Seasoned Hyuga jounin weren't normally assigned jobs like trailing Hinata Hyuga with a wheelchair. Ko Hyuga couldn't deny that the tedium grated on him as he followed Hinata's wobbling steps around the compound. Regular activity was essential to regaining control over her motor functions, the med-nin said upon Hinata's discharge from the hidden leaf hospital. Ko reminded himself of the doctor's prescription whenever his patience threatened to snap. Still, only Hinata's soft smiles and whispered thank yous stopped his descent into insanity. Hiashi could have appointed a regular servant to the task – but the clan head required more than an assistant for his temporarily disabled daughter.
In hushed words spoken late at night, Hiashi had commanded Ko to guard Hinata from Neji, to shield her with his life if needed. Ko had bowed and nodded – yes, Lord Hiashi. Your word is my command. It wasn't his place to question why Neji Hyuga still remained in the compound, eating his uncle's food and breathing alongside every loyal Hyuga. Ko speculated that Hiashi spared Neji out of misguided obligation to Hizashi's memory, or fear of retribution from Hizashi's ghost. Yet reverence for his dead brother did his living daughter a grave disservice.
Protecting Hinata was Ko Hyuga's sworn duty, one he accepted with utmost pride and seriousness. Every time he tired of training and his chakra control flickered, Ko galvanized himself to do one more set of drills, to complete one more spar for her. The world had too few things as sweet and precious as Hinata.
Per Hiashi's orders, Ko's sharp white eyes watched with extra scrutiny when Hinata passed Neji in one of the Hyuga compound's courtyards or buildings. He fixated on Neji's hardened features and quick hands, his Byakugan one step from activating in case Neji struck – again. To Hiashi, and Ko, the clan's young prodigy was an unpredictable timebomb wound up and ready to explode.
When their paths crossed, Neji paced with his eyes downcast. His hands were fisted or shoved in his pockets, but nevertheless capable of landing a killing blow on Hinata in a fraction of a second. Ko's withering glare seemed to detract Neji from attempting to finish what he began in the arena. And perhaps Neji had learned some restraint. Harming a fellow leaf ninja outside the arena would disqualify him from making chunin.
Though the chunin exam finals approached, no Hyugas lent him training support. It was only right, Ko thought. A just penalty for a boy who twisted the chunin exam rules to almost commit murder. Instead, Neji trained with his kunoichi teammate every day until orange streaks ran across the sky. The clan rejected Neji, and Neji rejected the clan right back. The day of the chunin exam finals arrived without the typical buzz of excitement around a fellow Hyuga's appearance in the arena. From his position high in the arena seats, Ko watched Neji's almost feral rage channeled in his battle against Naruto Uzumaki. His heart dripped with dread as Neji exposed his seal – an act of defiance that struck fear within him.
Once Hinata could walk without crutches, Ko watched her from the compound's shadowy corridors and the leafy corners of its courtyards. Unspoken tension continued to bind Ko, Neji and Hinata even amid the turmoil that racked the village after the chunin exams. While he traveled to faraway lands on missions, Ko couldn't help seeing Hinata reflected in doe-eyed little girls selling flowers or cleaning the streets. He saw a trace of Neji in every sharp eyed young man with a glare that spoke of ill-intentions and dangerous thoughts.
With time and Hiashi Hyuga's favor, most Hyugas no longer stiffened their spines when Neji passed. Some ambitious parents even spoke with the clan head about marrying their daughters to him once he reached legal age. Their naked politicking disgusted Ko, who nursed the memory of Neji's almost murder with renewed zeal. If he remembered, if he cared, at least Neji wouldn't escape accountability entirely.
Neji returned to regular duty despite his unhinged display during the exams, his talents too useful for the village to waste. A few months after the exams, Neji Hyuga returned from the failed mission to retrieve Sasuke Uchiha with two massive holes through his chest. Blood loss colored his already pale body a sickly shade of fish belly white. Ko heard whispers about Neji's low odds of survival, how Orochimaru's underling left him clinging to life. Only spite and sheer will kept Neji alive, according to one of his nurses. An angry, smoldering part of Ko prayed for Neji to succumb, even if he would never kill a fellow Hyuga. He was loyal to his clan, however tarnished that loyalty was in the wake of Hinata's disinheritance and Neji's welcome back.
As Neji lay half-alive and half-dead, Hinata begged Ko to escort her to the hospital so she could pay her cousin a visit. Her father wouldn't allow her to go otherwise. The pleading in her shrill voice compelled Ko to say yes. Allowing her to see a dying Neji wouldn't do her any harm. Plus, Hinata had his protection.
The nurses overseeing Neji's care immediately ushered the two Hyugas to his patient room, turning their backs to afford them privacy. They were family, after all – not that Ko considered Neji family in any real sense. Connected to a cluster of monitors and dripping bags, Neji stirred from a light afternoon nap as Ko and Hinata entered. His eyes remained closed, his limbs splayed across crisp white sheets.
Ko settled in the stiff-backed plastic chair next to Neji's bed, leaned ever so slightly forward so he could spring to Hinata's defense. On the nightstand beside him, a vase full of daffodils sat alongside a forest of propped greeting cards, each addressed to Neji the "hero." Her sandals tapping on polished linoleum, Hinata paced circles around Neji's bed. Eventually, she found the confidence to inch up to the railing next to Neji's heartrate monitor, peering at his impassive face. Her slender fingers brushed the long black hair that streamed out on either side of his head. Neji's brows scrunched before falling limp again.
"Will he be okay?" Hinata whispered. "He looks like he's still really hurt."
Hinata's concern for her cousin still confounded Ko. No reasonable person would hold so much compassion for their attempted murderer. He released a long breath and walked around the end of Neji's bed to stand by her side. Someone as kind as Hinata needed leveler heads to safeguard her, to make the calls she couldn't continence.
"He has Lady Tsunade taking personal care of him," Ko began, hands on her shoulders. "I'm sure our village's top healer will try her very best."
Tsunade's highly experimental treatment offered Neji a 50% probability of long term survival, according to the best projections. A lump rose in Ko's throat when he considered whether to temper Hinata's hopes, to prime her for Neji's likely death. He kept his lips pressed knowing her fragile constitution wouldn't endure much more grief. Hinata leaned back into Ko while he combed his hands through her clipped black hair. Crouching to kiss the top of her head, he hummed a soft lullaby – one that comforted her as a toddler.
Ko stiffened when Neji's eyelids fluttered open, blank eyes searching the white sterile room. Then to Ko's astonishment, Neji extended a hand in Hinata's direction.
"Stay back, Lady Hinata!" Ko hissed, casting Hinata behind him.
"No, big brother Ko, he's not going to hurt me!"
He ignored her loud protests. Gods, acquiescing to Hinata's request had been a reckless mistake.
Still silent, Neji raised both brows and pinched the corners of his lips in a faint smirk. That smug bastard, Ko thought. Ko's Byakugan activated – to Neji's further amusement – and he stood with his knees bent, hands bladed before his chest. A small fist tugged at the sash of Ko's yukata with enough force to jolt him back by an inch before he regained his balance.
"Big brother Neji is awake! Let me see him."
"Hm. I suppose if my Lady Hinata wants to see me, you're honor bound to obey her," Neji whispered in a rasp. "Don't worry. I'm unable to even lift my head at the moment."
When Ko met his eyes, Neji huffed. The pale blue rings under Neji's eyes betrayed his weakness, as did the way he groaned when Hinata jostled the bed. Neji's mind remained sharp as ever despite his incapacitation. Ko was Hinata's guardian and her servant, making him subordinate to her.
"Ko, I have a proposal. Why don't you stand right over here, so if I even attempt to strike Lady Hinata, you can stop my heart with a single hit of your gentle fist?"
"I –" Blood drained from Ko's face, his heart racing as he contemplated his current bind.
Regardless of Ko's feelings, Neji was a Hyuga in good standing. Killing him would bring a cascade of inquiries and recriminations, unwelcome consequences for Ko. Neji gave Ko the illusion of control while confident in his immunity from any serious harm.
"If you need to do your duty, I'm certain Lady Hinata herself would support you," Neji pressed. "And we both know her word is worth three times either of ours."
Bowing his head, Ko stood beside Neji's head, his Byakugan ready to activate. With a nod from both Ko and Neji, Hinata gave a tiny smile before shuffling to Neji's bedside. Her folded arms perched on the railing of his hospital bed, her head tilted in a question mark.
"How are you feeling, big brother?" Hinata asked. "I've missed you back home."
"I'm still rather tired. The med-nin have given me sedatives to keep me from moving too much, supposedly so my body heals faster."
"Yes, you need all the rest you can get."
Their stilted conversation ended then. Hinata clasped her hands before her heart and tapped her fingers together, a familiar nervous tic. Neji pursed his lips in apparent disappointment – and remorse, perhaps? Ko hadn't seen such vulnerability in the clan's boy genius before.
"Big brother Neji, I'm s-so sorry I didn't remember a card for you," Hinata muttered, her voice almost indistinguishable from just another breath.
"I never asked for any of this," Neji answered, tipping his chin toward the nightstand full of cards. "Besides, I can do nothing here other than rest, and you at least help relieve my boredom."
Did Neji really mean to offer her reassurance? Ko set his hands down with a sigh. Maintaining his Byakugan at the ready now seemed rather silly. He returned to his seat and watched the cousins' conversation with careful eyes. Not out of worry for Hinata, but because his curiosity demanded.
"Oh. That's...t-that's good to hear, big brother. I'm happy I can give you comfort."
Hinata's fingertips brushed Neji's free hand, the one not stuck with tubes and needles. Ko's breath shallowed, as if daring to breathe too hard would disrupt the fragile balance in the room. His voice grave, Neji smiled and thanked Hinata for her kindness. An apology seemed to sit on the tip of Neji's tongue, though his pride and repression kept him from saying sorry.
"Your father told me about my father. The truth of what happened so many years ago."
"Y-yes?"
"His death still follows me," Neji sighed, almost speaking to himself.
"Oh, I'm so sorry big brother!"
Her role in Hizashi's death – however unintentional and indirect – burdened Hinata with misplaced guilt. Ko parted his lips to warn Hinata of Neji's inevitable lies. Of course that bastard has no notion of regret, Ko fumed, ashamed of his undue optimism. The clan's hierarchy had shown its strength during the crisis following Hinata's near-abduction. A lesser clan – one without the benefit of main and branch clans – would have disintegrated into in-fighting when asked deliver its clan head.
"Your father told me how I'd been mistaken for so long. My father was not killed by the main clan. He died willingly for the brother and village he loved. I was entirely misguided when I made my attempt on your life, Lady Hinata."
At the sound of the word misguided, Ko choked on a gulp of air.
The weight of his guilty conscience weakened Neji's voice, not just his injuries and various medications. So he'd intended to apologize – to the extent that calling himself "misguided" was an apology of any kind.
"Oh," Hinata stammered. "I-I am all better now, big brother Neji. D-don't worry yourself with such things."
A cough racked Neji's frail frame, or maybe a laugh. Hinata whimpered and rushed to hand her cousin a tissue. The tissue hung between two of Neji's fingers and he dabbed it to the corners of his eyes.
"I hope I'll recover in due time. Death...is not something I'd welcome at such a young age, though I may deserve it. But if my life ends soon...I thank you for the opportunity to put myself at peace."
"No! No, you're not going to die. Please, please, please –"
Hinata screamed from the base of her throat, a cutting, bone-shattering sound. She lunged to embrace Neji before Ko pinned her arms behind her back, urging her to calm down.
"Lady Hinata, Neji's life is entirely out of your hands," Ko declared, his tone inviting no argument. "You must give him time to rest and recover. Raising your voice like that will only stress him out."
Eyes closed, Neji released a long breath. Hinata's panic and Ko's practiced nonchalance appeared to give him some perverse form of entertainment. Bastard. Lady Hinata owes you less than nothing, yet she was kind enough to come see you. How dare you scorn her, Ko wanted to say. Hinata's presence restrained him from venting his indignation.
Once Hinata stopped resisting Ko and her muscles fell limp, an uneasy calm settled over the room. Neji leaned back against the pillows and asked for the time. Three o'clock in the afternoon, Ko recited, according to the clock above the room's entrance. The bitter clip of Ko's voice elicited a flinch from Neji, to Ko's satisfaction.
"Just in time for the nurses to come around for their quarterly checks," Neji hummed. "Your visit was...pleasant, Lady Hinata. I wouldn't be opposed if you were to come again."
"Big brother, get well soon! I'll be back with some nice sweet things next time."
"No need, my lady. And Ko – thank you for coming as well."
The last expression of gratitude burrowed under Ko's skin and lingered there, heavy and uncomfortable.
A fleeting expression of remorse couldn't buy Ko's approval.
However, it appeared more than enough for Hinata. With Ko in tow, she returned to visit Neji a week later, once his odds of survival exceeded 90%. Refusing any help from the servants, Hinata baked a tray of sweet rice cakes with dates and walnuts for Neji. The hospital's food was dull on the senses – engineered more toward nutrition and mass production than taste. And according to Neji's childhood nurse, her cousin never failed to smile at those sticky sweet treats.
When Hinata offered him a rice cake in her extended palm, Neji recoiled and bowed his face into his hands. Ko inspected Neji with his Byakugan and found his chakra network buzzing with the particular rhythms associated with strong emotion. Tensing with unease, Ko retreated to the corner of the patient room, his gaze still on Neji and Hinata. Neji's sobs – loud, wet and shaky – echoed throughout the small room.
"Big brother! Oh, what did I do? Are you okay?" Hinata cried out. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me."
Her quivering hands twisted before her face. Gradually, Neji's sobs lessened and dissipated like rain at the end of a storm.
"Hinata, it's nothing like that," he muttered. "I was just overcome because...nobody has made them for me since before my time at the academy. Only Suki would know –"
"I asked her. She doesn't work for the clan anymore, but I found her and said I wanted to make something special for you."
The upward lilt in Hinata's voice conveyed her excitement, her eagerness to please her ailing cousin. Neji seemed to recognize how every part of her burned to see him happy. So he wrangled his lips into a smile for her sake. From his corner, Ko rolled his shoulders and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes.
"I don't deserve this."
"Nonsense. You're hurt and I wanted to make you feel better."
Hinata offered the rice cake again, and this time, Neji's wet hand accepted her gift. He took a nibble of sweet rice dough, before sighing once the rush of starch and sugar hit his tongue.
"This is wonderful, Lady Hinata. You truly have a gift for cooking."
The rest of the square disappeared in two massive bites, and then a grinning Hinata presented him another.
"Thank you, big brother Neji."
She bowed low and deep before him, to Neji's shock and Ko's. The gesture undermined the order inculcated into Ko from birth, sending a shiver to his core. Neji was supposed to protect Hinata and serve her. Yet Ko hadn't ever seen Neji bow before her in abject submission.
"Lady Hinata, I believe it's improper for you to bow before a member of the branch clan," Ko cut in. "Your father would be disappointed –"
"Lord Hiashi bowed before me following my defeat in the chunin exam finals. This was after he explained my father's sacrifice."
"Oh."
Ko could muster no other reaction. Drained of strength, his hands fell at his sides. Unaffected by the brief flash of tension between Ko and Neji, Hinata eagerly fed her cousin another rice cake. The normally stern boy resembled a hamster with his cheeks stuffed full of sticky rice dough on either side. Ko raised a finger and parted his lips to tell the young cousins that straying too much from Neji's doctor-prescribed diet might hinder his recovery. But the sight of Neji happy and carefree for a change neutralized his concerns. Ko wondered how many others had heard the low hum of pleasure emanating from Neji's direction.
"I haven't eaten anything so good in years," Neji said, breaking his mask of sneering indifference. "My lady, I'm indebted to you."
How unhappy Neji's life must have been. How else could some simple rice cakes – made using a recipe so easy even a 13-year-old girl could follow it – yield such heights of joy? Neji Hyuga had lost his father at the age of 4 years old. Less than a year later, his mother passed of illness, though rumors alleged that a broken heart claimed her life. A servant nurse raised him in the compound's outbuildings until he reached academy age. After Neji started at the academy, Hiashi Hyuga dismissed her. The clan head had reasoned that it wasn't proper for a Hyuga to bond so closely with an outsider.
Without her, Neji drifted through the compound in solitude, with obligatory training sessions alongside other Hyuga children and daily deliveries of food. Nobody embraced Neji, smiled at him or gave him any positive acknowledgment other than calling him a genius. That was the one form of validation he clung to, his only evidence of worth.
"It's nothing at all."
A red tinge spread across Hinata's cheeks. She smiled, looking down at her hands, flustered that someone lapped up her attention and screamed for more. Naruto Uzumaki, the object of her infatuation, barely noticed her existence. Her unrequited love seemed to have accustomed her to seeing her affections unnoticed and fallen by the wayside.
"Lady Hinata, it's everything," Neji countered. "I love this, so much."
Even beside the table full of gifts and cards, Neji fixated on Hinata and her tray of rice cakes. The corners of Hinata's lips pinched into a tentative smile before she covered her face with both hands. Ko folded her into the chest pocket of his shinobi vest, as he did when she found herself overwhelmed and self-conscious. Running his hands down her back, her slender shoulders shook beneath his touch. Eyes downcast, Neji appeared apologetic for Hinata's flustered, anxious state.
"Not to worry, Neji," Ko found himself saying. "Lady Hinata is merely shy, and she doesn't quite know how to react to praise like that. Isn't that right, my lady?"
"Y-yes. I suppose so," she muttered, burrowing her face deeper into him. "I'm not used to it, big brother."
Nodding, Neji grasped Ko's point without more elaboration. He, too, understood Hiashi's stinginess with kind words toward his children. He observed how easily Hinata faded into the background around children their age. Ko and Neji locked gazes for a moment, and Neji's white eyes reminded Ko that they shared the same eyes and the same duty. Before they left Neji's patient room, Ko coaxed the tray of rice cakes from Hinata's fingers and set them on Neji's nightstand. Denying Neji that little kindness would have been unnecessarily cruel, even for an attempted murderer.
The Hyuga compound's training grounds were often deserted by mid-afternoon, when the sun peaked in the sky. Yet on one of the hottest days of summer, Ko happened on Neji Hyuga striking a wooden post with an intensity of focus he rarely saw even in other jounin. Neji's sandals dug into the glistening white sand around the post, his heel driving puffs of sand into the air. Next to the circle of raked sand, Hinata sat on a stone bench with her legs pulled to her chest, chin perched between her knees. Ko tucked himself behind one of the wooden beams supporting the compound's awning, and fixed his white eyes on the cousins. Though Neji no longer aroused Ko's reflexive suspicion, Ko's duty to Hinata sat close to his heart. Hiashi made certain of it, as did every gaze into Hinata's guileless white eyes.
Hinata watched Neji with the same awe she once directed to Naruto Uzumaki – as if the subject of her gaze were perfect, invincible, capable of anything. Neji appeared oblivious to her presence while sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped down the sides of his pale face. His throaty groans echoed across the small courtyard that housed the training grounds. Neji lodged one hit after another on the unyielding wood, his impacts turning progressively softer and farther between. Intelligent and gifted as he was, Neji clearly still needed to learn the limitations of his body. Finally, his hands fell limp at his sides and he leaned against the post, eyes squeezed shut from exhaustion.
"Do you need some water, big brother Neji?" Hinata ventured. A metal canteen emerged from her jacket pocket. "You've been working hard for the past hour."
Wiping his hands on his black shorts, Neji stepped from the training post, stirring hot sand behind him. He nodded and swiped a band of sweat from below his hairline, thanking Hinata for her consideration. The cousins sat side by side on the stone bench while Neji tipped the canteen upright. Water rushed down his throat until Ko heard the clatter of water on hollow metal. Then Neji slammed the empty canteen in the space between them.
Hinata stowed the canteen back in her pocket before folding her hands in her lap, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"Happy to help. You need to take care of yourself."
"You didn't have to, Lady Hinata," Neji sighed. "I really don't know why you see the need to be so kind."
Ko agreed – the clan head's daughter had no business waiting on a branch Hyuga. Despite his initial reservations, he had excused Hinata's hospital treat delivery as compassion for the sick. Her current attentiveness was much harder to explain as anything but budding infatuation. This wasn't Ko's first time catching Hinata delivering water, lunch and even extra sunscreen to Neji since he resumed regular shinobi training. Neji's emotional reaction to her hospital visits must have shown Hinata the futility of her childhood crush, how she wasted her love on someone who never wanted it. What scared Ko was that perhaps Neji would reciprocate in spite of the divides between them.
"You always forget water while you're training. I didn't want you to be dehydrated. It's quite a hot day outside."
Ever prideful and stubborn, Neji insisted that he knew when to stop, when to break for a quick drink. Even without observing the circulation of Neji's chakra, Ko could hear the lie in the defensive lilt of his voice. Without Hinata present, Neji would have trained until dehydration seized his muscles and forced him into painful early retirement.
"You always think of me. More than anyone else," he muttered, brows scrunched while he scanned Hinata's face.
Neji's observation doubled as a question – why do you always think of me? Why do you care so much?
Beneath Neji's scrutiny, Hinata's lips popped open and her eyes widened. Conflicting impulses tore at her – she wanted to draw closer to Neji, but familiar anxiety told her to sprint far away. He'd ensnared her by outright stating what she'd done without words for the past months. And Hinata didn't have a ready answer to his questions, not one she could articulate in words. The cousins kept eye contact until Hinata jerked her gaze to the ground and shook her head.
"Why wouldn't I? I'm your cousin, and I want to be nice to you. You haven't had an easy life."
Neji's lip curled in wry amusement.
"Lady Hinata, I don't want you to get in trouble," Neji said. "As a member of the main clan, you shouldn't be treating me this way."
His voice conveyed his longstanding resentment toward Hyuga tradition, now subdued. Concern for Hinata seemed to override his grievances. The recognition of their shared interest struck Ko with a numbing blow to his chest. Listen to him, Hinata, Ko urged from the shadows. There was something pitiful in Neji's pleas, in a young boy relinquishing his longing for his cousin's companionship for her sake.
"I-I don't care. There's nothing wrong with being nice to you."
Neji tapped Hinata's shoulder and prompted her to look at him again, to see the grimace pinching either corner of his lips. Though only a year separated them in age, he easily assumed the role of Hinata's protector – her big brother.
"Your father won't be pleased, my lady."
Neji's words – spoken in low, gravelly tones – hung heavy in the air. Neji had no need to state the consequences of Hiashi Hyuga's displeasure to his daughter who knew them well. Hinata's fingers writhed, her breaths turning ragged.
"I want to be with you," Hinata declared, summoning rare courage. "I want to feel close to you. I-I don't think of us as main and branch clan, you know. I wish we didn't have to be so different."
"L-lady Hinata –"
In Neji's stunned expression, Ko saw his resolve collapsing, broken by his longing for Hinata's friendship – and perhaps her love, too. His darting eyes appeared distrustful, as if he questioned her sincerity after having his place pounded into him for so long.
"Please, big brother. Only call me Hinata."
Ko drew a quick gasp – not only did Hinata wait on Neji, she wanted him to address her as an equal. Hinata clasped her hands and stiffened her spine to brace herself for rejection. Her top lip quivered in spite of her impassive mask. Neji sighed, a low rattling sound. He made a mental note to speak with Hinata later. While Ko didn't fault her charity and compassion for Neji, she needed to learn her place. As her protector, Ko couldn't allow her to disgrace herself.
"Very well, Hinata. I use the honorific out of respect, but suppose I am honor-bound to obey you. So I shall. Quite a messy problem, if you ask me."
Hinata grinned, sliding closer along the bench so that she sat less than an inch from Neji. That close to him, Ko imagined she could feel his breaths, feel the heat radiating from his body.
The cousins shared a laugh. Unlike before, Hinata didn't cover her mouthful of exposed teeth with her fingertips. She reared her head back and giggled. Neji's soft, mellow chuckles joined every few seconds. The mingling laughter aroused the attention of an older Hyuga woman who stepped into the courtyard to investigate. The woman tsked and stepped back indoors. Maybe she was on her way to report the cousin's thoroughly improper behavior to Hiashi.
"Thank you. I like you a lot...and you make me feel safe and happy."
"Oh."
The normally stern, confident Neji turned into a stammering child who unwound the bandages around his arm, only to rewind them. A pink flush spread across Hinata's cheeks while she blinked in rapid beats.
"B-big brother Neji, did I say something bad?" Hinata's shrill whimper chilled Ko's bones. "I-I'm so sorry! I promise not to do it again!"
She rose from the bench and shuffled toward her wing of the compound – on the opposite side of Neji's bedroom. His lips popping open, Neji reached for Hinata, wordlessly urging her to come back
"Hinata –!"
His shout stalled Hinata mid-step, and she pivoted back toward him.
"You did nothing wrong, I promise. All the things...I was only surprised because nobody has wanted to be so close to me. I didn't know what to say, but – thank you, Hinata."
Neji crossed the distance between then in a few swift strides and planted both hands on her shoulders. Ko activated his Byakugan by instinct, lowering himself into a crouch so he could spring from his hiding place. Still, he wouldn't be fast enough if Neji chose to land a killing blow to Hinata's heart. And Hinata appeared in no position to retaliate. Ko tracked every twitch in Neji and Hinata's faces. Part of him wanted to scream at Hinata to run, but the words died on Ko's paralyzed tongue.
Neji smiled when Hinata stared back with trepidation. He wrapped one hand around the curve of her jaw and lifted her face so their eyes met. Through his Byakugan, Ko saw no malevolence in the circulation of Neji's chakra, only caring affection.
"I mean it," he said, almost commanding her to believe.
Swallowing, Hinata nodded once. Almost involuntarily, Neji's thumb brushed her cheek and Hinata appeared to lean into his touch.
"Big brother...can we be like this more often? I like being with you. Just you, and there's nobody to tell us what to do."
Hinata now stared Neji fully in the eyes, as she so rarely did with anyone other than Ko.
"Y-Yes, if you wish."
Neji pulled his cousin closer until her head laid on his shoulder, and he wrapped both arms around her. After a moment of hesitation, Hinata embraced Neji in return and hummed in contentment. The corners of Ko's lips tugged into a reluctant smile. Hinata's happiness brought him happiness by proxy, even if the complications of clan politics threatened to sour her happiness.
Ko almost dreaded wrenching them apart – but it was all for Hinata's protection.
Ko and Hinata sat before the Hyuga compound's koi pond, watching the paths of colorful fish streaming through the green water. She seemed to know he had something in mind, because she only agreed to join him after hesitating. Hinata had her knees pulled to her chest while Ko attempted to break through her walls, unsuccessfully. None of his usual promptings to conversation elicited more than a yes or no, or a few clipped words if the question demanded it.
His stomach roiling, Ko decided to cut through the niceties and address his worries directly.
"Lady Hinata," Ko ventured, a gentle smile on his face. "I want to talk about your cousin, Neji."
"Yes? What about big brother Neji?"
"Do you consider him your friend?"
Hinata appeared to suspect that Ko knew more than what his simple question let on.
"He's kind to me, and he's offered to teach me to become stronger," she muttered. "I suppose that makes him a friend to me."
So she reciprocated his selective silence with careful omissions of her own. Friend was perhaps understating the extent of her attachment. Ko could see the invisible ties between them turning to solid threads that bound her to another doomed love.
Ko cleared his throat. When he squared his shoulders and straightened his spine, Hinata drew a little gasp and held her breath. Ko didn't often assert himself in the firm, uncompromising manner of Hiashi Hyuga. And when he did, she listened. The corners of her mouth twitched, and the tip of her pink tongue brushed over her lower lip.
"Now, you must be careful not to forget your place above Neji. He may be kind, but there will be consequences for you if you do not remember who you are. And who he is."
"F-father hasn't said he objects," Hinata stammered.
"You must not take that to mean he approves."
Ko left unmentioned that Hiashi paid too little attention to his daughter to notice her growing affection for his nephew. Yet once he became aware of Hinata's blossoming infatuation with a member of the branch clan, he would react with his usual heavy hand. Unlike Ko, Hiashi treated disobedience without mercy. Hinata could even receive the seal if her father found her showing Neji too much physical affection.
Ko's pointed response left Hinata silent. She no doubt knew he was correct. She drew her knees to her chest and chewed on the tips of her short hair, a pose unfitting for a proper Hyuga lady. Ko didn't have the heart to correct her posture or tell her to cut the bad habit, as he normally would.
"I can't help the way big brother Neji makes me feel."
The defeat in Hinata's voice tugged at Ko's aching heart. He understood her sentiments perfectly, with the visceral empathy that came only from shared experience. Ko wasn't a normal man – something he'd known upon feeling his first stirrings of attraction to another boy. His unfortunate affliction tormented him even after he attained jounin, after he was long supposed to have renounced inconvenient desires. Scalding baths and ice showers alike failed to cleanse him. Eventually, he settled for distraction as the best means of mitigation. Staying busy with missions, training and clan service left Ko minimal time to dwell on love or lust.
If any object of his fleeting infatuations discovered his inclinations, Ko would suffer the worst humiliation possible. The Hyuga clan tacitly tolerated his abnormalities so long as he never acted on them, and remained of service to the clan in ways other than producing heirs. In the absence of a partner, he'd directed his pent-up love toward Hinata. Because he lived within the constraints placed on him, he had a secure, comfortable life as a respected jounin and Hyuga. If anyone could instruct Hinata on the importance of temperance, it was Ko.
"I understand how you feel, Hinata," Ko sighed. I've felt the same way. No, he couldn't reveal his secret – known only to him, his parents and Hiashi Hyuga.
"Then you have to see. I love him."
Hinata's shrill plea sent needles slicing through Ko's skin. To Ko's surprise, she shrugged off his arm when he attempted to console her. Something about Neji galvanized her to demand more from life. Perhaps it was the thrill of hearing that Neji returned her emotions, even if he stopped short of using the word love.
"Part of growing up means learning that what we want isn't always proper."
Blocking her ears with her hands, Hinata bowed her head, muttering no, no, no, no.
"I know this is painful for you, my lady, but I'm only thinking of your greatest good. Neji will find a proper wife one day. You'll be married to a man of your station –"
"Why? That's not fair."
"You must not think of things on those terms. Think instead of how close relations between the main and branch clans is forbidden. You can't control how your father enforces those rules and neither can I."
Hinata would one day learn – as he had – that fair and unfair were of little consequence in their world. Loyalty to clan and village sat paramount in the lives of every Hyuga. Though the tenure of each hokage passed and wars were fought between great nations, the Hyuga clan's traditions had endured over hundreds of years. The clan offered its members prosperous lives and privileges denied to those without noble bloodlines. That was enough for Ko to swear his lifelong fealty to the clan. Really, what other choice did life offer him?
"I-I still want to be with Neji."
A lopsided smile playing across his thin lips, Ko combed his fingers through Hinata's clipped hair.
"You need to learn the ways of the world now."
"The ways of the world are not fair," she whispered.
Instead of shushing her and trying to justify clan tradition, Ko tipped Hinata's chin up to face him.
"You'll learn that's often true. I trust you'll find a way to cope with it, even if you're denied the one you love. I did."
Before Hinata could ask about his final words, Ko muttered something about heading back inside before the evening chill set in. He bit the inside of his lip to bury the pain from years of self-deprivation, to fill the hole in his heart that Hinata couldn't quite satisfy.
When Hinata didn't answer three of his knocks, Ko slid her bedroom door open by a sliver. He'd waited outside her room for ten minutes to begin their scheduled training, then searched her usual hideouts when she failed to appear. Peering through the gap between her door and the doorframe, he gasped into the palm of his hand. On Hinata's bed, Neji sat with his back stiff, his shirt and jacket in a crumpled pile at his feet. Behind him, Hinata gingerly applied ointment to the scar tissue on his back, still angry and raw. The patch of hairless pink skin, stretched taunt across his fresh wound, screamed out for relief.
"You don't need to do this, Hinata."
"I don't mind it, big brother. You need someone to reach your back for you."
She smiled when he turned back to face her. Their white eyes met with a tenderness Ko saw so rarely between cousins coupled in arranged, dynastic marriages. Neji's eyes flickered to his lap and the pinch of his lips declared defeat. Hinata dipped her index finger into the pot of ointment again and rubbed the soothing balm in circles. Neji's sigh of relief reached Ko's ears as he slid the door farther along its tracks, but not enough to catch the cousins' attention. Protecting Hinata was his duty, and Neji now posed a different kind of danger to her – a far more subtle, tempting danger.
"This feels good," Neji whispered. "Your hands...they're so gentle and soft."
Something anchored Ko's feet in the corridor – curiosity, perhaps, some subconscious desire to watch their exchange play out. Tendrils of warmth touched Ko's heart when Neji flashed a full mouth of teeth at the floor. The lines of his face lifted, drained of their usual tension.
"I want to take care of you because –" A quiver cut Hinata's voice short.
Hinata closed her eyes and her hand sat still on Neji's shoulder. Hope welled in Ko's chest. Maybe his words of warning resonated with her, and she realized the hard-won wisdom he'd gained through experience and pain.
"Because what?"
"I...I love you."
Neji's hand clamped the edge of Hinata's mattress. His jaw tightened and Ko imagined his teeth locking. Tell her no, Ko pleaded. If Neji showed the sense his cousin lacked, Ko could spare himself the pain of being the one to deny her.
"Do you?"
"Y-yes. Yes, I do."
Hinata's stutter disappeared after a few deep breaths. She now declared her answer with a firm, uncompromising voice. Ko gasped when her puckered lips touched the top of Neji's cheek with a soft smack. Hinata's bold display roused a tiny rush of pride in Ko, but he reminded himself that meek, submissive Hyuga stayed out of trouble. Once Hinata withdrew, Neji touched two fingertips to the spot where she kissed him. The flicker of his brows and the curl in his top lip were unreadable.
"Why?"
The word hung between them, a genuine question asked without malice.
"Because you're kind. You care about me and...you're gentle," she breathed out. "A-and when I take care of you and show you love, you give it back to me."
"This is unexpected."
"Then...I'm sorry, big brother Neji."
Her fleeting courage gone, Hinata withdrew to the opposite corner of her bed and folded her hands in her lap. The tin of ointment lay forgotten on the sheets between them. Now it wasn't just Hinata who looked bashful as usual. Neji hunched his shoulders forward and hugged his knees to his chest. He was still just a boy, Ko thought, prone to the confusion and shyness that often came at his age. Ko's heart tapped at his breastbone while he awaited his answer.
Finally, Neji chuckled.
"If I am to call you Hinata, then I think it's only fair that you call me by my name, without the formalities."
"I see," Hinata breathed out.
"I can't have the girl I love calling me big brother Neji."
Red splotches blossomed across Hinata's face. She parted her lips then pressed them closed again. They met in an awkward, grasping embrace along the side of the bed, with Neji's fingers entangled in her hair. He rocked them back and forth, a happy hum faint in the air. Hinata withdrew for breath a few moments later, her fingers feather-light along the outer curve of her cousin's face. She touched her puckered lips to the corner of his mouth.
"That tickles," Neji laughed. "Your lips are so soft."
Another kiss followed, closer to the center of his lips. Hinata's rapid blinks betrayed her mixture of anxiety and excitement.
"Can I –?"
"Yes, go ahead."
Neji's face tipped forward so his lips enveloped Hinata's. Then their foreheads met in the inches between them – his cotton bandages touching her black bangs. Hinata planted a quick kiss to his forehead and buried her face in the junction of his neck and shoulder.
"This is the best day of my life," Hinata sighed. "I want to love you forever."
"Then I will."
Knowing Hinata was in good hands, Ko closed her bedroom door and turned down the corridor with a smile. She was free, happy and loved. That was something he couldn't say for himself. Hiashi would inevitably force the cousins apart – most definitely by the time Hinata reached marrying age. But Ko prayed against hope that the day might never arrive after all