On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads
Enigmaris
Chapter 32: Happy Birthday Dear Harry
Summary:
A Tradition is shared and a birthday celebrated.
Notes:
Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the brilliant comments! I'm glad you all enjoyed the Quidditch! I skipped over the feast in Asgard but just know everyone ate a lot of food and had fun!
Chapter Text
11:56
Harry sat huddled on the ground, blanket around his shoulders, and knees nearly touching the floor to ceiling window he was sitting in front of. They'd gotten back stupidly late from Asgard, really less than an hour before. The feast had been unexpected and fantastic. He'd always enjoyed celebrating Quidditch wins and that win had really been something. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed the game until he had an opportunity to play it again without Umbridge bothering him.
His body felt pleasantly sore and he was certainly exhausted. His body floated along as he looked out the window and onto the night life of New York City and he knew he should get up and go to his bed. But a tradition was a tradition.
11:57
He was about to turn 16.
He considered what he'd be doing right then if he'd not listened to Ron when he'd suggested that Harry actually go and punch his dad. He would probably be in that tiny room in Privet Drive. He'd be starving certainly, unaware of how much food he needed to consume and his aunt and uncle unwilling to feed him enough for a normal human regardless. Maybe Dumbledore would have picked him up by now, taking him to Grimmauld Place or The Burrow to stay as a 'gift' for behaving himself.
He considered all of the good things that had come into his life. Sirius' rescue. Thor's support. Tyr's teachings. His dad's love. Even the tattoo on his wrist that connected him with Ron and Hermione. He wouldn't have had any of those things, well except for the tattoo, if he'd followed along with Dumbledore's plans. If he hadn't made a choice for himself. His dad would still be alone here in New York, thinking he failed to save him, and Sirius would be alone in that awful fog world.
Harry felt at peace sitting there. Maybe it was the exhaustion. It probably was. But the stress and anger he'd felt before the Quidditch game had faded. His worries over his ability to be the person the world needed him to be had been set aside. Things were good. He'd made the right choice running to New York.
11:58
"Starlight?"
"Hey dad." Harry said, his voice raspy after an hour of silence. His dad wandered into the room. The darkness chased away by a bauble of light he conjured.
"What are you doing up? A nightmare?"
"No. I haven't gone to bed yet."
"Whyever not? You have to be tired after today."
"It's…personal."
"Oh?" His dad sat down next to him, and shifted around so that he was looking at him, elbow planted on a propped up knee and his face resting in the raised hand.
"Normally I'm by myself on my birthday." Harry said. "No one…made a big deal of it when I was growing up and Ron and Hermione could send stuff on my birthday, but I was still alone."
"Are you feeling overwhelmed? I promise you tomorrow is going to be very casual."
"No. I just have a tradition I guess." Harry said. "I wait up till midnight and then…then I sing happy birthday cause then someone did you know?"
His cheeks turned very red at that and he looked immediately out the window to hide his mortification. How sad was it that he'd never had anyone sing him Happy Birthday before, that he always had to do it for himself. Usually locked in a room while feeling a bit too hungry and angry with the world.
"I see." His dad said, his voice subdued. "Would you like me to go then?"
"What? No." Harry said. "You can stay."
11:59
"So, you sing it right at midnight?"
"Yep." Harry said. "Right when the clock strikes 12."
"Just one verse?"
"Any more would be a bit sad don't you think?"
As if this wasn't already sad enough. Harry licked his lips and took in a deep breath.
"Have you ever visited mum?"
"What?"
"Her grave? People bring flowers to graves." Harry said, as if his dad didn't know. "I've never been, I don't even know where it is."
"I've never gone there myself." His dad said. "But I know where it is. I can take you there if you'd like."
"Can we go now?" Harry asked, feeling bold.
"Now?"
"If we go now, we might make it before…"
Never mind that according to time zones midnight had already happened in Britain. That wasn't the point. The point was that Harry wanted to spend his birthday, the part he'd celebrated regularly by himself for most of his life, with his parents. His dad sniffed and then snapped his fingers. Shoes were magicked onto Harry's feet along with a warm jacket. Then his dad pulled him to his side and Harry immediately hugged him. Magic pulled them along and a moment later Harry found himself standing in a graveyard, or right outside the gates of one.
Harry straightened his shoulders and stepped away from his dad. But not so far that he couldn't still hold the man's hand. Carefully they pushed open the gate together. It was early in the morning, a little bit before the sun would rise but Harry pretended that it was dark and murky. They walked through the aisles of grave stones, looking for the right one. They found it soon enough. A large rectangular stone that was so white it glowed in the starlight.
Harry and Loki both paused in front of the grave and read the words written on it.
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
Carefully they sat down together, the blanket that Harry had been wearing as a cape, placed beneath them to protect them from the freezing morning dew.
12:00
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Harry." His dad sang, while holding Harry to his side. He wasn't a bad singer surprisingly, although his voice was thick and clogged. "Happy birthday to you."
"Thanks."
"Don't thank me for that Starlight."
"Not that…I mean coming here." Harry said. "It's hard."
"I shouldn't have waited so long. Your mother is likely very cross with me."
"Is she though?" Harry asked. "Can she…Where is she?"
"I don't know exactly where she is." His dad said after a few moments of contemplation. "No one knows what happens to souls that pass on. All we know is that the soul departs and that its energy goes somewhere. Since souls are so immutable it's easy to guess that wherever they go, they remain the same. Wherever your mother is, whatever the afterlife is, she's still the woman who loved us both so much."
"Oh."
To think that they were sitting what was essentially on top of his mother. That what remained of his mum in this existence was laying cold under the ground. Tears stung his eyes and immediately started running down his cheeks. He missed her so much it ached. He didn't even know why he missed her. He had no memories of her except for the one where she was begging for her life. He didn't know her. And yet the pain lingered and festered.
His breath hitched and his dad pulled him a bit closer. A sob crawled up out of his throat, painful and jagged. He looked at the nearly glowing gravestone and watched as it became blurry through his tears.
"Oh Starlight." His dad said. "Come here. It's alright."
But it wasn't alright. It wasn't. His dad gathered him up, pulling him to his chest so that he could cry without anyone seeing and began to pet his hair in an attempt to soothe him. Harry just cried. He cried like he had after seeing Sirius fall through the veil. Like he had when he'd carried Cedric's body back to Hogwarts. He cried and cried and cried.
12:23
"Feeling better?"
"Not really."
"It's okay to miss her."
"I didn't even get to know her. That's not okay dad. It's not."
"No. I don't suppose it is."
12:31
"Your mother didn't like flowers."
"She didn't?"
"No. Hated them. Came from being named Lily. She received far too many plant based gifts over the years, gave her a complex."
"And who was giving her those gifts?"
"I've no idea what you're implying.
12:37
"What was your wedding like? Was it…nice?"
"Small. Your mother didn't want to trouble anyone with a big party. Besides that we had so few people to invite. Her parents were dead and so were mine. We mostly had the other Marauders and the Order to ask to come and plenty of them were on missions."
"Did you like it?"
"I can't remember ever being happier."
"Really?"
"She looked so terribly radiant in that dress. She outshone every goddess I've ever known and I could feel her love for me. Nothing compared."
12:42
"Of course, your mother didn't approve of my plans."
"It was just a kid's broom."
"That's what I said! I didn't account for your…adventurous spirit or for the welfare of our cat."
"We had a cat?"
"Yes. It's a tradition from Asgard to give a newlywed couple a cat. Normally it would be the job of the in laws to gift it but…well it wasn't hard to find a good cat for our home. A handsome strapping thing it was, more fluff than actual body. It a…it died that night I believe."
"Oh. What was its name?"
"Don't tell your uncle but I named it Thor. It was blonde and far too eager to please."
12:49
"Her favorite food was white chocolate. Couldn't get enough of the stuff. Whenever we fought, I had to get pounds of it just to get her to look at me again."
"Pounds?"
"I'm pretty sure she was just teasing me to see how much chocolate I would actually buy."
"And how much was that?"
"Let's just say I made Honeydukes run out of stock a few times."
12:56
"We lived near here. Our home was just a few streets down, under the fidelus. It was perfect Harry. Your mother and I painted the walls by hand, I even learnt to use a few tools to help repair our furniture."
"Why didn't you just use magic?"
"We both wanted it to be…real and solid. Something held together by our hands and not just our minds. We wanted to put care into it. So that you could feel our love in every wall and dish."
"It sounds nice."
"It was lovely. I think it might be nice to go back, fix it up."
"Really? Won't that hurt?"
"That place was my first true home, I built it with my hands and with Lily by my side. I miss it, I miss sleeping in my room and cooking in my kitchen. I miss dancing in the living room to silly songs. I miss that life." Loki said. "Besides. It's not like I can live with Stark forever, eventually the man is going to pass on of old age and then where will I be?"
"You're going to stay on earth that long? What about Asgard?"
"I'll visit certainly." Loki said. "For Thor at least. But Earth is my home now and no matter what happens I'm not ever leaving it again."
1:10
"I nearly fainted three times when Lily was in labor with you. I did faint when her water broke."
"Dad."
"What? She was giving birth to the first demigod in millennium, forgive me for being stressed!"
"I'm pretty sure mum needed you."
"Nonsense, she had Alice there."
"Alice?"
"Yes. Alice Longbottom, one of her best friends. She was the maid of honor out our wedding."
"You knew Neville's parents?"
"I can't believe they named their child Neville. Have you met them?"
"Once. In St. Mungo's. They've been there since Mum died."
"What happened?"
"Bellatrix got 'em. The Cruciatus. Nev visits them a lot but they…they're not really there."
"I see."
1:38
"Your mother and I first met on the train to Hogwarts you know. She was beautiful even then. Although more in the 'don't mess with me I will kick you in between the legs' sort of way."
"Did she ever stop looking like that?"
"About the time she agreed to start dating me."
"I don't think I've ever looked like that."
"Oh, trust me Starlight. You have."
3:49
"I wish I could talk to her. Ask her things."
"You can ask me things."
"I know but…You keep saying I'm so much like her and I want to know what she would do you know? Because I don't know what I'm doing."
"Your mother wasn't all knowing you know. She was much smarter than me, don't get me wrong, but she wasn't some perfect being. She had flaws and faults. I loved them just as much as I loved everything else about her."
"So, do you think she could have helped me?"
"I can't think a better person for you to follow."
4:21
"My legs are starting to hurt."
"Do you want to head back?"
"Not really. It's…It's nice here. Being near mum."
"Harry, you're always with her. She left her magic with you, to carry with you. You've never been without your mother."
"I guess. But…this is where she is."
"We can visit as often as you'd like. Even during the school year. You say the word and I'll sneak you away to Godric's Hollow."
"But without flowers, right?"
"We'll bring her some chocolate."
4:58
"I love you mum."
"I adore you Lily."
"We'll be back soon. I promise."
5:00
They appeared back in the tower, Harry felt exhausted. His dad half carried him to his bed, and used magic to change Harry into some pajamas. Harry let his dad tuck him in, even going so far as to place a kiss on his forehead. He was too tired to scrunch his face up in disgust.
"Thanks for taking me, dad."
"Of course, Starlight."
"I love you."
"I love you too." Another kiss on his head. "Now get some sleep. I'll wake you for a late breakfast."
Harry snuggled into his bed and let his exhaustion finally pull him under. He dreamt of laughter, laughter that was so different from the screams the dementors let him hear and yet he knew to be from the same source. He dreamt of two people dancing in a sunlit kitchen and he dreamt of a yellow cat with a tail perfect for tugging on.
10:00
"WAKE UP PUP!"
"Wha-"
Harry opened his eyes to see that Sirius was literally bouncing on his bed. Harry groaned and flipped around so that he could hide his face in his pillow. Sirius clearly didn't like being ignored because Harry heard him promise Harry that he'd regret it. The next thing he knew there were four paws pressing down on his back and legs while a dog howled like his life depended on it. Harry growled and flipped around, using his godly strength he picked up the dog and tossed it.
Sirius transformed back into a human and landed on his feet.
"Come on, get out of bed! You can't sleep the whole day away."
"Just watch me." Harry fell back into his bed, intent on falling back asleep. Or at least pretending too.
"Oh no you don't. Levicorpus."
Harry yelped as magic took him off the bed, his blanket falling off of him and landing half on the bed and half on the floor.
"Put me down!"
"Never!"
Sirius laughed as he dragged Harry through the air, out of his bedroom, up the stairs, and towards the penthouse. Harry tried to break free of the spell, but as he was half asleep and annoyed, he didn't have much success. When they got to the penthouse it was to the Avengers, the Grangers, and his dad all lounging around. Remus was also there, but he was sipping tea and chatting with Bruce while pretending that he couldn't see Harry's dilemma.
"The birthday boy is here!"
"I hate you."
"I love you too pup!"
With that Sirius placed a wet kiss on his cheek, complete with smacking sound and deposited him on a chair, right next to Hermione. Harry grumbled under his breath, but his dad just slid a plate full of food towards him and Harry's anger was appeased in the face of french toast.
"Good morning." Tony said. "We were just talking about your quidditch game yesterday. We were sad to miss it."
"Not like it was planned or anything." Harry said by way of an apology. "When I have my next game, you all can come."
"You should have seen it though." Thor crooned. "His flying was amazing! The way he dodged those bludgers!"
"Thor. Trust me." Remus said. "I've seen plenty of Harry's games. Nothing he did in Asgard can top what he did in his third year."
"He literally jumped off his broom and plummeted to the ground to catch the snitch."
"Harry once, mid game, cast a patronous one of the most difficult spells a wizard can cast, at a dementor that had wandered onto the field and then he caught the snitch." It had actually been Malfoy under a cloak, but Harry didn't feel like correcting Remus.
"Dementors?" His dad demanded.
"My fault!" Sirius sang. "I'd just escaped Azkaban and everyone thought I was going to break into Hogwarts and slit Harry's throat while he slept. They sent the dementors to guard the school."
"It was awful." Harry said. "Hated those things. Had Remus teach me the patronous just so I could make them go away."
"What are dementors?" Steve asked, intrigued.
"Dark magical creatures. You can't see 'em if you don't have magic yourself." Sirius said. "But they feed off of human misery. Their mere presence forces anyone in the vicinity to relive their worst memories in hyper detail. If you're further away you'll just feel cold and dreadful. Too close and they'll give you the kiss."
"The kiss." Hermione piped up before anyone could ask. "Is when the dementor literally eats your soul and leaves you a mindless husk."
"And they sent those things to guard a school?" Clint demanded.
"Minister Fudge's idea." Harry told them. "Wanted to be seen as 'doing something' about Sirius."
"I can't count the number of students I had to give chocolate to over the year." Remus said. "Chocolate gives people a bit of immunity from a dementor's influence. I carried about a thousand bars in my robes just to give out to the kids who were especially weak to it."
"Did it even work? Keep the kids safe from the terrifying Sirius Black?" Natasha asked, wryly looking at Sirius.
"Hell no. I'd been dealing with those bitches for over a decade." Sirius said, puffing out his chest in pride. "I just stayed in my dog form mostly and they left me alone."
"It's how he got around the castle. Gave all of us about ten heart attacks." Hermione finished.
"Are we going to keep talking about this?" Harry asked, looking up from his half-eaten plate.
"Are you alright?" Thor asked.
"Just thinking." Harry admitted. "About all the kids that got hurt from that. I mean it was bad for me. The dementors made me faint, cause of the scar and all."
"Your scar hurt around dementors? Why would it do that?" His dad asked.
"No idea, just hurts."
"Hmm."
"You're concerned about the other kids?" Remus asked. "Don't worry, influence from a dementor fades after a few months. All of the kids should have recovered completely over the summer."
"Right well." Harry said. "That's good."
He continued to think though, even as the conversation flowed onward. Last night he'd considered his choice at the beginning of the summer. A choice that Dumbledore hadn't wanted him to make, a choice Dumbledore had done everything in his power to hide. But it hadn't mattered, Harry had broken free.
Harry had found a third choice.
The Americans had found a third choice in him too. They wanted to fight Voldemort but they didn't want to play Dumbledore's games. The Avengers had found a third option. Not Voldemort, Not Dumbledore. Harry. Harry was the third option in this war. People who wanted what was right and didn't want to submit to Dumbledore's manipulations.
But there were plenty of people who couldn't make that choice because they didn't know that Harry was no longer Dumbledore's lacky.
"Is it time for gifts?" His dad asked. "All this heavy talk has distracted us from why we're all here. It's my son's birthday."
Harry filed away his thoughts for later. He needed to talk to Ron and Hermione about it before he even attempted to come up with a plan. But he had a good feeling that his friends would be all over it.
"Gifts!" Thor shouted. "Let's get out the gifts!"
Harry pushed away his now empty plate and watched as everyone in the room pulled out wrapped gifts from behind their backs or beneath their chairs. Harry looked over at his dad and gave him a smile.
Happy Birthday to him.