p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 36.0pt;"Soft moonlight fell through the window of Lord Farquaad's tower room, illuminating the red velvet bedspread and the man who lay on top of it - all four foot six inches of him. But there were more inches you were interested in./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt had been three days since your family sold you to Lord Farquaad to pay off their debt, and you felt like you were finally ready. You'd made excuses the first few nights when the king summoned you to his bedchamber, saying how you had to finish making gingerbread men for the royal feast. It was there in the hot, steamy kitchens that you overheard some of the other kitchen maids talking. At first you thought it was a joke but you couldn't get the idea out of your head. Now it was time to find out for yourself./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLooking at Lord Farquaad, already in his silk briefs on the bed, you felt a moment of doubt. His chest hair gleamed in the moonlight, beckoning you like uncut hay on a field of chest./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Come hither to me." Lord Farquaad's voice was silky, like the bedspread. He rubbed the space on the bed next to him, and you felt things. Sexual things./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanSlowly, you went hither. Up close you could see how remarkably straight his teeth were. It wasn't like a big deal to you, but it was kind of interesting to notice./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHe clapped his hands twice, and a servant stepped out of an alcove holding a tray with martinis./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Martinis!" Cried Lord Farquaad. He handed you one. The servant stepped back, but not all the way out of the room./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Is he going to stay?" You asked Lord Farquaad, but the king was already crawling across the bed toward you like a majestic lion advancing toward another lion./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Who cares?" said Lord Farquaad. Pulling you onto the bed, he rolled you underneath him in one swift movement and began to kiss you. It was like that moment at the dentist when they put their hands into your mouth, but if their hands were tongues and also you liked it. "Mmm, kiss me harder and more," you said./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanSuddenly, you felt something. A hard, BIG something. You looked down and saw his engorged trouser snake rearing under his briefs like a startled muppet. You longed to reach down and unveil it./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Go ahead!" Cried Lord Farquaad. So you did. Pulling down his briefs, which were also silk, you released his whizz-wazz./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Bop it, twist it, pull it – that's what I'm into!" Lord Farquaad gazed deep into your eyes. His glistening blue orbs (eyes not balls) were mesmerizing./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I need you," you moaned. "Oh sorry – I need you in my emlove cave/em."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanGrowling, Lord Farquaad ripped off your nightgown with his teeth. Suddenly you understood the value of strong teeth. Your nipples hardened with anticipation./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDriven by the passion of his lust, he thrust his manroot in to the hilt in one graceful swoop. He moved like a windy tube man in a used car sales parking lot, dipping to kiss you then flailing up again in a wild and unexpected rhythm. His turgid member throbbed in your secret flower, filling your lady parts with a warm waterfall./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt was too much. You had never had so big a schlong. Also it was 1:30 am and you misgauged how much energy you would have for spongy lovemaking. The speed of his thrusts increased, yet somehow also went to the rhythm of Smash Mouth's 'Somebody Once Told Me'. As you reached the apex of earthly pleasures, he pulled his love worm from your fleshy burrow. His eyes rolling upward, Lord Farquaad's milk launcher released a thousand child prototypes. For a moment you understood God's disappointment in the wastefulness of man. Spasming with mutual ecstasy, you kissed again like two dogs meeting each other at the park for the first time in a little while./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"There's a secret I'm going to tell you. You're secretly a princess of royal blood. That's why I bought you from your family to pay off their gambling debt and also the debt from their failed mattress store business. Now that I've made love to you I am the true king and you are my queen and we will rule forever and ever and make many babies." The end./p