AN: Thanks for your kind messages!

Here's the next chapter. let's see if Bella will let go of her fears :)

Chapter 38

BPOV

I couldn't believe I had done that. I quickly fled the bar and made my way back to the club quickly, heading out the back of the bar to make sure the press wouldn't follow me. Harry had shown me the way getting in here and he assured me it was safe.

This was a passageway that was often used by the guys when they just wanted to wind down without the paps knowing about it. the passage was a well guarded secret between the club and the pub. I wouldn't be seen coming out of the bar. And when I left through the club's parking lot, it would just seem like I'd been there the entire time, going over post game. I would look like a dutiful owner.

So I walked briskly back to the club. I made sure I made a show of getting out of the entrance and then headed over to the taxistand out front. I hailed a cab quickly. Thankfully there were only a few reporters out here. Most were at the pub, documenting the celebration. Those that were here kept their distance, only snapping a few photo's of me hailing the cab and then getting in. They made no moves to follow and I exhaled in relief as the cab headed to my place.

I managed to keep myself mostly in check until I reached my apartment. As soon as the door closed after me though, the tears fell from my eyes.

I couldn't believe it. I had kissed Edward.

The kiss had been phenomenal. I had let myself feel for just once in my life, and before I'd known what I was doing my lips had been on his.

I couldn't believe it. I had kept him at arms length the entire time because I knew it wasn't smart to get involved with him. He was a player on my team. There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea. But nothing had been bad about that kiss. On the contrary… my lips were still tingling. Ever since he'd held me after the incident with the press, I'd found it harder and harder to ignore the attraction I felt for him. I could no longer deny that there was more than just friendship there. but my more rational mind rebelled strongly against it.

But that kiss… it had been mindblowing. And it had only been a kiss!

A sob escaped me and Jake came lumbering over, climbing into my lap, sensing I needed him. A moment later my bedroom door opened and Angela stuck her head out.

'Bella?' she asked in surprise. When she noticed the tears she was next to me in an instant. 'what's wong? What's happened?'

Through my sobs and tears I told her what had happened, how I'd completely lost all control of myself and kissed Edward, and that I'd liked it so much I had been too scared to face my feelings and fled from him, instead of just talking it through with him.

When I was finally done she looked at me for a moment. 'Bella..' she started, looking thoughtful. 'at the risk of sounding like I'm being a bitch… what the hell is wrong with you?'

I stared at her dumbfounded for a moment.

'You have been talking about Edward since you met him while out walking your dog. You've been going on and on about how amazing he is, how well he understands you, how he's always there for you. The worst happened already, the press published stories and guess what? Nothing happened.'

'Nothing happened?' I interjected incredulously. But she held up her hand to stop me.

'Let me finish. Nothing happened that damaged either of your reputations or careers, Bella. You like him. From what you've told me, he seems to like you too. What on earth are you so afraid of?'

I gaped at her for a moment. 'I'm… i.. I can't date him.'

'Why not?' she pushed.

'Because he's a player on my team!'

'okay… and?'

'And it's unprofessional!'

she shrugged. 'it would be if you slept with him and then traded him away. Or if he suddenly didn't show up to trainings anymore because he was too busy boiking you in the office. Or if you went through all of your players one after another.'

I gasped at hit her arm. 'I would never.'

'Exactly, Bella. You're an amazing business woman. You would do nothing to endanger either of your careers. Dating him doesn't need to endanger anything. You can keep it separate.'

'but what about Charlie?' I asked in a small whisper.

'What about him?' Angela asked softly. 'are you afraid he'd disapprove?'

I shrugged. But deep down I guess that was a the biggest fear I had.

'Charlie knew Edward, Bella. I'm guessing he wouldn't have hired him if he hated the guy. Now, I'm sure he would have pulled a protective dad move and given him a stern talking to, but Bella, your father just wanted you to be happy.' She took my hand in hers and squeezed it softly. 'Does he make you happy Bella?'

I thought about that for a moment. On days where I knew I'd see Edward I always felt a bit better. Whenever I saw a text from him my heart would make a little jump. I'd been deveasted when Leah said that we couldn't walk the dogs together anymore because those days were always days I looked forward to.

'Yeah he does.' I finally whispered, admitting it to myself for the first time.

'Then let go of your fears and just let yourself feel Bella. Enjoy it. You deserve to have someone in your life, that loves you and is there for you. Someone to take care of you.'

'It was just a kiss, Angela.' I rolled my eyes at her. 'no one's in love with anyone.'

'Aren't they?' she asked, cocking her brow at me.

'No!' I said vehemently, but something stirred in my chest and I started to doubt my own words.

Could it be that he had wormed his way into my heart, without me even noticing? No. No that couldn't be possible. I liked Edwrad. I cared for him, yes. But I couldn't love him, right? I didn't know him well enough for that. Angela must be crazy. Yeah, that was what I was going with.

Angela pulled me up from the floor. 'Come on. I'll leave it alone for now. Just promise me you'll think about everything I've said. And you have to call Edward tomorrow. You can't leave the poor boy hanging like this.'

I nodded and together we headed into my bedroom and got ready for bed.

An annoying ringing sound cut through my dream and I groaned, rolling over and slapping my hand on the night stand, trying to find the source of the noise.

'Bella' Angela's groggy voice scolded from next to me. 'pick up your damn phone.'

'I'm trying.' I answered just as sleepy. I finally grabbed my phone and blindly swiped at it.

'try harder.' Angela groaned, pulling the pillow on top of her head.

'It's eight in the morning. Who is even calling now?' I groused, finally managing to answer the phone. 'What?' I barked.

'Just what the hell do you think you're doing?' Alice's overly exciteable voice was not the voice I wanted screeching down my ear this early in the morning. I only had a few hours of sleep, for god's sake.

'Alice?' I asked, 'What are you talking about?'

'You kissed my brother and then left him?' she screeched.

'Oh… that.'

'yes. That.' She said. She sounded angry. And I guess I couldn't really blame her. 'I'm coming over.'

'Alice.'

'Don't you Alice me.' she snapped. 'I'm almost there. and I'm not leaving until we get this mess sorted out.'

I sighed down the phone and hung up not even bothering to argue further. There was no stopping Alice when she set her mind to something. I had learned that early on in our friendship. And I couldn't exactly blame her this time either. I had hurt Edward. She was completely within her rights to come over here and read me the riot act for it.

I heaved myself from the bed and nudged Angela. 'wake up. Alice is coming over.'

'why?' she groaned.

'To probably tear me a new one for hurting her brother.'

'Oh shit. Good for her.' Angela said, sitting up and giving me a wicked grin.

I rolled my eyes at her. 'can you walk Jake for me?'

She yanwed and nodded. 'yeah, sure. Just let me grab a shower first.'

I nodded. 'I'll put on some coffee.'

'thanks.'

I grabbed a sweatshirt and headed to the lving room, greeting Jake who was still lazing about on the couch. Then I busied myself getting coffee ready. When the pot was nearly done brewing, there was a knock at the door.

I sighed and steeled myself for a moment. This was not going to be pretty. Then I headed over and opened the door.

Ailce stood there, looking incredible like usual. I really wondered how she managed that this early in the morning. Especially while I still felt like death warmed up.

'Good morning.' I told her, trying to be friendly at least.

she didn't respond. She just pushed into the apartment. I sighed.

"do you want some coffee? It's a fresh pot.'

'No.' Alice said briskly.

Angela stepped into the room, greeting Alice briefly. Both girls shared a look and smiled at each other for a moment.

'I'll just take my coffee to go, and get jake.' Angela said. I nodded to her.

She quickly filled a travel mug and coaxed Jake off the couch and out the door with the promise of treats. When she was gone and the door closed after Alice was still just staring at me.

'So.' I said to try and break the awkward silence.

Alice sighed. 'Look. You know I love you. I really do. But you can't do this to my brother anymore.' The pain on her face and in her voice stunned me for a moment.

'what?' I asked shocked.

'He's been in love with you since that first time he saw you. He denies it, but I know it's true. But because my idiot brother somehow has this outdated code of chivalry in his head he's decided that he can't pursue you, which is ridiculous. But still. He's adamant and so he's just pining after you, hoping one day you'll change your mind. And then yesterday ýou kiss him and then you leave him? No. I can't just stand by anymore and watch. You have to chose.'

'Alice.' I said calmly. Though her words were overwhelming to me on more than one level. It also irked me that she was placing all of the blame on me. 'When I first met Edward I was clear to him that I was in no position to date. I told him that repeatedly. It's not on my shoulders that he couldn't take no for an answer and wanted to be around me anyway.'

her eyes flashed. But I held up my hand.

'I was grieving for my father. I still am, by the way.' I bit at her. 'you can be mad at me for yesterday, but that is all you can be mad for. I will not take responsibility for any supposed pain I put Edward through when I have told him repeatedly that I wasn't in any shape to date anybody.'

Her face fell slightly and she sat down on the couch. 'I didn't mean… I didn't mean to blame you like that.' She said softly. And when she looked up at me she had tears in her eyes. 'it's just… it hurts to see him like this, Bella. You should have seen him yesterday when you left. He was beside himself. He was worried that you'd left on your own, then he was worried he'd pushed you away. He's beating himself up over this and his heart is absolutely shattered, Bella.'

I rubbed my forehead. 'I'm sorry.' I whispered. 'I'm sorry I hurt him. that wasn't my intention'

'I know it wasn't, but I can't just stand by anymore. I can't let him get hurt over and over again. because he will absolutely pretend this never happened and still be the same Edward around you. He would kill me if he knew I was here.' She heaved a sigh. 'but he's my brother. And I won't stand by and let him be hurt any longer.'

I sat down next to her, looking at my hands. 'You're right. I'm not being fair to him. I shouldn't have run away like that. And I'm sorry for hurting him' I told her. 'Angela laid into me already too. She told me I was being stupid.'

'Why are you so hell bent against dating him?' alice asked curiously, the anger ahd faded from her voice and I was grateful for that.

I sighed and shrugged. 'fear. Mostly fear.' I admitted softly.

'of what?'

'of everything. The press, my reputation, the club.' I glanced at her. 'it's hard Alice. Doing this job is hard. I don't want to disappoint anyone.'

'And you think dating Edward will make you a disappointment?'

I shrugged.

She wrapped her arms around me instantly, holding me tightly against her. 'Bella. No one could ever think you are a disappointment. You're amazing. You've done so much for the club already. And you're amazing as a person. You're so strong. just look at everything you've managed to achieve. You're amazing Bella, honestly, you're my rolemodel.'

I gaped at her. 'Alice, we're the practically same age!'

'Exactly! And you're already so much more accomplished than I could ever hope to be!' she smiled at me. 'you're amazing. And you can do anything you set your mind to. Including dating my brother.'

'I…'

'please just give him a chance, Bella.' her puppy dog eyes were going full force.

'I want to… but… there's just so much to think about.'

'like?'

'like the press! And the team!'

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment but then her eyes lit up. 'oh! Let's call Leah!'

'Leah?' I asked incredulous. She nodded. 'why?'

'we can ask her opinion on what would happen. Or what the best way to tackle this would be.'

I frowned. But as I mulled it over, it didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

Alice was already bouncing on the spot. 'come on! call her now! let's do this. And then tonight. You can knock his socks off, once and for all.'

I shook my head at her exuberance, but there was a spark of hope igniting in my chest. If anyone would know how to go about this, it would be Leah. IF she told me it was an aboslutely horrible idea that would ruin both of us, then we'd finally have an answer and we could go back to just being friends... and if she said it were possible... well... I just had to wait and call her.

I pulled up leah's number and dialled it with shaking hands. I put it on speakerphone and placed the phone on the table in front of us. I chewd my nails nervously as the line rang.

'Bella.' Leah greeted. 'I was just about to call you. Congratulations on your win. This will surely make the press die down for a while.'

'Thanks Leah.' I smiled at her compliment.

'The press conference went great. I've only heard good things so far. So I'm spinning the story wider, if that's alright with you. we can probably ride this high until the next game and if they win that one it will only keep building. This will really help you.'

'That's great and all, but we actually called you for a different matter.' Alice cut in.

'Ah, sorry Leah, you're on speakerphone, and that was Alice Cullen.' I quickly explained.

'No matter. Good morning Alice.'

'Morning.'

'What did you want to speak to me about?' Leah asked.

'what would you say if Bella wanted to start dating a player?' Alice asked, seeing that I was having trouble forming the words.

It was silent for a beat. 'Dating a player.' Her voice gave nothing away.

'Yes. Just one. And probably long term.' Alice added, smiling at me.

I just chewed my nail some more.

'and would this player happen to be the same player that appeared next to her in a certain article a few weeks ago?'

busted.

'yes.' I said softly.

'Well fucking finally.' Leah muttered.

My mouth dropped open and alice let out a startled laugh.

'It was a PR time bomb continuing on like this. As long as you hide things the press will always find out and use it against you. if you come out into the open with it, they'll run with it for a while, but it loses it's mystery. And it's no longer fun for them. Now that you've won your first game, I see no reason to not come out and make a statement that you and Mr Cullen are involved. It will stop the speculation and give them one thing less to hold against you.'

'So it can only be positive?' alice asked, boucing on her feet.

'Well' Leah hedged. 'Not entirely. It is definitly not a bad thing. We can make it a good story, but it will cause some scrutiny. You will know some of it yourself, Alice, by dating jasper you were put onder a microscope. You're continuously questioned about mundane things. And you're watched like a hawk. But that's nothing new for Bella. The only thing that might change is that Edward might find himself under some more scrutiny as well. If he plays badly, it might lead to stories questioning if there's trouble at home. That sort of thing.'

'That's it?' Alice asked.

'It?' I asked incredulous; 'that sounds like more than plenty to me!'

'Oh Bella, please. You've already faced worse than that. And so has Edward!'

'I can't ask him to do this for me.'

'Bella' Leah's voice took on a gentler tone. 'listen to me. You can't live your life deciding matters for others because of some story the press might invent about them because of their ties to you. Rveryone that's in your life knows what you deal with. Everyone that choses to be there, does so of their own volition. It's their choice. They know what thye're signing up for.' She said calmly.

'But-'

'No, Bella.' She said sternly. 'it's their choice, not yours.'

'Exactly.' Alice said with a smile. 'And Edward deserrves to be involved in the descion'

'Okay.' I finally conceded. I owed it to Edward to at least let him chose if he wanted to face the press scrutiny to be with me. If he wanted to do this, than we owed it to each other to see where it could lead.

'What will happen if we do decide to date?' I asked Leah.

'We have a few options. We can put out a statement, you could do an interview, or you can just let the press find out the normal way, by being photographed together a lot.'

'which would you suggest?'

'Probably a statement.' She said. 'it fits your profile better and that way we can head off any speculation as to the timeline of your relationship.'

we went over some options and Leah promiosed to start making some drafts for statements and sent them over. I was to contact her as soon as I'd spoken to Edward and we'd made a desicion together about what we wanted to do.

When we finally hung up Angela had returned with Jake and was almost as excited as Alice when we'd filled her in on everything that happened.

'Alright then. Now that that's settled.' Alice clapped her hands together. 'Angela, we're going to need you to baby sit Jake again tonight. But first I need your help to get Bella ready for tonight. Operation knock my brother's socks off is a go!'