This chapter is the follow up to chapter 61. After Hannah's mom dies, she receives support from Harry, Luna, and Susan. My next update to this thread will be the birthday themed chapter mentioned in the previous chapter. I'm shooting to then follow up the Romilda punishment chapter in very late February or early March.
Hannah Abbott returned to Hogwarts with a broken heart.
A week prior, Hannah had been pulled from Herbology to be informed that her mom had been found dead.
Hannah had taken a week at home with her dad and was now returning to Hogwarts after her mom's funeral.
While it seemed likely that Hannah's mom had been murdered by Death Eaters, the crime scene hadn't produced any evidence as to what had happened and nor had the autopsy. Wizarding Authorities were sure that Avada Kedavra had been used but were none the wiser about who might have done it.
Hannah, for her part, didn't much care what happened to them. She wasn't one for vengeance and revenge.
However, she was still grieving and was now quietly sitting in an armchair by the fire in the Hufflepuff Common, her mind numb and her heart heavier than platinum. The features on her face depicted a very sad girl and most of the Hufflepuffs, such as Ernie, Justin, and Megan were content to leave Hannah alone and give Hannah her space.
However, when Zacharias Smith saw a few tears sliding down Hannah's cheeks, Zacharias approached Hannah and said loudly with a mean laugh, "Ah, look here, this pathetic excuse of a person is crying in our common room!" Zacarias proceeded to do a gross impersonation of mock crying.
Hannah, wounded to the core by having her grief made fun of, hid her face in her hands as the rate of her tears increased.
Susan, who had witnessed the whole thing from her own armchair, stood up, galloped up to Zacarias in a horselike trot, and punched him hard in the face.
"You! Foul bloated evil little cockroach!" piped up Susan very angrily, "You NEVER mock or make fun of someone's grief and loss. Ever. You are a disgrace to the name of Hufflepuff and I am ashamed to have you as a housemate and a classmate. "
"I'm going to tell Professor Sprout that you punched me!" threatened Zacarias.
"You do that," said Susan calmly, "And I'll show her my memory of what has happened tonight. She'll back me up when she finds out how callous you've been to Hannah."
Zacarias stood up and left the common room. Susan suspected that Zacarias was in fact going to Professor Sprout and decided that she'd worry about that later.
She had more urgent business to attend to.
Susan now went up to her dorm and retrieved a quill and her ink and parchment from her trunk and tore two pieces off of it.
Susan now sat down at her desk and wrote two separate notes. The first read:
Dear Harry:
Would you please come up to the Room of Requirement and meet with me, Luna, and Hannah? Hannah needs our help in dealing with the loss of her mom.
Thank you in advance!
-Susan.
The second note simply reversed the names Harry and Luna.
Susan walked back down to the common room and gently tapped Hannah on the shoulder.
"Hannah?" asked Susan politely, "Would you please come with me? I think it would be helpful for you to talk to people who can relate to your sense of loss and I've asked two others to join us in the Room of Requirement."
Hannah nodded and quietly stood up and followed Susan to the 7th floor where Harry and Luna were already waiting for them.
Harry walked past the door three times thinking, "I need to talk to Susan, Luna, and Hannah in a place where only the four of us can enter." After the third time, a door appeared and Harry pulled it open and walked inside. Susan, Hannah, and Luna trailed him inside and when Luna shut the door, it locked of its own accord and a distinct locking sound was heard.
The white Ashley Furniture sofa that Harry, Susan, and Luna had sat on at the start of the semester was back but expanded in size to hold four people instead of three.
Harry, Luna, Susan, and Hannah all sat down in a row on the sofa and it was Hannah who spoke first.
"Susan, thank you for seeking to help me through my grief and thank you Harry and Luna for agreeing to come along," said Hannah sincerely.
"Have the Hufflepuffs been nice to you upon your return to Hogwarts?" Harry asked Hannah.
"Most of them have," said Hannah fairly, "Though Zacarias Smith made a spectacle of mocking and making fun of me for crying."
"Little shitbird!" spat Harry bitterly, "Zacarias is very lucky I wasn't there because I might have punched him in the face if I'd witnessed that!"
"I did just that," said Susan bluntly, "He threatened to tell Professor Sprout that I punched him, but if he does, I'm going to show Professor Sprout my memory of exactly what happened and she'll know how cruel Zacarias was to Hannah."
"Let's get on with talking things over with Hannah," interjected Luna.
"So," admitted Hannah, "I've been crying a lot lately. I've heard different things about crying. I've heard, "Big girls don't cry," and "Crying is weak," and I've also heard "Crying is healthy," I'm not sure what the truth is."
"Hannah," said Harry clearly, "Listen to me very carefully. Crying is healthy, but it is not only healthy but it is also necessary. Sometimes, you NEED to expel emptions out of you, lest they bottle up inside of you and destroy you from the inside."
"That's the same advice Harry gave me when we talked about my Aunt Amelia's death, " explained Susan, "And I've found that he was right. Every time I've cried I've felt better afterwards, as though some poisonous venom was being painfully extracted from me, but I've always felt so much better after I've finished. In fact, I can honestly say that I've been coping with the loss of Aunt Amelia much better since the school year began because I've allowed myself to cry more after my talk with Harry and Luna on the night the new semester started."
"We as a society need to become more understanding and accepting of emotions," said Luna, displaying her trait of speaking uncontrollable truths, "By stigmatizing crying, we've stigmatized humanity. I lost my mom in a tragic accident when I was nine and I still very feel sad about it sometimes."
"Is there any pattern to when these feelings flair up?" Hannah asked Luna.
"No," answered Luna clearly, "And that's a key point. You'll never be able to fully predict when your emotions might rise up out of you. What comes comes and you have to meet it when it does."
"When I was home," revealed Hannah, "There were times when I was in denial. I would look at mom's favorite chair and still expect to see her sitting in it."
Harry, Luna, and Susan all nodded in understanding.
"I know how you feel there, Hannah," said Harry gently, "My godfather, Sirius Black, was killed by Bellatrix Lestrange in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. When I took the Hogwarts Express back on September 1st, I still expected to see Sirius see me off on Platform Nine and Three Quarters, if only in his dog form, perhaps greeting me with his bark like a laugh."
"I had the exact same experience of expecting to see Aunt Amelia see me off on Platform Nine and Three Quarters and felt my heart sink to my feet when it sank in on me that Amelia Bones was gone forever," added Susan quietly.
Hannah gave Harry and Susan weak smiles.
"Hearing that helps," said Hannah gratefully, "It's reassuring to know that this is a normal part of the grieving process."
"That's why it's so important for us to meet and talk, " said Harry matter of factly, "There is no worse tragedy than a child losing a parent. All four of us have lost at least one parent and at least one close adult figure."
"When I first learned that mom had died," said Hannah slowly, "I certainly felt that deep sadness that accompanies such a profound and deep loss, but, I also felt a sense of detachment, almost as though it seemed as though the world couldn't exist anymore."
"I know exactly what you mean," said Harry in understanding, "For me, in the hours after Sirius's death, it seemed impossible that could be people in the world who desired food, who laughed, who neither knew nor cared that Sirius Black was gone forever. Sirius seemed a million miles away already even if part of me was waiting for Sirius to greet me with his laugh like a bark."
Susan, Luna, and Hannah all nodded vigorously.
"I considered dropping out of Hogwarts permanently and living my life out as a recluse on a deserted moor, " said Hannah quietly, "But dad wouldn't let me."
"You owe it to your mom to live your life to the fullest," Luna told Hannah, "The best way you can honor her memory is by attacking life head on and leading a life that would make her proud."
"Neither Sirius nor Amelia nor any of our parents would want us to shut down and stop living," said Harry decisively, "That approach would go against everything they stood for, everything they represent. If we stop living our lives like lives are supposed to be lived, they will all have died in vein. We have the opportunity to honor them by attacking life the way a hippogriff attacks its insulters."
"Is it okay to yearn for mom?" inquired Hannah.
"It's inevitable you will have some moments of yearning," said Harry clearly, "But you also can't spend your whole life grieving and yearning. Some periods of emotion are natural and healthy, but you can't let them take over your life. That's why releasing pent up emotion is so important. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need alone time, then take alone time. But don't let a desire for that which you've lost consume you. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"Please be quiet for five minutes and five nanoseconds and let me think," requested Hannah.
Harry, Susan, and Luna obliged at once.
When five minutes and five nanoseconds had passed, Hannah said meaningfully, "The talk and quiet in here tonight have been very therapeutic for me. I appreciate your support, Harry, Susan, and Luna, but Harry, if I may ask, well I'm not one for vengeance or revenge myself, but do you ever feel like you want to kill Bellatrix Lestrange?"
"Immediately after she killed Sirius, I wanted to kill her and avenge Sirius, especially when she taunted me about Sirius's death, but I couldn't even muster up enough true anger to properly Crucio her. My Cruico on her was flat because my anger and hate weren't strong enough. At the end of the day, I don't ever want to kill anyone. "
"Nor would I" admitted Susan, "Killing is sinking to the level of Voldemort and Bellatrix. Fight them if we must, but don't kill them."
"I will never commit murder no matter what," declared Hannah, "Doing so would mean having to carry a weight heavier than the Golden Gate Bridge and the Sears Tower combined."
"I would have no one to avenge anyway, " said Luna simply, "My mom's death was a tragic accident."
"There's something that's been bothering me since Aunt Amelia died that I haven't told anyone about yet, " piped up Susan, "I am the last Bones. There's a certain inherent heaviness and loneliness that comes from knowing I'm literally the last Bones left. And if I die before I can have kids, my whole lineage is gone forever."
"I know EXACTLY how you feel Susan, " said Harry with genuine empathy in his voice, "I know I feel that responsibility to survive and have kids of my own to save the Potter lineage. Harder for me than most because I am The Chosen One."
It was a mark of the non fangirl nature of Luna, Susan, and Hannah that none of them showed much of a reaction to Harry confirming that he was "The Chosen One," Some people, especially Romilda Vane, would've swooned and gaped over hearing that. But, Luna, Susan, and Hannah were just cool, calm, and collected.
"You know, Harry " said Susan thoughtfully, "You and I are cut from the same cloth. We both lost our parents when we were babies. Our childhoods were both blighted by Voldemort and the First Wizarding War against him. We both recently lost close loved ones who we had strong bonds with. And now we're both the last members of our families left."
Harry and Susan looked at each other and nodded.
No words were needed. They understood without vocalizing it.
Harry's life and Susan's life mirrored each other's in many ways and they both felt that.
They talked for a bit longer after that and ended the session with a group hug where they all felt each other inside of each other. Harry felt Luna, Susan, and Hannah inside of him. Luna felt Harry, Susan, and Hannah inside of her. Susan felt Harry, Luna, and Hannah inside of her. Hannah felt Harry, Luna, and Susan inside of her. They were one with each other. They were truly kindred spirits.
When Susan and Hannah returned to the Hufflepuff Common Room, Professor Sprout was waiting for them and told Susan, "Susan, Zacarias Smith did inform me that you punched him. However, I know him to be an asshole and a troublemaker and Ernie Macmillan told me exactly what happened before you punched Zacarias and he strongly argued for you not to be punished given the circumstances. I agree. You will not be punished and I'm banning Zacarias Smith from all Hogsmeade visits for the remainder of the semester and for the remainder of the semester he will serve detention with Filch during all Quidditch matches."
"Thank you, Professor Sprout, " said Susan warmly.
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