A/N: The latest update my lovelies! (Sorry it's so late I got a little sidetracked). Anyway, I just realised that my headcanons for this fic are WAY different from how they were when I wrote the original. Like a lot of the characters have much more in-depth development and motives behind their actions. Like Duncan with his home-life; Heather with social pressure; Courtney and her own perfectionism; Anne-Maria struggling with her own identity; Dakota with peer pressure/bullying; oh and Gwen - I guess. Gwen is just the grouchy goth to be honest - although she's got more reason to be a goth. Kinda like escapism. There is basically SO much more going on in this fic. I haven't even mentioned Sadie and her ED and the other stuff.
Anywho, as you can probably guess I have gone WAY darker as I've gotten older. This version is definitely a lot darker than the first one - but I like that. Hey, we might add drug use (cause that is a real thing) but I may up the rating if that is the case. Cause drug stuff... well, it gets heavy and dark real fast.
Gucci Mane LaFlare - Thanks :)
Nevertheless, I'll stop chewing you guys' ears off. Enjoy the read and until next time,
D.L.D
Plots add Emotions equals Drama
Gwen's P.O.V
Unusually, for a weekend, I woke up early. On a Saturday. You know what was even weirder? For some unforeseen reason, as if it were ever a normal reason, I woke up and decided to make myself a pretty decent breakfast, dragging my half-asleep, dark-pajama-clad self down the stairs and into the kitchen. Without even one moan, groan or even mumble, I had shuffled into the kitchen, ready to start the day off great, only to come face to face with a note:
Morning Gwen! I've got to run some errands for the day and have the night shift at work again. I'll be back tomorrow morning, Love Mom.
Just a reminder: Your brother's gone to a friend's birthday party. Don't expect him back until tomorrow :)
Frowning, I read the note twice over before realising that was why I had such a good sleep. On most Saturdays I would be woken up super-duper early by my brother rushing to soccer practice while my mom bustled about in the kitchen, attempting to make everyone breakfast before zooming off for her twelve hour shift at the hospital. An empty house meant no noise; no noise meant Gwendolyn got a very good sleep. A very good sleep indeed.
Distracted by the note, I almost forgot about my breakfast plans. Only almost. Because a handy text from Duncan brought me back to reality, prompting for my hand to reach for the waffle mix stored somewhere in the cupboards.
*New Message*: 10:45 am - Duncan
Duncan: Hey pasty, you ready for the party tonight?
Rolling my eyes, I could only shake my head as I read over his text. Of course the party was the first thing on Duncan's mind. The very party that he more or less blackmailed me into just for the sake of roping me along.
Gwen: I literally just woke up from death. Do I really have to go?
Placing my phone to the side, I went back to prepping breakfast. Milk acquired from the fridge, as well as some eggs, I began to mix the powder mix and wet ingredients together. As soon as I had the waffle maker prepped, the little red light flickering to green, my phone pinged to life with a new message. Typical.
*New Message*: 10:59am - Duncan
Duncan: Yep. But we can always plan something else...
Nope. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. There was no way that I was going to let Duncan plan anything else all because I didn't want to go to some stupid party. If I gave Duncan enough wriggle room he would easily have me signed up for skydiving or playing some broke, middle-class version of the hunger games for barely any reward. Gwendolyn Maves was not up for a day of ducking, diving and dodging. Not when she'd just recovered from a week of hell - I mean, school.
Gwen: Nope. Party's fine. What time are you picking me up?
Duncan: Around 6. Y?
Gwen: So you DON'T come while I'm getting ready
After sending off that message, I decided to make my waffles that were starting to get stale in their bowl of congealed mix. Once before I made the mistake of not making sure that I knew what time Duncan was coming to meet me. Conveniently, as if the little shit had planned his arrival, he'd bumped right into me after a fresh, relaxing shower. Toweled up, sporting a big blush and definitely a bumbling mess: that was a moment of my life I vowed to never repeat. Even if we were only thirteen at the time.
Duncan: You know I'm gonna keep bugging ya until you tell me what's wrong
Frowning, I glared at my phone. This again? Really? I thought we resolved it yesterday.
Gwen: I already did.
For a while I don't get a response. Long enough for my waffles to finish cooking, for a plate to pulled out and the maple syrup poured, Duncan didn't respond. Usually he'd be lightning quick. Usually he'd respond within the blink of an eye. Maybe he'd fallen asleep or something.
Deciding to push Duncan to the back of my mind, I got to work on demolishing my perfect creation of a breakfast. Smelling divine, and definitely looking as such, my stack of homemade waffles definitely didn't look to shabby - all bias aside. Being left alone a lot as a kid, responsible for feeding your little brother with whatever was in the house, sure did teach me a thing or two about making good crap food. Noodles, boxed mixed and microwavable dishes were my element; real cooking was another story.
As I took a bite from my stack - perfectly syrupy goodness - my phone pinged once more.
Duncan: Are we still cool?
What sort of question was that?
Gwen: Of course. Why wouldn't we be?
Again, for too long, Duncan doesn't respond. In that time I finish my waffle stack and rinse off the plate, sticky syrup down the drain and crumbs following it. Shiny silver cutlery is placed into the dish rack and I almost drop the plate onto the floor when my phone chimed, indicating a new message. Before I even look at the notification, I know who it is. I've known Duncan too long to not know that I was it him.
Duncan: Nothing
But that nothing was what sat on my mind. That nothing, which spurred Duncan to ask such a thing, was heavy. Why wouldn't Duncan think that we're friends?
Katie's P.O.V
Groggily, my eyes fluttered open as my alarm clock woke me up. Five am: that's the new wake up call for me. Bright and early when the birds were calling, the sun not even rising in the dark autumn sky once the winter darkness finally hit the town. Waking up at five am definitely wouldn't be pleasant then. Future me was dreading those months, shivering in the cold as I rolled out of bed and forced myself into warm clothes for an early morning run.
Speaking of, I'd better get ready for it. Getting out of bed with a good stretch, I managed to enjoy a nice shower before getting dressed. Like always it was a matching outfit: pink fluffy sweater and white denim jeans. Sadie and I had bought it this summer - just before they'd sold out of the limited edition sweaters at the mall. One of kind - they'd been advertised as. They were the perfect thing to symbolize our friendship.
Ever since we made it through cheerleading trials, Sadie and I had decided to start jogging around the block. To keep Heather happy - and to help Sadie get to her dream weight - I decided to support her in the idea. Even if I didn't entirely agree with it. That's what friends are for, right? Encouraging their BFFFLS to follow their dreams, no matter how much you think that they're perfect just the way they are.
Before I left the house, I pocketed my phone and keys. Two mandatory items for a growing girl these days. Ever since I started high school, I would never leave the house without them.
Waiting outside, Sadie seemed excited for our first morning jog. Wearing a pair of white jeans and the same pink sweater, she grinned as she spotted me leaving, holding back the squeal that I knew she wanted to release. Squealing was something we did to share our excitement. But, at five in the morning, I doubt the neighbourhood wanted to be woken up by two teenage girls squealing away in the middle of the street.
"Morning Katie," Sadie couldn't contain her bright beam as I approached her. Wrapping me into a tight hug, one that was overwhelming in the scent of her glittery perfume, she smiled, "Thanks for doing this with me. It means a lot."
"Don't mention it," I hugged her back, just as tight and just as grateful. "I've been meaning to find an excuse to stay fit anyway."
Between us we stifled the upcoming storm of giggles. Together we were a menace to anything serious. Jokes and smiles, giggles and smirks, were always shared between us whenever we were together. That was why Mr Chambers had to seat us on opposite ends of the classroom in eighth grade. That was always why Mrs Price gave us a detention after English because we simply couldn't stay quiet while going through Shakespeare.
"Alright, now let's start jogging!" Sadie announced, ending our muffled laugh-fest.
Just like we planned, we did three laps round the block - starting off simple but still tough enough to wind us. For the first lap, it was effortless. Keeping a steady pace - something I'd surprisingly remembered from gym - I managed to avoid getting a stitch or becoming too winded. Sadie, on the other hand, had tried to speed ahead. By the second lap she was ready to call it quits but I decided to keep her going. Three laps was the start point and three laps would be done.
Both sweating, panting messes, we made it back to my house in one piece. Wordlessly, we kicked off our shoes and waddled into the kitchen. All the lights were still off so my parents were still asleep, meaning it was around six am. That meant breakfast would be my duty today - we took it in shifts depending on who woke up first. Automatically, I took my post at the stove and counters while Sadie perched at her usual spot, balanced on a stool at the kitchen's island table.
"So," I began gently, a slow extension of the word in a way that was hopefully casual. "What do you feel like eating?"
These days food felt like a danger zone whenever I was around Sadie. Since Heather had made her so self-conscious, I tried to limit conversations about diets and different 'weight-loss' recipes. Weight shouldn't be at the forefront of Sadie's mind - not when she was perfectly healthy as she was. Some people were just larger than others; just like how some people are taller than others. If only Heather Chang could get that...
"Something healthy," Sadie immediately responded, wise and almost mystical as she sat at my kitchen table. Waving a hand absentmindedly, she added, "Maybe something like a fruit salad or eggs?"
"Alright," I responded, heading toward the fridge to get my main ingredients. Fruit salad definitely wasn't going to fill us up - coming from a human twig - so we'd go with the eggs and toast option. Maybe with some avocado too. "Eggs and toast it is."
Content, I busied myself with the task at hand. In the background Sadie began to chatter about something, most likely her excitement about finally being accepted into the cheer squad. All of the girls had been so welcoming toward us - even Heather herself. Now that we were cheerleaders, we were essentially part of their family. Everything included us. All of those perks we used to miss out on were now ours to access. That included hanging out with Heather.
Breakfast took no more than fifteen minutes to prepare and dish. Soon Sadie and I were at the table, tucking into a well-deserved meal, only to both pause as we heard the familiar groan of the creaky step on the stairs. Someone else was awake.
"Morning girls," My dad smiled, used to the sight of his kitchen being taken over by the pair of us. Taking a seat at the table, probably predicting that I made enough breakfast for us all, he raised a brow as he glanced at us, "So, what have you two got planned for today?"
"Oh we're just going to the mall," Sadie waved it off as nothing while I got up, dishing out a thankfully still warm serving of eggs and toast for my dad. He'd never liked avocados. They were simply too bland for him - that's what he'd always told me growing up. "Heather said she'd meet us there."
"Heather?" My mother soon appeared, a graceful, sleepy figure in the kitchen doorway as she yawned. Still wrapped around her, the white material of her dressing gown glowed in the yellow beam of our hallway light as she raised a questioning brow, "Do you mean Heather Chang?"
There was no need for me to turn around to know what my mother thought. Sensing how your mother thought must be a unique mother-daughter thing because I could always tell without even seeing her face. Whenever I was making a bad decision I would always feel a strange twinge in my gut; whenever I knew that my mother wouldn't approve, I always heard her voice, advising me to make a completely different decision.
This morning wasn't any different. While I served her up a plate of eggs, toast and avocado, I could sense the disappointment. Instantly.
"Yes mama, but it's perfectly fine," I found myself saying, begging for my words to be enough to soothe her concerns. Sadie and I weren't little kids anymore; we could handle this alone. "Sadie and I can protect ourselves."
"It's not that I'm worried about, mija," My mother sighed, taking a seat at the table. As I turned around with both her and my dad's plates, I dared to spare a glance at her. Immediately I met her concerned face. "You know as well as I do that the Changs aren't very nice people. Mrs Chang... well she's raised her girl to be quite nasty, hasn't she? Do you both remember when she picked on you both because you wore matching outfits?"
"Yes, mama- " I tried to counter her.
"But it's different now," Sadie butt in, more eager than actually helpful. If anything her eagerness only heightened my mother's alarm - especially because she knew how impressionable we both could be when it came to our peers. "We're part of her squad now."
"Oh sweetie, it's never that simple," My mother solemnly shook her head, poking a few eggs with her fork. Turning away from Sadie, focusing her gaze on me, she asked in a gentle tone - the type that I knew was laced with a silent plea. "Just be careful ok? The Changs aren't the sort of people to leave you unscathed."
Those words sealed it for me. While Sadie nodded and hummed away, completely unaffected, I was rooted to the spot, my mother's words clinging to my mind. What if she was telling the truth? Heather wasn't always kind to us before - even when we were doing popular things. In the past, whenever we'd tried to please her, to fit into her clique, we always ended up being looked down on and cast to the shadows. What if the same was repeating right now? What if... Heather was using us now?
"Come on Katie, we have to go," Sadie had finished up breakfast, breaking my chain of thought as she pushed away from the table. "Or else we're gonna be late."
Blinking, I grabbed my purse, filled with all the items I'd possibly need, and left my stunned parents behind. All in favour of meeting Heather at the mall.
Dakota's P.O.V
Much faster than I would have liked, I arrived at the mall and managed to find a decent parking spot for my car. As I closed my car door I couldn't help but think about today being another horrible day. Another day spent feeling terrible. Already I could feel the dread setting in - and I hadn't even seen Heather yet. Part of me didn't want to because I knew that as soon as I saw her, any hint of her, my day would enter a downward spiral of feeling bad.
Flashy, drawing the attention of everyone around her, Heather's arrival was not one you could easily miss. Bright red, almost like a ruby in the sun, her convertible shimmered as her engine roared and Heather parked in a spot right up front. Sat in the back were Courtney and Lindsay - one a windswept mess and the other whooping with cheer. Heather, the Queen of Mean herself, was right up front, red halter-neck on and dark green mini-skirt to match.
When I approached them Heather was applying a new coat of lip gloss to her lips, watching her hand-mirror critically. Courtney and Lindsay were talking in low tones, Lindsay showing Courtney something on the lit up phone screen in her hand as Courtney smoothed down her fly-away hairs.
"Hey girls," Smiling, I attempted to try and stifle the choking feeling of awkwardness within me. It didn't work. "Where are Katie and Sadie?"
"They're five minutes away," Heather shrugged offhandedly, still focused on her mirror. Although her lip gloss was long gone, Heather was known to spend a while primping and picking away at her reflection. Getting ready for anything with her could be a complete nightmare. But still, I'd rather that to carrying out Heather's evil deeds. One thousand hours spent getting ready for one afternoon was much better than one minute of being evil.
Suddenly, Heather closed her mirror with a snap, drawing all of our attention, "Now, remember to stick to the plan, girls," Turning to face us all, scrutiny in her stone-grey eyes, Heather frowned, "We need to split them up one way or another. So act nicer than usual, get Katie's guard up and split up the Terrible Twins."
"But why?" I couldn't help myself. Knowing why, trying to justify the evil, was something I always had to do.
"Because," Courtney sighed, drawing out the word as if I was some kind of idiot. Rolling her eyes, she continued, "Katie's parents already know what Heather's like. Thanks to her reputation as a... well, not-so-nice girl. They'll get anxious about Katie hanging around Heather and they'll advise Katie to stay away."
"But," Heather butted in, shoving Courtney out of the way. Leaning over the back of the driver's seat, she grinned, "It will work to our benefit."
"Shoving me out of the way is rude!" Courtney huffed, clearly outraged.
"Well, you'll do well to remember your place," Heather smiled, one that stretched at her features in a menacing way. Clearly she was furious, ready to burst, and we all knew what happened if we managed to push Heather's wrath that far. Therefore, Lindsay and I weren't too surprised when Courtney clamped her mouth shut, her brows furrowing with resignation. There was no point in arguing. Not with Heather.
"Anyway," Heather sighed, seeming refreshed with the display of her power over the group. "Katie will become more anxious the nicer we are to them both. The worse her anxiety, the more suspicions she gains. Then they'll clash. And when Sadie is at her lowest point, lost and vulnerable without her friend Katie," Heather smirked, her hand curling into a fist, "We'll befriend her and embarrass her when she least expects it, setting the example for the rest of the sheep."
Equal confusion was shared within the group. None of us saw the true purpose of this plan other than humiliating Sadie. All of it felt incredibly mean, incredibly inhuman and definitely cruel. Way too cruel. What had Katie - let alone Sadie - done to deserve this?
"Why are we doing this again?" Lindsay asked, frowning a little as she tilted her head to the side. Only she, someone who let things filter in and out of her head, could dare to ask Heather such a stupid question.
"We're doing this because we need to remind everyone that I have the ultimate power here, right Dakota?" Immediately the pressure, the heat, was placed right under me. Heather, furious beneath the surface, looking at me with the 'Agree or I'll tell' look. And nothing scared me more than everyone knowing my secret. Nothing made me freeze, made me forget everything I stood for, like Heather and that stare.
"Yes Heather," I nod, sending the best and most assuring smile I could to Lindsay. In that moment it was all I could do. In that moment, trying to save my own skin, it was all I could think to do. Pleasing Heather was the only way to stay safe; becoming Heather's mouthpiece was the only way to avoid being burned by the true fire. Staying in the pot - although boiling and burning - was better than being roasted alive.
As if on cue, Katie and Sadie arrived - a jumble of bubbly pop music and girlish giggles as they pulled up in a rather old-looking mazda. When they emerged from the car, Sadie seemed to be the epitome of an excited kid. Katie, her complete opposite, looked like a nervous wreck. Immediately they came up to the main group, still surrounding Heather's flashy convertible, and blended into the new conversation centered around what we'd do today.
All too soon we were heading toward the mall, a great glass building that boasted flashy advertisements and distractions. If there was any place in this crummy town that was great fun, then it was the mall. Everything was built around this place: attractions, businesses and newly built homes alike. Every inch of the local economy relied on this place, gleaming in the early autumn sun like a diamond in the rough.
Plus, other kids from surrounding smaller places often came here. Heather, always eager to stake a position of authority over anyone her age, often came here just to make it clear who ran this entire town - or rather its few selection of schools. Then she'd drag me into it, because I was always dragged into her messes. There was no way for me to escape.
For the next few hours we all wandered about the building, first inspecting and combing through clothing stores before filtering down to perfume places or one stand that did really cute and colourful knockoffs (although I kept that purchase secret from Heather). By midday we'd all regrouped at the central food court, Katie and Sadie appearing to have been spoiled by Heather and her oddly generous spending. Never a good sign.
"So where are we eating today?" Heather kicked off the conversation, a dangerous gleam within her flint-grey eyes. "I heard that there's a new place that opened up. Apparently they deep fry everything."
"I mean, I usually go for a salad," Courtney responded, seeming disgusted at just the mention of deep-fried anything. I don't think I've ever seen that girl eat anything but healthy, nutritious foods.
"Yeah but that place is apparently really good," Lindsay responded, excitement clouding her judgement as she turned to Heather. "You're talking about The Fry, right? Someone was supposed to meet me there last week but I totally forgot."
"I'm down for it if you are?" Katie turned to Sadie who gave a short yet certain nod.
Then all eyes turned to me - the only one who hadn't voiced their opinion. Not that it would truly matter, though. There wasn't a real debate to it. No, Heather just wanted it to seem like we had the choice in where we went to eat. In reality, she had chosen that place on purpose and I knew she had before we'd even seen the place. There always was a second motive with Heather; there was always another scheme brewing, something deadly and dangerous, behind her generous facade and wide, welcoming smile.
"Yeah, sounds good," I forced myself to give an assuring grin, burying down the dread growing in my gut. "My followers on InstaChat were dying to see my try it anyways."
That sealed the deal. Leading the way, head held high, Heather forced us - well, blindly forced the others - toward her intended destination. As soon as we got there, all the pieces clicked. Greasy fried food, a menu with nothing healthy on it, a crowd of people to watch it all unfold: Heather was going to weaken the bond between Katie and Sadie today. Right in front of a big, flourishing crowd.
As if sensing my own apprehension, Katie herself grew uneasy. So uneasy, in fact, that she grabbed Sadie by the arm, yanking her aside as she quickly requested to have a private chat with her friend from Heather.
"Sure," All too easily Heather nodded, her smile warm and accommodating but not reaching her eyes. No, they flashed with malice, cruel and cold. Once Katie and Sadie were out of earshot, she smirked, nudging me, "It's only a matter of time."
Beside me Courtney snickered - out of fear or out of actual amusement I didn't know - and Lindsay soon followed, like sheep in a flock. Different, feeling the guilt clogging up my system, I only looked on helplessly, my heart going out to the duo. Beside me, my hand balled into a loose fist. Why was I so helpless? Why was I unable to gather to strength to warn them? Was I that scared of being exposed, that terrified of being made fun of?
None of us needed to be there to know that Heather was right. Within a few seconds we could hear them bickering.
"You're only being paranoid because you're jealous, Katie," Sadie huffed, folding her arms across her chest as she glared at her best friend. "You're scared that Heather's going to replace you as my top BFF."
"Like I would be jealous of her," Katie scoffed, shaking her own head. One hand rested on her hip, while she tapped one of her feet against the solid stone ground. "I'm trying to help you here, Sadie!"
"No you're not," Sadie accused, drawing more attention as her voice became sharp and twisted. Now she was making a scene, her hands in the air as tears poured from her eyes, reddening her complexion as she sniffed, "You're just trying to put me down because you're scared of losing me. Just like you did back in junior high!"
"Sadie..." Katie reached out to comfort her, but it was too late. Sadie slapped away her hand and there was a gasp from Katie, her eyes wide and brimming with hurt. Powerful hurt. Suddenly, her concern morphed into anger, frustration, and she stepped away from her friend, "You know what? Fine. Don't believe me! I'm going."
Not bothering to return to the group, only sending a withering glare to Heather, Katie stomped away, her wedges echoing sharply against the stone ground. In her wake was Sadie, tearful and trembling, her hands shaking the bags within her grasp, as she sniffed. None of them had truly meant what they said - at least I hope they didn't. Either way, they'd fallen right into Heather's trap. They were right where Heather wanted them to be.
"Time to play the supportive friend," Heather sang, turning away from the scene to focus on the queue we'd joined. "Smile girls."
Automatically, my lips fixed into a simple grin. There was no use in fighting it - not now. I was in too deep to stop following her commands. I was gone too far to be someone else. But, as Sadie joined us, ready to blub out her heartaches and paint Katie as the villain, the one who was jealous and callous and cruel, I couldn't keep it up. Something within me wobbled, cracked open like an egg hitting the floor.
"I'll see you guys later," My heart acted before my brain could. Leaving behind the group of girls, I left the queue and ran after Katie. This time I wasn't going to be Heather pawn.
