"This is ridiculous."

Naruto stirred, baffled, and wiped his cheeks. "What," he mumbled.

Sasuke scoffed and sat next to him on the floor, leaning his head against the wall. "This. You." He waved his hand. "This paper. He wrote something nice. Why are you upset."

Naruto glared at the words he had read so many times, they etched themselves into his mind. "Cause it's a lie," he rasped. "I think. I dunno. I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore."

"The money's real," Sasuke pointed out. "You nearly turned down fifty thousand dollars."

Naruto scoffed. "S'not what I meant," he muttered. "I can't tell," he clenched the paper, denting it, "if the words are real or not. I can't – he never told me the truth once, and I believed him every single time."

Sasuke said nothing for a long time. Eventually, he shrugged. "Talk to someone who knows him," he blurted. He continued when Naruto's eyes finally looked up from the paper. "It only makes sense, right? You have known him for less than a year. Maybe someone who knew him all his life could explain... well, him."

Naruto swallowed. "How do I… how do I find someone like that?" he asked, perhaps too earnestly.

Sasuke did not comment on his tone. "Ask Sakura. She and Ino are excellent at stalking."

Naruto grimaced, discomfited – "Or you could ask Haruno."

The man's soft, teasing voice danced through his mind, taking him back to a simpler time, to a moment of ease and comfort that now felt like a dream. He let Naruto drive his car and told him stories about his parents. He bought him ramen – the best he ever had – and introduced him to –

Jiraiya. Naruto jumped up, ignoring Sasuke, and ran to his bedroom. He retrieved his beaten metal box from underneath the bed and took out a single picture – that of his parents winning a medal – and flipped it over.

The number was still there and still legible.

He ran back. "Sasuke! Can I borrow your phone?"

The teen did not ask questions. He handed him his phone, and Naruto ran back to his bedroom and closed the door. Just to be safe. He did not want the man to know.

He typed in the number and, heart hammering, pressed the call button.

It rang once, twice, and –

"Hmm. I started to think you forgot about me," answered a loud voice, rough around the edges yet surprisingly warm.

Naruto blinked, confused. "Um," he managed. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Had a hunch," the man replied. "Is that your number?"

"N-no. It's my friend's," Naruto sat on the bed, confused by the man's calm, informal tone. "I don't have a phone."

"Y-you don't have a phone?" the old man spluttered. "Ah, no! We must fix that! You can't survive in today's world without one! What the hell is Kakashi thinking?! Put him on. I want to yell at him."

Naruto's breath shuddered. He took a moment to calm himself. "He's… we're not talking," he confessed.

"No?" the man asked, unsurprised. "How come?"

"Had a… had a fight," Naruto mumbled. It was suddenly hard to breathe. "Can we talk?"

"About Kakashi," Jiraiya said slowly. "I see."

Naruto blinked, then bristled. "See what," he snarled.

"Oh, nothing! Nothing! How about we get some ramen, hmm? My treat. I'll pick you up." The man's voice held a cheery quality Naruto could have sworn was fake. "I'm not letting you drive, though."

Naruto scowled. "I got my license," he objected.

"And I got a reputation to maintain. I'm a silver fox, you see."

"Maybe a silver toad," Naruto bit back.

Jiraiya laughed. The booming sound caused Naruto to jump. "You have some spunk left in you. Very good. Text me the address and prepare yourself for the ride of your life!"

Naruto hung up in defiance. Still, he texted him the address, returned to the living room, and handed Sasuke his phone back.

"Who'd you call," he asked, glaring at the unsaved number.

"My godfather," Naruto replied. "I met him through… him."

Sasuke nodded and put his phone in his pocket. "Better make up your mind soon," he warned. "Before he skips town."

His friends left, and Naruto waited, leaning against the wall that separated his apartment from the man who was his sensei.

A part of him wondered if the man already left, and he wasted his time pining over someone who wasn't even there. "I promised I'd always be one phone call away. I – "

A honk of a car tore through his thoughts.

He took his keys and walked out, glaring at the absolute disaster of a car that waited for him below. The expensive vehicle was ruined by an eye-popping paint job that must have cost a fortune. "Get in, godson!" yelled Jiraiya. "It's me, Jiraiya!"

Naruto started to regret his decision. Maybe he really should have asked Sakura.

Still, he locked the door, left the complex, and entered the car.

Jiraiya grinned at him and drove away. He was fast and reckless and seemed to enjoy his recklessness far more than he should have. Naruto remembered yet another fast ride that felt smooth and elegant –

Jiraiya parked his car and grinned again. "Let's celebrate first, hmm? You just finished high school! Practically a man, I'd say!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You need to stay sober," he demanded. "Otherwise, you're wasting my time."

"I need you to focus. If you can't, I am wasting my time."

He growled and kicked a rock. All those flashbacks would end up driving him insane.

Jiraiya blinked. "Well, all right. No need to be this cross." He ruffled his hair. "Let's order first, then. I don't know what about you, but I'm starving." He patted his stomach.

Naruto hmphed and followed, fixing his hair. It was a very long time since someone – anyone – touched it affectionately.

He ordered and sat alone, sullen and displeased, and waited for Jiraiya to stop chatting up Ayame and join him.

"Ah, youth…" the man sighed in contentment and sat across from him. He leaned back against his chair. "You're wasting yours. I can tell." He sighed again, this time in defeat. Suddenly, his eyes looked serious – intelligent and sharp – and Naruto stiffened. "What happened, Naruto? Last time I saw you, you were practically smitten."

Naruto flinched and sat ramrod straight. "Was not!" he objected hotly, ears burning red. "The fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Oh, plenty, I'm sure." Jiraiya smiled and nodded to Teuchi when the man served them their food. "My eyes, however, see just fine. No glasses," he added, tapping the bridge of his nose. "Kakashi was just as glad to be near you, by the way." He broke his chopsticks and ignored – or failed to notice – the storm his words invoked in Naruto's chest. "You used to be family."

"Used to," Naruto snapped. He shoved his chopsticks into his food and stilled himself when he noticed the way Jiraiya's eyes narrowed. "He lied to me," he confessed, his voice stark. "Pretended to be something… something else. He said he tried to help me," he muttered bitterly, "but I don't – I can't believe him, anymore. Not after what he's done."

Jiraiya put down his chopsticks. "Naruto…."

"I need to know," he cut him off, glaring at his hands. "I need to know if he's… if he's a good man or just some fucking liar. I need to know."

Jiraiya slurped thoughtfully. He took his time. "Tell you what. I'll tell you the story of Kakashi's life, and you will decide if he's a good man. You better listen carefully," he added, "because you will never hear it again. Not from me – and definitely not from Kakashi."

Naruto leaned closer and nodded. His heart raced at the notion, and his mouth dried. The offer felt wrong, forbidden – but Sasuke was right. He could not spend the rest of his life uncertain and miserable. He needed to know.

Jiraiya slurped again. "Well, our story begins with a man named Sakumo. Kakashi's father. His mother died at his birth – or very shortly after, I can't remember – and Sakumo raised Kakashi by himself. So naturally, Kakashi was glued to his side. He loved and admired his father more than anyone else in the world. And he had a good reason to – Sakumo was a kind man and a genius physicist. Cleverer than me, that's for certain. A rising professor respected and sought after by universities and companies alike." He chuckled fondly. "Too clever, perhaps. When Kakashi was young, he didn't know how smart he was. He thought everyone was just like him and his dad, and when others were not as quick as he was, he assumed they were talking down to him. That is to say, he was an asshole of a kid. Never meant to be one," he added quickly, "He simply didn't know how different he was. Sakumo didn't do a good job of explaining it, either. He was an academic, and when Kakashi complained school was too slow, he simply got him to graduate high school and start studying where he worked. Still, he loved his son, and Kakashi loved his father."

Naruto ate absentmindedly, his eyes glued to his godfather. Dread settled in his stomach when he realized this story did not have a happy ending.

Jiraiya exhaled. He took a moment to prepare himself. "Well, Sakumo was invited to participate in a major, groundbreaking experiment that the university spent a lot of money on. There was a talk about a Nobel prize and all that kind of nonsense. Sakumo, however, raised the alarm that the experiment wasn't abiding by the ethical guidelines. He wrote an article that made waves – caused the cancellation of the experiment and a terrible loss of money –what was invested as well as donors and future funds – and, obviously, cost Konoha its reputation. It was, in other words, a shitshow."

Naruto coughed. "Was he right, though?" he asked quietly.

Jiraiya huffed. "One of my old classmates ran the experiment, so, yes, he absolutely was. That did not stop everyone in the faculty from hating him. Sakumo became the scapegoat – from the most beloved researcher in Konoha, he became the black sheep, the pariah no one would agree to work with or talk to. He was… excommunicated, basically."

Naruto swallowed with difficulty. "And… did my mom and dad…?"

"Oh, no," Jiraiya managed a watery smile. "No. Your parents stood by him, but your mom was busy getting her master's and your father, his Ph.D. No one knew them or cared about their opinions." Jiraiya's voice quietened. "Sakumo… faded away. I can't imagine what it must have been like for Kakashi to see that. He was… six years old? No, seven. He was seven years old when he found his father's body."

"They killed him?!" Naruto cried. He jolted from his seat and smashed his hands against the table.

Jiraiya frowned at him. "What? No. He killed himself. I thought it was obvious from the way I was telling the story."

"It wasn't!"

"Oh, well." Jiraiya stopped. He finished his tea and waved to Teuchi for a refill. His eyes shone too brightly.

"He had a kid," Naruto mumbled, sitting down slowly. He tangled his fingers in his hair and pulled. "How could he leave his own kid?"

Jiraiya sighed. "I don't know. Don't question the dead, Naruto," he added quietly. "They never provide satisfying answers."

"The dead do not have the habit of answering the living."

Naruto scoffed and ate his ramen, trying to chase away the sudden tightness of his throat. He glared at the worn table, noting the deep scratches and the fading paint, and waited.

The old man took a deep breath and continued. "Well, your father found him. Both of them, I suppose. He picked Kakashi up and took him home, and that was that. Your parents weren't rich, but they rented a different house – one with an extra bedroom – and got him a bed and a desk and anything else they could afford. Your father, especially, showered Kakashi with love, but nothing he or your mother did could get Kakashi to smile. If anything, he became more of a brat, but your parents never gave up on him." He smiled fondly at nothing. "They were very determined, those two."

Naruto swallowed and managed a weak nod.

"That's when your dad realized that the main problem with Kakashi was that he didn't have any friends. I mean, he was practically living in Konoha, surrounded by twenty-something-year-olds. Kid never had a chance to meet someone his age, now did he? So Minato started a program for genius kids and enrolled Kakashi, hoping someone would click with him."

Naruto's breath shuddered. "And someone… did?" he asked in a small voice. He hoped Jiraiya would not say the name –

"Yeah, another brat called Obito. Not as clever, I admit, definitely not a genius, but… you all right, Naruto? You're pale."

Naruto did not trust his voice, so he nodded instead. He raked his fingers through his hair, nails digging into his scalp, and tried to will himself to breathe.

A hand clasped his shoulder. "Oi, kid," Jiraiya said quietly. His eyes sought Naruto's "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Naruto shoved his hand away. His heart beat so fast it felt like the effort would rip it apart. "Surprised he had a friend," he lied.

He felt lightheaded, so he gripped the edge of the table in an attempt to right himself. He's gone, he reminded himself. He's gone he's gone he's gone –

"Drink, kiddo." A hand materialized in front of him, holding a steaming cup of tea, and suddenly he remembered a different hand holding a different cup, then brushing away his hair. He remembered arms holding him close. Safe.

Naruto drank, trying to drown his thoughts with large, uneven gulps. It didn't help at all. His throat tightened, choking him –

Suddenly, he felt a hand's touch, soft and gentle as it brushed his hair, cool and lingering. The touch slowed his rushing, dizzying thoughts and stopped the world from spinning. It erased the mark of that man's grip wherever it touched.

Despite his anger, he felt better.

"Oi, kid, talk to me. What's going on?"

Jirayia's rough voice called Naruto back to reality. He gazed up, surprised when he realized how close Jirayia had gotten while he was trying to breathe. The man kneeled by his side and rubbed his back with his giant hand, his eyes gleaming with worry.

"Are you sure you don't want something stronger?"

Naruto scowled. "I'm fine," he insisted, his voice raw. "Keep going."

Jiraiya hummed, unconvinced. He sat next to him, and though he dropped his hand, Naruto could feel the weight of his eyes on his back, the warmth emanating from his body. "Well, if you are sure – "

"I am," Naruto snapped, then mellowed his tone when Jiraiya's eyes narrowed in response. "See?" He slurped forcefully. "All good."

Jiraiya's expression didn't change, but after Naruto managed three more bites, he finally nodded. "Hmm. Where was I…? Oh, right; Kakashi's first friend." He cleared his throat. "Spent nearly every waking moment fighting, but I guess that's how it worked at that age." He kept scrutinizing him. "One day, Minato called me. Frantic. He said he couldn't find Kakashi or Obito."

Naruto stared at his hands and saw nothing. "How… how old…."

"Nine," Jiraiya replied. His frown deepened. "He told you."

Naruto nodded once, the movement sharp and agitated.

Jiraiya hmmed. "I'm surprised," he said flatly.

"Didn't have a choice."

"Something you should know about Kakashi, Naruto, is that he always has a choice. Even if you don't give him another option, you can trust him to make one. He chose to tell you, and never you doubt that."

"Well, he didn't want to," Naruto objected. His face felt hot.

Jiraiya gave him an odd look. His eyes, just for a moment, grew cold. "And yet, he did," he said quietly.

Naruto flinched. He shook his head. "Why… why would my dad call you?" he asked instead, changing the subject.

Jiraiya leaned back. "Well, I know I don't look it, but I was the head of a special agents unit at the time. Tried to recruit your father – "

"You're lying!"

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. He reached into his pocket, found something, and tossed it at Naruto's face. "Here, you brat. I'm not a liar."

Naruto caught an object that turned out to be a badge. He glowered at it, poking in –

"It's not fake," the man grumbled. "I worked very hard to get it. Show some respect."

Naruto blinked and, after a short moment of hesitation, gave it back. "Can you get me in, too?" he asked.

Jiraiya snorted. "Kakashi will kill me if I tried, and your mother's ghost will haunt me for the rest of the very few days he'd let me live. No, kid. Be thankful I'm still around to teach you math."

Naruto scoffed. He wasn't thankful at all.

Jiraiya smirked, shaking his head at him. "Where was I? Oh, right." His smirk disappeared. "Right." He finished yet another cup of tea. "I swear it gets easier with alcohol," he muttered. "Anyway, I made some calls, found the car. Followed it. Found the hideout. Found… found Kakashi and Obito tied to a bed and screaming. I mean, Obito was screaming. Both were bleeding from their left eye." Jiraiya's breath shuddered. "I have never seen your father so angry in my life. He shot… every single man in the room, I think. Obito was, sadly, finished by his grandfather – the man who orchestrated that weird eye transplant. Minato freed Kakashi and took him to the hospital, and from that point on, he did not leave his side." Jiraiya swallowed with difficulty. "Well, until he died."

"Why, though?" Naruto mumbled. "Why would that-that grandfather do that?" He wiped the corners of his eyes.

Jiraiya sighed. "We did not understand either, at the time. That crazed old man said something about how Obito wasn't worthy. Honestly, we were shocked that the eye he gave Kakashi worked. Within a week, Kakashi could see just as well as before."

Naruto frowned. "But… but he still had his bandages… right?" He thought of Shizune's story. It didn't add up.

"Yes," Jiraiya replied quietly. "It took him a long time to be able to look at his reflection. He said that every time he did, he saw his dead friend looking back. His hair, almost immediately, turned white. Something about the stress of the trauma, I think. I don't think he could have recognized his own reflection, back then." He clenched his jaw and stopped, breathing deeply. "Minato took an early sabbatical so he could take care of him. Naturally, he did not want to be a special agent or do anything that could cause Kakashi to face yet another loss. Got him his first dog at some point. Pako...? Piku?"

"Pakkun?" Naruto suggested. His voice wavered.

"Yes! Is he still alive?" Jiraiya chuckled. "That is one stubborn dog. Taught him lots of tricks, that kid. I had never seen a more patient kid or a better-behaved dog. Kakashi strove for perfection, and that's what he got. And then you were born." A soft smile bloomed on his old face. "Your parents were insanely worried Kakashi might feel neglected or out of place, but… something happened between the two of you. Somehow, you managed to win him over. All the love and hugs Kushina and Minato practically forced on that kid – and nothing. But you? You didn't even speak, and yet, Kakashi refused to leave your side. He insisted on taking care of you at every given moment. And you," Jiraiya smiled, poking Naruto's nose, "were the only one capable of making Kakashi smile."

Naruto blushed. "R-really?"

Jiraiya nodded, winking at him. "Of course! You constantly demanded his attention. Shi, hold my hand! Shi, watch me do this! Shi, watch me do that! Shi, play with me! Shi – "

"I get it," Naruto grumbled. "I was needy."

"You were adorable," Jiraiya countered gently. "We finally dared to hope Kakashi would recover, and – "

"And then my parents died," Naruto interrupted.

Jiraiya's eyes darkened with grief. "We dug a grave, erected three tombstones. Kakashi walked to his room, packed his bag, and asked where he was supposed to go. Never cried even once, that brat," Jiraiya mumbled, his voice thick. "He was alive, but everything he was faded along with your parents. At that moment, he looked like he would have given everything he had to be on that car that day and die alongside them."

Jiraiya took a moment to wipe his eyes.

Naruto's throat tightened dangerously. "But Shizune – Shizune said he was taken in – I mean, taken care of. A woman called Tsunade – " His voice faded away, choked by the tightening of his throat.

Jiraiya sniffed loudly. "Yes, she tried her best. I think Kakashi simply had too much at this point. He did not see anyone, did not talk to anyone. He studied like crazy, got his degree, and then another. I don't know what happened to him then," Jiraiya admitted weakly. "I was a bit of an ass, moved to teach at a different university. I could not go back," he admitted. "Everywhere I went, I saw Minato and Kushina." He sniffed again. "Not the cool godfather you thought I was, eh?"

Naruto scoffed. "Never thought you were cool," he muttered. He wiped his eyes furiously.

Jiraiya half coughed, half chuckled. "Yes, well. I came back six years later. Kakashi was seventeen, handsome like the devil, and as sharp and cold-hearted. Naturally, I took him under my wing. He was the best special agent I ever trained –"

"I knew it!" Naruto jumped from his seat. "I asked him if he was James Bond!"

Jiraiya blinked, then outright laughed. "Oh, boy." He stared at him, then laughed again. "He was better," the old man replied. "Had him on a team with Yamato and Itachi – doesn't matter who they are – and they were brilliant. Then Itachi lost it, and Kakashi… well…." Jiraiya looked at him as if trying to delve into his mind.

"I know," Naruto scoffed, crossing his arms as he sat back down. "About the eye n' stuff."

Jiraiya stared at him some more, then nodded. "He became… impossibly strong," he muttered. "He started swimming competitively as a way to train and met a man named Gai – "

"I know him, too," Naruto muttered.

Jiraiya blinked. "Oh, right. He taught you about cars." He patted his stomach. "And how to punch," he added with a wink.

Naruto scowled, which only caused Jiraiya's smile to widen.

And soften. "Gai saved him. Somehow – I don't know how. Gai somehow… made him human again. He begged Kakashi to quit his life of violence, and Tsunade, when she found out, threatened to rip my head right off, so I let him go." Jiraiya sighed as a wisp of a smile danced upon his face. "One hell of a woman, Tsunade. Naturally, everything he did to protect you was coordinated with us – "

"Every-" Naruto choked, then pointed an accusatory finger at Jiraiya's head. "You knew?! About-about-"

"Yes," Jiraiya replied, lifting a hand. He sighed and gave him a tired smile. "Did you seriously think he just… did what he did without the government knowing? He texted me on the first day of school, saying we had to talk. I was curious, so I called him as soon as I could. Imagine my shock when he told me there was a kid in his class whose name was Naruto, whose last name matched Kushina's, whose face was exactly like Minato's." The old man reached across the table and ruffled his hair. "He was already willing to risk his life to help you, and that was before we were certain that you were the child we lost."

Naruto swallowed harshly. "But how." He gripped the table. The world spun unnaturally fast. "How'd you know for sure I'm-I'm-" he couldn't form the words. Burning tears left angry trails along his cheeks.

"Because we checked." Jiraiya leaned closer, his hand heavy and warm. "I found the original record from the orphanage. You were admitted to a hospital near the site of your parents' accident mere hours before their car was discovered. Whoever found you gave the nurses the wrong last name. Most likely, it was a human error," Jiraiya muttered darkly, old bitterness clouding his eyes. "And my own incompetence."

The old man sighed, slammed down his tea, and winced as if he forgot the drink wasn't alcoholic. "Where was I? Right. Kakashi quit, returned to Konoha, got his Ph.D. He followed in the footsteps of his father and yours. I don't think he knew any other path. Then, one day, he decided, God knows why, to become a schoolteacher. And found you."

He smiled at him, but Naruto crossed his arms and stubbornly looked away. His heart beat painfully against his ribcage.

Jiraiya threw his hands up and sighed. "Well, there you have it. The sad tale of Kakashi Hatake. Every chapter of his life is marred by loss and grief; still, he tries to be good. To do the right thing. He tried to help you in every way he could. He got me – and Tsunade – to bend the rules of Konoha for you. He returned to the agency – for you. He risked his life – on more than one occasion, without an ounce of hesitation – for you. He told you his most painful memory – simply because you asked. He shared with you his secret." Jiraiya shook his head and looked down.

"And you ask me if he is a good man."


Notes:


So… a bit of an expositional dump! Kakashi knows Naruto's story (more or less), so I figured Naruto deserves to know his.

I did have another subplot planned where he asked Sakura – and met Tsunade instead, but idk if I'll bring it in. Also, I figured it would be more fun for Naruto to meet Tsunade… later in the story, in vastly different circumstances.

BTW I'm sorry I didn't publish last week! I enrolled into a coding competition with a few of my friends but weren't told if we got in or not until the day before the competition began (to prevent people from preparing beforehand). We didn't win, but it was fun, yet grueling 36 hours of coding, planning, and consuming unhealthy amounts of coffee.

And err… well, let just say that the next chapter will be more uplifting.

Anyways, what did you guys think? I dropped some hints about Kakashi's past in the previous chapters, was this what you guys had expected? Please let me know! Your comments make my day.

That's it! See ya next Friday!