Disclaimer: This is a non-commercial work of fanfiction. Anything recognizable from Newsies belongs to Disney and not to me.
Chapter 129: A Providential Convergence
"Philip, Mrs. Kogan stopped by about half an hour ago and wanted to let you know that the sink in the first floor washroom is clogging up," Miriam informed her husband as he walked through the door. "I had Sadie run down and post a sign instructing the tenants to use the facilities on the second floor in the meantime, but we'll need to have the sink looked at as soon as possible."
"I'll get to it right away," Philip promised. He'd just come back from business in town and had several packages and the mail under his arm.
"I stopped by the confectionary on my way back," he announced, setting a paper bag down on the end table near the sitting area where his wife and daughters were gathered. "They have a sale going on right now with Valentine's Day coming up, so I thought I might as well take advantage of it."
Abby pounced on the paper bag.
"There's a packet of buttermints for Lilly, some chocolate truffles for Sadie, your favorite malted milk balls, and…" Philip reached into the bag along with his youngest daughter and pulled out a small parcel, "...peanut brittle for my lovely wife."
"Philip, that really wasn't necessary," Miriam objected as he presented her with the confection.
"Perhaps not," he smiled, "but I know you'll enjoy it, and that was incentive enough for me." He gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek. "I'll head downstairs and take a look at the sink, now. Oh - " he set the mail down next to the paper bag, " - and I believe there's a letter from Judith somewhere in that pile."
"Thank you, Papa!" This time it was Sadie's turn to eagerly pounce. She rifled quickly through the various missives and found her sister's letter, then carried it over to the writing desk so that she could open it, only pausing briefly to bid her father goodbye as he left to attend to his duties.
"I'm going to take Lilly to the bedroom for her nap now," Miriam announced, helping her second-oldest daughter to her feet. "Sadie, when you're done reading Judith's letter, would you please distribute the rest of the mail to the tenants? I suspect that your father is going to be busy with that sink for a while, and it will give him one less thing to do."
"Of course, Mama," Sadie promised.
"Where's my half of the letter?" Abby demanded around a mouthful of malted milk balls.
"Chew your food, please, Abigail," Miriam admonished over her shoulder as she and Lilly left the room.
Abby dutifully swallowed the candies, then plucked the proffered sheet of stationery out of her older sister's hand, retreating to one of the armchairs in the corner of the room to peruse the missive's contents in peace.
Sadie likewise unfolded her own part of the letter, smoothing out the sheet of paper as she began to read.
Dear Sadie,
I'm sure you're a bit surprised at my uncharacteristically quick response to your last letter, but I have some exciting news that I couldn't wait to tell you. It actually involves a few important disclosures, and while the latter is the one I'm most excited to share with you in particular, the former, by necessity, must be broached first, as it provides some rather necessary context. Without further preamble, then, the first:
You might have noticed my unusual fatigue and bouts of mild illness during our most recent visit to Manhattan and wondered why your normally-hearty oldest sister should be afflicted by such surprisingly poor health. Mama, I think, had her conjectures regarding my condition, but she didn't say anything, and it wasn't until this past week when I was able to visit a doctor that I confirmed what I had been suspecting -
"Judith's with child!" Abby burst out, before Sadie could read the disclosure for herself. "She's going to have a baby!"
The loudly-proclaimed announcement brought Miriam hurrying from the bedroom.
"Mama, Judith's going to have a baby!" Abby repeated. "You're going to be a grandma of three!"
"Lower your voice, Abigail," Miriam chided. "Lilly is trying to nap." But she was smiling, and Sadie could tell that the news of Judith's pregnancy pleased her.
"I had my suspicions," she confided, coming over to scan the letter that Abby was holding out, "but I wanted to let her and John find out for themselves." Her eyes skimmed the words on the page for another moment before she handed it back to Abby. "Your father will be thrilled. There's always risk involved, of course, so we must pray that the birth goes well, but Judith is strong and healthy, and I'll soon send some things to her for her confinement period."
Smiling at her mother's barely-subdued excitement, Sadie turned back to her own letter, reading through Judith's straightforward but blissful account of discovering the baby growing inside. It was a happy prospect, the thought of another little one joining their family, and Sadie was already thinking about what sweet tiny garments she might begin sewing for her newest niece or nephew.
And now to the second disclosure, her sister's letter continued, and that which I am very keen to share with you:
When I visited the doctor, I met a woman in the waiting room who is also expecting a child later this year. She was friendly and agreeable, and we got to chatting. I found out that she works at a place in Boston that houses a number of disabled men and women along with their families in a community home setting, smaller and more intimate than the institutions we're familiar with. Their aim is to provide support for the family members as well as their disabled loved ones, a much more comprehensive approach to care than what we've run across before. I thought of you immediately due to our conversation regarding your so-called "silly scheme" and your desire to create a place where families like ours could receive assistance and find community. I hope it is encouraging for you to hear that such places do exist, even if they're at present not as well known as the larger facilities.
Here, though, is the most exciting part: the woman that I spoke of said that she will be taking a leave of absence from her work at the community home once she enters confinement and for several months after that until her baby is older. Her supervisors will be looking to fill her position temporarily - perhaps for up to a year - and they desire to train someone who has an interest in possibly replicating their model of care at another site in the future. It could be a valuable opportunity for you to gain insight and experience into something that you've been dreaming about, and the timing would be ideal, as you've nearly finished the school term and might easily be relieved of your scholastic obligations. I'll admit that the thought of having you close by, even temporarily, could be playing into my eagerness to apprise you of this opening, but setting all that aside, I truly think this is a providential convergence.
In any case, I've procured the name of the community home and the contact information of the woman I spoke to at the doctor's office, so if you are interested in pursuing this opportunity further, please write to me at your earliest convenience, and I shall happily visit the facility in question to inquire about the interview process as well as the necessary qualifications for the position. Take as much time as you need to think the matter over, however, and consult with Papa and Mama as you see fit. I know it would be a significant challenge, but I do believe that you would rise to the occasion, and that if you were chosen for the job, you would fully grow into and capably discharge its responsibilities with flying colors.
I must conclude here if I'm to get this letter mailed out today, but I eagerly await your response and hope that, if nothing else, my discovery has given you confidence that the dreams you nurture (germinal and tender though they may be), are perhaps not as far off and unreachable as you suppose.
Your affectionate and proud oldest sister,
Judith
Sadie slowly folded up the letter, her mind awhirl with the possibilities painted by her sister's unexpected disclosure. She'd always wanted to visit Boston, but had never thought of settling there for any length of time, and to settle there under such circumstances! She found her heart beating a little faster at even the thought of it, and though a part of her was hesitant to get her hopes up, she couldn't quell the excitement that was growing inside.
Better to sit on the matter for now, though, she told herself. She didn't want to let her emotions run away with her, and needed more time to think. In the meantime, there was work to be done.
Tucking Judith's letter into the drawer where she kept her own implements of correspondence, Sadie rose from the desk, procuring the stack of mail that her father had brought home, and tucking it under her arm.
"I'm going to distribute the rest of the mail, Abby. It shouldn't take me more than half an hour, perhaps a bit more if I get to chatting with any of the tenants."
Her sister, still poring over her own letter from Judith, only nodded, and Sadie left the apartment, deciding to start her mail route on the first floor and then work her way back upstairs. To her surprise, when she reached the bottom of the flight, Les Jacobs was there, loitering around in a slightly oversized but still spiffy-looking suit with his trademark bowler brushed clean.
"You're looking dapper, Les!" Sadie exclaimed as she drew near.
"Well, good looks do run in the family," the boy boasted, preening as only a nine-year-old could.
"What's the occasion?" Sadie inquired, unable to stop herself from smiling at his antics.
Les looked even more puffed up than before. "I've got a date with my girl, Sally! We're celebrating Valentine's Day early, and I talked my brother into taking us to Lenzi's for ice cream after he gets back from his errands. He's even going to let us have our own table as long as we behave ourselves, and he said he'll just read until we're done."
"That's considerate of him," Sadie remarked.
Les nodded. "This is his old suit, too - Mom saved most of his clothes for me to grow into, so we found it in a box under the bed. It's a little big on me, but I told David that I had to impress my girl, so he let me wear it anyway." Suddenly giving Sadie a shrewd look, he added, "While we're on the subject...I actually have some questions I've been wanting to ask you."
"Questions?" Sadie echoed, thrown off by his suddenly business-like tone. "About what?"
"About my brother," came the answer. "I want to know what you think about him."
"What I...think about him? What exactly do you mean?"
"I mean, when you think about him, what comes to mind?" came the none-too-helpful elaboration.
"Well..." Sadie began slowly, "Your brother is intelligent. And thoughtful. And nice - "
The younger boy cut her off. "You do know that the word 'nice' originally meant 'stupid,' right? Are you sure you want to stay with that answer?"
"You know that's not what I meant, Les," Sadie chided, "and before I answer any further questions, I'd like to know your reason for posing them, first."
"I'm just doing some research." Les waved his hand dismissively. "Second question: What would you think if David decided to suddenly up and move to Antarctica?"
"I'd think it uncharacteristically adventurous of him," Sadie answered truthfully, "and a rather poorly-conceived idea, seeing as he's not too fond of the cold."
"So you wouldn't be sad if he just packed up and left one day, never to return?"
"Well, of course I'd be sad, Les. Wouldn't you?"
"But, I mean, would you be utterly devastated?" the boy pressed, ignoring her question. "Or just a little sad?"
"I suppose that would depend on his reason for leaving."
Les frowned, clearly dissatisfied with her answer. "Fine. Third question." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you think David's attractive?"
"You did just tell me that good looks run in your family," Sadie parried, fairly certain now of where this interrogation was heading. "I'm not sure why you'd need to solicit my opinion on the subject when you've already drawn your own conclusions."
"It was more of a general statement than anything else," Les clarified. "I don't think David's much to look at, but I've heard some of the older girls in class say that he's a tall drink of water, whatever that means - "
"And their good opinions ought to provide a more than adequate sample size for your research," Sadie interjected, curtailing the conversation. "I'm sorry, Les, but I need to be going now. I hope that you enjoy your date with Sally."
Giving the younger boy an apologetic smile, she turned away and continued down the hall, her hands absently re-arranging her stack of letters, even as her mind remained slightly flustered by her neighbor's line of inquiry.
She'd refrained from thinking about Davey as much as possible ever since he'd abruptly canceled their tutoring lessons over a week ago, and hadn't expected to have him thrust back into her consciousness again, courtesy of his little brother. Les, of course, was most certainly acting on his own initiative when it came to his probing questions (for she was sure that Davey would be mortified if he knew), but that didn't make his inquiry any less ill-timed or awkward.
Setting the thought aside, Sadie raised her hand to knock at the door of the first apartment, smiling politely and extending the letter addressed to the occupant when the man opened the door. Then she made her way down the hallway in a similar fashion, occasionally lingering to chat with a tenant she knew well or even briefly poking her head into an apartment to say hello to the rest of the family. She'd nearly completed all of her deliveries for the first floor, when she heard the sound of voices down the hallway, and looked up from the last of the mail to see that Davey had returned from his errands to pick up Les.
She hadn't meant to dawdle, but for some reason her footsteps slowed, and instead of heading directly to the next apartment, she paused in the middle of the corridor, unable to continue about her business.
She thought that she'd made peace with the fact that Davey had chosen to distance himself from her, accepting it as a matter of course and trying to move past the disappointment, but suddenly seeing him again made her realize that she wasn't as reconciled to their abrupt separation as she'd thought. He hadn't spoken to or even made eye contact with her yet, but just the sight of him standing there in the hallway was enough to make an unexpected longing well up inside, and she couldn't bring herself to look away.
Davey must have sensed her perusal, for he turned, momentarily ignoring his brother's excited chatter, and as he met her eye, Sadie felt herself blushing, torn between wanting him to see her and almost wishing that he hadn't.
For a moment, they simply looked at each other, too far away for conversation but too close for dismissal, separated only by the space of several feet, yet somehow an insurmountable distance apart...
Then, abruptly, Davey broke the impasse, giving Sadie a wincing smile before dropping his gaze and turning away to usher his brother down the hallway and out of sight.
Sadie sighed.
She'd seen that expression many times before on the faces of classmates and friends and neighbors, pained and in some cases pitying, but always guarded and wary once they'd discovered her secret and decided that she was not the kind of girl whose company was worth keeping anymore. It had always stung...but she hadn't expected her heart to ache so much when she saw that same look on Davey's face.
Blinking back the tears that suddenly threatened to spill from her eyes, Sadie glanced down at the mail in her hands, willing herself to complete her task.
There's no reason to cry, she told herself. This was going to happen eventually, and you knew that it was foolish to become attached.
Remembering her sister's letter, she tried to focus on the possibility that a fresh start could be on the horizon. It was still a far-fetched prospect in many ways, but even the thought of it lifted her spirits a little, and she held onto that hope as she finished distributing the rest of the mail, managing to complete the task without any more faltering.
By the time she got back to her own family's apartment, her mother was starting dinner and Lilly was reclining on the couch in the sitting area, already up after her nap.
"Did you hear the news, Lil?" Sadie asked, coming over to sit on the floor and rest her head on the couch next to her sister as she usually did. "Judith is going to have a baby! Caleb and Samuel will have a younger brother or sister, and we'll have a new niece or nephew!" She looked up at Lilly, trying to affect a cheerful demeanor.
"When is the baby coming?" the other girl asked, unusually responsive.
"We don't know exactly when," Sadie answered, "but probably sometime in the summer."
Lilly gave a stiff nod but didn't remark further on the subject, and Sadie was about to ask if she'd already eaten her usual after-nap snack, when the older girl suddenly asked, "Are you sad, Sae?"
Sadie blinked. It wasn't the first time that Lilly had picked up on one of her moods, but she thought that she'd been hiding her discomfiture better.
"I...suppose I am a bit sad, Lilly," she confessed, lowering her voice so that she wouldn't be overheard. "I've lost a friend, and even though I know it's the result of my own foolishness, it doesn't make the loss any easier to swallow. I'd thought about telling him everything myself at one point, but I was too afraid of forfeiting his good opinion, and wanted to hold on to the simplicity of our friendship for as long as I could…"
Dropping her gaze, she brushed a bit of lint from her skirt. "Anyway, it turned out to be a mistake. He found out another way, and now I've completely lost his regard and any chance I might have had of telling him the story on my own terms."
Letting out a sigh, she leaned her head against the couch again. "I didn't think that it would hurt this much, Lil," she murmured. "This isn't the first time someone's distanced themself from me, and I'm sure it won't be the last, but I cannot find it in myself to accept this loss with the composure that I normally possess. I had hoped - " she felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes again, and blinked them back. "I had hoped - unrealistically, I suppose - that somehow this could be different, that I was turning over a new leaf, and that this friendship might have been the start of leaving the past behind." She bit her lip. "But I was wrong."
Needing comfort, she reached up to take her older sister's hand as she continued, "A part of me knew that this was likely to happen, and I told myself not to become attached, but somewhere along the way, I did, and now…" she trailed off, her voice becoming a whisper.
"I miss him, Lil," she confessed. "I miss him, and it's only been a week. It's not as though I don't have other friends or other people in my life who make me happy, and there's absolutely no reason why I should feel so downcast...but I do. I wish that he would talk to me like he did before, that I could watch him come alive with a book in his hands or listen to him ramble about his day, that I could hear him say again that I was smart and capable and that he was proud of me, even though I could never hold a candle to his brilliance, and that I could see him smile and hear him laugh without that guarded, disappointed look on his face..."
She felt Lilly's fingers squeezing her hand, and at the gentle touch, a few tears began to fall.
"I know that I must live with the consequences of my past mistakes," Sadie finished, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her dress, "but this one is hard to take. And that is why I find myself uncharacteristically melancholy today." Another tear trickled down her cheek, but she pulled herself together and sat up, giving her sister a watery smile.
"Thank you, Lil," she said, pressing the other girl's hand. "I didn't mean to digress into sentimentality like that, but it was kind of you to notice my dejection." Shaking off what remained of her despondency as best as she could, she rose from her place on the floor, wiping the last of the droplets from her eyes and walking over to the writing desk where she'd left Judith's letter.
"Enough moping around from me," she declared with as much cheerfulness as she could muster. "On to more auspicious matters, namely that of answering our oldest sister's correspondence!" She pulled out a plain piece of letterhead and an envelope, willing herself not to tear up anew as she glimpsed the peach-colored stationery set sitting in the drawer nearby. "I plan to tell Ju of my eagerness to hear more about an opportunity that she's discovered in Boston, and shall happily add to my letter anything that you'd wish to say to her as well, Lil."
The older girl responded with a few short sentiments of the kind that normally made up her replies, and Sadie immediately immersed herself in the task of composing their letter, setting all other thoughts aside. There was nothing that she could do to change the past or to escape the fallout that continued to follow her like a shadow, but perhaps a change of scene and society could bring about a change in fortune...and a chance to finally start over again.
At the moment, she was willing to reach for anything - no matter how far off or far-fetched - that could give her a bit of hope.
A/N: Our poor girl is having a rough time of it. Please send all the virtual hugs and consoling pats on the back - she needs them right now. (And thank you for enduring yet another chapter of angst. I suppose it's not so bad when these chapters are coming out a month apart, but still…I appreciate you hanging in there).
If you're interested in seeing how Les and Sally's date goes, please check out "Catch as Catch Can" in Interstices. Said installment will also reveal a tiny facet of Sadie's backstory, so if that piques your interest, I hope you'll give it a read. In the meantime, I hope that this year has started off well for you, gracious readers! Thank you, as always, for sticking around. I look forward to continuing to share this story with you, and remain, until we meet again,
Your humble fictioneer and furnisher of verbosity,
Jean
