Chapter 14: New Perspective

In which Eddie and V have their world shaken and there is enough guilt for everyone.

Carrie had been silent on the way back, desyncing and detransforming almost as soon as they left Stark Industries. They only stayed wrapped around Cameron's left arm and side, covering the damaged skin with their own mass. All their attention was on fixing the wounds, and if Cameron listened closely, he could feel vague impressions of what exactly they were doing.

It wasn't fair. Just yesterday, Carrie had to heal him from a stab wound. Now they had to heal burns that covered a quarter of his body.

They were only a day old! They shouldn't have had to deal with this!

…Why did every time Cameron tried to help someone, he was the one who ended up needing to be rescued?

He felt like a burden. Like a child so intent on helping, he just kept getting underfoot and messing things up.

"I'm sorry," Cameron whispered, when Venom finally brought them all home. He curled on the couch, feeling tired enough to fall asleep right then and there, but too guilty to relax.

"For scaring the living daylights out of us?" Leslie asked. She sat cross-legged on the floor and took off her scarf and bandana, pulling her sweat-soaked hair out of the ponytail. "Blame Kafka for that. If not for her stupidity…"

"You shouldn't have risked your life like this, but you did the best you could under the circumstances," Eddie assured. "She would've died if you didn't interfere."

"And it wasn't just your decision. We made that choice together," Carrie whispered.

"At least no one died," Leslie added. "Even if we fucked up everything else, that's still something to celebrate, right?"

"We still should've done better," Cameron disagreed. "I can't believe we forgot to tell anyone about the crystal…"

"I can't believe we didn't even have a plan going in!" Leslie groaned. "That fight was too dangerous to just wing it! And we knew that we'll have to deal with fire, but we didn't think to at least grab a fire extinguisher or something? Or better yet, why didn't we just destroy the teleporter the moment we came in? Sure, it wouldn't have helped against Inferno, but at least then we wouldn't have had to worry about Dormammu!"

"And then we just made everything worse," Eddie added. His shoulders slumped, "War Machine could've defeated Inferno if we just told him how. But instead we let Spider-Man provoke us and wasted time fighting him. Then instead of taking out the crystal, we allowed ourselves to get distracted at the last moment."

"So did we really help anyone?" Cameron asked quietly. "Or did we just make everything worse?"

"…I don't even know anymore," Leslie admitted, her voice cracking slightly. "Maybe we should just… let Iron Man and War Machine handle this? They can track down the teleporter, and they can deal with Inferno if Spider-Man tells them what they need to do."

"At least they know what they're doing better than us," Cameron added bitterly. "We'll probably just mess up again."

Eddie hated seeing the kids so miserable. It wasn't their fault that everything had gone so wrong.

They shouldn't have gotten involved in this in the first place. Why did he let them fight that monster?! This should've been his burden to carry, not theirs.

If someone had to suffer, it should've been him.

V shifted under his skin, clearly unhappy with that line of thought. "Eddie, if you're blaming yourself, then you should blame me too. I couldn't stop them from getting hurt either."

Eddie knew they were just trying to make him feel better, but it only served to remind him that V had been hurt too. "I just wish there was something I could do to make things better…"

"Get some food."

Eddie blinked. "Uh… What?"

"Get some food," V repeated. "Regeneration requires energy and none of us has eaten anything since morning. And both Carrie and I need phenethylamine."

…Right, of course. Klyntar needed that substance to live, especially if they had been hurt. Fortunately, phenethylamine could be found in chocolate, so it wasn't hard to obtain.

"I'm going to get some food," Eddie announced out loud.

Leslie's stomach grumbled loudly in response and she let out a startled laugh, "Sure. It's better to be just miserable than miserable and hungry."

"Go to my room, there's money in the dresser. Second shelf," Cameron said.

Eddie flushed at the reminder. That was right… he had no money himself.

He thanked Cameron and took the money, pushing down the bitterness that threatened to swallow him whole. Then he left the apartment to find a grocery store.

Eddie had quickly bought the food – some meat, some vegetables, definitely some chocolate – hoping it would be enough to last three people for more than a single meal. It was hard to judge the amounts needed, especially when there were also two symbiotes involved, and while he knew how to cook, he had never been very good at it.

He had never been good at many things.

By the time they hit thirty, most people usually had their life at least somewhat figured out. The few of his former co-workers that Eddie had been friendly enough to have some small talk with were already married, had children…

But at least he had a home before and a somewhat steady job. Now he couldn't even show his real face on the street! All he had were the clothes on his back, and even those had been given to him in prison.

He had lost everything he had.

"But you still have me and I still have you," V whispered. "It's more than we had before."

"…I'm sorry I can't give you a better life, V. I'm sorry we have to rely on the kindness of children just to have something to eat."

All his life, Eddie had tried to make something of himself. He had tried so hard… But no matter what he did, he just kept ruining everything.

Why was it that even when he tried to help, to make a difference, to do something good, he just made everything worse? It was like a curse, like his mere presence brought bad luck with it…

Maybe his family had the right idea to stay away from him. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what promises he made, he just kept hurting everyone around him.

Maybe he should've just stayed in prison. What was even the point of escaping, if he would never be considered anything more than a monster?

"Oh, spare me the pity party!" Madame Web's voice rang out suddenly, startling him enough that Eddie dropped the grocery bags. "Whoever said that anything in life was supposed to be easy?"

The wind picked up, bringing with it swirls of purple smoke. It curled around him, changing his surroundings to a familiar room made of black mist.

Eddie could feel V tensing up, but they didn't transform. Whoever (or whatever) Madame Web really was, she had helped them before. Perhaps she would help them now too.

"What do you want?" Eddie asked.

"For you to stop being a pathetic wreck and start doing something useful with yourself," she replied bluntly.

Eddie scoffed bitterly. "Every time I try to do something good, I just keep making things worse. I should just quit while I'm ahead."

Madame Web rested her chin on one hand. "It is fascinating how similar you are to one Mr. Parker, despite proclaiming your hatred of him. You are just as prone to self-pity as he is."

"What?! I'm nothing like him!" Eddie snapped. "He destroyed my life for no damn reason! I'm trying to be a bigger person and let it go, but he's still hounding me! I wasn't the one who threw the first punch today! And what about everything he did to V?!"

The anger he had tried so hard to keep in check was burning brighter again, reflecting in V and growing stronger.

"Stop being so self-centered," Madame Web scoffed. "The world doesn't revolve around you, and Spider-Man has better things to do than waste time just to inconvenience you."

"Inconvenience?! He humiliated me! Made me look like a liar! Stole the prize money and made me lose my job! And he did it all just to–"

"Just to help someone he cared about?" Madame Web interrupted.

She snapped her fingers, creating a now-familiar screen.

On it, Parker and a man Eddie recognized as Dr. Curt Connors, the Lizard, were working in a lab together. They used some strange device on a lab rat that was missing a front leg.

Then right before his eyes, the rat grew its leg back.

"Look! The reptile's ability to grow a new limb in a mammal!" Dr. Connors proclaimed. "All thanks to a sample of reptilian DNA and the neogenic recombinator."

"That's incredible!"

"No, Peter. This is only the beginning. When we can do the same for human beings, replace limbs lost in accidents or in war…" He held the shoulder of his missing right arm. "That would be incredible."

The scene shifted in a burst of static.

Instead of the brightly-lit lab, it showed dark sewer tunnels. And Connors himself was no longer human: just a huge reptile wearing a tattered lab coat. He was standing in front of a blonde woman, holding something wrapped in a tarp in his hands.

"Why did you bring me here, Curt?" the woman asked.

"So we could be together," the Lizard replied.

"You're still my husband. I love you. I want to be with you. But not like this."

The Lizard's crocodilian face softened, "I– I love you too. That's why I need your help with this."

He pulled off the tarp, revealing the neogenic recombinator.

"What are you going to do with it?" the woman, his wife, asked in trepidation.

"Don't be afraid, Margaret," the Lizard said as the device started to glow. "It will transform you. You will be able to heal any wound, replace any limb… First you, then everyone! Every man, woman, and child! I can transform all of them! No more suffering, no more pain!"

Eddie kept watching as Margaret tried to get through to her husband. He never really considered why Connors had done this, simply assuming it was out of malice. (He remembered what it was like to have cancer and no money to treat it. He wondered how many people would've gladly agreed to be turned into lizards, so long as it kept them alive and healthy.)

Then Spider-Man arrived and fought the Lizard, eventually defeating him and using the neogenic recombinator to turn him back human.

"I'm so sorry…" Connors whispered, desperately hugging his wife.

"It wasn't you, Curt," she reassured.

He shook his head, "Some part of me was. I– I remember it. I remember everything I've done. But it was like– like I couldn't control myself."

Margaret hugged him tighter, "I'm just glad that you're alright."

Connors leaned back with a bitter laugh, "Am I? Am I even human again? Or am I going to start growing scales tomorrow? Who is going to get hurt next? You? Our son? Some innocent bystander who has nothing to do with this?"

Margaret cupped his cheek, "Curt, all your life you have tried to help people. You never wanted to hurt anyone."

"But I still did! I should've waited, should've done more research… But I– I just wanted–" with a strangled sob, he buried his face in the crook of Margaret's neck. "I ruined everything… What's going to happen when everyone finds out about this? My life– the lives of our whole family will be destroyed."

"No one will find out," Spider-Man interrupted. "As far as anyone is concerned, the Lizard has died today. You've made a mistake, Dr. Connors, but you shouldn't have to pay for it for the rest of your life."

The screen shifted again.

And this time, Eddie saw himself leading J. Jonah Jameson to the Connors' residence.

He felt sick. He remembered how eager he had been to reveal the truth behind the Lizard. He had been so caught up in his desire to prove himself, he never once stopped to think that maybe there was more to the story.

That if he succeeded, he would be ruining someone's life. Just like his own life had been ruined.

The screen shifted once more.

This time it showed an old woman that Eddie recognized from V's memories as Parker's aunt May. She was staring at the bills that had been long overdue, looking tired and weary.

"Oh, Ben…" she whispered. "It feels like everything has been going wrong ever since you–" She choked up, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I don't want to burden Peter, but how am I ever going to pay for this?"

"Aunt May, I'm home!" Parker announced, entering the house.

She quickly hid the bills, plastering a smile on her face. "Hello, dear."

"I brought you something," Parker said and handed her a stack of hundred-dollar bills.

"Peter, where did you get this?" May gasped.

"I sold an exclusive photo to the Daily Bugle," Parker replied, showing her the newspaper.

On the front page was the photo of the battle between Spider-Man and the Lizard.

V felt like their world had suddenly turned upside down.

They had never properly bonded to Spider-Man, and the few memories they got from him were jumbled fragments. What they did remember was colored by Eddie's emotions, and they never had a reason to question it, too caught up in their own hatred.

And now it turned out that all that bitterness and hate had been misplaced.

Spider-Man hadn't been trying to hurt Eddie. He had just wanted to help his family and protect a good man who had made a terrible mistake.

It was all just a horrible coincidence.

"But he still hurt you, V!" Eddie insisted. "He rejected you, after you did everything you could to help him! He nearly killed you!"

V shuddered, remembering that awful sound of bells. But even stronger was the memory of Leslie's calm words, 'Did you try talking to him?'

"I never told him what I really am. I never explained what I was doing. I was so scared of rejection, I just… I just made things worse."

"You were helping him, protecting him, making him stronger! And he treated you like a monster! Why?!"

Madame Web snapped her fingers. The static on the screen cleared again.

It showed a slightly younger Peter Parker watching the news with an older man that V recognized as his late Uncle Ben.

"I don't get it," Peter said, gesturing at the TV. "So some bank robber got shot and killed by the cops. So what?! There were hostages involved! At least this way no innocent people got hurt."

Ben frowned. "Are you saying that he deserved to die?"

"I'm saying that if someone had to die, it should be the guy who was trying to commit armed robbery, not some innocent bystanders!"

"How do you know that he would've killed someone if he was still alive?" Ben challenged.

"How do you know he wouldn't have?" Peter shot back. "Or do you think the cops should've waited until he actually shot someone just to prove that he was serious? His life isn't more important than that of his hostages!"

V was surprised to hear Peter saying this, because it was something both they and Eddie had believed wholeheartedly. If they had to kill to protect innocent people, then so be it.

"Peter, you can't assign value to human life. Every life is precious, and we don't get to decide who deserves to live or die. You don't know why this man had decided to do this. Everyone has their reasons."

"I'm not– I'm not saying that every criminal deserves to die. I know that there might be extenuating circumstances," Peter conceded. "But sometimes… Some people are just evil, rotten to the core! Murderers, rapists… Scum of the Earth!"

"Then who do you think deserves the right to be their judge, jury, and executioner? This kind of power… Can you imagine what kind of responsibility it brings with it? And how easy it is to misuse? People are fallible, they make mistakes… And there is something else you're forgetting, Peter."

"Like what?"

"People can change. They can make different choices. But if you kill them, you take away the opportunity for redemption."

"…But what if they don't deserve it? What if they've done something unforgivable?" Peter asked. "Should they still get a second chance?"

"No one is beyond redemption, Peter. No one."

The image on the screen changed.

Now Peter was dressed as Spider-Man. It was hard to tell where exactly he was: it was just a long corridor filled with lockers.

Suddenly, a man burst in through the door, chased by a guard.

"Help! Don't let him get away!" the guard shouted.

"Sorry, pal, but I'm a wrestler, not a cop," Peter replied carelessly. "Why should I get involved?"

"When did that happen?" V wondered. It sounded so unlike the Peter they knew…

Another shift in the image, and now Peter was walking down the street. When he saw several police cars standing in front of his home, he ran inside. There were cops in the house and his aunt was sobbing inconsolably.

"I have bad news, son," one of the cops said.

His uncle was dead, killed in a robbery gone wrong.

V was surprised at the rage they felt hearing this. Their opinion on Peter was… complicated, but they remembered how much he loved his uncle.

Ben had been Peter's father in all but name. He was a kind man, who didn't deserve to be gunned down by some pathetic crook!

The cops were chasing down the perpetrator, but Spider-Man got to him faster, finding the killer holed up in an abandoned warehouse.

An ordinary crook was no match for him. Peter knocked away his gun and grabbed him by the collar, slamming him into the wall with a snarl of rage. He ripped off the killer's mask–

And staggered back in horror, seeing beneath it the same man he had refused to stop before.

V numbly watched as Peter struggled against his own hatred, guilt, and grief. And yet, despite everything, he had left the killer alive, webbing him up for the cops to find.

Then the scene shifted to a cemetery.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ben," Peter whispered to the grave of the man who had raised him. "This is all my fault… You've always said that with great power comes great responsibility, but I– I forgot about it. And you paid the price." He wiped away the tears running down his face. "But I promise you, Uncle Ben, I promise to always use my powers for good. I will never forget what you have taught me ever again."

"No wonder he hated me," V whispered miserably. "I was acting against everything he believed in. I nearly made him break a promise to someone he loved."

"You didn't have access to all his memories. You couldn't have known about that," Eddie tried to reassure them.

"But I should have! I should've tried harder to understand his reasons, not just dismissed his opinions and hoped that he'll just get over it! I was– I was no better than the rest of my species."

"V…"

"Leslie was right… None of the things that happened to us had been Spider-Man's fault. We hated him for no reason."

Because it was easier to blame someone, easier to believe that it was some grand conspiracy against him personally, than to accept that Eddie had simply drawn the short stick.

"…Fine, I get your point," Eddie finally said out loud, even though he was sure that Madame Web could read his mind anyway. He tried to ignore the way his voice was starting to crack. "I'm just a failure. I can't do anything right, because every time I try to make a difference, I just end up hurting someone who doesn't deserve it."

"And again with the self-pity…" Madame Web drawled. She curiously tilted her head, "Do you truly believe that you are so utterly incapable of anything good?"

"Wasn't that the entire point of this?!" Eddie snapped. "To show how much I– how much both of us have fucked up?!"

"You already carry far too much guilt on your shoulders. Don't add to it unnecessarily," Madame Web replied. Her voice softened slightly, "The past remains in the past. You can study it, learn from it, but you cannot change it. All you can do is put it behind you and keep moving forward. Now you have the chance to turn your lives around."

"Who the hell cares?!" Eddie cried. "Does it even matter whether we're trying to change or not?! What good does it do if we still keep making things worse for everyone?!"

Madame Web pressed her fingertips together. "So you are saying that staying a vengeful half-mad wreck of a person would've been better?"

"I'm saying that it doesn't matter what we do and why! We're messing things up either way!"

"Only because you see the world from your own limited perspective," Madame Web replied. "The future is always in motion. Every choice, no matter how small, can change it in ways that are impossible to predict." She smirked slightly, "That is, impossible for most beings to predict. But I can see everything. Every choice, every possibility… Do you want to know what would've happened if both of you remained driven by hate?"

Eddie didn't reply at first, looking warily at her. "V, do you want to see this? Or would it be better not to know?"

"I– I don't know. But… it can't be worse than what we have already seen, right?"

"Alright," Eddie said finally. "Show us."

Madame Web snapped her fingers again. "Then watch."