*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.

No Feliz Navidad?

Tolbert POV:

"Why didn't ya tell me that our brothers gone done murdered Ellison? Hmm?" I asked my sister and brother-in-law as soon as I set foot inside of their small cabin.

"So, uh, Jessa told ya then?" Johnse asked, lookin' ov'r at me from his seat in his sittin' chair.

"Yes, she told me." Why wouldn't she? I narrowed my eyes at both my sister and brother-in-law, who had his lil girl on his lap, as I quickly crossed the room.

"Poor judgement, Senor Johnse and Senorita Roseanna, in not telling Senor Tolbert that large detail. It changes everything 'bout this entire bounty mess." Jose Luis shook his head, givin' the blondes pointed looks, as I took a seat next t'him (squishin' him in 'tween me an' Roseanna) on the sofa.

"It doesn't change the fact that my family, but not me cause I shot overhead, illegally shot the Pharmer, Bud, and Bobby Belcher in a firin' squad. Murdered 'em" Johnse said, tryin' to make his family out as worse than my brothers an' their friend murderin' a guy cause his kin tied 'em up to some pawpaws an enacted posse justice on 'em. God, why was he even' turnin' on his own for? Was it cause he's married t'my sister? Hmm, must be.

They better be careful in who they talk to cause neither family's gonna want 'em by how easy he's flippin' on his family; her too.

I let out a deep scoff. Rollin' my eyes, I bluntly remarked, "Clearly, ya ain't ev'r been out west, cause it makes a damn diff'rence. What happened t'em where I now live's considered posse justice or lynch mob justice. It happens when the law's either corrupt or ain't available t'be involved." Roseanna and Johnse's blue eyes were as wide as saucers as they took in ev'rthin' I just said. Hell… Sometimes I think the stairs don't go all the way up to the attic wit' those two. No wonder they got married. I let out a sigh and pinched the bridge o'my nose 'fore askin', "So, what one is it in this case?"

Roseanna didn't say a word, but Johnse did. While he bounced Sarah Elizabeth on his knee, he shrugged an' told me in his 'dumb feller' voice, "I dunno, daddy an' Uncle Wall didn't think the Kentucky courtroom could do justice so they took the boys; had 'em locked up in the barn til bringin' 'em to the schoolhouse to say goodbye to Roseanna an' their mamas."

"The problem's the Kentucky law." Jose Luis said matter-of-factly in his thick Spanish accent.

"I dunno 'bout that." Roseanna softly spoke up in defense of Pike County's legal system. One I'm sure is corrupt since Perry Cline's at the helm of it. Eh, I nev'r liked the family lawyer much even tho he's kin… Okay, well, I don't like many folks at all, but still I nev'r really liked Lawyer Cline.

"If Kentucky law weren't the problem, Senor, then the Hatfields wouldn't have done posse justice." Jose Luis said matter-of-factly wit' a know-it-all look on his round age worn face.

"Hell…" I sighed, holdin' my head. Liftin' my head up, I pointed 'tween my sister an' her dumbass husband while tellin' 'em, "Ya'll are too nice t'be pulled into our families' feudin'; can come find me in El Paso if ya want an' if ya ev'r feel the need t'get outta here."

"That's mighty kind of ya, Tolbert, but why're you offerin' to put us up? I thought ya didn't like me none." Goddamnit, how is he so goddamn dumb? I'm sure that mush head bastard Cotton Top's got more common sense then Johnse does.

"I don't like ya none, Johnse, but I do care 'bout my sister an' my niece's wellbein'." I told my brother-in-law in a gruff, but bluntly honest tone.

Johnse nodded and made a small oh face 'fore assurin' me, "Don't worry, Tolbert, we'll find ya if we have too."

"Good, at least ya got some wits 'bout ya."

"Jessa's got wits, but she's just too wrapped up in Shaw. Maybe if ya press her more she'll see reason." Johnse advised me, talkin' me aback since I nev'r thought he'd try t'give me advice or turn on his cousin. Hell, he really is a target in this feud wit' how he's so easily ready t'damn his own blood.

"Yea…s'pose so." I sighed heavily. God, these next few days I'm here are gonna be long…

Jose Luis shot me a look that expressed he thought we were surrounded by idiots. I couldn't agree more, which I why I shared an 'I know' type look wit' him. At least the Mexican cook'll keep me sane while I'm holed up wit' my naïve sister an' her dumbass husband.

Jessa POV:

I was still reelin' from Tolbert's surprise visit. I still couldn't believe that he was alive. I spent so long blaming myself for his death and it turns out he never died, just pretended to in order to get away from Shaw. Oh god, of course Shaw would be jealous of Tolbert; want him dead too.

True to my word, once I went back inside of the house I grabbed a photo of Endor (a small one I knew wouldn't be missed) and tucked it into a Christmas card, addressed it to Roseanna, and stuck it in the mailbox for Fred Wolford to pick up when he made his daily rounds. Cotton had no idea what I was doing since he was too occupied with watching and playing with the kids. He was so kindhearted and loved helping me with the kids. He was a godsend when I had to go outside to do a chore, since Cotton was able to stay inside and watch my herd of babies. A herd I'm afraid'll be growing soon.

I went about my day doing housework and spent some time playing and reading with the children (Cotton included) until it was time to make dinner. I made a simple dinner of fried salt pork and potatoes since I spent a lot of time earlier in the kitchen baking Endor's birthday cake and was a bit tired. I was setting the table while Cotton was watching the kids whenever Todd and Shaw came home.

Looking over to the front door, I simply asked, "How was work?", while they took off their hats; hanging them up on the rack.

"It was good. I liked bein' back at the livery for a bit." Shaw told me, removing his jacket and hanging it up while Todd did the same.

"That's good." I simply told him as he made his way into the main room with his brother right behind him. "So, are you going to quit working at the lumber mill then?" I curiously asked as Shaw stopped by Cotton.

"Hey, Buddy, why don't 'cha help me get the kids settled 'round the table for dinner." Shaw smiled at Cotton while Todd just snatched up Lydia and continued on his way towards the kitchen.'

"Okie dokie." Cotton eagerly nodded before standing up and bringing Endor over to his highchair.

"No, I'll be going back to work at the lumber mill once the holidays are over and Devil Anse opens it up again." Shaw told me, picking up Silas and making his way into the kitchen all the while the small boy in his arms just smiled at him; cheerfully saying, "Daddy, Cotton played wit' us and Mama read to us t'day."

"Wow, sounds like a great day there, buddy." Shaw exclaimed while I poured everyone some milk.

Cotton helped Endor into his highchair while Todd placed Lydia into the chair next to his. God, without Cotton and Todd's help I'm sure dinner time would be a nightmare since I had three toddlers. Oh god, the number of kids would only grow next year too. Lord, help me.

I was shaken out of my mental thoughts whenever Shaw took his seat at the head of the table, after setting up Silas in his seat, and told me, "Well, this sure is a simple meal. Cooking too much of a task in your delicate condition these days?"

"What?" I asked, my indigo eyes slight wide as the meaning of my husband's question washed over me. He can't know, can he?

"Jessa, babe, I know we're expecting. The sheets have been spotless this month." He smirked while scooping a large serving of fried pork and potatoes onto his plate.

Of course, he noticed. "Yes, I'm expecting." I confirmed, since there was no reason to lie about it, while I made up a plate for Endor.

"Oh, Jessa's gonna have a baby?!" Cotton exclaimed, nearly busting everyone's eardrums from how loud and high pitched his voice was, as a shining look of excitement and happiness appeared on his face.

"Yes, Cotton, I'm gonna have a baby." I confirmed with a smile, one that didn't quite reach my eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I truly was blessed to be pregnant again, but considering everything going on in my life right now this may not be the best time.

Allie POV:

The last few weeks have been hard for my family. Skunk Hair's death was a wound that was festerin' and oozing puss instead of healin' and scabbing over. Everyone was still shaken up by what happened to him. It was so gruesome and violent, the way he died, and he didn't deserve that. The fact that Bad Frank scalped Skunk Hair and hid him under a tree unsettled all of us in the Hatfield clan. Hell, even Shaw seemed offish about the death which was something else since that black hearted man usually doesn't get stirred up over anything.

So far this holiday season's been marred with death and sorrow, but since today was Christmas everyone was gathered at my in-laws' house to try and salvage some kind of holiday spirit. The cheerfulness that usually accompanied large family gatherin's wasn't in the air today. It was still too soon after Skunk Hair's death for anyone to be truly jolly and joyful. Everyone seemed melancholy today, given that it was the first holiday with Skunk Hair.

Much like every other family gathering, the women were in the kitchen cookin' while the men were scattered around outside on the porch or in chairs in the main room. The kids were outside playing, having fun in the winter snow. Cotton, like always, was outside playing with the kids.

Me and my husband gave up our desire to take care of Cotton (even tho he prolly needs us) cause we had to help Vera with her kids and household since she's been in a deep mournin' and depressive state even since Skunk Hair's funeral. Every mornin' before work Cap always checked in on her and every day, I'd stop by to talk and to bring her something sweet (like a pie or cookies) for her and the kids to have for dessert. It's sad to say, but Vera and the kird just outrank Cotton right now when it comes to needing me and Cap's support. I just pray that he's okay with Jessa and Shaw.

Talk about Jessa, she was over at the stove with Roseanna, making rice pudding and gossiping like a couple of giddy school girls. I don't know what they were whispering about, but whatever it was it seemed to be something that had them on real friendly terms. Gosh, I mean I hadn't seen them this close since before Tolbert got murdered by Shaw.

"I see they're back on good terms." Vera observed, pointin' her paring knife towards Jessa and Roseanna.

"I'm happy they're friendly again. Durin' these hard and depressin' times they need to be on right terms." Levicy wisely remarked, a soft hint of a lined smile on her face, as she peeled potatoes.

"I never thought they'd be friends 'gain after Tolbert's death, but reckon I was wrong." I honestly told my dear friend and my mother-in-law as I grabbed another potato to peel.

Jessa POV:

I could feel the eyes of the other women staring holes in my back as I helped Roseanna make rice pudding; talking to her in hush-hushed tones and whispers about Tolbert. I wasn't planning on talking to her about him, but shortly after she asked me to help her with the rice pudding, she started whispering about him. Roseanna was overjoyed that he was alive and doing well as a ranch hand in South Texas. The fact that he was alive mended the slight rift that was between us.

"My brother's so happy 'bout gettin' the photo of Endor. He beams wit' pride every time he looks at it." Roseanna told me, a light smile on her face, as she stirred the rice pudding so it wouldn't stick.

"Has he left yet?" I asked, curious to know if Tolbeert was sticking around or not. I was hoping that he was on his way back to Texas since staying in the Tug could prove tricky and dangerous for him.

"No." Roseanna shook her head. I furrowed my brows, causing her to quickly add in, "But he plans on leavin' tomorrow with his friend, Jose Luis."

"That's good." I whispered, relieved that he was leaving the Tug River Valley; going back to the safety of South Texas.

"You want him to leave?" Roseana asked, a frown on her face, as she stirred the pot bubbling on the stove.

No. Yes. No. Yes. "Yes, since him staying'll be too risky."

"Oh, yes, I suppose you're right 'bout that. The longer he stays the more he's got a chance of bein' seen."

"Exactly, which is why tomorrow morning you'll insist that he gets going after breakfast." I told Roseanna, causing her to just nod and promise me that she'd do as ordered.

Meanwhile At Johnse & Roseanna's Small Cabin…

Tolbert POV:

Since Roseanna, Johnse, and my niece Sarah Elizabeth was at Devil Anse's for Christmas, I was stuck 'lone in the small cabin wit' Jose Luis. There wasn't much in the pantry or the meat chest, but there was 'nough for me t'make a decent stew. God, when my dumbass brother-in-law gets back, I'm gonna have a talk wit' him 'bout keepin' more food in the house. Hell, at least I know how to make stew; if not we'd be goin' hungry. Okay, maybe not since Jose Luis is a cook, but anyways I just feel like a country stew's the only thing t'make wit' what lil food my sister has in her kitchen.

"Senor Tolbert, are you sure you want to cook the Christmas meal?" The Mexian cook, who was the cloest thing I've got to a friend these days, asked from his spot at the small kitchen table while I cut up some carrots at the table. The ounters were too small to use for preppin', so the table it is. Damn, Johnse needs t'remodel this small kitchen. Shit, when I built my cabin I made sure the kitchen was a decent size; Jessa nev'r had no problems navigatin' it an' cookin' in it either.

Damn, how I truly miss those days when me, Jessa, an' Silas lived in our modest cabin as a family. Shit, if only I would've named that boy as Silas Elliott McCoy instead of Silas Elliott George on that damn census, then we'd still be a family. We'd have Endor too.

"Yes, Jose Luis, I'm fine wit' makin' a quick stew." I assured the cook, who I'm sure feels out of place watchin' somebody cook instead of doin' it himself.

"Lucky there's enough in the kitchen for that. Your sister's cupboards are a bit bare."

Shakin' my head, I trailed off in a long sigh, "Yea, well, her husband's a piss-poor shiner whose whiskey tastes like warm piss so…"

"Ah…" Jose Luis nodded.

"Roseanna didn't marry smart, but she married for love. I'll give her that." I honestly remarked, placin' the last of the cut carrots into a bowl 'fore grabbin' an onion an' gettin' to work peelin' the thing.

"You sound bitter, Senor Tolbert, that your sister's married to her lover, but you're not with your lovely Senorita." Jose Luis stated the obvious as I tossed the onion skin aside; pickin' up my knife an' choppin' the white strong smellin' ball in half.

"No, I'm fuckin' peachy. Of course, I'm bitter. Hell, any normal person would be too." I scoffed, quickly choppin' up the onion. Its strong smell went up my nose an' danced 'round my eyes, threatenin' to make 'em spill tears.

"This isn't a Feliz Navidad for you, is it?"

"A Feli-Navi-what?" I asked, confused since I nev'r heard that phrase 'fore, as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand t'dry the tears that the onions had leakin' outta from stormy eyes.

"A Merry Christmas, Senor Tolbert." Jose Luis told me as I regained my composure. God, how I hate onions. Useless things. Only thing the're good for is bringin' on a cryin' jag.

"No, I s'pose it's not." I agreed wit' the cook's early remark as I went back to choppin' up that damn onion.

"Perhaps next year will be better." Jose Luis suggested, his thick Spanish accent holdin' a sense of empathy in it.

"Maybe." I nodded.

I truly hope so cause I don't know how many more miserable Christmases I can take.

The day after Christmas was usually filled wit' eatin' leftover sweets an' pastries for breakfast, but not for me. I decided to leave Jose Luis at Johnse an' Roseanna's so that I could go see Jessa; try t'get her to run 'way wit' me one last time 'fore I had to head back to El Paso. I pray that she comes wit' me cause if not, well my boy's gonna be in danger an' I'm gonna have t'make another long trip 'ere in time to see her 'gain.

The ride to Jessa's cabin, which was lavishly built by Shaw, wasn't too far from my sister's place. Hell, his cabin more or less resembled a large fine house in town instead of a log cabin nestled in the Appalachian Mountain range. My cabin, which has long been burnt to the ground, was large an' nicely built, but Shaw's architecture had mine beat. Hmm, I wonder if the fine house is somethin' that keeps Jessa rooted there, other than her chil'ren an' vow t'Shaw.

I knew that Shaw an' his brother would be off at work, so I wasn't worried 'bout runnin' into them. I reckon I had t'worry 'bout Cotton, but as I understood he was always watchin' the lil ones, so he might not pay me any mind. Cotton was also a mush head, so if he was told to keep somethin' a secret I bet he would. Eh, if Jessa agreed to come 'way wit' me I wouldn't be worryin' 'bout Cotton keepin' my visit a secret since he'd be comin' long wit' us an' the chil'ren since I knew Jessa'd nev'r leave him b'hind. She cared for that slow bastard a if he was her own, just like she'd taken on Lydia as her own daughter ev'n tho the girl wasn't.

When I rode up to the cabin, I could see Jessa enterin' the barn that was located a small distance 'hind the house. It was large, I'd say twice the size of an average barn. It was painted red too. Of course, Shaw had'a draw attention to his barn. Fuckin' prick.

Her bein' in the barn doin' chorse was perfect, meant I'll be able to talk t'her alone wit'out worryin' 'bout anyone seein' me. Oh, my luck's good so far t'day. So, after hitchin' Eldorado up to the hitch-post, I hurried ov'r to the barn.

When I pushed the door aside, a loud creekin' echo filled the air. Neighs of horses an' the moos of cows sounded out 'long wit' Jessa's voice sayin' in a sweet, but beratin' way, "Cotton, I told ya I'll feed the animals. You need to stay inside with the kids."

Closing the barn door, I simply stated, "I'm not Cotton, sweetheart."

"Tolbert?!" She exclaimed in a gasp, jumpin' slightly outta her skin an' droppin' the bucket of oats she had in her hand.

"Yea, it's me." I confirmed, walkin' further into the barn so that she could see me.

Walkin' towards me, she asked, "You're here to say goodbye?", even tho it sounded a bit like a statement. A knowin' one too.

"Yea." I nodded as we stopped right in front of each other. Grabbin' her hip an' pullin' her flush 'gainst my chest, I stared into her indigo eyes an' truthfully told her, "But I also wanna ask ya t'come 'way wit' me 'gain."

"Tolbert, I can't…" Jessa heavily sighed, her eyes full of sorrow.

"Yea, ya can, Jessa. We'll just hitch up yer wagon, load ya an' the chil'ren in an' leave. We'll take Cotton too."

"Tolbert-" She began, ready t'protest an' argue wit' me, but I cut her off by pressin' a hard an' fiery kiss to her lips. Her protests was lost an' all she let out was a small moan as her lips began t'move 'gainst mine in a fierce an' needy kiss.

I wrenched my lips from her, makin' Jessa pout an' whine in protest. My stormy eyes were ablaze wit' lust, want, love, an' need as I looked at her an' begged, "Say you'll come 'way wit' me, Jessa. Say it, sweetheart, please."

Jessa looked up at me wit' so many emotions swimmin' in her indigo eyes, her lush lips were slightly swollen from our bruisin' kiss, as what I said sank into her head. Slowly, she nodded her head an' let out a soft, "Okay. Okay, Tolbert, we'll go."

Goddamn, hearin' her say that made my heart soar. Gosh, it's the best thing I've heard in a while. "Oh, God, I love ya. I love ya, love ya so much, Jessa." I gushed, pullin' Jessa back into a searin' an' hungry kiss. A kiss she quickly reciprocated. She was hungry an' needy for me as her lips pressed hard 'gainst mind, pullin' an' tuggin' as our tongues twined t'gether t'deepen the kiss in a more intimate way.

All I could think 'bout was the pressin' need I had for Jessa, spurrin' me to hoist her up (causin' her to instinctively wrap her legs 'round my waist) an' lean her back 'gainst a nearby beam. She let out a breathy moan, realizin' what I wanted. Well, what she wanted too by how eagerly she was clawin' my back an' tuggin' at my lower lip as we kissed. Our kiss was so deep an' intoxicatin' that I had'a pull back for air, otherwise our lungs might just collapse.

I rested my forhead 'gainst hers, catchin' my breath. Her hands greedily roamed my upper body as she kissed an' sucked on my adama's apple, shovin' my suspenders down my shoulders. Goddamnit, I needed this woman so bad an' it seems she feels that same way 'bout me. Jessa might've been married to that Vance Bastard, but it was me she really wanted.

It'll always be me that she wants too.

I let out a deep, rumblin' moan from the back of my throat as Jessa hastily unbuckled my belt an' unbuttoned my pants. When she looked up at me wit' lust in her eyes I knew it was time for me to shove my pants 'bound my knees, hike her skirt up, an' take the plunge into her. Wit' her skirts bunched up ov'r her thighs, I braced myself my pressin' my palm flat up 'gainst the beam 'bove Jessa's head while I held onto her hip, tightly, wit' the other. One of her hands grasped my shoulders, nails diggin' into it hard thru the cotton fabric of my shirt an' undershirt, while she hastily guided me into her wit' her other hand.

We both let out guttural moans as I bottomed out inside of her wet, tight warmth. It only took a second or so 'fore I was quickly ruttin' 'gainst her. Jessa let out breath moans as her back pressed 'gainst the beam while clung her arms 'round my neck, holdin' onto me for dear life as I bucked like a mad man. God, it's been so long since I've truly been wit' her, been inside her in a lust an' passion fueled bough of love makin'. The last time we made love she got pregnant wit' Endor; maybe this time she'll get pregnant 'gain. I wouldn't mind havin' 'nother child. Least not wit' her, but I would mind havin' one wit' a whore (like Mindy) out west.

Our pace was hasty an' needy as we clung t'each other. We came undone t'gether, our names tumblin' off of each other's tongues. I was pantin' as she unwrapped her legs from 'round my waist only t'wobbily plant them on the ground. Even tho she was standin', Jessa's arms were still wrapped 'round my neck. I just smirked lazily at her an' nibbled at her neck. "Think maybe we've gotten pregnant 'gain?" I asked, nibblin' right below her earlobe.

It was as if I poured a bucket of ice water ov'r her head, her indigo eyes went wide an' she jumped up in s'prise. She backed 'way from me wit' a look of pure terror on her face. Tremblin', she told me, "Ya gotta go, Tolbert."

Pullin' up my red long-john's an' my dark brown britches I simply told her, "Yea, I know, darlin'. Remember, we're gonna hitch a wagon, load ya an' all the chil'ren up t'go wit' me."

Shakin' her head, she told me in a regretful tone, "I'm so sorry, Tolbert, but I can't go."

"What'd ya mean ya can't go? Ya just told me ya would few minutes 'go."

"I know what I told you and I meant it at the time, but…" But what? What could've made her change her goddamn mind so damn fast? Jessa took a deep breath 'fore revealin', "I'm pregnant, Tolbert, nearly a couple months 'long. Shaw knows, figured it out on his own, and he'll never let me leave him."

O'course she's pregnant, she's married to the Vance Bastard so she's sharin' his bed ev'ry nite. Damn…she would be afraid to leave cause of bein' pregnant.

"We'll be far 'way from here in El Paso, Texas, sweetheart. They'll be no need t'fear him findin' us, Jessa, cause he won't." I assured her, my gruffy tone a bit soft an' smooth, as I tucked a stray strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

"He won't, but he'll send that Pinkerton turned bounty hunter Bad Frank after me. Nobody's safe from him."

"Jessa-" I started, my smooth gruff timbre a bit soft an' low, only t'get frantically cut off by her screechin', "Bad Frank killed and scalped Skunk Hair for a $250 dollar bounty; only god knows what he'd do if Shaw gives him enough money and a bottle of Kentucky Bourbon! I can't take that risk of being hunted down, of having you and my kids put in danger cause of my husband's possessive need for his new baby!" Sobbing, she stuttered, "I want to go with you, but I can't. I just can't."

I pulled her into me, gently rubbin' her back. "Sshh, Jessa, sshh." She was shakin', but attemptin' to calm down by takin' a few deep breaths. "Calm down, sweetheart. Yer no good to the chil'ren all worked up in a tizzy."

Jessa nodded 'gainst my chest, lettin' out a lil sniffle as she wiped at her eyes. When she was calmed down, she backed away from me. Her head hung low, so low that her chin was touchin' her chest, as she told me, "I'm sorry, Tolbert, but you need to go."

"I know." I heaved out in a painful, but heavy sigh. God, I didn't want to leave tho. Not after findin' out that Bad Frank scalped Skunk Hair for a measly $250 bounty. Holy shit, that Pinkerton's a soulless heathen actin' like an injun; no wonder Jessa's scared to death to leave wit' me. That Vance Bastard knows that heathen Pinkerton all too well.,

"I love ya, Jessa." I pressed a chaste, but lovin', kiss to her cheek. "I'll be back to check up on ya. I promise." I told her 'fore pivotin' on my heel an' stalkin' off towards the barn door. My shoulders were slumped and my heart was bleedin' for my lovely Senorita, my Jessa, my ex-common-law wife that I wanted to turn back into my common-law wife.

Jessa POV:

My lip trembled and I let out a tiny sob as I watched Tolbert walk out of the door. It hurt seeing him leave. Having him alive, connecting with him, and not being able to have him was worse than him being dead. At least with him dead I could suppress and be in denial about any and all feelings I had for him, but with him alive I had to deal with the Pandora's box that was my heart full of feelings, wishes, and regrets when it came to that man with the ginger curls.

I let out a shaky breath before tending to the barn chores. After finishing up feeding the livestock, I returned to the house only to find Cotton on the floor reading a children's book to the kids. Looking at all of them happily gathered on the floor, I felt a pang of guilt course thru my veins as I thought about the life they were stuck in (living in the middle of a blood feud) and a life that they could've had (living out west on a ranch in Texas away from fighting and clashing families) if not for me being knocked up by my husband again.

Oh lord, if it wasn't for my pregnancy, I would've packed up the kids and ran away with Tolbert. Damnit, I would be pregnant right now. Talk 'bout bad timing.

At least I know that Shaw's fierce and loyal to me and the kids; Cotton too and that he'd do everything he possibly can to protect us. At least I know that I'll survive this feud with him, but the thing is I'd rather not have to live thru the hellfire I read about in Sully's American history class.

AN:

Well, this chapter was all over the place wasn't it? What do you think about Jessa's choise? Was it a smart one or not? I know, she's a bit wishy washy when it comes to Tolbert and Shaw, but that's just her character flaw, plus she's still young so… Anyways, who do you think she truly loves: Tolbert or Shaw?

I plan on doing a small time jump in the next chapter along with some much-needed bonding time between Sully and Shaw, which you know'll go over splendidly… Yep, I'm totally being sarcastic. LOL.