Mario and Luigi were one step away from the dangerous crypt known as "Quarantomb". They were more than confident to fight the beast within, The Ragin' Contagion. They entered the tomb as a strange purple mist filled the room.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Luigi asked.

"It's fine," Mario said. "You'll be alright."

"I don't like it…" Luigi warned. He wasn't quite sure if he was right or wrong. After all, what could go wrong?

"It's just a bunch of bugs! They're not going to hurt us!" Mario continued.

The two heroes entered the crypt without hesitation. A few moments later, they arrived at the bottom of a long stairway. A door stood before them. Both doors were locked. A loud banging came from behind them. It startled both Mario and Luigi.

"What the hell is that?" Luigi asked.

"Let me check!" Mario replied.

He turned around to see a large snake wrapped around a statue. It had three heads and red eyes. It slithered toward him.

"Get out of here!" Mario shouted at the snake. He charged a fireball and directed it towards the snake. It seemingly did nothing other than anger it.

"That's no ordinary snake!" Luigi warned.

"No shit!" Mario yelled. "We need something else to take that thing out!"

As if summoned by his comment, a giant spider appeared out of nowhere. It crawled up the wall and perched on top. Its body was covered in yellow fur. Its legs were tiny, but strong. It latched onto the snake and the two beasts began to scuffle.

Mario and Luigi tiptoed past the beasts swiftly to press further down the crypt. They finally reached a room with a large hole in the floor. A gigantic shadow was climbing its way up from the dungeon below. It was the size of a building.

"Shit! How are we going to take this thing down?!"

"Wait... " Luigi looked closer at the creature.

The dragon was actually just a Koopa behind a giant magnifying glass. Actually, this wasn't a magnifying glass at all. It was actually just a huge Koopa behind a rock that looked like a magnifying glass!

"Oh my gosh! Is that a Koopa!?" Luigi cried.

"Yeah… " Mario agreed.

"Why would someone make such a thing?" Luigi wondered.

"Well… It's probably for some sort of experiment…" Mario snickered.

The Koopa frowned and scoffed at them, waving them away while he returned to his hole. The Mario brothers were at a gigantic door. It oddly resembled a barn door. They curiously pushed on it. The door didn't budge an inch.

"This sonava gun is heavy! If only I have a big mushroom…" Mario said looking at Luigi as if he were going to have an answer.

"Mario, I only packed regular shrooms and 1-ups." Said Luigi. "I mean, I think a toad might have thrown a frog suit or two in here…"

"Luigi that's fucking stupid." Said Mairo. "Whatever, you're the smart one. Probably best we didn't."

Luigi was flattered by this comment, but quickly turned frightened as some purple mist around him formed into a face. It seemingly laughed at him. Luigi jumped into his brothers arms.

Mario rolled his eyes.. "Might be smarty pants, but you're also a scaredy cat."

"Mario! I think the door is opening!" Said Luigi

The door slowly crept open, leaking out purple mist and a small gust of wind.

A head popped out of the door, followed by two more. It was a large Koopa wearing a blue cowboy hat. They all wore cowboy vests and boots.

The one in the front said. "Welcome to Quarantomb."

A piano played from behind the darkness. It played ragtime music. More specifically, Maple Leaf Rag. A spotlight revealed a gaseous creature at the top of the stairs. He tipped his cowboy hat and slowly walked down the stairs, whistling along to the tune. He pulled out a cane and twirled it around joyfully. Mario and Luigi were bopping along to the music.

A very thick southern voice boomed through the crypt. "That's the spirit! Mario and Luigi! HAHA! Ya'll some me some lively folk like they say down in the Hades Bar. But, somethin' ain't really tickin' me funny here. Why is that some fine looking young blonde lady shook her sweet dairy air down to my tomb just to tell me I'm in some United Gainer Asswashin' type dingy?"

The two brothers got into a fighting stance. The two brothers cracked their knuckles in unison and stretched their legs.

"How rude of y'all! Won't even let me offer you a sasparilla before gettin' fistacuffs with lil' ole me. You two don't seem to wanna back down. Alright alright. Turn off the music."

The music came to a halt. The Koopa's kept their gaze on the brothers. The koopa's skin slowly melted off and revealed they were actually drybones. That's how that works. Yeah.

"Are you two ready to fight me…? I, the great and mighty…

Ragin' Contagion?"

The smoke cleared and as if a vacuum was turned on, it was being sucked back into Ragin' Contagion. He formed tentacles and whipped them at the brothers feet. They leaped back in response and Mario pulled out his beam katana. Luigi pulled out his trusty plunger. A wave of dark energy swiped across the field as Ragin' Contagion screamed out his battle cry.

"Wakka wakka!" He swung his tentacles at the two of them again but they dodged it by inches. The ground rumbled under their feet and a massive tentacle shot up from the ground. It wrapped around both Mario and Luigi's ankles and yanked them towards him.

He opened his gaping mouth and began to suck in the air by the boys. The brothers had a harder time breathing, it wasn't from the grip Ragin' had on them, it was from the oxygen leaving the room. Ragin' was not letting down, he was going to suffocate the two. It felt as if it was going to be the last breath they inhaled.

"Good thing you two are already in a crypt! Saves a lot of money on gas gettin' y'all here!"

Mario felt light headed, on the verge of passing out. He looked over to see Luigi unfazed. Ragin' was confused. Luigi's gaze did not let off Ragin'. The stare felt like daggers piercing Ragin'. Despite being made entirely of gas, he felt as if his heart skipped a beat. He quickly let the brothers go in a slight panic. They fell to the ground, Mario head first. Luigi fell perfectly on his feet.

"There isn't a single bit o' air left in this crypt. How are ya still-"

Mario headbutted Ragin's stomach, releasing all of the air trapped within his stomach. Mario took a deep breath and felt happy to be able to breathe again! He rushed over to Luigi who was standing still.

He waved his hand in front of Luigi, trying to grab his attention.

"You gotta be pippin' me.." Said Mario with a smirk.

Luigi had passed out already with his eyes open. Mario smacked Luigi a few times and shook him. Luigi grabbed his own head and waved his body back and forth in a daze. He received yet another smack from Mario and he shook his head, recovering from the daze. Luigi grabbed his plunger again and Mario pointed his beam katana at Ragin'.

They both charged at Ragin' Contagion. The two brothers slashed at him, but Ragin' was dodging them effortlessly. His head spun around and clamped down on them, preventing them from moving. Mario kicked Ragin' in the side of his head and it caused him to release them.

"Not so fast…" Ragin' Contagion said as he closed in on them.

He held out a hand and shot a dark sphere at them. Mario grabbed Luigi, pulling him to safety before the sphere exploded. Ragin' Contagion smiled and pointed his finger at them. A blade of black light shot out of his palm, slicing through the air and heading straight for the two brothers. It appeared to have cut them clean in half, but this was just their after images. Mario dodged the attack and ran back to Luigi. Luigi was being dragged away by the tentacles. He was falling down the stairs. He used his plumber's crack (His ass) to stop himself from crashing into the ground head first. He tossed his plunger to Mario, who managed to catch it midair.

Ragin' Contagion stared at them with a smile. "This is gettin' real exciting'" He said as he lit up a cigar and blew the smoke from the end.

The smoke rings set on fire and flew towards Mario. They jumped through the rings and threw the plunger directly on the forehead of Ragin'.

Ragin' looked up at the plunger sticking off his forehead. "What the-"

He tried to pull it off his face, but the plunger wouldn't budge.

"Well, that will do it…" Mario said.

He grabbed the plunger and pulled. Ragin' Contagion's head started to shrink. He kept tugging on the plunger and the suction kept pulling Ragin' in. He heard a slight whirring noise coming from down stairs. Luigi slowly walked up and held a small thermos with a hose attached to it. Ragin' followed the hose with his eyes and found it was attached to the plunger.

"E. Gadd makes some good stuff!" Said Luigi.

E. Gadd? EGAD!" Said Ragin' as he was sucked through the hose and into the thermos. Luigi quickly pulled the hose off and sealed the thermos shut. They had trapped Ragin' inside.

A coffin nearby shuffled. This caught the brothers' attention, they were still on guard just in case some of Ragin's minions were ready to try to free him. The coffin flung open to reveal a bandaged hand creep out. It gripped its fist in the air and the bandaged body slowly rose out of the coffin. It turned to Mario and Luigi and smiled.

It did a somersault in the air and revealed it was just Sylvia, covered in toilet paper. It really didn't cover much of her already naked body. You can just barely see her awesome pink nipples through the 2 ply paper! She winked at the two and pointed at the two with her hands as her boobs bounced boobingly. Majestically like two soft pillowy mountains being moved by two sexy giant women. Mario not once during this interaction took eye contact off of them. His jaw wide open and drool dripping like waterfalls to the ground. Mario had never seen boobs with booby before. Even Peach's pendulum missiles weren't this boobyingly round and perfect! Luigi rolled his eyes at Mario's behavior. Luigi shuffled to the side to avoid the drool puddle.

"Congratulations my favorite sexy mustached brothers! The Ragin' Contagion has been apprehended! That's kinda like death!" She giggled like a schoolgirl on a sugar rush.

Mario floated over to her like a cartoon character floated to a freshly baked apple pie. He leaned against her boobs and she pushed him to the ground, stomping him with the heel of her foot. Mario got back up and howled like a dog. He wagged his metaphorical tail.

Sylvia shrugged at Mario and giggled again. "You two are now ranked number 9 by the U.G.A! Ciao!" She said while waving goodbye and being carried away by two men dressed like bats.

The two brothers fell to the ground and rested, They had successfully sealed The Ragin' Contagion! They got back up on their feet and walked outside of the crypt.

Standing outside leaning against a rock with his hands resting in his coat pockets, Dr. Phlegming looked up at the night sky. He turned over to the two brothers and said, "I know why you two were here."

The Brothers froze for a moment.

Dr. Phlegming exhaled. "I know the eyes of a killer when I see them. You thought Catarrhina wouldn't tell me of her past? Well then, you are wrong. She told me everything. Even though I have my own dirty secrets, I couldn't judge a woman like her. I gave everything to hide her away from the likes of you. "

Both of the brothers held their heads down. Neither, knowing what to say.

"I'm not sure how the Mario Brothers managed to get into such a game, but I don't think you're all that bad. Of course, I still have my doubts about your motives, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. By the way, my wife isn't allergic to mushrooms. I figured I'd play coy to motivate you to clean up after me."

Dr. Phlegming pointed at the thermos. "I'll take that off your hands."

Luigi held the thermos tightly. "What do you mean, clean up?"

Dr. Phlegming held out his hand. "The Ragin' Contagion was my fault. My wife was sick long before that thing came to be. I'm still unsure what she had, but I tried everything in my power to cure her. When I say everything, I mean everything. Whatever voodoo magic I tapped into, only made it worse. The disease she carried manifested itself into a living thing. I sealed it away down here. At some point, it started to leak out and infect the village too.."

Dr. Phlegming became teary eyed. "I killed her… The curse was my fault."

Mario and Luigi walked past Dr. Phlegming without looking at him. Luigi paused for a moment and placed the thermos on the ground. Dr. Phlegming leaned down to pick it up and shook. He sobbed and wept.

"She was so beautiful…all I did was make it worse…" Dr. Phlegming fell to his held his chest tightly and wailed loudly. "I just wanted to help her!"

Mario and Luigi turned around and stared at each other.

"That's quite a story…" Said Luigi. "Not every story has a fairy tale end."

Dr. Phlegming regained his composure and got back up from the ground. He picked up the thermos and placed it in his coat pocket. He didn't utter a word, he walked away. The two parties didn't take a single look back at another. Two different tales, not meant to intertwine. Forced together by the thread of darkness.

Mario let out a green fart cloud.

To be continued!