Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)

Deluge (Chapter 13)

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to, yes me! No, just kidding again.

Author's Note: Wow, this was something. It has been some time since a chapter got away from me like this one did. Also, guess the motif for this chapter.

Content warning: It's long. Does that count as one?


"NO you can't see him!" Spit from the black spotted toad flew at the reporter.

"..The manager is a woman, hehe," the other guard added.

Jon whacked Bridget in the back of her head, skewing her combat helmet. "Who tf cares?"

Karen Koo- rather Kylie Koopa spun on her heels with an air of unbotherness, at least until she took her seat behind the wheel again. The typically spunky reporter retrieved the pink flier from where it lay on the passenger seat and reread it over: 'Pubic address from King's representative- Today at Peach Castle, 64 Royal Raceway, Toad Town'. Feeling like she was in a pit deeper than Glitzville's, she let it slip to the floor.

That event was going to have a turnout surpassing a Star Festival! It was conjecture that the Mushroom King wanted to bring fresh faces to his palace at Poshley Heights, spooked by how easily the Koopa Troop could snatch his daughter from under Mario's nose practically, but she wasn't going to be there to document any official proceedings it if she couldn't even beg Peach's castle toads for permission while they were cooped up in that hideous Hotel Mario. She was forbidden by Snifit Patrol and league. The snufit even threatened that if he wasn't stationed to guard the castle grounds, he'd do something about that 'stolen' kart she was driving.

That left- Well she wasn't so keen on Kinopio-Kun's blog. Digital territory was uncharted. She had dyslexia, that is how she obtained her reputation for daringly jumping into the middle of everything. Way easier to write about it if you were there compared to skimming through other sap's experience. Poor excuse.. That didn't stop her writing her Koopa Kronicle or a whole gosh darn novel.

It was time to hunt around for the web browser icon on her phone and check it out. Kinopio was a PR person whose content as an 'influencer' was flagrantly monitored by the Toadstools. How could Kylie forget when a person she was dating at the time- regrettably, was the reason that contemporary position was invented in a place as hoary as the Mushroom Kingdom.

"NO you can't see her!" Jon shouted down another visitor.

"But it's just a package. That's too much to accept?"

Jon rolled his eyes at the woman. "Could be dangerous, eh," he said, twirling the yellow flattish bubble mailer around. It was addressed to the 'Castle Manager' in cut and glued newspaper letters..

Just like a psycho would do! The deliverer, Boo, anxiously followed every movement as they didn't even know its contents.

"It woulda blown up by now, haha.." Bridget quipped. She got whacked again.

"I wish Ben was still here. You suck!" she shot back.

He pressed the packet onto her. "Then leave me alone and take care of that."

Kylie was about ready to jump out and hurt somebody when Boo ran off down the sidewalk. Instead she struck the push button ignition and pulled off. The boo twisted around as Kylie cracked her window.

"Psst. Some of those King's guards make ya wanna commit treason, don't they? You okay? Hop in."

"Thank you, Miss Kylie." Boo thought the sleek Aston Mushroom interior was 'off the chain'! Or did people still say that? Kylie drove off again in the slowest gear.

"Let me cut to the chase. Kinopio-Kun has his 'pms' or whatever disabled 'n I NEED executive admission to that public address. Weegee said you were a tech wiz yesterday. Any ideas?"

-Luigi what?! He.. bragged on Boo?

Boo pretended to look out the window as their face heated up. "Just speak to Mr. Kinopio. He's at MK East. I know because Parakarry had a few sympathy cards for him."


The blue toad marked on his little task list from Jr. Troopa(?), he didn't pay attention to the RPG folk too much, that he snagged from a counter at the S. hospital. To occupy himself this 'nurse' was expediting things that needed to be done, or that he could do rather, and one of those was to escort Dr. Toad to this overgrown plot of land with a wooden barn painted deep red. Stepping up to it, it had an unexpectedly large rickety metal shutter door taking up the entire front wall. In spite of that the doctor beside him, cityboy as he appeared made no comment- or eye contact. The gate rose by six inches, bushy green leaves rustling against it.

"Howdy. Hold it. I don't know yer smell.." the hoarse leafy person said.

Dr. Toad suspiciously turned to the nurse who shrugged and answered, "Umm. I'm wearing new cologne? So here is Dr. Toad. You know. The guy. On the list."

"...Nailed it pard!" they laughed knowingly. Their shaking branches activated something inside the barn that was close to the door. A shrill noise and flash went off causing something to explode in there. Smoke billowed from under the gate.

"Whoa, what the freaking heck?" the nurse laughed as well.

"Don't mind it. A Mecha-Yoshi needs a tweak." Vick slid a beige old looking telephone under the door.

The nurse smirked at the doctor that had leapt high in the air and landed in his arms after the blast. "..Can I put you down now?"

From the first magnanimous greeting from 'Mr. X', the nurse knew he was someone that wasn't always a Mushroomite, but was now. Dr. Toad stuttered through simple stuff like his name, which he blurted out initially as Drew L. Diddley-

~Where had that been seen before?

-The doctor swiftly corrected that his professional title was Dr. Toad and the CEO remained patient and kind through the rest of that stilted call.

A coldish hand surprised the nurse on his shoulder. "Complete."

The 'nurse' lifted his head, having tuned out. "Y-yeah? Yeah. What time is it?"

Dr. Toad raised his right wrist, raising one eyebrow. "Three-Twenty Eight. Did I loiter?"

He gasped. "No, just take two lefts, a right, a left again, right right left, backwards, forwards. Then you're there. Bye!" The blue toad broke into a sprint, his medical mask flying off. The round face of Bucken-Berry flushed deeply. If he didn't reach the ICU in two minutes he wouldn't be able to see his friend Ala-Gold again before the surgery.


Task list:

'Sweep cafeteria ( )'

'Restock restroom ( )'

'Hillbilly Hail -fun I promise. Seriously help! ( )'

Now that was something the junior assistant could check on the lists secretary Jr. Troopa habitually passed out. She joined the gaiety of the unorthodox ice bucketing procedure for the Mario brothers. The supervising Jr. Troopa was mindful of the spectators that weren't his staff, leaning over the thin picket fence surrounding a small spot with hay fiber substrate and crowing as if they were watching a petting zoo at that. This was serious! Luigi silently endured his shivering. Mario was more distracted at how Jr. Troopa had matured since the last time he'd seen him, now a stretched out adult, brown coily hair instead of that egg shell..

A perfectly normal looking, and thus out of place here, nurse named Laki scampered to Troopa. "Yo. Those crazy paper things were spotted again!"

Jr. Troopa paled. He wrote a note on scrap paper, handed it to the nearest nurse, and departed with the noki. His absence brought on an immediate shift, especially when the podoboo toting the note scorched it by mistake. The ranchers and villagers began to press inwards on the Marios in curiosity.

"Ain't that there Mario fella wanted up North?" they'd say.

The air stirred next to Luigi. His brother bolted and he did too. Unfortunately the fence wasn't just for hecklers, but a barrier from all sorts of dangers, like the thing that made Mario ten paces ahead vanish. Luigi stopped just in time and leaned over the precipice. His brother uncontrollably tumbled down a metal drainage half pipe. Without thinking he plunged with him. They were ejected miles away on damp clay like soil. They rolled to a stop against copper colored rock.

A locomotive horn jolted Luigi awake. The next thing Luigi remembered was a tall metal water tower glinting in the sunlight. He rolled and saw a jagged rock wall of Mt. Rugged. The K64 station was known to be up there somewhere. Something else ensnared his attention then, his brother quivering next to him.

"M-mario!?"

Remaining curled up, he held a discolored spot on his forehead. "Ouch."

Luigi crawled over, ignoring the painful rocks. "Bro. This is so bad. I mean I'll get you help but- oh man. I wanted us to get to Bowser Castle before dark!"

Mario lifted upwards. On closer inspection he was otherwise okay, aside from tattered clothes. "You can be there pronto with The Captain. Cool Blue is busy."

Luigi woefully plopped beside him. "Can we sidestep that proposition? ..Were you not tagging along?" At Mario's silence he scooped up and slung a rock hard against the mountain face. It made a faint thunk. "Mario, don't do this now! A shortcut to World 8 isn't even that far from here. Come on, we made it out of Toad Town against all odds. Don't you see? Even if I'm the main star they'll see you helped. -Oh look so you aren't secretly villainous like the stupid tabloids say! PR disaster averted and you can finally retire in peace. I'm supposed to be doing the legwork right? So." He choked up. "Go with me. Please. I don't want to do this without you.."

Luigi expected to turn and see something ugly. Instead Mario's face was covered by his hand, moving in a downward motion that ended at this goatee. "Everything you said's true. I just didn't want to be seen because of what I would say to 'him' and- Luigi, I thought I was distracted by one thing but it was two. The message-boards, the commentators, they're right and I hate it. But why should I? It's the truth. I am infatuated with my rival!"

The world seemed to melt around the green plumber, muttering to himself, "Mio fratello mi ha detto."

"-And, now I'm telling you I'm over it!"

Luigi stood up, face to face with him.

"Yes really. If Bowser doesn't care about the damage he causes, how can I keep shielding him? He's like seventeen years older than me. He should know this kind of stuff. Right?..Need a moment?"

Luigi shook himself out of it. "Actually. No."

As they retraced their path using that deathtrap drainage thing as a zigzagging guide, Mario just kept.. Talking compulsively about his ill fated plans, with dry humor at times, trying to purge the last of the folly out of him. The more he went on, the more acclimated Luigi felt because he got it- almost. Previously sympathetic to enemy species, he wasn't quite sure about the King of them..

They came upon a fractured concrete podium in the middle of nowhere, labeled ostro stop in a western font. It seemed to be targeting citizens departing the K64 as a pole with a wire from it leading to a powerline was stamped with bulletins and flyers from businesses and events in town.

"-What was the draw?" Luigi asked as Mario spammed a buzzer for service.

Mario brightened in recollection. "Strength. Ambition. Cooking. Esteem for family. And very fair. He looks at somebody and just cares that they can do the work, not how they look... Luigi, thank you for listening. And not throwing me away when you could have because… I took so much longer to accept myself compared to you.."

A great feeling in turn waft over the younger brother. "Mario, no. Thank you for letting me. I made a promise to myself once and in this whole ordeal I'd almost broken it, that I'd never get resentful ever again.."

~Not anymore, whether over a minuscule or mountain sized problem, like Papa Mario bestowing the two shiny brass keys of their plumbing shop, a master and duplicate, to Mario solely because he was the favorite. The brothers would not work the same shift very often, living even on opposite sides of Brooklyn even. If Luigi hadn't relented to an unusually disturbing call from his brother, stepping in on his Saturday off to check out some aberrant pipe problem, he might not have progressed to where he was now. He'd gotten that key finally and there was nothing holding him back.

"-I heard it the first time, dern it!"

Mario sheepishly lifted his finger from the buzzer. Staring at the back of the red shelled koopa in a blue janitorial jumper dithering over which broom to reach for in his service cart, it was clear how he'd appeared on the spot so stealthily.

"They made you fly out here to tell us? I know you're not the cabbie, but I almost feel I should compensate you anyway."

He peeped over his shoulder again, staggering in recognition. "Shoot.." He dropped the broom. "Howdy, I'm Probabilly K. Listen here, our local wacko Vick, bless his heart, sprout these here stops evrywhere' but their signaling to the central box is SLOW. Fortunately I got resources, especially this un." He lifted his right arm's sleeve to the elbow, revealing a faded with age L emblem tattoo. "Us less popular siblings gotta stick for one nuther. Whatcha need Mr. Hero?..."

"...Oh, right. We appreciate it," Luigi chuckled. "We're going to negotiate with Bowser over a few things and all we need really is.."

As his brother spoke to the old parakoopa, Mario processed how light his chest felt. It wasn't asthma developing all this time. He could breathe if his fears, invisible to most, weren't a millstone around his neck, plunged deep into the ocean.


The blue pianta bellhop rose from the binocular stand. "Yikes. It'll be gnarly, sir."

The other pianta, Hotel Delfino's day supervisor, waddled over to the parapet with him, squinting and shielding his face from the sun partially. The shimmering Dolphin Ocean stretched out as far as one could see, marred only by some darkness on the horizon. "Feel it in the bones too, brah."

"Not that, sir."

About a nautical mile away, there were two sumo bros drifting in a leaking foam inflatable raft surrounded by hungry sushi. One of the eccentrically clothed twins was a bump on a log while the other steadily pumped out water. Behind them were a mound of objects covered by a black tarp, strapped to the raft with cords. Unambiguously to the piantas, that was what weighed them down.

Sammy snapped out of his half nap and rubbed his eyes under his plastic shaded helmet. The sudden movement dumped accumulating sweat down his black shell and onto his matching cape. "Wowzers. Are there yet?"

The younger dragon/koopa Slamondon chored himself to acknowledge him. "Nay. Not enough drag accounted for in thy math as usual," he groaned. He held the hem of his magikoopa robe to tip toe towards their luggage. He was only a hardcore enthusiast, much like Sam was of sci-fi super villain Darth Koopa from Star Slammers, and of course video games, the reason why Sam slapped his paw away before he could discard a CIB NES Classic.

"No no no bro, don't do that! Lemme do my thing. Ommmmmm!" Sam squeezed his eyelids shut and plugged both ears.

The milquetoast younger brother sat his uncomfortably wet tush down and bide. The trip from Neo Bowser City so called paradise vacation was complete turmoil. At this stage in life, a semester away from graduation, Slam despised his role as his brother's sitter. While Sam could divine the most absurd and find the hypotenuse in a blink, he had not mastered tasks of an elementary sort, like paying light bills on time. Otherwise Slam could have taken his forty percent share of their Play-N-Tirade franchise and ran off to open the renaissance park he always wanted.

A jet ski tore through the waters, tearing him from that reverie. The rider aimed around a handheld harpoon to scare away the sharks. "Aloha." She waved, a cute gal in a purple patterned bikini, white flowery necklace draped loosely over her shoulders. "Need help?"

"Aye f-fair madame," Slam stammered, blushing. "Saveth us, we have bountiful treasures aboard this ship!"

Sam peeped one eye open with a smug grin. "-Oh hi totally hot lifeguard I summoned."

"~Actually Hotel Delfino called me on you two, hehe." She dropped the charade and murmur. "(Cause if it was YOU calling me on you, I wouldna shown up.)"

Sam gave her a tauntingly dorkish laugh. "Suuure? I dunno, I just felt like being rescued by a 'Valerie'. 27. Born in a winter month like Rebmeced? Who studies finance abroad at Mushroom Collage and just bought a B-Dasher in red and whose boyfriend just got arrested for..."

Her jaw dropped expression mirrored Slam's for his brother's hubris never lead to anything easily undone.

"What happened, brah?"

"Oh you don't know why five of our lifeguards fainted like that? Eh, whatever, brah. I have a backup on call. Welcome to Hotel Delfino!"

The bellhop held the door open for the dripping wet sumo bros, inviting them into the moodily lit lobby inundated with waiting vacationers of all sorts. Slam got them onto land in the first place by stuffing his brother's mouth with one of those body pillows so that he couldn't freak out the six rescuer in a row. By then however, the twelve o'clock check outs were out and these innumerable other folk were ready to pounce. The sumo bros were prompted to utilize the ticket dispenser.

'#444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444', and on, bleeding off the receipt paper in red ink.

Sam slid up his glasses, too adept at calculations to fathom that number waiting in here, let alone the entire hemisphere. It had to be a glitch. Slam caught a devious gleam behind his brother's naturally cloudish eyes and detected trouble, redux!

The desk receptionist stamped documents in a tray. "Hey. Don't come up brah, unless your number-"

Sam slapped down the error ticket, puffing out his thick chest. "But we're reserved for sho. Prospectors straight outta Goldbobbington's. We gotta comb the beach and our bodies are ready."

The stamp slipped from the pianta's mits.. "Ooooh that, my apologies sir, I remember everything you are talking about." He cradled a landline phone between his shoulder and neck while simultaneously clacking on his computer. "I will find space, sir. Uh, please in the meantime help yourself to the bar. On the house. Mention my name."

Sam broke off to the adjacent tiki bar, taking up two stools as he ordered one of everything. As the bartender worked away Slam sat beside him, struggling to find the stool with the neon lights everywhere.

"I dare say you dazzle even me now," he whispered in his ear. He cherished these magical moments when that giant gob of Sam's actually did something favorable. -Like when Sam manipulated that dark boo reporter into passing around Fungus Up yesterday. They were out that wretched Toad Town so quickly it was like they'd dropped a potion at their feet and they went 'poof'. Slam propped his elbow on the bar and leaned on it, not a partaker of the 'dizzying elixirs' as he put it, watching the sports bar tv on MKNN. On the bottom banner, intertwined with stalk market data, it mentioned 'Public Address' at Toad Town today. Blech!

Sam slammed his empty glass down. "Urp! .. Hey, lemme have our shop wire our Princess Parlor profits over." His fat fingers dialed their Play-N-Tirade number as additional fruity looking cocktails were lined up for him. "No answer, but coolio I'll leave a message. Now, let's catch up with Iggster!"

Once upon a time, Sky Land was known as the kingdom with the most marvelous view of the stars. As the composition of the atmosphere changed, those celestial bodies were blotted gradually. Increasingly common cloud coverage draped their land and their spirits. One day the people channeled all their might, one-hundred laborious years, to reach the astral realm they revered and contain it for themselves with a spiraling limestone tower taller than any before. The King and his domestics from greatest to least discarded their terrene life. The tower was thus made inaccessible from intruders and the land at its base to go rural, though it could still be seen near the coast. It was known as an impervious but awesome sight.

Lemmy Koopa brought it into focus from another altitudinous, but not nearly as much, tower of enemy origin a few miles away with a coin operated telescope. Iggy's VR headset ran out of power. The lankier younger brother would know, because he swapped the battery from it to his cellphone to preserve it running a little longer. It paid off when it chimed suddenly of 'Super Plumber Sonata', his ringtone from Koopa Ball Z.

He took one step- and forgot his leg was sprang. He tripped forward, knocking the cellular phone off of the rail and down the very long staircase below. It flumped around for what felt like five minutes.

Lemmy stared down the shaft long rough to get vertigo.

"It's totally okay Lemmy-sama. I had an intemperate glass installed."

"You mean temperate glass?"

"No."

Lemmy turned to him with concern. "Is your head still feeling funny?"

"Yep. Still a scratched DVD suffering losing of data integrity and sputtering right before the best part."

"..Maybe Ludwig on the ground floor is doing better.." The rainbow hair koopaling shrunk another inch. He was praying he wouldn't have to be the sole one to break it to Larry, Bowser, virtually everyone about last night.

At the Hotel Defino tiki bar, there was nothing going on except for Sammy scaring off anyone in the near proximity, though he did win coins in bets over guessing stranger's underwear colors.

Embarrassed second hand, Slam lifted his robe over his head. Thunder was rumbling and through one window he saw staff chaining down the beach chairs outside. Solar sensing night lights were scattered on the beach. Meanwhile, Sam's phone buzzed on the counter from Iggy's number. He picked it up.

"Y O UR P UN IS H MEN NT I S IMMIN E NT, " stabbed through one ear and exited the other.

With a deafening thunder crack everything went completely dark.

Palm trees were twisting, rain was beating on the windows, and a group of petrified beach goers clambered indoors as the building moaned and creaked under high winds. The last of which, a yoshi flopped to the floor panting.

"High…ground man…high ground.. NOW!"

The waiter felt her way around. "Alright. Bar closed."

Slam obediently slid off the stool, heart thumping. He played the classics. Bad things happened in the Pitch Dark. He reached for Sam who remained slumped over the counter. Thinking he was intoxicated, Slam hunkered down, ready to carry him off when the emergency lights kicked on. The robed brother emitted a high pitched noise. From Sam's snout flowed deep crimson blood. The glimmer in his wide open eyes had extinguished.


"Great to see you. My plans have evolved from wishful thinking to reality and your timing is impeccable." Dr. Toad's words flowed smoothly, eased in the presence of the associate, fire forged to be a pseudo 'friend'..maybe. This one had been a member of the Special World Hospital from the outset, ironically as a detractor and somewhat benighted at that. Presently however, he was the only of three Dr. Toad invited that had shown up.

"That's amazing, Drew."

"You will do the talking, will you?"

The hammer brother gave the toad a thumbs up.

They proceeded to the stage, bales of hay stacked three high with rickety wooden boards on top, plucked fresh from Nintendo Depot. The hammer brother garnered an expected reaction with his loose fitting doctor's coat that he clearly rarely wore, and his attempt at hiding his hippyish stringy long hair in a ponytail, but he didn't combat anything. A taciturn Dr. Toad trailed with his head down, hands tucked into deep pockets.

"Greetings everyone. I'm Dr. John Topper, but you can call me Dr. T." The jabber silenced quickly at his captivatingly excitable tone. "-Haha. So I'm with Dr. Toad here from the International Medical University of Special World. Our institution is lucky enough to have a fragment of Dr. Mario's case study on the first outbreak of the Mushroom Flu. -Yeah- uh huh? ..No, you heard me. So, in light of that tragic Bowser attack, we have chosen to assist you all the best we can with that matter!"

That previously critical snickering bunch erupted in praise. Without a proper announcement that it adjourned, many took off right away giddy with news.

"By the way it should only take forty-four hours maximum to formulate a new cure!" Dr. Topper yelled at their backs essentially.

In the scuttle, they bumped the rearmost observant off the stack of library books he was using to watch over the cowboy hats in the crowd. Getting up and cursing, he would have severely hurt the one who did it if they weren't whisked away on an ostro by now. Instead, he dusted himself off and snapped back to his picture perfect presentation. Shoving the books into his backpack he dragged it to the nearest public bench. The longish trip back to the library was unattractive and the heat of direct sunlight did not bother him.

"What, Jackson?"

"You didn't tell me you have that Dr. Mario thing! Why ain't that in a museum? How? Where?"

"An associate yet to arrive has it. He found it in his previous job with Sir Grodus."

Troopa gasped. "Drew, your hiring is.. Questionable."

"Yes," he beamed proudly, hooking his arm though the koopa's. "And I will tell you more about it inside."

Troopa seemed to play along until they reached his office door. He swung it open, letting a few boxes spring out over their heads. "Oops. We gotta problem. No room with all your junk!"

"I have not set up the lab yet and you are aware, that is the way it used to be at home. My therapist told me if the pathways are clear I'm not a hoarder." he trailed, the door shutting behind them.

Golly, the reader on the bench was just about to toss a heavy book to make them get a room. Thankfully they had, but now there was something else keeping him from diving into a green bound book.

"Oww! Hey no need to push me like that…. I don't keep coins on me if that's … Oh that was a rental for the airport.. All I have is boring medical stuff stacked here, see-?"

"Quit, before we fold ya a couple times over!" They had a southern affection, yet an eerily robotic timbre. After a hollow pop lots of glass shattered.

The reader hopped off the bench and rushed towards the commotion, exhilarated by the call of action. Blocking the entirety of the back alley space were humongous amalgamations paper and metal scaffolding, one an effigy of a goomba and a snifit in outlaw getup. Dr. Topper, bleached white, was laying on top of sparkly glass shards. The hybrid electricity coup kart had a dent in the front matching his shell. The Paper Macho gang members spun at the onlooker.

"Stay outta this." Barked the other one, the snifit. In spite of their hollow emotionless gape the malice and severity was apparent. The observer should back off and get some help.

-Now way! Captain Toad pretended to take a step back, then launched his heavy backpack at the Macho Snifit. It fired- 'pop' 'pop' 'pop' his way, the high velocity cork plugs bouncing off the walls. It was too late, The Captain was upon him grabbing and ripping the weapon carrying arm from the socket. The paper pieces disintegrated in his palm, leaving the cap gun. The Captain fired it back at the paper soldier, piercing holes in through its body, snapping the metal skeleton and striking the 'weak point' on his back. Its form exploded with a blast that shot the toad backwards against the shanty metal tiles of the office building. The macho goomba outlaw standing in its partner's wake had no reaction short of fleeing the opposite way, nearly trampling over the hammer brother moaning in pain.

The Captain also stepped over the downed doctor absently. He followed the outlaw as it barged through a wooden fence and towards a red barn with a breach in the sliding door from being jaggedly eaten into. He found inside it six foot tall dinosaur robots against the wall deactivated, a gaming pc with multi-monitor setup, and in the far rear mechanical parts from vehicles, computers, farm equipment, and radios in rusty piles. Matching teeth marks were all of those, if the outlaw discovered in the middle of the pile wasn't conclusive enough.

The Captain spun the pop gun around his finger. The outlaw's final expression as it ate cork was, again, nothing at least on the outside.

Jr. Troopa was the foremost scuttling around paranoid, paw hovering over his own pop gun like thing in a holster on his hip, obviously too late. "Laki and I didn't see anything conclusive at the first warning man. I'm so sorry!"

"It's only the wind knocked out of me. I used to, well, be adventurous. I'll be fine." Dr. Topper sent away the ukiki nurse. "Thank you. I should have watched my back more. It's my fault really and I'm ready to get back on track. The integrity of our equipment is perfect and they never touched it. I don't know who that belongs to, however."

A Pidgit nurse bent at a rugged backpack. "Sir it's filled with bricks. I mean books.. Lost and found it is!"

Troopa's disquietude got the best of him and decided to clean up the glass and paper himself, rather than try to cajole anyone else. He dropped the pan to the ground and got to sweeping stiffly, when he felt eyes on him . Lividly he lifted his head..

"I get it, Drew. I suck at this."

The doctor stepped closer, more than necessary. Jr. Troopa was used to that socially awkward habit and being breathed on considering their history as mates.

"What did you do wrong?"

So now he was being sarcastic? Oh wait. No he wasn't.

"Everything. When you got past Mr. X I knew I really had to stop being a loser. I've screamed, I've been nice, now I'm trying to print reminders and lists for the junior assistants- nothing works. I can hardly contain 'em! Now I ignore a tip about these paper outlaw creeps and they almost bi-fold your worker dude."

"You need only more experience."

A straight fact, like a slap in his face. In a good way. "Yeah. I'm not hanging the saddle up Drew, but this is gonna be a bluesy day.."

"-You know the cure for that ailment, don't you?"

Jr. Troopa found himself wrapped up in his embrace. The doctor taller, Troopa's snout pressed against his pocket protector and remained from the initial shock of it. He could see through the white coat that Drew's undershirt had *gasp* some sort of bright pattern and color? Such progress from the old days..

"-How do you like my holistic approach?"

"Better than your hoard my room one."

By the time The Captain returned to the scene, what was left was mostly multicolored confetti, the kart, and-

"-Oh. Hello… Blessings unto you gentlemen." His face hardened at something that wasn't there and should have. The toad and the koopa quickly separated, but he didn't care about that.

"That, uh, that was your's?" Troopa answered. "Lost and Found, hehe. And Probabilly runs it so it's locked now cause he aint there. Had to take the Mario bros somewhere around the coast."

Captain Toad wavered at the latter half of that. "The Marios are-"

"Gone. Yeah. Why are you here anyway? Did you help Dr. T?"

The Captain locked onto a particular detail of the kart. "And I ask only for this as compensation." He slipped into the driver's seat and slung that kart out of the alleyway.


"In the good ol days, Billy usta drive 'round with Jimmy M. like this.." Probabilly mumbled, initially to his guests but as time went on himself now as the tractor like Dragonfly vehicle putt at his max speed. "Then the coins from the inspections came rollin in. They upgraded in a jiffy."

Old mushroom rock buzzed from the AM radio, the type not even Toadsworth would listen to. One tune however got the green plumber in the back seat rocking to the cheesy synths and background singer harmonies. The Keptos 'Darkness in the Light'.

They could have made better time from town to the Desert Land peninsula if the driver could not change his mind so much about the exact route, but that irritation faded when scaling over more sand dune, they made it. They thanked the paratroopa and ran the rest of the way, right into Water Land. The sky was cloudless and so much more blue and some of the kays and islands beyond in the glassy waters were just the type one could escape to forever.

Luigi turned his brother lingering around at the pier. "You okay?"

Mario spotted him at the local toad house, closed up for the season. It sombered Mario somewhat, for the golden pipes they now featured was a component of the Peace Pact of yore.

"-S-sure."

"Sure?"

"Let's-a go!"

"That's better, bro. …Well, geronimo!"

Mario caught up, rolling his eyes playfully. When he dropped in the warp was near instantaneous, his vision going black. He was smack suddenly with water, everywhere. There was a reason an seasoned pipe traveler held their breath. He swam upwards to the light, emerging from the sea seconds later. "Ah!" he exclaimed at the Koopa King's humongous mug- in statue form. It was the dislodged entrance to Bowser Castle, the sea level to the statue's nostrils.

"Up here!"

Luigi pulled Mario onto the structure. The red plumber rolled on his back, chest heaving. The sky was red with purple clouds and it rained in a mildly acidic way that didn't feel too great. It was Dark Land for sure. There were some higher elevations here and there, a volcano peak, but otherwise nothing else but murky waters.

"-Omg this is so stupid!" wailed an orange toad girl paddling around on a floating painting. Through the discoloration it was a forgery of Peach's 'Lethal Lava Land'. Luigi was poked after his brother gawk at her long enough.

"Long story but that's Bowser's fan girl! She must have left with him last night. Wow.. and she doesn't recognize us out of our usual clothes. If we don't get her back or something we won't reach the pipe."

Luigi gulped hard. Their golden pipe that originated from the aether was suspended about ten feet above the water and could fade away any moment. Luigi found a flat part of Bowser's face to stand on- difficult actually, and stood shouting a phrase he knew in Darklandian.

The girl made a deep bank, a 180. "Like, seriously? If you are really diplomats from Jewelry Land? Why do you look like hobos?"

Mario gave a start, but recovered. "So we aren't robbed, sweetheart. We were going to propose a gold bar deal but we lost it when we took a dunk just now. Any room for us?"

She seemed incredulous, maintaining a distance too far to jump. "King would have really accepted you in his castle? Prove it. I want a real fact about King that I don't even know, ha," she teased. Now it was blatant she did not really intend to assist.

"Bowser has a brother," Mario said.

She giggled. "I admit that's obscure, but not to me."

It stung him to go further. This had the potential to hurt the Koopa King in a different way than bopping him on the head, but if Bowser himself was to be believed regarding how much that toad girl worshiped him, she would understand to not misuse this information. "-Who's expunged name is Clarentine."

When the Mario brothers returned to Water Land, they knew they had major reformulating to do. That must have been the more wet and sloppy Bowser Badlands they'd visited by mistake. A screw up somewhere in the warp system, or-

"-Mr. Mario, Mr. Luigi.. Weren't you missing something on that expedition?"

Captain Toad leaned against the hood of an eco-friendly bubble shaped kart that had also been shot and and lost its windshield, visibly chafed for a split second before he plastered on a glimmering smile. They stood still, puzzled. The Captain used that opportunity to stroll past them left and right like a little sergeant, hands clasped behind his back.

"..Did something go awry, If I may venture?"

"Yes," Luigi finally answered. "We took a wrong turn. We think."

"So unfortunate. If only you had a toad to accompany you."

"Captain we've appreciated your help until now but that wasn't the issue-"

"Mr. Hero, you know how this works," The Captain began patronizingly before he caught himself. "An adventurer needs a brigade so that everyone's talents may contribute and prevent such disappointments. Might I mention that I've honed a technique recently that can lead us to anyone's exact location? It could be the princess. Or Bowser."

Mario found his words. "Stan, show us!"


The catharsis from crying openly was the only thing holding the blue toad together. Ala-Gold couldn't be fixed on the operating table. They did another MRI scan and it was worse than before. When Bucken-Berry accepted the practitioner's 30 percent chance of recovery yesterday, it might as well have been 300. There was no way Gold would go out like this. Today, forced at this point to remain in the waiting room, it felt like zero…

Should he just inform the others- from the castle? Or could that endanger them with his Mario connection? Or was he too early, could some miracle still- Forget it. He could at least contact Ala-Gold's family. His husk took a seat and scrolled through his friend's address book. It omitted any relatives. Oh yeah.. He used to always be jealous that Gold had a big family back at Ricco Harbor, as apathetic as they were about him living afar. Now.. like seriously did it even make sense to be mad about the small stuff?

"Hey. You're his co-worker-" A stern stranger, an orange yoshi in a tux, gave Bucken-Berry's hand a perfunctory shake, holding roses in his other. "Do you know where Mr. Toad is staying? I think my niece is close by," he mentioned grittily.

Bucken-Berry pointed down a hallway, where that guy shortly went. Another visitor for Mr. Toad. Did anyone care about Gold like he did though? Boiling inside, Blue fought against the pavlovian urge to smash something. He rose to his feet, lifted the metal chair over his head-

"Sir I- Nevermind! Eeeekkk!"

Thomas screamed and ran out the hospital entirely, which made some others turn and look at who remained, Bucken-Berry, like he was some freak. The blue toad dropped the chair and rushed outdoors as well. His vision blacked out from the bright sun, so that he collided face first into the metal sheet siding of the adjacent building. He fell backwards into a puddle of viscous mud, toppling over a high stack of metal buckets with him. Many water lines were there, evident by the large pipes going underground and a leaky faucet.

Thomas stepped up slowly. "I was going to say something but.. I f-forgot..."

Bucken-Berry leaned upwards and glared. "Chill it, kid. I wasn't gonna... Did I look like I was gonna? Well I wasn't. Okay? I just look like a bob-omb with a lit fuse, like naturally but I'm working on it okay? Now piss off!"

"Doesn't sound like it…. Sorry again sir." Thomas quickly backed off, and then changed his mind. He drew something in the soil with his heel. "I came from there and was taken by Koopa Troop when I was about five. It's been tough I suppose, though it did not dawn how much until I came here and compared my life to your kind."

Bucken-Berry was standing by then. There was once a such thing as sanctioned nomads, the reason why toads could be the exceeding demographic nonnative areas. Etched down there was Prism Island's crest. Talk about remote. "Where are you getting at, kid? I've been told enough that I shouldn't be angry because I'm privileged enough to work in the princess's castle and be Mario's assistant on adventures and other crap. I'm not some computer running on a formula. What, happiness = good stuff / bad stuff if good bad? "He sighed heavily. "That came from Gold. He was a geek like that."

"O-of course not, sir. I was going to share..I.. thought we had something in common."

"Like what?"

"We both think Mr. Ala-Gold is a cool guy."

He had to stab him like that. Little punk. In a good way this time. "Kid, duh he was! And smart. He crossed over from Ricco Harbor in a canoe using his homemade compass and the stars alone. He'd memorize level maps and let our timer run out finding hidden blocks. Mario would be pissed! And also he never lost his head like I do…" He gaze remained on his muddy boots. "Enough yapping out here. I don't want to keep freaking you out. Hang out with The Captain."

"Oh, right. That was his name, I'm bad with those sir. I was with him before, at the public library but, he was too passionate about the subject."

"That's not a real criticism according to Toadette, but go on."

"Yeah so, I haven't seen him in a while, but his backpack is out there. Think he has snacks in it?"

"Now you're thinking kid. "

Probabilly had returned and the lost and found items were openly displayed under the hospital's front porch. Bucken-Berry ogled at several books, a 'Ex spatio obiecti specialem lexicon', a snapping Bookend, a Dark Prognosticus reproduction, and an emerald green book on Magikoopa rites in authentic Darklandian. They were lined up like- evidence!

A memory rushed back to Blue, taking his breath away.

Snifit Patrol's Evidence on Zoo #5, small painting, Assemblation by artist Drew L. D."

Their saving grace was Zoo's brother.


Peach's knees briefly buckled after the first row of stairs, speckled steadily from rain, leading to the entrance of a tall tower, rising into the darkening clouds even. The kooapling quickened his pace to reach her but with Toadsworth over his sore shoulders, by the time he'd gotten there she was already scraping herself back up.

"I am well, dear.." she spoke preemptively. "I've had these dizzy spells all my life. I."

"Oh.… Hey, hold up. Can we please just go somewhere else?"

"It seems inclined to storm rather badly. We are on foot."

"But dad is coming here too!"

"I may persuade him again is all."

Did she not realize that he WANTED to get away from them and this could 'out' him?

The teenager bit back that rush of fear. The princess was already at the large medieval door, tapping with the knocker.

"Peach," he tried one more time. "Umm. I lost our, you know, letters from last night in that twister or whatever. What did you mean in that last one?"

The princess ceased the tapping. Larry's breath was bated as she stood very still, so intensely when the tower's door moved open with a loud creek, he almost lost his footing.

Ludwig stood in the arch. He was a little pallid, but he must have thought he felt great. His arms were folded and his nose raised. "Why did you come here?"

"-I know right? See?! That's what I was saying Peach," Larry started, before he thought about it. Did he hear them? Was Luddy on his side or..

Ludwig's head lowered, revealing his smirk, "You will soon wish you were swept away by the deluge."


Author note: Didn't like the month long development time here, but there is a lot of fresh material compared to the old story, plus real life stuff happened during the date span below. Could be worse!

There are two references here to original franchises of mine, or adjacent enough. 'Star Slammers' and 'Nintendo Depot'.

Created: 6/14/22, 6/15 - 6/18, 6/23, 6/24, 6/25, 6/28, 7/1, 7/3 -7/7, 7/8 -7/10, 7/11(lol), 7/13, 7/14