Author's Note:
To remind everyone (I forgot myself too), Ch 1 & 2 happened on the same day, Ch 3 & 4 the next day. Today is the 3rd day since Damian left including the day he left as Day 1 (chapter 1). And while I'm at it, this story has been planned long ago.
And I actually had a hard time writing the last chapter, but I'm glad you guys liked it.
IMPORTANT: Apparently, I didn't mention Jon's clothes, he is coincidentally wearing a white and jeans too. So they kinda look like they are wearing a couple outfit.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
The waiter came to their table and gave them their menu and a cup of water. Jon quietly observed Raven from where he sat across from her. He wondered often when she became like this, and he knew it was around the time when her father died. There was a heaviness in his chest that he could not describe as he stared at Raven but it was something familiar and it happened frequently.
He had asked her about the details of Trigon's death, at first she would refuse to say a thing to anyone who asked and then finally she would simply say: they had fought and it was strenuous on her part but she defeated him. He went to confirm the details with Damian, who had repeated the exact same thing. However, it was clear to Jon that Damian was at a loss when Damian relayed the same message Raven told Jon.
Jon thought that maybe Damian could also see that Raven was hiding something.
As the months passed by Jon was certain that she was hiding something from them and Damian felt the same way- at least for the first few months. Due to Damian's worry for his girlfriend, Damian went as far as asking Jon if she had said anything to him, but Jon was just as left in the dark as Damian and so he had nothing to tell his best friend and couldn't comfort him.
Jon knew that Damian didn't want to force Raven when she wasn't ready and Jon understood why Damian wouldn't want to force Raven and maybe that was why Jon had been reminding Raven that if she can't talk to Damian, she had him- one of her best friends. And then he realized how flawed that was, Jon wasn't her boyfriend, why would he urge her to confide in him?
His concern for her then became him urging her to tell at least Damian, after all they were dating for five years. Or maybe his obsession on making sure Raven was alright, stemmed from the fact that Damian relied on Jon to look after Raven when he was away. He also felt that Damian relied on Jon to inform him if something was indeed amiss with Raven.
When the day came that Damian no longer doubted Raven, even Jon was baffled as to why. Looking back, he now clearly sees, whenever Raven was with Damian, it was like she was another person, like the mysterious air she had would just fade around her boyfriend. And then Jon would start doubting himself, maybe all his doubt about Raven was indeed a trick of the eye. After all, if anyone should know her well, it should be her partner, and her partner didn't seem to worry as much about her.
"I actually had lunch- well brunch with someone about 2 hours ago. I made a new friend, Jon!" Raven happily chatted but then frowned when she saw that Jon seemed vacant. "Jon?"
Jon blinked and then smiled at her, "I'm sorry, I was just wondering what mission Damian could be on." He lied smoothly, something he probably learned from Damian. He was curious about why Damian had been MIA, but right now as he stared at Raven he was more worried about her than where Damian was.
Jon noticed how Raven tightly smiled when he mentioned Damian and how there was a sadness that passed through her eyes in the faintest flash. When Raven blinked it was gone and so he thought that maybe it was him projecting. He remembered all the times she told Jon that she loves Damian, the conviction in her eyes and voice could not be faked- Jon knew she was sincere. And yet, a small voice was whispering his doubts at the back of his mind. What if she didn't?
"But you made a new friend, that's great!" Jon smiled at her, really happy she made a friend while putting his worries about Damian and Raven away.
"This is the first time you mentioned a name from Gotham that isn't related to Damian." He added as he observed her smile at him genuinely. "So, who is this friend?"
Maybe Jon was just being dramatic, Raven insisted that she is fine, so she must be. If she wasn't she would have reached out already. If Damian hasn't been worried about her now, there probably isn't anything to worry about.
It was years ago when Damian told Jon that there was no one else besides his family that he'd trust with Raven's life. And Jon believed that his childhood best friend still felt the same way now. Sure they had their fair share of jealous arguments but the three pushed passed through it. The thought of Damian being ever jealous because of him brought equal amusement and pain to Jon.
"Well, he's a male," Raven said and Jon's eyes widened and he took a sip from his water, his mind brought back to their conversation and Raven chuckled. "His name is Liam and we met at the gym today." Jon set down his cup and blinked at her, processing her words.
"Oh? Is this the same gym you said you've been going to- since you went to Gotham?" He asked, recalling that she mentioned such a thing before and she nodded. "Oh so, he just waited around for-" Jon stopped when he noticed that Raven was getting upset. "A new friend! That's great, Rae, I'm sorry for sounding cynical, it's just-"
She cut him off, "You're looking out for me because of Damian?"
He froze, "No, Rae- you know Damian would get worried."
"I know," She pressed her lips and with a lighter tone added, "Do you think he'd get jealous?" And to Jon it seemed that her train of thought went back to that time when they were teens and of Damian's jealousy. It was a memory the three often laugh about now.
"Oh, I am certain he will run a background check just to be sure." Jon said and they laughed. "But I think," Jon stopped for a second and looked at Raven faintly with a sad smile. "He won't be as jealous as he was when we were in our teens." Raven giggled at the implication.
"He was such a sulky little kid!" Raven laughed into her hands.
"Oh, he was." Jon agreed immediately as he shook his head and picked up his glass of water to take another sip. "But wait, does it mean you're full?" Jon asked when he remembered that she said she ate and from what he understood with Liam.
She shook her head no and smiled, "Oddly enough, I am actually hungry."
"Then that's great, let's decide on what to eat and we can talk about how Damian was throwing his jealous fit." Jon gestured for her to look at the menu and she giggled.
"That was so many years ago." She whispered softly.
Jon had joined the Teen Titans out of curiosity and because his father Clark had presented him a choice to join the team or not. Of course he took the opportunity, Jon suspected Damian had an interest in someone in the team. And what better way to confirm his suspicions than joining the Teen Titans, and thus of course he joined the team.
Jon shook his head and tried to forget the memories of their teens as he decided his meal. The two decided on what to eat and waited for their food to arrive.
"I'm just wondering, is this place a-" Raven leaned in to whisper to Jon.
Jon leaned in too in a whisper, "A five star restaurant?" as he cut her off. Jon smiled at her surprised expression as she leaned back on her seat waiting for his explanation. "I wouldn't dare bring Damian's girlfriend to anything less." Jon's eyes widened in feigned fear and she laughed and he laughed too as he stared at her relaxed expression. He felt a tug in his chest that he knew awfully too well and ignored.
"He'd want this for you." Jon smiled as he put a stop on his laughter and leaned back on his chair. He looked at his surroundings knowing well that Damian would have brought her here. "And we haven't hung out since you went to Gotham, it's the least I could do." He added as he looked back at her with a shrug, he noticed her sad gaze right before his eyes laid on her eyes and now it was gone as he looked straight into those beautiful violet eyes.
Raven smiled at him, "But I'm the one who dragged you out."
For a moment Jon thought that Raven looked as if she was just a fraction of herself, but the image faded quickly and he looked at her confused.
"You could never force me to do something that I hate." Jon said and he was as startled as Raven was with his words. "I think that's what Damian is also thinking." He added and laughed nervously and Raven smiled.
"But how did you get a place here- this seems like the kind of place that needs a reservation." Raven asked and Jon looked at her extremely troubled and Raven became worried because of this, it reflected on her face.
"Raven- Damian has a table here exclusively reserved." Jon said and Raven looked at him as if ashamed of not knowing such a thing and yet it was clear she was afraid to ask why. He smiled gently to ease her nerves as he added. "Did you forget?" He laughed a little to try and calm her. "You and Damian came here for a date when you two went to visit me. After that he always had a table ready just in case."
Raven's brows were etched and it seemed that she forced herself to smile and laugh and agree to Jon's revelation but her eyes were telling Jon: how did he get to use the reservation and it clearly showed how she didn't recall this fact.
"Damian also put my name on the list just in case- for days like this, so I could take his special girl to a place she deserves. He also wanted me to use the reservation in case I want to bring a special someone somewhere fancy. But I think he had a table reserved because you had said that you liked the ambiance here." He cautiously added. He quietly observed Raven's expression relax and she genuinely laughed.
"That does sound like him." She said but it didn't alleviate Jon's worries. He knew she had been acting so weird since Trigon's death, but he didn't pay that much mind to it because Damian wasn't. He was sure something was wrong with Raven, he shouldn't doubt himself over this matter. But he had to admit it only really became clear that something was up only a year ago- it was her many hobbies that reignited the doubt.
"Raven, have you been sleeping properly?" Jon asked full of concern for his friend, he recalled that she had mentioned that she had trouble sleeping. Raven's face instantly looked guilty as she dodged his eyes.
"Raven, does Damian even know?" Jon's tone seemed to have raised a bit more and as she glanced at him, Jon knew the answer. "Raven, you told me he knows."
"And I will tell him." She insisted and before they could have a full on argument the waiter came to their table and handed them their dishes. The two sat in silence even after the waiter left.
"I have told you so many times to tell Damian." Jon whispered quietly, simply hurt by the situation. He can't ignore her strange behavior, she had obviously changed.
"You know," He glanced at her seriously and soothed his voice to come out more gentle. "I am certain Damian is working extremely hard in order to make sure you don't end up being called for backup."
When the words came out of his mouth, it seemed like Raven was processing it through her mind and she glanced up at Jon with wavering eyes. "He wouldn't." She softly muttered, her eyelids fluttering as if trying to avoid crying.
"You know he would." Jon stated and Raven looked down extremely guilty. He didn't even know why she felt or looked guilty, he pressed his lips together and sighed. He didn't understand why she was acting as if she never thought of him that way. He knows the kinds of extremes the two were willing to do for one another, and Jon was very aware they were transparent towards each other.
"Well, if Damian sees us together in such a fancy restaurant he might actually beat me up." Jon leaned back on his chair sounding as jokingly as he could muster and Raven looked at him with a faint smile and shook her head.
"He won't." She replied, her violet eyes showed her certainty of the matter. Now she looked as if she knew where she stood in Damian's heart. Now it seemed as if she knew clearly the kinds of extremes Damian was willing to go for her, just as she would for him.
"Yeah, he likely won't. He'd sit beside you and ask about your day with so much love." Jon smiled at the thought, he knew that was how Damian would act. Who would have thought that man had a gentle and soft side whenever he was with Raven.
"I love him, I hope you know that." She said looking dazed and he looked at her gently and with a polite smile.
"I do." Jon replied quietly as he stared at her, he could almost see it clearly, how Raven seemed to be playing a part. He has always known that Raven loves Damian and vice versa, and he had no doubt about it, but right now, there was a sliver of doubt even on that fact.
"Let's get into our meal," Jon suggested and gestured to her dish and she nodded, maybe he was just over thinking things. "So, I assume that you do plan to make friends with Liam?" He ventured to ask and she stared at him as she picked up her spoon.
"Yes, do you think it's a bad idea?" Raven tilted her head and Jon shook his head in disagreement.
"I think it is a good idea, you do need friends in Gotham." Jon replied. "I'm sorry for being cynical a while ago, but you do need normal friends." Jon tapped the table to capture her attention that seemed to drift. "You did say, you wanted to experience a normal civilian life, didn't you?" Jon added with doubt because maybe he was wrong about it, maybe he recalled it wrongly.
"You're right, that's what I wanted." She smiled at him tightly just when he was doubting his memory, he sighed in relief that his information was right.
"Damian wouldn't be jealous of Liam." She mumbled as if trying to convince herself and Jon was worried. He never thought she would think Damian would be that jealous.
"Damian loves you and trusts you. I know you wouldn't betray each other that way." Jon said, trying to be encouraging. Raven then put her fork on the meat and grabbed her knife. "He would never be as jealous as that time though." Jon laughed at the memory and Raven's overall vibe seemed to lighten up at the thought.
"Gosh, I didn't expect that Damian would be such a jealous man!" Raven's eyes seemed to twinkle at the thought. "And yet it made so much sense." She shook her head.
"Right?" Jon sighed in relief that that incident was long over and would never make a comeback. But most importantly, that Raven finally seemed relaxed and unbothered- almost genuinely happy.
The two enjoyed their meals as they chatted about their past and Damian and because of how happy their conversations were, Jon forgot all his doubts and worries about Raven. It must have all been him overthinking and overanalyzing. He was just a friend and if Damian hadn't raised the matter to him, Jon was probably just overthinking these worries he had.
When they were going to pay for the bill Raven had offered to pay but Jon insisted that he would pay for their luxurious meal.
"Oh, it seems that our dear Jon has a lot of spare cash, huh?" Raven nudged at him playfully when they left the building.
"Really, it's my pleasure to be able to make you happy. You deserve that Raven." He said sincerely and hearing this Raven abruptly stopped. Jon looked back confused and it looked as though the words were something she never thought of.
"I deserve to be happy." She repeated almost a question to Jon's ears. "I do, you're right." She said louder as she looked at him straight in the eyes, her conviction clear, but it gave Jon another wave of doubt and worry.
"Raven, is everything really okay?" He asked as he took a step forward and touched her arm, she looked up at him and smiled sincerely.
"Yes, everything is perfectly fine, Jon." He almost believed her, but the nagging feeling that was at the back of his mind made sure that he shouldn't believe her. He looked around the buildings, but this was probably not the time and place to grill her over this.
"Well, you did say you need to buy a new phone, shall we go?" Jon offered his elbow to Raven and she smiled as she locked arms with him.
"With pleasure!" She giggled, seeming to have lost that moment of realization that caused his confusion and worry to return. Maybe it was nothing- no it was something, but not now, Jon quietly decided. He had to make her happy for Damian and a small ache was felt in his chest that he ignored, perhaps something he had gotten accustomed to.
The rest of their day was spent with complete merriment that Jon was put back to thinking that whatever doubts he had over Raven was all in his head. She was laughing and happy and cheery, and it couldn't be possible that she was anything other than okay.
They shopped Raven's phone first and then she suggested they continue shopping for clothes or whatever, for her and for Damian. And he agreed because he felt that it had been so long since he had been this happy. Was all his worries really unfounded?
"Let me buy you something!" Raven said as she pulled Jon to an expensive clothing store and his eyes widened and then laughed as he stayed on his spot.
"No, Raven, it's totally alright." He insisted and she stopped trying to pull him as it was clear that he wasn't going to budge- he was after all superboy.
"Damian wouldn't mind, you're his best friend." She told him and it was like she answered a question that didn't fully form in Jon's head. For a second he wondered if she had put her shield down, but it was unlikely because she wouldn't be pulling him inside the store if she felt his conflict. This time he gave in to Raven's wishes and went into the store with a sigh. Maybe he gave in because he didn't want to upset her.
And that was how the rest of the day was spent, shopping, laughing and retelling memories from when they were a Titan. It was enchanting, Jon wished the day wouldn't end. She seemed so happy.
But as each day has a sunrise and a sunset, now the time when the sun was preparing to go to sleep has come. A sign that the day Jon didn't want to end is coming to its conclusion.
"Should I walk you back somewhere?" Jon offered as he looked at the sky. Raven looked up, thinking that it would take a couple more hours for the sun to really set and she seemed pensive, like she didn't want to leave.
"How about we take a slow walk back to the park by the lake?" Raven offered and he looked at her with furrowed brows. Raven looked sad and it made his heart ache again.
"Alright." He softly agreed. "How about I hold onto all your bags this time."
Raven glanced at the shopping bags she was holding, faintly smiled and offered her bags to Jon.
"If you don't mind then." She agreed quietly, her expression seemingly looking sad and happy at the same time.
"You've been holding them for hours, of course I don't." Jon replied as he took all her bags. "Are you sure Damian won't mind all these purchases?"
She laughed, "Of course not."
So they quietly walked towards the park and after fifteen minutes of silence Jon tapped Raven's shoulder.
"Raven, is everything really okay?" He asked in a quiet voice and she looked up at him with a polite smile but did not reply. He felt that he shouldn't push the matter, so instead he tried to comfort her.
"I'm glad that you seemed to enjoy today a lot." He added just quietly as he looked ahead.
"I really did enjoy today Jon, thank you." Raven replied almost as quietly as he was talking. She looked reluctant and then eventually added, "I know you are worried about me and it means a lot that you are, but I promise you, I am alright."
Jon nodded and they walked in silence for a moment and then eventually talked about how the other Titans are doing. The happy conversation they had earlier that day as they shopped was now replaced with a quiet and solemn tone.
"There isn't anything life threatening that is about to happen though, right-Jon?" Raven inquired almost as if she didn't want to and all Jon could do was sharply inhale. He couldn't tell her the greater details if there was because that information can't be given to her. He would be breaking the rules of the Justice League.
He opened his mouth and she added, "I know you can't say anything, I just-" She shook her head as she decided to keep her silence.
"There isn't any, from what I know." Jon decided to say. It felt as though he could hear her pain from the silence that followed and she nodded. He couldn't comfort her, Jon had been feeling as if a storm was churning for a while now.
Before they knew it they were by the bench facing the lake, the same bench Raven was sitting on when they met earlier that day. But what he said was true, he wasn't aware of an earth threatening issue.
"You really like this spot." A random remark on Jon's part and Raven went around to sit on the wooden bench.
"Why don't we sit for a while and enjoy the sunset." Raven offered half-heartedly. Jon thought that maybe she didn't want to return to an empty apartment and it made sense. He silently sat down beside her with pressed lips to hold in the words he knew he shouldn't say.
The sun was finally setting and they had a great view of it. It was almost like the lake was going to eat the sun. The yellow hue of the sun rays was blanketing everything it touched with the various yellow shades and touches of orange and the smallest hints of red.
Jon turned to look at Raven who was looking ahead seemingly lost in thought as she stared at the orange waters of the lake. He couldn't help but sigh, his eyes glued to her blank and emotionless expression. It was like he wasn't even there, and something clicked in his mind.
Something was wrong.
Jon looked ahead and down on his lap. What was wrong, and since when? He tried to remember how Raven was before, since he met her up to now. What has changed?
What felt like an hour passed wherein both were lost in their own thoughts when they came to, the sun was halfway hidden by the lake.
"I think it's time for me to go." Raven said as she stood up quietly with knitted brows, and Jon looked at her with wide eyes, he blinked and then sighed as he too stood up with a faint smile.
"Yeah, of course." He said gathering her bags that were by his side and then handed them over to her. "Here are your bags, Rae."
She smiled politely and gave a small thanks as she accepted them. They stood still as if not wanting to leave and then Raven sighed. Jon thought she was going to leave and he found himself grabbing her wrist suddenly. He looked at her equally as shocked as she was looking at him.
"Raven, are you and Damian okay?" He asked, Raven and Damian were a couple he thought would stand the test of time. If they didn't end up together, then he'd feel that a happy ever after with someone he loves might not be possible, that was how much faith he had in the two of them. But these words were long overdue, these were words he never wanted to say aloud but had also doubted for two years in the deepest and darkest corner of his heart was finally out.
Raven's eyes shakily looked up at Jon and he could hear her slow breathing like loud church bells in his ears.
"If there is anything wrong with you two, you know you can talk to Damian." Jon added firmly, the slowness in her reaction made him anxious.
Her lips parted and then, "Raven!" The familiar voice of his best friend came ringing clearly in his eardrums. Jon saw how her face clearly shifted from sadness to disbelief at the voice she heard. Her head turned to her left and that action alone made him see how her disbelief was quickly changed to relief and happiness- a happiness that seemed fake to him.
It was what she had been showing everyone for the last two years and more importantly, with careful crafting and accommodation towards Damian, Jon recognized that steady heartbeat and breathing.
Everything seemed to make sense now, the wrist he held slipped away from his grasp. The bags she was holding fell to the ground lightly.
The water's behind the two glittered brightly and Raven running opposite from the gleam of the waters was something that seemed almost ironic. It was like she was walking out of possible happiness and away from the warmth of the golden rays of the sun. The waters were blinding but Raven was not the same person she was two years ago, this Jon knew for certain now.
Jon turned his head to the right and watched Raven run happily towards his best friend, Damian. Damian stood meters away from them far enough that it made sense that Damian had to yell. Raven embraced him and the two stumbled a little and laughed. Jon picked up her shopping bags troubled and slowly walked towards the couple, his heart heavy with the revelation.
She was faking being alright all along and very carefully in front of Damian.
Raven looked even brighter before Damian than Jon had ever seen her, today and for the past years.
It was intentional, it was planned. She appeared brighter.
He continued to walk to the couple and it felt awfully slow and the steps felt extremely heavy. She didn't want Damian to worry so she pretended until it became painfully natural for her to do without thinking.
Jon was now clearly seeing her for how she has been living these past two years. It made his heart ache- like it was being clenched, and when his eyes flickered on Damian who looked at Raven tenderly, he felt his heart break. Jon was almost a meter away.
He had to tell Damian.
He had to tell him that he thinks that Raven was-
"Jon, hello." Damian said as he was welcomed with one arm out and letting go of Raven. "Thank you," Damian hugged Jon, "For taking care of Raven."
Jon hugged him back and squeezed his friend for a second, "Of course, always." He replied vacantly.
Jon wasn't sure what to do.
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Author's Notes:
Unexpectedly made it in Jon's POV.
Also, remember, I have planned this story till end.
