*Author's Note*
Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.
In These Hard Times
Jessa POV:
It's been 3-days since I had the miscarriage and I still felt horrible. I was depressed and having break thru bleedings. Shaw was a bit startled and thought that I needed Doc, but Granny Delize assured him that I was fine and that it was perfectly normal to bleed for days after a miscarriage. She said that if I got a feverish then I'd need Doc, but so far, I was fever free. I was on bed rest since I felt so weak.
Shaw was being very supportive. He was a permanent fixture by my side the last couple of days, but today (cause Granny Delize harshly told him to go to work with Todd) he was at the livery. I hope that work was taking his mind off of our tragedy, but I doubt it.
I was leaning my back against some pillows and the headboard whenever the door to my room opened. "Somebody's here to see ya. She's real worried 'bout ya too." Granny Delize announced before stepping aside and revealing my guest. Roseanna, my dear and sweet friend turned cousin-in-law. "I'll let'cha visit while I tend to the house and youngins." She told us as Roseanna entered the room.
"Cap told Johnse what happened." Roseanna told me as an explanation for her presence in my room as Granny Delize closed the door, leaving me and the sweet blonde alone. "I brought over a covered dish; thought I'd check in on ya."
"Thank you, Rosie. It means a lot to me that you came to see me." I gratefully smiled as Roseanna made her way over to my bedside.
"How long's Granny Delize stayin' to help you an' Shaw for?" She asked, gently sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.
"Til I get back on my feet." I answered Roseanna before furrowing my brows and quacking adding in, "Why, did she say something to you?"
"No," She shook her head before going on to say, "just that she sees why Johnse fell for me. Said that I'm a kind soul, somethin' rare to find 'mongst my family."
"Oh."
"How're feelin'?" She asked with a concerned look on her heart shaped face.
"Like shit." I honestly answered while cracking a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yea…" Roseanna sighed sadly; her lips pressed in a line. Wrapping her arms around me in a hug, she softly told me, "I'm sorry that my brother's the reason for this. It hurts me that he did this to you."
Patting her back, I assured her, "It's okay, Roseanna. It's not your fault Tolbert went off the rails the other day at the trial."
As we pulled away from my hug, my dear friend told me, "I know it's not my fault, but he's my brother and it saddens me that he did this to ya. I know Tolbert's a hothead, but I nev'r though he'd lay hands of ya; make ya lose the baby."
"Don't try to make sense out of it." I ordered Roseanna, causing her to just half-nod her head at me. "I know that I've stop trying to figure out why Tolbert does things after I found out he lied to me about being able to treat Silas like his own. Your brother does whatever he wants, not worrying about consequences til after the fact when things don't go his way." I lengthy told the sweet blonde since I felt she needed to hear those things about me and her brother.
"Tolbert hates all of us. You cause of bein' wit' Shaw and me cause I married Johnse." Roseanna told me, looking like she was on the verge of tears. I knew that being disowned by her family cause she ran off with Johnse during election day was hard on her. In time I think she'll get over it, but in a way everything's still fresh (she's only been with Johnse a few months so…)
Wanting to change the foul mood that was taking over my room, I suggested, "Rosie, let's talk about something else. Like how're you and Johnse doing?"
Upon being asked about her husband, Roseanna lit up. "Oh, we're doing great. His shine business is gettin' bigger too. So many people are buyin' his shine that he's always travelin' the countryside makin' deliveries."
"That's great; I'm so glad that his business is really taking off."
It seemed that things were going good for Johnse and Roseanna; I couldn't be happier for them. I'm glad that they're having a happy life, especially since right now mine was anything but.
Todd POV:
I was sitting at Shaw's desk, bored out of my mind and keepin' an eye out for customers, while he was holed up in the kitchenette drainin' a bottle of shine. I knew he'd be drowin' his sorrows in shine. Hell, he wasn't even trying to hide his drinking either. At least my dead dad would pour the likker into his coffee mug, hide his drinkin'. Nope, Shaw was just drainin' his bottle with no shame. He didn't give a shit, he just wanted to numb his hurt.
I was cleanin' the dirt from underneath my fingernails wit' a pocket knife whenever the door chime went off. I looked up right as Johnse walked in with a large bottle of shine in his hand. Yea, just what my brother didn't need, more booze. "Shaw's in the kitchenette." I told my cousin 'fore he could open his mouth to ask about my brother.
"Can I go back there; see him?" Johnse asked, walkin' deeper into the room.
"Shaw! Johnse's here with a bottle of shine!" I hollered since I didn't want to piss my brother off by sending our cousin to the kitchenette if he didn't want him back there.
"I'm comin'!" Shaw hollered back.
Johnse just took a seat at the desk as we waited for my brother to come into the office. Whenever he did emerge from the back hall, he looked like he'd just been run over by a freight train. His golden-brown hair was disheveled an' he had a hollow look in his honey eyes. "Todd, get some coffee in the kitchenette. You're on break now."
Um, I don't there's any coffee in there, but if he's givin' me a break I'll take it.
Shaw POV:
After Todd left the room I sat down at the desk. Pointing to the bottle in Johnse's hand, I told him, "So, you've brought me a bottle."
"Yea and Roseanna brought a casserole ov'r to the house." Johnse nodded, placing the bottle on my desk.
I grabbed the bottle off my desk and uncorked it. "Oh, so she's visitin' Jessa." I remarked before taking my first sip from my new shine bottle.
Nodding, Johnse comfirmed in a nonchalant tone, "Yea, she was worried 'bout her and wanted to check on her."
"That's nice of her and all, but I don't want Jessa having too many visitors. She's frail and still havin' break thru bleedin's." I bluntly told my cousin before taking another swig of shine.
"Shaw, it's just Roseanna. She's so sweet, she can't work up nobody."
Looking 'tween the bottle in my hand and my pretty boy cousin, I sighed, "Johnse, she can come to the house in a couple of weeks once Jessa's got a clean bill of health."
Johnse's brows knitted for a split second before realization dawned on him. "You're afraid she's gonna take a turn for the worse, ain't ya?" He asked the obvious even tho he didn't need too.
"Granny Delize told me that if she catches a fever, I could lose her to an infection, so yea I'm 'fraid for her health." I spat out a bit edgily before knocking back my bottle of shine.
"Oh…" Johnse's trailed off a bit hesitantly. No doubt he didn't know what to say to what I just told him.
"Johnse, maybe you should get back to your deliveries." I suggested since I really didn't feel like visiting.
"Shaw, if ya need me to stick 'round and help Todd with the office so ya can go home an' be with Jessa I can. I don't got no more deliveries to make til tomorrow." Johnse offered in a very caring and supportive tone. He had a sympathetic look in his blue eyes, portraying that he really cared about my situation with Jessa.
"If you don't mind, I appreciate that." I said as a way of accepting Johnse's offer.
"I don't mind, Shaw. Just be nice if Roseanna's still 'round when ya get home. She didn't know how bad off Jessa was when she went t'visit."
"Don't worry, Johns, I'll be nice to her." I assured my cousin before getting up from my desk. "Todd, I'm goin' home and Johnse's stickin' 'round to help ya out!" I shouted so that my brother could hear me from the kitchenette, where he was takin' a coffee break.
Todd's voice loudly echoed down the hall with a loud and simple, "Okay!"
Without a word, I left the office with my bottle of shine. I only cared about one thing and that was getting home to Jessa so that I could check up on her; make sure she was getting better and not worse.
Tolbert POV:
It was cold out an' snow covered the ground. I was at my still brewin' some shine. I was gonna make some deliveries in a couple days t'make some money, but lately my business was failin' cause Johnse Hatfield was stealin' my customers. Damn Hatfield, first he steals 'way my sister an' then my shine customers. He sells low priced horse piss, but folks seemed t'wanna buy it anyways.
I was stokin' the fire heatin' my still when I heard a wagon roll up. Lookin' ov'r my shoulder, I saw my cousin Nancy pullin' her wagon to a stop. "What'cha doin' here, Nance?" I asked 'fore goin' back t'stokin' the fire.
"Came t'buy some whiskey for my man's birthday." She told me as she came up t'my side.
"Ah…okay…" I nodded, grabbin' one of the filled bottles I had in a crate an' handin' it ov'r to my cousin. 'Fore she could open up her purse, I told her, "No charge. It's for a birthday present."
"Thank you, Tolbert." She gratefully told me 'fore addin' in, "But wit' how much Abel makes I can afford a greenback for a bottle."
"I told ya, it's on me for his birthday. Pay me next month for Jefferson's birthday bottle t'make it even."
Nancy just nodded, acceptin' what I told her. "Did ya hear what happened t'Jessa after that Vance's trial?"
"No. What happened?"
A long look appeared on Nancy's face as she told me in a soft tone, "I heard from Abel that once she got home, she lost the baby."
"What? She lost it, how?" I asked, feeling like a bolder just fell on my chest. She seemed fine a few days 'go, how could she make such a change for the worse? Yea, she left me, but I still loved her an' wanted her t'be in good health. Hell, her last pregnancy was awful, did that play a hand in her miscarriage?
"I'm sorry Tolbert, but it seems when ya pushed her…" Nancy told me, trailing off at the end of her words, givin' me a long an' sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Tolbert. I know how much this news must hurt ya wit' how much ya care for her."
Oh god, oh, god, oh god, I caused Jessa's miscarriage! Goddamnit, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean her no harm, I was just angry an' shoved her 'way from me cause she said she wanted me t'let her go. I tossed the stick I was stokin' the fire wit' 'fore standin' up an' angrily kickin' ov'r my still. "Damnit! How could I be so stupid?!I"
Comin' to my side an' placin' a calmin' hand on my shoulder, my cousin told me, "Tolbert, don't be so hard on yourself. Ya didn't mean it."
"Ya don't understand, Nancy. She's gonna hate me cause o'this." I sighed, jerkin' my shoulder 'way from her hand. I ran a hand thru my hair and muttered, "We nev'r knew if she'd be able t'have more babies…" I shook my head out of guilt. "All she wanted was 'nother child an' now I took that 'way from her."
"Cousin, don't do this t'yourself. Don't blame yourself for an accident. If anyone's t'blame it's Shaw for turnin' her 'gainst ya an' our entire family wit' all his money an' lies."
"Nance, just leave me be." I ordered since nothin' she said was gonna make me feel better.
"Of course." She nodded sympathetically. Nancy walked a couple steps 'fore pausin' an' turnin' 'round to tell me, "Tolbert, you're welcomed ov'r for dinner anytime. Abel's a good man; he sides more wit' our family then his in-laws."
"I'll keep it in mind, Nance." I told my cousin, makin' her nod an' go ov'r to her wagon.
Honestly, I didn't want t'be bothered wit' any family for a while. After learnin' that I caused Jessa's miscarriage, did her harm an' heartbreak, all I wanna do is hole up at my still an' get drunk.
Nancy POV:
After tellin' Tolbert 'bout Jessa's miscarriage I went home t'make supper. I needed t'make a good meal since it was Abel's birthday. Also, I wanted him t'et a good meal so that he'd say yes t'my proposition. I was gonna feed 'im an' give 'im whiskey so he'd hear me out 'bout marriage. I needed a way into the devil's den an' becomin' Mrs. Freeland was that way. I'm sure that my sweet naïve cousin Roseanna would vouch for me t'Allie (Abel's sister) an' I'd be easily allowed into the Hatfield hellhole. I needed t'start gatherin' more information now more than ev'r on 'em Hatfield devils if I wanted t'get revenge on them.
Tolbert's unstable hothead would prove good in my revenge plot. I could use him t'do some o'my dirty work. I also needed Tolbert t'befriend Abel too. Together, my man an' my cousin could do some damage to Jim Vance an' his bloodline under my urgin'. I just had'a play my cars right. Now it's time to show my first hand in this prize winnin' game for revenge.
I was puttin' the food on the table whenever the door opened. "Hey, sweetheart, somethin' smells good." Abel remarked, walkin' into the cabin.
"I made your favorite, chicken an' dumplin's." I smiled sweetly as he took off his hat, jacket, and scarf an' hung 'em up. "Got'cha a fresh bottle o'whiskey too." I told him, takin' a seat at the table as he walked into our small kitchen. "Happy Birthday, Abel."
"Thanks." He nodded with a smile, takin' a seat at the table.
"The whiskey came free of charge from Tolbert for your birthday." I informed my man as I made him up a plate.
"Really? He gave me a gift?" Abel asked a bit skeptically as I placed his full plate in front of him.
"Yes, he did. I was gonna buy him for it, but he insisted." I confirmed while makin' up my own plate.
"Oh, well, that's unexpected since he's so hotheaded." Abel shrugged 'fore ettin' a large bite of his dinner.
I grabbed the bottle of whiskey, uncorked it, an' poured some in our cups while assurin' Abel, "My cousin's not that bad once ya get t'know him, which'll happen soon 'nough cause he's welcomed ov'r for dinner as long as I'm here."
"Nancy, I don't think he'll want to be here when I am. My sister's married to Cap, remember?" Abel told me with a slight attitude while he picked at his food.
"Tolbert's in a real bad spot right now that he heard 'bout Jessa…he needs a friend that's outside of the family." I told Abel, hoping that it'd reel 'im back in. I needed him listenin' to me, not thinkin' on his own.
Dropping his fork onto his plate, he sighed, "You told him 'bout her, didn't ya?"
"It came up, but I was gentle in tellin' him. I thought him hearin' from me was better then hearin' news second hand from a drunk whorehouse goer or from that Vance bastard."
"I reckon your right."
"Of course, I'm right." I told him, eatin' a spoonful of my dinner. "You know, Abel Freeland, with everything goin' on with our families I think it's time we got married."
His eyes popped outta his head, he was so shocked. "What? Ya wanna get married?"
Choosin' to ignore his shocked state, I told him, "Yes, I think it'd bridge a gap 'tween our families.', while pickin' my cup up. I took a sip of my shine 'fore explainin', "My cousin needs a new friend an' your sister could use a friend too. Besides, Roseanna's a part of the Hatfield family an' it'd be easier for me to resume my friendship with her."
"You really think us gettin' married will broker peace?" Abel asked, pickin' up his cup an' takin' a quick swig from it.
"Yes, I do." I nodded, placin' my glass on the table. "I'm Randall's niece an' you're Cap Hatfield's brother-in-law; us bein' 'part of the families will begin t'heal an' fix things." I explained as I picked up my fork an' went back to ettin' my chicken an' dumplin's.
Abel's brow rose up t'his hairline as he asked, "I thought you hated my in-laws?"
"I hate Jim Vance an' his nephew Shaw, the rest I don't care 'bout." I half-lied since I hated that entire family. "Abel, it's time we settled down an' married. We ain't gettin' younger an' I'd like t'become a mother one day soon." I told my lover as a way to get him to agree to my proposal. I honestly didn't care one way or 'notha if I had chil'ren, but knew that puttin' motherhood out there'd increase my chance of swayin' Abel t'marry me.
"I didn't know you were ready to settle down and start a family."
"Well, now ya know." I shrugged, ploppin' a forkful of food into my mouth.
"Okay. Okay, first thing in the mornin' we'll find the preacher and get married." Abel relented in a shaky tone. IT was clear he wasn't ready t'get hitched, but was just doin' it t'keep me.
"Thank you, Abel. You've made me very happy in these hard times."
Seems like t'morrow I'm gonna be Mrs. Abel Freeland an' I'll be able to start my road to revenge properly. Once I 'gain Roseanna's trust 'gain I'll be findin' out everthin' on them Hatfields; be able to ruin 'em from within.