Luigi was walking around the castle.
This was before the event.

Luigi was walking

Sorry, this was before the start of this series I mean.

Luigi was walking around the castle yard. He had a twinkle in his eye and a smile wider than anyone within 2.6 miles. He watched as the Toads decorated the town and castle with Halloween Decorations. They had a big party that was coming up.

Toadette ran up to him, "Luigi! The Princess asked me to take you to your room. She says it's a surprise and for you not to come out of your room for 4 hours."

"Oh, okay," he shrugged, following her.

She led him to a random room on the second floor of the castle, and shut the door behind him.

"Hey!" Luigi shouted said, turning the doorknob. It was locked. "What gives?"

"The princess told me not to let you out until 4 hours are up."

Luigi twirled his mustache. "But why?!"

"Because she wants to give you a surprise! And the only way for you to get the surprise is if you stay in there!"

"That doesn't make any sense..." Luigi frowned.

"It does to her! Just trust her, please, Luigi." Toadette said as her voice and the sound of her footsteps disappeared slowly. Not like she got grabbed it was just fading away because she was walking further away.

Luigi looked around his room. He noticed something was off, it was his room but a room where things have been misplaced almost as if someone was looking for something but did a poor job covering their tracks. He looked around, his room was clean except for some random stuff here and there. He was pretty messy, so he didn't notice the mess was unusual. He sat on his bed and began playing a gameboy he found.

He heard something fall off a shelf, he jumped and looked at the thing. It was a book. He got up and went to see what it was. It was a dusty, old-looking book, titled "Ghost Stories."

"How strange. This book is covered in red paint" Said Luigi. "Smells like copper too."

He picked it up and looked at the cover. He opened the book and saw it was all scribbled out, and the paper was torn out. He threw it into a garbage can.

Suddenly, he heard a creak from the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry, who's there?" He said.

He looked around the room, but no one was there. He decided to go back to the the bed. He put the game down and walked back to the bed, but was stopped.

A tall, skinny, black figure was standing right in front of him.

"What are you doing here, man?!" Luigi said. "Do you have a reason for being in my room? If not, leave, or I'll call the guards!"

"Don't bother. You'll be dead before they get here." The shadow said.

"W-what?" Luigi stuttered.

"They'll never get to you, Luigi." The figure takes over there hood to reveal…a skull!

"A skull!" Luigi shouts, "Then that must make you-"

"Yes, Luigi! I am Death and I have come to reap your mortal soul. Tonight, I'LL be the plumber and you'll be the mock in the pipe in need of draining."

Death hovers toward Luigi but Luigi cried out, "But why, Death!? Why must I did today!?"

Death shrugs, "Hey, man. Take it up with the Life Department, I'm just doing my job. Anyways, where was I? Oh yes, I was here to take your soul. I'm still kind of new to this job, there's actually a lot of Deaths out there, who'd a thunk it, right? Point is, the guy who trained me was kind of half assing it with me if you want my honest opinion. So I never learned how to rip a soul from a body with a deathly touch. I've seen it done but I can't do it. Not the right way, at least. So, again, sorry, I'm just gonna sort of stab you to death with this boat knife my dad left lying around his old garage. I'll try to be quick about it, I'm learning on the job as it were, so please hold still to make this go as smoothly as possible."

Luigi panicked and with his teeth chattering he muscled up the courage to call him the fuck out. "I don't want to die yet you boney phony! You have the wrong guy!"

"Oh okay that's fucking it." Said The Grim Reaper. "I'm calling my boss and he's gonna take you down."

Before Grim could summon his phone from his pocket, a ghoulish looking tall businessman with nice slicked back black hair appeared behind him.

"No Barson, you can't keep doing it this way. Stop calling me, especially on my days off." He said with a booming voice.

"OH- OH HEY." Said Grim. "Dude. But Luigi-" As Grim said his final words on this earth, he turned to a pile of dust.

Luigi fell to his knees in fear.

The ghoulish man looked at his phone. "Oh don't panic. He's a wadgie. Speaking of, I'm hiring. My name is Sinister Vash. Just call me Vash. I really fucking hate my first name. I'm running my old mans business for him while he retires in Gainesville Florida. You know the place where they found Bin Laden? Oh well anyways you're coming with me anyways."

He grabbed me the struggling Luigi by the arm and whisked him away to the underworld. As this happened, Mario was watching the last few seconds unfold. He held his coffee in hand. His face looked shorn of sleep and energy. He took a sip. He shrugged and scratched his exposed sweaty waved his hand at the door dismissively and walked away.

Luigi was teleported through the intra-dimensional gateway between worlds. There was lots of abstract images flashing by him at Ludicrous Speed, like melting clocks, estrogen pills, and other things indicative of art degrees. All while this happened he screamed "WAAAAHHHHAAAAA!" In fact, he screamed for so long, the journey was over, and he was already at a fancy underworld tailor shop, being fitted by a muscular, but thin legged, blue troll man who was wearing a nice shirt and vest but no pants. They were taking his measurements as Luigi composed himself.

Luigi cleared his throat. "So, uh. I-"

"Full time. 40 hours a week, you get benefits. You get 9-13 dollars an hour. Whatever I feel like giving that week." Said Vash.

"Hang on, I never said I'd," Luigi paused, "wait, benefits? Like dental?"

"Prostitutes. I mean if you want dental yeah. But free sex. With women, men. Womenmen. Menwo"

"What are the last 2?" Said Luigi.

"I made them up to fuck with you. Oh damn, that suit looks fuck on you. Do people say fuck like that…? Oh what ever. Your first job is to reap the soul of- Oh fuck. You good with kids?"

"WHAT? NO." Said Luigi.

"Gah! Fuck i'll do it later. Alright your actual first job is- an Old lady. Her name is Con Heiress. Not the one from Family Guy." Said Vash.

"I- I guess?" Said Luigi.

"Okay, so uh i'll warp you there and bring you back in an hour." Said Vash snapping his finger, making Luigi disappear.

Before Luigi knew it, he was warped to the house of his target. He doubled check the address and nervously knocked on the door. A small kid around 8 years old opened the door. "Amazon man?" he said.

"N-no? I'm the reaper." Said Luigi.

"What is that?" Said the kid.

"Oh. Is your grandma home?" Luigi asked.

"Yup!" the kid said as he shouted at the top of his lungs. "NANA!"

A shriveled old women, who was barely even considered alive was wheeled up to the door by a tall blonde women, with a massive rack, only covered by a bath towel, pushed her. She had a thick southern accent.

"Maw, this man is here to see ya. You taking the grieg list to babysit her? Oh thank the ." She handed Luigi her towel. "I'm off to go run in the streets naked until something bad happens to me. Or not. I dunno. See ya!"

The lady, like the wind brushed passed Luigi before he could say anything. The old women cleared her throat. She then started coughing, violently. She finally settled down and spoke.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asked.

"Oh uh. Well." Luigi stuttered. "I'm the reaper and-"

"Wait a minute. I recognize you. You're not the reaper. You're Luigi, aren't you? What are you doing here, in my house?"

"I was told you were a candidate for being reaped. You know, to get your soul."

"I've been expecting you. For a long time." Said the Old women. "My name is Con Heiress."

"You're-a not the one from-" Luigi asked.

"No, no. I'm not. Anyways, I have a proposition for you. I don't want to be reaped."

"You-a don't? Said Luigi.

"No, I actually want you to kill my other her and I'll pretend to be dead for you." Con said. "She's sleeping in there."

Luigi scratched his head. "Uh, okay."

Con dragged Luigi inside and pointed to her room. As she opened the door, there was a room with one bed and a lot of machinery around it. Tubes and tubes were hooked up to the women.

"She's my daughter. She's dying. We had an accident. She's been in a coma for years. And now her organs are failing. She's dying. But you can do something." Said Con.

"Oh- Oh my god. I can't just-" Said Luigi.

"Please. The doctors- they're just making her worse.I miss her and want her well again, but It's just hurting her with each step, Set her free and make her fly again." Con said, letting the tears run down her face.

Luigi paused for a moment. He gripped his arm and looked at the woman. "I'll do it."

"Oh my god." Said Con. "OH MY GOD!"

"Huh?" Said Luigi.

"You're a fucking monster jesus christ. You were really gonna kill my daughter for me? She just has a weird feti-" Con's words were cut off as Luigi slashed her in half with his scythe made from magic energy.

"I never said I'd kill her" Said Luigi.

Just then, Vash appeared in the room. "Kick ass dude. Not the movie, but the phrase."

"I know." Said Luigi.

"Oh shit you do? You probably have a different type of autism then. The smart kind." Vash said.

Luigi looked at Vash for a few seconds before asking with a genuinely concerned. "What?"

Vash sniffed and clicked his teeth. "Anyways, let's go meet your other workers." He clapped his hands and he, along with Luigi, appeared in the breakroom.

"Whoa, do it again, boss!" Said an exasberated Vodka. Yes, THAT one.

"No, that won't be necessary." Vash smirked a smugging smirk. "Anyway, Luigi. Say hello to goons 1-15! You'll rarely be interacting with them for the remainder of this chapter."

"The what now?" Luigi replied.

"-And this is our secretary, Janice." He continued. "Umm, Janice? What is it you do again exactly?"

"Beats me. And stop calling me Janice." Said Jeanine from Ghost Busters. "Heya, cutie. Ooh, we gots' a real green thumb o'er here, Vash. Literally! Where do you fish these newbies out of, a dumpsta?"

Vash immediately threw his coffee mug on the floor scattering the hot fluid and shards of ceramic onto the tile flooring. "DON'T MOCK HIM, HE'S STILL GETTING HIS FEET WET!"

Luigi tried to avert his attention away from the awkward situation he now found himself in. "Umm, t-thanks, Vash? …I guess?"

"I'm sorry you had to see that, pal." Vash gave a somber smile as if recalling something tragic. "Y'see, things just haven't been the same between Janice and I ever since…well anyway, you probably want to know why you're here and what our organization does?"

"Not really, no." Luigi said hocking a mean loogie.

"Oh good, no need to explain then. Thought i'd fill in the reader, you're a man of few words I see." Said Vash. "I'll keep it brief then. As you know, it's Halloween AGAIN. Man, I really wish that day would stop coming back each year! And that's precisely what we need YOU for!"

Luigi asked, "So, you want me to…get rid of Halloween?"

"Correct." Vash said.

"Huh?" Luigi responded.

"What?" Vash said back to him.

"How exactly do you want me to do that?" Luigi retorted.

"Well, it's actually quite simple. Y'see, every Halloween, a bunch of kids come to our doorstep asking for candy or some shit." Vash paused. "I don't really get why! It's ALWAYS October 31st too! Isn't that weird?!"

Luigi was remarkably unsurpised. "Uh-huh."

"I know! So that's where YOU come in." Vash nodded as if that conveyed all the necessary information.

"Umm, why don't we just stop buying candy?" Luigi suggested. "Or better yet, maybe just DON'T greet them at the door?"

"Nah, tried that. I get hungry, so I always end up buying the stuff for a snack. Pretty much all I live off of." Vash said cooly through the noticeable gap in his teeth. "Here, come with me!"

And so, Luigi and Vash sat eerily on the floor next to the entrance to the Reaper Institute as they awaited to hear the sounds of excited children approaching them. "You ready for this, partner?" Vash asked.

"Umm, I gu-"

"CAN IT, HALF PIPE! HERE THEY COME!"

A flock of tiny humans adorned in various colorful costumes approached the mustache'od man. "Trick or treat! Oh cool! Your Luigi costume is stellar, Mister!" Said one annoying snot.

"Aheheh, y-yeah…" Luigi blushed. "S-So, about the candy…Y'see, the problem there i-"

One punk in red pajama onesies interrupted him, "Shut it and hand over the candy! We didn't ask for an explanation!"

Vash whispered, "What are you waiting for, new recruit? Give the kids what they asked for!" He gave a heroic thumbs up of approval.

"ALRIGHT, HERE GOES!" Luigi ate a fire flower and torched the living hell out of the children, and as they screamed in utter agony, Vash was sitting back chillaxing, pigging out on some potato chips.

"You…You did it!" Vash congratulated Luigi. "I knew we had the right man for the job!"

"I-I…I did?" Luigi laughed. "Yeah! I guess I did, didn't I? And all without Mario, too!"

"Yeah, no doubt, with no more kids in the neighborhood, we won't have to worry about Halloween coming back next year!" Vash agreed and it was so. They even threw an initiation faculty party to welcome Luigi into their ranks…

"SURPRISE!"

…"W-Wha?!" Said a startled, now conscious Luigi. "W-Where am I? What happened to the Reaper Institute?"

Luigi woke up surrounded by the likes of Mario, Princess Peach and the toad he had seen earlier.

"Man, bro! I gotta be honest, I was worried you didn't have what it takes!" Mario said with over enthusiastic glee and reassurance. "But damn, does Peach know how to throw a surprise party or what?"

Luigi was enraged, "Yeah, what! What is happening? Was I dreaming?"

Peach cut in, "Well, only sorta, kinda! Remember that surprise I asked you to wait 4 hours for? Well, you managed to fall asleep in that time…which is exactly why we had you wait that long!"

"I'll take over from here, your highness." Toad politely cut her off. "So, once you were asleep, we finally had a unwilling subject for our depravation chamber experiment! Using the latest in Mushroom Kingdom technology, we were able to craft a dream scenario and observe your actions within said dream!"

"So, let me get this straight…you subjected me to a gas-induced nightmare?" Luigi said half in a daze.

"Yep! Happy Halloween, asshole!" Mario and the gang hyucked heartily. "We had to test your loyalty, we're developing this mind weapon to defeat the enemy someday and you've been losing your grit lately." Mario looked worried. "I was afraid…you lost your touch and softened up on me. If we're to rise in the ranks someday, I'm gonna need my bro to be there with me."

Mario coyly extended his hand, "So bro, you ready to kick major butt again?"

Luigi then jumped up with new found determination and exclaimed(!), "...I'll think about it!"

To Be Continued…