After the events of the last chapter, Mario and Luigi let the train guide them to their new goal. While resting on the train, a rather cute Toad Waitress walked over to the two brothers. She asked them if they needed anything. Mario whispered something into her ear and she blushed. Mario slowly turned to Luigi, giving Luigi the widest grin he possibly could he then bopped his head forward and backwards, muttering "Giggity." Mario and the waitress entered the bathroom.
Luigi rolled his eyes and put in his headphones . He loaded up his favorite app on his Ipad, Angry Birds. He knew what Mario was up to. He was engaged to Peach, but he really didn't want to stop his brother. He'd rather him get caught and reaped what he would soon sow.
Mario and the Toad Waitress were still having sex when Luigi came back from his nap. He had been sleeping for about 2 minutes. The Toad Waitress was moaning loudly as Mario pounded away at her with his tongue sticking out like an animal.
"Oh Mario! Oh Mario!" said Toad Waitress. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
The door opened and a strange man saw his older brother pounding away at the Toad Waitress. He sorta looked like The Fonz and gave a thumbs up and say "ay". He proceeded to take pictures on his old flip phone. Luigi is even angrier than before. He just sat back down with his headphones on. Unable to concentrate on the hardest level, world 5-8.
Mario noticed that the Toad Waitress was getting close, so he sped up his thrusts. He then slammed into her hard, making her moan again. Mario pulled out, and the Toad Waitress gave a little scream. Mario got off the bed and grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself up.
"Thanks Mario," said Toad Waitress, wiping herself off.
Mario sat back down, still with his pants off and leaned back in his chair. The Toad Waitress walked over to Mario, to possibly hand him her number. However, a sniper bullet came from the train window, piercing the Toad Waitress's skull. Splattering her brain matters all over the brothers.
"Whoa," said Luigi, taking off his headphones. He looked over at Mario. "You know you're not supposed to have sex on trains, right?"
"I'm sorry Luigi." said Mario. "But she was pretty hot..."
"She was definitely hot. And it takes two people to make someone pregnant, so I think you're safe." Said The Fonz
"Yeah. Yeah. You're right." Said Mario.
Mario's phone started ringing. It was Peach.
"Oh no," groaned Mario, "The bitch is calling.". He ignored the call and let it ring.
Mario looked over to see the Toad Waitress on the ground. "Wait, did she just get shot?"
Luigi took his headphones out. "huh-"
Crashing through the window, holding a sniper rifle and pointed at Mario was none other than…Mega .
Yes, the one from Battle Network. Don't ask me how he's real right now…
"Actually, I'm using a CopyBot from Battle Network 6." He said. "Umm, this Mega Buster is just for show."
Then he took out a REAL gun this time, and took off his outfit to reveal…
"...Now I'm Bad Boxart Mega Man." He said with a gun. "Now hand over the power crystals, you two!"
Mario slowly put his pants back on. He stared into the gun's barrel, stricken with fear. At any given moment, this man could pull the trigger. Even if Luigi had a 1-up, he couldn't out speed a bullet this close.
"Now now, let's talk things out- First off, who are you? An assassin?" Said Mario.
Boxart Mega Man frowned. He pulled out a beer can and took a swig. "You know… you know who I am. I'm the guy who shoulda been in smash. Instead I get put in some shitty capcom x marvel or what ever. Am I joke? I was right next to a fucking lawyer!"
Luigi stood up from his chair. He approached with caution, trying to let Box Art Megaman know he isn't going to try anything funny. "Listen, I know how you feel. Trust me."
Box Art Megaman fired his gun and shot The Fonz in the shoulder. "NO YOU DON'T!"
"Ohhhh, you got me goood, ayyyy." Said a dying Fonz. Even in death, his thumbs down was a thumbs up. Then he died.
"Oh no! Youa killed da Fonz, now it personal!" Said Mario, grabbing a fire flower. From where, no one knows.
"Yeah, yeah. That's more like it, Mustache boys." Said Mega Man. "Prove that time wasn't a waste, just like Smash Bros…Now I get to SMASH 2 BROTHERS."
And so the fight began!...But it wasn't a very exciting one. Because Mega Man, um, Bad Boxart Mega Man specifically, was in terrible health, no doubt from the countless years of pounding Coors Lite and Pabst Blue. Needless to say, it was equal parts an embarrassing site and a painfully awkward one as he began to puke chunks.
"Umm, y'know…maybe we shouldn't do this." Luigi said shyly.
For once, Mario agreed with his brother. "Umm, yeah…I know I do some pretty messed up stuff, but killing someone in this state just feels…wrong."
"You don't understand!" Bad Boxart Man explained. "Don't you two dunderheads get it?! I'M RANK 8. You HAVE to kill me to move on! I can't keep going on living like this! The game only ends when you're out, now take that fire and burn my soul to the ground!"
Mario turned his head away and looked at Luigi. Luigi reached into his bag, exciting Bad Boxart Megaman. However, Luigi pulled his headphones out and put him on.
Mario tossed a poison mushroom at him. "Do it yourself."
Bad Boxart Megaman began to foam at the mouth in anger. "I CAN'T DO IT, IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK THAT WAY! SOMEONE ELSE WILL JUST TAKE MY PLACE, NOT YOU. IT NEEDS TO BE YOU."
Mario sighed. "I kind of don't care. I'll just tell Sylvia I forced the mushroom down your throat or something."
"They're always watching. They know what you're up to. I can't even get a decent shower in without seeing a glare." Bad Boxart Megaman fell to his knees. He placed the gun on the ground. "I'm asking you. Please. My family… they're in danger."
"What?" said Mario. "How?"
"If I'm out of the game, they are too." Said Bad Boxart Megman. "Me being in this game means people will try to come after my family to get to me. They killed my fucking brother. If i kill myself, my little niece who just learned to ride a bike will take my place. It's fucked up."
He slammed his own head to the ground over and over. "I want out.. I want out… I want out… "
Mario grit his teeth. "Did you also kill this Toad?"
Bad Boxart Megaman looked up. "You didn't…?"
Mario's face looked like he realized what was happening. There had to have been more than one person on the train coming to kill them, infact, what was Peach calling him about? Was she also in danger?
The train came to a halt as all the passengers evacuated the train to safety. The sun began to set as Mario and Luigi walked Bad Boxart Megaman far into the desert. Mario held the gun he was given tightly. He was gonna do it, he was going to put this man at ease. Mario pulled back the safety and pointed it at Bad Boxart Megaman's head.
"Thank you…" Said Bad Boxart Megaman. A clink could be heard. The Mario Brothers eye's widened as Luigi lept back. Bad Boxart Megaman stuck out his tongue and Mario let out a scream. An explosion covered Mario and Badboxart Megaman. Bad Boxart Megaman leaped into the air, unharmed and whistled. A sniper bullet shot near Luigi's foot, but thankfully he was able to dodge it.
A smoke cleared and It wasn't until the camera panned to his right side that viewers learned that half of Mario's face was blown off. However, he was fine after eating a mushroom.
The sniper leaped over, covered in a brown tarp, hiding their face. He kicked Luigi's stomach, but Luigi recovered quickly.
"Who the hell are you?" Said Luigi.
The individual stood there silently. He looked over to see Bad Boxart Megaman struggling to even run away from Mario. Mario proceeded to literally kick his ass. The sniper rested their gun on their shoulder. They took off their hood to reveal their face.
Luigi was completely gobsmacked. "Y-you…?"
The man was clearly wearing blue metallic armor. He clearly had cybernetic enhancements. He tossed aside his sniper to load a drill on his arm.
"My name is MegaMan Volnutt." Said MegaMan Volnutt. "We poorly treated Megamans are working together. I'm the actual Rank 8. He's nothing but a red herring as you already figured that out."
Mario had just got done beating Bad Boxart Megaman to a literally frothy pulp. He stood next to Luigi.
"I didn't come with just him-" Volnutt said.
The ground shook as yet another mega man appeared. He said in a high pitched voice. "Ouroboros can wait, I, Vent Light will vanquish you two with the help of the actual ."
walked in with gold chains and a Ferrari. He wasn't driving it, he chose to push it. "Those ports paid for my chains dawgs."
Mega Man Star Force was unaccounted for, but then showed up as a Mii Fighter costume. "Oh yeah? I didn't even get my canned Star Force 4! Wanna know how many songs from my game made it into Ultimate? …One!"
Then Mega Man from Powered Up showed up. "Wait, you guys got representation in Smash?" He was looking a little crusty. "At least people owned a DS and GBA! You know what I was on? The PSP! Only weirdos even know what that is, like the Vita!"
"The what?" Said the flabbergasted Mario bros. Don't know which one.
"Exactly!" Said all the Mega Men in unison.
Then Axl showed up for some reason. "Wait, you're not even a Mega Man. What are you doing here?" Asked Mega Man 8, the Saturn version.
"Don't know, just seemed right, you know?" Axl laughed. "Besides, no one likes X7, so I got that going for me I guess!"
They all nodded, no one likes that game, not even Inafune.
"Wait, so who do we have to kill now?" Asked Mario, frustrated at the sudden inclusion of so many cameos to keep up with.
"Don't you get it?" Said Maverick Hunter X. His game was canceled.
"WE'RE ALL RANK 8!" They yelled like a rude Capcom fan boy.
All the mega men lined up single file. They all plugged their megabusters into one singular canon, which was plugged into Maverick Hunter X, the good megaman. They aimed it at the stunned Mario Bros who were still trying to process what happened. They couldn't move away in time, the blast would consume half the desert with all the power output. No amount of 1-up mushrooms or regular mushrooms can help them.
Mario smiled. "I guess you can take the last power star."
Luigi looked at Mario and shook his head. "You're the real power star, I'm always in the shadows. No one will miss me if I go."
Mario shook his head. "I'd miss you."
They both decided not to take the star and go out together, brothers in arms. A train horn could be heard in distance as all the megamen turned their heads to the left, when they should have turned to the right as the Toad Town train at full speed completely decimated them all as they were all lined up perfectly.
The Brothers looked at the train. Out from the conductors caboose or whatever you call it, came a very short and stubby man. He was overweight and rather unkempt looking.
"You might be the Mighty Mario Bros, but I'm.. Mightier! Mighty Number 9 is here! I know, my rank is 8. But I didn't know the dumb blue haired twink with the comb over was an assassin. What was his name? Er- uh, Mean-Ato? Besato? What ever."
Mighty Number 9 summoned his Persona he got, Mara. And this is where the real fight began…and oh boy, did it! Beck's underprogrammed ass started glitching so bad you would swear no one playtested the game he came from. "Oh shoot! This always happens, always!" Then he unceremoniously, glitched through the train and despawned himself. Much like Mighty No. 9, he was not missed.
A voice came on, "congratulations, new RANK 8!"
Dressed in a very tasteful Roll Caskett cosplay, was Sylvia. She was really trying to be sexy, as this was based off the one from the OG megaman. However, Mario for some reason was turned on by this. His ever growing lust for Syliva was ever growing.
However, Mario thoroughly drained his goomba's (his balls) earlier, so he rather not today.
The brothers hopped back onto the train, now unceremoniously Ranked 8 by the U.G.A, head off on yet another adventure. However, their tracks were stopped when the train conductor was found to be murdered. They would now have to travel on foot to see their next destination…
Persia.
To be continued!
