Chapter 12
Lisa
"Look at you!" Mom coos, going right for Jennie's belly. Jennie grins and bears it, and I mouth sorry to her, knowing she doesn't like to have her stomach touched. "That's a definite baby bump. She's so precious, Lisa." Mom steps away, throwing her arms around me. She wasn't always overly affectionate, but seeing your eldest child repeatedly knock on death's door does something to you.
"She is," I agree. "I think I'll keep her."
"How are you feeling?" Mom asks Jennie, following us into the house. We're having dinner first, and Mrs. Kim went all out with the food. This wasn't supposed to be a big ordeal. Jennie and I wanted our family and that's it, but it's grown to more of a party-party than a small dinner party. We woke up this Saturday morning to Mrs. Kim bustling about the kitchen, starting the cooking and cleaning early.
I didn't expect my parents to come all this way, but Mom insisted she and Dad needed the break. Which they do. I haven't asked about Bobby but haven't been told he's dead or in a coma yet, so that's something.
"A little better," Jennie tells her. "Still sick, but it's worth it, right?"
"Oh, it is. And I feel like I should warn you. Both my babies were big. Lisa was nine and a half pounds."
Jennie makes a face and I laugh, wrapping my arm around her waist. She's wearing a pale pink dress. It's form-fitting, showing off the little baby bump she has going on. We go into the house, and I reintroduce my parents to Jinhwan, Donghyuk, and Jin. They've only met once or twice before.
My phone rings, and I'm sure it's the hospital.
"Need to take it?" Jennie asks, looking at the caller ID.
"Yeah. I have a patient not doing well."
"Go." She motions to her dad's office. "It's quiet in there."
"Thanks," I answer, stepping into the office. Instead of bad news, the nurse is calling with current lab results and wants to know if I have new orders for her. I go over a few things, happy with the small progress my patient is making. When I go back to the party, I find Jennie in the kitchen, talking with both her mom and mine. She smiles as soon as she sees me and my heart swells in my chest.
"How's your patient?" she asks, reaching for my hand.
"He's doing better. I just had to go over lab work and give a few new orders."
"We were talking about you, you know," my mom says.
"Uh-oh. Do I want to know what you were saying?" I step closer to Jennie.
She laughs and tips her head up to mine. "We were just saying how proud we are of you."
Mom leans in. "I might brag about my daughter the surgeon, just a bit." She winks, and Bobby's words come crashing down on me. Yeah, I'm fucking proud of myself too. It takes hard work and dedication to get through med school. It takes skill and talent to be able to slice people open, remove and rearrange internal organs, and have them not only live but leave in better shape than when they came in.
I'm a good doctor.
I should be proud.
Dammit, Bobby.
Mrs. Kim smiles and looks at Jennie. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I brag about this one to anyone who'll listen. Though I have the hardest time explaining what she does."
Jennie laughs. "I have a hard time explaining it too. I've settled on calling myself a professional super nerd. But really, Lisa, I am proud of you."
"Yes," Mom agrees. "And now you're almost done."
Jennie laughs. "Until she gets that trauma fellowship, which I'm sure she will."
The smile disappears from my mother's face. "More school? Even with a baby on the way?"
"It's not as long as a residency, right?" Jennie asks, and her hand subconsciously lands on her belly.
"Right. It's typically a year or two."
"Would you stay at the same hospital?" Mrs. Kim asks.
"No. I'm not sure where I'd end up. I'd love to get in at a trauma center. The more injuries, the better. For learning, I mean," I say slowly, trying not to notice the way my own mother is looking at me. A year or two doesn't sound long compared to what I've already been through, but missing a year of my child's life…being away from Jennie…is it worth it in the end?
"I didn't get a chance to tell you congratulations," Mom says to Jinwoo. We're halfway through dinner and I'm getting full already. Everyone is crowded around the dining room table. It's just like college when Jinwoo and I would make the drive here just for dinner. I put my hand on Jennie's thigh and turn to look at her. Maybe tonight I'll tell her—finally tell her—just how much she means to me.
She wants to take things slow, and I think we are. We're finding out what we're having today and are bordering on the second trimester. I don't know exactly what Jennie wants to expect. Whose last name is the baby going to take? Does she want to move in together?
If I get the fellowship, then that might not matter…
"Thank you," Jinwoo says, taking Kara's hand to show off her ring.
"So when is the big day?"
Jinwoo reaches for his water. "March sixteenth."
"Oh." Mom's eyes widen. "A few days before Lisa's birthday." And two before Jennie is due. Thank you, Mom, for not bringing it up. "How nice. Are you having it around here?"
Kara gives her details, and Jinwoo does his best not to look up across the table or at anyone else for that matter. Jackson slides out of his chair and crawls under the table, ignoring Jin telling him not to, and comes over to Jennie.
"Hey, buddy," she says and sits him on her lap. He leans over, gently poking Jennie's belly. Then he looks at me and Jennie's belly again.
"Is that what Uncle Jinwoo is mad?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" Jennie turns her head down to look at him.
"I heard Uncle Jinwoo say Aunt Lisa put a baby inside you. But how? Did it hurt? Did you swallow it like a watermelon seed and now it's going to grow big and big and bigger?"
Jennie's mouth falls open and she looks at me for help. I have no idea what to say either, and I'm becoming more and more aware of everyone else staring at us.
"If she swallowed it," Donghyuk starts, "then there wouldn't—" He cuts off when Jinhwan kicks him hard under the table.
Jennie's cheeks are turning red, and everyone from her grandma to my dad are staring at her. Jin twists in his chair, glaring at his younger brother. "Why don't we let Uncle Jinwoo explain this one since he's going around talking about it."
"Okay," Jackson says with a smile and looks at Jinwoo. "Where did Aunt Lisa get the baby? Why is it in Jennie's belly? Why didn't she just give it to her?" His brows furrow together and then he looks horrified. "How does it come out?"
Everyone sits in stunned silence for a good thirty seconds.
"Excellent questions," Mrs. Kim says, getting up. She goes around the table and takes Jackson from Jennie and goes into the kitchen, saying something about chocolate.
"Really?" Kara whisper-yells at Jinwoo, narrowing her eyes. She shakes her head and grabs her glass of wine, downing the whole thing in one go. The tension between the two of them is tangible, and Jennie is going back and forth between staring daggers at Jinwoo and looking so embarrassed she might cry. Everyone is quiet, and as each second goes by, it's getting more and more awkward.
"So Lisa," Jinhwan starts, pushing his food around on his plate. "Do doctors really wear Crocs or is that a TV myth?"
"I do in surgery. They're comfortable and don't stain easily."
"Stain?" Jamie asks, looking past Jennie at me. "What are you walking in that'll stain your shoes?"
"It's not what I'm walking in. It's what might leak or splash on me during surgery or when I'm taking care of patients after. The worst I had was a wound drain somehow falling apart and splattering all over me."
"Gross," Jennie says, making a face. "How does that not gross you out?"
I shrug. "It just doesn't. I changed after, of course. Wound drains smell."
Donghyuk shakes his head. "And I thought cleaning up puke at the bar on Sunday mornings was bad."
Jennie's mom and Jackson come back to the table. "Sounds like I'm missing a lovely conversation." She looks pointedly at the twins. "Though I will admit I was curious about the shoes too. You're on your feet for so long."
"What was your longest surgery, Lis?" Mom asks. "Ten hours?"
I nod. "That's my longest so far."
"Serious question," Mr. Kim asks. "What do you do if you have to use the bathroom during an operation."
"You scrub out and go. If a surgery is rather long, there's usually another surgeon in there anyway. And during long procedures, I tell my team to take breaks if they need them. I'd rather have a nurse step out for five minutes than pass out from being dehydrated. It's usually hot in the OR."
Mr. Kim playfully elbows his wife. "Still think those romance doctor shows are realistic?"
"Lisa won't watch those with me," Jennie says with a laugh. "She critiques it the whole time."
Nodding, I smile at Jennie. "It drives me crazy."
The conversation comes back to the table, and the awkwardness fades away. Once we're done with dinner, Mrs. Kim and my mother clear the table. I offer to help but am shooed away, being told to go sit with Jennie who started feeling sick. It was the first time in a while she ate everything on her plate and having a full stomach can make anyone not feel well.
Jennie is in the living room with Jamie, and I sit on the couch next to her. Jennie rests her head on my shoulder and I drape my arm around her body.
"You know what's weird to think about?" Jennie starts, stretching out her legs. "Like ten or twelve years ago, we could have been in this very spot. All of us."
"We used to bicker over who got to sit by you," Jamie laughs.
"I know," I tell them both. "I already told Jennie, but you two were obvious back then."
"I thought we were so sly," Jamie laughs. "It's crazy how things turned out."
"Yeah, it is." I lean over and give Jennie a quick kiss. She closes her eyes, and after a few minutes of resting, she feels better enough to get up and fix her hair before we open a box full of either pink or blue balloons.
As soon as Jennie leaves, my dad comes and sits next to me.
"Mom said you're thinking about a fellowship?"
"Yeah. For trauma surgery."
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"
"It is," I assure him.
Dad just nods, and I'm sure he's thinking the same thing as Mom…which is what I'm thinking now.
"Where's Jennie?" Kara asks, coming into the living room. "The box is out, and I can't promise Mrs. Kim won't accidentally open it."
I laugh. "She went to fix her hair. I'll find her."
I leave the living room and get cornered by Jennie's grandmother, who openly hit on me the last time I spoke with her.
"Hello, doctor," she says and eyes me up and down. "Come here."
"I, uh, I need to find Jennie," I stammer.
"She can't know what we're doing."
Oh God.
"What?"
"Keep your voice down." She grabs my hand and pulls me forward. She's too old to be this strong. "Act natural if anyone comes in." We go into Mr. Kim's office and Nana shuts the door behind us. I spent over ten years in school yet nothing has prepared me for this.
"Jennie is my only granddaughter," Nana starts. Wait. Jennie has two female cousins. "Well, the only one who's dating someone I tolerate. I more than tolerate you." She winks and reaches into the little sequined purse she's carrying. "Which is why I want you to have this."
I blink, staring at the ring in Nana's fingers. "It was mine," she says softly. "It's nothing fancy, and the ring won't fit Jennie. But I want you to have it, take the diamonds and make it into something Jennie would like."
I take the delicate ring, unable to say anything.
"I can tell you love her." Nana curls my fingers around the ring and pushes my hand away. "And call me old-fashioned—what have you—but you knocked her up. You should marry her."
Yes, she is old-fashioned. The problem isn't me not wanting to marry Jennie. It's me not knowing if Jennie wants to marry me. Not yet at least.
"Take your time." Nana zips her purse. "But not too much time. I don't have much longer left to live." She gives me a wink and leaves the office. I'm stuck, rooted to the spot with Nana's ring clutched in my hand.
Blinking, I shake myself and put the ring in my pocket, a little worried I'll lose it. I have to take another minute to collect myself, and then I go find Jennie. She and Jamie come down the stairs as I'm coming up. Jennie's hair doesn't look any different to me, but she's glowing, and seeing her makes me feel like I did the first time I laid eyes on her.
Only now, she's mine.
I grab her by the waist and pull her in for a quick kiss. Fuck going slow. Jennie is mine…and I want her to be mine forever. I can feel the ring in my pocket, and I don't think I can go any slower. I want to propose to her tonight.
