Welcome, one and all, to my first Elden Ring fanfic and the first fic I am crossposting on AO3. I won't bother you with any note here, there shall be some at the end of the chapter (if you want to check them out, that is).

Without further ado, please enjoy.

Disclaimer : I do not own Elden Ring in any way, shape or form.


"How many times has it been?"

Duck under swipe of the sword, jump back to avoid follow-up, bring up shield to protect against the explosion of golden light. Rush back in and strike before it can get away.

"How many days, weeks, months, years have come and gone since that moment?"

Throw a lightning spear as it dives. Take a sip of crimson tears, only three left. Jump over the first horizontal wave of golden energy, slide under the second, sidestep the third, vertical, one, roll to dodge the- too slow! Sent flying by a hit of the sword.

"How long must this keep going?"

Call Torrent, circle around to avoid golden flames and charge in on its left side. Jump off Torrent on its back and stab down. It thrashes but the blade is stabbed deep in its flesh. Changes tactics, wings -or fins, not sure- flare and shine, spears of light manifesting from thin air. Jump down and use its body as cover against the spears, call upon the god-slaying black flame to shroud blade and strike!

"What does it take for this world to be fixed?"

It's sent back reeling. Palm seal in left hand and channel energy to bring down Ancient Dragon Lightning onto it. Not enough, it still stands. Dodge backward to avoid the golden nebula of exploding stars, it swims away and soars into the air, its entire form shining as golden circles made of Runes appear on the ground. Summon Torrent again to avoid the pillar of golden light that erupts from the epicenter as the rings converge.

"Haven't I done what was asked, demanded, of me? What more must I do? Why isn't it enough?"

Switch Godslayer sword for Bolt of Gransax, imbue it with draconic lightning and throw! Direct hit. Its sword flares with golden fire as it swings erratically, trying to kill that which has hurt it. That which would defy its master. Close in and stab spear into already injured portion of the body. Pull the weapon out and thrust left hand into wound. The Flame of the Fell God surges. Its form bucks with a wordless cry of agony and, at last, goes still before dispersing like ashes in the wind.

"How many times must I watch her throw her life away?"

It was over. The Elden Beast was slain... once more.

Wearily, The Tarnished put away her weapons as the Elden Beast's domain disappeared and she found herself back inside the Erdtree, the broken form of the being that was once Marika and Radagon kneeling in front of her, their head separated from the whole and laying on the ground.

Aerfen removed her helmet, one she'd pilfered a long time ago from one of the banished knights in Stormveil, with a sigh and sat down, raking a gauntlet-clad hand through sweaty dark blonde locks.

"...I tire of this." She muttered quietly, hazel eyes closing in exhaustion. There is only so much a soul can bear before it breaks and Aerfen feared she was already past that point. "Haven't I done all that I could already? Haven't I earned my rest?" She asks the emptiness around her, receiving no response. "Even now, I do not understand why."

Why did Marika shatter the Elden Ring, only for Radagon to try to reforge it? Why did the Night of the Black Knives happen? Why did the Demigods, rather than repair the Ring, fracture it even further by taking a Great Rune for themselves before going to war with one another? Why, if the Tarnished were granted Grace once more to fix this mess, did the Greater Will close off the Edtree, making it inaccessible unless one was willing to commit a Cardinal Sin? Why did it have to be her?

Why, why, why.

So many questions unanswered, so many mysteries unsolved and the ones who might be able to answer either dead or hidden. For all his knowledge, Gideon would remain cryptic until the very end, revealing only that which benefited him to reveal, and Ranni would flat out refuse to answer her questions, which in turn would make both Iiji and Blaidd very reluctant to share anything without their Lady's permission. The less said about Seluvis the better.

The fact that Black Knives Assassins, Ranni's partners in crime, had been sent after both of them once she was gone didn't help to paint a favorable picture of the former Empyrean's motives.

It was, to say the least, rather frustrating and made Aerfen feel like a puppet dancing on strings for play where only the audience knew the script.

Taking a deep breath, Aerfen stood up, taking Marika's head in her hands as she did, and approached the headless body of the Queen. Gently, like putting the pieces of a broken vase back together, she put the head in its rightful place and took a step back.

It didn't take long. Motes of light started to float from the cracks and fissures covering the body of the Eternal Queen and the Elden Ring shone from inside, visible through the missing half of Marika's torso. Aerfen felt the Runes withing herself stir in response as, one by one, they left her body to merge with the Ring. First Morgott's, then Godrick's, followed by Rahdan's, Malenia's, Rykard's and, lastly, the Unborn's.

As the Ring mended itself, Aerfen considered her options. She could feel the Rune of Death stirring within, ready for her to call upon it to rejoin the whole it had been a part of before the Golden Order.

The first time she had been here, she'd only held three Great Runes. Godrick's, Morgott's, and the Unborn's. The Elden Ring has been mended and the world's Order restored to a more stable state. Yet... nothing had changed, not really. Her becoming Elden Lord had not magically fixed the broken mess that was the Lands Between. There had still been a lot to be done but she'd been hopeful.

And then, from the depths of Mount Gelmir, Rykard and his army of man-serpents and Recusants had emerged to challenge Aerfen's rule.

The battle had been fierce but the Lord of Blasphemy's forces had easily overwhelmed the meagre defenses she had been able to muster to protect what remained of Leyendell. The memory of being swallowed by the gargantuan Serpent the Demigod had become and slowly being digested in its stomach still haunted her nightmares.

When Aerfen had awoken again in the Chapel of Anticipation, it had taken hours before she had been able to even move, reduced to a sobbing, trembling mess as she had been.

She had, eventually, regained her composure and set out once again. It hadn't taken long for her to realize that she'd been sent back to the start of her journey. Neither Varré or Kalé had recognized her and the Tree Sentinel, that she had killed with no small amount of effort, had been patrolling Limgrave again.

After what could be described as a small mental breakdown, Aerfen had been ecstatic. She still had a chance! She could correct her mistakes and make sure she'd get it right this time!

What a fool she had been.

Her second attempt didn't end any better than the first. Even though she had made sure to infiltrate the Volcano Manor and slay Rykard before claming the seat of Elden Lord, a job made thankfully much easier by the Serpent Slaying spear she'd found in his chamber, that hadn't been the end of things. Within years, the Scarlet Rot, which had been until then confined to Caelid and the Lake of Rot, had spread into Limgrave and beyond, unstoppable. There had been reports of another outbreak, this one from the Forbidden Lands, and Aerfen had been forced into quarantining Limgrave and Liurnia both, eventually cutting the Altus Plateau from the rest of the Lands Between.

It was then that Malenia the Severed, the Blade of Miquella, had descended upon them on wings of Scarlet Rot, leaving naught but death and scarlet flowers in her wake. The Empyrean had been little more than a vessel for the Scarlet Rot at this point, her very flesh and blood rotting even as she spread more of her curse through the lands, joined by the Pests worshiping her. And though Aerfen had managed to put the mad newly ascended Goddess down, it had very much been a hollow victory as the Scarlet Aeonia that had bloomed from Malenia's corpse had consumed everything with Rot. Her only consolation was that she hadn't lived long enough to see the aftermath.

The third time had lasted significantly longer, in no small part due to the time it took Aerfen to track down Malenia's location and reaching her. Miquella had hidden his Haligtree well and its inhabitants were fierce in the defense of their safe haven. Malenia herself was, without a doubt, the strongest Demigod she had ever faced. Even blind and diminished, the Empyrean's swordsmanship was without peer and left little to no opening for Aerfen to strike. To think that Radahn had been able to fight her in her prime to a standstill until she'd resorted to using her curse, all the while holding the stars back... Atalyn would've very much liked to meet the General before he'd been reduced to a rabid beast by the Rot. Jerren had told her stories, of course, but even he had admitted that they did not do the Demigod justice.

With Malenia dead and the threat of another Scarlet Rot outbreak neutralized, Atalyn had once more taken her place as Elden Lord, confident that she'd dealt with all the problems that could prevent the Lands Between from healing of the damage inflicted upon them.

Of course, that was the moment that Mohg and his Bloody Fingers had chosen to enact their plan supplant the Elden Lord with their Dynasty of Blood. It had started slowly, one of the surviving Tarnished disappearing here, some supplies going missing there... by the time Aerfen had realized what was happening, it had been too late. Like a red tide, the Mohgwyn (as they called themselves) had surged across the Lands Between, growing stronger the more blood they spilled for their God. Still, Aerfen had given the bastards hell before going down and her cutting a path to Mohg's temple should have bought enough time for her allies to regroup and push back the invaders.

After waking for a fourth time in the Chapel of Anticipation, Aerfen had decided that she wouldn't take any chances. She'd blazed through the Lands Between, leaving a trail of flames, ashes and dead Shardbearers in her wake. Godrick, Radahn, Morgott and Malenia had fallen to her just as before and she had hunted down Mohg, thanks to knowing the location of his temple in the Eternal Cities, putting an end to his ambitions. What he'd done to Miquella had only made her angrier and she heavily suspected that, if not for him, the Empyrean would've healed the Lands Between better than any Tarnished becoming the Elden Lord could. Killing him had been more of a mercy than anything else, even if it had left naught but a bitter taste in her mouth.

Neither Rennala nor Ranni had been spared from Aerfen's crusade. Raya Lucaria had been burned to the ground and the Queen of the Full Moon with it. Killing Blaidd and Iiji had been a regrettable necessity, though the same couldn't be said about Seluvis, and Ranni had cursed her even as black fire had devoured the doll she inhabited and her soul along with it. With the last of the Demigods dead, Aerfen had moved on to other threats, namely the Ancient Dragons and the Star Beasts. All of which she hunted down to the last. Dragonlord Placidusax, even missing two heads and still greatly wounded from the fight that had forced him to seek refuge outside of time, had been a formidable foe, even mightier than the Elden Beast in her opinion, but he had fallen to her blade just the same, as had Astel the Naturalborn of the Void. Claiming the title of Elden Lord once more had felt almost trivial after that.

The Second Coming of the Gloam-Eyed Queen, that was what they'd taken to calling her in that timeline. Never mind the fact that she'd also killed all the Godslaying apostles and nobles she'd found with extreme prejudice.

That should've been the end of it. With all the possible threats to the Lands Between eliminated, Aerfen had set her mind to fix the realm once more and had actually succeeded. Slowly but surely, the world and its inhabitants had healed, the scars of the Shattering fading away. A new Leyendell had been constructed on top of the old one, buried under a mountain of ashes as it had been, Raya Lucaria and its surrounding town had been rebuilt from the ground up, the great bridges repaired... Efforts had even been made to start colonizing the Forbidden Lands and purify both Caelid and the Haligtree of the Scarlet Rot. Aerfen had found the research notes on unalloyed gold left by Miquella and known the Empyrean had been onto something.

And then, after going to sleep one night, she'd awoken in the Chapel of Anticipation. To say Aerfen had been apoplectic with rage would be an understatement. She didn't even care if and how she'd died, decades of peace and rebuilding had been undone, just like that! As if someone had snapped their fingers! Even now, her heart ached like a wound left untreated at the memory of what had been lost.

It was at this point that the number of timelines she'd gone through blurred in her mind. Again, again, and again she'd thrown herself at enemies she'd already defeated, cutting down all that stood against her. Many more times had she ascended to the throne of Elden Lord, fixing the Lands Between better and faster each time, only to have it all ripped away from her for no apparent reason. No matter how many precautions Aerfen took, no matter what she did, she'd inevitably be sent back to the Chapel at some point during her rule.

It was maddening.

Only Torrent's constant presence, for she knew he also remembered the timelines somehow, prevented her from going completely off the deep end. Without him, Aerfen would have given up a long time ago and, as Varré so eloquently put it, gone and died in a ditch somewhere.

As time went on, doubt started to creep in her mind. What if she simply wasn't meant to become Elden Lord? But if not her, then who? Gideon? Godfrey -or, rather- Hoarah Loux? One of the Shardbearers? Another of her fellow Tarnished of no renown? The more she'd thought about it, the less sure she became of her destiny, of her part to play.

So Aerfen had sat back, watched and listened.

The first, and somewhat painful, thing she had realized what there were... so little of her kind who still followed the path of Lordship. Some Tarnished had lost the Guidance of Grace again for many a reason, others' maiden had been killed, courtesy of the Bloody Fingers, and so had no way of getting strong enough for the challenges ahead, and others still had willingly walked away, disillusioned with the Greater Will or simply unwilling to answer the Call, becoming vagabonds if they didn't end up joining the Volcano Manor or the Bloody Fingers.

And then there were those who died and never rose again.

Morgott, in his guise of Margit, was actually the main reason for that. The Omen King was a skilled warrior, even when holding himself back, and knew that most Tarnished would aim for the weakest of the remaining Shardbearers first : Godrick. By putting himself between Aerfen's kind and their prey, he could effectively cull the Tarnished population before they could get strong enough to pose a real threat and, indeed, many had died a final death to a wooden staff or a weapon made of light.

Aerfen had known she was the last in a long line of Tarnished to be granted the guidance of Grace and brought back to life, but to think there had been so many before her and only Vyke the Dragonspear had come close to becoming Elden Lord was... she still wasn't sure what to think of it. It certainly explained some of Gideon's cold attitude, if he'd seen so many of their kind come through Roundtable Hold only for them to fail at every turn. Didn't make him any less of an insufferable pompous bastard though.

Hewg's "I took you for dead", whenever she came back after leaving the Hold for an extended period of time, took a whole new meaning too. The smith had probably seen hundreds of Tarnished come to him for work on their own equipment or to commission something only to never come back.

The more she had watched, had listened, the more Aerfen had come to understand that the people of the Lands Between had given up. With the Shattering ending without a victor and the single Tarnished strong enough to claim two Great Runes being unable to enter the Erdtree, most of those who were still sane had made their peace with the state of things, had accepted this broken world to be their lot in life.

Eventually, Aerfen herself had lost the Guidance of Grace in that timeline, passive as she had chosen to be in her duty. Melina had, somewhat understandably, considered their accord to be null and void but... It had hurt, seeing the other woman leave with a disappointed look in her eye. Aerfen had wanted to tell Melina the truth. About her inaction, about the timelines, about everything. In the end, she hadn't been able to. This was her burden to bear and telling Melina meant nothing if she wouldn't remember anything the next reset.

No longer welcome at the Roundtable Hold after losing sight of Grace, Aerfen had wandered around Ligrave and the Weeping Peninsula for a while, occasionally joining another Tarnished, a ronin (whatever that meant) called Yura in his hunt against Blood Fingers, until she'd chanced upon one Kenneth Haight loudly clamoring for someone to grant him aid.

Said aid had consisted of retaking a fort, aptly named Fort Haight, from the soldiers of Godrick who had seized it. A hard task for any ordinary Tarnished, certainly, but Aerfen had faced worse odds than a company of soldiers holding a fort and had dispatched them in short order, though she had admittedly been somewhat surprised by their leader, a knight who could use blood to extend the reach of his blade for but a moment.

Impressed with her skill, Kenneth had asked Aerfen if she was willing to enter his service and, with nowhere to go, she had accepted. The noble had then tasked her with guarding Fort Haight while he'd gone on a search for a worthy heir to Limgrave's throne.

Before long, he had come back with news that Hoarah Loux -Godfrey- had killed Godrick, taking his Great Rune before heading for Caelid. The spectacle of a myriad of shooting stars, complete with one crashing into the Mistwoods with a tremendous impact, a few days later confirmed that he'd also killed Radahn.

From what she'd later learn, Morgott had welcomed Godfrey into Leyendell with open arms, celebrating the return of the First Elden Lord and all but giving him his Great Rune on a silver platter.

Things had changed quickly after that.

The Erdtree had burned and Godfrey had mended the Elden Ring before taking his throne once more, with Gideon as his advisor and Morgott as General of his armies. He'd tried to restore things to the way they used to be before the Shattering and the people had been all for it. Of course, Godfrey had also faced the same problems Aerfen had dealt with in other timelines. Rykard and his Recusants had been utterly crushed beneath his heel, as had been Mohg and his Bloody Fingers. Malenia, Aerfen had taken care of once Leyendell was no longer sealed, sneaking off to the Haligtree to assassinate the Empyrean.

The Lands Between had been healing under Godfrey and Aerfren herself had been, if not happy, at least content as a knight of Stormveil, serving under its new Lady, Nepheli Loux (and hadn't that been a surprise).

And then she'd been sent back. Again.

Aerfen had started trying for other options from that point onward. Getting another Tarnished or one of the few sane Shardbearers on the throne changed nothing. She had also once, much to her shame and disgust, joined the Bloody Fingers and helped the Mohgwyn Dinasty rise. Never again. And the less said about the Lands Between under the rule of Rykard the better.

Perhaps Gideon was right, after all. That none shall take the throne, for Marika -or, rather, the Greater Will she was the vessel of- wished to see the Lands Between and its people to struggle into eternity.

She'd tried to end it. To die a final death, but her soul was so used to dying and coming back that it was instinctual to her at this point to rise again from a site of Grace. And committing suicide by Maliketh had only served to send her back earlier than usual.

It would be an understatement to say that Aerfen was tired of this miserable existence. Tired of fighting, for it to be for nothing.

The words of Morgott rang in her mind."We are... we are all forsaken. None shall take the title of Elden Lord. Thy deeds shall be met with failure, just as I."

She could certainly sympathize with the Omen King. He'd been granted Grace by the Greater Will and had worked tirelessly to protect Leyendell and the Erdtree, only to find his efforts worth nothing in the grand scheme of things. The Erdtree had also refused him, condemning Morgott to an eternal watch over the capital and eventually becoming a sacrifice for the future Elden Lord. After all, two Great Runes didn't make anything even resembling the Elden Ring. But with Morgott's Rune... with a third it certainly started to look more complete. The only conclusion Aerfen could come to was that the Greater Will had planned for him to die the very moment It had granted him Grace.

If the Greater Will could be so cruel to one who served It faithfully, she didn't want to know what it could do to its enemies... except she already did. After all, the Fire Giants had all been exterminated, save for one cursed by Marika to eternally tend to the Flame of Ruin.

Maybe this is what it was, a curse. One placed upon anyone who too the throne of Elden Lord. Marika seemed fond of eternal curses.

As the Elden Ring finished mending itself, the fractured shell of the Eternal Queen dissolving around it, Aerfen took a deep breath and rose, gray eyes narrowing in determination. With but a thought, she brought the Godslayer Greatsword into her hands and called upon Destined Death as black flames engulfed the blade. The black and white fire of the Gloam-Eyed Queen turned to a dark red, lined with white and golden hues.

"That which lives is destined to die." Aerfen intoned as she bought the blade down onto the Elden Ring. It hit a golden barrier, the Greater Will objecting to the destruction of its instrument to control the Lands Between.

"Every beginning has an end."

But the power of the God-slaying flame was anathema to the divine. It would not be denied. Cracks appeared on the barrier. Aerfen swung the blade again and again, the cracks multiplying.

"All that exists must one day return to nothing."

The barrier broke under one more swing, the blade continuing its path and hitting the Elden Ring. A sound akin to that of a gong rang out, shaking Aerfen to her very bones. Yet, she held firm.

"All things, great and small, die!"

With a war cry, the sword pierced the Elden Ring.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

The flames flared, consuming the Great Runes and another pulse of power rang. Aerfen spat out the blood pooling in her throat. Though she could feel her body breaking, she would not falter. She. Would. Not!

She had made her decision. The Elden Ring had to disappear. Not just be broken or shattered into individual Great Runes, but completely destroyed. It was the root cause of all that had happened to the Lands Between, good or bad, and the reason why outer Gods such as the Greater Will or the Formless Mother took interest in them. And so Aerfen would remove that which drew the gazes of those beings to this world. A clean slate, a fresh start for the Lands Between and beyond the Fog. And maybe, just maybe... it would prove to be her final end. She would be free.

"Let the natural order of things be restored. No more eternal life, no more rebirth, no more life within death."

The flames flared once more and, with one more earth-shattering pulse of power, the Elden Ring was gone, devoured by Destined Death. Aerfen felt the sword slipping through her fingers as she collapsed face first on the ground, her vision growing darker with each second as pain wracks her body.

"No... more..."


When Aerfen felt her consciousness stir, the first thing she felt was crushing disappointment. She was still alive, somehow. Her last gamble hadn't worked. For a moment she just laid there, letting the emotions wash over her as tears of frustration slid past her closed eyelids. Then, she sat up and, wiping her tears away with one hand, opened her eyes.

Yet it was not the sight of the Chapel of Anticipation that greeted her. Nor was it the platform inside the Erdtree where she had been before destroying the Elden Ring. This was...

"The Roundtable Hold...?" Aerfen breathed out, utterly confused.

"Aerfen? Is that you?"

The Tarnished whipped around, hazel eyes coming to rest on a blonde figure standing in the entry to the west hallway.

"Roderika?" She blinked. "What happened?"

"I was hoping you'd know." The spirit tuner replied, looking around nervously. "I felt the Roundtable tremble. For a moment, it seemed as if it was seconds away from falling on my and Master Hewg's heads. Yet it has suddenly stopped and now... the flames are gone too."

Indeed, Aerfen noticed, the Hold wasn't smoldering anymore. But that couldn't be. The Hold was linked to the Erdtree in a metaphysical sense. And with the Elden Ring destroyed, there was no way the tree wasn't still burning unless...

"I, for one would also like to know what happened." A wizened voice said and both women turned to see Enia, the Finger Reader, slowly making her way down the stairs leading to the Two Fingers' room, leaning on her staff all the while. "The Fingers are gone and I am fairly certain that I should be dead. Yet..."

"Something's not right." Hewg finished as he made his presence known, taking a few steps forward to stand beside Roderika. "I was fading, I felt it in my bones. But my mind has been restored. My Lord, Aerfen... what did you do?" The misbegotten smith asked, looking at her.

Aerfen froze, gazing at Hewg with wide eyes, as did the rest of them (though Enia didn't have eyes anymore, she seemed to be looking at Hewg just as intensely). "...What did you just call me?" The Tarnished whispered.

"My Lord," Hewg repeated and she felt a shiver as the words resonated with her soul. "for that is what you are."

"Truly?" Enia hummed, turning to Aerfen. "Would you show me your fingers, dear?"

"I would not." Aerfen denied, shaking her head. "Nothing good has come of a Finger Maiden reading mine for a long time. You'll probably go just as insane as them." She elaborated, seeing Enia's frown.

Ever since the first reset, any Finger Maiden who'd tried to read her fingers had gone mad, as if they had glimpsed some kind of truth their mind couldn't comprehend. Aerfen had ended up putting the poor old crones out of their misery.

"Then would you please explain?" Roderika interjected. "Surely you have some idea of what happened."

"I..." Aerfen licked suddenly dry lips. "I don't know, not for sure." Hazel eyes narrowed and she clenched her fists as she rose to her feet. "But rest assured I intend to find out. Has anyone-"

"I would like to know the meaning of this as well, old friend."

Aerfen felt as if her blood had turned to ice at the sound of that voice. Jerkily, as if her body couldn't quite respond to her will, she turned. Almost afraid that her mind was once more playing tricks on her.

But there she was, in her usual traveling attire with its hood down, slowly stepping into the room from the doorway that led to the balcony surveying the Roundtable Hold's great hall.

"Melina..." Aerfen breathed, voice cracking.

"I burned. I burned so that the Erdtree would also burn. So that you would take the throne." Aerfen's Maiden in all but title said, her brow furrowed in confusion. "But here I am, still living despite it all. What-"

Melina was cut off as, in a single movement so fast she might as well have used the Bloodhound Step, Aerfen crossed the room and gathered the other woman in a tight hug, burying her face in the crook of Melina's neck.

"You're here. By the Gods, you're here." She half-sobbed as Melina hesitantly returned the hug, her surprise almost tangible.

In that moment, Aerfen didn't care if she'd been sent back once again, if all her efforts had been for nothing. There were other people with her who remembered. More importantly, Melina remembered.

Even if the world was the same again, everything had changed. And Aerfen welcomed it.


First off, yes, I know you cannot summon Torrent during the Elden Beast fight. Yet I felt it appropriate, so I incorporated it.

Secondly, in case this wasn't clear enough, Aerfen (the Tarnished) has never done a "100% playthrough", shall we say. In each timeline where she becomes Elden Lord, her goal always is to accomplish that objective as fast as possible and deal with future threats as she does. Which means she didn't explore every inch of the Lands Between, didn't meet all the side characters and didn't follow certain questlines. So there's quite a bit she's unaware of.

Anyway, that's a wrap for this first chapter. If you enjoyed, don't hesitate to leave a kudo, a review or subscribe... I wonder if this how youtubers feel like.

I accept every kind of review aside from baseless flaming.

This MidnightFenrir, signing out.