*Author's Note*
Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.
This is a long chapter, reckon it makes up for the last one being a bit short. LOL.
Sunday Dinner, Sept. 1881
Tolbert POV:
Sittin' thru one of Reverend Garrett's sermon's today felt like a long an' strenuous task. It seemed like what he was preachin' went in one ear an' out the other. Wasn't that I weren't payin' attention, it's just after bein' nearly killed an' robbed by Bad Frank on that Vance Bastard's orders it was hard t'go by blind faith an' believe that the lord shall reward me for my faithfulness by givin' me the desires of thy heart. Hmm, if my faith as a believer was repaid, I'd be wit' Jessa raisin' a family right now, not sittin' at the end of a pew wit' my brother Bud sandwiched 'tween me an' Pharmer in a drafty church. Hell, I hated watchin' Calvin sittin' up in the front pew wit' the preacher's daughter, lookin' like a cute couple. Made me sick. Weren't fair that Calvin, who's too chicken t'even approach the Reverend 'bout marryin' his daughter, was able t'be wit' his girl while I had to miserably watch mine from a distance. Hell, ev'thin' weren't fair an' I was sick of it.
I was also so sick of the looks I seemed t'get both in an' outside of church from all the gossipin' old hags (church ladies). Hell, I knew what they were thinkin' considerin' I overheard their jaws flappin' wit' gossip 'bout me one too many times t'count an' I couldn't stand it. I hated how I was either pitied, mocked, or laughed 'bout cause I was 'head ov'r heels' for a woman that had turned her back on me; betrayed me. It pissed me off how these church ladies, who once smiled at Jessa an' treated her nicely years 'go, can now talk 'bout her like she's a horrible creature an' then whisper behind my back 'bout how I'm so stupid t'be hung up on her. Who're these old hags t'deem who I should an' shouldn't wrap my mind 'round.
They don't even know the half of what's goin' on cause if they did, well I bet they'd think twice 'bout gossipin' 'bout it.
I swear, I once liked goin' t'church, but now I didn't. I knew that my faith was important ('specially since poppy's so devout an' raised us t'be such too), but right now sittin' in a one-room buildin' listenin' to somethin' that wasn't bringin' me any peace o'mind wasn't high on my priority list.
"Tolbert, are ya driftin' off?" Bud asked me in a whisper.
"No, Bud, I'm listenin' to the Reverend." I dryly told my brother as I boredly stared straight 'headat the pulpit.
"Don't look like it, tho." Bud told me, makin' my chest tighten in annoyance.
"Yea, looks more like yer stuck in yer own head." Pharmer added in, causin' my temper to flare up. Goddamnit, why did they care whether I was payin' attention to the preacher or not anyhow? I was sittin' in the pew wit' em, wasn't that good 'nough?
"Shut up, ya'll." I barked at my younger brothers. I just shook my head an' rolled my eyes 'fore placin' my attention on the sermon Reverend Garrett was givin'.
"Now, the lord wants all his faithful chil'ren t'be happy. States of melancholy and depression are not meant for the righteous. We are meant to walk thru the valley of the shadows of death, not make camp in it." The reverend preached in a loud booming voice. He raised his hand in the air and pointed to all of us in the pews while declarin', "The lord wants us to be happy, tho we go thru hardships at times. Pray and believe with all your heart for your desires and our savior the lord god shall grant them unto you." Reverend Garret put his hand down and grabbed the side of his wooden pulpit. "Within reason, we shall get the joys and wonders we seek and live our lives in the glory of god til he finds it prudent to bring us home to the promise land to be with him."
Mhm, this bullshit sermon's doin' nothin', but makin' me irritated state worse. Goddamn, all the church ladies singin' an' shoutin' their halleluhs, praise the lords, and amens are gratin' on my nerves too. So much so that I gotta get outta here, gotta get some fresh air so that I can breathe.
"Why did ya step outta Sunday meetin' this mornin' for, Tolbert?" Ma asked me as she sat at the table, makin' pastry dough, while I was across from her, settin' up the cast-iron grinder on the edge of the table.
Ma wanted to make a nut roll today so I was stuck helpin' her grind up the nuts. It's somethin' that I've been helpin' her wit' ever since I was a boy. Nut grindin' time always seemed t'be when we talked an' spent one on one time together as mother an' son. I think she wanted t'have a serious talk wit' me this afternoon 'bout my life; where it's goin', an' that's why she really wanted t'make the nut roll.
Goddamnit, last time I grinded nuts for a nut roll was when I was still livin' wit' Jessa. Silas was a few months old an' Jessa wanted to try out the recipe she learnt from my ma so I'd went out an' bought her a grinder from Adam's store; set it up for her an' grinded a good pound or so of nuts for her (that I bought from the general store too since we didn't have a walnut tree on our land). That small memory was one I cherished. It proved that there was a time that I'd been a happy family man. In hindsight, I could've been more aware o'my family instead o'takin' 'em for granted.
"Just needed some fresh air, mama." I told her, checkin' the grinder t'make sure that it was securely tightened on the table since I didn't feel like it fallin' off when I was in the middle of workin' it. That happened t'me once when I was younger. Sent the nuts flyin' all ov'r.
"I sense it's more than that." Of course, she did. Hell, only problem wit' bein' my ma's fav'rite was that she was more aware o'my feelin's verses my siblin's. Even tho I was the second oldest, I was her baby an' she always had a keen sense on what was botherin' me or how t'approach me 'bout somethin'. Shakin' her head, she placed some more flour on the dough she was beginnin' to knead, and sighed knowin'ly, "Oh, sweetheart, the reverend's words got to ya, et 'way at ya cause you can't have your heart's desire."
"Ma…" I warned her as I started t'grind the walnuts for the nut roll she wanted t'make for today's desert.
"Son, please, let go of your feelin's for her." She pleaded wit' me, causin' me to just shake my head as I placed some more nuts into the grinder. Givin' me a knowin' look that only a mother can have, she warned me, "If ya don't you'll only get hurt."
"Mama, it's not that simple. I can't just stop lovin' her." I firmly told my mama. Ma didn't say a word, just let out a disappointed huff of a sigh. Crushed nuts flowed outta the grinder an' into the bowl under it as I admitted t'my mother, "Hell, if I'm t'be honest I fell in love wit' her the moment I found her."
"Ya can't be wit' her." Mama shook her head as she kneaded the pastry dough. Givin' me a pointed look, she explained why bein' wit' Jessa was impossible wit' the remark of, "She's married to a Hatfield, even if she left 'im your poppy'd nev'r let'cha bring her home. No, not with how she left ya for a fool; turned her back on our family's good will too."
I paused in crankin' the grinder's handle an' looked at my ma. I felt the need t'defend Jessa so that's what I did. My velvet timbre was firm an' full of resolve as I told my ma, "But she did that cause she was afraid for her son's safety. Goddamnit, ma, she made a deal wit' that Vance Bastard to keep me safe. She left me so that I'd be safe; that her son wouldn't draw too much attention as he grew up wit'out any of our family features." Shakin' my head, I honestly sighed wit' emotion seepin' in my words, "I can't hate her for that."
"Well, then ya need to lie t'yourself and pretend that ya hate her or else you'll get put in an early grave." My ma advised me while flippin' ov'r the pastry dough an' sprinklin' it wit' a small dustin' of flour.
"Ma-" I began only to be cut off wit' her blunt words of, "You'll be shot down dead like a dog for sniffin' 'round what's viewed as 'nother man's wife." She kneaded the pastry dough wit' harshin' movements as she told me, "I don't want that fate for ya, son, so please find 'nother to push our feelin's an' affections on."
I placed some more nuts into the grinder an' began t'crank the handle 'gain all while givin' my ma the veiled advice of, "Ma, if ya want me t'keep grindin' these nuts for yer nut roll stop lecturin' me 'bout my feelin's for Jessa."
"Very well, Tolbert. I'll keep my words of wisdom to myself." She conceded wit' a nod of her head. I knew by the hollow look in her eyes that she didn't wanna keep her quiet, but was only doin' so cause she needed my help wit' grindin' nuts.
"Mama, corn's shucked." Alifair announced as she walked thru the back door and into the kitchen.
"Good, Alifair, then ya can start on the cornbread." Ma told my sister as she walked ov'r to the counter.
My sister looked at me, but didn't say a word, 'fore settin' her bowl of corn onto the counter. I could tell that she had somethin' on her mind, but was bitin' her tongue off cause she didn't want me yellin' at her. As I cranked the grinder, grindin' up the nuts for my ma's nut roll (which was a family recipe passed down from her gran'ma), I watched Alifair cut corn cobbs wit' rigid movements.
After a while her sourness got t'me an' I just blurted out the question of, "What's buggin' ya, Alifair?"
"Nothin' that concerns ya, Tolbert." My sister told me, tryin' to wave off my concerns.
Shakin' my head, I firmly told her, "I think it concerns me when yer actin' offish as soon as ya come in 'ere an' see me helpin' ma grind nuts. Takin' some nuts outta the large bowl they were in an' placin' them into the grinder, I asked in a no-nonsense tone, "Now, what is it?"
Mama's eyes darted 'tween me and my sister as she waited on baited breath to see how things would unfold 'tween us. I think she was 'fraid that an all-out screamin' match would break out 'tween me an' my sister cause of my nasty temper. I think she also had an idea of what Alifair was gonna broach topic wise too.
Hell, even I think I knew what Alifair was gonna confront me wit'. Jessa…
Alifair put the knife she was cuttin' corn wit' an' turned 'round to face me. Foldin' her arms ov'r her chest, she sighed and shook her head 'fore tellin' me, "My friend, Holly, seems to think your mighty handsome. She's nice an' from a good family, the Coleman's who're on friendly terms with poppy, but ya snapped at her; told her t'leave ya alone when she tried talkin' to you after church." Oh hell, that ugly pig-faced girl would be her friend. Great…just great… I just rolled my eyes at my sister, which only prompted her to add onto her previous remark wit', "She's upset and doesn't know what she did wrong; when I told her you're still not over your ex-wife she cried an' said that it wasn't fair that your mind's on somebody that's married and expectin' to somebody on the other side of the Tug."
"What? So now yer tellin' me all this to what, try an' guilt me into courtin' yer stupid lil friend so I'll forget all 'bout Jessa? Hmm…" I asked my sister in a tight and sarcastic tone. Irritation an' annoyance was seepin' from my words as I cut my stormy eyes angrily at my sister. "It ain't gonna work, Alifair. Try an' ya want, but I ain't gonna court no friend o'yers. 'Specially one that looks like a pig."
"Tolbert John McCoy, don't be cruel like that." Ma chastised me; her eyes narrowed in disappointment.
"You're so mean, Tolbert. So much so that you'll gonna end up 'lone." Alifair declared 'fore gin' back t'cuttin' corn off of the cobb.
"Eh, I can always pay a whore for some company." I shrugged, playin' off my sister's remark as if it didn't hurt even when it did. Hell, I didn't wanna be alone. Don't think anybody really does. Thing is, if I can't be wit' Jessa then I don't wanna settle down. All I need's a whore for some stress relief, that's it. Reckon I can't force myself t'love an' care for somebody when the feelin's just ain't there.
"Tolbert, what your mouth." Ma scolded me while givin' me a quick smack upside the head.
"Sorry, ma. I won't talk like that 'round ya no mores."
Shaw POV:
Even tho it was well into September, the chill in the air was bitin'. All of the kids had their coats on as they ran around in the yard, laughin' and playing. Hell, us men were bundled in her jackets too as we were clustered on the porch, bullshittin' while the women folk were inside doin' kitchen duty. I'd rather be at home, but since Cap was no longer a part of the family fold, I had to make my presence known so that maybe, just maybe, Devil Anse'll decide to have me take the place of his son to fill the hole his absence had left behind.
"Son, when's the baby due?" My dad asked me from his spot leanin' 'gainst a porch post as he smoked.
I let out a long puff of smoke from my own cigerrette before answering him with, "Sometime in December." Tippin' my ashes onto the porch floor, I added in, "Should be early to mid-December I think."
"That's a few weeks after Doc says my sweet darlin' Roseanna should be givin' birth." Johnse informed everyone, excited oozing from his voice as a big smile crossed over his face, as he sat on the porch steps watchin' the kids
"Well, Anse, Sully, looks like ya'll be gran'pappies 'round the same time then." Lias remarked while practicin' a song on his fiddle. A sour tuned song that sounded like the meows of a dyin' cat, might I add.
Uncle Jim took a swig from his flask 'fore nudgin' me and saying, "Oh, Shaw, tell everyone that name ya'll pick out." He took another swing from his flask and loudly chuckled, "Oh boy, it sure does have a ring to it."
Pulling his pipe from the corner of his mouth, Devil Anse looked at me and curiously asked, "What's the name?"
I smirked while takin' a drag off my cigarette. "Endor John." I answered Devil Anse in a proud tone as I let a ring of smoke float out of my mouth.
"Endor John?" My dad parroted with a scrutinizing look in his blue eyes. Dear lord, he didn't like the name.
Ellsion nodded in approval and told me, "Sounds like a proper name, a gentleman's name.", before taking a sip from his flask.
"John, after Johnse I presume?" Devil Anse asked me with a curious tone to his hard and cold timbre as he rocked in his rocker.
"Yes, Anse, John's after Johnse since, after all, he's gonna be the godfather." I answered my cousin. Secretly, I was hoping that the revelation that my son was (in a way) going to be named after his son would make him like some more.
I mean I was bending over backwards to kiss Devil Anse's ass so when my wife told me that she liked the name John to go with Endor, well I saw it as the perfect was to thaw my cousin's cold heart. Havin' a cousin bein' honored for his son was a big deal, was something that'd stroke Devil Anse's ego. Truthfully, I'd rather have Endor's middle name be James (after Uncle Jim) or Hector (my dad's real name that I carry as my middle name), but I made a deal with Jessa and she picked John. I'd respect her choice, especially since it'll get me in Devil Anse's good graces.
"What? You're pickin' me to be the godfather?" Johnse asked with a surprised expression on his face.
"Yea, I am." I nodded, flickin' some ashes onto the porch floor.
"Oh, cousin, I'm honored." Johnse smiled, lookin' as if I'd just made his day by namin' him godfather of my unborn son.
"Got any girl names yet?" Sully asked me, his voice soundin' polite, but monotoned, as he tossed his cigarette butt off the porch.
"Yea, but Jessa insists it's a boy and who am I to argue with that." I told my dad and in extension every man that was perched out on the porch as a way to get around having to discus a potential girl name. My next child would be Margaery Sheena, but I didn't feel like revealin' that to my family just yet. They'd find out the girl's name we had in mind once Jessa fell pregnant with our fourth child, which I hope happens a few months after she gives birth to our new son.
My dad looked at me with a quirked brow and asked, "She insists it's a boy?"
"Yea." I nodded. Tossin' my cigarette on the floor and crushin' it under my boot, I shrugged, "It's some gut feelin' she has."
"Well, whether her gut feelin's right or not, the name Endor John's a fine one. Suit's a boy of the Hatfield family well." Devil Anse told me, in a way that portrayed that he approved of my unborn son's name, before stickin' his pipe back into the corner of his mouth.
I noticed how Skunk Hair was sittin' quietly on the other side of the porch, sulkin'. He's been doin' this every Sunday since I've been comin' to dinner and all I could think of was that the loss of his best friend was hitting him hard, real hard.
I wonder if he's in contact with Cap, if he'll tell him about how I'm wigglin' my way under Anse's skin and into the Hatfield fold.
Jessa POV:
While the men and the kids were outside playing and socializing, us women were inside cooking. Well, I was sitting at the table nursing a cup of tea since I had a headache (which gave me a dizzy spell and nearly scared my in-laws to death) while Levicy, Roseanna, and Vera cooked. Mary (my sister-in-law) and Nannie (Levicy's oldest daughter) were in the kitchen too. So, in a way they were pickin' up my slack. Even tho Roseanna was pregnant she was glowin' and was keepin' a great pace in the kitchen.
"We decided on a name we like." Roseanna announced as she peeled a potato with such ease. Hell, if I didn't have a migraine right now, I'd be peelin' taters too, but whatever…
Levicy, who was cuttin' up some squash to fry, made the remark of, "I know that you and my son's been at odds 'bout a name so I'm glad to hear that you've decided on something." With a smile the Hatfield matriarch asked her daughter-in-law, "What is it, Roseanna?"
"Sarah Elizabeth." Roseanna smiled, causing everyone else to smile. Of course, I already knew the baby's name since I read about it in school become time traveling, but I just smiled and acted surprised anyways.
"That's a lovely name." Levicy gushed while Vera, who was helping Roseanna peel potatoes, said, "I like it."
Mary and Nannie didn't say a word, instead they just smiled and worked on the dough they were making. I think they stayed silent since they were still kids. Yea, they might be in the kitchen helping cook, but they were still girls. I guess they'd rather be talking about dolls, dresses, Tom Sawyer, and Huckleberry Finn instead of baby names.
"It's a good name." I told my friend with a small smile, that was most likely hindered by my painful headache, before taking a small sip of my tea.
Instead of asking Roseanna if they've brainstormed any boy names, Levicy turned to me and asked, "Jessa, have you thought of a name yet for your baby?"
"Yea, his name's Endor John." I nodded, smiling as my son's name left my lips.
"Oh, that's different." Levicy remarked as kindly as she could, even tho I'm pretty sure she thought that Endor was a bit odd and outlandish.
"John?..." Roseanna asked me, her brows knitted together. Well, I take it she knows that her brother's middle name's John so hopefully she doesn't figure out why I'm using the name John for my son.
Yea, my son and his father's going to share the same middle name since that's all they can ever share name wise. Even tho I'm the only one that knows why Endor's middle name's John, it's still important to me that he has a name that links him to his dad.
"Oh, is John cause Shaw's friendly with his cousin, Johnse?" Vera asked innocently, giving me a perfect cover for the middle name I chose.
"Yes." I nodded. Placing my cup down, I continued with, "We want Johnse and Roseanna to be the godparents, so the name John's a way to honor that."
Roseanna's brows relaxed since my answer seemed to squash any questions might've had brewing. A smile spread across her face as she told me, "Oh, Jessa, we'd be honored to be the baby's godparents."
Oh, only if she knew she was more then Endor's godmother. That she was indeed his auntie. Oh my god, the sweet thing would have a stroke.
Tolbert POV:
The tables were full, there was only an inch or so of elbow room available, an' the platters were lined up ready t'be prayed ov'r an' picked at. Poppy sat in his spot at the head of the table while Perry Cline was in his at the end. Unfortunately for me I was stuck next to the lawyer an' across from his brother-in-law, Brenton. Can't say that I could stomach the law clerk since every time he came 'round it was t'spread some bad news 'bout Jessa. Goddamn, I swear this man was like the messenger o'doom.
Lookin' at the tables an' deemin' that ev'body was ready t'et, poppy bowed his head an' clasped his hands in order t'say grace. All of us followed suit an' bowed our heads as poppy cleared his throat and spoke up loudly wit' a blessin' of, "Blessed lord baby jesus, we thank ya for the food we're 'bout t'et an' for our family's health. We ask that ya bless this food; make it sustain our bodies an' strengthen us. We also thank ya for our guests, Perry an' Brenton." Liftin' his head he ended the blessin' wit', "Amen."
"Amen." Everyone repeated as we lifted up our heads.
Poppy grabbed the meat platter and placed a few slices of pork on his plate while Perry made the slick remark of, "You know I've been seein' Devil Anse's second son going in and out of the saloon everyday for weeks now. Odd, isn't it?"
"Cap's a compulsive gambler these days." I remarked, to no one in particular, as poppy passed the meat platter over to Bud.
Pickin' up the bowl o'peas, poppy scoffed, "Course he is, he's a heathen."
"He's a gamblin' heathen cause he's been disowned by Devil Anse for bein' a defiler." Brenton informed us in a know-it-all tone while poppy placed some peas on his plate an' Pharmer greedily snatched the meat platter from Bud's hand. "He picked his traitor wife ov'r dear ol' daddy." The lark clerk chuckled as Pharmer placed some pork on his plate before passin' me the platter.
"Why's she a traitor? Thought Devil Anse an' the lot like her." Poppy spoke up, his brows knitted in confussion, as he plopped some mashed taters on his plate an' passed the bowl ov'r to my brother.
"She was goin' 'hind everyone's backs t'visit Abel an' Nancy's what I heard." Brenton told poppy, causin' me to let out a deep chuckle as I took the bowl o'peas from Pharmer.
"She's a traitor cause she was helpin' me try an' win back Jessa. Allie hates the Vance Bastard just as much as I do; she wanted t'hurt him by helpin' me take back my rightful family." I explained t'everyone as I scooped some peas onto my plate and handed the bowl over to Perry.
"Well, then that explains why Miss Allie's deemed a traitor…" Perry Cline trailed off as he placed a sizeable scoop of peas onto his plate.
"Son, I don't 'prove of yer endeavor t'win back that lyin' whore's affections. Y'need'a leave that there girl 'lone." Poppy told me as I took the bread basket from Pharmer; grabbin' a biscuit an' ploppin' it on my plate.
"I don't care if ya 'prove or not, poppy. I love her an' she's havin' my baby so I ain't just gonna leave her 'lone cause ya say so." I bluntly told my poppy while passin' the bread basket ov'r to Perry.
"She's havin' your baby, but I thought she's married to Shaw?" Brenton asked, givin' me a skeptical look, as he waited for Perry t'pass him the biscuits.
"She is married t'him, but I'm the one that knocked her up after they separated for a spell." I explained to the law clerk as he took the bread basket from Perry and grabbed a biscuit from it 'fore passin' it ov'r to Calvin, who looked a bit uneasy. Bet my brother felt uncomfortable wit' the dinner table conversation.
Perry Cline and Brenton shared a raised brow look. No doubt they were thinkin' somethin' bad 'bout Jessa. Mama had a nervous look on her face as her eyes darted back an' forth 'tween me an' poppy. All my brothers just nibbled at their dinner as they waited for poppy t'say somethin' nasty 'bout the love of my life.
Poppy shook his head an' cut off a piece of his pork while roughly tellin' me in a hard sneer, "See she's still a lyin' whore. Now she's just treatin' that Vance how she treated ya."
"Don't call Jessa a whore cause she ain't one an' if I hear ya call her one 'gain, I swear t'God poppy I won't be sittin' by silently twiddlin' my thumbs." I told my poppy, scoopin' up a spoonful of peas an' shovelin' them into my mouth.
"Son, I'll call that girl whatever I feel's fittin'. In my eyes a woman that bounces from man t'man, ones that're in a blood feud too, ain't nothin' more than a whore." Poppy spat out in a rough tone, practically dismissin' Jessa as nothin' more then filth.
"Damnit, poppy, don't call her that!" I ordered in a shout, slammin' my fist on the table after droppin' my spoon onto my plate. Hell, I'd regret punchin' the table later when m hand's all sore an' achin', but right now I was pissed an' didn't care. I just wanted poppy t'stop takin' 'bout Jessa like she was some trashy brothel whore when she wasn't.
"Don't holler an' order me 'round, Tolbert!" Poppy yelled at me, his veins bulgin' an' twitchin' in his neck. He took a deep breath 'fore tellin' me, "If ya don't like what I say in my own house then get the hell out."
"Oh, I'll gladly get out. Hell, I'm only here cause mama wants me 'ere, but believe me I'd rather be out on my own." I snapped 'fore risin' from the table an' stormin' outta the back door.
I slammed it shut behind me an' angrily marched 'cross my folks' land til I reached my own. My stormy eyes landed on the site o'my burned down house an' a shiver ran down my spine. The block foundation was the only thing that survived the fire last December that ravaged my house. My house that I'd built when I was a bit skittish 'bout courtship an' marriage, when I was tryin' to give Jessa 'nough space to make up her mind 'bout me while I worked thru my own feelin's for her. Hell, if only I knew then what I know now, well I'd nev'r would've pushed her 'way when she confessed her feelin's for me.
I dragged my feet ov'r to the foundation as memories o'buildin' the pile of ashes that was my house filed my head. I walked ov'r the pile o'wood ash that once was my front porch 'fore stoppin' at the block that was covered wit' burnt bits of wood. I dusted a spot off an' took a seat. My shoulders shook an' slumped as I sat on the only thing left o'my house.
My house had gone up in flames, only t'be turned into a pile of ash much like my relationship wit' Jessa had done. Like my house's foundation, we still had a base t'our relationship. We still shared a deep an' passionate love, one that had conceived the son we'd always longed for. But now I'm on the outside lookin' in cause I've done fucked ev'thin' up. Reckon all I can do is lurk an' watch ov'r my family from a distance. Well, at least til I save up more money an' think of a way to save Jessa and her chil'ren from the Vance Bastard an' his Hatfield kin.
Meanwhile Over In Mate Creek, WV…
Jessa POV:
The chatter was loud and cheerful around the large kitchen table in the Hatfield house. Everyone was crammed around the table, eating and conversing with ease. My headache had dulled a bit, so I was able to talk without flinching from pain. Of course, the sound of utensils scrapping against plates echoed in the air and effected my dull headache, but that was just a small price to pay for eating dinner in a large family setting.
"Are ya feelin' a'ight, Jessa?" Ellison asked me with a soft, but concerned look on his face before eating a spoonful of potatoes. The large younger brother of Devil Anse was very kind with just about everyone. Perhaps his kind nature was due to raising Cotton on his own (since you have to be patience and nice with a slow minded child)
"Yes, thank you for askin'." I politely answered the gentle giant even tho I was half-lyin' thru my teeth. I wasn't 'feelin' a'ight', but I also wasn't feeling like complete shit either.
"This pregnancy's been a bit rough on Jessa, but with rest and plenty of tea she's been dealin' with it." Shaw told Ellison (and in extant the entire dinner table), acting as if I wasn't next to him and could speak for myself.
"It's not any rougher than my last one, Shaw." I told my husband, earning me looks from everyone at the table, since I didn't feel that he needed to be making such a fuss over my hard pregnancy. Hell, it wasn't him that was sick every other day; who was bloated and gaining weight rapidly in order to carry the blessed miracle of life. It was me; I was the one suffering a rough pregnancy (that I've done once before) so he needed to calm down and stop talking about me as if I couldn't speak up for myself.
"Jessa, I understand your hormonal, but my son's just tryin' to be helpful and considerate of your condition." Sully told me in a fatherly tone that was also a bit berating before eating a piece of ham.
"Hell, Sully, shut your trap 'fore she bites your head off." Uncle Jim ordered Sully, causing my father-in-law to roll his eyes at him. "Hell, it's a known fact that some pregnant women turn into real bitches." The mountain man chuckled before shoving a forkful of food into his mouth.
"Jim…" Anse warned in a cold and hard tone while cutting a hard stare at the mountain man that was sitting next to my husband. Turning his attention to me, Devil Anse's look softened slightly as he told me, "Shaw told me the name you've got in mind. I think it's a fine name." I think he brought up the name as a way to change the subject; to calm me down too.
"Thank you, Anse." I nodded with a small smile in between eating my dinner.
"John's a good name, but Endor's stupid." Todd, my ever so blunt and rude brother-in-law snarkily remarked before eating a piece of ham.
"You've got no room to talk, Thaddeus." Shaw called out his brother on his own unique name (which sounded like it a name for a Roman soldier of ancient times and not a teen living in the 1880s) as he reached over and grabbed his glass of shine.
Yea, my husband's drinking again. Right now, it's only at dinner, but I imagine in time… Well, I'm not too thrilled about him drinking, but he won't listen to me 'bout it so…
"I was taken aback by Endor too at first, but it's grown on me and I really do think that Endor John's the right name for my baby." I admitted to everyone at the dinner table while nibbling on a biscuit.
"We're namin' our baby Sarah Elizabeth." Johnse blurted out, most likely to cut any tension that was rising up between me and my brother-in-law over the name of my unborn child.
Roseanna gave me a bright smile as she gushed, "Our babies are gonna grow up to be the best of friends."
I smiled at my dear friend while telling her, "Oh, yes, I'm sure of it. Endor John'll be like a brother to Sarah Elizabeth since we're so close."
"All this talk of chil'ren and family's very heartwarmin' and much needed." Levicy said in a syrupy sweet tone as she cut up some of her ham. Looking to her husband, she pressed for his opinion by simply inquiring with a lined smile, "Isn't that right, Anderson?"
Anse nodded before grabbing his cup of coffee from the table. He took a long sip as his eyes drifted over me and Shaw. His cold blue gaze lingered a bit on my husband, but I think that's cause Shaw was sitting in the seat that used to be Cap's. It was clear to me that Devil Anse missed his favorite son; that his absence left a whole in his heart. Shaw might think he can feel that hole, but I'm not so sure. Shaw's just a cousin, he'll never shine in Devil Anse's eyes the same way that Cap (his son) did.
"Yes, Levicy." Anse finally spoke up, his cup close to his mouth.
"I can't wait til the babies come. I'll be their friends an' help protect them." Cotton blurted out with a face splitting grin on his face, alleviating any and all tension that was swirling in the air.
Everyone just smiled and chuckled at Cotton's innocence and excitement. The rest of dinner seemed to be lighthearted after that.
AN:
Well, Sunday dinner was something else with both the Hatfields & the McCoys wasn't it? Since Roseanna was Randall's favorite child, I decided to make Tolbert Sally's favorite. Despite his hot-headedness and fiery temper, for some reason I picture him as Sally's favorite. How do you guys feel about Jessa picking out the name John for her son Endor's middle name as a way to link him to Tolbert? Shaw, he's a mischievous and cunning dude, isn't he?
Anyways, next up is a small-time jump.