Note

The chapters are already written but it take some time to edit each one of them.


Chapter II

Arrangements


I would probably have stood there with such a stupid face until the end of time or longer, but luckily I woke up when Angela tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear.

"Bells, are you going to stare like that, or are you going to come over to them. No one will be offended if you leave our company for a moment."

Apparently the pack members thought the same, because I didn't have to go anywhere. It was Jake who decided to approach us, much to the girls' delight.

"Bells...long time no see." He said, narrowing his eyes. Did he make that pause on purpose?

"Hmmm… well, I guess we both had a lot of studying before the end of the year…" Jesus, my lack of eloquence was almost palpable.

"Angie, will you let me kidnap Bella for a moment? I wanted to talk to her privately." Jacob asked her.

Angie's face said "Bells, will you steal this handsome guy from under our noses too?"

Well, for now he has me rolled over. In the dark room, he looked for a place where we could hear anything except loud music. I noticed that it was an emotionally pulsating piece, in a grunge style. Garbage "You look so fine".

I leaned my back against the wall, Jake stood in front of me. I felt like a little girl facing disciplinary expulsion from school. Jacob on the other hand was focused and serious.

"Bella, I think I should apologize to you for everything..." he began. "I went too far and what's worse, I gained nothing except that Edward left. I probably should be happy about this turn of events, but I know how much he meant to you. Well, maybe I'm a little happy, maybe apologizing isn't entirely in order, because it's hard for me to pretend to be truly remorseful... It's really impossible to forget about that night... Well, that's not what I was going to say, Bells... I hope you understood why I haven't spoken for so long. And I probably would have remained silent even longer if we hadn't bump into each other tonight."

I had been afraid of confrontation for so long, having strange visions of Jake accusing me of my selfishness, of playing with him, of my silence, of not trying to stop him from leaving, that now, hearing his short monologue, I felt relieved... almost joy.

I smiled tenderly. "I wanted to apologize too... I was silent because I didn't know what to say, and I don't know now either. Edward didn't leave me, he just gave me time to think."

He grimaced slightly.

But I continued. "I think we should act normal towards each other."

"What do you mean by normal?"

"Just like before, two friends, joking together, hanging out, just like other people."

"Bells, I can honestly say that I don't really like the role of a suitor without constantly courting you, and that's what the previous NORMALITY was all about."

I was confused... He was right.

"Jake, I think you should look around too, see how many people, specifically girls, are around. You know, I think we should both take some distance from everything, just like that."

He moved closer to me, I felt my pulse getting out of control, I didn't know if he had another crazy idea to kiss me or...? I heard the chorus of the song, which was like a commentary on our conversation.

You're taking me over

Drown in me one more time

Hide inside me tonight

Do what you want to do

Just pretend happy ending

I saw the anger in his face, his eyes were the deepest shade of black, he smirked and whispered straight into my ear.

"Distance?" He was so close that I could feel the heat radiating from him, and I could also smell the resin forest. His face was right next to my temple and he was tickling me with his hair. Suddenly another image flashed in my head... His arms, my hands on his shoulders, moving lower, along his back, to his buttocks. Me impatiently urging him to go as fast as possible, as deep as possible... I felt like I couldn't control my breathing.

He must have noticed it, because this time with a devilish smile he whispered his question again.

"Distance…?"

Suddenly he moved away from me, straightened up and said.

"As you wish."

Then he took my hand and calmly led me to my group of friends. We were no longer in a position to talk, so I was tormented by a million unasked questions and the desire to hear an explanation as to why he was so irritated by my proposal. But Jacob behaved completely naturally, talking to my friends, and joking... Maybe it was my oversensitivity, but I was waiting for some event with a beating heart. And sure enough, he was about to start a little show…

The whole company started to integrate a bit. First, the boys from the reservation approached us, supposedly joking with Jacob that he had talked them into going on a trip, and then he had left them at the mercy of the local girls - they actually aroused great interest with their original beauty. Later, the girls from my group suggested that we sit together and so some of the group left to look for a place. The venue was multi-level, one of those places where different music plays in each room. In ours, as I noticed earlier, you could hear slightly dark, sensual songs, great as a background for flirting and loud enough to force physical contact if someone had something to say to someone and didn't want to shout.

Jacob didn't sit with us, he went to the bar with Embry to order something for everyone to drink. God, my childhood friend bought alcohol, went to parties and... as I saw, unlike me, he felt great in here.

I tried not to follow him with my eyes, but it wasn't easy, because his silhouette stood out so much from the crowd that I had the impression that half of the women couldn't take their eyes off him. It's strange, throughout our relationship I never once had the opportunity to notice how it affects women. Because there was none around!

Suddenly everyone's eyes fell on the entrance to the room. Leah... She came too, apparently much later.

Leah Clearwater was a beauty, and her beauty was matched only by her sharp tongue. She was famous for being unapproachable, even among the pack she had no soul mate. She looked around, looked with distaste at the intimacy of our two groups, and without greeting anyone, walked straight to Jacob. I didn't notice that they exchanged a single word, telepathy was probably enough for them. What interested me, however, was that she smiled at him, as if agreeing to some proposition. This was intriguing because Leah and Jacob were generally arguing constantly. I knew I was the main reason for these arguments, because Leah seemed to make it a point to personally talk me out of Jake's head.

I looked at them, trying to talk to Jessica - to this day I don't know what about. And with some hard-to-grasp sadness, I saw how they fit together. The cinnamon skin tone, black hair... and beauty. Not only did Leah have a flawless face, coal-black eyes, and full lips like Jacob's, she also had a body that radiated incredible strength.

She looked more like a puma than a wolf, and I also knew she was the fastest and smartest of them all. She was wearing a short skirt showing long, beautifully sculpted legs and a white tank top perfectly emphasizing her round breasts and slightly muscled arms. She made me look like an ugly, featherless duckling. I felt a twinge of jealousy, I don't know if it was more because of her beauty, or maybe because of how good she looks next to him.

To make matters worse, Jess, as if sensing what I was thinking, said, looking in their direction.

"These two look like they were tailor-made for each other."

"They don't even like each other," I replied, trying to believe it myself.

"I don't know, Bella, look." I turned my head towards them and was speechless.

Leah and Jake left the bar, leaving Embry laughing there, and joined the group in the middle of the dance floor. I watched as if I was hypnotized…

Someone from the pack laughed and shouted to the others

"Look, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers."

Everyone's eyes turned towards them. They barely touched each other, even though their bodies were millimeters apart. The Kosheen song "Hide you" was playing, in a slower, even more sensual version.

It seemed like Jacob and Leah could not look at each other at all and their bodies would still be perfectly synchronized during this dance. I didn't know if it was talent, animal instinct, or wolf telepathy. Probably a bit of all of that. I remembered Edward once telling me that wolves could send each other not only words, but also mental images and even sensory experiences.

They were like one organism, one rhythm, like this music. Consistent, although not entirely predictable. Leah turned her back to Jacob. I felt myself blushing with emotion as I watched her move her hips, almost nuzzling her buttocks against his lower abdomen. Her agile figure looked like it was made for dancing, every muscle movement visible under her skin, slightly shiny with sweat. And yet there were still millimeters of space separating them.

So how did he know what move she would make to blend perfectly with her? I saw, or maybe I just imagined, that Leah's back was already touching Jake's chest. She was taller than me, the top of her head was level with his nose. I saw clearly how she sensually tilted her arm behind her, wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and, with a light gesture, brought his face closer to her hair. Jake smiled and touched her hair with his lips very erotically. I don't know if she felt his gesture, but she smiled, closing her eyes.

They both seemed to be conducting a dialogue with this dance... She was sometimes moving closer to him, sometimes moving away from him, he was smoothly accepting her movement, his hands were already waiting where her body would be in a second. A perfect harmony of phenomenally beautiful figures, emanating strength and mystery. They both seemed to be listening to the words of the chorus, and after its first line.

If you were in my heart

I'd surely not break you

If you were beside me

Then my love would take you

I'll keep you in safety

Forever protect you(…)

Jake turned his head and looked me straight in the eyes. I held that look for five seconds, then got up and left. If I could, I would walk to Forks, but the closest refuge was the toilet…

I stood with my back against the wall of the corridor leading back to the rooms and tried desperately to calm down. I thought I was the embodiment of maturity, and he made me exhibit hysterical behavior befitting a fifteen-year-old.

I felt ashamed.

My mind told me that I really had no reason to be angry, but that only slightly cooled my fury. In my current state of mind, my mind was busy designing scenes in which I tried the right hook - or better yet, the left hook, since my right hand still hurt from the last time - on Jake's smug face.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and decided to count to one hundred when I heard familiar footsteps, followed by his concerned voice.

"Bells, why are you gone so long? Are you feeling unwell? You only had one drink!"

He came up to me, caressed my cheek with his hand, calming me a little from the sinister mood with his tenderness, but not enough for me to refrain from commenting.

"Yeah…? Weren't you too busy to monitor how much and what I drank?"

Jake burst out laughing. He looked genuinely amused. He had that mischievous look in his eyes that I liked so much from the time when we both could act normally around each other.

"Bells, I love, I just love, how jealous you are!"

I didn't give myself time to think of an appropriate retort and acted instinctively. I punched him in the stomach. It didn't make a sound in my hand, but it hurt... Only me, of course, because he stood there and laughed loudly. He approached me again - apparently I didn't command much respect.

He pushed me lightly against the wall and when he was so close that I could feel the heat of his chest on my body, he gently grabbed my chin, brought his face a little closer and just when I thought he had decided to try to kiss me again, he whispered, narrowing his eyes.

"Distance, Bells…remember?"

"You…" I hissed, but I didn't have time to finish because he pulled me firmly with him to the bar, where our group burst into laughter again and again. It looks like the party was in full swing.

I lost track of time. Jake acted appropriately, as if trying not to provoke me again. He was the kind of person I liked, laughing, spontaneous, and open to everyone. The boys entertained the entire group with their banter, even Leah laughed once or twice. I tried not to watch her, but many times that night I felt her eyes on my back.

It was starting to dawn. We couldn't believe that time had passed so quickly, although, to be honest, I think each of us was tired.

Sam and Emily came to pick us up - I was supposed to return with the pack, since we passed my house on the way to La Push anyway. We all fit into the bed of the van and after a few minutes we could hear Quil and Embry snoring. Jacob giggled that they looked so cute together, leaning against each other in their sleep, that he was sure to come to terms with it soon.

Everyone burst out laughing, only Leah frowned and turned her head, seemingly looking at the trees we passed. I was sitting next to Jacob and I was surprised to notice that for the first time I was feeling a little dizzy. I felt my eyes closing on their own and my body becoming warm and limp, I no longer had the strength to fight sleep. I rested my head on his chest, he wrapped his arms around me and, warmed by his warmth and listening to his heartbeat, I drifted off…


I woke up lying on my bed as Jake was taking off my shoes.

"You were so tired... You didn't even wake up when I picked you up to deliver you sleeping to Charlie. By the way, I don't know if he believed that you just collapsed from exhaustion, because he looked like he wanted to test us all with a breathalyzer." He chuckled. "Shall I put on your pajamas…?"

"Asshole."

"Okay, okay… I was just asking," he laughed again.

"It was nice, wasn't it?" He asked rhetorically, because before I answered, he whispered. "Go to sleep." And instead of going to the door, with his usual grace, he jumped out the window.

Uh…Jake.


I was standing in a clearing illuminated by the first rays of sunlight. The forest seemed dead, as if something had sucked its soul out of it. There was absolute, unnatural silence. I knew it, nature is so focused, waiting for a predator to attack. Suddenly, a scarlet stain at my feet caught my eye.

Drip, drip, drip...

Blood flowed from my torn neck, from my forearms, from my hands... I couldn't make any movement, as if I was chained to that place. A twig moved in front of me, and eyes behind it were shining, staring at me. When the figure stepped out of the shadows, I immediately recognized its face. Leah… She bared her teeth in a cruel grimace and a terrifying growl escaped from her chest. Her lithe body tensed to jump. I knew what would happen now, I knew I was looking into the eyes of death. I woke up to my own scream…

I jumped out of bed because there was no way I could sleep any longer. Just then, Charlie burst into the room, startled by my screaming.

"Dad, it's just a bad dream. I'm sorry that I woke you up."

"Bells…I didn't sleep, it's eleven in the morning! The fact that you came back around five, so it's like dawn for you." He laughed under his breath." Kids… Where are you going, anyway?" He asked, seeing me putting on my shoes.

"To La Push, I'll come back later."

"La Push? Are you short of company after last night?"

"Dad, it's urgent, I need to talk to Jacob."

"Hmmm," Charlie smiled, but refrained from commenting. His happy face screamed louder than words... But he didn't know that he was wrong, and neither did I... I guess I didn't know anything anymore.


I arrived at La Push and jumped out of the car as if the seat beneath me was on fire. The door to the Black house was wide open, so I ran inside, greeted the stunned Billy, and without even asking if Jake was home, I ran into his room.

He was sleeping… I don't know what I expected at this time of night. I sat carefully on the edge of the bed, frantically wondering what I would say to him when I woke him up.

Every slogan, including the truth, seemed idiotic. I looked at his calm face. Black eyebrows, long black eyelashes, sensual lips… dark skin tone. I contemplated the outline of his jaw, his neck, the muscles visible under the smooth skin, the steadily vibrating artery... He was lying on his side, apparently naked, but fortunately his hips and lower abdomen were covered with a sheet.

No wonder he didn't dress for bed, it was summer and his body temperature was consistently at the upper limit. He was breathing steadily. I decided to let him sleep for a while and sat deeper at the foot of the bed, picking up a book lying on the shelf above the bed.

"Legends of the Quileutes" I knew this book very well, it was from it that I learned about the existence of shapeshifters. I reached deeper to choose something else, but of course, my innate grace caused me to drop a whole stack of CDs and two newspapers, most of the contents of the shelf, onto the bed. Well, I didn't have to wake anyone up anymore.

Jake sat up abruptly on the bed - thank God he didn't get up, considering his lack of clothes.

"Damn it, Bells, if I knew you wouldn't survive even a few hours without me, I wouldn't have gone out yesterday." I ignored this comment. Seeing my face, he asked seriously. "What happened?"

"Jake, please don't think I'm crazy, but I had one of those dreams…"

"Let me guess, the knight turned out to be old and bald… or, I know, you dreamed of something else and you immediately want to try it with me…?" He smiled innocently.

"Do you know that you are an idiot?"

"Okay, Bells, I'm all ears. What made you give up sleeping?"

"Jake, do you remember my dreams earlier? Remember how later each of them was confirmed in reality?"

"Well, it's true, they were prophetic."

"Jake, listen to this…" I told him exactly what I saw in that nightmare, and Jake listened very carefully. At the end, he smiled slightly and hummed a familiar fragment of yesterday's song.

If you were beside me

Then my love would take you

I'll keep you in safety

Forever protect you(…)

Suddenly he became serious and said calmly.

"Okay, Bells, this may not be the ideal topic for a late night, but believe me, I'm absolutely certain that Leah would never hurt you."

"Where do you get that confidence?"

"Bella, Leah may be secretive and difficult to reach… but she has no hostile feelings towards you… Or at least no more hostile than towards the rest of the world." He added with a smile. "She," he continued, "was very hurt by the love of her life. The worst thing is that being part of the pack, she is unable to escape from this topic. Leah experiences everything anew, seeing Sam and Emily here every day and involuntarily hearing his thoughts. We suffer along with all of them, so we know perfectly well what causes her when she is so... hmm... unfriendly." I would call it differently. "Don't worry so much, you won't be threatened by her… Can we talk about something more pleasant?"

"But…"I started the topic again.

"Do I have to shut you up personally? Or maybe shut your mouth and divert your attention from this topic at the same time?" Jacob offered, slowly getting up from the bed, so that the fabric covering his body began to slip dangerously…

"Don't you dare! I'm waiting for you to get dressed." I told him I was already standing in the doorway. "I'll be in the kitchen and make you some coffee."

Billy was sitting on the porch, so I could go to the kitchen without the embarrassment of being in a strange house. On the way, my eyes fell on the mirror hanging in the hall...

Holy fuck, I looked like the stars of mugshots. Messy hair, yesterday's clothes, dark circles under my eyes and remnants of mascara effectively emphasizing my tiredness. It would be best to sneak back home, get things sorted out, and then show people, especially Jacob. Hmm... So what I really care about is whether he likes me? I was thinking about my questionable presence, standing at the kitchen counter, sweetening my coffee because Jake drank bitter, strong, milk-free coffee, when suddenly I felt someone's hand touch my hair. I turned around so abruptly that I knocked my mug off with my hand and all the coffee landed on my blouse.

"Auch!" Jake stood in front of me, dressed only in baggy black sweatpants, as disheveled as I was – but only that – and looked with pity at my performance.

"Take it off, I'll give you a T-shirt. And go take a shower, you will stop being sticky from coffee and sugar. Oh, I won't give you any panties, I don't wear lace." He joked.

The orders have been issued. I got a towel and a T-shirt that would probably reach mid-thigh and I walked politely to the bathroom.

"I'll call Emily to drop off some shorts when she goes shopping," Jacob shouted through the door. The situation was under control. I stood in the shower, letting the hot water wash away my tiredness and coffee stains.

"Bells, can I wash your back?" He spoke again.

"Are you always so hospitable?"

Maybe to save some water, we could take a shower together…?" He laughed from under the door.

"Have you suddenly become an ecologist?" I laughed too, but out of the corner of my eye I checked whether I had really locked myself from the inside.

The stream of hot water relaxed my body. I wasn't in a hurry. I felt like I needed to focus and find time to think about the whole situation. Two days ago, the overwhelming malaise was driving me crazy. I was forced to deal with nonsense matters just to distract myself from my own emptiness, and today? Like a normal teenager, I tried to freshen up after the party.

I was going to spend the day parading around in my best friend's t-shirt, and strangely enough, I was enjoying it. I felt like a sick person on my first walk, after a month of lying in a cast. I also thought about Edward, although I decided to give myself another day of carefreeness, because thinking about him caused me pain.

My mind was a mess, as if millions of electric charges were bouncing around each other. I felt that they wanted to form some important thoughts, but I instinctively postponed this moment of epiphany.

Disheveled, without make-up, pink from scrubbing, wearing a loose white T-shirt, panties and socks borrowed from Jake, I finally emerged from the bathroom. Well, I didn't feel particularly sexy, but I was in a good mood and was genuinely excited about spending the whole day at La Push.

"Jaaakeee!" I exclaimed. "You can go wash now!"

"Bells, when I go out, let's eat something, okay? I don't know about you, but I'm starving!"

Without waiting for Jake, I decided to check the fridge. It was obvious that food plays an important role in the life of the pack, because the fridge was filled with almost factory quantities of it. The boys had a huge appetite. Apparently they also had a habit of visiting each other unexpectedly and, in the process, destroying all the supplies.

I started baking a stack of pancakes because I noticed a bowl of fresh raspberries in the kitchen and I felt an appetite for something sweet. For Jacob, the best breakfast would probably be eggs and bacon or something like that.

Plenty and nutritious... I thought. I went out onto the porch to ask if Billy would eat with us too. He smiled at me, grateful for the offer. It was clear to see that they lacked a bit of a female hand in the kitchen.

When Jake showed up at the door, everything was ready. He must have been in a hurry with his morning toilet, because drops of water were still dripping from his hair and his skin was still damp. It smelled fresh, something resinous. This smell reminded me of our night... He was still only wearing pants and was still barefoot.

He exuded the pure enthusiasm of a hungry wolf at the sight of food. He looked at me with appreciation.

"You have to move here, woman!"

I laughed at his response.

"So it's all about cooking!?"

"And also about…." He added in a sensual voice and then laughed himself.

"Okay, romance later, now to the table!" I ordered and sat down to eat my pancakes.

While eating, I couldn't take my eyes off Jacob eating his meal. He took obvious pleasure in it and ate five eggs, a pile of bacon, eight slices of bread and five of my pancakes with raspberries. He probably ate that much every day, and there wasn't a single pound of fat on his body - just beautifully sculpted muscles. Apparently, all creatures bordering on fairy tales were also characterized by fairy-tale physicality. And I must have looked very funny with my sagging socks and wild tigress hairstyle.

Jake thanked me for breakfast and got up to make more coffee, while I finished the last bite and started collecting the dishes.

Suddenly Jake said with laughing eyes.

"Honey, you've got your pretty face dirty… Right here…" He took my chin and gently touched the place dirty with raspberry juice with his thumb, and then, taking advantage of my confusion, before I could react, he gently kissed the red spot on my lips. I didn't react because this small gesture woke up a butterfly in my stomach. My heart was pounding like crazy. Jacob, sensing what was happening to me, looked into my eyes questioningly, and I felt even more ashamed. I had a great desire to run away, aware of the contradiction of my own demands and the reactions of my body.

"Bells, you REALLY like me…" he purred in my ear in the sweet tone of a happy boy, his right hand brazenly going under my T-shirt, straight to my butt. God, instead of defending myself, saving any semblance of pretense, I pressed my whole body against his - he only kept his balance because he could lean on the kitchen counter - and I started kissing him passionately. My head was spinning, I was out of breath when I felt his tongue in my mouth, and the butterflies in my stomach had multiplied into a hundred people drunk with desire. When I felt how excited he was through the material of our clothes, I immediately remembered the pleasure he gave me when we could taste each other this one and only time…

Damn… how I wanted him. I hugged his neck, still not breaking away from his soft lips. His eyes were closed, his breathing quickened, he was still caressing my buttocks with one hand, pressing me tightly to himself, while the other hand was on my waist, slightly in front, on my stomach, and then gently moved it towards my breasts. He grunted in satisfaction when he discovered I wasn't wearing a bra. He caressed me, driving me crazy. He stroked my breasts with gentle, circular movements, as if with delight remembering their shape and elasticity.

At that point he stopped kissing for a moment, looked deeply into my eyes and asked with a shy smile. "What are the chances that you will come with me to the room now…?"

"Zero!" I heard a voice, but it wasn't mine. Three smiling faces appeared in the doorway: Quil, Embry, and Seth.

"You assholes!" I recognized Leah's voice, who appeared a second later. Looking at them with pity, she added. "As you can see, idiocy has many faces... And three, to be precise!" She turned to me, pretending not to notice how embarrassed I was by their sudden intrusion. "How stupid it is to make out with the door wide open… Grab your shorts, although a titanium chastity belt would come in handy in this situation." She threw gray short shorts at me.

"Thanks... I thought Emily would give them to me…"

Leah's eyes darkened.

"Romeo and Juliet went beyond the reservation, making the people of Seattle sick with their tenderness."

"Then where...?" I asked.

Seth, Leah's younger brother, suddenly interjected, choking with laughter. "Jake had an obsession with your half-dressed ass. It was broadcasting like a city radio station."

Everyone laughed, except Leah muttered as she walked out to the porch to Billy.

"Overgrown puppy."

He hissed quietly in response, probably hoping that she wouldn't hear.

"Bitch."

To my surprise, Leah snickered under her breath, not even turning towards her brother.

"Scenes from everyday life, ignore them, Bells." Jake summed up the whole thing.

The boys had already settled in and were eating the rest of the pancakes, and I thought that this amount would be enough for a colony of kids for a week. They snacked on sausages found in the fridge and yesterday's yeast rolls. I liked this view. I even understood why... There was life in each of them! You could almost hear the strong beating of their hearts, feel the exceptional warmth and envy of their sensitive senses.

No, not one life, there were two lives locked inside each of them. Wolf and Man. Human sensitivity, pure, expressive feelings, voracious appetite and temperament, and primal joy felt with the whole being.

Until the day before yesterday, I felt halfway through. I had become accustomed to the idea that death was my fate, I wanted to meet it and welcome it as a benefactor. It was supposed to connect me forever with my beloved, let me last forever. And yet now, to the cold that had been so close until recently, I preferred warmth... Was Edward more important to me than the will to live?

I stubbornly put off thinking about him until tomorrow. I promised myself I wouldn't ruin our Sunday.

I got fully dressed, tied my already dry hair in a ponytail and went outside the house to see what everyone was laughing about again.

Jacob, Embry, Seth, Paul, Jared and Quil were playing soccer. I decided to lie down in the shade on a deckchair that was leaning against a tree when folded. I made myself comfortable and watched the boys' actions with amusement. I had a perfect vantage point from where I was standing. They were involved in this game like players of the national team. You could see how much they enjoyed competing and how ambitious they were. I focused my eyes on Jacob.

He ran without the slightest effort. He moved as agile as a dancer, completely unlike other men with a muscular build. It was everywhere. I looked through half-closed eyes at his muscular back, damp with sweat, at the neck that I had hugged so eagerly in the morning, at his snow-white smile as he joked about Seth's soccer skills. Who was?

I imagined what he had gone through during his transformation. Everything came together at one time. From a boy he became a man, carefreeness was replaced by duty towards the Pack, and the woman he loved stubbornly denied him her feelings. In addition, she wanted to die as soon as possible to be reborn as a vampire, all for a person belonging to the species he hated so much.

And yet, even in the face of all the emotions that tore him, he retained dignity and courage not to change, to remain himself and to love passionately, boldly showing this love. He had a youthful stubbornness and an irresistible desire to break the rules, thanks to which I was now sitting on a deckchair in front of his house, looking at him, contemplating these thoughts.

He impressed me and I understood him perfectly, I could do anything for love... A few dozen hours ago, I was almost ready to accept death immediately, just to be united with Edward forever, but now I needed time to redefine my feelings.

A lot of time, suddenly I stopped rushing... There are probably more people in the world who will never have to choose, but I suppose there are also people like me who carry the burden of responsibility for their future on their shoulders. And it wasn't just my life that depended on this decision.