Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
Separation Anxiety (Chapter 15)
Disclaimer: Mario and co belongs to Nintendo
Author's Note: Some of our characters have been segregated by events for too long.. It won't last forever. Time to move things along and get pretty real.
Content warning (seriously): Heavy themes
Far less seriously: a Leslie West joke, which I only warn about became some might be too young to get it.
Stunned, the Lakitu Bro's film kept rolling…
"Remember what the flyers that brought you here stated. They were going to take only toads up North. IF YOU ARE NOT A TOAD, YOU ARE NOTHING TO THEM." Booigi dropped the podium mic to the ground, the thunk of it ringing over them.
"-Freeze! You're under arrest!" ordered Snifit Patrol, doing a stylish barrel roll before the boo. He aimed his taser.
"Are you with them?" Booigi questioned, low and gritty like.
"Positively! I am a sworn justice enforcer for Toad TooOOOOWN!" he wailed, flying in the sky.
Booigi launched him higher than the clouds with a glowing green tennis racket. The snufit disappeared with a twinkle that dropped a ball of chaos on the castle grounds. Spectators trampled over each other down Royal Raceway and through the lake in the panic to escape, some crunching on fragmented glistening and steadily melting icy remains of the King's representative without realizing it.
A whizzing ball of light missed by a hair, drawing the boo toward the princess's corner of the property hedges, followed by additional erratic shots from the lone scared guard. Her backup huddled with her for cover and unleashed a fury of blasts across Peach's yard, ripping apart all remaining bushes and trees, scorching and chipping the remains of the castle, and creating innumerable trenches in the lawn. The boo went intangible and and when the reappeared away from the warzone, and lower at the sand path, a guard thought it wise to sneak behind them. Booigi backhandedly bashed his face in with the racket. As he crumpled backwards to the ground, an engine started up to the right, a crowded battle tank tearing across the lake shore. A red bullet bill was shot. Booigi flash of trepidation before teleporting. Their beady eyes sparkled with glee upon watching the bullet arc and latch to the target, them, now standing behind the tank!
Like it was suddenly a clown car, a ridiculous amount of guards scurried out, the last and largest getting stuck halfway out the hatch. As he begged for help, two seconds away from mince meat, Booigi registered that square jawed one as one of Saul's aides moments ago…
The explosion rocked the area a second time. Those that had managed to get miles away could spot the black plume on the horizon. As debris and smoldering shrapnel from the tank and explosives rain, a boo diddley reappeared at lake shore opposite of the castle. Booigi dropped Benedict onto his back.
"I saved you this time, but your league will blame. Torture. And kill you," Booigi whispered matter of factly, raising afterwards and vanishing totally from the property.
Benedict remained sprawled on the mud and clay, paralyzed. He watched comrade's boots move in and out of the scope of his vision, in search for the killer and barking into their radios. Familiar hands of someone yanked him to his feet. He received a clear picture of Jon, panting and scowling.
"Ben you idiot. I saw you way from across the lake and I had to leave the castle brats behind to get over here. You've mess up!"
Ben nodded, pressing something into his squadron mate's hand.
Ignoring the other guard steadily jotting the incident down to his side, Jon speechlessly watched Ben stumble towards the lake again, continuing in the blue waters until it reached to his knees, then thigh, waist, shoulders, head… When bubbles rose from a spot, Jon opened his sweaty palm. Ben's nickel dog tag was in it.
A group of young people of various sizes and shapes gawked.
"Raven! Jim! It's not like that!" Wendy shouted in between her butterfly strokes toward the pontoon.
"Gosh Wendy.. You got us shook.." The goomba girl jumped back when the koopaling princess climbed aboard. Astonishment faded away and a glare swept across her punk rebellious features, the dudette sporting spiky purple hair and gold facial piercings. "You knew what your father was doing, so don't try to cry to us now!"
"His ploy to drive people like us out of our homes and into his clutches has fallen flat!" added her boyfriend Jim, a boomerang bro in a trench coat and white trilby. This roused the other adolescents to murmur in favor. "What cha got to say to us now?"
The princess wrung the water from her strands of hair beneath the mask flag embroidered with her own hammer bro hammer and blue winged anvil symbol of the Adolescent Anti-Monarchy Faction. She'd founded and was a nuisance with such during a 'phase' back in eighth grade, before, as many her age did, flip-flopping back to proud princess land. The seventeen year old was sheepishly remembering she might have neglected some friends in the process.
"So I'll spill the tea. Yeah, I've been trying to rise rank in Daddy's oppressive forces but.. This changes everything!"
The punk goomba girl's lip continued to curl. "You cereal?"
"Uh, yas? I wish the ocean was mine, but it's not so we're technically all equal now in this Kingdom. It's totes gonna be great here. Dad want's only like, one fortress and it'll be different, especially if I become his general. I'm cereal."
Under deafening silence, Wendy's blue eyes breezed over everyone in the boat, the familiars and the not, awaiting their response with bated breath.
…
King Bowser, stuffed in the bridge, was getting feisty. "Get us to the tower already, Johnson!"
"Aye aye, King Bowser!" The cadet's jaw clenched. His muscles burned trying to keep the ship on course, more akin to a rubber cataquack in a circling drain. It would be worse, the green koopa troopa kept reminding himself. He was against all odds still alive as a lowly navigator, the type not even deemed good enough at fighting to be placed in the early levels, and one of only one thousand officially tallied before the flood swept them away. He'd dare not say it, but it was all Kammy's fault!
Bang!
"Yowch! Grrr… Look where you're going!" Bowser roared after they crashed into the tower, pelting the small crew with bricks.
The Koopa King shook off the masonry and ordered evacuation to the exposed floor. It was dark and musty inside with web filled corridors, mousers, and rusted chains ominously piled around. Bowser froze before the hole they'd made, looking out into the water. His daughter remained on the pontoon arguing with those kids, some of which were holding flaming molotovs. The commotion held that group up enough that other Koopa Troop overtook them. Minions began to block Bowser's view as they abandoned ship and scuttled rapidly to safety, stepping over his toes.
"People come back!"
"Yes my son," answered Kamek.
"We gotta save my daughter from those losers!"
The magikoopa conjured up an iron three block high Bill Blaster. "Lord Bowser, should a ship attempt to antagonize, the troop is preparing weapons on the upper floors. We can pierce her soft walls, send smoke up her aft, and leave her sinking and hopeless!"
'Wow grandpa really hates whatever girl he's talking about', Bowser Junior thought, otherwise bored with the adult conversation already.
Junior wandered away, shimmying past Ludwig hustling down the damp steps against the flow of the rest of the troop. "Vater…I'm.. ready to resume command.. Is my.. Dear.. sister.. still in peril?"
Bowser approvingly nodded him over. "Not anymore now that you're here.. Ready, aim."
Lemmy emerged from the corridor a second later, winded as if he'd been unsuccessfully chasing someone on foot. He brushed aside whatever his problem was joined in. Shooting stuff was fun after all.. Ludwig with his brother's assistance slid the cannon about twenty degrees to aim at the boat with the rebels and the precious koopaling hostage a quarter of a nautical mile away. Bowser stretched his dominant arm out pointing, the signal for-
"DADDY!" Wendy shouted through a megaphone. "We're all totes cool now."
"-FIRE- wha huh?.. What?"
…
The newly christened Bowser Tower had a constant rumble from the collective movements of minions zipping to and fro somewhere on its fifty floors. The flood rising above ground level, scavenged items from the ships were sorted through the docking station, technically that breach they'd created before, except with hazard lights tacked on. Others were furnishing rooms with amenities, repairing things, establishing quarters, etcetera.
"..Yes daddy, they've told all of their five million online friends about how great you are gave you five stars on Welp dot com."
Bowser checked his slowly loading reviews on his dumbphone. His heart skipped a beat, not at 'Bowser Castle 444 Dark Drive' bumping from 1.5 to 4.7 stars in the past hour, rather because Mario had blown his phone up more severely than he would when they had a golfing match that didn't go his way or lost in an eating contest. He quickly hid the screen against his plastrum, flushing.
"Daddy yaaaas!" Wendy sqeed. "I'm excited too. They are gonna vote for me for governor of Neo Bowser City, which they can totes do even if we're not in Dark Land." Her entire little crowd smiled and waved from off to the side.
"Huh?"
"Monday daddy.. Oh my gosh.. You're so silly!" she giggled.
Bowser considered for a little moment if that's what Ludwig was so anxious over and wanting to earn something for with this elaborate scheme. It frustrated him that Mario scheduled all those sports on the weekend leading up to it. The complicated arrangement between his domain and that city in particular with its own separate sovereign had to have come up in one of their conversations… Oh maybe.. That WAS why! Bowser had admitted discontentment that Mayor Koton, whom he had history with, being replaced might stir the pot. It only made him yearn more for a moment away to speak to that plumber. He cleared his throat, catching heat on his face again.
"-That's clever girl but I can't tolerate vote solicitation... SEND THEM TO OUR NEW DUNGEON!" Bowser ordered. Immediately soldiers scooped Wendy's friends away.
The distaff koopaling dropped to the ground kicking and screaming and bawling, "Daddy noooooo! What do you even care? You said you were removing your name from that place anyway because it has little to do with you anymooooooore!"
He covered his ears. "…HEY! Babydoll. Whadda make you stop?"
"Weeeell," she began, propped up on one elbow. "I wanna help with KT stuff. Make a change, ya know. Better to do something sooner than later. Make me.. Lieutenant!"
Simultaneously Ludwig and Thwomp #3, one of several minions eavesdropping while they were supposed to be working, randomly choked on something in the background.
Annoyed, Bowser stomped hard, "THIS IS FAMILY BUSINESS!" The rattled nonrelatives filed out. "Now, I need this drama over before our official discourse in five minutes. What are we gonna do?"
The blue haired koopaling had tucked into his shell partially, only his messy hair and busy eyebrows showing, which promptly furrowed. "Nevermind this. I am shielding everyone from my newly obtained contagion and I absolutely cannot accept-"
Wendy sniffled very loud, lip wavering. The commander's mind raced, weighing one unfavorable option with another..
"-Any substitutions besides my dear sister Wendy O..."
…
An ingrained habit, Peach felt the span of her holding space, her ungloved fingers, she'd lost them in the flood, gliding over jagged bricks. By estimate it was half the size of that gaudy waiting room at Bowser's Castle. Somberly she slid down to the floor, facing the other occupant. Wonderful. Already downgrading. Maybe not entirely if that mustached person was awake.
"Are you still cold dear?" She'd hugged him before and received a stabbing chill in return. He'd shrunk from her touch since.
"Hm!" Toadsworth broke out of meditation and wrapped his arms around himself in an exaggerated fashion. "Brrrr, just a bit princess. I did erm, explain did I? I'll manage… Will you ever detail that.. 'Pillar of Understanding' you encountered?"
It worked the mushroom up so much at first mention, it seemed like unwise discourse if he felt lousy. "It is under water now anyway. Why are you convinced it's supernatural?"
"Because… Did you touch it, Princess?'"
"I cannot recall.. I strolled close and had a daydream," she mentioned offhandedly. "When I came to, I decided we should rejoin Bowser, and it was wise. Now rest. Please! He has dozens of ships at the ready, and we'll be on one of them sailing away any moment."
Toadsworth hoped so. He didn't know if it was deleterious effects of the Gravitational Pull or not, but something was wrong with his body.
…
Lemmy huffed and marched away into the cramped stairwell. It was complete poo and soooo out of left field that Wendy had coveted his position all along. If Ludwig really thought she could abet him better, so be it. To march to his 'room' he had to climb to the 49th floor which would be the koopaling's eventually. It currently housed one mattress they'd reclaimed, Roy's, so he was in fact lounging on it and no one but him was gonna touch that thang..
"-Get outta my face, Mort!"
Lemmy stopped and peeped around one of many columns in the dusty room.
"I am thinking about your downfall. Your doom. Your undoing."
"My freakin what?" Larry shuddered. "Shut yo fat face! I don't care what that creepy Sentry dug up on me. Why would I work with Peach? I was just.. tryin' ta score!"
While the koopalings collectively fell short of a perfect record against pesky plumbers, Larry principally had the worse win rate, outright forfeiting his World 1 fortress during the last pre-Peace Pact KT siege. He retreated from the others since and like the Iggy bullying problem, Lemmy feared he'd taken notice of this too late..
Morton lazily leaned against some of the family stacked chests. "That is a more acceptable, textbook explanation I admit, however you said some 'problematic' things in that letter as our sister put it. Do you really wish to those stars on occasion or happenstance, about renouncing princehood and starting over in that Mushroom Kingdom?" He snorted.
Larry's punches did little with his brother's thick scales. "Ahhhhhg!"
Lemmy stepped out. "Stoooop!"
"I was only grilling this lameo traitor!" the sixteen year old retorted.
Lemmy inserted himself between them, which was gutsy in hindsight when they were taller and stronger than him. He continued with resolve, "Mushroom folks are just people and there's nothing wrong with wanting a job outside of Dad's army either!"
That got the tanned koopaling to straighten up and wipe away those smug looks. Lemmy wasn't expecting Larry to do anything too sappy other than grunt some form of thank you, but he didn't even get that. The blue haired teenager brushed past him hard enough to make him lose balance.
"I'm sure you wouldn't have bothered if you still had somethin' to lose," Larry hissed, leaving Morton bewildered and Lemmy hating he'd made that impression with the timing of it all.
Lemmy strove to hunt him down again. Was he up or down? He tried up, the rooftop seemed like an obvious brood spot. Instead he came upon someone standing rigidly straight, unaffected by the light patter of rain. A backpack with a mechanical purr was strapped to the lanky koopaling, with an invention to 'solve' his memory lapse. The amalgamation of his VR headset, parts from the coin operated binocular station with digital zoom, and his cell phone, created a twisted bunch of exposed circuits and wires sprouting from his forehead, redolent of a sci-fi movie.
"-I have assimilated all idiosyncrasies of the being: Ignitus H Koopa. Status at 70 percent of memories. Currently archiving footage of first Koopa Ball try out. The one that birthed embarrassing nickname of 'Icky Iggy' in High School. Awaiting further command."
Forgetting what he was doing, Lemmy stared at the incidental patterns in the glossy stone tile. "Our sister kinda stole that privilege from me?.."
"OMG?!" Ignitus Delta gasped. The cyborg's shoulders rolled, some life seeping in. "Hey, again. I just Alt Controlled so this really is me. Yikes, what happened? Well no time, sorry. While that stuff is processing or whatever I'm just gonna check up on Sam and Slam all the way at Isle Delfino with my rocket attachment. You did say I should stand up to them and these cybernetic enhancements have bestowed such confidence. Laters."
"Iggy!"
"-Here's a decoy in the meantime and I will totally return to avenge you and defeat the Wendy O menace. Up up and away!"
Lemmy was blasted with smoke of Iggy Delta's pack rocking him off into the stratosphere. Coughing and fanning, he bumped into a projector on the ground. It created a life sized hologram, photorealistic of Iggy standing and cheesing goofily. Lemmy snapped towards his watch. He forgot to scribble on a new minute hand. He picked it up and backtrack to the 50th floor. He was late. His dad and the others, even Princess Peach were waiting. Bowser sat on his salvaged red and gold plush throne, only dried out a few moments ago by diligent minions with hair dryers- who managed to make it work without electricity.
"Alright, do I gotta recap? We all know a freak incident last night tore my castle up and scattered us around then we were washed here. Lost anybody? Now.. oh great for Lemmy and Iggy to show. How were you two and Ludwig knocked into another Kingdom? Y'all didn't sneak out or nuthin last night, right?"
The commander of the Koopa Troop, sustaining that awkward half tuck, shifted slightly. "..Only to Neo Bowser City. I was restless and saw fit to make sure my brothers were safe while purchasing their video-game. Then- of course we were struck by calamity like all else!"
A portion of Lemmy's pent up frustration fizzled away, relieved Ludwig did not view such admission ignominious for his stature. It was only too bad the unsaid portion was 'crazy as a cracker', involving sleepwalking, Zoo Diddley, and an evil ancient artifact..
Bowser shrugged. "Fine.. So, the purpose of this is that.. I declare that we stay in Sky Land and rebuild here!"
Five seconds later: "WHAT?" Thunder boomed and all the candles went out, the smoke from such whisked back and forth as Bowser's repeated orders to shut up clashed against the counter-arguments involving every little thing…
Two hours later: "YES! I've explained a million times. I KNOW we have our heritage and junk in Dark Land. THIS DOESN'T CHANGE THAT! I want to have my castle HERE. Okay? Not where the old one is, not closer to Neo Bowser City where the shopping centers are, and not where it's hot and tropical all the time.. Wendy.. We're gonna conquer this joint as Property of Bowser starting today and… We re-kidnap Peach!"
A big cheer reverberated through the tower. Candles relit.. somehow, the sun came out, and birds sang outside.
Peach desperately broke out of the group and tumbled at Bowser's feet. "This is against our agreement! You've made my people sick! How can you prolong this game?"
Bowser rose, the light behind him from the window creating a menacing jagged silhouette. "Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Because it'll lure Mario and I want him to see me somewhere different for once!" Looking less cool all sudden, he zoned out.. "Meeting over. Everybody scram!"
Wendy immediately huddled up to her older brother. "Alright, let's do this general thing!"
"We shall see," Ludwig replied, unenthused. "Your desire to control the city is dazzling is all."
"I think not, nerd. It's baby steps. In fact I thought that was why you wanted that Villain Badge so much!" When she teased that, she poked him, making one of his exceptionally dry scutes flake off. She hardly noticed, but Ludwig dreadfully did.
Watching himself fall apart shocked some of his old habits back. Eldstar forgive him, he was about to get selfish again. "Sister mine, yes, the badge is fresh in mind and so, lend your ear…"
Shortly, Wendy veered away from him, beaming. "Luddy, you are the best!" she exclaimed, a rare statement indeed.
…
Bowser pressed the phone to his ear. It rang five times. He wasn't desperate. Him? No! He just needed to hear Mario. His tenor was always a surprise coming out of someone with so much testosterone, ( luxurious 'mane' of sorts.. and chest hair strongly hinting). Unspoken it must have embarrassed Mario though, why he intentionally lowered it frequently, yet it would emerge regardless if jubilant or surprised, like if Bowser poked him under the rib like he hated. Bowser would have had plenty of time to do that today in some other alternate universe. They'd planned two weeks ago for laser tag. Somewhere in his shell there might have been crumpled reservations under the pseudonym 'FF'. He forgot what it was supposed to mean, 'Frenemies something?' or was it 'Forever something?'
"Bowser."
"Mario!"
"-Save it, drama king. We know you're on the run and you've chosen to kidnap Peach for real if you haven't returned her at this point. You will pay soon enough, but something mega important is happening and I gotta go.."
He tried him back a few times to be annoying and test if that 'no' meant 'no'. No matter for now. The Koopa King practically bounced around his room thinking over the new joint he'd get to present to Mario. The new traps, obstacles, dungeons…
Bowser paused before a smallish triangular window and watched the land. Kammy's little trick, and he'd need to punish her sorry old behind for it at some point, maybe take away her credit cards, was waning as he saw waters recede from higher elevations, revealing green peaks and even an important looking white pillar or obelisk in the distance…In solitude, in 'safety' of sorts, Bowser identified the persistent knot in him. Separation anxiety.
Then a huge thump rippled through the tower, hard enough to jostle what little decoration he'd done for the spot adjacent to his throne. His copy of 'Pride and Prejudice', a giant old map, and a part of the lapis bust of his brother, were flung off, the bust rolling and spinning across the floor. It was the one object Bowser bothered to chase down. He picked it up and peered into his brother's near identical face mug, only differently colored. The castle destruction had reduced it to the shoulder up, and that little incident just now chipped a horn. The further damage highly irritated Bowser. His brother looming around in spirit had been a constant since he began to reign in castles- and that was a long time ago!
A minion stood at the passage in with a letter.
Bowser jerked it away from the koopatrol.
"...What?"
~Anything she wants! Anything she wants! I'll give you the key! Anything you need! What she says you know I'll do, that's my gift to you!
The scandalous for it's day track on the B side, "Shackled" by The Pizzas fades out.
Toadette's finger jutted out for that double backwards arrow button.
After a short journey overall, the duo reached Pleasant Path, an area of Toad Town with the highest property value second to Royal Raceway, likely due to the Mario brother's proximity and historical significance, the first location where 'enemy species' submitted to Mushroom rule. There was a fortress a mile away, a tourist attraction in the summer.
"You really love that tune, eh? It's alright I guess, haha..." Bridget trailed off in melancholy.
Toadette smiled nervously holding the button, praying the tired cassette didn't give out. Had it been born in a different format, it'd be considered so successful with its billion plays. Instead it was an out of print dad mushroom rock thing, introduced to her through her boyfriend Bucken-Berry, who got it from his surrogate 'father' of sorts Mario. Disappointingly the trip was over before Toadette's plan came to fruition. They parked at a more modest but presentable enough for the neighborhood flat. Startlingly the Mario brother's unoccupied home was three houses away..
"Sup, baby," greeted the pink boo floating in the mildly overgrown yard, gently assisting by hand the driver out the car. He was steely eyed and approaching middle aged with patches of gray in this beard stubble. "Thought you were joking when you said you could see some of us today! Sorry for doubting ya, hehe." They shared a brief but passionate, veering on inappropriately so, kiss.
Became apparent to the Toadette, whom Bridget excused away as just being 'some city girl with directions', that these folks weren't other guards, rather actual friends. The other two were a goomba with a jade beanie and a bouncy fuzzy with an electronic pipe. Toadette couldn't help but to fixate on this motley crew exemplified how sheltered she was under Peach at the castle all the time. Toads and those species had a rather shameful history together, with the Mushroom King being a proponent of that. While by modern standards there was nothing objectionable, to see the King's personal guard openly friends- and more, with them struck her. How did Bridget rationalize that? Or was it just a job to her?...
"I can't hang for long. My, uh, supervisor's wantin' me to travel real far, like where you work at Poshley Heights..."
Bridget detached from the extended hug, ruefully. "Oh.. what the heck Trev? You disappear a lot and not in a boo way. I'm starting to think you're a secret agent."
He laughed it off. "Cool fan-fiction. You know I'm just a cabbie. To make this up, G-Man over there, show her."
The shady looking goomba unlatched a guitar shaped hard case. Bridget ogled the single cut, maple flame burst, dual humbucker instrument with.. Les of Peach's Castle signature in gold at the headstock. Toadette quickly hid her near matching expression, assuming until then that Lester P Toad embellished old tales of artist endorsement deals..
"SWEET! You know I'm guitarded but I like it Trev, Goomfrey, and Obed."
During idle cha,t a Bandit slithered on the scene and tried to touch the expensive gift. Bridget whipped around and vaporized him on the spot with a zapper.
A rasp of "Bridge?" caught Toadette's attention before the color returned to her. Obed continued, "Yo, you show em! You don't hafta go back to babysitting, right? Meork.."
The guard lifted the weighty case. "Nah, the castle toads all went to the public address."
"Every last one of them self-righteous bastards?" Goomfrey asked dubiously.
"..S-sure.. Thanks for letting us meet at your brother's front lawn. It's outta the way like we needed!" Bridget went, seemingly to divert.
Toadette blushed, guilty she was trying to brainwash the guard.
"-Funny you mention my goodie-two shoes brother paying a two-thousand coin rent just so he can be one of the 'good' ones on this prissy side of town-"
"Get on with it!" Trevor cut in.
"'Cause he just texted me. He was at that public address thang, like way in the back tho, and next he knew folks started runnin' wild and nearly stomped em.."
On cue, Bridget's radio beeped. "... Copy." She paled, clicking off.. "Let's bounce." At her word, the three friends scattered in opposite directions like troublemakers at the sound of a siren. Bridget slung the guitar into the B-Dasher backseat, looking at Toadette. "So, like, this was cool of you to help me, thanks. We'd better stick together.."
"You're welcome, and no. No problem at all."
Working with so many strangers was risky but enjoyable to Toadette as the guard sped up and down the streets on patrol. She gave a start when they crossed by a certain silver ex-fast food joint.
"Could I pick something up at the Snifit Patrol precinct over there?"
"Quickly, but, Yeah."
By the time they crossed traffic and pulled up, Sergeant Howie was waddling across the lot, heavy keys swinging at his waist.
Toadette jumped out, not even using the door. "Officer! I work for the princess and-"
"Com'on! I need to roll out.." The grumbling whomp grant her inside the cramped cluttered office, furnishings well worn, with a pizza crust hanging out a trash can that dazed her for a second. She recovered and pointed to the Princess's parcel in the evidence cubby. At the last moment she remembered what Bucken-Berry wanted, lingering before a garbage bag wrapped and marked 'Zoo S. Diddley'.
"That one's not even wanted anymore."
"With Zoo's astronomical murder charges?"
"He executed in an 'incarnate' way. Dunno what that means, it's in Snifit Patrol and Douglas's notes. That made conclusively nailing the punk harder. Besides, they were just Bowser freaks. Even the bus driver was an ex-one.. Why ya care?"
She tried to ignore that brazen view and flashed her cute smile, it very foreign to lie to authority. "I need it. It contains artwork that he.. Well stole from-"
"Just take it all. I'm late!"
Toadette was pushed out of the station and the officer squeezed into his shuttle vehicle, the one she once rode yesterday and sped away. She returned to the B-Dasher, bobbing along to the music as they pulled off in better mood.
"-Are they real cops?"
"Not liege exactly, but for the sake of brevity we've always played along and let them enforce Toad Town, an alternative for altercations too miniscule for the Mario bros!" the brainy pink toadette explained excitedly. "It's more recent than many think, unless they dredge. Not unlike how Toad Town and all of our streets have only had their name for forty-four years at this point."
"Really?"
"Yeah. How's it up North with the retired King?"
"Boring. Not enough stuff to blast. It is wild though that our King booked it and left this place when the princess was like, young-?"
"Fourteen to be exact," Toadette deflated mildly. "Was retired bad phrasing?"
"Ha ha, it's good. I used to kinda wonder it's like your Snifit Patrol, and everybody's playing along with something, like, I dunno way bigger than us toads, ya know? Nevermind I get loony- more when I'm stressed out."
"Please, I'd love to assist. What are you looking for?"
Bridget's smile dropped, Toadette hated to see it. "I didn't want to work you up. Our rep was just murdered! Not by some Bowser freakazoid either. He said they looked like any other Mushroomite, except with a tennis racket and a freeze gun."
"What?" Toadette couldn't believe it. Anyone walking around, and there was an increase lately, could be a new killer. "If I may, I really think we should tell the Mario brothers about this. I know you were trying to apprehend one of them but they were the ones who handled Zoo."
"I-I get that, haha, but my orders."
"You could be a hero in a way!"
"Toadette, I get that too, but I know my place and I'm alright with it. Some of usare cut out to be special, like Mr. Toad, and others to do thankless work and be.. A toad," she said contently.
Hearing a King's servant question those axioms again impressed Toadette, not to mention the emotional maturity. Were they 'friends' now? Toadette, as bubbly as she seemed at surface, wasn't really the best at that, yet she felt open around the other girl.
"Would you like to meet Mr. Toad? In serendipity he is just across the South border."
"Haha... I can't go there.."
"Oh you bend rules sometimes. Like now."
"Weeell.."
"Not even for me?" Toadette cooed flirtatiously under the music playing. "Servitude is my specialty and I am eager to plea-excuse me." She jabbed the pause button and breathed out. That girl was taken anyway and so was she! But.. Bridget did seem to like pink and she in turn liked dark spotted toads.. Wait. No!
Bridget looked at her and then back to the road, blushing.. "Dude stop I'm.. Okay I'll go.. Just stop using words like that!"
"Am I ostentatious?"
"-See? Because. I think like it." The guard palm glided to her's, kindling anew the flames within Toadette. Too late. They were 'Shackled'(Copyright)
Nurse Laki stopped Jr. Troopa before he rounded the hall.
"Psst," the noki gestured over to the guy at the other end, hanging outside the Mushroom Flu patient room.
"...Yeah, Mushroom Flu. I've told you. Isn't it in mainstream media by now?... Oh mhm. Don't give up on 0064's status.. Serena Beach.. Yes I know communication is slow, but I saw the breaking news about what happened there. Don't be that way, Charles. I'm not supposed to even contact you while on leave..." The orange yoshi kept his chin down, tensed. His suit coat was under his arm, it apparent he'd worn it until the temperatures of the South got to him.
Laki continued, stooping behind his medical cart. "...I think that guy was in the YoshiMobile commercial years ago. He switched to promoting IslandMobile with my second cousin thrice removed. They bought a Festive Tree together."
Jr. Troopa scratched his head. "The 'Can you hear me now?' hipster guy? "I think you're trippin and that's not him. You think all yoshi's look alike?"
"No!"
"Just come with me to Vick's then. You can gossip 'bout Mecha-Yoshis instead. Those Macho Outlaws busted in I told ya. Also Bob the librarian missed an appointment so we might wanna check that. Get to it, newb." Troopa elbowed him, ribbing the older recently hired nurse.
When a sizable crew filled the hallway moments later, that Yoshi stranger was nowhere to be found.
"Moma-Mia.. just in time." Mario held the rails to Toad's bed, grimacing. Also in the room was a yoshi, a doogan, and a koopa, though coming in, they were aware that Toad would get the single antidote prepared. He was the only one with a 'may resuscitate with highly experimental and dangerous medicine" in his records. He also had the most dire vitals being the oldest at forty seven. (Even Dr. Toadley's head spun at the revelation of Toad and Toadsworth being only seven years apart.) Dr. Toadley propped himself abreast to the red plumber, one eyebrow arching.
"Am I reconsidering this procedure? Yes I am."
Everyone shared a collective groan, or for the green plumber at Daisy's spot on the end, a mewl. Only he understood a subtle shift in purple toad doctor. Training intently on the unwell tomboy princess, he began to respect their caution.
Dr. Toad was forced to find his voice, twisting away from charts on the wall. "Doctor, elucidate please! I reverse engineered that virus sample myself."
Dr. Topper folded his arms with disappointment. "Drew, that's not the explanation you shared before. That's going to potently overstimulate his immune system. Our deciding factor in helping you here was your abstinence from stunts like that."
"I am aware, John!" he replied exasperatedly. "If Morris has not arrived and doesn't believe in cellular phones for us to verify his location, and we're burning our borrowed time here, is this unjustified? I think not. For science."
Mario's gaze darted between Special World doctors with suspicion. "I don't know or care who's who with these proper names all a sudden, but should we do this or not?"
Dr. Toadley put his foot down. "We cannot give the sole cure to Mr. Toad? I cannot say I am convinced."
Bucken-Berry's ears perked, seated in the darkest corner the entire time, maintaining a sort of barrier between him and Mr. Toad continuing to get every privilege ever, and Dr. Toad, conjecturally Zoo's secret brother.. Now it seemed Mr. Toad might be hopeless and that doctor in hot water, for reasons not completely their fault.
He stood. "Guys."
The arguments stopped and seven pairs of eyes stared through him, making him feel like the biggest bluest idiot in that moment. He persisted, Mario's question back at the park about wanting to be a hero or not echoing in his skull. And not because it was empty. He hoped.
"Doing that 'immunization'," he sounded out carefully, "trick on Mr. Toad can work. They did it for me once.. I was only eight and the week before my hometown was shroob invaded, and I was recovering from the Goombapox. I was told by this human doctor guy that lived in the forest alone and had glasses and like one brown truff of hair, whoever that was, that that's why I survived the vim draining. My immune system was still hiked up over that.." Their blank expressions back ticked him off. "Did I share this for nothing?! It has velocity!"
"...You mean validity, sir," Thomas corrected.
He strangled him.
While that was going on Luigi began to think. "...He must mean Prof. E Gadd. As much as he wrote things down, he told me he could never publish his work for a weird reason."
"Ah, ha. I knew I learned from someone!" Dr. Toad obscured his blush from such an outburst with a clipboard, murmuring next, "Thank you blue toad nurse. -And you are indeed more handsome without the mask, even as you brutalize that guy over there!"
Accusers Mario and Dr. Topper backed off, confused about Dr. Toad's connection to a professor specializing in boos and, well, that other part.. They let it go when Dr. Toadley nodded sagely, satisfied with the turn of events.
The purple-clad doctor slipped up his long sleeves and rose his arms, from which a clear star with three more stars inside hovered from his fingertips. The energy gravitated to and dissipated over Toad's body with brilliant gleam that lit the room, and blew them all back but Dr. Toad, awestruck and recording observations until Dr. Topper yanked him back by the coat. There was an additional, gentiler floosh in the room that flapped everyone's clothing as the light went out, punctuated Toad's monitors firing up with activity. Everyone eagerly waited around his bed.
"Is it an accelerated process? Yes it is."
"He has a 200 BPM heart rate," Toadley's intern added.
"-A very accelerated process."
Toad's eyes cracked open, watery, but with an unmissable spark behind them. "Did Daze and I win?.. Ha ha.." His soft raspy laugh draped the room in solace. "Guess who's back?"
Mario wiped some of his sweat away with a cloth. "You, of course!"
"The people's electoral vote this Monday in 48 of 52 participating kingdoms, homeboy.. "
The red plumber blinked. "…What?"
"-Can."
They promptly gave Toad space as he vomited toxins into a bucket. Dissonantly there was a hullabaloo from spectators through the window and door haphazardly left wide open. Jr. Troopa, reeking of motor oil and clothing burnt black, burst in, the foremost of those abuzz that Mr. Toad Kinopio Toad, Earl of Mushroom Kingdom was now on the road to recovery. For everyone's sanity he was relocated into a private space to recuperate…
…
Twenty minutes later, the door crept open. This room outside the main building was homely, wood paneling, metal spinning fan, a cowhide rug.. TV wouldn't stop broadcasting some situation oceans away. His patched up, broken and repaired twice, phone slipped from his hand, too weak to speak anymore. Kinopio-Kun was predictably a sycophant, but didn't know where his staff was, not the thing to hear when there was a new killer in town! Worse yet, Toad understood that no one else could be cured or even close without a missing doctor. On his belly lay a face magazine, the only thing he had to write his little decree of sorts on.
The visitors, hand in hand sauntered close enough for him to decipher with his hazy vision.
"-Toadette? So. You're cutting out on Cool Blue now or-?"
The pink toad stumbled against the side of his bed, covering her mouth. "Mr. Toad, oh my gosh they were able to help you! And no, Bridget and I … I thought I was clever hitching a ride here. It's complicated."
"Seriously?" the guard said, offended..
Slowly Toad leaned upwards, perspicaciously humored. He signed the magazine and handed it over to Bridget. "Give that to your buddies of the King. I'm caught up. My brain only exploded once during the recap."
Bridget allowed the Koopa Kronicles to flop in her fingers. "Why? I wanted to meet you but now I'm just so pissed and annoyed I let my eyes wander and I'm still confused.."
"Umm. I didn't mean to brainwash you!" Toadette explained. "And myself simultaneously-"
Bridget turned her way belligerently, revealing the zapper. "Wait, so you did that on purpose? Are you a creep?!"
Toad cut in, enjoying this. "That cassette's for wooing ladies, homegirl. So times two, well.."
"I didn't think of that?" Toadette flushed horribly.
What happened next was violent- for the television set and the wall with it, blown to smithereens by Bridget and that zapper. "This never happened. I'm out... And I'm not playing guitar for you any more!" She stomped away through the new opening, ignoring the door and Toadette's efforts to stop her.
The pink toad sighed dejectedly in the door frame.
"You really have a type!"
Slowly the quirks of Mr. Toad all came back to Toadette. "Ugh.." She dragged her feet back to his side. "I can't believe I've just put this pressure on you. How will you handle this mess from here?"
"Easy. I know how their King thinks.."
Kylie sang praises one minute that she had an expedient way to get out of that scene, and then cursed the next. It was the originator of that lethal ice ray. She turned to stone at the wheel, she blew through a light by mistake, and every guard vehicle that passed by stuck the fear of Eldstar in her that she'd be recognized as a friend of Boo. What had gotten into them and where to start?
She flew to the Mushroom Press and parked around back, away from street view. She tiptoed inside and was clocked instantly, receiving a quizzical but not accusatory look from the red haired human, Jessie at her desk. Kylie wondered if she overreacted, plopping down in her cubicle and reviewing pictures. Unfortunately she'd stopped snapping before the carnage. Her foot slipped an inch from moisture on her chair mat. She'd gotten away so quickly slush- from the murder, was still melting from the ridges of her shoe…
…
When she pulled up to her co-workers condo off Pleasant Path, the Lexus that should have been there was missing and the front door was wide open. There was just enough adrenaline still pumping through her to not lose it as she propelled herself to his porch.
"Mitch?! Are you okay?"
The green toad normally had a beautiful place, mid century meets a person who's traveled for career, gotten acquainted with many, and collected a multitude for it, odd trinkets, signed photos, and posters. In the darkness, Kylie could perceive that Mitch's table and sofa, even hardwood floor was marred with papers and folders spread about. She tripped over something on the ground, the gold dislodged lock from his door.
"I paid locksmiths to do that. My keys were lost when the car went to the scrap yard." Mitch said from the closed up adjacent room.
His normally dark silky tone was even more warbly since the hospital. Kylie calmed regardless standing at the door. In the picture on a red painted accent wall, they were young in bathing suits, having fun on some beach. The reporter began to wonder if that came off weird to anyone else Mitch dated since though.. In another below Mitch was fresh faced in a vest and white pants, the getup of any spritely castle toad. She gloomed. One day they'd discovered a letter for Mitch in the mail. It was his dream. He'd babble forever and agonized over the final interview, however..
"..Why would ya frame that with the happy memories?"
"Huh? Oh that one. Because that was the day I learned something. We've been though that. Anyway, I knew you'd show. I know what happened, babe."
Kylie got her focus back. "Righto.. Outta nowhere Boo has these species war ideas! What do you think got into them? You're on the mends I know, but I got nobody, not even your noki intern. They're gonna connect me eventually. I mean I was in the front row!"
"You were.." He acknowledged. "I wanna help but.."
"Mitch, don't be that way!" she begged. "Want me to look like a fool? Grovel? I will this time, you win, 'cause I only need you to get into their head."
"I have. Because they're here."
A shiver went through her spine as Boo drifted through the front wall. "Hello, Ms. Kylie. Mr. Mitch."
The reporter proceeded with the care of traversing a minefield, trapped shell against Mitch's door. She thought for a moment to run or enter the room, if even accessible, but held fast. "-Boo. Fella. None of this brings us closer to getting Peach back. Ain't that the crux of this all? You can't rampage wantonly. You'll be like Zoo!"
The boo's mouth became a flat line, eyes remaining slightly squinted but intense. The held object was the discarded Bowser racket from the game that Zoo initially stole. "Wrong, Ms. Kylie. Boo Diddley's cousin killed many. I won't kill again…"
"Because you aren't Boo Diddley, dude," Mitch cut in, startling Kylie.
The boo smirked, astoundingly making a slow retreat. "As an addendum, I won't kill again. Unless. I. Have. To."
With another whoosh they were gone.
Author note: Had to cut it there Hope the very serious and not so much parts didn't turn off anyone. If you'd made it this far in the story, likely not.
We are going to mess with the format I'm doing going forward so there's not so many giant globs of chapter. That made sense for the original version of Redux, which was to emulate an epic of sorts. Here, I took notes of the 2016/17 Frenemies Forever, the fountainhead of this twisted idea, where the journey with interpersonal relationship rivaled the physical. I'll touch on it more in future bio/ supplementary materials.
Split from previous 7/26/22 (small portion, some ideas), 8/2/22, 8/4, 8/5, 8/7, 8/8, 8/9, 8/11, 8/12
