Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
'Bros before Koopas' (Chapter 2)
Disclaimer: Mario and co. belong to Nintendo
Luigi groggily leaned up in bed and stretched. He always woke a little early and this time it was even earlier. As expected he wasn't alone in the bedroom like the way the night started. Mario was tucked under his covers in his bed on the opposite side of the room and snoring despite the sleep mask. He was needing to wear it again lately. The younger brother lay back again until the alarm went off. A six AM it blared and Mario's arm shot out automatically to silence it. Luigi decided to get up for real when something loud buzzed on the nightstand next to the alarm. Mario's cellphone, a basic Yoshimobile identical to his own, rung. Luigi glanced at the caller id with pang of fear. No friend would call this early for a nice chat. It displayed only as the numbers, no name assigned, which implied more dire scenarios. Mario's number was used for emergencies as well around the Kingdom.
Luigi jumped to Mario's bed and shook him violently. "Brother, wake up!" He peeled off some of the covers, from his upper half at least. "Mario!"
'You have one new message.'*Beep*
Mario's eyelids slowly opened as the voicemail began to play:
"Hey pipes for brains, wake up call from 'You Know Who'! Bwa ha ha!" Loud orchestic music was in the background of the gravelly voice. "Friendly reminder for ya: we gotta win, or else! ...Oh and tell 'that person' I'll be looking my best just for her!"
Mario woke up a shudder. He rolled out the bed, searching around in the dark for the black phone on the black table.
"-Lastly. Umm, well. What's the recipe for that Couples Cake again?... You know, the one only friends eat together? *Mumbling noises heard*- Gramps, no this ain't him again- *mumbling noises* Listen, gotta go. Keep that touchscreen smokin'! See ya, plum- I mean 'loser'."
*Beep* 'End of message. You have no new messages.'
"Looking for this?" Luigi effortlessly located the phone and dropped it in his brother's lap. "Better check that 'unknown' caller."
Mario yawned, avoiding eye contact. "That was a spam call, trust me."
"Hmm?" Luigi reached over and tugged on the neon green medical bracelet showing under the long sleeve of Mario's red pajamas.
He scratched his head. "After the race see, I was locking the garage up and I got.. robbed..."
Luigi leaned back with a start. "What?"
"By a vending machine!" Mario winked. "Got ya!" He slapped Luigi on the back playfully as got up and began to leave the bedroom. "Oh, but then Bowser's crazy doomship driver knocked me out with the anchor and we're gonna have a thee thousand coin bill coming soon even though I was only in the ER for two hours and I mostly just sat in a room and the doctor spoke to me for five minutes.."
Luigi watched, jaw hanging open. "What again? That's- stop messing around!"
Later... "What is that thing?"
Luigi settled in his memory foam seat cushion. "One of your gifts. Found it underneath your CIB copy of Wind Waker."
"-I have that?" Mario seated himself opposite side of the kitchen table.
Their little wooden home was warmed by the morning sun. Birds chirped outside and grass in the yard was covered in dew. The kitchen was frequently their place to chat, the only clear area. They had a multitude of items, enough for Mario to start misplacing everything aside from his own head, even his tools sometimes and especially gift #1000 from a random fan, the main culprits. Being the sole heroes of an entire Kingdom gave you admirers; Mario in particular had hordes. After years and years he couldn't keep up, so now they were at the acceptance phase, uncomfortable but apprehensive of any other recourse. Needing to move somewhere more spacious was obvious and they surely deserved it, but house searching would create a spectacle neither wanted to deal with. The thought of the paparazzi and media coverage gave Luigi shivers. So they remain stagnant and complacent, sandwiched innocuously in a suburb West of downtown Toad Town. Mario didn't hang around at home much anyway, his way of ignoring the problem. Luigi continued to be a home body however, using time alone to study and wind down from the day and be privy to certain matters like letters addressed to them. Or the phone.
"Why is Bowser calling like that?"
Mario sipped his orange juice to delay his answer, plate emptied moments ago. "Because he's a dumb koopa. He thinks he can replace you as my tennis partner today."
Luigi lowered his morning Toad Town news, eyebrows furrowing. "How did that come about? During that vending machine robbery?"
"Before."
His younger brother tossed the folded paper away dismissively. "Great idea. Have fun."
"What?"
"Go ahead and play with him. I uh," Luigi hesitated, lighting up. "That's fine. Yeah, I was wanting to watch a game for once instead of participating."
Mario wiped his face with a napkin. "You're joking. We are at the top of the leaderboards and this will mess up our streak!"
"Mario, I'm with you all of the time and we've been doing stuff non stop. My mind's made up," Luigi said, dropping his dishes in the sink. Mario waited all the way until they were cranking up the Mach Bike for Luigi to announce 'Got ya' back. He never did. Mario would really be playing with Bowser today and in front of everyone. It settled in on the trip.
...
"Bowser kicked you off the roster?" Toad repeated. The twitchy subordinate of the princess ran a concession stand in front of the tennis stadium among others. Toad had a glass tip jar half full of shiny coins testifying to the fact that he was the most successful of the vendors out there. It was a nice typical day in Toad Town with Mushroomites and visitors gathering for the tournament.
"Shhh," Luigi checked behind him discreetly and pulled his carry-on back up on his shoulder. "Don't shout from the roof tops that it's Bowser or act suspicious. Not yet. I only know because I caught one of their 'calls' again."
Toad kept nodding and listening while pouring some shroom shake in a cup, so that while distracted it over filled.
"Toad! That's suspicious!"
"Hahaha whoops," Toad said, wiping the spill with a towel. "Wow, thought it'd be easy today, but with 'him' with Mario there might be real competition. No offense."
"Toad you jerk! But I do want a good match. That means I'll get a better view of the carnage. Heh heh," he jest.
"You got that right. Wanna try a fresh shroom shake before I'm clean out?" He held up a pitcher full of something pale blue. The other flavor was yellow.
Luigi gulped the blue flavor down. It wasn't a syrupy as he expected, more like favored water, more suspicious if anything. While his head was tilted up Mario snuck up on him and poked him in the back. In alarm Luigi sprayed juice all over himself and Toad's stand.
"Dummy.." Luigi grumbled, pulling his carry bag closer to himself and away from his brother.
"Just checking up on you little bro since we're not, you know."
"Hi Mario!" Toad cut in. "I know already. So, I guess I better pack up early." He retrieved a megaphone from under his stand. "SHROOM SHAKES 50% OFF!"
The Mario brothers covered their ears grimacing. That call galvanized a few people over so they split, Luigi away from the stadium and Mario closer. Once Mario was off the path and in the grass there came Princess Peach, ruler of the Kingdom. She spotted him and whisked him away in small talk. Luigi instead went closer to the busy sidewalks next to the street. Tentatively he scoped out the regal sports coliseum, Toad Towns number one spot for outdoors events. He'd been here a million times but after his latest study topic he saw it in a different way. He noticed the jagged shape of the battlement against the blue sky. -It's large and imposing nature, one of the tallest down town. -It's aged yellow brickwork, the foundation laid long before the rest of the modern city was built around it. It was surely as old as Peach's Castle.
With this in mind, he checked around him one more time. There were only strangers trickling in to the game or just going about business around in the city. He felt safe enough to retrieve from his bag an expensive camera, purchased a few months ago. His brother never noticed it or his sudden interest in the subject. He snapped a few pictures and then rushed to get the kind of seat he wanted.
Soon a bus pulled up to the curb and one of many departing was a green dinosaur. Yoshi rubbed his eyes walking around a bit like a zombie before he woke up more fully. Spectating this game would be the first time he'd sit still in a few days, rushing from the Mario Kart yesterday to his home at Yoshi's Island to the Mushroom Kingdom. The bus system was new to Toad Town in the recent decades and heavily utilized by many. Another thing was the cell towers. That was his favorite invention, living isolated from Mario and crew having to rely on boat. He could now just call around when ever to organize meet ups and didn't matter how inconvenient. He just made sure he supported anything Mario did.
Yoshi checked if he had a message yet from his fiancée Birdo who remain home. He debated calling even though it would incurr a roaming charge. He was a little concerned about something, but he spotted Toad packing up and rushed over instead.
"Need help?" Yoshi inquired, pulling a small pale arm from a giant pile of paper cups. Toad's stand was ransacked and all drink pitchers empty. The tip jar was overstuffed with cash.
Toad emerged from the pile. "Thanks homeboy. Guess I got overwhelmed."
"No problem, Toad. Well, aren't you late for your game against Mario and Luigi?"
"Yeah Mario and.. yeah I guess so. Let me just-" In a flash Toad had all the junk packed up, lightning quick. "That's better."
Yoshi scratched his head, both at that feat and at how strange he was acting. He just knew somehow this would be a strange day.
...
Meanwhile...
Accurate communication was the cornerstone of advanced civilization. On days like this Ludwig Von Koopa, Dark Land's prince and Koopa Troop commander in chief, would consider it a stretch to attribute such a label to Dark Land however. Regardless he was going to have to take his chances and there was no backtracking at this point. In the halls of Bowser Castle he heard 'Reprisal in A minor', an old avant-garde and controversial piece of his own, playing from the auditorium. It was fitting for today actually. He stood outside the door momentarily captivated when the door opened whacked him in the face.
"Oops! I didn't see you there." A rainbow haired koopaling, younger by a year, juggled five bowling pins as he spoke. "I've gotten into blasting silly music while I practice for my gig coming up. You didn't tell me your hit was on the comedy station during the 'Delusional Artist Happy Hour'.'"
Ludwig held the knot on his snout. "I told the record company it wasn't a parody- Oh disregard such. May I borrow that old boombox? Thank you General Lemmy. Oh, and do not get too preoccupied and expend all your energy with that routine today."
"Why not? King Dad's left in the copter. We don't even have to sneak out anymore!"
"That is an order!" Ludwig said, tucking the radio under his arm and shutting the door closed behind him. Sitting on stage he tuned in to WMUSH for local Toad Town news. The sports coverage was due up.
...
Bowser threw another dart at Mario. The metal tipped barb dug in an inch deep, straight in Mario's nose. Crudely taped to a wall in the locker room with most of the bulbs flickering or busted was a tattered large poster of Mario doing a 'v' sign, speckled with innumerable tiny holes.
"I didn't know you had that old print out.." Mario watched Bowser assault that poster for thirty seconds, long enough to notice his red hair gelled back, the black and red sports visor with a black sweat band underneath, really over doing it, and the loosely fitting red tank top. He caught himself. This switch up seemed awfully put together and predetermined when impulsive and unorganized was the epitome of his rival otherwise.
"Yes, AND?!" Bowser retorted, jolting Mario. He kept his back to him. "It's for motivation to wipe the floor with you in real life. Anyway I've been in here forever and I've warmed up. Whatta bout you? Oh, yeah. Surprise!"
"Surprise what?"
The Koopa King spun around dramatically. "I'm working with ya!"
"...That's not a surprise! I got the letter and the voicemail. Luigi heard the call by the way and got cold feet."
"Cool story, plumber. I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Oh sure," Mario relented, catching on. "Anything else in store for me?"
Bowser crossed his arms, leading against a rusty old locker. "I didn't bring Junior this time. Didn't ya realize? And you say you notice the small stuff.."
"I do! Why are you all dressed up?"
"To look good, moustache! It's for the princess and not you, so stop staring."
Mario flushed, dropping his huge duffle bag onto the benches finally. "Alright, but people seeing you will start a riot with the peace pact going on. I know that thing was never supposed to affect recreational events but you know how things have turned out anyway. How early did you have to get up to sneak into the Kingdom without anyone freaking out?"
Bowser yawned. "Too early."
The plumber rolled his eyes, bent over digging around in the duffle bag. He kept in there all sports stuff, golf clubs, bowling balls, hockey, basketball, etc. It made it incredible heavy and unwieldy but impossible to misplace. That did not apply to the contents however. "Oh shoot." He stood up and frowned. "Worried about you, I forgot to pack the racket!"
"Cause of me?!"
"Yes! I didn't sleep well because of allergy issues and you know that only kicks up when I'm in your moldy old castles and airships!"
"Then we meet somewhere else, pipes for brains!"
"No where else is safe!" Mario yelled in his face. "I suggested that other place but you got all-"
"-Because plumber there you know how they are with-"
"-Whatever, Koopa."
"Whatever your face! I hate that other place and I will not meet ya there!"
"...You know, you're as particular as Peach sometimes."
In a fit Bowser snatched him up by his collar. Mario was shocked, sorta excited, but also scared all at once. Who would be daft enough to pulverize their own tennis partner minutes before the game? Bowser apparently! Mario flailed as his boots dangle above the ground several feet. Then Bowser said low but dangerously, his warm breath tickling Mario's ear.
"And I bet you love it, don't ya!"
Mario smiled just as the doors of the locker room opened just wide enough to let the outdoors light bleed in. As Bowser had not seen daylight yet in Toad Town, he was blinded and dropped Mario.
"Yooo! Just checking on ya," wailed Toad poking his head inside the room.
"Gaaah! FungusFace, I can't see!" Bowser yelled, shielding his face.
"Sorry Bowser! I was just wanting to tell you that uh.."
"Toad, you need to get out of here," Mario said trying to sound very serious, yet still flushing horribly. "They don't know Bowser's about to walk out and play!"
"That's it, homeboy. I guess people did know 'cause half the empty seats in the last five minutes has gotten filled by what looks like Bowser Freaks. It's getting kinda dicey."
"Grrr... Nosy third shift mooks at the castle caught me leaving. Or my brats did it. Whatever! Who cares? Get lost!"
"So Daisy and I will beat you in front of your own soldiers. Cool, see y'all!"
Bowser growled again as the door shut. He turned back to Mario. "Listen, I know I said I wouldn't do anything drastic or illegal during the game but, forget it. I'm doing something drastic and illegal to him."
"Bowser!" Mario groaned. Despite feeling alleviated that Bowser stepping on the field wouldn't cause a riot, he remained uneasy. There were Koopa Troop right in their presence! Peach was even going to be out there somewhere as a guest umpire. She made sure to remind him on their walk into the stadium. The peace pact didn't forbid active KT to attend neutral entertainment venues but everyone in the Mushroom World knew what that document residing over both kingdoms really implying by 'These Kingdoms may never quarrel again'. It was yet another reason he almost regretted... suggesting it...
"Plumber, wake up! They're playing the Mushroom Anthem. I'd know that off key tune anywhere.."
Bowser again jolted him out of his thoughts. He was right, stop thinking so much, but there was a more pressing issue. "Wait, I need a-"
"Get a spare outta my bag," Bowser said, leaving him behind and pulling the visor lower over his eyes.
Reluctantly Mario did. Bowser had a ragged patched up duffle bag on the ground like it was tossed there. The Koopa King had packed light. There wasn't even any hints he'd brought himself snacks despite being cooped up in this musty place for hours. Bowser really didn't plan anything. He just did it, like the Air Koopa shoe advert taped to the wall stated. There was a spare green tennis racket which otherwise resembled Bowser's purple one, down even to the red menacing Bowser emblem on it. Its balance was uneven Mario found, a different flex than he used to, but he didn't dislike it either. Now it was game time.
...
Toad crossed the field to the opposite side where his team's locker room was to see if his partner would bother to notice him now. As a manger in Peach's Castle he was over a slew of colorful personalities and was familiar with needing to cheer someone up.
"Yo, Daze?" he greeted to the princess.
She was still planted on the benches doing something on her phone. She had on an orange tank-top and shorts and her hair was tied back with a hair band, so she looked ready to go. That couldn't be the issue then, Toad reasoned.
She continued to jab at at the touchscreen with hints of frustration. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Just remember the formation we discussed over the phone."
Toad inched closer. "Okay but. I just wanna know, is everything alright?"
Daisy dropped the phone in her purse and put her hands in her lap, looking uncomfortable. "It's political stuff from back home. There was an excavation next to my castle and since it's all been whack. I might be going crazy, dawg."
"They got a gold rush?" Toad guessed, trying to imagine the geometry of her living quarters. He'd depressingly never visited Sarasaland and could only go by some of Luigi's grainy phone camera photos of it he'd seen in the past.
She shook her head. "Maybe at first. Maybe it was even me wondering what's been under my nose the whole time. Nah, I just wanted excitement but then I got it when Mario started this new activity season. I posted on my social media that I might be busy. That's why I missed the kart race, but then Mario scheduled a game on this Friday anyway!"
"Would you rather not play?"
"Oh I will play." Daisy stood up. "And I teamed with you because I really wanted to break loose and forget about problems for a moment. I thought it was gonna be against Weegee though instead of King Koopa like you told me before. Sorta why I bothered to doll my self up a lil."
Toad chuckled. "You call that a little? Daze, you look great! Forget all that main character drama and other stuff at least till we beat their butts."
"Aww, thank you toady," she said, blushing. She threw her items away into a locker and retrieved her racket, orange with her royal flower emblem in the middle. "Wait, did you just imply I'm not a main character?"
"Crap." Toad sprinted out the locker room.
Toad was running around like a maniac as the anthem was concluding. He saw the hordes of cheering fans in the stands and felt energized. He loved attention, it made him want to bounce all over the place even more so than he normally did. He guessed he was that way because he had to make up for the fact that he was one of a billion toads and named Toad at that, so he had to make himself notable somehow. Before he could cross the white line to the court, he was ambushed by a delivery guy, or a promotional guy- it was unclear, with a baseball cap tilted down covering his face and a low dry tone when he spoke briefly. He gifted Toad a paper bag with a soda in it.
"Oh cool." It was a can of Fungus Up ice cold, discontinued so possibly old stock. They once had a soda machine in the castle. It must surely be stale he reasoned for a second, but he gulped it down and burped afterwards, tossing the empty can into a trash receptacle and missing by a long shot.
Daisy wryly shook her head and made his shot again, correctly this time. She downed the rest of her own free promotional Fungus Up and disposed of her trash as well.
"No littering," Lakitu told them off a second too late. He then simmered and retreated to his umpire shot. The right side of the stadium had lots of toads, bob-omb buddies, nokis, piantas, and other friendly species. On the left however were more of the same but also a few Koopa Troop soldiers, bandits, thwomps, and other enemies likely to root for Bowser.
Daisy gave the umpire an 'ok' symbol while Toad stuck his tongue out at the cloud riding baddie. They entered the field.
"Ladies and gentlemen...and Bowser!" Lakitu and Bowser exchanged nasty looks. "In this doubles match we have Mario and L- I mean Mario and his arch rival King Bowser verses Princess Daisy and Toad who have no relation.. why am I announcing that part out loud? Screw this!"
The crowds cheered, clearly not paying attention to Lakitu and working themselves into a frenzy at what they saw instead. All tennis players were now into position. Toad and Bowser were hugging the net and Daisy and Mario stood farther back. To Mario the competition seemed capable and both Toad and Daisy had developed a twitch, not unheard of from Toad considering how often he got electrocuted, but very odd for the princess. Even odder, Mario thought, was the slight foaming at the mouth.
Thwak!
The tennis ball hit Mario in the gut, bouncing off to the sidelines. Laughter could be heard from some of the crowd.
"Bed time's over, plumber boy! Freaking wake up!" Bowser growled.
"For the LAST time, first serve Mario!" Lakitu repeated. Mario could have sworn it was never said a first time.
To be continued…
"Author note: Get Ready To Rumble! Next chapter at least." -taken from Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever Chapter 3
Dates: 5/13/19 -5/19, 5/24, 5/26/19, 6/2, 6/4, 6/8, 6/10, 6/12
Page breaks: 8/11/20
2022 Revise: 1/13, 1/15/22, 1/16/22
