(A/N): Lisbet, Jerremyah and Grey have a conversation, we learn more about Jerremyah's control issues and Lisbet and Jerremyah's relationship, and how Grey feels about things. Then, the aftermath of Leo's half of the dream.

Lisbet

Jerremyah was the one to cast the silencing spell around his room this time, since I was too preoccupied with my aching heart to concentrate enough to do so. He and I had put Leo to bed; we'd said goodnight, and I'd kissed him on the forehead- and I'd barely resisted the urge to offer to tuck him in. In the end, I'd only managed it because not only did I know he'd refuse- which wouldn't have bother me- but also because I knew he'd resent me for it. Resent me for treating him like a child. So no; I kissed him on the forehead, and tried my damnedest not to imagine a life where Jerremyah and I got to do this every night- had been doing this, every night since Leo was born. Even dwelling on it as little as possible, it made my chest ache.

"You said you wanted to talk to me," Grey said, and it was in no way a question. More of a reminder, really, if anything. I got the distinct feeling I'd been lost in my own world, and unintentionally left him waiting as Jerremyah refused to start without me.

I turned to my mate and flashed him a small, grateful smile, even if I was still mad at him for cutting me off earlier, and telling Leo to ignore me. Turning back to Grey, I grimaced. "First things first, I'll give you a run down of the agenda, and you can pick what order you want to broach the subjects in." I thought I was being rather gracious giving him a choice- especially since I already knew what order he was going to choose. "Number one, your daughter, and ex," He echoed my grimace, and I tried to hide my amusement as much as possible- I found great joy in providing his options in reverse order of what I thought his preference to be. This one, I was sure about. The others... a bit of a toss up. "Number two, Jerremyah's control issues," His eyes flicked to Jerremyah over my shoulder only briefly, but I still caught the concern in them. Uh oh, that couldn't be good. "Number three, your theory about why our relationship ended."

Grey huffed out a bitter, strained laugh. "Those are quite some... options, you have there, Lis." This didn't surprise me in the slightest. "How much has Jer told you, about his control issues?" His steady gaze remained on my face, likely intent on capturing my reaction. "Since you broke up, I mean?" I still didn't like calling it that, but I forced myself not to wince now that I knew I was being watched so intensely.

"He said it was worse. A lot worse." By the way Grey's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, I knew this was a hell of an understatement. Let me repeat: Uh. Oh. "Worse than he was before we got together- before we met." He tipped his head ever so slightly, acknowledging what I'd said, before he pursed his lips.

"True," Which meant nothing except to confirm that Jerremyah hadn't outright lied to me- which didn't mean he hadn't understated the dickens out of the situation. Grey was presumably looking at Jerremyah again, because he was studying something thoughtfully over my shoulder, but when his eyes met mine again, he crossed his arms over his chest in a manner I might be inclined to describe as 'lazily'. "I've never seen anything like it." My unnecessary breath caught in my chest. "Three hundred and fifty years of new recruits, vampire soirees, and missions with whatever contacts Sidonie can scrounge up, and I've never seen someone do it quite the way he does." I knew we were all taking this seriously, by the way neither of them made an innuendo about it.

I forced myself to start breathing again, if only because the rhythm made me feel a little more in control. "What- what does that mean? Jer?" I turned to face him, and he was still lingering by the door as if he expected us to kick him out at any moment. Of his own room. I took half a step toward him, but stopped as he took a full step back as if to counter me, and I heard the doorknob rattle as he slammed into it. "...my love?" His eyes darted to my face, and I saw the pain there- definitely not from the doorknob- as well as fear. Utter, bone-deep, terror. Oh.

I reached for him and he shook his head, but instead of backing up, this time he skirted the edge of the room, giving me a wide berth as he made his way to sit on the very end of his bed- perched as though, again, he expected to have to leave in a hurry. He was silent for a minute, but I kept my eyes on him, wanting to hear this from him- and the fact that Grey didn't speak up and try to do it for him, spoke volumes.

"I- I rip people apart now, Lis." ...okay. That was... fixable. Well, not 'fixable', but- it wasn't- they'd made it seem like- "Y'know when I told you and Wilde that if I tried to do what Abraham did to those people in the church, I would've torn them to shreds?" I remembered it pretty clearly, yeah, considering it'd been a literal fucking massacre- not to mention one of the formative moments of our relationship. "Well, it's not an exaggeration, anymore." Had it- "If they weren't able to escape, resist me, fight back- I'd slaughter each and every one of them, whether I was full to bursting beforehand or not. I'd bite, and drink, and tear, until there was nothing left but a bloody mess of what could only very loosely be called 'bodies'. I'd drink until I spewed, then keep drinking until there wasn't a heartbeat left in that place- and I might even lap up the puddles soaked into the carpet afterward."

He wasn't looking at me. It bothered me, that he wouldn't look at me. "And?" I said, and I saw him freeze at the same time I heard Grey stop breathing. His head snapped up, and I saw the desperation in his eyes. Desperation for what, exactly? Understanding? Love? Trust?

"And? And, what? And, what, Lis?" I shrugged as tersely as I could, which probably wasn't quite the right move, but I couldn't bring myself to be gentle right now.

"You'll be pleased to know that it doesn't matter," He blinked, and I had a front row seat to watch the outrage flood onto his face.

Within a second, he was standing in front of me- albeit still a few feet away, as if he didn't want to scare me with his looming height, and foreboding musculature. As if I could ever see that body as anything other than a tender protector; a stoker of the flame buried in my chest... and other places. "Doesn't matter? Doesn't. Matter?" He looked like I'd been anyone else, he would've gotten in my face- except I knew he'd never get in Leo's face like this anymore, and he definitely would've felt secure enough in our relationship to get in my face before we'd broken up. "Lis-"

I cut him off, crossing my arms over my chest in a way that intentionally drew his eyes downward, no matter how much he tried to fight it, or how quickly he returned them to the safe- well, safer- territory of my face. "It doesn't matter, because even if I had been aware that you were exaggerating when you first told me-" He blinked, as if that information was going to take a second to sink in. "-we've already committed to helping you get a handle on your control issues. Your control issues, which very well may be related to Grey's theory about our relationship."

Grey shot me a dirty look, as Jerremyah turned to him with both hurt and hope in his eyes. "You... don't make promises, I can't back up." Jerremyah's face fell slightly, but he remained cautiously optimistic. "This isn't- it's not-" Grey hissed out a breath, and ran a hand over his dark curls. "It's just a theory, and it's more to do with your relationship, than- and I'm not an expert on... mates, and kits, and... love." Jerremyah nodded, as if he was agreeing with all of those things- or at least acknowledging them.

"Got it, go on." Grey flashed him a frustrated look, and Jerremyah shot him a far more desperate one back, which forced Grey to soften. To Jerremyah, at least. He gave me another filthy look. "And why couldn't Lisbet explain this all to you, if she thinks it's so important?" I opened my mouth to answer, but Jerremyah spoke up before I could.

"Too complicated. Emotions. Too close. Our relationship. Worried about judgement. For the love of God- or Sidonie, whichever works on you- please get to the point." Grey arched an eyebrow at him, as if surprised that Jerremyah would stoop to invoking Sidonie's name in order to get information out of him. "This is one time I don't mind you psychoanalyzing us, so please-"

Grey cut him off, leveling a finger at both of us. "If I do this, you leave off." I blinked, but Jerremyah nodded in a way I suspected was purely instinctual. "No talk about my relationship with Sidonie, or with Lavinia. No in depth discussions about my dau- Dahrya." That slip up was all we needed to know, so I was willing to let it slide. "And, if it comes down to it, I need you to promise to keep your demon child in check." I felt a smirk form on my lips at that provision.

"If Leo wants to hit you again, I don't know if I-" Grey's face screwed up, then he shook his head briskly.

"I don't give a shit if he punches me in the face or anywhere else- God knows I've hit him enough to have earned it-" A fact that made a low growl crawl up the back of my throat, even though I knew the real reason behind it, and had thrown countless punches at him myself. We all had. "-but I need him to keep the teasing to a minimum, especially around- if I'm going to have a relationship with her, I don't know if I can do it the way I am now. I don't think I'm exactly-" He paused, and hesitated, before he said, "Father material."

Jerremyah was apparently present enough to give his best friend a nervous smile, and to squeeze his shoulder in what he probably thought was a reassuring manner. "I can do that. And besides," He said. "There are way worse fathers out there than your manwhore self." Grey narrowed his eyes at him, and as I gave him my reluctant promise in the form of a nod, a sharp smirk slid onto his face.

"Speaking of fathers," He said pointedly, and Jerremyah blinked. "Have you started referring to Leo as your kit in your head yet?" For a split second, I instinctively thought he was talking to me, even if he'd just been talking about 'fathers'. Then, as Jerremyah blanched, I realised that he was not, in fact, talking to me, and it was so much worse.

Jerremyah spluttered nonsensically for a few seconds before the color returned to his face- all the color, it seemed, because it was now quite red. "That's- that's not- he's Lisb- he's just a kid- he's- it's only been three days!" Was what he came out with at last, and Grey chuckled darkly.

"That's not a 'no'." He sing-songed, and he was right- it wasn't. Which made me blink, and stare at Jerremyah in a whole new light, even as he avoided my gaze as much as possible.

I knew he'd developed a soft spot for Leo, but I hadn't thought... this quickly? Was that possible? Was it just because I, his mate, thought of Leo as such, and Jerremyah knew that? Or was it- could it- did he really- I stepped closer, and slid my hand into his. His eyes dropped like he was startled, and when he raised them, I saw the fear there. The shame. But most of all, once again, I saw the desperation.

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's okay. I don't have any more right to it than you do, and it doesn't mean- the only thing that matters, is that we're here for him." Relief flooded onto his face, even if it did remain slightly pained. "Grey- tell him." Jerremyah's eyes lifted, first to me, and then over to our best friend, and Grey rolled his eyes at us incredibly fondly.

"I posited to Lisbet that the reason your protective instincts went into overdrive, subsequently leading to your break up," Grey paused here as if only to allow us time to wince. "Was because once the idea of a kit was 'off the table'," He put air quotes around this phrase. "Your instinct to protect your family was narrowed to one person- your mate- and you became even more terrified than usual that you were going to lose her." Jerremyah was still for a second, before he nodded hesitantly.

"...okay. That- makes sense. But why- those last few months, after..." He was quiet for a second, and I held my breath. "After Khal's prediction, I was- it got worse. More intense. That desire- need- to protect. If I no longer thought it wasn't 'off the table'-"

Grey cut him off, smiling slightly sadly. "Did you?" Jerremyah's eyebrows furrowed. "Did you ever really believe it was true- let yourself hope- until you came here, and saw them together, and realised-" Jerremyah's head dropped like he was ashamed, which wouldn't do.

I brought my hands up and cupped his face in them, forcing him to meet my eyes. "It's okay," I told him again, because I wasn't sure what else I could say. "You are-" I held a breath in my chest for a second, hoping that when I released it, it would carry the right words with it. "You are everything I want in a mate, and as the father to my kit." I felt my heart fracture, and wondered if our pieces might get mixed up, since his had clearly done the same. "And Leo- he couldn't ask for more. Even if he doesn't want- he still has. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone but you." He looked like he might cry.

"Lis..." he croaked, but when he didn't- apparently couldn't- say anything more, I continued.

"Whether it's... broken bones, or first loves, or recreational drug use and a loss of virginity-" Grey let out a rather unflattering laugh from behind me. "There's no one I want to handle it with me, but you." His eyes shone with unshed tears, even as a watery smile bloomed on his lips.

He leaned down, and rubbed my nose with his. "Lis-" The door broke open, and Jerremyah, Grey, and I jumped as Shari and Herc tumbled through. Well, Herc tumbled through, looking uncharacteristically ruffled, and Shari followed hot on his heels, wild-eyed and clearly agitated.

"What do we do?" She blurted desperately, and I blinked.

"About... what?" She stared at me disbelievingly, and then I saw her take a deep sniff- her nose wrinkling at the lingering scent of Jerremyah's fear, desperation and anger- just about everything, really- not to mention Leo and I's added emotions from earlier.

Herc straightened himself up, took one look at Jerremyah's face in my hands, and rolled his eyes- which didn't seem like something he tended to do often. "Something's wrong with Hermanito," My heart dropped through my stomach, as I realised he meant Leo. "Can't you smell it?" I took a deep breath in through my nose- felt Jerremyah do the same, and heard Grey follow suit- and there, underneath everything, was the faint- or at the very least, distant- stench of Leo's fear. His terror.

I felt my eyes widen, and I was moving before I even really thought about ti. A split second later, I was pressed against Leo's door, with Jerremyah flush against my back, and Shari and Herc pressed to either side of the door frame. If I'd had the brain power to spare, I would've thought it was quite funny that Herc was so far from his usual calm, laid-back, nonchalant self, whenever Leo wasn't around to see him be worried about him.

I heard a whimper from behind the door- Leo's frightened whimper- and would've broken it down, if Jerremyah hadn't twisted the knob clean off a second before I could. The door swung open now there was nothing keeping it shut, and immediately, I could tell it was just a nightmare, but the knowledge barely made me feel any better. Sure, he wasn't in any immediate danger, but... he certainly seemed to think he was, and that was almost as bad.

I almost fell through the doorway, only stopped by Jerremyah's hand curling around my hip in a way that at just about any other point would've ended in me jumping him, but right now barely registered. Before I could even register it, we were halfway across the room, and I was confused for a second as to how I'd gotten here when my legs were undoubtedly so shaky, only to realise that Jerremyah had carried me- was still carrying me. I put a hand on his chest and he stopped us, just a foot or two from the foot of Leo's bed.

Around us, I could see Shari to one side, by his desk, and on the other side, by his closet, I saw Herc. I didn't have to look to know that Grey was somewhere behind us- probably still by the door, on the very, very off chance that this was some sort of ambush. I had a clear view of Leo now, beyond the curtains of his four poster; he was tangled in the covers, his hair a mess and his sleep shirt rumpled and soaked with sweat. There was sweat dripping down his face, too- so much so, that at first, I didn't even realise he was crying- silently weeping. I probably never would have, if I hadn't managed to catch a whiff of the salt of his tears, under the cloying sweetness of his pervading fear.

I ached to go to him- so much so that I brushed Jerremyah's hands off me- but when I reached the edge of the mattress closest to him, I didn't know what to do. My eyes flicked up, and instinctively, I met Jerremyah's, even though he'd moved without me knowing. He was on the opposite side of the bed, by the window where Shari had been, whereas I'd had to go to Herc's to get closer. Herc and Shari had moved to the foot of the bed instead, taking the position Jerremyah and I had vacated. "Touch him," Jerremyah said, his eyes pained, but when I looked down at Leo, I wasn't sure I could.

"What if... what if I make things worse?" I don't know why we were whispering- wasn't waking him up the goal?- but talking any louder felt wrong, and so, we were stuck like this.

Jerremyah eyed Leo's unconscious form, and when he met my eyes again, he looked reluctantly, painfully, resigned. "Lis, look at him- I don't think it can get much worse." Unfortunately, I wasn't sure I disagreed.

Tentatively I reached out a hand, and brushed the hair off of his forehead as lovingly as I could. "It's time to wake up, Nounours." His only reaction was a twitch, so I started running my hands up and down his arms gently, trying to ease him back into the waking world- or at least into a better dream- but I was also worried about rubbing some warmth back into his limbs, since even I could feel how cold they were. I pet his hair and stroked his cheek, and when that didn't work, I pressed my lips to his ear. "Come back to the land of the living, little one." He jolted, and when I pulled back, I saw his eyes shoot open.

They were wide, and terrified, and they swung around the room like they weren't taking in anything they were seeing- and then they met mine, and he burst into tears. I didn't think twice about it- didn't think once, if I'm being honest- I crawled onto the bed, and dragged him into my lap. I drew him to my chest and cradled him there, and felt not an ounce of guilt as he clung to me, sobbing into my collarbone. "It's okay," I told him. "You're safe- everybody's safe." Because I knew that was more likely the bigger concern. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real-" He clutched me tighter, sobbed harder, and it felt like my heart was breaking in my chest. I buried my face in his sweaty hair, and pressed kisses everywhere I could reach. "It wasn't real, I promise. I love you, you're safe." I kept repeating these sorts of statements, because I wasn't sure if any of them were working. I tried to use his heartbeat, or the scent of his emotions, but his heartbeat was still too fast and erratic, and his emotions- if there were any others- were all overwhelmed by fear and a deep sense of sorrow.

After a few minutes of good, solid bawling- awful, wet bawling, more like- he seemed to be coming back to himself a little, because he finally lifted his head enough to look around. And immediately tucked his face back into my throat. I thought, at first, that he was scared, but then I felt his cheeks heat, and heard Grey cough awkwardly from the doorway- as if that wouldn't make things worse.

"We should go, uh... fix that door you broke. Right, guys?" Shari and Herc were clearly both far more reluctant to leave, but Herc was the first to recover, rather predictably. His eyes seemed to take me in first, wrapped around Leo as I was, then darted to Jerremyah hovering by the other side of the bed, and he apparently thought this was a good enough outpouring of support for Leo to make it through this, because he took Shari's arm, and dragged her away. She didn't protest, but she did look over her shoulder wistfully as she went, and after they made it to the hallway, Grey closed the door behind them.

Then cursed, opened it again, flashed me an apologetic look presumably for said curse, scooped up the mangled door knob from the floor, closed the door again and repaired the broken fitting all in the span of about three seconds.

After about a minute of silence, Leo seemed to have gathered his confidence enough to glance around again now they were gone, but when his eyes landed on Jerremyah, they darted away quickly, as if he was embarrassed. Mortified, even. Because of Jerremyah? Hmm... "Do you want to be alone?" He asked quietly, and Leo immediately, vehemently shook his head no. Jerremyah hesitated, then asked, "Do you just want Lisbet, or...?"

Surprisingly, Leo flung out an arm and made a grabby gesture at Jerremyah, even if he apparently couldn't bare to look at him. Jerremyah, for his part, quickly took a seat on the edge of the bed, and took Leo's hand in his like it was nothing. Even as the awed look on his face told me it meant everything to him. I watched Leo squeeze his hand- felt him squeeze me, too, with the grip he had on me, and I pressed yet another kiss to his hair.

It was quite a few, long minutes of this, before Jerremyah felt comfortable enough to speak up again. I guess he thought now that Leo had been sob free for a few minutes, it was safe to do so. "Can I ask... what the dream was about?" Immediately, I felt Leo clam up, and I would've scolded Jerremyah more than just the reproachful look I shot his way, if I hadn't been quite so painfully curious.

"It- it was nothing." He said, which I didn't need to cheat to know was a lie. "It wasn't real." Unfortunately, this also felt like a lie, but when I tried to pull back a bit, Leo tightened his grip, clearly refusing to let me.

"Do you want to explain why that's coming across as a lie, kiddo?" Jerremyah asked calmly, gently- giving him the option to worm his way out of it, if he really wanted. 'I don't know, I'm telling the truth, I swear'- but Leo didn't even try.

He swallowed thickly, opened his mouth, and burst into tears again. I tightened my arm around him, but as he buried his face in my neck, he uttered words that I was both relieved, and terrified, to hear- and thank God, these didn't register as a lie. "I don't want to die!"

(A/N): Jerremyah: 'I rip people apart now.'

Lisbet: '...you didn't rip people apart before?'

also

Jerremyah: 'I'd bite, and drink, and TEAR, until there was nothing left but a bloody mess of what could only very loosely be called 'bodies'.'

Lisbet: 'You are everything I want in a mate, and as the father to my kit.'

or

Jerremyah: 'I'm a monster.'

Lisbet: 'I want to have your (monster) babies.'

Translations:

Hermanito = Little Brother (Colombian Spanish)

Nounours = Teddy Bear (French)