Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
'Keep Your Friends Close' (Chapter Four)
Disclaimer: Mario and co belong to Nintendo.
Kylie Koopa circled in red ink a particular spot on her fold out map of Toad Town, specifically where the tennis stadium was. Since Luigi informed her about the illness many were stricken with, including Toad and Daisy, she had to pinpoint the source of infection. Scanning over his photos the only curious details were the unusual representation of Koopa Troop in the crowds and little lime green objects reflecting the sun's glare, ostensibly something edible like a beverage. This food object was predominantly found on one side of the stadium where mostly Toad Town locals were. Upon zooming in on Toad and Daisy's court, their trash cans even had that object in it.
She pondered, idly tapping her pen against her notebook. That thing could have originated from any vendor outside the stadium. Furthermore Susie Que's snapshots of the same match predominantly omitted the object, along with care and skill befitting the professional photographer they claimed to be, but that was another matter.. Clinging to that flicker of a lead, she grabbed her purse and slipped on her walking shoes from under the desk.
Strolling out, her gaze wandered towards the other main row of cubicles, the one that eventually led to her boss Steve the Bullet Bill's office. Susie appeared to be flagrantly goofing off on the office computer yet again, but she didn't want to lay it down on their first day and earn a nickname like 'Karen Koopa'. Something caught her one foot out the door, a small buzzing sensation. She rolled her eyes hard, knowing the source instantly.
"Whaddya want, Mitch?" She forcibly swiveled Mitch's chair around to face her.
"I need to speak to you, babe. That new guy down there-"
"I don't wanna hear it." This was the toad that told her he got a headache the moment Susie stepped in. Maybe the photos were lackluster but that was plain rude. "Just worry about yourself, greeney."
"I don't think you understand," he replied chillingly. "If you have to go to the stadium, be careful. That's all."
After Kylie departed, Mitch kept watch over Susie's space until the lunch bell rang. Everyone working made their way out in one group. When the dust settled, as predicted, Susie was missing.
The people of Sirena Beach were blissfully unaware of Toad Town's growing conundrum, instead hoping their sunscreen had been up to par against the rays of the tropical sun today, considering the shady vendor in a mask gave them a suspicious deal, and they wouldn't be deep red in sunburns in the morning. Tourists dotted the golden shore, leisurely lounging in chairs or under umbrellas to utilize the last of the daylight hours, some even intending to hop on the short ferry to Pinna Park later for the after dark parties. No one paid attention to the dark blue shelled noki passing them by on the trail to Hotel Delfino. The most average tourist imaginable, he had dark sunglasses and wore a red loose fitting Hawaiian shirt. The hotel's lobby had dim lighting for the hour with tropical and tiki styling all around, along with the ubiquitous fresh fruit. The noki greeted the desk clerk and signed in.
The bemused pianta clerk quickly glanced over and stamped his documents. "Heh, nobody ever has this crap filled out legibly. Take this card key and enjoy your stay brah, er uh, Mr. Bond!"
"Merci." Mr. Bond intentionally chose to climb the stairs. On the top floor was his single bed room with all of the usual furnishings and a great view of the shore from the patio. But, something was off… The noki corrected the slightly crooked watercolor painting showing off Noki Bay. Alluring, and surely more so in person. It was going to be his travel destination until he backed out for personal reasons. He slung his giant suitcase onto the bed, something he would not do if vacationing as usual with his roommate. He packed only flowery shirts of all colors, a wet suit, a wallet with a badge, and a silenced handgun…
After settling in his phone vibrated. He answered. "Yes."
"Agent 0064, status?"
"Here safely. No enemy interference."
"Great.." Agent N, the voice on the other line replied.
"What else is going on?" He pressed with a more casual but alarmed change of tone.
"HQ is still getting details, but my niece is sick, Jelectro…"
"Mon dieu!"
"-I know, she apparently visited to see a 'Mario game'- don't know which one that was, but now she's put up somewhere last I heard. Don't come rushing home again. You did just assist with a counter-terrorist operation a week ago, so standby at least for now. Alright? Over."
The line disconnected before enemy spies could trace the call. Now watching the beach goers from the high vantage point of his room, Jelectro found his inner peace as fleeting as the light on the horizon. He decided he'd seen all the sights he needed to see and some that he didn't. He really wished the grounds keepers would stop picturing some of the beach goers without clothes..
"Brah with the sunglasses, leaving already?" the desk pianta asked the panting tourist rushing down the steps with his luggage ready to go. The Mushroom Kingdom was in a different hemisphere so he'd have his daylight hours all over again to pop in and check things out.
Five people re-entered the hospital from the employee back door. They bypassed bundles of inventory and stepped into the large kitchen. In the middle of the lunch rush, the brigade of cooks were busily preparing a variety of meals, ranging from 'typical hospital' to 'way too good for this place'.
Peach darted to the head chef, a toad with a brown twirly mustache and a tall white hat, whispering something in his ear. He nodded just as the others spotted Bowser in the rear. A chain reaction of screaming, pots clanging, white flour clouding the air, and eggs cracking to the floor resulted.
The chef clapped two pans together for a louder clang. "Ze Princess has spoken! Ignore ze Big Koopa!" he ordered.
Peach scoped out into the cafeteria through some round windows. "I am afraid we will have issues beyond here," she remarked.
Bowser gave out a frivolous laugh to their annoyance.
"Boo should be out there though, so I need to slip out and catch them up," Luigi said, stepping beside the princess. "Especially since we're toting King Koopa with us now."
"Luigi-" his brother began.
"Luigi what, Mario?" He marched up to him, their noses almost bumping. "It's enough wondering what the heck's happened to our friends, now we also gotta make sure Bowser over there doesn't terrorize society as usual?"
Luigi yelling at him over some rash decision wasn't unexpected, but that carry case strapped to his smoldering form was. "Lil bro, actually everyone follow me real quick! Except for Bowser.."
The red plumber shuffled them into the closest secure place.
"Mario!" Peach wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. "W-why d-did you p-push us into the f-freezer?"
"Just for a sec Peach," he turned to his brother. "Luigi, you didn't tell me you bought a camera. Did you snap pictures of the game?" He reached for Luigi's camera hanging from his neck.
Luigi sighed heavily, breath fogging the chilly air. "Yeah.. I kept quiet because I was still learning and I didn't want to be pigeonholed as your photographer."
"Well, did you notice anything up there?"
A few things went through his younger brother's head at that moment. "..I checked out every stand before the game and I never found the source of some sorta green soda. Kinda wanted one myself because, well, 'Green'. Yet a bunch of people had them around me in the crowd. It wasn't a Bowser Freak only special because those jerks never seemed to have them."
"People were saying on the Toad Town message boards that there was a special promotion in the park this morning," Yoshi added. "No description however."
The princess, nose running like a faucet but intrigued, mentioned, "There is just no telling, but I must add that green can reminds me of that discontinued Fungus Up that used to be 'all the rage'. It's long gone, the factory does not even exist in the kingdom now."
"Darn.." Luigi said quietly. He felt as if the long road he was headed down had the very end of it closed forever, making the entire journey moot.
"-Can we leave the walk-in freezer now, Mario? Frozen peaches are not a menu item here!"
Mario relented to her reluctantly. "Please let me know if you notice anything else from now on, guys. Now I'll personally keep Bowser in check in the kitchen so nothing stupid happens until we can see Toad and Daisy."
They emerged, the warmth from the kitchen blasting their faces. Promptly they split from Mario. Bowser was leaning around against the back wall when Mario walked up to him, tapping his foot.
"Don't get too comfortable, Koopa. If we're gonna take up space back here, we're gonna be useful. What size apron will fit around your giant-?"
Bowser looked at him crazy. "-What?"
Peach went through the entire building to the front quickly, knowing all of the side passages for staff that would keep her out of the main hallways and away from the eyes of her citizens. Despite her passive outer face, she was overwhelmed in a way she rarely was when she was still in her own kingdom and not kidnapped. After the helicopters landed she was one of the first to frantically explain to Dr. Prof. Koopa what happened to her most loyal toad and her fellow princess friend. She had nothing but fond memories of the koopa doctor in her castle until her father replaced him. Knowing he held a prominent position in Mushroom Kingdom Hospital East, her own sanctioned health facility, gave her some sense of hope initially. He had a conciliatory response to her blithering afterall, however in retrospect his answers seemed empty to her now that she had walked around and gotten a clearer head again. Wicked Bowser, who hitched a ride here for an additional headache, somehow had shared history with the doctor after he left Peach Castle. Her enemy's harangue about him however might as well have been fan-fiction. She refused to believe they were referring to the same person.
Regardless, she would skip playing Sherlock over this matter and simply speak to him again. That was how you solved things, not.. Whatever weird games the men around her were playing..
She approached Nass's front office. The sterile, brightly lit lobby and public halls were quiet now; a patient in a cot had not shot through those double doors for fifteen minutes. "May I ask, where is Doctor Professor?"
Nass appeared busy organizing freshly printed data sheets. So dense of a stack, Peach prayed they didn't represent every patient sick. "Wait at his office," the head nurse answered.
Peach power walked to his office on the ground floor and found the door locked and the lights out. "How wonderful.." She groaned, resisting the urge to fuss. Back in the day when she only staffed toads, this sort of thing would never happen. Those native docile Mushroomites would stumble over themselves to accommodate her back then, but alas that was outdated and not particularly relevant thinking..
"-Don't they know I got a bad leg? Screw the weight limit, I'm taking this," mumbled a whomp at the end of the hall, suited in a wrinkled white doctor's coat. Back facing her, he trudged to the elevator.
Peach ignored the voice in the back of her mind telling her to turn away. This was her approved hospital so she was obligated especially, sprinting up steps to the third floor where she saw the doctor click. She cautiously explored seemingly deserted area where 'Board room #6' drew her attention. From out the door spilled some staff, an elderly toad woman, the whomp from before, a blue shy guy nurse, a first responder, several junior assistants, and lastly Doctor Professor Koopa, slipping something into his pocket.
She quickly came up behind the lingering doctor. "Dr. Professor?" she called softly.
He spun to her slowly. "Princess, hello again. What is the matter?"
"I did not intend to interrupt, but I was wondering if you had a prognosis for my friends now. In addition.." She hesitated before adding on, "if any others have the same?"
The corners of his mouth stretched into an even wider smile, not exactly the response she expected. "My dear 'Sweet Pea', what 'others'? You know your hospital is very busy with your subjects suffering from a multitude of ailments. The only other alternative for treatment is that unscrupulous Dr. Toadley in town or those hillbillies down South. As for those belonging to you, we were running special tests. Don't you worry now. It will be fine." He gently put a hand on her shoulder.
Peach blushed. "Very well, Doctor. Thank you." Self-conscious, she prepared to distance herself quickly. Mario had rattled everyone prematurely and now they were just being so paranoid. Furthermore, who was she to challenge trained doctors as a mere sponsor? "One request. Could we at least see Toad and Daisy sooner?"
Doctor Professor scanned a handheld pda. "In five minutes. Is that alright? Good girl."
The princess departed down one elevator while the elevator door next to it opened and a nurse rushed out, arms flailing. The toad girl resembling a shorter version of Nass T. collided with the koopa doctor and both collapsed.
"Sorry!" She tried to pull him up. "I'm Emery T., roof top emergency services dudette. Did I miss the 'big vote'?"
Doctor Professor slapped away the girl's hands and climbed up on his own. "Miss Emery, your ballot wouldn't have counted anyway! Now keep your butt out of private matters!"
As he yelled the pipe above rattled, the main water line leading below. That was because someone was flushing over and over to make noise and deter a certain dinosaur from sticking around.
Back on ground level, Yoshi tapped repeatedly on the stall door. "Boo, I know you are in there. Luigi and I searched all over and he's getting worried." Yoshi had been hearing Boo sniffling back there. He leaned up against the door. "What's wrong?" he asked as comforting as he could.
"...Y-you wouldn't understand."
"Can I try?"
"...Sometimes. It's too much, even with little things."
Yoshi paused, carefully finding his words. "Boo. I get that actually. How old are you?.. Twenty-five you say? I was even much younger than that when Yoshi's Island had that famous dilemma. Some old friends of mine didn't make it through that horrific journey to stop Kamek. I never thought I would get over that, but I thought about how Mario took it well despite being just a baby clearing those levels. How much more did I need to be stronger as a teen then? When I met back up with Mario as an adult when Bowser attacked Dinosaur Land again, I couldn't wait to tell him how much his example shaped what I'd wanted to be. What I'd become. And yet he was so.. normal of a guy. Like he didn't realize how much of a big deal he was. He was just my best friend. "
"..."
Yoshi laughed at himself, not expecting to get emotional. "Sorry I went off topic. I brought it up because whatever you're going through just keep your friends close. Do you have a role model?"
The stall door unlocked and crept open with one beady eye looking out. " Guess who, hehe."
"...Oh, it's 'him' isn't it?" Yoshi realized.
Boo came out into the open, nodding. "And I'm acting like a terrible friend because I keep running all the darn time! The next scary thing that happens will just do it to me again-"
The door was kicked open with a loud bang as it bounced against the worn out rubber stopper. In the doorframe stood Luigi panting heavily and gripping tightly a plunger. When he saw their stunned faces instead of the pipe bursting plumbing catastrophe some random nurse tipped him on, he dropped his stance, understanding then that he'd been trolled. "Never mind this, guys. What's up?"
Running off the adrenaline stemming from the fact that they hadn't fled for once, Boo squeaked. "Luigi, I promise to keep myself together and stick with you from now on, even after threatening calls from foreign hospitals. This day has been great, aside from, you know, but because I'm working with you. I didn't want to sound like a weirdo at first but.. I changed my name to Booigi the Second.."
Luigi blinked twice. "What?"
"-Because there was already a Booigi out there," Boo clarified.
"I think Luigi meant that other part," Yoshi said. "What phone call?"
"It was supposed to be for some other doctor but I picked it up accidentally and they're doing something special today to about sixty people," Boo recalled.
Yoshi whipped Luigi's way. "Quick, put that down so we can show Mario."
Slightly put off, Luigi made a note. "I didn't want to be pigeonholed as Mario's photographer OR Boswell by the way, but that is freaky. Better yet, it's about time we can see Daisy and Toad. Let's just meet 'em at the room.."
A teenage koopaling with a blue mohawk yanked off his headphones, springing up from the couch in a huff. The den of Bowser's castle was one of the few places for the koopalings primarily to hang out that had space for them and was free of pesky military influence, stuffed with places to lounge around and entertainment. Even their own bubbles however could clash spectacularly and burst.
Larry stepped in front of his sister. "Hey, quit them downloads! You're making the internet connection move like Kammy!" he yelled at the ocean princess koopaling on the floor stomach down and playing the Playstation 4 a few feet away from their wide projection tv.
She leaned around him with a scowl. "Hold on, gosh! I'm trying to get an account set up."
"Can't ya use Iggster's like always?"
"No! I'm sick of logging on and having to explain to friends why I have so many problematic avatars and achievements. So now I have my own profile, even though the high membership fee and repurchasing of digital games is totes stupid and blatant capitalism.. Anyway you gotta wait, sugar. I have privileges to use the TV and you don't!"
Larry groaned as he stomped back to the couch, knowing her argument was impenetrable. He never understood how she and Iggy managed to use purely good behavior to woo their father and gain dominion over the TV, forcing the rest to tolerate unbridled Sony supremacy. It could be worse. The only other goody two shoes contender was Lemmy, who wished to flood the room with Nintendo. That was for babies, so he'd rather digest ' imported untranslated weeaboo anime game #500' over that. Not literally of course. He returned to his beat up laptop, hinges getting looser by the moment. A present from last year, the fifteen year old had already worn it out from use. His only outlet for his hobbies and in general, especially with online friends who weren't from Dark Land..
His and Wendy's phone made a noise at the same time. "Attention! All koopalings meet in 'the room', now!" the text said, sent to all of the koopalings.
"Nope!" Larry shut it off.
"Now you sound smart, sugar!" Wendy's bejeweled phone sat aside, she proceeded to download 'Princess Parlor 7'.
After checking for prying eyes, Ludwig reentered 'the room' and seated himself on an upside down mop bucket. The single light bulb above occasionally flickered in the dusty broom closet. Their secret meeting location frequently shifted but this may have been the most cramped, most smelly one yet. Koopa Troop members no longer battling the Mushroom Kingdom lingered all over the castle, reducing secrecy greatly. For a while none of Bowser's family knew how to react to Bowser Castle actually having full capacity for once. It made Ludwig's recent idea all the more difficult to develop yet rewarding to accomplish.. With that he was pleased at least for the turn out of Roy, Lemmy, and Morton to his meeting.
"I got koopaball practice, Luddy. Make it quick."
"Roy, I told you to cancel that. You cannot be present for it today."
Roy shot up and gave his eldest brother a noogie, completely ruining his styled hair.
"Stop it stop it!" Ludwig pushed him away. "Did you forget already?"
The large koopaling sheepishly smiled. "Oh yeah!"
"Will I have time to send off my latest draft? I have just completed it this morning because I've been talking online and some in my book club will help fund my eight hundredth edition of the 'Bestest, Most Superior, Most Exquisite Thesaurus Ever' with me as the writer, author, and wordsmith," Morton explained.
"Yes, Morton! If you place the package in our mail receptacle quickly," Ludwig replied, trying not to sound too irritated.
"Are we about to do something important?" Lemmy asked, twirling a broom handle between his fingers.
"General Lemmy, how could you inquire such when it is partially due to your intuition involving Vater's actions that we are still here and resting in preparation of our plan to be executed, instead of half across the kingdom already by now? "
That was mostly gibberish to all but Lemmy, who shook his head. "No I meant that since there's basically nothing for us to do right now am I allowed to call King Dad about something kinda unrelated?" He revealed a cellphone with different colored buttons and a pink plastic shell, a gift from turning 22 last month.
Somewhat concerned, Ludwig remarked bluntly, "Lemmy, that is merely a toy. I thought Vater purchased you a real cellular phone?"
Lemmy did a sort of 'trick' and uncovered his hand again, revealing a different one with a giant FHD touch screen, unused and still covered in plastic. "Psych! I knew that. So can I text Dad or not?"
Unamused, the eldest brother rolled his eyes. "Just discreet, brother mine. Due to our delay, it appears our family airship is missing."
"Wasn't me dis time!" Roy blurted out.
"It was Kammy on one of her excursions, her spending sprees, her flea market rummaging, her marketing massacring-"
"Well Morton, I certainly hope not! Not when we are set to occupy it immediately after. The notion of waddling through her of 'As-Seen-On-TV' air fryers or incontinence pads or vintage jewelry haphazardly littered around.." Ludwig trailed off. "-Oh, you are dismissed."
Lemmy checked his wrist 'watch'. "About time!" He pressed a speed dial for his father, but only after he peeled that protective plastic off, savoring the moment. The budding koopaling performer was sure that was how they got people to buy new phones every year. It was just that satisfying to peel that new plastic!
"Do you want to deliver ze koopasta?" the chef asked, poking Bowser with a rolling pin.
"DO I LOOK LIKE A DANG WAITER?" Bowser bellowed. With a puff of smoke he returned to the one task the red plumber supervising from across the large salad table could convince him to do without excessive grumbling.
Lunch proceeded at breakneck pace. Most of the patients weren't eating, but the extra staff called in to handle the surge were starving, along with visitors. Mario must have prepared fifty bundles of hand made pasta, so much even he was almost getting sick of it. Routinely he'd check on Bowser as he'd promised his friends he'd do. He wasn't enamored or anything but witnessing Bowser fumble basic measurements, or even boil water wrong, yet perfectly slice the Gorgeous Steak on the grain without effort, kept a smile on his face. The Koopa King had a rhythm in the protein station, not even sweating in the blistering heat from the ovens going at once and having the Meat, Bone-In Cut, and Hamburgers ready ahead of the other stations. Only one Mistake early on to boot. Mario had seen the fringes of his culinary skills before, but never like this..
"Zat ist it for now!" the chef declared, hanging up his hat. "Good job on zat last ticket."
"Phew!" Bowser went, stabbing the sharp butcher's knife deep into the cutting board cathartically.
Mario, rather bravely after witnessing that, approached behind him. "We still have time to help with the ala carte and the buffet menu items. It'll be fun get over here let's go!"
"Paws off, Moustache!" he growled, foreignly being tugged along by his rival.
Miserable and having his guts squeezed up by that tight apron, he was tasked to stay cooped up out of direct view, serving scoops of green peas through a small window to presumably whatever staff and visitors couldn't afford the fancier menu items, including but not limited to most of the meats he'd just grilled for the mushroom brats. Meanwhile Mario was free to run around in the open like an idiot, delivering dishes to some of the tables who would predictably fawn over his presence. What doofuses to love someone superficially. He bet they really knew nothing about Mario, especially not the small stuff: That his favorite levels are the water ones contrary to popular belief, or that he created Mario Kart based being a cabbie once, or that he's allergic specifically to the orange chocolate candies, or the real reason he's 'Mario Mario'.
Wanting to quicken up the pace, Bowser gave the next person, a toad girl, two giant helpings of peas. "I'm feeling generous. Get your vitamins in, toady!"
Emery T. glanced up from her tray. "But I hate peas, Bowser… Wait it's BOWSER?!"
"Nope! I'm uh, a fake one!" Bowser ducked out of the window to hide his face. Unfortunately his spikes on his green shell had other ideas, clearly sticking out.
"Oh my gosh, no way. Your sprite has the exact colorization. I would know, I've dressed up as a Fake Bowser a few times. It's really you! I love you!" Emery gushed, even though it was holding up the line. "I'm like your biggest fan!"
Bowser leaned up, a little baffled. He was used to some desperate koopa chick going through this spell before he let them down not so gently.
"Ugh, okay. Lemme prove it." Emery raised a hidden gold Bowser brooch necklace that was tucked into her shirt. "See? Only you can save this hospital."
Someone impatiently tapped her shoulder. "Excuse me ma'am-"
"Go around me then!" she barked at the nurse behind her. She then continued down low "-But anyway, something strange is going on. A bunch of people have been administered this 'stuff', basically it's not treatment, it's like a sedative and totally not normal protocol for the symptoms on their charts. I missed an important meeting so I don't know who to complain to anymore. When you say something everyone listens so, please I know you're the best. Can you help?"
"Whoa, listen gal, slow down," Bowser repeated under her rambling. "I know you got problems but I ain't Koopra Wenphry!"
Emery paused seriously. "..King, I'm talking about Mr. Toad and Princess Daisy! They're some of them and I think they're in trouble!"
"What?" he gasped, subconsciously leaning somewhat out the window. Then the angry nurses waiting for Emery to move her behind caught sight of a giant koopa in the window and ran for help, dropping their trays and screaming.
"Mario help!" they shrieked.
Bowser quickly shoved the oversized serving spoon to the nearest staff besides him. "Take this loser. I gotta go!"
"I have no handsssssss!" the fire snake complained in his wake.
Bowser scrambled through the kitchen, hurled himself into the storage room, and rolled through the back doors. Catching his breath, he expected a mob to pour out after him any moment, but all remained quiet. Then he felt absurd for getting spooked so soon, hoping no one noticed. As if a few mushroom freaks could take him on… But he guessed there were legitimate stakes here. If he screwed up he'd never see his tennis rivals one last time. On coming back inside his phone rang.
" Hey, this is Bowser?"
"Hi King Dad," Lemmy greeted, bouncing down the castle's long red carpeted hallway with Ludwig following 'coincidentally' but obviously trying to listen in. "I'm just calling because, umm, remember those minions who left to the Mushroom Kingdom to see your tennis game? I just wanted to give you the final tally-"
"Son, I'm kinda busy-!"
"-Okay King Dad but a few are still missing so if you see any in town-" He began mumbling, "Mmm mm mm!..."
Ludwig kept his arm around Lemmy's face. "Give me the phone! Hello, Vater?...Never mind those absent Koopa Troop operatives. We will handle the matter so do not feel tempted to expedite your homecoming or anything over that, even if you have little reason to stay in the kingdom right now!"
Lemmy, still being strangled, motioned his head as if saying 'No.' He motioned with two fingers the legs of someone running and then jumping high over another object represented by this fist. Ludwig stared at that blankly, clearly not getting the picture.
Bowser exploded then, "You all talk too much! I'm busy so don't bother me again!" He hung up.
Back in Bowser Castle, Ludwig released his brother and tapped his foot. "General Lemmy, that was precisely the type of external communication I was prohibiting!"
Lemmy bounced right back up without a scratch, but somewhat offended. "Whatever. You know King Dad is gonna yell when he comes back and the clock is missing all those punches again." Then he eased up, carefree as usual. "But it's okay anyway. You must have missed my hint."
"And what would that be?"
Lemmy spun his ball on one finger casually. "It represented Mario, duh. The other thing he thinks about aside from Princesses. If he's down there with both of them, there's no way he'll rush back to this dreary old place!"
Ludwig found a surprising amount of logic in that. He knew there was a reason he kept Lemmy around, aside from being his closest brother..
At MK East when Bowser dragged himself back, not having any eye contact with any meddling gossiping kitchen staff, he found no hysteria in the cafeteria anymore. Peeking further out the window, the crowd had thinned out and only a few were still eating at tables out there. As he ripped his hair net and apron off in irritation, he noticed a little note near his station with a number scribbled on it. He stared at it for a moment.
"Is every first day gonna be like this?" someone asked in the background. Bowser subtly tilted his head towards the back of the kitchen, it was a young dorkish lakitu.
"Yeah, when we're at 90 percent capacity," replied an older hammer bro washing dishes. "Now let me tell ya what else.." he continued, conversation drifting onto topics that might be pertinent or not, he couldn't determine.
Bowser groaned, feeling a headache coming on. It was frustrating that Peach couldn't just fix everything and force these losers to let them see his tennis rivals right now, skipping this waiting crap. On his turf decisions were unilateral, and everyone was upfront on matters. Or else. As far as he was concerned no one around him had stupid secrets..
Mario motioned for Bowser to follow him out back. "Nice uproar you caused. I had to convince a dozen terrified people that they definitely didn't see Bowser sneaking around in the kitchen serving peas."
Bowser tried to play it cool, discreetly hiding the note with the number as they went outdoors. "Yeah? Well, you mushroom bozos are a skittish bunch, 'aight? Least I did what cha said!"
Mario smiled then. "You did. This was surprisingly, suspiciously frankly, good behavior from you." He almost tacked on something about Bowser's cooking as well, as he'd 'sampled' some of that best selling steak going around, but that might be weird. Instead he'd 'reward' his rival by giving him the more dignified option coming up. "So Peach texted that it's go time. Wait a sec."
"Moustache? I can just walk out of here?" He asked as Mario retrieved something from the store room.
Mario tossed something scarlet over his head. "Yes you can, grandmother."
Bowser untangled himself from it. "The heck?" He slipped his arms through the thick woven fabric and soon it seemed like he was wearing a cloak with a hood. Lastly, Mario handed him a facial mask and a walker.
"There, we'll come around and reenter from the front with you as an old grandma I'm helping in." He encouragingly slung his arm around him, a little too comfortable with this plan already, Bowser felt.
He went along with it, strolling onto the sidewalk together and rounding to the front double doors. That pesky plumber! Bowser vowed to let no one ever find out he let Mario make a fool of him for his amusement. Mario 'in character' with that dumb infectious smile keeping his arm draped around him the entire time as they shuffled around wasn't necessary for instance and he'd have never made it this far down the trail of stupid they were on for anyone else. Besides that, Bowser almost mentioned that his kids phone him, something they never did when he was out ever, or that he had a toad fan girl, tantamount to Dark Land freezing over. He decided ultimately there was enough weirdness in the day already and he didn't need to add his part to it.
He wasn't alone in that thought process.
To be Continued….
Author note: Well, things are becoming interesting aren't they?
Created (as "In which there is a mystery'): 5/18/19 – 5/21, 5/26, 5/31 edit 6/2, 6/3, 6/5, 6/7, 6/10, 7/1, 7/9
Page breaks 8/11/20
Revise: 1/23/22, 1/24, 1/26/22 (renamed chapter) (touch ups in accordance with rest of story) 12/16/22
