*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, faves, and reviews.

WARNING!: LEMONS! LEMONS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN FORESEEN BY SOME OF YOU…SOMEBODY'S DRY SPELL IS OFFICALLY OVER…

Fatherhood

Allie POV:

A few days had gone by since Olga took Lydia and ran away from Shaw's toxicity and harmfulness. I reckon she's halfway to San Francisco by now. I wholeheartedly wish her the best of luck. I know without a doubt that my husband does too. I only wish that I would've realized I was late sooner, then I could've told Olga before she left so she could be happy for me; given me kind words of friendship too. Yes, that's right, I'm pregnant again. By a couple of months if my calculations are right (which of course they are, haha.) So, I'll be birthing a baby sometime after Easter, which is wonderful. Me and Cap weren't necessarily trying for a baby, but we weren't being careful either since he never once pulled out. We just made love as a married couple, not worried about getting pregnant since we were married and fine with having as many children as we were blessed to get.

Since Thanksgiving was less then a week away, I knew I had to tell Cap our wonderful news so that he wouldn't be taken by surprise when I announced it at the holiday dinner table over turkey and fixings. Talk about my husband, he was sitting at our kitchen table sipping on his morning coffee while our son was still asleep up in his room. I was at the stove scrambling up some eggs to go with the toast and bacon I made (which was on platters setting on the table). Looking over my shoulder, I gave me husband a ghost of a smile, while telling him, "Something dawned on me the other day."

"What's that darlin'?" Cap asked, looking at me as he held his cup midair.

"Oh, I'm a couple months late." I said nonchalantly, giving the eggs a few quick stirs to finish them.

Cap set his coffee cup down a slight thud. "What? We're expectin' 'gain?" He asked, most likely to confirm what I'd just said.

"Yes, sometime after Easter, but I still need to get it confirmed by Doc." I told him while transferring the eggs onto the platter that was on the counter next to the stove.

"I'm happy, Allie." Cap honestly told me; a large joyful grin spread over his ruggedly handsome face. "Reckon it's 'bout time Captain W. got a brother or sister anyhow." My husband remarked while I brought the eggs platter over to the table.

"Yes, reckon so, but with how frisky you are I think we'll be giving him siblings every other year or so." I joked, sitting down next to my husband after placing the platter into the table next to the other ones.

"Hey, I don't hear ya complainin' none." Cap chuckled as he started to fix up his plate.

I too began to fix up my plate, while smirking, "And you won't, Cap. I'm quite fine with your sexual nature."

Cap let out a chuckle before telling me, "Looks like we're announcin' our news next week at dinner, huh."

While buttering my biscuit I let out a simple, "Yep."

"Family could use some good news." Cap remarked before eating a forkful of eggs. Pointing his fork at the yellow pieces of fluff on his plate, he chuckled, "Don't tell mama, but your eggs are better then hers."

Shaking my head and biting back a smile, I assured my ruggedly handsome man, "I won't tell her." Before I could eat some more of my biscuit, Captain W. started a chant of, 'Mama, Papa, Mama, Papa!" from upstairs in his room. "Looks like the big brother's up and hungry." I remarked, placing my barely touched biscuit onto my plate.

"Better go get him." Cap shrugged, happily eating his scrambled eggs.

Jessa POV:

Things between me and Tolbert are still a bit tense. Not too much, but enough that I know he's still upset and disappointed with me. The lovemaking between us seemed, I dunno, a bit mechanical. As if it was just something we were doing out of habit; not out of desire. Even him cuddling me, spooning me didn't feel the same as it used it. It was like his touch wasn't as soft as it used to me. His touch was more or less careful, as if he didn't want to have his calloused hands on me too long. The tension wasn't just in the bedroom tho. It seemed like all of our conversations were clipped or were only based around things like is dinner ready, I'm making deliveries today, I'm giving a neighbor down yonder a hand, don't go nowhere, etc.

At least Tolbert was trying with Silas. When I say trying what I mean is he let him sit on his lap while he sat in his armchair playing solitaire or resting with his head back, attempting to nap. Reckon that's as hands on as Tolbert's going to get with Silas. I should be grateful about it, but deep down I wasn't. I couldn't explain why, other then I just felt that my son deserved better than what he was getting (which seemed to be the bare minimum).

Currently, I was finishing up cooking breakfast while Tolbert was in our bedroom getting dressed (or at least I hope he was and wasn't sleeping since he had work to do today). Silas was still fast asleep, but I knew that he'd be up soon tho. As I scooped the scrambled eggs onto the serving platter, I heard the bedroom door creak open accompanied by Tolbert's boots echoing against the floor. Looking over my shoulder at him, I thinly smiled, "Good morning, Tolbert."

"Mornin'." He gruffly replied, walking over to the table and taking a seat. "Bacon, eggs, an' biscuits 'gain." Tolbert remarked in a slightly smartass type of tone while grabbing a mug and the coffee pot from the middle of the table.

"Never heard you complain about what I made for breakfast before." I told him, going over to the table and placing the platter of eggs down next to the platters full of bacon and biscuits.

"I ain't complainin'." Tolbert denied the intent of his previous remark, grabbing some bacon and putting it on the plate set in his spot as I took my seat. "Oh, I forgot to tell ya somethin' I heard when doin' some patchwork for Mr. Benson's barn yes'day." Tolbert informed me in his smoothly gruff tone while we were making up our breakfast plates. "Turns out last Sunday the Vance Bastard's woman done gone run off wit' their baby."

"What? You mean Olga left Shaw and took Lydia with her?" I asked, a bit shocked, while grabbing the coffee pot and topping off my cup that was near my plate.

"Yep." Tolbert popped out before eating a piece of bacon. "Seems like he's finally gettin' some hell served on 'im. Bastard deserves t'suffer." Tolbert told me with an amused chuckle tied to his words while I placed the coffee pot onto the table, grabbing my biscuit off my plate.

"Tolbert, don't say that. You're being mean." I chastised the redhead before nibbling on my biscuit.

"I ain't bein' mean, just bein' truthful." My moody redhead defended his previous words before finishing up his slice of bacon. Shaking his head, he remarked, "After all the hell he's put us thru it's 'bout time he's tastin' it."

Unlike Tolbert, I felt bad for Shaw. I knew how much he loved Lydia, her being taken from him must be devastating. I know that if anything ever happened to Silas I'd be devastated. Cutting my eyes at my husband, I chastised his snarkiness with, "Don't make fun of a grieving father, Tolbert. You wouldn't want to be in his shoes, would you?"

"I ain't ever gonna be in that dumb bastard's shoes." Tolbert chuckled before taking a bite out of his biscuit. Pointing his biscuit at me, he warned, "Don't even think 'bout makin' stew for dinner, Jessa."

I knew what he meant; he didn't want me bringing Silas to see Shaw. Well, maybe he shouldn't have told me about Shaw's hardship if he didn't want me bringing Silas to visit him; help cheer him up.

When I arrived at Shaw's livery office I was met with the Sorry, we're closed sign hanging in the window. I wasn't surprised tho, not after hearing what I did from Tolbert at breakfast. I knew he must've been upset and needed time off to deal with his grief. I should've just gone home, but I was worried about Shaw (since learning Olga took his daughter, Lydia, and skipped town) and decided to go pay him a visit at his house since I vaguely remembered the directions he gave me years ago before his mother died. I knew how much Lydia meant to him and for some reason I felt like I needed to make sure he was okay and to reassure him that I'd never keep Silas from him.

When I pulled up to Shaw's house I was in awe by how nice it looked. A large corral was in the front yard while a few yards behind it was a large two-story house that had to have at least 4-bedrooms in it. A large wrap around porch also framed the house and a barn was a few yards to it's left. The barn was huge too, double the size of the ones I've seen in the Tug area. Also, a large chicken coop and a pig pen was visible behind the large barn. I knew that Shaw built the house since that's how things worked during this time period, but I had no idea he had such a keen eye for architecture. Goddamnit, Shaw's house made the one Tolbert built look like a shack.

After parking my wagon, I balanced Silas on my hip and climbed down. Swiftly, I made my way over to the porch. After walking up the porch steps I went to the front door and knocked on it. After a minute or so the door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled Shaw wearing work gloves. I could see from over his shoulder that the kitchen was a complete wreck. Either he was remodeling or he tore it up in his grief. He didn't say a word, just looked at me with shock in his honey eyes.

"I heard about what happened with Olga and Lydia. I was worried about you; decided bring Silas to see you." I honestly told him as I stood on the threshold, feeling his eyes boring into me.

He didn't say a word, just scooped Silas up. Holding him tightly against his chest, I could swear that I could see his eyes water. "Come in, honey." Shaw moved aside, giving me room to enter the house. "I'm sorry 'bout the kitchen. I need to redo it since I fucked it up after being told Lydia got kidnapped by Olga."

"Who told you?" I gently asked as we made our way over to the sitting area in the main room.

"Sully. My siblings got him when they couldn't wake me up." Shaw told me as we both took a seat on the sofa. "We were in the kitchen when he told me so…" Shaw sighed, taking off his rawhide work gloves and tossing them onto the coffee table.

"So, you destroyed your kitchen in grief." I pointed out in a knowing tone, my eyes drifting towards the kitchen that looked like a tornado hit it.

"Yea…"

"I only just found out this morning, but I'm sorry. I also want you to know that I'll never keep Silas rom you."

"I know you wouldn't do that, Jessa." Shaw softly told me as Silas attempted to climb down from his daddy's lap. Looking between our son and a wooden playpen nearby (one that was handcrafted and looked like a lot of thought was put into it), Shaw said, "I better put him in the playpen. I don't want him runnin' into the kitchen and getting' hurt."

"Okay." I nodded while Shaw stood up from the sofa, our son perched on his hip.

As he walked over to the playpen, I subtly took in the décor of the living room. It seemed simple and cozy. It was a room that was definitely lived in. A large bookshelf (one that was much larger then the one at my house) was in a corner near the fireplace. It was filled with books, toys, and a couple of board games. The mantle on the fireplace had a few framed photographs on it. One was a black and white senor portrait of Shaw (I recognize it from the yearbook) so I'm guessing either Shaw or Sully gave it to Peggy. Another one I noticed was of Peggy and Sully when they were younger, most likely when they started courting. Not one picture of Peter Eldridge was on that mantle, but considering what I knew about him and Shaw's hostile step-father/son relationship I'm not surprised. One picture that made me misty eyed was a portrait of Shaw sitting on a chair holding Lydia, who was in a frilly dress. The picture looked relatively new, like it was taken a month or so ago.

"There's a photographer in Charleston. If it ain't too much trouble, I'd like to have a picture of Silas on my mantle." Shaw told me, taking a seat next to me after placing our son into the nearby playpen.

Looking at him, I assured, "It's not too much trouble."

His just nodded, his honey eyes softly locking onto my indigo ones. Time felt like it was standing still as we looked at each other. In one swift moment, Shaw's hands framed my face as he kissed me with a raw emotion fueling it. I should've push him off since I was Tolbert's common law wife, but I didn't. I didn't even know why, but I reciprocated Shaw's kiss. After days of intimacy feeling mechanical, I finally had something that felt more, that felt real, raw, and tangible. As our lips nipped and tugged at one another's, one of my hands became tangled in his head of lush golden-brown hair while the other hand rested on his chest. His thumb grazed my cheekbone while his other hand was on the crook of my neck.

Shaw ran his tongue along my bottom lip, motioning that he wanted to deepen our sudden and raw kiss. Without thinking, I parted my lips and granted him the permission he was seeking. As our tongues dances together, he let out a small throaty groan while maneuvering me to straddle his lap. As our kissing got even deeper and heated (if that was even possible) I good feel him growing hard beneath me. Oh god…

Suddenly, he broke our kiss. As I was catching my breath, Shaw began to place open mouth kisses along my jaw and down my neck moving his hands up and down my sides, brushing the sides of my breasts every now and then. My breathing got shallow as I felt heat begin to pool around my legs. Oh god… As he trailed kisses to my collarbone, I grasped his hair and his shoulder tightly while biting my lip as I felt a wet ache in my core.

Shaw stopped his trail of kisses and looked up at me, his honey eyes glazed over with passion and desire. "Jessa, honey, I need you."

It's sad to say, but all thoughts of Tolbert had left my mind at the moment. The only thing I could think about was the way Shaw was making me feel, which was heated and wanted. "Make love to me, Shaw." I told him breathily.

Shaw gave me a quick kiss before standing up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and walking over to his bedroom (that was on the other side of the messy and semi-trashed kitchen). He opened his door, walked inside of his room, and kicked the door shut before walking across the room to his bed. Gently, he laid me on his mattress. Shaw smirked, gave me a quick, but heated kiss, and then untucked my blouse from my skirt and pulled it off of me.

He went to kiss me, but I stopped his by pulling back slightly, giving him a smile, and beginning to unbutton his shirt. Shaw's eyes were trained on my nibble fingers as I made quick work of opening his shirt. When I pushed it off of him I was slightly taken aback when I saw that he wasn't wearing a long-john shirt. The last time I saw him shirtless it was in the middle of the night, unlike now. My indigo eyes roamed over his muscular upper body, taking in how defined his muscles were. Oh my god, did he get those muscles from doing chores and working with livestock or was he just blessed.

Shaw's lips pressed against the crook of my neck, nipping and sucking as my eyes noticed a faint silver lined scar, no more then 3-inches long, right by his right hip. Suddenly, the story Brenton told my on Sunday came to the forefront of my mind. Oh my god, Shaw's the one that got stabbed… I never noticed any scars on Tolbert in all the times I've been with him, so I should've known that Shaw was the one to get hurt all those years ago, but I suppose I just didn't think much about it. Perhaps I didn't want to believe that Tolbert could actually stab somebody and try to kill them over money he lost playing poker. I knew about what happens at election day in 1862, but the way the history book had it written makes it seem like a fight gone bad (but now I can't help thinking that maybe it's not as cut and dry as that).

Shaw stopped sucking and nibbling on my neck whenever I brushed my fingers gently over the scar by his hip. His honey eyes locked onto my indigo ones as he told me, "Tolbert tried to gut shank and kill me when we were kids cause he was a sore loser."

"Well, reckon we both have our scars then." I told Shaw with a small smile, down playing the severity of his scar.

"Yea, but yours is more like a badge of strength, proof of what lengths you'll go thru to protect our kid." He told me, placing his hands on my hips and tugging my tartan skirt down my legs.

"It's quite an ugly badge of strength. It's jagged and large." I remarked while Shaw took my boots and knee-high stockings off, tossing them over his shoulder.

"Babe, I don't care how the scar looks." Shaw told me, sitting on the edge of the bed while taking off his boots and socks. Standing up and removing his jeans, he added in, "You and our son both survived a dangerous procedure, I'm glad all that came out of that was a scar." I just nodded at him as he kneeled on the bed between my legs. He waggled his brows while grabbing the hem of my shift. "Now, where were we?" He playfully smirked, pulling my shift off of me. Shaw's honey eyes roamed over my body, hungrily taking in the sight of my naked flesh. His tongue darted out of his mouth slightly only to lick his lips. "Goddamnit, you're beautiful, honey."

I nodded, a slight blush fanning across my cheeks. "Well, you're pretty hot yourself." I told Shaw as a way to get the limelight off of me. I wasn't used to being stared at while naked by him. I mean the way he was looking at me, with a fiery desire, was unlike that way Tolbert looks at me.

"Yea, I know." Shaw smirked, shrugging his shoulders before closing the distance between us and kissing me.

Right after I placed my hands on him, one in his hair and one on his shoulder, he broke our kiss only to pepper kisses along my jawline and down my neck. He trailed kisses down the valley of my breast while cupping and massaging my breasts in his large calloused hands. My breath hitched as he twirled his tongue around one of my pink peaks while rubbing the pad of his thumb over the other. Oh lord, he's so good at this. Why's he so good at foreplay? God, this is some of the best foreplay I've had in a long time.

After repeating his attentions to my other breast, he kissed a trail down to my belly button. He moved a few inches to where my jagged c-section scar was and placed a kiss on it before tracing it gently with his thumb. His actions shocked me since Tolbert never touched or paid any attention to the scar, to him it was just there and he kind of avoided it.

My breathing got shallower as Shaw's head disappeared between my thighs. He placed a few kisses on the inside of my thighs before inhaling my scent and letting out a groan. A surprised low moan fell from my lips as I felt Shaw's tongue swipe up my wet folds, flicking my swollen bud. "Oh, god, Shaw…" I mewled as he repeated his actions in a languid manner.

"Just relax and enjoy the ride." He murmured against my skin, causing me to just nod and tightened my grip in his hair.

After a few minutes he added his fingers to the mix, causing me to come undone with a shaky moan of, "Shaw…Oh god, Shaw…"

My chest was heaving up and down as Shaw stood up. Quickly, he pulled his long-john pants off, freeing his very hard and endowed member (holy shit was it that big my first time with him too?). He rejoined me on the bed, taking his place between my thighs. "Jessa, honey, this ain't gonna be quick." Shaw told me as he lined himself up with my heat.

"I know." I simply told him.

While pressing into me, Shaw captured my lips in an intoxicating kiss. Once in which I could taste the tanginess of myself on his lips. Well, that's something I've never experienced before… Shaw broke out kiss only to rest his forehead against mine, letting out a pleased and satisfied sigh as he bottomed out. After a minute or so he began to move, rocking his hips in a rhythm that created long, but deep thrusts. Hell, this was totally different then our first time. This time felt more passionate and rawer compared to before which felt a bit rushed and hesitant.

We were tangled up in each other, our sweat slick skin pressed together, as we moved as one. Every movement we made seemed to cause us to see stars. After a while our love making ended with us panting and moaning each other's names.

We were cuddled in his bed together, the flat sheet draped over us, as we shared a cigarette in our afterglow. A waft of smoke flew out of Shaw's mouth as he told me, "Jessa, honey, I think you need to stay here with me."

"What? But, Shaw, you know I'm with Tolbert." I told him, snatching the smoldering cigarette from his hand. Yea…I wasn't really worried about Tolbert whenever I was making love to Shaw, but I guess I can just write that off as emotional weakness.

"Honey, you're with him, but he's a piece of shit. Tolbert won't do right by Silas, not like I will, and deep down you know it's true." He told me while I took a drag off of our shared smoke. He took the cigarette from me (since I was handing it back to him) while telling me, "Hell, Jessa, after seeing my scar how can you trust that Tolbert won't hurt him cause he hates me?" Looking between the orange glowing end of the cigarette and me, he pressed on with, "He wanted me dead cause I bested him at cards and was winning a fight by fish hooking him so it's not a stretch to say that he'd do something to Silas to get to me."

"It's complicated, Shaw." I told him while he smoked. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes, causing me to tell him, "I made a commitment to him. I can't just walk away from two years cause he's struggling with fatherhood."

Shaw tipped some ashes into the tray on his side table before propping himself up on his elbow and telling me, "Jessa, honey, your commitment to him and the family you're trying to build together's already broken." Pointing the cigarette between us he added, "If it wasn't, we wouldn't have made passionate love." Shit, he has a point there… Silently, I snatched the cigarette from him. As I smoked, he told me, "The most important thing is Silas' wellbeing and then your happiness. With Tolbert one of those will suffer, if not both, but with me I can be a good dad to our son and a good partner to you."

"I know, Shaw." I sighed before taking another drag off of the cigarette.

"Seriously, babe, Tolbert's a violent drunk with a bad temper. I don't want to see Silas or worse you at the wrong end of it." Shaw told me, his voice a bit softer than usual, as he took the cigarette from me as I offered it up to him.

"I'm already at the wrong end of it, Shaw." I admitted, causing his honey eyes to pop out of his head.

"What? Why? He didn't lay hands on ya, did he?" Shaw asked in a long slew of words that more or less ran into each other.

"No, he didn't lay hands on me." I assured Shaw, wanting him to calm down. He nodded while giving me a look that said 'tell me what's going on'. I let out a long sigh before revealing, "Sully told Brenton in confidence that I took Silas to the livery to see you, but he broke it by telling Tolbert about us."

"Jessa, you can't go back to him. He's going to make you pick between what's best for him and what's best for Silas." Shaw firmly told me while taking a deep drag off his cigarette. Smoke billowed from his nostrils and wafted out of his mouth as he told me, "Honey, I've already lost my mom and my daughter; I can't lose my son too."

"You won't lose him, Shaw. I promise." I softly told him as he snubbed the cigarette out in the tray on his bedside table.

His honey eyes pierced right thru me as he firmly stated, "There's only one way to ensure that, Jessa."

"I know." I nodded. I had hard decision to make. One that I guess I knew would smack me in the face sooner or later. Sitting up, I told Shaw, "I need to go home; talk to Tolbert."

"If you're coming back then leave Silas here, if not take him with you." Shaw told me as I flung the white sheet off of me, getting out of bed.

I just nodded before picking my clothes up from all the random places he flung them. Once I was dressed, I walked out of his room. After shutting the door, I went over to the wooden playpen. Silas was sleeping and he looked so content, so peaceful. I was about to pick him up, but something stopped me. I didn't want to stir him, so I just watched him with a soft smile. I had a choice to make, one that would impact my son's life, not just my own. I could take my son and go back to home to Tolbert or I could leave him with Shaw and go to the cabin to end things with Tolbert.

I mulled over my choices before finally making one. One that'd hurt somebody, but one that'd give my son the best father.

AN:

Allie and Cap are having another baby, YAY! Isn't that exciting. Oh boy, Tolbert would tell Jessa about Olga taking Lydia and leaving Shaw. Seems like that kinda backfired on him… Yep, I warned ya in advance about them lemons… So, either Jessa's staying with Tolbert or leaving him to take up with her baby daddy Shaw. Next chapter will have the answer to that.