Chapter CIX: Lifetimes

Timaeus was both amazed and bewildered by the way Yami peered at Aki. The expression on his face was mild, but his eyes were sparkling with something like excitement and surprise. He wondered what there was to even be so interested in. She was prickly and contemptuous for the most part, vicious enough at times Timaeus had joked with his hatchlings that she had rabies. He'd never had a true altercation with her, thankfully, but he knew from rumors she fought hard and fast and killed with accuracy. If she aimed for the throat, she seized upon it almost immediately. If she aimed to eviscerate, it took only moments.

"All of this…for Yusei? Is he worth it?" Yami asked curiously, narrowing his eyes when she bristled. "It's not a reprimand, Aki. It's a question. Is he really worth this? I don't know I can ever undo this should it take."

Her eyes flickered to him abruptly, as if she were measuring against him what it was she wanted. Timaeus couldn't help but wonder what she was so intent upon, especially if Yami was so insistent about warning her like this.

Her eyes shot back to Yami. "I'll have to wait and see if he's worth it. That's yet to be determined, but I've never wanted a nest. This just ensures I don't get one."

Timaeus blinked and bristled, head snapping toward Yami. She was asking him to make her barren?

The Divine didn't answer him, nor did he take his eyes off Aki for the moment. After a heartbeat he flicked his tail and glanced over his shoulder in the direction his parents had gone. His curious expression turned abruptly sour as he sighed and faced her again.

"I faked my own death to keep Atem following me when I had to leave them. I'm sure they would have wished for the ability to have more than just me had they the chance. This is almost disgusting in light of that," he muttered, voice taking on a brief distracted tone before he sighed softly once more. Aki was staring at him defiantly and Timaeus felt his insides twist with unease. "But, as I said, I'll try to do this for you."

She flicked her tail. "What do I have to do?"

Yami snorted. "Hold still and I guess tell me later if you feel any different."

Aki blinked, puzzled, and then snorted, "You're a strange little hatchling, aren't you? You don't require anything else of me?"

"Not unless you think you need something else." Yami smiled, tilting his head. "I'm actually pretty good at the healing thing now. You shouldn't even be tired at the end of it and I don't even require you sitting down to do it. Just stay relaxed and don't worry about it."

She tilted her head. "I would have expected more. Jaden usually requires more when he heals someone."

Yami was quiet for a long moment. "We don't have the same ability," he muttered, turning away for a split second. Timaeus met his eyes for that single moment before the Divine turned away. "I don't think he could quite manage to replace an eye or even remove fertility, but I suppose we'll see if the latter is within my capabilities as well, won't we?"

Timaeus considered him curiously. He'd never quite known Yami not to be able to do what he set his mind to. He could imagine it would be simple enough with his scope of abilities as it was. Yami glanced at him sideways and grinned slightly, entire face lighting up for a split second before he turned back.

"Yugi sure likes to bite before he asks questions, huh?"

"You came too close to Atem without warning. He's a little overprotective," Yami snickered. He stepped forward and Aki peered at him in surprise for a single second. "Not that he doesn't deserve it, after everything, but it can be somewhat off-putting, I'm sure. But you should have known better. You can't rush for Atem like that and not expect repercussions, just as Atem couldn't fly into your camp at top speed and not expect to be attacked by at least one dragon."

Aki grunted. "That's true," she muttered. Her eyes flickered briefly past Yami and toward the trees Yugi and Atem had disappeared in. "I would have assumed he'd do more damage."

"He likes you. He didn't go for the throat."

Timaeus burst out laughing and turned away when Aki shot him a dirty look and Yami snickered. "That's true," he chuckled. "He has to like you or else he would have gone for the throat."

Aki huffed. "Well?"

Yami lost his smirk and padded closer still, then reached out to place his chin on her head. Timaeus bristled, worried suddenly and distinctly about the way he'd just exposed his own jugular in that moment. If she just moved forward, she'd be able to sink her teeth into his vein…

Yami gave him a sideways look, smiling, and Timaeus watched his eyes glow for a split second. It faded instantly after as he pulled away and stepped back. Aki looked at him as if she couldn't understand what had happened, and Timaeus realized she likely hadn't felt the wound close. He wondered suddenly if anyone else ever had. He'd never asked Yugi or Atem about it before…

He remembered Yami saying usually they got tired during the healing process once. But that didn't seem to be the case anymore, if what he'd just said was any indication. So did that mean he'd gotten that much stronger?

He wondered then if Yami would have been able to heal his eye without sharing his heart had he tried now…

Yami glanced at him sideways, as if he were waiting for something, but didn't speak. Timaeus almost wanted to ask if he was listening and what his opinion would be, but the words failed him, and Yami did not answer. The longer they looked at each other, the more sure he was that Yami didn't know but also likely doubted it.

Timaeus wanted for a moment to speak, but couldn't find the words. It didn't matter, however, did it? He'd be dead if Yami hadn't chosen to share his heart with him. He'd be dead, regardless of whether he had one eye or two. It didn't matter. The idea was so superficial he didn't know why he even considered it more than a moment.

He looked away.

"Akiza," Yami said abruptly, turning back to the female. She blinked and lifted her head and Timaeus bristled faintly as he looked between them. She seemed almost shocked, and Timaeus wondered at the emotion. "Ah, I see. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

Timaeus flicked his tail and tilted his head. "Yami?"

"Yusei is the only one who calls me Akiza," she explained in a sharp voice. She looked as if Yami had physically scooped her heart out and planned to dig his claws through her flesh. "He used to use it as a pet name when he realized my name isn't just Aki."

Yami looked sideways toward Timaeus. "I called him Tie for a couple of moons when I was younger," he commented, turning back to her with a small grin. "I figure I'll share since I was intrusive. I'm sorry…again, for that, Aki. Your name is beautiful, so I wanted to say it."

She blinked and narrowed her eyes and Timaeus shifted his weight awkwardly. She looked as if she wanted to snap at him, but the words wouldn't come. Timaeus shivered as they faced each other, but the Divine abruptly looked away and turned to him again.

"I need to speak with Atem and Yugi," he announced, flicking his tail. "There's something they need to know that I learned…"

There was something cold that flickered briefly across his face, but Timaeus couldn't analyze the expression properly beyond the chill that seemed to encompass him. Yami studied him for a long moment, searching his face as if he expected to find something, and Timaeus swore he saw something raw and aching before he turned and began to pick his way toward the trees in search of his parents.

He watched him go, for a split second thinking to follow, but the impulse died. He wasn't invited. Yami had made that clear in saying he needed to speak to them like that. It hurt, but the wound was skin deep and lasted only a moment. He turned back to Aki as the female watched him disappear.

Her eyes flickered to his. "He must love you a lot."

Timaeus blinked and bristled faintly. "What?"

"Not only did he give you his heart, but he also offered up your nickname to match what Yusei called me," she commented, voice biting with bitterness. She huffed a breath, glancing towards the trees again. "That means a lot to him if he bothered to say it with that context."

Timaeus frowned slightly and glanced toward the trees as well. Was Yami still in love with him? He still remembered telling him they'd discuss it later, when he was older and had more of a grasp on his life and an idea of what he wanted. Of course that had been before either of them had truly considered the repercussions of what might come about when the rest of the world got a chance to recognize him.

It was before they'd considered the millions of problems that might have come about from just his existence.

Timaeus almost wondered why they had thought something could be so easy. He almost wondered why for even a moment they'd assumed there would be a chance.

Between Jaden, the other two deities, the looming threat of war, the second eclipse Ironheart had prophesied, and the idea of other dragons looking to sink their teeth into him, Timaeus had to wonder. How could he have even been so naïve? Had it really been only two years ago? Had they really been even slightly hopeful in such a short time span before?

Timaeus tilted his head and wondered. Would they have even gotten that far? It seemed almost impossible to think they could have. Yami would have likely outgrown his feelings for him had he had the time.

But…had he truly still harbored feelings even in the time they'd been apart?

He didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Yami had so much to look forward to in the future—if they all could stay alive that long between the four of them—and yet he still thought to tie himself to Timaeus?

Why him?

He couldn't imagine the appeal. Yami could have anyone he wanted. His fathers were wrapped around his paws. He had the personality capable of befriending and enchanting almost anyone he sought to. He could easily find and pick a mate of any kind…

"You seem almost surprised."

Timaeus glanced at her sideways and shook his head. "No. He told me a long time ago. I just…" He paused. "How does a two year span feel like a lifetime?"

Aki was silent for a long time. "Absence from those you love makes your perception of time longer," she hissed softly, shaking her head. "It's been three hundred years since Yusei and I were forced apart, and yet…here I am, still as miserable as the day the wound was first opened. I still mourn him every day for no reason other than the fact I was stupid enough to fall in love with him."

Timaeus blinked.

"It feels like so much longer." She bristled faintly. "It feels a thousand times longer than that."

He shivered. He remembered when he and Atem had first parted. The Sky Dragon had nuzzled him once, then turned and flown off without a second glance. The pain had been excruciating and terrible, and his hearts had squeezed so tightly he'd thought he'd die. When they had both settled into their lives—Timaeus with a nest, Atem accepting and defeating suitors—Timaeus had counted much of the time according to the moons he could visit the Sky Dragon. He marked the days by lunar cycles, the years by heat cycles, and the moons by their bold faces.

Visiting Atem had been his favorite thing to do, even after he'd taken his eye…

He blinked and turned away. "I would never have imagined you and Yusei might have been mated prior. It was only ever mentioned that he and Jaden had been mates."

"We never officially mounted," Aki answered brusquely, almost snarling. "He had drifted from the north to see around the territories nearby and mine being northeast, he came here. We met during a patrol when we all separated for a hunt. He was wandering about, sniffing and preparing to leap at a rabbit, and I launched myself at him."

Timaeus snickered. Of course she'd be brave enough to do that. Of course she'd be driven to.

Aki smirked, tilting her head. "He turned around just before we made contact. He was laughing when we went rolling around and I bit him in the muzzle to make him stop, but he was delighted." Her eyes sparkled, then darkened. "He pinned me pretty quickly, sat on me when I tried to attack him again, and started asking questions. He knew a lot more than he let on, including about me, and I freaked out until he explained himself. Being a God Dragon with the ability to see into the future is something I would never have guessed of him until he began talking."

He glanced briefly toward the trees again. It had been odd. The moment he'd seen Atem, he'd known. It hadn't been the second mouth or the tusks or the way he held himself—he'd been injured and fallen over his own paws while trying to rob him of his food—but Timaeus had just known. Maybe it had been the defiance with which he'd reared up and hissed at him, or the way he bore his teeth and flexed his claws and glared even as Timaeus told him to eat from the other side while he dug into his food again. Maybe it had been the way he had been there a moon prior and may have been starving and dirty and bitter, side rotting and entire body drooping. Atem had snarled as if the sky would crack and splinter around him, eyes burning into his, his entire body posed to strike out despite his exhaustion.

Timaeus had thought, for some odd, inexplicable reason, that Atem had to be a deity. It made no sense to him then, and even thinking back on it he'd never quite grasped why the thought had flickered through his head like that. Atem didn't even remember bristling and snapping at him when he'd gotten too close; sometimes he even said he thought he'd laid down and waited for Timaeus to finish him off. It was something Timaeus had never quite considered more than once, because Atem was so insistent he didn't recall it. But Timaeus had witnessed it.

His gem had turned brilliant white, like snow touched by sunlight, and his entire body had tensed. He'd bared his teeth, bristled, lashed his tail, braced his claws, arched his spine, and snarled.

Timaeus still thought of thunder roaring overhead and heavy winds whenever he recalled their first meeting. He'd seen him when he'd followed and shadowed him more than once, when Atem had been so determined to hide and steal scraps, but the first time they'd ever spoken he'd seemed ready to rip his throat out despite everything.

Maybe…Atem had just seemed powerful enough it made him think so. Or maybe he'd just been that strong that somehow it rattled him and made Timaeus stop short and think Atem a deity.

He didn't know but he supposed it didn't matter either.

"He was super interested in me for some reason. He was considerably overly friendly at times and thought I was adorable when I glared and bristled and threatened to eviscerate him." Aki sighed, the sound full of painful longing. "We spoke until the patrol came to find me and then they took him back to the camp to meet the leader. He wasn't too impressed with the new God Dragon of the North, but he humored Yusei as they chatted. Even Yusei knew he wasn't happy with him, but he didn't seem to care much. It didn't really matter, I guess, but Yusei continued to visit me later. We would meet up at night after the others were asleep and sometimes we'd just snuggle. I…I tried to get him to mount me more than once, but he'd outright refused."

Timaeus couldn't imagine. She seemed so tired and sad, yet happy all the same. He supposed it had to be nice to finally recall something so fond after what was likely years of shunning it.

"He said…he was worried if he had offspring everything would fall apart," she admitted quietly, tilting her head and growling softly. "He said he was worried about what Shadi and Ironheart had told him, and what he had seen in his dreams. He said the balance relied on him foregoing offspring and… Well, he claimed then he loved me too much to take on a different mate, but we all know how that went."

Timaeus blinked, considering, and glanced toward the trees once more. He wondered for a split second what would have happened had Yami chosen to pursue a female. If he had offspring, what would that mean for them? The four of them were already struggling with Dimitri—or, rather, the other three were. Atem had yet to sharpen his claws on the little bastard.

But Yami seemed…almost all-powerful.

He could walk dreams, hear thoughts, feel emotions, alter physical aspects in others, see further than his eyes, expand his abilities to see beyond the reach of his own paws, he saw visions…

The only thing he seemed incapable of was shape-shifting.

Then he wondered abruptly what Atem was capable of.

What did the God Dragon possess that made even Yami feel overpowered?

Timaeus tilted his head as he looked at Aki. She wasn't paying him any mind, lost in her own thoughts and memories. Her eyes had glazed over with sorrow but a steady warmth and affection as well. He wondered if she'd always be so fond about Yusei despite the various pains he'd inflicted.

He wondered if he'd have felt the same way in her place, had something similar happened.

Although then he wondered. Hadn't it? Yami had pretended to be dead, hiding away from both his parents and Timaeus. He'd only reappeared now to see his parents rather than Timaeus, and he didn't know what he should think of the matter. Forgiveness seemed hard even though he knew he'd already offered it.

Yami was alive, so it didn't matter he'd played dead. Yet somehow it still hurt and some small part of him found it irreconcilable.

He wondered if he would always feel like this, or if maybe it would fade with time.

Did they even have time?

Timaeus had to wonder. Jaden was aware Yami was alive. Leviathan and Yusei seemed to have no sway over him and any actions he took. At the end of the day, would they even have time to make up for the trust that had been broken? Timaeus wondered if that was too much to ask for, or whether he should simply force himself to forgive him now.

If Yami died, he would go with him.

Did he really want to face death angry that Yami had lied to him and hidden away and come back only when it was absolutely necessary?

He'd said he'd missed him, and he'd seemed so genuine about it. So why should he remain so angry about it? Yami had seemed so warm toward him, affectionate, though guarded. Timaeus had to guess that it was more because he was scared than anything; both Yugi and Atem tended to do that with outsiders. Atem closed himself off, and Yugi snarled and bore his teeth and forced the topic aside to save himself the stress of explanation. The only time either of them opened up was to each other when they had a moment to themselves.

He wondered if Yami was afraid they wouldn't have that time…

Yami forced away Timaeus's thoughts as he took a seat in front of his parents. Yugi looked agitated and annoyed, but offered him a tight smile he was sure was meant to be friendly. Atem was studying his mate in his peripheral, though his eyes remained mostly on Yami. The Uria paused, considering them for a long moment, and then shifted his weight.

"I don't know what exactly Jaden exaggerated or what in his mind was the most true as to the events of what happened with Sartorius," he muttered, focusing on Atem solely for a split second. The God Dragon was still eyeing Yugi almost suspiciously from the corner of his eye, but he settled after a moment when the Gandora utterly refused to look over. "There's a lot that was exaggerated and there was a lot that Sartorius…altered when he attacked Yubel in front of Jaden. He…changed her memories and those are what Jaden knows as truth from when he healed her."

Atem tilted his head. "He implanted memories?"

"Yes." Yami fell silent for a moment, then shifted his weight again. Yugi narrowed his eyes, focused on him somehow even more keenly than before. "And from what I can tell, Jaden only ever saw those. Which, if I understand with my limited knowledge of what he thinks happened, pointed him in the direction of slaughtering four species."

Yugi bristled. "Gandora, Slifer, Uria, and Felgrand."

"He couldn't get away with an edict declared on the Urias because of the lore that they are the first species to come from the fire that made the world. So he used the Slifer edict as a way to decimate the numbers until they were so limited that likely…" He fell silent for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't know for sure, but I think you may have killed the last pure-blooded Uria, Father."

Atem lashed his tail. "That was his own doing."

"I agree. What happened was his own making." Yami nodded slightly. "But I think…Sartorius set Jaden off on the four species to ensure that when his son was born, the third generation Divine would be fine later. I don't think he understood the Felgrand he'd seen in his visions was Seto. Nor did he understand that you and Yugi and I were all related. He just thought the four of us were threats and so he sought to see them destroyed before they could become one."

Yugi blinked and raised his head. "Sartorius…could see Atem?"

Yami exhaled slowly. "Yes…and me. And you."

"How?" Yugi blurted, bristling as he sprang to his paws with a snarl. "How could he see Atem? You can't see Atem. The others can't see Atem. Dimitri can't see him—can he?"

"No. He can't." Yami lashed his tail. "Noah could. Noah could see me, you, and Atem. But he didn't use it regularly—likely because he saw what Dimitri would do to him. His gift was a lot stronger than I would have thought possible. But he never nurtured it, so Dimitri can't harness it as he wants. He's still blind in certain areas, especially involving the three of us."

"If his abilities were so great, was Noah Keith's as well?" Atem asked abruptly. "Seto has no power. I have no power to see into time. Despite Yusei's claims prior that Seto likely passed the gene on through me because of the impossibility I allowed their births, that's not…my fault, is it?"

Yami blinked. "Your fault?" he muttered. "Your only fault is that you survived to this point. There is no blame to be laid on you."

"Then he was Keith's as well?"

"Yes. Noah and Dimitri were both an equal mix of Keith, Seto, and Kisara. The only difference was that Noah loved his siblings, and Dimitri was jealous of the attention Mokuba was given. He…takes more after Bakura than anything, which is…horrifying, to say the least." Yami paused. "He takes more of Bakura's personality in that he doesn't care how much blood is spilled, how much pain is inflicted, or how much his siblings suffered."

Atem blinked and shook his head slightly, looking over at Yugi sideways again. He tapped him with his tail tip and Yugi turned to him, puzzled, and obediently sat down when the Slifer gestured he retake his seat. The God Dragon smiled at him faintly, and Yugi's eyes lit like stars, and then he turned back to Yami with a colder expression. "Keith was Sartorius and Yubel's, yes?" he asked in a lower voice. "That's why he was so much stronger than he should have been—why he could breed with so many different species?"

Yami nodded and looked away. "Yes."

"That's disgusting," Yugi blurted, on his paws once more. Yami laughed when Atem let out a long-suffering sigh and reached over to press on the Gandora's hindquarters. Yugi looked over as if he might argue, then abruptly licked his face and plopped down. Yami smirked as Atem tilted and shook his head. "I can believe it because he was a monster and so was Keith, but I can't… Yubel suffered a lot, just because of Jaden."

"No, her suffering began before she even met him. Her mother died laying her egg, her siblings rotted, her father abandoned her at the camp to die alone and her foster father treated her as an inconvenience. The Clan treated her as an outsider and she was abused by the other females—especially those she grew up among. She was barren for a long time, until she and Jaden mated. And that was when she was already embittered and furious and hated everyone from the Clan as well as most of the things in her life."

Yugi blinked, then shifted his weight. He glanced at Atem sideways and the God Dragon looked over in confusion after a long moment. They swapped looks and Yami could see it then—Yugi had always feared before he'd gotten to challenge him that Atem would be forced into a similar life. He'd been scared Atem would be tied to someone, forced to perform atrocities unnamable, and he'd come to hate himself and everything about his life. He'd known him as the little Sky Dragon who had caught fish by their tails and released them when they didn't flail as hard, when he knew they were more likely to die if he didn't. He'd seen him when he loved his life, then when he'd become miserable and uncertain before he'd fled.

His biggest fear growing up in that desert, with his parents or Jonouchi, had been that Atem would be too removed to even care to fight for his life or a mate any longer. He'd been afraid he would let someone win, that he would lose his willpower and fade until he was meant for nothing more than laying clutches or used as a weapon for territory skirmishes.

Atem seemed to recognize the look on Yugi's face, because he licked his forehead before he turned back. "Jaden loved her," he said slowly, "and she was a lost cause by the time they mated, yes?"

"Yes."

"How did you know that?" Yugi asked, narrowing his eyes. "Is that something else you've been sitting on?"

Atem shook his head. "No. I just…" He went quiet for a long moment. "I told you before that I didn't know that I could ever come to love you. I told you out of courtesy, because I was so closed off and I didn't think you deserved to think yourself a failure should I be unable. And I always wondered. I always waited for you to finally believe me and leave. I always waited for you to grow tired and bored of waiting or fighting me on the matter. I thought every other day you would have grown out of it and decided it wasn't worth it. If I could do that for moons, it isn't a stretch to think that Yubel felt similarly."

"I don't understand," Yugi huffed, and for a moment Yami thought he might argue and huff at Atem for not believing him the many times he'd said he loved him. But the Gandora had turned to him again, lashing his tail. "Why did she even pretend she wanted to be mated to him if she felt like that?"

"Because someone was showing her attention," Atem answered, and Yami winced when Yugi turned to stare at him in surprise. The God Dragon flicked his tail and shook his head. "It wasn't the same for me, if that's what you're so worried about. I had Timaeus. Yubel had no one. Jaden likely didn't spend much time with her, nor can I imagine he helped raise the nest. So, when he was there and he was so insistent, she was drawn to it. She was drawn to something she'd never been offered before."

Yugi looked at him for a long moment, then shifted to stand and pace. He growled softly when Atem attempted to get him to sit again, though after a moment he obeyed. When he turned back, his eyes had grown curious and wide. "When did you even begin to believe me?"

Atem was silent for a long time, then tilted his head. For a while Yami almost thought he wouldn't respond, and then he murmured, "I suspected you might have been serious when you offered to let me mount you, because that should have been against your species. But I knew when you charged Keith to slow him down. I didn't like believing it, so I convinced myself more than once that you probably just thought you loved me. I didn't think it was fair that I might never be able to love you back, or show you the affection you deserved, so I…told myself otherwise. I think I let myself believe it when you said even if Yami's egg didn't hatch you'd still love me."

Yami blinked and shifted his weight, unnerved. That was when Atem had truly believed it? For some reason he'd believed it had been sooner, and the admission now made his scales almost itch. He considered the startled look on Yugi's face—likely an exact reflection of his own—as the Gandora processed the words.

"Well…you're a stupid head for not believing me sooner," he said abruptly, turning away. He was grinning when Atem snorted in surprise. Yami smiled and shook his head, relieved. At least that much hadn't changed in the last two years. Even if it had felt a lifetime, Yugi still took little personally where Atem's doubts or frustrations were concerned. "But, explain it to me then, because Atem seems to understand this situation a lot better than I do. I… Somehow none of this really…makes sense to me the way it does him."

Yami nodded and opened his mouth, but Yugi interrupted with a small shake of his head.

"I don't care so much about Yubel and Jaden," he murmured, voice lowered with growing frustration. "What I care about is why Sartorius changed her memories. If he did that to alter what Jaden saw and to go after those four species… What was his reasoning exactly? Why go after the Gandora species like that?"

Yami found his breath tightening for a long moment as he struggled to think of something to say. After a long time he flicked his tail, shuffled his weight, and flexed his claws. He glanced briefly at Atem and then turned back to Yugi.

"Because… Sartorius was convinced you were a deity."