*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, faves, and reviews.

Couple Days Old

Jessa POV:

It's been a couple of days since I had my crudely done c-section and I hurt so bad. So bad that words couldn't even describe it. Tolbert has been out tending to the fields, but at least at night he tries to help me. I mean, of course I had to feed the baby, but he did pick Silas up out of the crib and pass him over to me a few times. It wasn't much, but I was thankful for any help that he was able to give considering he had to work the fields and make shine deliveries all day long. At least I only had to do things by myself during the day, which was hard, but manageable.

The medicine Doc left for me helped, but I didn't like to take too much of it cause it made me feel (for a lack of a better word) high. So, I just pushed thru my pain in order to take care of my son and tend to the house. By tending to the house all I really did was cook and wash diapers, but it was still house work. It had to get done and if I didn't do it who would? Nobody…

I was standing at my kitchen table making bread dough even tho the cut in my stomach was burning and hurt like a bitch. God, I wanted to just slump down in a chair and cry, but I couldn't cause the bread dough had to be made. We had to eat and buying a loaf of Wonder Bread wasn't an option (too bad right?...). So, I dusted the table top with some flour and placed the ball on dough on it. I sprinkled some more flour on top of the dough ball and then began to knead it.

I had just pressed my palm down into the dough to knead it and I felt a sharp pain where my stitches were, but since I didn't feel anything pop or leak, I just ignored it. I heard the backdoor (the one right behind me) open, but I didn't really think anything of it. I jumped, a bit startled out of my skin, as I heard a deep shout of, "What the fuck are you doing up, honey?!", sound out behind me as the door slammed shut.

Pausing in my kneading, I looked over my shoulder at the tall golden-brown haired and honey eyed man only to ask, "What're you doing here?"

"Doc came over the night our son was born and told me what happened. How he had to cut Silas Elliot out of ya, Jessa." Shaw revealed as he walked over to my side, clutching something behind his back. "I came over to see you and our kid, make sure ya'll are okay."

"Oh…" Trailed out of my mouth in long sigh. I didn't know that Doc knew the truth. I was also a bit surprised that he told Shaw about Silas' birth too. Shaw showing up tho to check up on me and the baby, now that was a real head spinner and took me for a loop.

Shaw gently placed a hand on the small of my back while softly telling me, "You shouldn't be on your feet making bread dough. You should be resting; healing up."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but if I don't make bread then it's not getting done."

He removed his hand from my back and pointed to an open chair at the table. "Sit down and I'll make the dough."

"What?" Flew out of my mouth in a whirl of sudden shock. Why would he want to make my bread dough for? Shaking my head, I told him, "No, you don't have to do that."

"Jessa, I want to help so just sit down and let me handle the dough." Shaw told me, taking his black Stetson off and placing it on the back of the chair he wanted me to sit in. He wanted to help, really? I wasn't expecting that. Feeling a bit dumbfounded, I just nodded and sat down. Honestly, I was relieved to be sitting down since my stomach was hurting from where the cut was at. Before he even touched the dough, Shaw took his hand out from behind his back to reveal that he was holding a quilt. Not just any quilt tho, but the blue and green baby quilt that I'd seen on the 4th of July. He held it out for me while gently smiling, "I got this for Silas. Thought it'd be nice for him."

"Thank you." I smiled, beyond thankful that Shaw had gotten the quilt that I loved for Silas, as I took the offered gift.

As if on cue, Silas began to cry. Before I could even stand up, Shaw told me, "I'll go change Silas; then bring him out to you for nursin'."

"Okay." I simply told him, feeling a bit shocked that he wanted to help me with the baby. Silently, I sat at my kitchen table, watching as Shaw walked over to my bedroom and went inside to change and get Silas.

Shaw POV:

As soon as I entered the bedroom and saw my son squirming and crying in his crib, I felt an overwhelming feeling of pride along with unconditional love for him. He was so small, but already looked so much like me with his tuft of golden-brown hair on his head. With a large smile on my face, I bent down and picked my boy up. Standing up straight and cuddling him in my arms, I cooed, "Hey, Silas, buddy, it's daddy." Walking over to the small changing table that was against the wall I continued to coo, "Yea, buddy, I'm your daddy." Silas just looked up at me with his baby blues, still crying since he was wet and hungry, but the way he blinked at me made me feel as if he understood what I was telling him. As if he just knew that I was his dad and not that redheaded fucker Jessa was slummin' it up with.

I placed my son on the changing table and quickly grabbed the cloth diaper, pins, and powder in order to perform the diaper change. Silas was squirming as I changed him, but thank god he didn't go rouge and piss on me. As he kicked his legs, I noticed that they were long and concluded that Silas would grow up to be tall like me. The fact that my boy was my spitting image put a smile on my face. "All done, now it's time to see mommy." I told my kid, picking him up after fastening the last pin to his diaper. Dear god, too bad we weren't in Tulsa right now cause I'd prefer disposable Pampers over these reusable cloth diapers any day.

Silas just whimpered and looked up at me, his eyes shining at the prospect of seeing his mom. As I placed him against my chest, lightly rubbing his back with my hand, I could feel my boy calming down. As I walked out of the bedroom and over to Jessa, who much to my relief was still sitting at the table, I felt a sudden need to reclaim and protect my family. My family being Jessa and our newborn, Silas.

"Here's mommy, buddy." I told my son as I placed him into Jessa's awaiting arms. As I dusted my hands into the flour, so I could knead the bread dough, Jessa unbuttoned the top of her dress (in my opinion she should be in bed in her shift, but jackass Tolbert wasn't helping at all and she was stuck being up and dressed) and began to nurse our baby. While kneading the dough, I tilted my head at Silas, who was eagerly feeding, while telling Jessa, "You know, us getting back together and working shit out'd be in his best interest."

"Shaw, we haven't been together in 9-months and I'm with Tolbert." Was her weak reply to my remark.

"Honey, he can sense that we're his parents and he needs us together."

"Shaw-" She began until I softly, but firmly, cut her off with, "Just hear me out before you flat out say no, okay?"

Jessa POV:

"Okay." I nodded with a sigh, fixing the top of my dress and arranging Silas over my shoulder for his burping.

As I patted Silas gently on the back, burping him, I watched Shaw knead the bread dough with skillful movements as his deep, but unbending tinted timbre filled up the air with, "Tolbert's an alcoholic and I'm certain once he goes on a bender, he'll take his resentment and anger out on Silas. Silas Elliot is my son, he's even in a way named for me, and Tolbert's not going to accept that." Silas let out a tiny burp, causing me to remove him from my shoulder and cradle him, as Shaw told me in a certain tone, "No matter how hard he tries to convince you he's okay with raising him, he'll never be okay with it."

I didn't want to hear what he was saying, but I did agree to hear him out. Shaw telling me that Tolbert would end up rejecting and resenting Silas upset me; scared me too. Just the thought of my son growing up feeling unwanted by his father was heartbreaking. I knew that biologically Tolbert wasn't Silas Elliot's dad, but in name he was since he agreed to raise him as his own. I didn't like thinking that there was a chance that what Shaw was saying was true.

"My step-dad Peter was a drunk. He functioned enough to work at his butcher shop, but goddamnit when he went on a bender, I was his target." Shaw told me, his honey eyes flaring with hate for the late Peter Eldridge, as he pressed down a bit harder on the dough he was kneading. His voice took on a detached tone as he told me, "I was 3-maybe-4 when Peter first hit me. I remember it so vividly. My mom made apple pie and I wouldn't eat anymore then a bite so Peter made me sit and stare at it for hours. Whenever my eyes started to droop, he yelled at me and shoved my face into the piece of pie. After that he flung me to the ground and walked away."

My eyes went wide from what I just heard. "What did your mom do?" I asked before he could say anything else.

"Nothing, she was screaming at him to leave me alone, but she didn't try to stop him." Really, Peggy didn't lift a finger to protect her toddler? She just let her husband smash his head into a pie and toss him to the ground while crying, what kind of mother was she? "Growing up, every time Peter went on a bender I got smacked. When my mom had a miscarriage, I got beat. When my younger siblings, the ones I had before Todd and Mary, got sick and died he took his anger and grief out on me by beating me." Shaw revealed, his voice hard, but ready to crack, while finishing with the dough. "I was nearly 12 when he beat me for the last time. He cornered me in his shop and whipped me with his belt so hard I thought he was gonna take my eye out." Shaw told me, his voice cracking like an egg, while placing the bread dough into a bowl and putting a towel on it so it could rise

Looking at him as he took a seat next to me, I asked in the softest tone I could muster, "That's why you went to modern day Tulsa with Sully isn't it?"

"Yea." Shaw nodded, his hair lightly ruffling around his shirt collar. "Sully saw me shortly after that beating and told my mom he was taking me back with him since she wasn't doing a good job of protecting me from Peter."

"You think Tolbert's going to turn out to be like Peter was?"

"I don't think it, honey, I know it. It's not a matter of if, just a matter of when."

Looking between Silas and Shaw, I firmly declared, "I'd never let anyone hurt my son. I'd fight tooth and nail for him."

Shaw placed a hand on my shoulder while gently telling me, "But, honey, you shouldn't ever be put into the position where your man's pitted against your son. Where you have to pick one over the over." His honey eyes locked onto the baby boy I was cuddling to my chest as he reached his other hand out, gently petting our son on the head. "Jessa, with me you won't have to choose since I'm Silas' daddy."

"I know, Shaw." I sighed out, my voice cracking with all kinds of emotions. What he said really affected me. He was right, if we got back together, I'd never have to worry about him rejecting or resenting my son cause he wasn't just mine, but was ours.

Shaw's honey brown eyes drifted up to lock onto my indigo blues, love and tenderness shining in them, as he told me, "Jessa, honey, I love you and Silas so much; I want us to be a real family for him."

"You really want to raise him together?"

"Yes, of course I do. Hell, I'm already raising my siblings so raising our son won't be that big of a deal." He assured me as his thumb gently rubbed circles into my shoulder.

I chewed on my bottom lip, mulling over everything. I was weighing my options, trying to figure out which one was the best for me and Silas. On one hand Tolbert's been good to me and in the last 9-months I've come to love him; he's taken on the role of father to my son so that I could have him without the shameful unwed mother status. But (a very important but too) what if Tolbert can't handle raising Silas as his? He did get moody at Easter time, even admitted that he was struggling with not being Silas' biological father. On the other hand, Shaw was chomping at the bit for a chance to be a family with me and our son. He seemed excited about fatherhood; wanted to help me raise Silas. I never told him I was pregnant for fear that he wouldn't believe the baby was his or wouldn't want to be a dad, but it seems I was wrong and he was ready to settle down with me; raise Silas. Like I said, I had a lot to think over. I had to make a choice, a hard one too, but I had to do what was in Silas Elliot's best interest.

Coming up with the decision that was the best for my son, I told Shaw, "I'll go with you and we'll raise Silas together."

"As much as I want to bring you home with me today, I can't risk you being jostled in a wagon after having been cut open a couple days ago." Shaw told me, stilling his hand my shoulder, before giving me a soft smile and going on to say, "I promise, I'll bring you home to my house in a few weeks whenever you're fully healed up and able to travel." His hand fell from Silas' head and drifted to his back. He gently patted our son before placing a hand on my cheek and leaning in for a soft peck on my lips. Leaning his forehead against mine, Shaw told me, "I gotta get going to work at my livery, but I'll be by 'round the same time tomorrow to see you and Silas."

"Okay." I simply told him before he pulled his forehead away from mine.

Shaw just gave me a heartfelt smile before standing up from the table and grabbing his hat from my chair. Silently, he placed his hat on his head before grabbing the baby quilt from my lap and opening it up. Gently drapping the quilt over our son, he cooed, "I got that for ya, buddy. Yea, daddy got you a quilt." As I gently tucked the quilt around Silas, Shaw told me, "Bye, honey."

"Bye." I told him, causing him to just give me a ghost of a smile before walking out of my back door.

After Shaw left, I ended up tucking Silas back into his crib (after wrapping him up like a burrito in his new quilt) so that he could get some sleep. One the bread dough had risen I plopped it into a pan and baked it. Much to my relief, the bread came out great. Hell, Shaw was one hell of a bread dough kneader that's for sure. I half expected it to be overworked, but it wasn't. It was actually done perfectly. I managed to make my way to the smokehouse to grab some meat for a stew, even tho my side hurt. I cut up a few potatoes, onions, and celery stalks and tossed them into the stew for the veggie element. I didn't actually clean the house, just made sure that if anything was dusty it got dusted since I didn't want my son getting an allergy attack or something from dirt floating in the air.

I was resting on the sofa whenever Tolbert came home, looking like a tired and sweaty mess. "Baby sleepin'?" He asked, taking his hat off and hanging it on the wall hook by the door, as I got up from the sofa and made my way into the kitchen.

"Yea, he's sleeping." I told my common law husband, who wouldn't be that for long, as I opened up the cabinet the bowls and dishes were in.

Tolbert didn't say anything, just walked over to the table and took his seat at the head of it. Silently, I went over to the stove with a bowl in my hand. As Tolbert waited for me to feed him, I couldn't help, but feel a bit guilty as I scooped some stew into the bowl I was tightly holding. I had agreed to be his common law wife so that he'd help me raise Silas, but here I was secretly making plans with Shaw earlier in the day for us to get back together in a few weeks once I was fully healed. Tolbert had no clue that his days with me were numbered as he took his flask out of his shirt pocket, placing it on the table so he'd be able to drink his shine for dinner.

God, I was a horrible wife, but I had to think about what was best for my son. Shaw was right, Silas having both of his blood parents together would be best. Especially since it'd be hard to hide his paternity as he grew. Hell, he was only a couple days old and was Shaw's spitting image. In a few years…

After filling up the bowl to the tip top I walked over to the table to serve it. "Stew smells good, darlin'." Tolbert told me as I set his bowl in front of him.

"Thank you." I simply replied before going off to fix myself a bowl of stew.

"Get anythin' done today?" Tolbert asked while slicing himself a piece of bread from the loaf setting on a wooden board in the middle of the table. Hell, wonder if he'd eat it if he knew who helped knead it? Eh, prolly not.

I quickly placed a few scoops of stew into my bowl while replying with, "I made bread and stew."

"But did ya clean the house?" He asked me around his first mouthful of stew, as I made my way over to the table.

Sitting down, I honestly told him, "No, I was too busy taking care of Silas."

"Hmm…" The redhead hummed out, dipping his bread into his stew and taking a bite of it.

I didn't like his hmm…, it felt like he was giving me a failing grade or something for taking care of a fussy baby (while stitched and hurting) instead of deep cleaning his house. Cutting him a look with my indigo eyes, I cut myself a slice of bread while asking, "What does hmm…mean, Tolbert?"

"Nothin', just thought you'd get more then cookin' dinner done's all." He had the balls to tell me before shoving another spoonful of pork stew into his mouth.

"I got cut open two days ago, Tolbert. I'm so sorry that I can't fly around the house like a fairy and clean it spotless from top to bottom." I heatedly snapped before eating some of my stew.

Tolbert's nostrils flared and his face turned beat red with rage. Pointing his spoon at me, he seethed, "Don't throw bein' cut up at me. Yer the one that ordered Doc t'do it instead of havin' him consult me on what t'do 'bout that birth."

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Doc, it's my body and my baby so I'll be making my own choices; not you."

Tolbert rolled his stormy eyes at my remark. Clearly, he didn't like it. A smug look crossed over his face as he announced, "But yer my wife so I got say over ya."

"I'm your common law wife, Tolbert, but you don't own me so get that out of your head right now." I firmly told him since I had no intentions on being controlled.

"I nev'r said I owned ya, darlin'. Just meant that as yer husband it's my right t'make medical decisions when yer in distressed." His velvet gruff voice rung out, trying to smooth over the situation. Before I could utter a word of protest, a knock sounded at the door. Dropping his spoon in his bowl and standing up, Tolbert announced gruffly, "I'll get it." I just nodded, shoving a spoonful of my stew into my mouth. Hey, if he wanted to go get the door then I wasn't going to stop him.

As soon as Tolbert opened the door, I heard Jefferson's slur of a timbre loudly say, "Hey, cuz, we heard 'bout the bad birth."

"We came over to see how Jessa and the baby are fairin'." I heard Nancy say in her sickly sweet voice as she and her brother walked into the house.

"We're fairing just fine, Nancy." I told my cousin-in-law from my place in the kitchen.

"Oh, my good lord, I expected ya to be in bed restin' up from such a severe operation; not sittin' at the table ettin' dinner." The black-haired beauty said in an overly fake concerned tone as he walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"Well, since Tolbert's got to work, I don't have a choice, but to haul my ass out of bed and cook." I countered as Tolbert and Jefferson joined us in the kitchen; sitting down at the table.

Jefferson didn't say a word to me, just picked up the bread knife and hacked himself off a large slice of bread. His sister on the other hand, well she just had the perfect reply for me. An overly fake smile crossed over her face as she told me in a too sweet tone, "Oh…well, if you need any help I can always come by and see if I can lend a helping hand."

"That'd be nice, Nancy." Tolbert told his cousin as a way of letting her know that he accepted her offer.

"No, Nancy, I don't need any help. I've been doin' fine on my own for the last couple of days so I can keep managing." I edgily told Nancy, causing her black eyes to slightly widen with shock at being told off.

I had nothing against Nancy McCoy, but after being in Kentucky for over a year I've figured out that her overly sweet nature was actually fake; that she was more bitter then a grapefruit underneath all her smiles and sugary words. I also knew from reading my history book that she backstabs Roseanna (her cousin and supposed best friend) by marrying Johnse in a plot to retain information on the Hatfields in order to get revenge on them. Yep, she wasn't somebody I'd want to be my bff. She was somebody to keep an eye on tho. I was nice to her, but I didn't trust her. I think that's because of what I read about her tho… I was very close friends with Roseanna and wouldn't mind her coming by to help me. Roseanna's sweetness was real, she was very nice and I adored her.

As if my son could sense I needed saving from my unwanted house guests, he started to cry. "That's my cue to go feed Silas." I told everyone as I stood up from the table. Quickly, without another word, I rushed over to my room to take care of my son.

Tolbert POV:

Jessa stood up from the table an' hurried to our room to feed Silas. Jefferson seemed t'be oblivious t'my wife's foul mood, but Nancy sure in hell weren't. Cockin' her head at me, she remarked, "See she's recoverin' into a real bitch." Shaking her head, my cousin added, "All I did was offer t'help and she jumped down my throat."

I gave Nancy a sympathic look 'fore tellin' her, "It ain't nothin' 'gainst ya, Nance. We were fightin' 'fore ya'll showed up."

Nancy shook her head at me 'fore sighin', "Already fightin' a couple of days after your son's birth? Oh, cousin that's not good."

"Jessa's a good baker. This bread's really good." Jefferson told me as he nibbled on his piece of bread.

"Yea…" I nodded, in my own way agreein' that my wife was a good baker. Well, Jessa was actually a good cook all 'round.

Nancy gave her brother a slight side-eyed look 'fore tellin' him, "Jefferson, I think we better get goin'."

"Why, we just got 'ere?" Jefferson 'tween chewin' on his mouthful of bread.

"Tolbert needs some time alone wit' Jessa to work out whatever they're fightin' 'bout." My cousin told her brother in a tight tone as she stood up.

"See ya later, cuz." Jefferson told me, standin' up as his sister made her way towards the door.

Nancy stood wit' the door open, waitin' for her bother t'get ov'r t'her. "We'll be by 'gain in a few days for a dinner visit. That should give Jessa some time t'calm down." She told me with a thin smile right as Jefferson reached her side.

"That'll be fine, Nancy." I told her 'fore she walked out of my house, her brother followin' right 'hind.

Less then a second after Jefferson slammed the door shut 'hind him, Silas began t'cry his lungs off. Well, since Jessa's gonna be busy wit' settlin' Silas down, I better just finish ettin' my stew supper. Damn, that boy sure does wail loudly when he cries. Shit, wonder if he's a whiner cause he's sired by that shady Vance bastard. God knows all that shifty bastard's done since he's heard 'bout me an' Jessa's been whine an' bitch, attack me in church too. Lord, I pray Silas don't get too many traits from that Vance bastard. I don't know how I'll deal wit' it if he does.

An ear splittin' cry tore thru the air as I ate a spoonful of stew. Sweet Jesus, I'm gonna get a headache by time I'm done ettin'. I scooped out some more stew as another cringe worthy wail echoed out from the room nearby. "Jessa, settle him down already! I've worked hard t'day, don't need no headache from a cryin' baby!" I shouted at my wife, hopin' she'd work faster at calmin' the baby down.

The bedroom door flung open an' Jessa stormed outta it, a cryin' Silas cradled 'gainst her chest. Stoppin' right in front o'me she snapped, "You're a piece of shit, Tolbert. Yelling at me to shut Silas up when you know he's most likely colic." Her indigo eyes turned into hard black slits as she looked at me. "You know I need help, but you're too worried about eating your damn dinner to help me."

"Jessa, I gotta et. I'm hungy from workin' all day." I told her as she slightly swayed back an' forth, attemptin' to soothe the baby in her arms.

Jessa didn't say a word, just shook her head 'fore stormin' off to our bedroom. The door shut tightly, but quietly, since she most likely didn't wanna give Silas 'nother reason t'be cryin'. Great, looks like I just pissed her off. Hell, wonder if poppy an' mama ev'r had any spats after havin' a newborn. Hmm, I'm gonna have t'ask him come Sunday dinner.

AN:

Something will be going down in either in the next chapter or the one after that stops Jessa from getting back together/moving in with Shaw. Any guesses as to what it is? Tolbert'll adjust to fatherhood in time. Anyways, Allie will be having her and Cap's baby for sure in the next chapter. Yay!