sleeves of the jacket only bunched a little at his elbow in a way he was pretty sure was intentional.
"See!" Sirius said. "Remus doesn't he look sharp?"
"Yeah." Remus said. "It does look good, although I'm not sure it's his style."
"Of course, it's his style! A leather jacket looks good on anyone!"
"Thanks Sirius. I love it."
"Check out the pockets on that! I charmed them so that they'd fit practically anything in there!" Harry dutifully reached into the front pockets and found that they were significantly larger than he expected them to be. He smiled, ready to thank Sirius again, when his fingers brushed up against something. He grabbed at the metal and pulled it out to reveal a key ring with one silver key on it. "And that's part two!"
"Part two?"
"You can't have a leather jacket like that without an accessory to go with it!"
"Sirius." Remus growled.
"Don't be like that Moony! Kid's almost 16, totally old enough to own a flying motorcycle enchanted by yours truly."
"A flying motorcycle?" Harry squeaked.
"Yep I heard about your flying car incident and I knew you'd just love something a bit more portable. My first motorcycle got lost after I was sent to Azkaban, so I bought a new one for you and magicked it perfectly. Once we can sneak out from under your dad's nose I'll take you out and show you how to drive it."
Harry sniffed once and then pulled Sirius into a hug, hiding his now blinding smile in the man's shoulder.
"Thank you."
"What are godfathers for?"
"Sirius. I can't believe you're being so irresponsible!"
"Oh please. Like you got him something sensible!"
"For your information I got him a book." Remus said in a very snooty tone. The man waved his wand, conjuring the book which had been wrapped in silvery paper. Harry laughed a little and let go of Sirius to take the book. Carefully Harry unwrapped it too, letting the paper drop next to the box Sirius' gift had come in. All three of them looked at the title.
"Really Remus? You're gonna claim the moral high ground?"
"Well it's not like I wasn't going to be there to monitor him and his friends."
"You got me a book on animagi?" Harry wheezed.
"Not just a book." Remus said. "The book. This is the book your dad and the others used to manage their own transformations all those years ago. It's filled with their notes and tricks. If you started now, you and your friends could probably manage the whole thing by the time summer ends."
Harry could hardly believe his eyes. He opened the leather tome and saw to his pleasure there were three signatures on the cover page. Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail. Harry leafed through the book and saw jokes written in the margins and sentences that were roughly crossed out and replaced with frustrated corrections. Sirius and Remus were now arguing with each other about which of their gifts could be considered more irresponsible. Harry closed the book and then pulled Remus into a hug.
"I love it." Harry said. "Thank you!"
"Just don't tell your dad who gave it to you." Remus said. "It's our job as your honorary uncles to teach you things that would horrify your dad."
Harry giggled at that and promised to keep it secret.
"Good. Don't hesitate to ask either of us questions while you're working on it. When you need supplies let me know. I'll get you everything you need." Remus promised with a smirk, he looked far too pleased with himself.
"Oh look. James' noticed us. Hide that book and get outta here pup. We'll distract him." Sirius said.
Harry grinned and stuffed the book into the pocket of his new jacket. He'd tell his friends about it later out of earshot of the adults so that they could start work on it right away. He skipped away and heard his dad start demanding explanations from his friends about the looks in their eyes.
"Harry!" Thor called out. "Come over here!"
Harry turned on his heel and made his way over to Thor who'd been in the middle of talking to Tonks about Asgard. Tonks gave Harry a pat on the back in congratulations and told them that she was going to get a snack.
"I've a gift for you." Thor said. "Do you recall the conversation we had in Asgard?"
"I…yeah I remember." Harry said looking at his feet for a moment. "If you're trying to change my mind…"
"I'm not. I respect your decision." Thor said firmly. "But I think my idea might be too your liking."
"Well let's hear it." Harry said folding his arms over his chest.
"Tyr is one of the most respected warriors in all of Asgard. He is interested in apprenticing you, you truly impressed him during your time in Asgard. Not to mention the other trainees are missing their new friend."
"They miss me?" Harry asked.
"They do." Thor confirmed. "Although Baldur didn't seem pleased to learn your identity."
"He didn't like me much." Harry said with a grin. "Seemed a bit jealous really."
"Of course he would be!" Thor said. "I explained to Tyr the situation that you couldn't live in Asgard, that you had a duty to your home. He insisted that I extend this offer to you."
"Which is?"
"Once a week you come to Asgard and train with him and the others. Only for the afternoon." Thor said seriously. "Heimdall would keep an eye on earth while you were there and Loki would create a communication method so that you could be alerted immediately if anything were to happen. You'd train with him personally for half the day and then for the rest of the week your father and I would help you practice."
"I…" Harry really had no words to use. Thor gave him a smile and a light squeeze on his arm.
"Harry. There is no one better in all the nine realms to teach you how to weild a blade. Not only that but he'll teach you how to dodge and block better than anyone." Thor said. "You could grow so much and every moment you spent in Asgard would be helping you become the best warrior you can be, better than Tom."
"I don't know…" Harry trailed off. "You know how I feel about Asgard."
"A little peace in your life isn't going to harm anything." Thor said. "I promise you, if anything happens on earth you'll be able to come right home. You can have this without guilt. I swear to you on my hammer, I'll defend this planet with everything I have while you're off learning. That's my gift to you, I'm promising you peace of mind while you're in Asgard."
Harry swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat. Thor somehow managed to find exactly the right words to pierce his gut.
"Can… can Ron and Hermione come with me?" Harry asked, turning his head to look at his two friends. "They should learn too, we're in this together."
"I don't see why not. Although you will have to convince Ron's parents to allow it." Thor said. "You've got to understand. Tyr is desperate to teach you, if that means teaching two humans how to have your back then he'll do it. Might even be happy to do it once he sees how fearsome Hermione is."
"I'll talk to them then." Harry said. "But what about when I go back to school?"
"I'm sure we'll find something that works with your schedule." Thor said grinning. "You're going to love it Harry. Trust me."
"Is this like the Asgardian version of loving it where I get a bunch of bruises?"
"Obviously!"
Harry laughed and thanked Thor for the gift. He imagined it was difficult to get these sorts of accommodations for Harry together. Tyr didn't seem like the sort of guy to give people these sorts of allowances easily. It warmed Harry to know that Thor had listened to his concerns, truly listened to them, and had then found a solution to Harry's problem. It made his throat feel sore just thinking about it.
Harry wandered away from Thor, looking out at the party. There was still some tension in the room. The Weasleys were causing it inadvertently with the Avengers, those who knew the truth and those who didn't clashing with every other sentence. Ron was huddled over by Hermione, still rather upset with his parents for being so strict with him the day before. When Mrs. Weasley had figured out that Ron had known where Harry was the whole time she had been very displeased.
The twins were talking with Bruce of all people, strangely enough Bruce didn't seem annoyed or bothered, although there was a weird sort of tension going through his frame. Ginny, being who she was, was talking with Steve about whatever she felt appropriate. Harry thought he heard her telling the man that she was the one who'd taught Harry how to punch.
"If I'd known why he wanted to know I would've taught him my bat bogey hex."
Harry shivered at the mention of that spell. Despite the lingering tension in the room, he felt strangely buoyant. Just yesterday he'd stood up to a bunch of government officials and somehow managed to get them to listen to him, trust him. He had also found the courage to throw off the blood wards and forsake the Dursleys completely. He'd demanded respect and happiness and he'd won it, at least for now.
It felt almost dreamlike. He really was staying here for the summer. Nothing would keep him from spending this summer as he had the past few weeks. Learning magic from his dad, training with Thor and the others. Movie nights where he could cuddle up with his dad and fall asleep on his shoulder. He could cook meals whenever he wanted and share food with people who genuinely appreciated it. No one was going to make him leave, no one could.
He was hit with the realization as he touched the soft leather he was wearing, that this is how it should have always been. Perhaps not in Avengers tower but this feeling. It should have always been with him. Sirius and Remus should have always been sneaking him gifts his parents wouldn't have wanted him to have. Thor should have always been there finding ways to tempt Harry to spend time in Asgard instead of earth.
It should have always been this way. He should have always had it. He thought back again to the man who had deprived him of this life for so long, who had actively chosen to have him live in misery for the good of the world. Dumbledore was gone but his presence was still felt. In the loyalties of the Order members and in the disgust of the Avengers. Harry didn't know how to feel, not truly, not anymore.
Even with a night of sleep he was still as confused as ever. His conversation with his dad, interrupted as it had been, hadn't helped him any. His dad was so certain, so sure. Revenge and Justice were the same, they were right and it would be his dad's pleasure to administer them. Sirius and Remus were obviously of the same opinion. They had been robbed of over a decade of happiness, just like him, and they knew they should do something about it. Thor was much the same. Wishing to met out revenge in the name of those who had been hurt directly, never once wondering if that was the right thing.
Harry's ears still rung when he remembered Hermione and Ron's rants about what they would do to Dumbledore if given half a chance. Harry also understood now that all of the Avengers hated Dumbledore too. In their eyes nothing justified what he'd done. He suspected that they had guessed a little of what the Dursleys had been like and it disgusted them. They wanted to Avenge. That's what they were there for, to avenge the hurt of the world.
But it still settled oddly in his gut. What was wrong with him? Why did the idea of killing Voldemort or torturing Dumbledore leave him feeling so off? Voldemort was a monster, he needed to be killed, if allowed to live he would just kill more and more innocent people. Harry knew that. He knew. Yet he could still remember the Tom Riddle who'd begged his own headmaster to be allowed to go anywhere else for the summer than his orphanage. It made Harry ache with empathy. Unlike Harry, no one had ever opened their home to Tom and the world was witnessing the consequences.
Tom Riddle wasn't in the right. He was evil. He had chosen that path, a path that Harry had denied. He would not stay in a jail, and Harry knew he wouldn't surrender. But whenever Harry imagined using his sword on the snake faced monster like he had with those Draugr an awful sensation formed in his stomach. Why did the thought of killing someone so awful make him feel guilty? There was nothing wrong with it, at least not in this instance. Why did getting revenge against those who wronged him make his mouth taste like ash?
He wondered who he could talk to. Who could help him with this. It seemed like all of the adults in his life had already come to a different conclusion than him. Besides how could Harry argue with them about their right to get revenge? Dumbledore had hurt them as much as he'd hurt him. Harry was at a loss.
"Harry dear." Mrs. Weasley said. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Harry said giving a small smile to the woman. "It's my party, why wouldn't I be fine?"
"It's just well…" She fretted. "So much has happened recently and I admit that I haven't been here as much for you as I could have been."
"Mrs. Weasley." Harry said firmly. "You gave me my first real Christmas present. You always opened your home to me when you could and you fed me even when you were struggling. You let me be friends with your children even though I tend to run into danger all the time."
"But we…we left you with those muggles." She spat. "I knew you weren't happy there! I knew from the moment my boys rescued you in Arthur's car and I just…I let you go back!"
Harry easily reached out and took the woman's hand making her look at him.
"I forgive you." He said sounding far more confident than he had when he'd told Odin those same words. In truth it was easy to say it to her. He would always love Mrs. Weasley and her husband for being the very first adults to show him what parents could really be like. Even if they'd never really been his parents like he'd dreamt sometimes, they'd still given him warmth and love and comfort without expecting anything in return. "You thought you were doing what was best for me and for your family. It wasn't the right choice but it wasn't done because you were trying to be mean."
"Oh Harry." She said. "I just wanted you to be safe. Dumbledore told me that you'd be safe with the Dursleys even if they didn't make you feel happy. I thought I could make up for it, give you enough love when you were around to help you when you weren't."
"I knew you loved me." Harry said. "I knew you saw me as a seventh son, but that wasn't enough."
Harry bit his lip and looked around at the room of people. He hadn't realized until quite recently how twisted his mind had been, how lost he'd felt.
"The Dursleys made me feel like I didn't matter." Harry told her. "They spent my whole life making me feel that way. I didn't even realize I thought like that, that I believed that until my dad."
"Of course, you matter Harry! Of course, you do!"
"Mrs. Weasley. Every time Dumbledore sent me back to the Dursleys it just convinced me that I didn't. I knew you loved me, but I believed you didn't love me enough, that I didn't deserve anything you gave me." Harry said trying to make her understand. "I thought I deserved it, being there, that that was how it was supposed to be."
The woman's face crumpled, and Harry let her pull him into a hug. She cried into his shoulder, apologies and promises that she loved him and that he mattered, that he'd never deserved any of it. And right then Harry knew that. He might not tomorrow, just like he might try to run away from his friends to protect them. But right now, he knew down to his very core that what she was saying was true. He wanted to hold on that feeling, that knowledge for as long as he could.
"I'm okay now." He told her, hugging her back. "You couldn't teach me that. I had to figure it out myself and I couldn't do that in Surrey. I had to leave England, had to get far enough away that I could think clearly. Do you understand why Ron lied now? He knew I needed to figure this out, he was protecting me like he always does."
"I do." She said. "I am so angry I didn't see the truth sooner, Harry. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. But I know why Ron thought he had to lie to me. I'd sent you back to those muggles before and Ron couldn't trust that I'd see the truth. I've failed you both."
It felt both awful and good to hear all at once. Awful because he hated making anyone feel guilty or bad. Good because he'd secretly always wanted an apology from them. He'd wondered sometimes when Uncle Vernon locked him up for the fifth time that week why Molly and Arthur never did more for him. They claimed to care but they left him there anyway.
"It's okay." Harry said, echoing the same advice he'd given to Odin. "You can do better in the future. Maybe trust Ron a little more? He and I are best mates and he wants to be by my side, help me win this war. I don't want to make him choose between his family and me, Mrs. Weasley. Don't make him choose. Please."
"Oh, my dear boy." She said, lifting up a hand and cupping his cheek tenderly. "How can he make a choice when they're the same? You're his family just as much as I am. You should have your own hand on our family clock at this point, I think. It'd make me worry less. I raised Ron to be loyal to the right thing, I should've predicted he'd be just like my brothers. Keeping him from you, from the fight, won't work. Forgive me for feeling overprotective, I don't want to lose any more family."
Harry didn't know much about Molly's family. He guessed that her brothers had died since Ron had never mentioned any uncles. Probably in the war.
"Ron's been invited to learn defense with me on Asgard." Harry said. "Just once a week for the afternoon, he could learn how to defend himself from the best. It's not the same as wrapping him up in bubble wrap but maybe it would help you feel better? If you knew he really knew what he was doing?"
"Yes." She said after a moment. "I'm not ever going to stop worrying about my baby boy but…but knowing he's learning how to defend himself, it might make me fret just a bit less. I'll need to talk to Arthur about it, you understand."
"Course."
"Thank you, Harry. You make me proud every day, from the moment we met in King's Cross, I've known you were so kind and brave. I love you dear boy."
Harry hugged her again. The woman who was as close to a mother as he could ever remember having. She wasn't perfect, far from it, but she was present and real. Most importantly she was trying. While he knew she was nothing like what his own mum would have been like, it made the hole in his heart ache a little less knowing he'd been found by her. Molly Weasley hugged him tightly and placed a wet kiss on his forehead just like she did with all the rest of her children. Harry faked a noise of complaint, mirroring Ron's own actions.
Harry disentangled himself from the hug and made his way over to Ron and Hermione, a skip still in his step. His friends were sipping on cups of soda and talking amongst themselves. They grinned as he neared them.
"You'll never guess what Remus got me for my first flame." He said.
"What?" Ron asked straightening up immediately.
Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the book. He held it up so that both of his friends could read the title.
"Oh brilliant!"
"You know this is something I've really been meaning to research!"
"He said if we started right away, we could manage it by the end of the summer."
At his friends' excitement Harry found his eyes being drawn over to his dad, who was now talking to Arthur and Tony about enchanting muggle objects. Maybe the party had been a great idea after all.