This time Nigel did something with the disclaimer that I don't own any Ghosts characters. This takes place shortly after the episode Alberta's Descendent. And it asks the question, where was Nigel during Ghost Father of the Bride?
A Juicy Secret And A Minor Mutiny
"Nigel," Isaac confronted his boyfriend in the library shortly after Alberta's latest podcast had concluded. "I must speak with you."
"I think I can guess the content of what you wish to discuss," Nigel sighed.
"Nigel," Isaac said sternly. "You not only had vital information about one of my best friends, you were blackmailing her."
"Yes," Nigel winced.
"And you didn't think to let me in on it?" Isaac shouted.
"What?" Nigel did a double take.
"You had in your possession some of the juiciest gossip in over a century and it didn't occur to you to tell your boyfriend?" Isaac snapped. "And then we could have both really enjoyed lording this over Hetty!"
"But…" Nigel blinked. "She's one of your best friends. You just said that."
"Oh yes of course," Isaac waved. "Very dear to me. But that drama was just too good to not exploit!"
"Oh I see…" Nigel remarked.
"We could have dragged it out for weeks! Months! I could have at least gotten the shaft a few times!" Isaac snapped. "And you too! It would have been glorious!"
"I confess I didn't think of that," Nigel frowned. "I also didn't think Trevor would have given up his room for her even when they temporarily broke it off."
"Well Trevor is extremely loyal," Isaac waved. "A bit of a hedonist but a good man. No, Hetty would have been the better target. You could have gotten to stay in Hetty's room with me!"
"Why the hell didn't I think of that?" Nigel gasped.
"Yes!" Isaac snapped. "Why didn't you?"
"I say Isaac," Nigel paused. "I didn't expect to see this side of you. So conniving and willing to exploit your friends' weaknesses. I rather like it!"
"Well, what's done is done," Isaac sighed. "In the future though I'd like to be kept informed of any secrets like that!"
"Understood," Nigel nodded.
"I think perhaps you should also…What's the phrase?" Isaac thought. "Oh yes. Lie low for a few days. Hetty can be quite formidable when she's in a mood. And you my friend are in her crosshairs."
"I understand," Nigel nodded.
"And if anyone asks, I gave you a stern talking to," Isaac remarked. "Now. I want to hear every single detail about how you found Hetty and Trevor. Don't leave anything out!"
"Well…" Nigel began.
Just then a familiar fife playing was heard in another room. "Hang on," Nigel blinked. "Isaac does any other ghost here have a fife?"
"No, not that I'm aware of," Isaac realized it as well. "Unless one of the Cholera ghosts have one. Wait a minute. I know that music…That's…"
"Baxter!" Nigel gasped.
"What's Baxter doing inside the mansion?" Isaac asked.
"How the devil should I know?" Nigel remarked. "I haven't spent any time in the shed since I moved in."
"We'd better investigate," Isaac told him as they went to find out what was going on.
Baxter was in the kitchen playing a tune on his fife for Thorfinn, Flower, Alberta and Pete. "Baxter!" Nigel stormed in with Isaac. "What the devil are you doing here?"
"Oh, you're talking to me now are you?" Baxter snapped. "I thought since you went to the other side, I wasn't good enough to talk to!"
Pete spoke up. "Baxter was just playing some music for us on his fife. Since Sam and Jay are gone for the afternoon running errands we thought we'd listen."
"He's very good," Thorfinn agreed.
"Yeah, I might be able to do a ditty with him as backup," Alberta added. "It would be nice to jam together."
"And I thought it would be nice to converse with ghosts who would appreciate my music for a change!" Baxter added. "I have more of a repertoire than military cadences you know?"
"Baxter, I order you back to the shed," Nigel said with authority.
"Yeah, no," Baxter told him. "I think I'm going to stay here a while if you please. Or even if you don't."
Nigel gasped. "Baxter! Is that any way to talk to a superior officer?"
"Since when are you my superior officer?" Baxter asked. "Since you defected to the other side! Like a reverse Benedict Arnold! Who if you recall…neither side liked!"
"Okay we all know what he did," Isaac spoke up. "But to be fair before the war Benedict Arnold was a true gentleman. He was a guest at a few of my parties and was quite gracious."
"Interesting how he forgives treason so fast," Baxter remarked. "Oh, that's what you see in him Lieutenant!"
"Benedict never committed any treason around me!" Isaac snapped. "And he wasn't a blowhard like Hamilton or Franklin!"
"Baxter, I realize that I may have been a bit lax in my duties," Nigel admitted.
"Understatement of the bloody year," Baxter grumbled.
"But if you do not leave this house and return to the shed there will be dire consequences," Nigel snarled.
"Consequences?" Baxter asked. "What consequences? We're dead! What are you going to do to me? Make me even more dead?"
"He's got a point there, Nigel," Alberta admitted. "You kind of just ditched him."
Baxter went on, pointing the finger at Nigel. "And if we're talking about dereliction of duty, if anyone here would suffer any actual consequences…It would be you!"
"Baxter does have valid point," Thorfinn remarked.
"In fact, what's the bloody point of following orders anymore?" Baxter added. "The war's over. You've run off with your Yankee Doodle over here. And Jenkins is driving me out of my mind! So why shouldn't I do as I please? Oh, and did I mention that we're dead?"
"It's not that big a deal," Pete said trying to keep the peace. "Neither he or Jenkins are hurting anybody."
"Jenkins is here as well?" Isaac asked. "Where?"
"He's upstairs where the TV is," Baxter told him. "With Sasappis and that fellow with no trousers."
"WHAT?" Nigel roared.
"Oh dear," Isaac realized. "This could be problematic. Especially since Sasappis is the biggest gossip on the property and Trevor may carry a slight grudge over your attempt at blackmail."
"YOU THINK?" Nigel shouted at him.
"Serves you right!" Baxter told him. "When they left Jenkins was telling them all about your affair!"
"WHAT?" Nigel shouted. "That damned…AGGH!" He left in a hurry. Isaac followed him.
Alberta fingered her pearls. "This is gonna be juicy ain't it?"
"Oh yes," Baxter remarked.
"Come on!" Alberta said. She and the other ghosts followed Nigel and Isaac.
Meanwhile in the living room…
"I really thought we had something," Jenkins sniffed as he sat on the couch between Sasappis and Trevor. "When he came back to me on Christmas Eve, I thought Nigel had come to his senses. But nooo! I was just something for him to play with until his Yankee boy toy came crawling back to him! And then he just tossed me aside like I was nothing!"
"That's just awful," Sasappis remarked trying to hide his inner glee. "Just awful."
"It sounds like he really took advantage of you," Trevor said sympathetically. "That's not right bro."
"I thought we had something special," Jenkins grumbled. "But nooo! It was all wham, bam…Don't forget to salute Jenkins!"
"Sounds like Nigel's the one who is causing all the problems," Trevor remarked casually.
"Thinks because he's an officer he can run around without any repercussions," Sasappis added. "Shame you can't do anything about it."
"Oh yeah?" Jenkins snapped. "That's what he thinks!"
"JENKINS!" Nigel stormed in with Isaac behind him.
"Speak of the devil," Jenkins glared at Nigel.
"What have you been telling them?" Nigel pointed to Trevor and Sasappis.
"Oh Jenkins told us everything," Trevor grinned. "Which I am definitely going to tell Hetty later on."
"And I will tell everyone else," Sasappis grinned.
"You conniving little…" Nigel fumed as he glared at the two ghosts.
"Hey! We're not the ones running around, two timing their boyfriends," Trevor smirked.
"Good point, Trevor," Sasappis nodded. "Not a very loyal action for an officer."
"Loyalty?" Jenkins scoffed. "That's a laugh! What would this one know anything about loyalty?"
"That is enough Jenkins!" Nigel shouted. "I am ordering you back to the barracks!"
"And I'm going to tell you where to stuff your orders!" Jenkins stood up angrily. "I'm sick of being your…What was that phrase you used Trevor?"
"Boy toy," Trevor told him.
"That's the one!" Jenkins snapped. "Boy toy!"
"You tell him Jenkins!" Baxter agreed. He had arrived with the other ghosts.
"This is mutiny!" Nigel shouted.
"How is it mutiny when you left us first?" Jenkins asked.
"Hear! Hear!" Baxter added. "We're on strike!"
"On strike?" Nigel gasped. "You can't be on strike! You're soldiers!"
"Fine then this is a mutiny," Jenkins said. "A minor mutiny. Since there's only two of us. WHOM YOU ABANDONED!"
"If this is about our relationship…" Nigel began. "Which was a mistake…"
"Which time?" Jenkins asked.
"Seems you make the same mistake every time," Sasappis shrugged.
"You're not helping!" Nigel whirled on Sasappis.
"Didn't say I was," Sasappis grinned.
"You took advantage of me!" Jenkins snapped.
"Oh, stop being a drama ghost!" Nigel snapped. "You knew perfectly well what it was!"
"Did he though?" Sasappis asked.
"Sounds like you were using your position of power in not a very nice way," Trevor added. "What a shock."
"Face it, Lieutenant," Baxter stood by Jenkins. "You can't have your cake and eat it too!"
"Technically you can," Thorfinn spoke up. "Having cake and eating cake same thing. It's a nuance of English language."
"Okay you know what nuance means but you still call cars landships?" Sasappis asked. "You are definitely saying things wrong to mess with us!"
"We're taking a stand!" Baxter shouted. "We are mad as hell and we are definitely not taking it anymore!"
"Over two hundred years of drills and pointless marches!" Jenkins snapped. "We want some of the good afterlife too!"
"Power to the people!" Flower called out. "Down with the man! On strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!"
"Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!" Baxter and Jenkins chanted along with Flower as they marched out of the room.
"Worst army ever," Nigel groaned.
"I know exactly how you feel," Isaac remarked.
"Having trouble with your troops Nigel?" Trevor couldn't resist twisting the knife.
"Oh, shut up you…" Nigel fumed. "Bare bottomed blunderbuss!" He stormed out of the room with Isaac following him.
"Oh, that was fun," Sasappis chuckled.
"It was," Trevor grinned. "And it's going to get even more fun." He got up.
"Where are you going?" Pete asked.
"To throw some gasoline on this fire," Trevor chuckled as he left the room.
Meanwhile in another room. "I can't believe my own men would disregard my orders like that!" Nigel was stunned. "Discipline has completely broken down!"
"I hate to say it Nigel but part of this is your fault," Isaac pointed out.
"WHAT?" Nigel snapped.
"You haven't spent any time with your troops since you moved into the house," Isaac paused. "Admittedly my idea but still…"
"You're saying this is my fault?" Nigel glared at him.
"You could have at least visited them during the day," Isaac pointed out. "Truth hurts sweetie."
"Damn it. You're right. I think I'd better spend more time with my troops," Nigel winced. "They're starting to get out of hand."
"That would be a good excuse to get out of Hetty's sight for a few days," Isaac winced.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Hetty's voice could be heard. "WHAT TOM FOOLERY IS THIS? AND YOU TWO! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU RABBLE ROUSERS!"
"LEAVING!" The two soldiers yelped in fear. The sounds of them running could be heard. "BACK TO THE SHED!"
"NIGEL!" Hetty roared. "NIGEL! WHAT SCHEMES ARE YOU HATCHING NOW YOU ODIOUS LITTLE TEAPOT?"
"In fact, I think it would be a very good idea for you to make yourself scarce," Isaac winced. "A week should do it."
"Definitely," Nigel gulped.