A/N1: I'm waiting eagerly for the new expansion, of course I am. More story, yay! On the other hand, I'm a bit afraid of what might happen next to smuggler's relationship with Theron. And, the technicalities will present a challenge on their own - gearing up, crafting, learning combat system all over again. Probably this whole general worry-over-SWTOR thing is what has pushed me into writing mood again. And I'm pretty sure it's not the last chapter of this story, not even gonna pretend before myself that this thing is by any means complete ^^;
Why yes, I do have a special spot for Nathema plant in the coastal garden of my Rishi SH ^^
The Commander hates sitting on her hands, but except for sending out Alliance help to those in dire need, the situation is a stall. The Jedi took the search for Malgus on themselves, the Mandalorian allies are busy with own internal affairs, there's nothing major left to do for the Alliance. Thanks to that, Commander is getting restless. There are events here and there that make days brighter, like a heist for securing additional funds, or a skirmish to shield a group of Republic colonists. Otherwise, her days are just a neverending stream of dull wait. The woman being nervous and bored out of her mind gets on everybody else's nerves too. She ends up being banished by Lana to the Rishi hideout, so that at least other members of the Alliance could focus on their day-to-day duties. Other members, meaning Theron as well - so she travels to her haven all alone.
Solitude is such a rare thing nowadays, and not really welcomed neither. After Odessen being constantly active and noisy, with ever-present movement and chatter, Rishi estate feels like if it belongs to an entirely different galaxy. With comm silence order, it truly might be a remote galaxy. Just for this once it's all upside down - not enough things to do and way too much of spare time. Commander needs to take her mind off of the waiting, so tries hard to be busy in at least somewhat useful way. For past days she's already been doing shooting exercises, a bit of jogging, even cleaning up debris in remote parts of the estate. Eventually, she moves with work and sleep to the beach cottage, to focus on her plants. At some point of making the estate presentable, Commander took a liking to gardening. It's nothing serious, just tending to some flowers and vegetables, but it's a satisfying work in a whole new way. The only problem with keeping garden on a beach is the burning sun. It's not just it hurts some of the more fragile plants. First and foremost, it quickly makes Commander's usually pale skin bright red and tugging painfully over the shoulders, each and every day anew.
Today, the amount of work done under the bright sun leaves her dizzy with exhaustion earlier than usual. It doesn't contribute to calming down the chaos of wandering thoughts in the slightest, neither does the overly tender skin of her back. The woman calls it a day and drops heavily for rest in the shadow of a young blba tree. She is not in hurry to visit med droid for kolto spray on her burnt skin. She'd prefer to have it applied by somebody else anyway, after a lovely cool shower shared with that particular person. It's a tempting thought, but has to be set aside and Commander sighs. Better to admire her recent efforts than to weep over temporary loneliness, right?
The beach looks positively lively comparing to the vast deserted area it's been on the purchase day, all these months back. Couple of recent days spent solely on gardening added shine to the slightly unkept plots. Technology from Ossus and crop seeds from Dantooine are what mostly contributed to the coastal garden project; the rest is effect of Commander's stubbornness. The plant she'd been most determinated, most persistent to keep alive is her personal symbol of hope and love. The twig dragged from Nathema grows and flourishes, much to everybody's surprise. It has turned from withered tiny thing tangled behind a boot strap, through a sprig growing roots in a chipped caf mug, to a brilliantly green and strong plant stretching up way above Commander's head. Who would've ever thought that she'd succeed here? Even a tiniest of gardens didn't sound like a healthy idea for somebody like her, a hothead failing miserably at tasks requiring patience. Oddly enough, patient tending for soil and plants does seem to have a certain charm nowadays. But - would it have the same charm if this was the farm that Corso had promised her all these years ago? She might have never been truly in love with Corso, but she feels guilty about him nonetheless. She never wanted to use or abuse him. It's just that love for Theron came unexpected, and she fell too fast, too easily, too deeply for the man. And somehow, miraculously for her, tragically for Corso - Theron's fallen in love exactly the way she has.
Thinking of another complicated relationship, Commander doesn't really have much love for the Republic or the Jedi. Still - this is the Republic part of galaxy where all her sentiments and loyalties lie. It's where she grew up, where she got her ship and recruited crew-turned-family. It's where she developed contacts and customers network of her own. Finally, it's because of a threat to Republic she was able to meet Theron. And, when she met him for the first time, he'd been no less than a Republic intelligence operative, a bright star of SIS. All in all, Republic space is their earliest home. They both will protect fiercely what's near and dear to them with the power of their skills combined. Fiercely - but not over the dead bodies of innocents. That's what makes their Alliance different.
The idiot Saresh and her plans, the brief romance of Alliance with the Empire, it all shows how each of the two sides can be just as blind and ruthless on their way to the victory over the other one. That's not what she wants for Alliance. Especially when, with Zakuul threat gone, it's all back to the same old war between the Republic and the Empire. It's the same war, but actions taken by the both sides became more desperate than ever. It even came down to the need for protecting the Jedi on Ossus. It's a bitter irony, considering how it's the Jedi who used to be the ones to protect Republic. They had been the ones, until the Zakuulan invasion. But then, the invasion has changed the galaxy permanently, and on so many different levels.
For sure it has changed everything for her, twice. Losing five years worth of, well, everything, was one thing. When she was freshly out of carbonite, she was trying hard and begun to slowly accept this new unfamiliar galaxy. Then a moment came and something turned her world upside down all over again. The unexpected letter from Theron found in mailbox, it knocked the air out of her lungs. It was a proof their relationship wasn't just a fling, an occasional celebration of survival - that it's been a much deeper thing. It was a proof there's something solid and real waiting for her out there, something to hang on to while adjusting to the crazy new reality. Commander is fairly convinced she had never admitted that; she'd never told Theron that together with Lana they have saved her in more than just the literal way. She has never thanked them properly. And, what hurts the most, she has never really told Theron what she felt seeing him on Odessen for the first time. Can she do that now, possibly in a letter due to the circumstances? Even if he's more sophisticated and educated than she had ever chance to become, surely she can describe that burst of emotions in words he'd understand?
The Commander hastily scrambles back to outlook apartment and grabs the single security-approved datapad she has. With grime on her fingers and aching skin on her back, she curls over the device and starts to tap furiously at it, in fear of forgetting those perfect words. But, before she finishes off and sends the letter, her personal holocom chimes in with an incoming priority call. This can mean only one thing - she's needed somewhere. And no matter how bad the news are - because really, this can only mean bad news - it still means return from the seclusion.
Return home.
Return to allies, friends, family.
Return to Theron.
The letter can wait. Telling Theron how much she loves him, she prefers to do that in person. And she prefers to hear in person, how he responds with the same.
A/N2: The unsent letter came to existence to become a super-short Chapter 5.