Kakashi woke up with a start.

He slept on the couch with his dogs since sleeping in the bed alone felt too strange. The canines were quick to jump on him and lick his face, whining and barking, but all Kakashi could think about was his own stupidity.

What the hell did he agree to yesterday.

Naruto… he lifted his hand, sniffing his palm; he could still smell Naruto's hair, feel its softness between his fingertips. It wasn't a dream, then. The unpredictable teen once again threw his life off course, demanding his closeness as intently as he tried to push him away the day before.

Fuck. His body tinged with the sensation of Naruto's fingers dancing along his skin, tangling in his hair, doing their best to drive him mad. His mind shivered with the memory of Naruto's eyes, mischievous and desperate, tender and demanding, as beautiful and bewitching as the day they first met, the day the teen decided to put his faith in a wolf, to hug instead of flee…

He groaned and raked his hand through his hair. He had to break up with Naruto. He had to explain to him – really, this time – why this was a bad idea. Why he was a bad choice. Why –

A hand knocked on his door.

Kakashi's lungs collapsed as he got up and slowly made his way to the door. He took a deep breath, preparing himself, and opened the door…

And everything he wanted to say died on his lips when he was greeted with the sight of Naruto, grinning at him from ear to ear, his eyes shining and bright. "Morning! Did I wake you?" He hugged his waist and sniffed him. "You smell like dogs."

Kakashi huffed. His hand moved to tousle the teen's golden hair. "Can't be helped."

Naruto just hugged him tighter, so Kakashi coughed. "Hot chocolate?" he offered, discomfited.

The teen looked up and grinned. "Yeah!" He grabbed Kakashi's hand instead.

Kakashi blinked, unsure what to do, and led the teen inside. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen, self-conscious now that Naruto trailed behind him.

He reached for the fridge, but the teen refused to let him go.

"Naruto," he muttered, "I need my hand."

"Oh, right."

Naruto released him, embarrassed, and Kakashi sighed and ruffled his hair again. He put some distance between them as he made hot chocolate for the teen and coffee for himself. "How'd you sleep?" he asked, mainly because that was safe.

"Good. Missed you."

Kakashi coughed. Not that safe.

He wordlessly handed the drink to the teen and stared when Naruto held his hand again. He exhaled and allowed it, trying to focus on his own drink, and struggled to ignore the hesitant glances the teen aimed his way.

Both of them, he realized, had never been in a relationship – was this a relationship? Was this what he agreed to yesterday? Was this what Naruto had expected of him? To hold his hand all the time and –

Naruto squeezed his hand. "Gonna walk the dogs?"

Good. A distraction. "Yes." He made another excuse, freed his hand, and packed food for the dogs. He grabbed a few leashes – handed Naruto the rest – and walked downstairs.

They reached their favorite spot, so Kakashi freed the dogs, organized their food, sat down near his favorite tree, and… and Naruto immediately joined his side, grabbing his hand.

Kakashi glanced at the teen, but Naruto looked away, cheeks flushed and jaw clenched. Fuck.

"Naruto," he sighed, "what are we doing?"

The teen tensed. His hand twitched around his palm. "Holding hands," he mumbled.

"I can tell," Kakashi replied dryly, then softened his voice. "Why?"

"Cause…." The teen hesitated. His eyes flickered up, then away. He tore wisps of grass with his free hand. "That's what couples do," he mumbled.

His voice was so quiet Kakashi could barely hear him. Break up with him, the logical part of him screamed. Explain it was all a mistake and –

"I thought we're waiting a year?" he asked gently and tightened his hold of the teen's hand. He traced his thumb along the white knuckles, easing their tension. Naruto's hold was crushing.

Naruto scowled. "Just for the kissing n' stuff," he objected. "Why's your eye closed?"

"Because we are outside, and I could be seen. I'm not an expert," he admitted, "but a relationship is more than sexual acts. If we're waiting –"

"Well, I'm not doing any period drama, fingers brushing kinda stuff," Naruto objected hotly. He twisted, sat on his knees, and grabbed Kakashi's shoulders. His face burned bright red. "I wanna touch you," he breathed. His voice melted and faded and the teen looked away, swallowing with difficulty. "I wanna know it's real. You, I mean. I don't get it," he whispered, his hold tightening. His fingers dug into Kakashi's flesh. "Yesterday I sat in your lap and you didn't even blink but now I'm holding your hand and s'all wrong and – "

"It's not wrong." Kakashi knew when he was defeated. He pulled the teen's waist and guided him into his lap, hugging him and cradling his head against his chest. "I was confused, that's all." He caressed the golden strands and cleared his throat. "I am not a big fan of hand-holding," he admitted quietly. "That does not mean I don't want – " His voice faltered.

Naruto softened in his arms. The teen hugged his neck, pulling himself closer, and Kakashi nosed at his hair and simply breathed.

"What… what do you like, then?" Naruto asked, his voice boyish and tender. "Um. I like it when you ruffle my hair," he confessed, his face hot against Kakashi's neck. "N' hugs. You were my first hug, Kakashi."

Kakashi blinked. The way Naruto said his name – a soft breath that melted on his tongue – sent a shiver down his spine. He sounded both shy and eager, demanding and delicate, when he said his name. Every fiber of his being wanted Naruto to say his name again – "I probably should not have done that," he admitted, shoving his thoughts away. "As your teacher – "

"Better than letting me cry like an idiot while you just stare," the teen objected, sitting up. "Acting all appropriate isn't worth shit if it means letting others suffer. You didn't say what you like."

Kakashi's breath shuddered against his lips. He maneuvered the teen and guided him to return to his lap as he tightened his hold of his waist and cradled his head against his neck. He brushed his cheek against soft, golden strands. "This," he murmured. "You in my arms."

He brushed away the teen's hair and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead.

His eye widened when he realized what he just did – and said – and did he not just promise to himself to keep his distance and –

But Naruto looked up at him, his eyes dark with desire and wide with wonder, and grinned. "I like it too," he declared, his eyes shy all of a sudden, and he lifted his hands and cupped Kakashi's cheeks. He traced his fingers over the short stubble, exploring the planes of his face, memorizing the texture.

His eyes were mesmerized. "You're so pretty," he mumbled. "I drew you a lot."

Kakashi hmmed and allowed the teen to explore him. His hands settled on his waist, careful not to touch the stripe of exposed skin. "I know," he replied dryly.

Naruto scowled. He squeezed Kakashi's face in his hands. "You were not supposed to!"

The man blinked when the scowl turned into an outright pout. "Right." He cleared his throat. "You drew me? What a surprise. I never would have guessed – "

Naruto pulled his ear. "Don't be an asshole, you jerk!"

Kakashi huffed. He covered the teen's hand with his palm and enticed it to tangle with his fingers instead. "I apologize," he said quietly. "Does that admission mean you'll finally show me what you drew?"

Naruto rolled his eyes but could not stop them from constantly darting in his hand's direction. The one Kakashi firmly held in his grasp. "Bet you snuck a peek. Stop pretending." His voice, however, held no venom.

Kakashi hmmed again. "I admit that I did. I wanted to know what you thought of me." He brushed his thumb against the teen's knuckles. "You drew my hands quite often."

Naruto nodded, distracted. "'Cause they're pretty. You're holding my hand."

"I am."

"But you said you don't like holding hands."

"But you do."

Naruto flushed red. "So?"

"So," Kakashi started, thinking. Why did it no longer bother him? "So," he replied quietly, "it appears you're the exception to every rule I have." His voice became oddly thick.

Naruto's breath shattered as the bridge of his nose bloomed red. His eyes darted up. "So kiss me," he demanded breathlessly.

Kakashi stared, eye wide, and forced himself to tear his eyes off Naruto; his hand, to keep holding Naruto's waist and not move up, cup his cheek, and…

"I said rules, not agreements," he managed, his heart thundering yet his voice as controlled as ever.

Naruto growled, frustrated, and the somewhat childish response eased the tension in Kakashi's body. He smirked in response.

Naruto scowled. His eyes darkened suddenly – which was not a good sign – the teen used his free hand to cup Kakashi's cheek, fingers curling around his jaw, tilted his head up, and kissed his cheek.

His lips were soft and gentle and so very innocent. The touch was fleeting, inexperienced, and Kakashi cursed himself for wanting more.

Naruto angled his head away and made a face. "I decided," he declared. "You can shave."

Kakashi blinked. "Oh?"

Naruto's cheeks blushed red. "It's rough," he explained, licking his bruised lips.

Which were rosy and slightly swollen and – "What did you think a beard was?" Kakashi asked dryly, trying to distract himself from the way Naruto was absentmindedly chewing on his lower lip.

"Like, brows? I don't know." He retraced his fingers over Kakashi's face, clearly unaware of the effect his innocent touch had on the man below him. "I mean, it suits you, but it feels weird."

Kakashi made an odd sound he wasn't too proud of. "All the more reason to keep it."

Naruto blinked, then glowered. "Hey!"

The man chuckled. He guided Naruto back into his arms and away from his face.

Naruto immediately sought his neck. "Wanna be roommates?"

"Absolutely not."

"Just until you leave!"

"No." Kakashi brushed his hair, trying to appease him. "What would Sakura think, hmm? Isn't she searching for an apartment for the two of you?"

Naruto sighed in defeat. "Yeah, but…." He blinked, his lashes caressing Kakashi's neck. "How'd you know?"

"She asked me for advice." He waited until Naruto eased against him, then added, "And I heard her declaring her intentions when she visited you."

Naruto burned red. "You were eavesdropping," he accused.

"I was not. She was really loud."

Naruto hmphed. "That's it. I'm taking away the wolf. I'll give it back only when you need it or when I want wolf cuddles." Despite his mutinous voice, he pushed himself closer.

Kakashi huffed. "With your accident record, I'd rather keep the form."

"At least half of them were not my fault," the teen protested.

"Which means the other half was," the man pointed out. He ruffled his hair. "I want to keep you safe."

And Naruto sighed and softened and snuggled closer in response, melting into his touch, and so Kakashi bundled him in his arms, keeping him as close as he could, and breathed him into his lungs.

His crisp, bright scent, sweet and warm and carrying just a hint of searing spice was a sharp, painful reminder that he was still too young.

Kakashi looked up, breathing in the soft summer breeze dancing among the trees, and swore to take his time.


Kakashi waited by Naruto's door, listening to the commotion his text invoked.

"Kay! I gotta go!" Naruto shouted, followed by the sound of rattling keys.

"Have fun!" Sakura shouted back. "Say hi to Kakashi for me!" She giggled.

Naruto burst out of the rental, locking his door, and noticed him. His eyes filled with warmth as he lunged into Kakashi's arms, hugging him close. "Hey," he murmured. "Were you waiting long?"

"No," Kakashi replied, pulling him closer as he sniffed his hair. "Although, perhaps ask Sakura not to shout my name quite so loud next time," he muttered dryly as he held Naruto's hand, guiding his fingers to tangle with his.

Naruto flushed red. "Right. Um. I didn't even tell her I was meeting you," he mumbled, blushing as Kakashi led him to his car. "She just shouted it outa nowhere."

"Oh? How'd she know?"

Naruto blushed even redder. "Um. She said she always knows cuz I'm… well, cuz I'm happy, so – "

Kakashi acted on instinct. He turned around, pulled Naruto into his arms, and hugged him as close as he could, nosing at his neck. He traced his nose along Naruto's cheek, filling the lungs with the teen's scent of sunshine and sweet summer breeze, searing it into his mind. Naruto's scent when he was happy was addictive. He buried his nose in his hair, tightening his hold of his waist.

Tentative hands settled on his waist, hugging him back. "Um… Kakashi? Um, not – not that I mind, but it's kinda hard to breathe."

Kakashi winced and eased his hold. He looked down, meeting Naruto's eyes, and smiled softly when he encountered wide blue eyes and burning red cheeks. "Forgive me, you're…" he cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone, "cute."

Naruto's cheeks burned redder as he scowled. "Am not!" he growled. "I'm a guy!"

Kakashi huffed, tangling his fingers in Naruto's golden hair. "I'm well aware," he remarked.

Naruto held on to his frustration as he gripped Kakashi's shirt. "So. So I'm not… cute. That's girl stuff."

Kakashi smiled in response. "Endearing, then."

"Tha-that's not an improvement!" Naruto spluttered. "If you say adorable, I'ma knee you in the nuts."

"And solve your homework by yourself?" When Naruto opened his mouth, he added, "I've been a victim of your knee before. Quite deadly."

The teen scowled, then rolled his eyes. "Fine," he grabbed Kakashi's hand and dragged him toward his car. "And it's not the entire assignment, y'know. It's just the last question that's giving me trouble."

Kakashi hmmed as he tightened his hold on Naruto's hand, smiling to himself as Naruto's ears bloomed pink. He was adorable, he noted, even when frustrated.

They entered the car, and Kakashi began to drive.

"Um, Kakashi? Where are we going?" Naruto asked, gazing at him quizzically. "The library's the opposite way."

"And packed," Kakashi noted. He turned to smile at the teen, savoring the soft blush that decorated the bridge of his nose. "And today is such a beautiful day. Let's study outside."

Naruto blinked, and then, "Really?" he cried excitedly, bouncing in his seat. "Awesome! Ah, I mean," he added, flustered when Kakashi glanced his way. "I thought you'd be a library freak, or something."

Kakashi smiled. "The library is too crowded for me. This is my favorite spot." He parked next to an old oak tree, then turned to Naruto –

But the teen burst out of the car, kicking his shoes off and running to the tree, his footsteps muffled by the soft grass. "This is awesome!" he yelled, taking in the view of the nearby hills, crowned by mighty trees and fallen leaves, painted green and gold and brown. "I didn't know I lived near a park!"

Kakashi shook his head, exited the car, and walked to the trunk. He retrieved a large basket and then joined the teen. He couldn't look away from the sight of Naruto, chest huffing and cheeks flushed from exercise, hair crowned by shining rays of the shy autumn sun…

"Well," he heard himself say. "The university is surrounded by a national park. It's one of Konoha's main selling points, actually." He put down the basket and fetched a blanket which he then spread on the softest patch of grass he could find. He reached into the basket again, setting containers with sliced fruit and freshly made sandwiches and –

Naruto crashed onto his side, hugging him and, in his excitement, toppling them both onto the blanket. "This – this is a picnic!" the teen declared, eyes shining brightly as he gazed up at him. "You made – this is my first – I mean – you – " he buried his face in the crook of Kakashi's shoulder. "You surprised me."

Kakashi hugged his waist with one hand, pulling him close. "That was the intention," he remarked. "Studying tends to make one hungry."

Naruto grinned at him, beaming, and kissed his cheek. "I love you," he declared, then blushed bright red and got up, allowing him to sit up. "S-so do we eat now, or study, and then, or, I mean, um…."

Kakashi pushed himself into a sitting position, wondering at Naruto's sudden shyness, and noticed the jumpy twitchiness of his fingers, as if they were seeking something to grab and pull but not quite daring to move.

He held his hand.

Naruto gazed up, eyes wide, and crashed again into his lap, landing in a mess of tangled limbs as he tried to fit as much of himself as he could into space between Kakashi's arms. His shaky breath eased when Kakashi hugged him back, hands tightening around his stomach, and offered him a sandwich. "We can do both," he replied offhandedly, smiling when Naruto eagerly accepted the sandwich and bit into it.

Then Naruto moaned, leaning back against him as he swallowed. "This is amazing! Did you make it?"

Soft blue eyes turned to gaze at him, wide and innocent, and Kakashi had to clear his throat – and his thoughts. "Yes. Show me the problem."

Naruto finished the sandwich, licked his fingers, and fished out the tablet Jiraiya gifted him to congratulate him for starting college. "It's this one. I've been trying to find the limit for an hour, but something just doesn't add up…."

Kakashi reviewed his work. "You skipped a step."

"I did?"

"You need to prove the limit exists before trying to find it."

Naruto groaned. "Really? But this is boring!"

"This is calculus."

Naruto huffed. "Fine," he grumbled. "Well, it's clearly increasing, so – "

"Is it?"

Naruto froze. "Um, isn't it?"

Kakashi hmmed. "I don't know. You need to prove it."

Naruto scowled and grumbled an incoherent complaint. "Fine. It's obvious, but I guess – well, it will be easier if you stopped doing that."

Kakashi frowned, baffled, then noticed his hands, quite on their own, slowly rubbed Naruto's stomach. "I apologize," he managed, then kept his hand busy by fishing an apple slice and feeding it to Naruto instead.

"So – " Naruto bit into the apple and chewed, then scribbled a quick proof – "Alright. Done. Now I need to show it's bounded from above…." He stared at the problem, biting into the apple slice Kakashi held in his fingers absentmindedly, then growled in frustration, "I don't know!"

Kakashi wiped his fingers on a napkin, then picked another slice. "Well, what methods did Jirayia teach you?"

"Long ones." Then, the frustration melted from the teen's face as his eyes lit with a mischievous gleam. "I have a shortcut, though."

Kakashi exhaled. "Naruto, you need to mas-"

But Naruto turned around, the tablet forgotten by his side, and cupped his cheeks defiantly. He grinned. "I know you know. I'ma kiss you until I reach the supremum."

And he leaned in, eyes determined, and showered him with kisses. Soft, innocent lips danced along his cheek, traced a path along his jaw… and clashed with his forehead. "Tell me when I'm close," Naruto ordered breathlessly and continued to kiss him, covering every available inch except for his lips.

Heat burned through his veins, flashing like lightning all the way down to –

He had to stop him. "Well, it's going to take you a while," he managed, his voice shamefully raw and burdened, "to reach infinity."

Naruto finally leaned back, eyes gleaming triumphantly. "I knew it!" he declared. His chest puffed, looking downright delish-

Fingers again cupped his cheek, tracing burning paths along his skin and tangling in his hair, as Naruto's eyes darkened with want. "Guess I have to reward you."

He leaned closer, eyelashed fluttering –

Kakashi shoved his face, quite unceremoniously, away from his. "Patience, brat," he managed. "You still need to prove it."

Naruto huffed. "You're so annoying," he mumbled, then leaned against his chest and picked up the tablet again.

He kept talking about this and that, asking him about the correctness of his proof or sharing some funny stories about Jiraiya, but Kakashi could not follow. He answered automatically and kept feeding him apples and prayed to all the gods above Naruto would not notice the bulge straining against his jeans.

This was close. Far too close. He almost lost control. He could not afford to test his restraint again.

They finished their food, solved the problem, packed. Kakashi drove Naruto home and, once again, had to resist him when the teen tried to convince him to enter his apartment.

He drove to his apartment, opened his laptop, and found the number he needed. Called it.

Naruto was going to hate him for this, he knew, but he had to. He couldn't allow himself to hurt him. He had to protect him. He –

He hoped Naruto would forgive him.


Dating Kakashi was a pain.

Naruto woke up and stared at the ceiling. He imagined Kakashi was doing the same, staring and once again having doubts about their relationship. Every single day, Kakashi had to be guilted to meet him, reluctant and conflicted, and every single time, Naruto had to convince him to stay.

He was getting good at that, but he was tired of having to prove himself every single goddamn day.

College didn't change that. He was busier than ever, practically drowning in new concepts and homework. And though Kakashi was more than willing to help him, the man was busy as well, working on formulas and experiments that felt eons beyond his grasp.

It was odd and exhilarating to watch the man in his element – curling his hand under his chin as he devised genius solutions to impossible problems. But damn, was he popular. It was hard not to feel jealous when he was greeted warmly everywhere he went, which meant Naruto still had to fight for his attention. He knew Kakashi thought his frustration was incredibly silly, but –

His phone vibrated.

Naruto groaned and picked up the phone, blinking at the screen. He squinted his eyes and – Kakashi. The name flashed on the screen and disappeared. Naruto sat up, heart racing, and unlocked the phone.

"You up?"

And rolled his eyes. And here he thought maybe today the man would text something romantic. "Good morning to you too," he typed, annoyed. He blew hot air at nothing, shaking his head. He wondered, for a moment, if cutting his hair shorter would make him look manlier.

Kakashi did not reply, so Naruto caved in and added, "love you."

And sent.

And groaned, grabbing his pillow and sinking his teeth into it. Fucking hell. He made sure to always tell the man he loved him every single day, and yet, it never got easier.

Perhaps because Kakashi never said it back.

His phone vibrated again.

Naruto wanted to play it cool and make him wait, but his curiosity got the better of him. He opened the phone and huffed.

"I know," Kakashi replied. "Open the door."

Naruto blinked.

Open the door? Which door? What – his door?

Naruto scrambled up, stumbling on his blanket and almost tripping on yesterday's homework. He ran out, ignoring Sakura, who greeted him, and rushed to the front door, which he opened with a start.

And stared – because there stood Kakashi, looking insanely handsome wearing the coat and the scarf Naruto picked for him, holding two rather large boxes and a cup holder with three drinks.

Kakashi blinked, then smiled. "Happy birthday, Naruto."

"S'tomorrow," Naruto blurted, failing to take in the sight of everything all at once. Kakashi refused to come and visit him. He tried to coerce, cajole, and trick him so many times –

"I know, but I assume you'll start celebrating at midnight," Kakashi explained, his smile softening. "I wanted to be the first to greet you."

Naruto's cheeks blazed red. "Oh, um – "

"Such an overachiever," Sakura complained from the kitchen. "Just let him in before I freeze to death. And put on a jacket, Naruto. It's cold."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're such a mom," he protested, grinning, and grabbed Kakashi's forearm, leading him inside. "You got me gifts?" he asked excitedly.

Kakashi gave him an amused look. "Naturally." He fished something from his pocket and handed it to him. "Don't open it until midnight."

Sakura jumped from her seat and leaned her chin on Naruto's shoulder, gazing at the nondescript box. "It's so small!" she cried. Her eyes lit up. "Don't tell me – you got him a wedding ring?!"

Naruto choked on nothing.

"I did not," Kakashi replied dryly. "Don't do that," he added when Naruto shook the box, trying to listen and discern what was inside. "Keep acting like a child, and I'll give you a stuffed puppet instead."

Naruto scowled and Sakura giggled. He rolled his eyes, his heart still racing, and ran to his room. He put the box on the cleanest part of his desk and ran back. "What's in the other boxes?" he asked, heart fluttering.

"Sit, and I'll show you."

Naruto scrambled to take a seat near the table, eyes wide, and blushed when Sakura snickered. "Shut up," he muttered. "You're just as curious as I am."

It was the first time he celebrated his birthday; well, properly, that is. He was certain Kakashi knew that, but he didn't want to share that with Sakura.

The young woman probably wanted to say something because Kakashi's eye flickered in her direction with a silent reprimand and a slight twitch of his lips. He returned his eye to Naruto and slowly – very slowly – removed the lid.

Naruto's leg trembled in agitation. "Come on already," he demanded. "Stop being so dramatic."

"Patience."

Without breaking eye contact, the man reached inside… and retrieved a smaller container that smelled downright delicious. And then another small container, smelling just as good – an army of them –finally, he opened the other box and retrieved a large pitcher filled with orange juice and a black container with a note that said 'open at midnight' that he placed in the fridge.

Naruto blinked. He had no idea what just happened. Did Kakashi… gift him food?

Sakura moaned. "It's a birthday breakfast! That's so romantic!" She retrieved two plates and silverware and helped Kakashi set the table, then snapped a quick pic. "I'm texting this to Sasuke. This is beyond adorable. Did you make all of this?"

Naruto's eyes snapped up. He baked for him. Kakashi baked for him. He smiled at the man, grinning from the depth of his soul when Kakashi's eye met his gaze.

His heart felt like it was about to burst from happiness.

Kakashi hmmed and looked away. "Not the coffee." He handed her a paper cup. "I made enough for you, as well."

Sakura cocked her brows, then smiled. "And be a third wheel? No way." Still, she took the coffee and her keys. "I'm going to Ino's. For a study session," she emphasized, grinning when Naruto's ears burned red. "You two have fun!" and left.

Naruto grinned. He ran into Kakashi's arms and hugged him close. "Thank you," he whispered, snuggling into his embrace, then looked up and brushed his fingers across his cheek, traveling up along the scar, and removed his eye patch.

Kakashi let him. He wrapped his hand around his waist and used the other to brush his hair. "Hmm. Let's eat, shall we?"

He led him to the table, his hands slow to release him, and started piling food on a plate which he then handed to him.

He spent the rest of the day with him.

They finished eating – Naruto blushed and guided Kakashi away from the sink when the man tried to do the dishes – and he led him to the sofa. They spent hours poring over mathematical concepts and Naruto felt like he could drown in Kakashi's eyes when the man made cheesy math puns. The day stretched into lunch – which they shared – and then early evening. The man pulled him into his lap and snuggled him when they watched TV, his hand brushing Naruto's hair, and Naruto leaned against his chest and wished the clock would hurry up and strike twelve.

He ignored the silent feeling of dread that flared in his heart whenever Kakashi looked at him with his eyes dark and haunted, but those moments were few and quick to disappear.

He really, really, should have known better.

When Kakashi left around ten, making some flimsy excuse, Naruto simply nodded and grinned in response. Kakashi promised to keep his promises, so he thought – foolish and maybe a little horny – that he probably planned yet another surprise. Not even when an hour passed and Kakashi did not return, did he allow his trust in him to waver; not even when the clock struck twelve and into the apartment burst Sakura, accompanied by an army of friends, and wished him a happy birthday.

He trusted him, so he waited.

When it was half past one in the morning and Kakashi had yet to reappear, the dread hardened into lead, sinking into his stomach. He got out of the apartment, a beer in hand, and dialed Kakashi's number.

His heart beat painfully against his chest.

The phone beeped, indicating the call was connected, but no sound was heard from the other side.

Naruto leaned against the wall. "Um, hello?"

The other side sighed in response.

Naruto's breath quickened. "You're okay?" he asked, faking a grin. "Gone for a long time."

Silence, and then. "Yes."

Fuck. Naruto leaned forward, gripping the railings. His head spun. "You… you're coming back?" he continued, feeling like an idiot. "Um. It's past twelve, and… and all. You promised," he added, his voice desperate. "We made a deal."

"I know. I'm sorry," Kakashi said colorlessly. His voice was muffled. "I couldn't do it. I wanted to tell you – "

"Tell me what? That you're chicken shit? Come and say that to my face," Naruto demanded, his voice brittle. "Where are you?"

"Open the gift I gave you."

"What the hell? No. I'm busy being mad at you," Naruto protested. He tried to sound humorous, but his heart rang hollow. He had to force himself to breathe. "I'm not opening anything until you tell me what's going on," he said, proud of his voice for not shaking.

"I'm not telling you what's going on until you open the gift I gave you."

Naruto scoffed. "You're such – You're such a piece of shit!" He smacked the railings and stormed inside, avoiding well-wishers and the general party. He entered his bedroom and locked the door, then made a mess out of opening the box.

His fingers trembled, rage and fear drowning anything else. If this was a prank, he didn't like it one bit. Still, he prayed with every shaky beating of his heart, let it be just a dumb prank. If Kakashi left him –

He shook the box – and something metallic fell out. Something shiny and heavy.

Car keys. An old set of car keys that belonged to –

"You gave me your car," Naruto breathed. His momentary joy froze and burned in his chest like ice. "You left me your car," he rephrased, sinking into the bed. "You're leaving the country."

Kakashi said nothing.

No. No. No.

His breath shuddered and his voice broke. "But you said April, we had time till April. You said – "

"I know," the man replied, his voice soft and pained. "I messed up. I'm sorry, Naruto, I – "

"You liar," Naruto whispered. Tears welled in his eyes and stained his voice. "You fucking liar."

Kakashi exhaled weakly. "I know. I truly am sorry, Naruto. I thought I could control better – "

"Your apology is just another lie! Unless you – you drop whatever it is you're doing and you come back here like you promised – " Naruto heaved, his throat tightening. "What's the point of apologizing if you never change?" he choked.

"Naruto – "

"Don't wanna hear it. Come back," he begged, curling unto himself. "Please come back, Kakashi."

Kakashi was quiet yet again. Naruto could almost imagine him cradling his head against his neck and buying himself time. "I can't," he murmured. "I signed a contract for an earlier start at Kumogakure. I – "

"They asked you to sign early and you didn't think to tell me?" Naruto bristled.

"No," Kakashi replied quietly. "I asked them if they were willing to take me earlier." He paused, then muttered, "They said yes."

"Why?" Naruto demanded, hand tangling in his hair and pulling. "Are you – are you breaking up with me?" he whispered, his voice broken and breaking.

"No!" Kakashi snapped, then hesitated. "Though I understand if you want to – "

Naruto jumped up, wiping his tears furiously. "No! Course I don't! I love you!" He found it hard to breathe. "Why are you leaving me?"

"It's wrong for me to do otherwise," Kakashi muttered. "You just got out of a terrible situation – a terrible life with no… no father or authority figure to protect you and be your guide. Children use affection to draw adults to protect them. It…" he paused, as if to steel himself, "has crossed my mind that maybe one form of love could be substituted for another as age and norms progress – "

And Naruto saw red. "You think I love you 'cause of some daddy issues?! You – " He scrambled up, fury burning within his lungs. "You got some nerve, telling me what I'm feeling. No," he spat. "I love you, you stupid man." His voice broke, trembling with rage and pain. "I don't know if I wanna punch you or kiss you or both," he breathed, encouraged by the muted intake of air from the other side. "I love you. I tell it to you every day 'cause I know you don't believe it. I'll never stop telling you because I'll never stop loving you, Kakashi," he choked, treasuring every tremor of shuddered breath the phone managed to provide. "Even though I'm so fucking mad at you." His voice trembled again as he furiously wiped his eyes. "You made me breakfast. I thought you did this cause you liked me. I thought you liked me."

Kakashi hesitated, then murmured, "Naruto – "

"Shut up," Naruto interrupted, his voice tense. "If you got something to say, say it to my face. Otherwise I don't wanna hear it."

Kakashi said nothing.

Naruto curled on the bed, knees against his chest, hugging his pillow and staring at his phone. Counting the seconds and the minutes and the silence. Come back, he thought, desperate and aching. Say you're coming back. His hand, once again, tangled in his hair –

And was met by another hand, cool and silvery and bright. The hand gathered light that became an arm, then a shoulder, then a man… and Kakashi, moondust and starlight, materialized before his very eyes, gazing at him.

He leaned over his body, brushed his hair, and kissed his forehead. "Naruto – "

Naruto stared, eyes wide. "How-how are you doing that?" he gasped, wrapping his arms around Kakashi's neck and pulling him close. "S'like you're here," he mumbled, caressing the shining silvery strands. "A disco-ball version."

Kakashi gave him a look, then sat on the bed across from him and caressed Naruto's cheeks. His thumbs wiped his tears, ever gentle, but the touch felt cool and sent a shiver down his spine.

"Today wasn't an apology," Kakashi murmured. "I wanted to make you happy."

Naruto curled into his touch, holding on to those cold silver hands. "Shoulda stayed."

Kakashi leaned close and nuzzled at his hair. "I promise to pick up every call," he murmured.

Naruto scowled at the glowing body. "I'll call every day."

The man hmmed. "I'll forward you my schedule. Try not to call when I am teaching," he added, his voice slightly teasing. His eyes sobered as he leaned down and kissed Naruto's forehead again. "Next time I see you, I'll make it up to you," he promised to his skin.

And disappeared. The light faded into dust that faded into nothing.

Naruto covered his eyes with his arm. Just like my dog, he realized with a huff. The wilderness is a part of him.

Determined knocking interrupted him. "Naruto? Why are you hiding in your room?" Sakura demanded. "This is your birthday party, you know."

She sounded annoyed, but Naruto knew her well enough to know she was worried.

"Just a minute!" He wiped his eyes, fixed the mess that was his face, and opened the door. "Sorry about that," he managed. "Kakashi called, and…." But he could not bring himself to say the man had left. He swallowed, the gesture harsh and unforgiving, and tried to look happy.

Luckily, Sakura didn't have Kakashi's eyes. She did not see through his lie. "Oh?" she said suggestively and grinned at him, then punched his shoulder when he flinched. "I'm kidding. Is it about the cake?"

Naruto stared, his misery forgotten. "What cake."

Sakura shook her head and held his hand. She led him back to the kitchen to the cheers of all the party-goers and opened the fridge. She retrieved the mysterious black container and placed it on the table. "Gather round, everyone!"

The students responded with approving claps and whistling.

She smiled at him, her grin surprisingly soft, and removed the lid, revealing a gorgeous, homemade cake covered with orange glazing and a rather bad doodle of a frog saying 'happy birthday' in Kakashi's perfect, almost illegible cursive.

He baked him a cake, a homemade cake like he always wanted –

Sakura and Ino stuck eighteen candles into the glazing, careful not to ruin the drawing, and lit them for him.

Someone turned off the lights and another lowered the volume of the music. They waited for him, cheering and congratulating him.

Naruto's breath shuddered when he realized that his wish had come true.

He had friends.

For the first time since elementary school, he did not celebrate his birthday alone.

Naruto blinked, wiped his eyes, and smiled from the bottom of his heart. "Thanks, guys, for coming," he managed, his voice surprisingly steady. "Um. This really means a lot, to me. Thank you."

His lower lip shivered, just a bit, and Sakura immediately wrapped her hands around him as his friends smiled right back, cheering him on…

"Um, Naruto?" said Ino. "Not that I want to ruin the moment, but the candles are melting, and I don't want to eat a waxy cake."

Right. Naruto smiled, wiped his face one last time, and detached himself from Sakura. He gazed at the cake, thought of a wish, then filled his lungs with air and blew out the candles. "Yosh!" he declared, pumping up his fist. "I'm eighteen now! Let's party!"

And they did. Sakura cut him a slice of cake, which was absolutely delicious, and then a tall, lean government student called Shikamaru poured him a shot, and Ino smashed a piece of cake into his face, and Lee got him another beer, and…

At around five in the morning, he found himself drunk and dizzy and alone in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"The only thing you can do is give him time. Time to trust you and get used to you." Murmured a whisper in his mind from the time Kakashi was just a man and he was just Naruto. Things were less complicated back then.

Back then, I didn't get Kakashi-style sparkle phantoms, he thought, snickering. I'ma figure it out and freak him out, get him good, he decided. Can't smell a… a bond spirit.

The thought put a smile on his face. He was going to make Kakashi miss him, want him, desire him to the point the ghosts of his past would have nothing left to haunt. Love would come after, he consoled himself.

Love would follow, and touch would guide.


Notes


First – sorry for posting late! HW was a little intense this week.

So… yes, well, there's still more drama to unpack!

Sasuke and Sakura know, obviously. Naruto was mopey and heartbroken one day and then sunny and upbeat the next. They know lol

Kakashi took Naruto for his first picnic! I added just a little bit of math (I hope I didn't traumatize anyone lol), and then Naruto scared the living daylights out of Kakashi by giving him a hard-on.

And well… I mean, technically Naruto had wolf!Kakashi celebrating with him the year before, but I think he still felt really lonely. So this was the first time he felt surrounded by love, even if Kakashi had to fuck off at the last minute.

It's not gonna last forever, I promise! They just have to address a few kinks in their relationship, but it won't be something big like before. They are both young (esp. Naruto) and unused to being in a relationship, but they are both intent on staying together (in one form or another).

There'll be more Sakura next chapter, and a new character we haven't met yet!

Thank yall for your support! Your comments make my day! Truly! Whenever I'm stuck on a problem and get frustrated, your comments cheer me up and give me the motivation to keep going!

Let me know what you think, and I'll see ya next Friday!