*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.

Hate Thee With Perfect Hatred

Jessa POV:

I woke up feeling sore and achy. My body felt like I did yoga last night instead of sleeping with my husband. After our first round, we rested and I had drifted off to sleep only to be woken up by Shaw peppering kisses against my shoulder and running his hand up and down my side seductively. We ended up going two more rounds, each one more intense then the last. So, basically, I was exhausted and my muscles burned in places I never thought possible as I sat up and got out of bed.

I went over to my dresser and grabbed my shift from it. After pulling the cotton slip on I looked over my shoulder only to see my husband sleeping soundly. His face was in his pillow and had an arm lazily dangling off the bed. Shaw looked so peaceful in his sleep even tho I knew that in his waking hours he was anything, but. I warm, but thin smile crossed over my face as I turned around and took a dress out of my dresser. Quickly, I pulled the blue garment on over my head and took a pair of stockings out of the drawer. I carefully pushed the drawer shut, so I wouldn't wake up Shaw, and pulled on my stocking. I grabbed my shoes, slipped then on, and then went out into the kitchen to start on breakfast.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, I noticed that the front door was ajar and that a sliver of light was shinning into the entryway. Knowing my kids were too young to be up at such an hour, pity and dread filled my heart as I realized that Cotton must've taken off. I rushed up stairs like a mad woman in order to check on the boy, to confirm my gut feeling. Stopping in front of Cotton's room, I took a deep breath before opening the door only to find that the room was empty and the bed looked a bit wrinkled (like the boy had tossed and turned before getting up and taking off).

I ran down the hall, downstairs, and barreled into my bedroom. The sound of the door slamming open startled my husband, making him shoot up in bed like a bullet. "What's goin' on?" Shaw mumbled out as he blinked his eyes open, rubbing the sleep out of them with one of his fists.

"Cotton's gone. His bed doesn't really look slept in either."

"Damnit…" Shaw sighed. Slinging his legs over the edge of the bed and pushing himself up to stand, he told me, "He prolly went to the graveyard to see his daddy." Picking up his long-john pants from the floor and pulling them on, he assured me, "I'll go get him; talk to him too."

"Okay, but just go easy on him. He doesn't really understand everything that's going on." I told my husband while watching him go over to the corner and grab his pants off of the corner chair.

"Don't worry, babe, I'll go easy on him." Shaw pulled on his pants and grabbed his shirt. Quickly putting on his white button up, he told me, "Cotton's a good kid, I couldn't yell at him if I tried." Buttoning up his shirt, he admitted, "I just don't got it in me to snap or get frustrated with him." Grabbing his boots and taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he sighed, "I'm sure by time I bring him back you'll be done cookin' breakfast."

"Are you taking the wagon or walking?" I asked as he pulled on his boots, foregoing socks in order to dress faster.

"I'll walk." Shaw answered me, standing up to his full height. Walking over to my vanity, he grabbed a black ribbon and tied his hair back into a low manbun while telling me, "I think using the wagon might make him think he did something wrong instead of something spurred by grief."

"Oh." I simply nodded. Pointing to his hair, I complimented him with, "You look good with your hair pulled back."

"Glad ya think so, babe." He smirked, stopping right in front of me. Kissing me on the cheek, he simply said, "I'll be back, babe.", before walking out of our room.

I stepped into the kitchen only to see my husband grab his black Stetson off of the hook near the front door, shove it onto his head, and walk out the door.

Shaw POV:

I spotted Cotton kneeling on the ground right next to Ellison's wooden cross marker (that was his quick makeshift headstone) as I walked up the road that lead to the cemetery. The site gutted me. It was just so sad to see him sitting on his daddy's grave, mourning in an extreme way cause he couldn't fully understand why he was orphaned so suddenly.

I let out a sigh and veered off the road, cuttin' across the grassy graveyard til I reached Cotton. Kneeling down next to him on the dirt covered grave, I placed a gentle hand on Cotton's back. "Hey, buddy." I softly told him since I didn't want to scare him or make him feel bad. Poor kid's been thru enough as it is.

Lookin' up at me with red and puffy eyes, he revealed in a sad tone, "I miss my daddy."

"I know you do, Cotton." I told him, rubbing my thumb soothingly against his shoulder. "It's okay to miss him too, but next time if ya wanna come visit this spot to talk to him, bring flower, or whatever you need to tell me or Jessa so we can take you and pay our respects too."

"Oh…Okay…" He trailed off in a flat tone as his eyes fell onto his hands that were resting on his knees.

Pointing to my mom's headstone, I went on to say, "My mom's right over there. Even tho it happened 4-years 'go I still miss her." Giving Cotton a thin smile, I told him, "It's okay to miss somebody when they've died. It's natural to miss them too."

"Am I ever gonna be happy 'gain?" He asked, his eyes dull and full of pain.

"Yea, in time things'll get easier and you'll find happiness 'gain."

"How'd you get happy 'gain after your mommy died?"

"Honestly, I focused on my family. I had a brother and a sister to raise; I also had a girl and a baby I needed to watch out for." I told my cousin since I didn't have anything to hide. My family's what kept me goin', gave me a reason for livin'. "Don't worry, I'm sure helpin' Jessa with Endor, Silas, and Lydia'll help find happiness."

"I like helpin' with Endor. He's a good baby." Cotton smiled, his sadness disappearing for a small moment.

"I bet come next year you'll be helpin' Jessa tend to a new baby."

"Ya really think you'll have more babies?"

"Yea, don't see why not." I smirked. Well, with how me and my wife were fuckin' like bunnies last night I'm pretty sure we're gonna be having a baby sooner rather than later. Patting him on the shoulder I suggested, "Let's get back to the house. Jessa should have breakfast on the table soon."

"Okie dokie." Cottton nodded before standing up.

Silently, I stood up too. I wrapped an arm around Cotton's shoulders in a fatherly way and guided him away from the graves and down towards the road that'd eventually take us home.

Abel POV:

The atmosphere this afternoon was very solemn. Everyone that counted themselves as family, friends, and neighbors of the McCoys and the Belchers were present at the cemetery for the funerals of Pharmer, Bud, and Bobby. There was so many people gathered that you would've thought a famous person died instead of the sons of farmers. Up in the front row was Randall and Sally with their children all gathered around them. Calvin had an arm wrapped around his mother was she wept for her murdered sons. Jim, Lissa (his wife), and their children stood off to the side of Sally. The Belcher's lined up next to him, well at least the grieving parents did.

Billy was next to his father, a blank and emotionless look plastered on his face. It seemed like he was either in a state of shock or was bottlin' everything inside. I think it was the latter, especially since now he was face with the reality of having all, but two, of his older brothers murdered this year. Next to Billy was Squirrel and his girlfriend; next to her was Parris and his whore Jenny Lou and the last in line up front was my brother-in-law Jefferson, Sarah, and Mariah Wolford.

Alifair was standing next to my wife as we stood off slightly to the side. I had my daughter Harmony perched on my hip while listening to Reverend Garrett preach, "Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men."

Nancy had a hard look on her face as she spat, "Somebody oughtta do somethin' 'bout this. Ain't right that they got murdered."

"I know, Nance." I nodded, paying more attention to my wife then to the sermon.

Turnin' to Alifair, my wife informed her, "Same family that killed your brothers killed my pap."

Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee?" The reverend preached loudly while my wife was sharing words with her grieving cousin.

"I know, but I pray that my sister's husband wasn't amongst the men that killed our brothers." Alifair sighed sadly, her eyes locked onto the gravediggers that laid her brothers and their friend to rest 6-feet under.

"I hate themwith perfect hatred: I count themmine enemies." Reverend Garrett bellowed dramatically. Honestly, his sermon was a bit much for a funeral, but it is a feud event so…

"Her husband, Johnse Hatfield, was 'mongst 'em that murdered your brothers and neighbor." Nancy said matter-of-factly.

"I pray not."

"Likely tho."

"Likely." Alifair reluctantly agreed.

"Pharmer, Bud, and Billy were unjustly and cruelly murdered. Taken from this word too soon, but fear not cause the lord shall lift them up and welcome them into the promised land!"

"Everyone's forgettin' that Hatfields murdered our pap too." Jefferson drunkenly blurted out after takin' a long pull off his flask. Steppin' up he ranted on and on with, "Their reckonin's past due an' now it's time for collectin'. Hatfields need t'pay the price for what they've done. All the death they've caused us."

Sarah rushed over to Jefferson and grabbed his elbow while telling him, "Jeff, come on. Let's go."

"Hatfield's bill's ready for 'em. Somebody needs t'make those devils an' demons pay!" Jefferson ranted and raved while letting his common-law wife drag him to stand back in line.

Reverend Garrett looked a bit startled by my brother-in-law's outburst. So much so that he didn't say a word, just closed his bible and silently gave Calvin a look that signaled it was time to place some dirt onto the grave of the boys. Calvin just nodded and helped his mother walk over to the graves. As soon as they stopped in front of Pharmer's (which was right next to Tolbert's grave) the preacher's daughter broke thru the crowd and rushed over to their side. Calvin gave her a questioning look, to which just just smiled and nodded. Reverend Garrett's eyeballs popped out of his head while he watched his daughter help Calvin and Sally McCoy bend down and collect some dirt; tossing it into Pharmer's grave.

Calvin and Miss Garrett guided Sally over to Bud's grave only for her to collapse and cry out in a very heartbroken and shrill way. Instantly, Calvin helped his mother up and the preacher's daughter said some soothing words to her.

Randall, upset by the situation, just put his hat on his head and stalked off. Perry Cline, who was standing off to the side by a tree near the graves, quickly held his hat out and began rushing over to people that were leaving; asking them for donations to help the grieving McCoy and Belcher families with.

"Ready to go, hun?" I asked my wife as Alifair departed her side.

Nancy's chest got tight and she grinded her teeth as she watched the gravediggers shovel dirt into the graves. Turning to me, she nodded, "Yes, Abel, let's go home." Right as I placed my hand on the small of her back to led her away, she held her hands out and ordered, "Give me Harmony. I wanna hold her." I didn't say a word, just handed my daughter over to my wife.

Nancy held Harmony close as I led us down the grassy hill and over to our wagon that was parked on the side of the road, which was turned into a makeshift parking lot on both sides due to the amount of people gathered for the funerals.

Roseanna POV:

"How's my beautiful sweet darlin' doin'?" Johnse asked me, sittin' down on our bed an' handin' me a bowl of oats.

I didn't say a word, just shrugged and took the bowl from him. What was I s'posed t'say? I was hurtin' really bad an' he knew that. My brothers are dead at the hands of his family an' my poppy hates me; says I'm dead to him.

"Roseanna, I know you're heartsick. I am too, but ya can't stay in bed all day." Johnse softly told me while placin' a hand on my back. Rubbin' soothin' circles thru the fabric of my nightgown, he told me, "Sarah Elizabeth needs her mama to care for her. I can't be the caregiver, I know nothin' 'bout tendin' to a house or baby."

I wasn't hungry and didn't wanna be bothered wit' my husband right now, even tho I did love him. I just wanted to be alone. Just wanted to curl up in bed an' cry til I feel asleep. Settin' the bowl of oatmeal onto my bedside table, I sighed, "I just wanna be 'lone right now, Johns."

"Are ya sure, Rosie?" He asked with love and concern heavy in his eyes.

"I'm sure. I just need some more time 'lone."

Johnse nodded and stood up. "I'll be out in the other room wit' lil Sarah Elizabaeth." He told me 'fore walkin' out of our bedroom.

I just whimpered as I heard the door shut close before him. I laid down, my head crashin' onto my pillow, and pulled the quilt over my shoulders. I curled up and cried for the loss of Pharmer, Bud, Bobby Belcher, Uncle Ellison, and the father/daughter relationship I once had wit' my poppy.

Johnse POV:

"Well, lil darlin', it's just you and me right now cause mama's grievin' real bad." I told my year-old daughter, scoopin' her out of the wooden play pin I had her in. "I hope she'll let me comfort her soon, but too much's happen too fast so she's in the other room while we're out here." I told my daughter, even tho she didn't know what the hell I was sayin', as I went over to a chair and took a seat. "Things are hard right now, Sarah Elizabeth, but in time all this trouble should fae 'way." I sighed, more or less trying to convince myself that things'll get better instead of worse, as I patted my daughter's back.

Oh god, I hope the trouble 'tween the families stops. My heart can't handle seein' my wife so grieved an' heartsick like this. I swear, if anymore killin' and murderin's happen I'm packin' my family the hell up an' headin' West 'way from everything an' everyone.

AN:

Well, how many of you guys are shocked that Shaw has a soft side? Like what?! And the funeral for the McCoy boys and Belcher was solemn, of course.

Next up will be a small time jump along with Allie pleading her case to Jessa about taking Cotton.