Chapter Seventeen

Jane stood at the front door staring in utter disbelief for a solid minute. Kelly's outburst had definitely hit the mark. Snapping out of the shock she couldn't stop from sifting through the things she had noticed from the moment she had shown up to warn of the Hoyt connection. It had been the raised voices that drew her to use her almost long forgotten key from when she and Melissa were dating to let herself in. She should probably return that. Once she recognised Kelly was the one yelling she had considered leaving as it really wasn't her place to intervene but then the words had become more clear and it had been a painful reinforcement of circumstances that had left her reeling earlier that afternoon back at Churchill Park.

Her mind practically shut down at that point from the overwhelming emotional distress caused by the reinforced belief that what happened to Melissa in Chicago was her fault. She wasn't even sure when she had picked up the Red Sox t-shirt she saw on the ground outside the bedroom door. She knew she must have because she still held onto it now. It was logic and reason filling in that blank because her memory hadn't captured the moment at all.

Just as she couldn't remember actually stepping into the doorway and looking into the bedroom. She remembered feeling desolation when her eyes fell on Melissa sitting on the bed. She had been crying. Of course she had been, Kelly had been tearing her to shreds. The suitcase and bag her friend had dropped at her feet jarred her consciousness with sudden recognition. Had she interrupted Kelly walking out on Melissa? Jane shuddered just thinking about it, finally finding the ability to start moving down the steps toward the front gate.

She had done what she had come to do. She had warned Melissa. A warning that apparently wasn't necessary and with that being the case, why the Hell hadn't the woman already done something about shoring up her home? Jane shook away the thought and got into her car, tossing the t-shirt on the passenger seat. She was actually amazed at how well she had stayed focused and got the important information out there. Kelly had seemed receptive and Jane hoped that might delay her plans to leave. It was something she knew she should speak to Kelly about. There was no way in Hell Melissa could handle her wife abandoning her at this juncture and the last thing Jane wanted was Melissa in that house alone.

Jane looked back at the front of the house before putting her key into the ignition and turning the engine on. There was a big part of her that wanted to go back inside and get an answer from Kelly about her intentions. If her friend gave up on Melissa so easily, Jane might just lose her shit, which was something she didn't want to think about. She had enough on her plate dealing with the guilt she felt regarding the entire situation. She just had to hope the seriousness of the situation would be enough to keep Kelly around and that Melissa would regain her trust, which shouldn't have been lost in the first place. Jane growled in frustration just thinking about Kelly's stupid insecurities and obsession with her brief relationship with Melissa in the past. She then slammed the steering wheel with her palm as she thought about Gabby's even stupider big mouth feeding the inferno of Kelly and Maura's doubts.

If Gabby and Kelly both thought that she and Melissa had a love that burned so bright to the point it could extinguish or dull the flames Melissa had for them it said a lot more about them than her. She had been far from her best when she and Melissa had been together. Those two numbskulls should be grateful that Maura was her entire world, because they truly would understand the meaning of no chance in Hell if Melissa was her one, but she wasn't. Jane shook her head at the entire situation. It would be laughable if Maura wasn't being dragged into it. Her fiancée didn't need to be feeling anxious or insecure about her love for her, because there was no one in the world that meant more to her. Not a single soul.

Jane let out a long, tired sigh. She was emotionally spent and yet she knew she had to return home and keep going. She had left Maura practically mid-fight about what had gone down that afternoon. She knew Maura understood on a logical level that she just had to warn Melissa, however she wasn't so certain about the emotional impact. Not with all the bullshit Gabby would have fed her earlier in the day. They needed to talk properly, which meant she had to stop being defensive. She knew Melissa was a trigger for it, but it was not for the reasons the people around her liked to assume. She was tired of justifying her friendship and explaining their kinship, but Maura deserved an open and honest conversation. It just wasn't a tenable situation allowing things to keep going the way they were. There was too much tension. So with that in mind Jane hit the turn signal and waited for a break in traffic. She headed for home.

Jane quickly discovered that conversation would have to wait, as Maura was nowhere to be found when she returned home. Her mood soured because she could hazard a guess who her fiancée had ventured out to visit. It was part of the reason they were butting heads so much lately. Two different best friends that used to date and had not split up under the most amicable of circumstances. Not that she ever really liked to refer to anyone as her best friend these days, it had always been Maura, and it still was. Melissa was simply the next closest person to her and Gabby, well Gabby was considered by Maura to be her best friend, which didn't really bother Jane. They viewed things differently, it just was the way it was. For Jane, her best friend sure as Hell ought to be the person she intended to spend the rest of her life with. Her fiancée didn't view it that way. Friends and lovers were different and she felt blessed to have a lover who had been the best of friends at one time, but now they were just… more. That had been the explanation and Jane was more than okay with that.

Her problem was never with the label, it was with the person who stepped into the best friend position. Oh she had tried and even succeeded in liking Gabby, but after this afternoon's bullshit, she was pretty much done. She wanted to give her former patrol partner the benefit of the doubt and she truly wanted to be able to get along with the woman for Maura's benefit, but it was increasingly more difficult to do so. Mostly in part because of Maura's reaction. It was like she had a blind spot for Gabby's violent outbursts and while there had been more than a couple of years between the outbursts, there had been two in a mere matter of weeks. This time she had actually flung Melissa dangerously and that in combination with the way she spoke about her ex, left Jane fuming.

Jane slapped the door frame with some intensity on her way into the study to print out the files Frost had sent her. It was the only real release she had for her building frustration with the state of her life. She really needed to talk to Maura. They had to sort their issues out because she couldn't stand how she was feeling. She grabbed the files from the printer, sorted them into the standard order of things from her days with Boston Homicide and stapled them together at the top left hand corner. The last thing she wanted was to accidentally lose a piece of paper and find it later and be sent back to the dark headspace she knew reading it would take her.

She couldn't deal with her relationship tension right this moment so she grabbed an apple from the kitchen and a glass of water and headed into the living room. She sat on the couch with her legs curled underneath her and started to read through the file. The crunch of her first bite of the apple was the only distraction from the gore both written and visual that she poured over repeatedly until she had it all memorised. It wasn't the smartest of ideas going back down the Hoyt rabbit hole, but someone had to and she felt like she was the only one who was going to take the threat seriously.

She had questions. Why had he remained dormant for so long? Was it merely coincidence? Had they somehow escaped detection by returning to Tasmania? She highly doubted that was the case. Not in a world where so much information is literally at your fingertips. No, the apprentice, whoever he was, was simply biding his time. He had to know exactly where they were. Hell, he might even already be in the city with them. That thought sent a chill straight down her spine, so much so that when she finally, but quite absently bit on the apple for a second time, she startled herself. She jumped a little and had to do a breathing exercise to calm her nerves.

Even in death, that asshole was still finding ways to haunt her. Perhaps that was the point. Maybe the apprentice hadn't struck again because the goal was to keep her on edge or lull her into a false sense of security. Neither had really worked because she had been shut out of the investigation for too long to have been on edge the whole time, and she would never, ever, underestimate anything that looked even remotely like it could be linked to Hoyt. No, that wasn't it. There had to be more to it. Was he preparing to taunt and terrify? Could he have been the one that left the whiskey for Melissa? Now that thought was absolutely terrifying. It meant he knew enough about her to know of her issues with alcohol. What kind of message was he trying to send? She was clearly missing a valuable part of the picture. Whatever it was, she suspected it would start to shift into focus soon.

The absolute worst part of it all was after having read the entire file multiple times over, she had as much of an idea of the man's identity as the Chicago PD did. Absolutely zero clue. She tossed the file onto the coffee table and straightened out her legs, planting them firmly against the floor. Unless he struck again, they were never going to catch the bastard that had so brutally murdered one innocent young woman and trapped another in Hell. That was perhaps the most terrifying realisation from the situation. She or someone she cared about may yet come face to face with an incredibly patient acolyte of Charles Hoyt. She wasn't sure there was any level of preparation that would make them ready for that.

"Christ, you look like shit."

Gabby stood with one hand on the door, her eyes staring defiantly at her unexpected visitor. "And whose fault is that?" She spat back bitterly, half tempted to slam the door in Melissa's face.

"Touché."

"What do you want?" Gabby wasn't in the mood for games.

After Maura left she had managed to calm herself down enough to want to spend time with Alexis. So she had called her ex and apologised profusely for not returning her calls, promising to explain further if she would come back around, which thankfully for Gabby, Alexis had agreed. Alexis was due to arrive any time and the last thing Gabby needed at the end of the shitty day she'd already endured was world war three breaking out because her exes came face to face.

"I was hoping we could talk."

There was obvious trepidation in Melissa's tone and Gabby wasn't sure what to make of it. Then again she had been out of control that afternoon and because of that, despite the surge of vitriol trying to force its way out of her mouth, she bit her tongue. She counted to ten in her mind to remain calm because they were probably due for a serious talk about everything that had gone on between them. It just wasn't realistic to think she could walk away and not look back, a friendship might be salvageable, if she tried anyway. She wanted to try, despite the fact just looking at Melissa left her feeling emotionally eviscerated. Assumptions had already gotten her into a lot of trouble that day, so she chose to play it safe and take the opportunity to talk through the feelings sitting heavily at the pit of her stomach.

A heavy sigh escaped Gabby's lips with the recognition that she was making a really stupid mistake by stepping aside and allowing her ex into the house. This was not going to end well, but when it came to Melissa that was the new normal that she couldn't seem to escape. "Okay, sure. Um, just go let Charlie in. He's missed you. I'll be right with you."

Gabby was pretty sure from the hesitation in Melissa's stride and the momentary locking of eyes that her ex could tell she was hiding something. That something being her need to intercept Alexis so that she could avoid Hell on earth. The smart thing would have been to send Melissa packing and save the big talk for another day, but why start being smart now? She managed a half smile half grimace in an attempt at reassurance and breathed easier when Melissa disappeared into the living room.

Gabby hurriedly grabbed her phone from her pocket and stepped outside into the mildly warm air. She called Alexis and brought the phone to her ear, her eyes glancing up at the fading orange across the horizon, it would be dark soon. "Come on, come on." She barked urgently only to be disappointed when her call wasn't answered.

This wasn't going to be her night, she just knew it. She could attempt to salvage things by telling Melissa she changed her mind but that felt mildly unsettling. She clasped the phone tightly and closed her eyes hoping for some miracle resolve to spring up, but alas the only resolution she felt was committing to the disaster her mind already saw coming. In a last ditch effort at a miracle she shot off a quick text to Alexis asking to reschedule because something had come up. She was due for something to fall her way eventually, right?

Wrong.

The sound of an all too familiar engine slowing and cutting out followed by a familiar car door slamming sent chills down Gabby's spine. She lifted her eyes towards the front gate at the sound of footsteps and quickly stuffed her phone into her pocket. She managed a welcoming smile, despite her inner voice berating her life choices repeatedly with each and every step she took to intercept Alexis.

"Hey," Gabby offered in greeting, her voice sounding as weary as she felt.

"Hey, ooh ouch. That looks like it hurts."

Alexis' smile was genuine and filled Gabby's chest with a warmth that had grown all too familiar in the past weeks. She readied a response, feeling an urgency creep along her spine as Alexis' eyes were drawn to her phone by the ding of a text message. She fought back the urge to slap the phone from the other woman's hand, instead offering a regretful smile. "I know I owe you an explanation for all this," her hand motioned towards her own face, "but I really need to handle something that cropped up unexpectedly. I'll explain all of it later."

Gabby watched on with a sense of impending doom blooming within as Alexis' eyes scanned her phone and her face fell. Gabby couldn't tell if it was because of the text message she had read or from what she had just said. The last thing she wanted was to be causing friction between them, she was enjoying their time together. It was the one thing keeping her going, not even work mattered to her much. Alexis did though and she couldn't stop her chin from falling as she shook her head sadly, cursing Melissa's stupid timing. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Gabby's lip trembled a little as Alexis took another step bridging the gap between them. The look in her eyes was dangerous and Gabby genuinely worried she was making a bad decision. The worry disappeared the moment Alexis framed her face with her hands and leaned in for a short but intense kiss that left Gabby wanting more when she pulled away. "I, uh, what was that for?"

"Oh that wasn't for you, Honey."

Gabby swallowed nervously upon hearing Alexis' reply and the tone with which it was said. Her sixth sense kicked in and she turned to look back over her shoulder, all hope she had of avoiding upsetting the status quo with Alexis evaporated. Her head snapped back to the woman whose eyes appeared to be studying every one of her microexpressions, which Gabby knew screamed panic, because she was absolutely doing that. "It's not… I mean, shit. She just wanted to talk and it seemed important. It really shouldn't take long."

"For the record Gabrielle, choosing your ex over me indicates a serious lack of judgement."

Gabby winced at the sound of her full name coming out of Alexis' mouth, she was pissed. Gabby was torn though because she knew Melissa was standing further down the path behind her with Charlie by her side. Gabby also knew from the look she'd seen on her face a few moments prior that she had seen the kiss and fuck, why couldn't she catch a break? Why the fuck did she care so much what Melissa thought? That relationship was dead and fucking buried. "I promise you Alex, that's not what I'm doing."

Alexis was already on her way out onto the street, causing Gabby to chase after her. "Alex please," she begged, hoping beyond all hopes that she could salvage something from the shitshow she'd fallen into with her own piss poor decision making.

"You told me you were done with her."

"I am!"

"Then why do you even need to talk to her?"

Gabby had to step back quickly when Alexis whirled around to face her, forcefully pressing a finger into her sternum. The woman's eyes were cool, calculating but a little tempestuous. Gabby's heart felt like it was stuck in a tug of war between the new and the old and she fucking hated it. She was desperate for Alexis not to close the door on them because she knew that Alexis had only considered reentering her life because she thought that she was truly done with Melissa. She was. Absolutely done. Romantically. "I'm just trying to process all of this so I can let go and move on. Please Alex. I'm practically begging you to understand and you know I don't beg."

That appeared to do the trick. Gabby let out a huge sigh of relief when Alexis' eyes softened and she nodded slowly, her face creasing adorably in thought. "I promise you," Gabby continued, taking advantage of the obvious chink in Alexis' armour, "that what we have growing between us, truly matters to me more than you know."

This time when Alexis kissed her, Gabby's hands splayed across the woman's back and pulled her closer. She melted into the kiss, refusing to let Alexis break free too quickly. This woman mattered, and no matter how many times her stupid brain would make her jump when Melissa said jump, she would one day break free of it. Alexis had to be the one to come first and she'd be damned if she didn't make that adjustment.

When oxygen became an issue Gabby pulled away only to bury her entire body against Alexis and her head against her shoulder. She was used to being the strong, stoic, supportive girlfriend but with Alexis she allowed herself to be vulnerable. She allowed herself to show it. She relaxed when she felt Alexis' arms wrap around her and her lips press against the side of her head. She had dodged a bullet. Gabby sighed with relief and murmured, "I don't want to spend the night without you."

The arm around her only tightened and lips pressed against her skin and lingered. "Have your talk, my love. Then come home to me."

It took Gabby several long moments to compose herself. The tenderness with which Alexis spoke chipped away at the walls that surrounded her heart. She finally found the strength to pull back and step away. She nodded slowly and verbalised her intention, "I will."

Gabby stood watching as Alexis drove away, her body stalling to give her brain time to find its footing once again. She took in several deep breaths and took her time exhaling in an attempt to centre herself. She wasn't looking forward to facing Melissa after all that. It was the last thing she wanted, but it wasn't just about her or Melissa anymore, it was about Alexis. She had to have the difficult conversation if she ever wanted to truly move on, and she did, she longed for it. As her feet slowly carried her back into the yard, her eyes lifting from the path in front of her to where Melissa stood, she ached for it too. She needed to let go.

"I didn't realise…"

Didn't realise what? Gabby couldn't help but wonder with the way Melissa's voice trailed out. Her face had remained neutral, but Gabby had sensed a shift in her ex's energy. She couldn't quite pinpoint it, but she didn't exactly care to either. She just wanted to get it over and done with and standing around outside wasn't the place for it. She quickly motioned towards the front steps and said, "After you."

Once they were inside the house Gabby let Melissa take the couch, swallowing down the hurt she felt when Charlie climbed up beside her and laid down, his head and front paws resting on Melissa's lap. He was such a traitor, but she couldn't blame him. Charlie was the biggest victim from the end of their relationship, because how was he to understand that his two people just didn't get along anymore? His betrayal, no matter how understandable, didn't help her attitude as she crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the hallway door frame. "Alright, talk."

"I just thought we should try to clear the air."

While Melissa's words were directed her way, Gabby could see her focus was squarely on Charlie. Clearly the pair on the couch missed each other equally and it caused a twinge in her chest. Charlie may have been her dog, but he and Melissa had taken to each other immediately upon her return to their hometown. She shuffled her feet uncomfortably as Melissa's ear rubbing and head kissing of the German Shepherd dragged on for what was starting to feel like an eternity.

Gabby coughed to draw Melissa's focus back onto her before responding a little too gruffly. "What is there to say, really? You've obviously moved on."

"And you haven't?"

Gabby was damn proud of the way she didn't flinch a muscle at the snarky retort. She hoped her eyes had remained steadfastly perturbed, and hadn't betrayed the hurt she actually felt. It was difficult doing this. It had always felt like they were inevitable. Even when she had chosen to walk away to nurse her broken heart, which had been shattered too many times, she half expected they would find their way back to one another. Perhaps after Melissa had taken the time to see a professional and get help coping with the demons in her head. Now though? Between Kelly and maybe even Jane, plus her own deal with Alexis, the chasm between them was near insurmountable and it was absolutely gut wrenching.

They stared each other down for a long minute while Gabby reminded herself of the need to let go. Knowing she had to and finding a way to do it were apparently entirely different things. Especially when her own mouth betrayed her attempts at being brutishly indifferent by quietly admitting, "Not yet, but I'm trying."

"I know."

Melissa's voice was surprisingly soft and understanding and it did absolutely nothing for Gabby's resolve to be indifferent. It only tugged at her heartstrings and she was too exhausted to hate it. She readjusted so that her arms were by her sides. She waited for Melissa to continue because there wasn't a thing she could say in that moment that wouldn't complicate things. It was easier to stay quiet.

Melissa's hand slowly resumed petting the back of Charlie's head and Gabby chose to focus on that. It was a lot easier than staring into eyes that didn't quite look at her the way they used to.

A quiet sigh escaped her ex's mouth, drawing her eyes back to sad blue ones. "I think I owe you an apology."

Just the one? Gabby felt like she was owed a lot more than that, but she held back. Simply nodding and saying, "Go on."

"It kind of hit me today that I left for Chicago for a reason. I didn't quite understand it for years in all honesty. I wanted to return home so many times…"

"Why didn't you?" Gabby couldn't help herself, she had loved that woman for so many years, she still did. It wasn't as simple as making a decision to get over a love like that. It took time. In this situation it also took harsh truths coming into the light. Without those, without Melissa admitting to what she already suspected, that she had stopped being the one years ago, it was going to be nigh on impossible to let go. It was stupid and frustrating and a big reason she was lashing out at those around her, but it was her reality.

"Why didn't you?" She repeated, recognising that Melissa was stuck in her own head.

"At the time I told myself it was because I had to put my dreams first, but…"

"The fact that you thought that meant things had changed for you." Gabby concluded, her heart clenching tightly. She turned away and paced the hall for a moment, wiping back tears that were coming unbidden, before re-entering the living room to finish the conversation.

"Yeah."

Gabby watched as Melissa stood and walked closer. She thought it was in an attempt to comfort, but the last thing she needed in that moment was to be too close to her ex. She took a step back and brought her hands up signalling for Melissa to stop. "Just don't, okay."

"I'm really sorry that I didn't understand then what I do now."

Gabby swallowed down an intense wave of emotion, as she uttered the truth she needed to hear fall out of Melissa's mouth. "It's not me anymore, is it?"

Melisssa shook her head and took another step forward timidly, her eyes shimmered with tears and Gabby couldn't stand it. Her immediate desire was to sweep Melissa up into her arms and hold her close. It was so fucking backwards, they were literally discussing Melissa falling out of love with her and it clearly hurt them both. She could see it in her ex's eyes and she felt it in her own chest and yet they were both drawn to comforting one another. So backwards, which was again exactly how she stepped.

"Don't," Gabby choked out as a particularly painful wave of heartbreak rolled through every cell of her body. She felt like collapsing in on herself and actually had to brace herself against the doorframe to keep standing. She needed to hear the words. "Just answer the question."

Melissa's hesitation to speak them outloud only hurt Gabby more. The band aid needed to be ripped off. There was no path forward to healing without it in this situation.

"Just say… oh fuck. Missy don't!" Gabby's whole body leaned into Melissa's touch. They were wrapped around each other in an instant and Gabby could feel familiar stirrings and she tried to fight it. She wanted to pull away but her body was betraying her. Melissa's hands rubbed her back almost apologetically and Gabby brought them cheek to cheek. She turned her head away to aid in fighting the desire to press her lips against warm skin.

"I'm so sorry," Melissa murmured repeatedly against her neck. The sensation of breath tickling her skin was almost too much to bear. Gabby clung on tightly, knowing deep within her soul that this was their letting go. She yearned to turn back the clock, despite knowing they both had people waiting for them. In this moment all she cared about was the woman in her arms and it took every last bit of will power she had not to turn into the lips whispering against her skin and claim them for herself once more.

Reaching deep, Gabby managed to half whisper, half beg. "Please, please don't leave me a slither of hope."

They pulled apart and Gabby watched Melissa wipe the tears that glistened on her face away before she focused on her and quite calmly stated, "I'm in love with Kelly."

Oh yup, that'll do it. Gabby turned away, one hand on her hip and the other covering her mouth to hide the sobs that wanted to escape. She didn't want to share her broken heart. She didn't want to be vulnerable in front of Melissa, not anymore. She closed her eyes and thanked a God she didn't believe in that her ex at least understood the assignment she had been given. It hurt like Hell, which was precisely what she needed it to do. She sucked in deep breath after deep breath in an attempt to get her emotions under control, finally uttering a simple, "Thank you," into the air around them.

Silence descended upon them and all that could be heard was Charlie shuffling around on the couch and the hum of the fridge from the kitchen.

Melissa was the one to break the silence. "For what it's worth, I really hope it works out for you and Alexis this time."

Gabby nodded slowly, she did too. She still couldn't bring herself to face Melissa. "Is there anything else?"

"I know I don't have any right, but…"

Gabby's shoulders sank as Melissa's voice trailed out. It didn't take a psychic to understand what she wanted to ask but seemingly stopped herself from asking. Charlie might have been a dog, but he was practically their child and she had already witnessed first hand this evening how much love they had for each other. She turned slowly and looked over at Charlie who had sat up, his head swivelling from her to Melissa and back again. Even the dog seemed to sense what was up.

"I'll drop him off Monday mornings and pick him up Friday nights." It was apparent with the way Melissa opened her mouth to say something that she was being very generous, but Gabby flung her hand up to stop Melissa from speaking. "Just for now, while things are still so unsettled here. We'll revisit the custody arrangement when things settle."

"Thank you, so much."

"Don't thank me, Missy. It's for his well being, not yours."

They both knew it was a lie.

After leaving Gabby's, Maura decided to make a detour via the Italian Pizza House for Jane's favourite pizza. It afforded her time to think about the day and her initial reaction to the entire situation that afternoon. The first thing she needed was to apologise and the best approach for that was pizza because there was no faster way to Jane Rizzoli's heart than good food, even if that 'good' food held minimal nutritional value and excessive calories for recommended dietary requirements.

The store was busy enough that she had a forty minute wait on her order. Maura decided to cut through the side alley into Yorktown Square and peruse the storefronts while contemplating the day. She couldn't imagine feeling more shaken in her faith in Jane than she had been that afternoon and she knew she was being entirely unfair by allowing the words of others to feed her own insecurities. The problem was that those insecurities were there for a reason and perhaps she should have taken time years ago to sort through them when the fears were more relevant. Holding on to them and allowing them to fester had been a mistake. She hadn't intended for it to be this way. She most certainly hadn't expected Kelly, of all people, to lay out a theory that made logical sense and brought everything she was sure of emotionally, into question.

The smells from the restaurants along George Street wafted all around Maura as she found a bench to sit on. She watched absently as people scurried to their cars in the carpark. People watching could be soothing for her as it allowed her a small insight into the nuances of life from another person's perspective. Were they relaxed? Were they in a hurry? Did they look stressed? How could she channel such serenity?

Maura tried to see things from Jane's perspective. She remembered quite vividly the night she had committed Melissa to the psychiatric ward of St Luke's. Jane had been so angry with her. To this day Maura was pretty sure Jane still hadn't forgiven her for the decision to commit Melissa back then. Her intentions had been genuine. She loathed that Jane had never been able to see that. With everything that was going on she held a very real fear that the unresolved anger from that moment in time could come back to haunt them. Melissa was a blind spot for her fiancée, of that she had no doubt.

It was the very nature of that blind spot that would at times leave Maura feeling insecure, much like she did right now. Nobody understood more than she exactly how protective Jane could be of those she loved, but at times Jane's passion for protecting Melissa felt like it blurred lines. She for one wouldn't have felt comfortable being in Jane's shoes today. To be holding an ex so close, whispering sweet words and professing love? That was a line even she recognised shouldn't be crossed. She understood the need to hold a distraught friend. She understood the need to tell them you loved them. She understood sharing a private moment of tenderness. She simply couldn't understand doing that with an ex lover all at once. That felt like she would be crossing into dangerous territory and yet somehow Jane had done exactly that.

Maura sighed heavily, glancing down at her watch. She still had time to fill in while waiting for the order. Was she the problem? It didn't take a medical degree to recognise that she hadn't always understood social cues, but she felt she had made a lot of progress in that department. Being involved in a friendship circle beyond Jane and her family had allowed her to learn many different social nuances quite quickly. She still had moments that left people looking at her strangely, but it was happening less frequently. Was she the one reading too much into an innocent encounter based on a third party description of the event? Was she allowing Gabby's clear emotional bias to taint her view on the situation? It was hard to say. She couldn't completely rule it out. Logically she believed she very well could be. Emotionally? It was difficult to feel anything but hurt.

Maura collected the pizza and made her way back home. A quiet talk over pizza was exactly what they needed. She would apologise for appearing to care more about Gabby than Jane, which had never been her intention, it just sort of happened because of the high standard she held Jane to. Her fiancée was one of the best people she knew for not abusing her strengths to the detriment of others. It had been a shock to her system when she had walked in right as Jane was choking the last of Gabby's consciousness away. Chokeholds were very dangerous. Basic self defence classes taught better, safer ways of gaining the upper hand in hand to hand combat. Jane was well trained. She did know better. Alas, she herself could have also expressed that in a more understanding tone. She really couldn't blame Jane for acting so defensive. Not given the circumstances.

Maura poked her head into the living room to see if Jane was there, a little surprised the smell of pizza hadn't brought her running. She smiled softly at the sight of Jane's arms tucked under her head and her legs stretched out along the couch. Her love was sound asleep.

Maura gently placed the pizza down on the coffee table and retrieved a blanket from the hall cupboard. She gently draped it over her fiancée, taking a moment to sit on the edge of the couch in front of her fiancée's sleeping form. She slowly tucked some hair back behind Jane's ear and soaked in the little piece of serenity it afforded her. This version of Jane right here, when she was at her most vulnerable, might just be the most beautiful version of her love.

Content to shelve their conversation for tomorrow Maura stood up and picked up the pizza pox to take it to the kitchen to put it away for later. Thankfully Jane liked day old pizza as much as she liked fresh pizza. Actually, Jane probably liked week-old pizza that was a case of food poisoning waiting to happen better than many of the healthy dishes she lovingly prepared for her. Maura shook her head with a smile. There was never a dull moment living with Jane Rizzoli.

"Where do you think you are going with that pizza?"

Maura turned and saw Jane stretch out her arms and look expectantly at her, no wait, it was the pizza box. Half a smirk formed on Maura's face. "I was taking it to the kitchen to pack away for tomorrow."

"Well I'm awake now."

The way Jane huffed was adorable. She had even managed a lopsided grin as their eyes locked. Jane's eyes spoke quite clearly and Maura could not deny her, as fun as watching her fiancée squirm could be. She returned the box to the coffee table in front of Jane. "Well since you're awake."

Jane moved so quickly she had flung the lid open and ripped a slice heavy in mozzarella, which dripped dangerously from the edge, away from the pizza before Maura had even finished her sentence. Maura's eyes followed the slice with mild alarm, relief hitting her when Jane's other hand scooped underneath it and caught the cheese just as it had fallen. Jane looked at her with an even wider grin, apparently pizza had been a very good decision.

"This is great, thanks Maur!"

Maura smiled. It was nice to hear Jane so relaxed. It had been a tough day and to get back to that point was a relief, even if it would be short lived. They still had to talk. It wasn't something they could or should put off, but for five minutes she would let her love enjoy the pizza. "You're welcome Jane. I figured after the day you've had it was the least I could do."

Jane's eyes fell to the coffee table before returning back to the pizza slice in her hand. Maura followed her gaze and saw the stack of papers hanging out from under the box. She reached down and picked them up, quickly ascertaining they were the files Frost had sent over to Jane. She was surprised to see Jane so relaxed if this had been her reading material while she was out getting pizza.

Maura sat down next to Jane and started looking over the file herself. She couldn't contain her curiosity and it would help if she understood exactly what Jane was seeing. She was sceptical about a connection to Hoyt, but the more she read while Jane so quietly focused on stuffing her face, the more she felt Jane's instincts were spot on.

A quick glance sideways and she saw what she hadn't seen when Jane had first woken up. Perhaps it took a minute for her brain to remember the night's new information or perhaps she had been hiding it, Maura wasn't sure. It didn't matter now. She could see how unsettled Jane was and it worried her. She set the file back down on the coffee table and placed a comforting hand on Jane's knee. "You read through all of it?"

"Uh huh," Jane answered between mouthfuls.

"It's not over is it?"

"Nope."

Maura nodded slowly letting that assessment sink in. Her experience with Hoyt hadn't been near as brutal as Jane's, but she understood the fear he instilled in her beloved all too well. She had never seen Jane as unsettled as she had been during their encounters with him and his first apprentice, and later Emily Stern. It was so bad that she actually took a brief lesson from Jane in how to hold and fire the then detective's service weapon so she could sleep. Nevermind how broken Jane had been after Hoyt's final play right before she ended up in Launceston. Maura shuddered from the thought.

Maura felt Jane's hand take her own and she locked eyes with her once again. The fear hidden behind them was unmistakable. She swallowed thickly, emotions from the past flooding back, hitting her in waves. Surprise interviewing Hoyt to find out his plans for Jane after the appearance of James Stern's body had been a wonderful tactic, but it came at a cost. A cost that she still carried. It wasn't near as traumatising as all of Jane's encounters, not even close, but his words definitely haunted her.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Jane pulled Maura into her body and wrapped her up tightly. Maura revelled in the comfort Jane's arms provided and steadied her mind. She repeated the mantra that she was nothing like him, repeatedly, while Jane ran a hand through her hair and kissed the side of her head.

"I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again Maura. You're nothing like him."

It was uncanny how well this woman understood her. Maura couldn't help but marvel at Jane's instincts. They were top notch. "How do you do that?"

"I just know you, Maura."

She most certainly couldn't argue that fact.

The evening wasn't going as planned and at this stage there was no point worrying about their personal issues, when the Hoyt apprentice situation was much more pertinent. "I'm sorry I doubted you earlier."

"Honestly, all I care about is that you're taking it seriously now."

She was. She was taking it so seriously that she actually brought Melissa into their conversation. "How did Melissa take the news?"

"Oh, she already knew it mirrored a Hoyt crime scene."

Maura pulled away to get a better view of her fiancée. Did she just hear what she thought she heard? "Excuse me? She knew and she didn't say a word to you?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah that was precisely my thought."

Just when she thought she had run out of ways to be surprised by that woman she had once again found a way to do so. However while Maura could tell Jane wasn't overly thrilled by Melissa's behaviour she didn't think it wise to comment further. Melissa undoubtedly had her reasons, but she really couldn't understand why she would keep that information secret. "Is she taking the threat seriously now?"

Jane scratched behind her ear. "I think so, I dunno though. I mean Kelly seemed alert to what I was saying but I'm not exactly sure how long she's going to be hanging around either."

Years of practice allowed Maura to keep her features in place despite the sudden discomfort she felt. She bit back the urgency she felt to find out more and casually said, "Oh? What's going on there?"

"Hell if I know. I mean I could hazard a guess. Gabby's bullshit fed Kelly's insecurities. When I got there she was ripping Missy to shreds. It wasn't pretty."

Maura looked away for a moment to compose her emotions. It made sense that Gabby's outburst would have an impact on Kelly given the woman's theory that Melissa was in love with Jane. The same theory that still had her feeling unsettled herself. She looked back at Jane and attempted to read her eyes, she couldn't see anything other than concern and she had to remind herself that that was perfectly natural. "Well I'm sure that they can recover from a simple disagreement."

Maura winced at the outlandish level of surprise Jane's face managed to convey. "That was more than a simple disagreement Maura. Kelly had her bags packed."

"Oh."

Jane shook her head. "I swear to God, if that woman leaves her…"

"She loves her Jane." Maura said confidently, "I'm sure once given a chance to calm down she won't end up going anywhere."

"Yeah well, Missy loves her too. I just don't know if Kelly has it in her to believe it."

Maura's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't been able to school her features with that one. It was a relief to hear. She breathed a little easier, gently patting Jane's knee. "There's one thing I do not doubt about Kelly and that's her love for Melissa. I have every confidence they will work it out."

"I really hope so, because I do not want Missy in that house alone."

If Kelly really did leave and go back home, even she wouldn't want that under current circumstances. She might not like Melissa much, but no person deserved to go through what she had already been through, let alone have the fact it wasn't necessarily over hanging over her head like that. "No matter what happens Jane, we will figure it out."

Jane looked at Maura with such love in that moment that she knew she had definitely said the right thing. She smiled into Jane's kiss and wrapped herself around her. She still had insecurities and she knew they would continue to resurface until they had a chance to deal with them like adults, but for the time being she felt content that Jane was here to stay. That was what mattered the most to her. She sighed contentedly against Jane's chest. "I love you, Darling."

"I love you too."

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this weeks offering. I tried very hard to focus each scene from one character's perspective alone. Feel free to tell me how you feel I went with that. I'm just working hard at my craft each week to try and become a better story teller. So does a pizza count as an apology or do we think Maura has more work to do? And what about Gabby? Is she going to be able to move on?