Chapter Four

"Where were you tonight?"

It had been a simple question and it hadn't even been laced with any obvious negative emotions, but Gabby felt incensed. What right did Melissa have to question her at all? Fighting back her frustration she let out a heavy sigh and slumped down onto the couch. "Dinner with friends."

Gabby's foul mood was apparent and as such Melissa pivoted quickly. "There's some leftovers in the fridge you can take for lunch tomorrow."

"Thanks," Gabby offered in return. She was at a loss, she wasn't exactly sure how she was supposed to act at that moment. It had been a while since Melissa had prepared a meal for them and yet she felt guilty for having missed it. Though she supposed the real guilt she felt was in her very real desire to use her ex to forget her life for a night. She hadn't crossed that line, but she had toed it and she had wanted to. If she hadn't been out with Maura and Jane she just may have. That was a problem. "We need to talk."

Melissa had been leaning against the doorframe between the living room and kitchen but straightened up and paid closer attention to her girlfriend upon hearing those words. She agreed wholeheartedly that they needed to talk. She had a lot to try and explain and make up for, but she felt a chill creep along her spine. Was she too late? Gabby looked defeated. Instincts told her to try and speak first, but she pushed down the inclination. She had to hear what Gabby wanted to say, she owed her that, regardless of what it might mean. "Okay," she agreed quietly.

Gabby couldn't help but notice the literal physical distance between them and how it was a perfect microcosm of the emotional distance in their relationship. She was as much to blame as Melissa, but it had to change. "I ate at Arnie's tonight."

"Oh," Melissa's heart sank a little. She studied one of her thumbnails intensely attempting to distract from the worst case scenarios running through her head.

"Nothing happened," Gabby advised immediately, as her intention wasn't to leave her girlfriend thinking the worst. She wasn't trying to punish or hurt Melissa, she simply wanted to be honest about how much she was hurting.

Melissa breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay."

"But I wanted it to."

Those words sucked the air right out of the room. Melissa felt sick to her stomach, she had to turn away. Her immediate emotional reaction wasn't positive, but as she took a beat to think about the situation they were in, she relaxed a little, determined to get more information first. Turning back to Gabby, who had actually stood following that confession, she asked, "It was just a thought about fucking right? It wasn't…"

The fear in Melissa's voice was too much for Gabby. It didn't matter how mentally exhausted she was with their entire open relationship or how much her heart had been breaking, she had to comfort and reassure the woman. She knew she was drowning, but they both were and if there was only one life preserver she would hand it to Melissa every single time. She pulled her girlfriend into her arms and held her closely, pressing several soft kisses against her collarbone. "I just wanted to forget."

Melissa had been pretty stiff until she heard those words, at which point she wrapped her own arms around Gabby and relaxed into the hug. She felt tears bite at her cheeks because she knew all too well what it meant to want and need to forget trauma, which was exactly what she was causing her girlfriend. Emotional trauma. Reluctantly she pulled away so she could look into Gabby's eyes. "Then do it. Fuck her."

Gabby flinched a little and shook her head vigorously. "No exes," she reminded through gritted teeth. That was a line she couldn't cross, because that was a line she didn't think she could come back from if Melissa crossed it.

Melissa sighed. "Let's be honest for a second Gabby. That rule was never about exes, not really. That's a no Kelly rule for me and I understand that."

Just hearing Kelly's name was enough to push Gabby to the edge. She knew that Melissa must have had real feelings for that woman at one stage and as much as she tried to, she couldn't stop worrying about what would happen if Melissa ever bothered to acknowledge that to herself.

"Fuck," Gabby growled as she realised that Melissa was never going to truly heal until she actually faced her past, and unfortunately that included Kelly whether she liked it or not. "Fuck," she reiterated, bringing her hands to the back of her head and turning away in an attempt to push down the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Melissa asked, her heart racing under the strain of increased anxiety.

Before Gabby could answer, her mobile phone rang. She pulled it from her pocket and saw that it was Detective Morris. She sent him straight to voicemail and turned to face Melissa. "I feel alone in this relationship Missy and Lord knows I've been trying everything to help you, but I can't keep doing this. You need professional help."

"I know," Melissa admitted urgently, "I know I've been hurting you and I know it has to stop. I'll get help, I promise."

Gabby shook her head, disbelieving. "You've said that so many times before."

"Please Gabby…"

Gabby's phone rang again and she looked at it to see it was Detective Morris yet again. "I have to take this."

Melissa watched Gabby walk out of the room and could tell from the tone of the conversation that it was serious. The timing couldn't have been worse, with her relationship hanging by a thread. Was Gabby in the middle of breaking up with her? "What's going on?" she asked when Gabby returned to the room.

"I have to go." Gabby was feeling pretty shook by the news she had just received and the timing couldn't be worse, because even she wasn't exactly sure where she was taking her conversation with Melissa prior to the phone call. She just knew the status quo wasn't going to work for her anymore.

"What about us?" Melissa didn't think she could handle Gabby walking out without some sort of idea of what was going on with their relationship. "You can't just walk out in the middle of this!"

Gabby's eyes grew cold and her face hard. "A cop just died. I have to go."

All the fight left Melissa at that moment. Her shoulders slumped and she nodded reluctantly. Their relationship was the least of Gabby's worries and pushing at that point in time would only make things worse, if that was even possible. "Do what you need to do."

Gabby nodded, but took a moment to regard Melissa's anxious demeanour and it only served to remind Gabby that as tired as she was, and as much as things needed to change, she wasn't going to just give up on her girlfriend. They had been through too much for that. She softened her features a little and leaned over to press a brief kiss against Melissa's lips. "I'm not leaving you Missy. We just have to work on us, okay? I'm sorry, I gotta go."

The sound of hushed voices dragged Jane from her slumber. She rolled over and looked at the alarm clock, it was just after six, a good half an hour before her alarm was due to go off. It wasn't unusual for Maura to already be awake, but for them to have company? She clambered out of bed and grabbed a sweatshirt and pants from the dresser and quickly dressed before heading downstairs. The smell of high quality coffee brewing lured her to the kitchen. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and a hand through her unruly sleep messed curls. "What's goin' on?"

Maura handed Jane a cup of coffee and gave her a quick peck on the lips, her hand trailing across her back and falling away from her shoulder as she shifted past Jane for the exit. "It's going to be a busy day, Darling."

Jane watched her retreating fiancée before turning back to Gabby, who, while dressed in her uniform, looked a little dishevelled and was nursing a half empty mug of coffee. "Gabby?"

"Detective Stephen Dyson was killed late last night." Gabby answered, having been up all night working the investigation alongside Detective Morris and several members of the night shift. She was supposed to be trying to catch a little sleep before returning to work at her normal shift time, but there was no chance that would be possible. Dyson had been one of her training officers at the academy and he was close to retirement, and for him to spend 35 years working the job to go out the way he had didn't sit comfortably with her at all. "Looks like foul play."

"Dyson?" Jane mused, feeling like she had heard the name before, and she certainly hadn't had the chance to meet many of the detectives yet. In fact Morris had been the only one she had been formally introduced to besides a couple of guys who hosted a few classes at the academy during her twenty week training course. It then clicked that it was the detective that Morris had mentioned the night before. "What happened?"

"He was found in his car, unresponsive." Gabby shook her head. On the surface it was made to look like a suicide, but there was no way in Hell that was the case. Neither she nor Morris believed it for a minute, and while they had to wait on the coroner's report to be sure, it hadn't stopped them from canvassing for witnesses under the assumption it was a suspicious death. "Can't really go into more details at the moment, but I want your eyes on this. Thankfully it's Alec's investigation and he's already agreed you can be our shadow on this case."

There was a part of Jane excited to be a part of an investigation again, but that was tempered by the very real impact of what had happened. There was relief that if all things were equal Gabby would have her detective's badge before long and it meant there was one less thing she had to worry about causing issues for Maura's friendship or her working relationship with the Sergeant. It felt callous to be thinking about that, but Jane's relief was palpable. She was also grateful to see that Gabby respected her abilities as an investigator and had obviously made that clear to Morris. "Give me fifteen minutes to shower and dress and we can head down to the station."

Gabby appreciated the seriousness with which Jane was approaching the investigation. "Thanks Jane." She took the coffee cup Jane had barely had a chance to sip from and watched her patrol partner disappear in a flurry of unruly curls.

After setting both cups down Gabby pulled her phone from her pocket and thought about calling Melissa. She worried that the way she had left things wouldn't have been enough reassurance and that it may have meant a sleepless night for her girlfriend. In the end she decided against it, instead settling on sending a quick text message to say that she wouldn't be home until after her regular shift.

Maura had heard the departure of Jane and had returned to the kitchen, well and truly aware of the significance of Detective Dyson in Gabby's life. Maura also had concerns regarding Gabby's state of mind with regards to her relationship with Melissa following the night before. "Have you talked to Melissa yet?"

Gabby looked pensive when she made eye contact with Maura. "I tried to last night, but then I got the call about Dyson and I left."

Having experienced first hand the level of mental fragility Melissa possessed, Maura felt concerned. "How did you leave things with Melissa?"

Gabby shrugged. "Well enough I think, I don't know Maura. I tried to reassure her before leaving, but I don't have the energy to focus on more than one thing right now."

Maura understood the energy drain that Gabby's relationship had been having on her, but worried that she was setting herself up for more issues. "Just call her Gabby, check in with her. Reassure her again, if salvaging the relationship is your goal."

Gabby understood Maura's words were meant to be supportive, but she had to admit that the direct blunt nature of questioning whether salvaging the relationship was even something she wanted hit her hard. "Don't ever question that. You know how much she means to me Maura. You're the only person besides Missy herself to even come close to understanding the depths of my love for her, so please, don't ever question my loyalty to her again."

"I don't question your loyalty to Melissa," Maura said, contemplating her words wisely. "I just worry you are not taking yourself into consideration. You cannot martyr yourself."

Gabby frowned at Maura and ignored the same logic that had been gnawing at the back of her mind in recent times. Loving Melissa, being in love with Melissa, was not something that could ever be brought into question. However, had it reached a point that the relationship regardless of the level of love they shared, was too detrimental to both their lives? She shook the thought away and quickly shot off another quick message to Melissa reiterating her love and that they would talk that night.

Maura saw Gabby get lost in her thoughts and chose to make Jane a quick serving of fruit and yoghurt in a container she could take with her and eat on the way into work, because she knew Jane operated better on a full stomach. It was the one thing she could do to help Gabby in her time of need, by ensuring Jane was at her best. Neither Gabby nor the Tasmanian Police really understood the quick mind they had at their disposal, but she was sure after this case they would.

It had never been more apparent than on this day that not many people in the Tasmanian Police had anything even bordering a clue about the pedigree of Jane Rizzoli. Despite assurances from Gabby and Alec, quite a few members of the service appeared confused about the presence of a probationary constable in the case room. However, as much as they gawked they didn't utter a peep and went about their business once it was apparent that the people that mattered were more than happy with her presence.

Jane was used to that kind of reaction though because she didn't get where she did in Boston without seeing her fair share of disbelievers either. She stood alongside Gabby taking in what information had been obtained during the course of the investigation in the early hours of the morning. Jane was quietly contemplating, while Gabby's agitation was apparent. Jane couldn't blame her Sergeant for feeling that way though, because the timeline was pretty much all they had.

Detective Stephen Dyson had left work just after six in the evening, had returned to his home in Alanvale, eaten dinner with his wife Barbara and a little after 10pm had received a phone call from a payphone and had left the house in a hurry. An anonymous caller had advised that there was a car parked with engine idling near the Rocherlea Football Oval with an apparent suicide victim inside. That call came in to Triple Zero just after 11 pm.

Based on the photos and forensics from the scene Jane agreed with Gabby and Alec's assertion it wasn't suicide. Forensics hadn't been able to turn up any DNA other than the victims and no fingerprints either, which was the biggest giveaway to Jane. "Someone took great care to wipe the exhaust, the hose and duct tape on the inside of the vehicle. It goes without saying that if this was suicide we would have found Dyson's fingerprints on the hose and duct tape."

"The bastard knew what they were doing too," Gabby muttered. They weren't yet sure if the perpetrator was male or female, they assumed male, but the minimal violence involved left the door wide open for a female to have been responsible. "Didn't leave a shred of viable evidence behind."

"Have we been able to follow up with the audio of the Triple Zero phone call?" Jane questioned, interested in the mystery witness who had called in the tip, but hadn't waited around for emergency services to arrive. She hoped that they could get some useful information from the call to help identify the witness.

"The call came from a payphone a block away from the oval and the caller appeared to use a voice modifier." Detective Alec Morris responded, having walked back into the room from his jaunt upstairs to listen to the audio. "Should have a copy available soon, but it isn't looking good as far as identifying the caller goes."

Jane watched as Gabby shook her head and hurried out of the room. She shared a brief look with Alec, who clearly shared Gabby's frustration. It was apparent to all three of them that the mystery caller could in fact be the perpetrator. All that was left was to dig into Dyson's life and see if there were any indications of corruption or threats received to try and figure out further avenues of investigation.

"If this is random…"

"Yeah, I know." Alec sighed, hands on hips. Looking towards where Gabby had fled he said, "I should go talk to her."

Jane agreed that someone should, because the roadblocks in the investigation would be hitting Gabby so much harder because of her heightened stress levels thanks to her personal life. Jane was surprised Gabby hadn't actually thrown a random fist at an inanimate object yet. "I'll be here."

Alec managed half a smile in gratitude. "Thanks, Rizzoli."

He found Gabby in a stairwell, one hand leaning against the wall and the other wiping at tears that rolled down her face. "Hey," he offered quietly.

This was the man who had been one of her best mates in the academy, and alongside Rachael they had been given the nickname the Three Amigos. This was the man who had been by her side in the ambulance when she had almost died when her vehicle was t-boned by a truck. This was the man who had helped her study for the detectives exam, and had always had her back if ever an issue cropped up at work, but she didn't want him to see the emotion overwhelm her. She prided herself on her professionalism at work, and this was far from professional. "Not now, Alec."

Alec didn't give a damn about Gabby's concerns. He knew her well enough to know that she would want to push him to arm's length while she composed herself, but it wasn't the time for that. He had heard the rumours and subsequently witnessed first hand the Hell she was living at home and he couldn't understand why she put up with it. It was taking an obvious toll. "Gabs, you don't have to hide from me. I get it. I feel it too."

"It's just not fuckin' fair," she bemoaned, wiping the last of her tears away.

"Yeah," Alec agreed, "Not the way I wanted us to get the band back together."

His words only served to send a fresh wave of grief through her as the reminder of their academy days left her feeling the absence of Rachael from her life. Gabby's right fist clenched and she pulled back ready to launch at the wall, but Alec caught the fist and pulled her into a firm hug. Her arms wrapped around him, her face burying against his shoulder as a fresh set of tears started to fall. She was falling to pieces. There was nothing left to give, she couldn't find an ounce of stoicism. She sobbed like she never had before.

Alec held her tightly and when he heard the door open he shot a look that could kill at the constable who'd had unfortunate timing and watched as he quickly returned from whence he came. Returning his attention to Gabby he spoke softly, "I've got you."

Gabby believed it too. She clung to him as if he were her life preserver. For so long she had been drowning, and just when it felt like she was going under for good, he was there, a lifeline. "Thank you," she sobbed. "I need to go," she couldn't stay at work, not in the state she was in. She had to escape, but she needed him to keep working the case. "Can you ask Rizzoli to take me home?"

He pulled out to arms length and looked at Gabby for a long moment before slowly nodding, it was definitely in his friend's best interest to take some time to pull herself together. "Are you sure you don't want me to drop you home? I can't imagine you want Rizzoli to see you like this?"

He wasn't wrong, but besides him at that moment in time there were only two other people she'd feel safe around, Maura, who was busy teaching, and Jane, simply because at the end of the day Jane had proven herself capable of great compassion when Melissa had been shot. "I need you to catch the bastard responsible," she said firmly. "Just get Rizzoli for me, please."

"Alright," he agreed before leaving her there in the relative privacy of the stairwell to recompose herself.

It was quickly apparent to Jane that the metaphorical water Gabby had been slowly cooking in had reached boiling point. Six months of her emotions riding the cruellest of rollercoasters and she had finally derailed. The Gabby she had found in the stairwell where Alec had directed her to go actually looked frail. It's not that she wasn't still an athletic, strong specimen of a woman. It was the broken spirit. It was like Jane had jumped into a time machine and was looking into a mirror two and a half years ago. She truly knew what it was to feel as lost as her Sergeant did, and Jane felt that hurt down to her core.

There had been a few cursory niceties shared and then they had left the station in a hurry. Their journey had been made in silence. Jane observed the fact Gabby's hands were jittery, the kind of tremors that might normally be attributed to a person in withdrawal. Her nerves were clearly shot.

After pulling up outside Gabby's home Jane turned to face her and asked, "You want me to come inside for a few minutes?"

Gabby stared out the passenger window away from Jane, just looking beyond her front gate towards the house. All she could see in her mind was a procession of women sneaking out of the house; remnants of previous encounters. She remembered the self control it took in those moments, and even more so in the moments when she was home sooner than they were leaving. Gabby shuddered. She didn't have an ounce of self control left. Melissa wasn't expecting her for hours. She couldn't walk inside that house with the way she was feeling. If Melissa was entertaining another woman she knew she would explode and there would be no telling the damage she would do.

"Gabby?" Jane prompted firmly in an attempt to drag Gabby's focus back to the present.

"I can't go in there," Gabby muttered, almost inaudibly. Turning to look at Jane who looked perplexed at her utterance she elaborated, "Missy isn't expecting me home until tonight. I can't… if she's entertaining, I can't."

Jane sucked in a deep breath and exhaled loudly to ease her own tension. It was a stark reminder that Melissa just wasn't the person either of them had grown close to anymore. Jane hardly spent time with Melissa, and that was partially on Melissa, but also partially on herself for not knowing how to process what was happening in Melissa's relationship. She couldn't fathom how Gabby had managed to keep her cool for so long given the open relationship had been in full swing for at least three months. "Did you want me to check if the coast is clear?"

The coast presented treacherous waters indeed and Gabby didn't want to make landfall. She shook her head just a little. "I can't face her right now Jane, even if she's alone. I can't…"

The desperation in Gabby's eyes dictated to Jane what must be done. Her friend, because at this point that's exactly what she was, needed her. She realised she cared about Gabby for more than just being Maura's friend and for more than being her training officer. She cared about Gabby because of who she was. In that moment she was a woman falling to pieces but still trying to put the love of her life first, despite the fact that said love had been the one crushing her in the first place. Jane understood that all too well, and she admired the ability Gabby had to find one more protective thought for Melissa.

"Let me pack you a few things and you can stay with us for a couple of nights until you can figure out what you need." Jane already had her hand out waiting for a key.

Gabby handed Jane the key and watched her exit the vehicle and disappear into her house. It occurred to her at that moment that she was incredibly lucky that Jane and Maura belonged together, because that woman had the heart and brains to win over any woman if she set her mind to it.

Gabby sighed and let out a sad little laugh when she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had chosen to ignore all the signals from Melissa that she still wanted her, back when Jane was still in the picture. She had no doubt Maura would never have made her hurt like this, and that Jane was too damn stubborn to have ever back tracked on her decision to choose Melissa. That was the past though, and instead all she had now was Hell on earth. Well, Hell on earth and Jane Rizzoli as a friend.

Jane had entered the house and immediately heard signs of life. Thankfully they weren't the kind of signs that Gabby had been dreading and which would have been very uncomfortable to interrupt. Unfortunately the sound was Melissa sobbing and it only getting louder as she approached the master bedroom tugged at Jane's heartstrings. For a brief moment in time Jane contemplated that she had gone from badass detective chasing down murderers and abductors to probationary constable attempting to navigate the minefield that was her friend's relationship and the latter felt fraught with more danger.

Jane fortified herself with a deep breath before gently knocking on the bedroom door and opening it just a little for her voice to carry. "Missy, it's Jane. Is it okay if I come in?"

Melissa was startled by Jane's presence and quickly recognised that if she had let herself in she had to have a key, which caused her to worry. "Jane? Is Gabby okay? What's going on? Why are you here?"

Jane pushed the door open a little more and stepped into the bedroom. She watched as Melissa threw the bedding away and jumped out of bed, clearly anxious for information. Jane held her hands up in front of her, palms out in an attempt to calm her friend down. "She's fine. She's just not feeling herself right now. I'm just here to pack a bag for a couple of days."

Melissa quickly wiped the tears from her face and straightened out to stare Jane down. It wasn't even lunch time yet and that meant not feeling herself right now was a little more serious than it sounded. There was no way Gabby would miss work without it being serious. There was no way she could be fine. "Jane," she warned, her voice a lower octave. "What the fuck is going on?"

Jane could tell that Melissa was in fight mode and ready to go to war if she didn't get answers she liked, but it was really hard to take her friend seriously at that moment given she was wearing a unicorn onesie. Jane had to stifle a small laugh given this was not the time at all given both her friends were emotionally wrought, but she had never quite seen this side of Melissa before. It was different. It was adorable.

Melissa glared at Jane. "Not even one word unless it's about Gabby," she spat, knowing exactly what had gotten Jane's tongue. She wasn't in the headspace to be amused by the situation they found themselves in.

Jane sighed. "Missy, the honest truth is Gabby has finally hit her breaking point. She can't bring herself to see you right now. She needs time."

"Wait," Melissa exclaimed, her eyes growing wide. "Did she send you here to do her dirty work? Is this a break up or a break or… what is this?"

Jane shook her head absolutely frustrated with the lack of concern for Gabby. "Jesus fucking Christ Missy! Do you think for a minute you could just think about your girlfriend? You know the woman you proclaim to love with every essence of your being? She can only take so much. She's not fucking invincible. I am here to get her a bag of clothes and toiletries for a couple of days. Beyond that, you can ask her yourself!"

Melissa took an involuntary step backwards as Jane had never spoken to her like that before. Sure Jane had said some really hurtful things, but a sarcastic intent in the past had nothing on the pure disdain with a dash of anger at the forefront of dark eyes. She opened her mouth to respond, but found she had no words. Had she really fallen so far that Jane of all people was defending Gabby? Jane was helping Gabby? An outlier that was absolutely possible yes, she knew that from when she was shot and hospitalised, but in this situation? Jane was on Gabby's side? Finally she muttered, "Let me help you."

"You want to help?" Jane scoffed, "Then get some fucking help for yourself. Stop doing this to the woman you love. Stop hurting her the way you are. Just fucking stop, Missy."

"Jane…"

At this point Jane was on a roll. Every single thought that had flashed through her mind in the last three months and a whole lot of new ones were waiting in line to be expressed. "An open relationship Missy? I mean really, what the actual fuck?"

"Jane," Melissa tried again.

"The woman I first met, the one I loved, she would never have done this to someone she proclaimed to love…"

"It was Maura's fucking idea!" Melissa screamed to cut off the rant berating her every decision.

Jane did a double take at that information. She shook her head. "Are you kidding me right now? No way in Hell Maura would have suggested this. Not for Gabby. That's her best friend you're talking about. That's your girlfriend, Missy. You really think anyone who knows her even the slightest would suggest that? Wow!"

Melissa couldn't blame Jane for her incredulity, but she wasn't lying. It was never her idea to open up the relationship. It had been helping her, but clearly as she had already been figuring out, it wasn't helping Gabby. Apparently it had become so damaging that her love couldn't even work. That worried her on so many levels, but at that moment her hackles were raised. "I have never lied to you Jane."

It was a simple sentence, but it sucked the air out of Jane's lungs, because it was true. The reason she had found herself mourning her broken friendship with Melissa, was because their connection had been an instant one and even when times were tough in the midst of their brief romantic relationship, Melissa had been honest. It was refreshing then, and now it only served to confuse Jane. She knew her fiancée better than she knew herself and what Melissa was saying was counter intuitive, and even the attitude of Maura had been against this open relationship. It didn't make sense. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's a really stressful time at the moment and I'm worried about Gabby, and you. I'm really worried about you."

Melissa's eyes softened and she offered a brief head nod of understanding. This was the Jane Rizzoli she was more familiar with, not that she wasn't aware how headstrong she could be. It just felt good to know Jane still cared, because she felt really alone in everything, even if it was as much her doing as anyone else's. "I'll pack a bag for Gabby. Please take care of her, Jane."

A/N: I know it has been quite a while, but I am back. Working on this regularly, with a plan to update once or twice a week. Trying to maintain a healthier life balance, rather than allowing myself to be completely consumed by writing. Just want to say thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed and followed in the past on this and its prequel, it means the world to me.